Your daily dose of Whatever!!
The NBA Banned Racist L.A. Clippers Owner Donald Sterling For Life, and Wants to Force Him to Sell the Team
The NBA has banned racist L.A. Clippers owner DONALD STERLING . . . FOR LIFE. NBA commissioner Adam Silver says Sterling is barred from attending any league activity, including games . . . and he’s urging the owners to vote to force Sterling to sell the team.
Why the Owners May Not Vote to Oust Donald Sterling
It seems like a slam-dunk that the other NBA owners would vote to force DONALD STERLING to sell the L.A. Clippers, but there IS a reason they may not. Dallas Mavericks owner MARK CUBAN says it would set a “scary” precedent to strip owners of their teams for any moronic things they do in their private lives.
Celebrity Breakups: Olivia Munn, Prince Harry and Zach Braff
1. OLIVIA MUNN and “Robocop” star JOEL KINNAMAN have broken up, after about two years together. A source says they split a few months ago, and “distance” had a lot to do with it.
2. This probably means a lot more to you if you’re listening to us from somewhere in the United Kingdom . . . but naked billiards champion PRINCE HARRY is single again.
He and his girlfriend Cressida Bonas have broken up after about two years together. A source says Harry found her, quote, “too needy.”
3. ZACH BRAFF and his girlfriend, model Taylor Bagley, broke up about a month ago. Zach’s rep says, quote, “They are continuing their friendship but are no longer a couple.”
Sexy Pictures of Famous People
1. (NC-17) When RIHANNA poses nude for a magazine, there’s none of that “cover up the good parts” crap.
By the way . . . Rihanna posted these on Instagram, and the site told her she could lose her account if she keeps posting dirty pics. (Read more about that here.)
2. MARIAH CAREY doesn’t wear a lot in the new issue of “Wonderland” magazine, and that’s okay.
4. If you’re an MMA fighter who really wants to psych out an opponent, you might want to invest in some fighting shorts with NICOLAS CAGE’S face all over them. In other words, CAGE CAGE SHORTS.
5. BILLY CRYSTAL and MEG RYAN got together the other night to celebrate with their “When Harry Met Sally” director ROB REINER, who was receiving an award. If you can believe it, that movie turns 25 this summer.
6. ELLEN PAGE shows off more skin than usual on the cover of “Flare” magazine.
The New “Star Wars” Cast Has Been Announced
The cast of the new “Star Wars” movie has been announced. As expected, it includes original stars HARRISON FORD, CARRIE FISHER and MARK HAMILL. Also coming back are the guys who played Chewbacca, C3PO and R2-D2. New cast members include the legendary Max Von Sydow, Adam Driver from HBO’s “Girls” and the guy who played Gollum in “Lord of the Rings”.
It’s Official: Gwen Stefani Will Be a Judge on “The Voice”
GWEN STEFANI confirmed that she’ll be a judge on the seventh season of “The Voice” . . . by posting a picture of her hand holding a microphone and making the “V” symbol.
She’ll judge alongside BLAKE SHELTON, ADAM LEVINE and another newbie, PHARRELL WILLIAMS.
Was Naya Rivera Fired from “Glee”?
NAYA RIVERA has apparently been written out of the “Glee” fifth season finale, and it’s not clear whether she’ll be asked back for the sixth and final season.
Earlier this month there was a rumor going around that Naya got into a huge blow-out with the producers and LEA MICHELE, because she was fed up with Lea getting all the attention. Naya was reportedly escorted off the set.
But everyone denied it at the time, and Naya’s rep now says, quote, “Any reports or rumors circulating that Naya Rivera was let go or fired from ‘Glee’ are absolutely untrue. End of story.”
Are These the 10 Biggest Whipping Boy Characters on TV?
Someone has put out a list of the Top 10 whipping boy characters on TV. Jonah Ryan on “Veep” was #1, followed by Jerry Gergich on “Parks and Recreation”.
1. Jonah Ryan on “Veep”
2. Jerry Gergich on “Parks and Recreation”
3. Theon Greyjoy on “Game of Thrones”
4. Pete Campbell on “Mad Men”
5. Dr. Andre Nowzick on “The League”
6. Toby Flenderson on “The Office”
7. Sweet Dee on “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”
8. Ted Buckland on “Scrubs”
9. Chuckie Marstein on “Sons of Anarchy”
10. E.B. Farnum on “Deadwood”
“The Big Bang Theory” Was #1 in the Ratings . . . and “Bad Teacher” Attracted 7.8 Million Viewers
“The Big Bang Theory” is #1 in last week’s ratings, and “The Blacklist” took fourth place for the episode where Agent Keen finally confronts her fake husband.
“The Voice” averaged 11.25 million viewers . . . and “American Idol” averaged 8.4 million for its two airings. Here are last week’s Top 10 shows:
1. “The Big Bang Theory”, CBS, 16.4 million viewers.
2. “Dancing with the Stars”, ABC, 14.1 million viewers.
3. Tuesday’s episode of “The Voice”, NBC, 11.3 million viewers.
4. “The Blacklist”, NBC, 11.2 million viewers.
5. Monday’s episode of “The Voice”, NBC, 11.2 million viewers.
6. “Blue Bloods”, CBS, 11.1 million viewers.
7. “60 Minutes”, CBS, 10.4 million viewers.
8. An “NCIS” repeat, CBS, 10.4 million viewers.
9. An “NCIS: Los Angeles” repeat, CBS, 10.2 million viewers.
10. “The Millers”, CBS, 10 million viewers.
Wednesday TV Reminders:
• “American Idol” [Performance Show] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. The top five are Jena Irene, Caleb Johnson, Alex Preston, Jessica Meuse, and Sam Woolf.
• “Deal With It” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TBS. Bob Saget and Chuey Martinez from L.A.’s KIIS-FM are this week’s pranksters.
• “The Americans” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on FX. Tonight’s show includes a song called “It Must Be Done” that Pete Townshend wrote specifically for this episode.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon” – David Spade, Sophia Bush, and The Both.
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” – Lucy Liu, Barney Frank, and Parquet Courts.
• “Letterman” – Kiefer Sutherland, writer Adam Resnick, and Benjamin Booker.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Leslie Mann, “Scandal’s” Tony Hale, and Franz Ferdinand.
• “Carson Daly” – “Amazing Spider-Man” director Marc Webb, and The Colourist.
• “Arsenio” – Shemar Moore, plus Malina Moye & Bootsy Collins.
• “Conan” – Seth Green, comedian Dave Attell, and O.A.R.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Rachael Taylor from “Crisis”, and comedian Jim Gaffigan.
• “Chelsea Lately” – Helen Hunt.
• “Jon Stewart” – Martin Gilens, and Benjamin Page on their recent political study.
• “The Colbert Report” – Actress Audra McDonald.
Five Random Facts For Wednesday
1. One out of three Americans hasn’t been to the dentist in at least a year.
2. In PG-13 movies, the F-word can be used exactly one time. Like, in “Anchorman”, they saved it for Ron Burgundy saying, “Go [eff] yourself, San Diego.” But if a movie uses it a second time, it automatically gets an R rating.
3. The fastest growing medium for music is . . . VINYL. Thanks to hipsters, vinyl sales on Amazon.com are up 745% since 2008.
4. The following people have all killed someone in a car accident: Laura Bush, Matthew Broderick, Keith Moon, Rebecca Gayheart, Brandy, Vince Neil, and Howard Hughes.
5. According to a new study in the National Academy of Sciences, approximately one out of 25 people on death row in the U.S. is innocent.
The Number One Thing Moms Want For Mother’s Day Is Quality Time With You . . . But You’d Rather Send Flowers
The number one thing moms want for Mother’s Day this year is . . . QUALITY TIME with you. Unfortunately, you only plan on sending flowers. In a new survey, 44% of mothers say they want quality time with their children the most . . . but only 29% of people actually plan on spending time with their mothers on Mother’s Day.
The 10 Things Guys Like Talking About
A new survey had men rank their favorite subjects to talk about. The top five are: News and current events . . . sports . . . work . . . family . . . and TV. Sex came in last.
93% of Straight Guys Have Cuddled With Another Guy
According to a new study, 93% of straight men say they’ve CUDDLED with another man . . . and 98% have shared a bed with another man. For what it’s worth, all of the guys in the study were 18 or 19, white, and British.
Can Watermelon Help You Get Engorged?
This kind of feels like an urban legend, but we thought we’d pass it along in case it works. Apparently, a few studies have found that WATERMELON is like NATURE’S VIAGRA.
The studies found that watermelon is SO GOOD for blood circulation that it can help you with your ENGORGEMENTS. Now you know. (Nerve)
The Best Age to Go on a Diet Is 31 For Men and 32 For Women
We never encourage people to diet . . . chubbiness is gorgeousness. Plus the entire world is chubby now, so why should you choke down kale-wrapped tofu while everyone else eats three giant slices of pie? But if you want to . . . here’s a tip.
A new study found the best AGE to diet is 32 for a woman and 31 for a man. The researchers found it was harder to lose weight in your 20s when you’re out PARTYING more . . . and harder as you get into your late 30s and your metabolism slows down.
People are also more likely to stick to diets in their early- and mid-30s . . . by their late 30s and after, they stop CARING as much about being skinnier. (Daily Mail)
The World’s Chubbiest Woman Plans to Lose 165 Pounds . . . So She Can “Dance All Night” at Her Wedding
The world’s CHUBBIEST WOMAN is a 38-year-old in Iowa who weighs 765 pounds. And she’s raising money to get gastric bypass . . . so she can walk down the aisle and “dance all night” when she marries her 22-year-old boyfriend. But only one doctor will perform it at her current weight.
A Guy Tried to Jump Over a 20-Foot Section of Collapsed Bridge “Dukes of Hazzard” Style . . . and It Worked
A guy was driving across a bridge in South Carolina on Monday . . . and saw a 20-foot section MISSING. It had just collapsed, so he made the split-second decision to JUMP IT . . . “Dukes of Hazzard” style. And somehow he landed safely on the other side . . . instead of falling 25 feet onto some railroad tracks.
The Most Popular Books in America Are the Bible, “Gone With the Wind”, and “Harry Potter”
According to a new survey, America’s favorite book is . . . The Bible. Followed by “Gone With the Wind”, the “Harry Potter” series, the “Lord of the Rings” series, and “To Kill a Mockingbird”.
1. The Bible.
2. “Gone With the Wind” by Margaret Mitchell.
3. The “Harry Potter” series by J.K. Rowling.
4. The “Lord of the Rings” series by J.R.R. Tolkien.
5. “To Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee.
6. “Moby Dick” by Herman Melville.
7. “Catcher in the Rye” by J.D. Salinger.
8. “Little Women” by Louisa May Alcott.
9. “The Grapes of Wrath” by John Steinbeck.
10. “The Great Gatsby” by F. Scott Fitzgerald.
When they did the same survey in 2008, “The Da Vinci Code” and “Angels and Demons” by Dan Brown both made the top 10 . . . along with “Atlas Shrugged” by Ayn Rand and “The Stand” by Stephen King. (Harris Interactive)
Dianna Agron is 28. Quinn Fabray on “Glee”.
Gal Gadot is 29. “Fast & Furious” minx who’s the next Wonder Woman.
Kirsten Dunst is 32. Mary Jane in the original “Spider-Man” trilogy. And a FAN OF THE MARY JANE in real life. She admits to enjoying the occasional reefer cigarette.
Lloyd Banks is 32. 50 Cent’s boy in G-Unit.
Kunal Nayyar is 33. Raj on “The Big Bang Theory”.
Johnny Galecki is 39. Geeky Leonard on “Big Bang Theory”. But to me he’ll always be Darlene’s geeky husband, David, on “Roseanne”.
Jeff Timmons is 41. Tattooed founding member of 98 Degrees.
Country minx Carolyn Dawn Johnson is 43.
T.T. Boy is 46. Pornographic he-whore from over 1,600 fine films, including . . . “Super Hornio Brothers”, “Immaculate Erection” AND ” Bridges of Anal County”!
Adrian Pasdar is 49. Nathan Petrelli on “Heroes” and Glenn Talbot on “Agents of “S.H.I.E.L.D.” He gets to nail my beautiful Dixie Chicks chubby Natalie Maines ANYTIME HE WANTS TO!
Isiah Thomas is 53. Former NBA star, now a sucky former NBA coach. Isiah was replaced as president of the New York Knicks . . . then FIRED as head coach by the NEW president . . . after compiling a 56 and 108 record as coach.
He then became an ADVISOR to the new president . . . then the coach of Florida International University . . . but they canned him too.
Merrill Osmond is 61. The Osmonds. I think he’s the second one from the left.
Bobby Vee is 71. Superstar who sang the smashes “Take Good Care of My Baby”, “Devil or Angel” and “The Night Has a Thousand Eyes”.
Burt Young is 74. Rocky’s no-good brother-in-law Paulie in the “Rocky” movies. Of course, I will always remember him as Gimpy in the 1970 horror “classic” “Carnival of Blood” . . . his first movie role. He also played Rodney Dangerfield’s heavy, Lou, in “Back to School”.
Willie Nelson is 81. Fifth degree black belt who enjoys the occasional reefer cigarette.
Cloris Leachman is 88. She’s Maw Maw on the Fox comedy “Raising Hope”. Back in the day, she played Mrs. Garrett’s replacement, Beverly Ann, on “The Facts of Life”. Also Frau Blücher in the 1975 classic, “Young Frankenstein” . . . and Great Gam Gam, the FORMER GERMAN WHORE, in “Beerfest”!
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 2 days to Spider Man 2
• 11 days to Mother’s Day
• 23 days to Days of Future Past
• 23 days to Memorial Day Weekend
• 46 days to Father’s Day
• 996 days left of “Hope and Change”
211 years ago . . . In 1803, France sold the land from the Mississippi River to the Rocky Mountains to the United States. The massive real estate deal is known as THE LOUISIANA PURCHASE. Cost: $15 MILLION . . . about 4 CENTS an acre.
75 years ago . . . In 1939, LOU GEHRIG, the “Iron Horse”, played his 2,130th consecutive game . . . and his last. He didn’t miss a day of work for nearly 14 YEARS, but his body was too weakened by Lou Gehrig’s Disease to keep going.
39 years ago . . . In 1975, the U.S. officially LOST THE VIETNAM WAR, as the South Vietnamese capital, Saigon, fell to the Commies. (Like me, most of you probably have a crazy uncle who gets hammered at every family function and says stuff like, “We were WINNING before they sent me home!”)
37 years ago . . . In 1977, STEVE MILLER’S classic “Jet Airliner” was released.
22 years ago . . . In 1992, amidst the rioting and looting in Los Angeles following the Beaten Black Motorist Rodney King verdict, some hoodlums STOLE MADONNA’S BUSTIER from Fredrick’s of Hollywood.
(A $1,000 reward was offered . . . but the bustier was never returned.)
22 years ago . . . In 1992, the final episode of “The Cosby Show” aired after eight seasons. 44 million people watched.
21 years ago . . . In 1993, sexy MONICA SELES was stabbed in the back by a crazy-kraut during a match against STEFFI GRAF. Seles didn’t play professional tennis again for nearly three years.
17 years ago . . . In 1997, the “ELLEN” COMING-OUT EPISODE aired on ABC.
16 years ago . . . In 1998, on a Los Angeles freeway, 40-year-old Daniel V. Jones set his truck on fire . . . WITH HIS DOG STILL IN IT, and then SHOT HIMSELF TO DEATH ON LIVE TV, all to protest how horribly his HMO had treated him once he became HIV-positive. (His dog, Gladdis, died in the truck fire.)
15 years ago . . . In 1999, all five members of AEROSMITH visited COLUMBINE shooting victim Lance Kirklin in the hospital before their show in Denver that evening.
The band dedicated “Living On The Edge” to young Lance, who was one of the 28 wounded and 13 killed by their two deranged classmates at Columbine High School on April 20th.
10 years ago . . . In 2004, MICHAEL JACKSON pleaded not guilty to his indictment on the many charges related to his child molestation case, including giving an intoxicating beverage to a minor. He was eventually acquitted.
Six years ago . . . In 2008, after only dating for six weeks, MARIAH CAREY and NICK CANNON got married in the Bahamas. Somehow, they’re still together.
Five years ago . . . In 2009, CHRYSLER filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Italian carmaker Fiat ended up buying them.