Your daily dose of Whatever!!
“The Wolf of Wall Street” and “American Hustle” Lead the MTV Movie Award Nominations
The nominees for the MTV Movie Awards were announced yesterday, and “The Wolf of Wall Street” and “American Hustle”
“The Hunger Games: Catching Fire” follows with seven . . . and “We’re the Millers” has six.
All of them . . . except “We’re the Millers” . . . are up for Movie of the Year . . . alongside “The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug”, and “12 Years a Slave”, which won Best Picture at both the Academy Awards and the Golden Globes.
Other highlights are: The Best Kiss category, which includes JENNIFER LAWRENCE and AMY ADAMS in “American Hustle” . . . the Best Fight category, with the epic brawl from “Anchorman 2″ . . .
And then there’s the Best Shirtless Performance category, which includes four MALE nominees . . . and JENNIFER ANISTON in “We’re the Millers”.
Miley Cyrus Attacks Katy Perry for Dissing Her Tongue
MILEY CYRUS was apparently not happy with KATY PERRY’S joke about breaking off their kiss because Miley’s tongue is nasty. Because Miley Tweeted, quote, “Girl if you’re worried about where tongues have been good thing ur ex boo is ur EX BOO cause we ALL know where THAT [tongue’s] been.” That’s obviously a reference to Katy’s ex JOHN MAYER.
Has Miley Cyrus Gone the Way of the Gay?
MILEY CYRUS has been kissing a lot of girls lately. And she has the haircut of a 12-year-old Little Leaguer. Does that mean she has officially switched teams?
A very unreliable website says she has. Supposedly she’d been dating that producer MIKE WILL MADE IT, but she dumped him to go diving into the lady pool.
A source says, quote, “She don’t like guys anymore. Maybe it’s a phase, maybe it’s forever. But Miley’s gay.”
Important Update: Andrew Garfield Isn’t the Villain of the Batkid Story . . . He’s the Hero
It turns out ANDREW GARFIELD isn’t the reason the Batkid segment was pulled from the Oscars. The Academy blames, quote, “the logistics of production.” But they also said Garfield made it right by going to Disneyland with Batkid and his family the next day.
Batkid’s mother says they were informed of the change the morning of the show . . . quote, “I don’t know if they ran out of time, or I there was something about the segment they didn’t like.
“It got pulled so quickly that we didn’t have a lot of insight into what was going on.”
The Video of Justin Bieber Peeing in Jail Is Out
The video of JUSTIN BIEBER providing a urine sample in jail has finally surfaced . . . and it’s a waste of two minutes of your time. You just see Justin peeing behind a privacy wall. And if there was a chance of anything private being seen over it, it’s censored by a giant black box.
(Here’s the video. Is it weird that the Internet is obsessed with jailhouse footage from Justin’s arrest? WHO GIVES A RAT’S ASS!)
One of Oprah’s Twitter Followers Asked Her For One of Her Dresses . . . And Oprah Gave It To Her
A woman loved a dress that OPRAH wore on a magazine cover so much that she went on Twitter and asked Oprah for it. Oprah replied, quote, “I won’t wear [it] ever again contact my asst. and show her this tweet.” Within a week, the woman had the dress.
Did Princess Diana Once Trick Oprah Into Eating a Fatty Dessert, While She Secretly Ate a Fat-Free Version?
PRINCESS DIANA’S personal chef Darren McGrady says that Diana and OPRAH WINFREY were having lunch together one time, and Diana served Oprah a creamy, mayonnaise-filled tomato mousse. Diana had Oprah THINKING she was eating the same thing . . . but she was actually eating a FAT-FREE VERSION.
Martha Stewart’s Best Sex Tip: Bathe Before and After
During an online chat with fans, MARTHA STEWART was asked for her best sex tip. And she said, quote, “Always take a bath before and after.” She also said she thinks she had a PRISON NICKNAME when she was locked up for insider trading, but she can’t remember what it was.
The Real Names of 36 Celebrities
The “Huffington Post” put together a big list of celebrities’ real names, and some of them are pretty surprising: Stevie Wonder‘s real name is “Stevland Hardaway Judkins” . . . Chuck Norris’ first name is actually “Carlos” . . . and Tom Cruise’s real last name is “Mapother.”
Lea Michele’s full name is actually Lea Michele Sarfati.
Michael J. Fox’s middle name doesn’t start with a “J.” It’s Andrew.
Audrey Hepburn’s real name is Edda Kathleen van Heemstra Hepburn-Ruston.
Lorde’s birth name is Ella Maria Lani Yelich-O’Connor.
George Michael could’ve been known as Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou.
Courtney Love’s real name is Love Michelle Harrison.
If Stevie Wonder could read his birth certificate, he’d see Stevland Hardaway Judkins.
Téa Leoni is a shortened form of her real name: Elizabeth Téa Pantaleoni.
Hulk Hogan actually has the dorky name Terry Gene Bollea.
Pink’s real name is Alecia Moore.
Nicki Minaj’s real name is even weirder: Onika Tanya Maraj.
Bruno Mars’ actual name is a mouthful: Peter Gene Bayot Hernandez.
Faith Hill could’ve gone by her birth name Audrey Perry.
Cher is short for Cheryl Sarkisian.
Portia De Rossi is a cool name. Her real name . . . not so much: Amanda Lee Rogers.
Adele’s full name is Adele Laurie Blue Adkins . . . or, as John Travolta might call her, Idina Menzel. (???)
Demi Moore simplified her name from Demetria Gene Guynes.
Natalie Portman’s real last name is Hershlag.
Louis C.K. is an odd stage name . . . but it rolls off the tongue better than Louis Szekely.
Elton John’s real name is Reginald Kenneth Dwight.
Carmen Electra is a hotter name than Tara Leigh Patrick.
Pat Benatar probably made the right call NOT being known as Patricia Mae Andrzejewsi.
Michael Caine’s real name is Maurice Joseph Micklewhite.
Meg Ryan’s birth name is Margaret Hyra.
If you didn’t know, Miley Cyrus’ real first name is Destiny.
Dakota Fanning’s actual first name is the less-stately Hannah.
Steven Tyler’s real last name is Tallarico.
Would Chuck Norris still be as cool with the name Carlos Norris?
Tina Fey’s full name is Elizabeth Stamatina Fey.
Joaquin Phoenix’s last name is actually Bottom.
Tina Turner could’ve been known as Anna Mae Bullock.
Vin Diesel sounds tough . . . Mark Vincent sounds bland.
Jamie Foxx’s real name is Eric Marlon Bishop.
Tom Cruise dropped his real last name: Mapother.
Ben Kingsley could’ve been known as Krishna Pandit Bhanji.
And finally, I actually kind of wish Olivia Wilde had kept her real last name . . . because it’s COCKBURN.
“300: Rise of an Empire” and “Mr. Peabody & Sherman” Are Out Today
Sullivan Stapleton, who you may know from the Cinemax series “Strike Back”, is the hero in this one. He plays a Greek general fighting off an invasion led by Eva Green, the bloodthirsty chick in charge of the Persian Navy.
Lena Headey from “Game of Thrones” is back from the first film as the Queen of the Spartans and widow of Gerard Butler’s character from “300”. Rodrigo Santoro is also back as the Persian’s god-like leader Xerxes.
This Dreamworks animation movie is about a talking dog who invents a time machine, and then goes back to ancient Egypt after his “adopted” human son changes history.
Ty Burrell from “Modern Family” is Mr. Peabody, Max Charles from “The Neighbors” does the voice of Sherman, and Ariel Winter from “Modern Family” is the girl Sherman was trying to impress when they screwed up the space-time continuum.
It also has a short film starring Rocky & Bullwinkle, since it’s based on the “improbable history” segments that ran on the classic “Rocky and His Friends” TV series.
A new Wes Anderson comedy with Ralph Fiennes as a hotel concierge infamous for sleeping with his elderly female guests . . . who’s framed for murdering one of them.
It’s got a huge cast, with a lot of the same people from other Wes Anderson movies, including Adrien Brody, Willem Dafoe, Edward Norton, Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray, and Owen Wilson.
Sneak Peek at Upcoming CD, DVD, Games, and Theatrical Releases
Theatrical Releases for Next Friday, March 14th:
• “Need for Speed“ . . . starring Aaron Paul and Dominic Cooper.
• “Tyler Perry’s The Single Moms Club“ . . . starring Nia Long and Amy Smart.
DVDs for Tuesday, March 11th:
• “Homefront“ . . . starring Jason Statham and James Franco.
• “Out of the Furnace“ . . . starring Christian Bale and Woody Harrelson.
• “Inside Llewyn Davis“ . . . starring Oscar Isaac and Carey Mulligan.
• “The Book Thief“ . . . starring Geoffrey Rush and French actress Sophie Nelisse.
Games for Tuesday, March 11th:
• “Titanfall“ on the XboxOne
• “Dark Souls II“ on the Xbox360 and PS3
CDs for Tuesday, March 11th:
• “Head or Heart”, Christina Perri
• “Lift Your Spirit”, Aloe Blacc
• The “Divergent” soundtrack
• “Sterolithic”, 311
• “The Truth”, Ledisi
• “The Take Off and Landing of Everything”, Elbow
• “Slow Me Down”, Sara Evans
• “King of Clubs”, Cowboy Troy
• “Rise of an Empire”, Young Money
• “Steve Martin & the Steep Canyon Rangers Live, feat. Edie Brickell”, Steve Martin
Are NBC and “The Tonight Show” Trying to Block Celebrities from Appearing on Other Networks?
TMZ claims NBC is trying to use JIMMY FALLON’S ratings as leverage to keep celebrities who want to be on “The Tonight Show” from doing shows on other networks . . . including the various morning programs.
Weekend TV Reminders:
• “The Trip to Bountiful” . . . Saturday from 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Lifetime. Cicely Tyson plays an old woman who escapes her unhappy life by returning to her old home town. Keke Palmer plays a military wife she befriends along the way. Blair Underwood and Vanessa Williams are also in it.
• “That Metal Show: Mick Mars”. . . Saturday from 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on VH1 Classic.
• “Saturday Night Live” . . . Saturday from 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. Lena Dunham guests hosts and The National performs.
• “Once Upon a Time” . . . Sunday from 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC. The show returns from its winter break with Emma and Henry having no memory of Storybrooke.
• “Resurrection” [Series Premiere] . . . Sunday from 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. People in a small town start coming back from the dead, with all the memories from before they died. The cast includes Omar Epps and Kurtwood Smith.
• “True Detective” [1st Season Finale] . . . Sunday from 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on HBO.
• “Catch a Contractor” [Series Premiere] . . . Sunday from 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Spike. Adam Carolla and a team of construction experts confront shady contractors and get them to make repairs for the homeowners they ripped off.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon” – Stephen Colbert and Broken Bells.
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” – Kenan Thompson, skaters Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski, and author Sarah Lewis.
• “Letterman” – Joan Jett & the Blackhearts. Plus: comedian Lenny Marcus.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Ellen DeGeneres and Tom Ford. Music Guest: Sky Ferreira.
• “Carson Daly” – Doug Benson and Justine Marino. Music Guest: NO.
• “Arsenio” – Mark Burnett, Roma Downey, and Diogo Morgado from “The Son of God”.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Aaron Paul. Andi Osho.
• “Chelsea Lately” – Michelle Dockery from “Downton Abbey”. (Repeat)
• “Bill Maher” – Mayim Bialik and Bill Nye the Science Guy. (Repeat)
Five Random Facts For Friday
1. Somewhere between 1% and 3% of people have a condition that makes them NOT LIKE MUSIC. It just doesn’t do anything for them.
2. In 1947, a plane carrying 11 people crashed over the Andes mountains in Argentina. Before crashing, they sent the word “STENDEC” in Morse code. The wreckage has never been found and no one knows what STENDEC means.
3. Two hundred years ago, there were approximately 978 million people on Earth. Today, there are more people than that JUST living in China and more people than that JUST living in India.
4. Wonder why OWEN WILSON is in basically every WES ANDERSON movie? They were roommates at the University of Texas in the early ’90s.
5. When “Top Gun” came out, Navy recruitment jumped 500%.
Three Mind-Blowing New Inventions: A Bacon Alarm Clock . . . Female Climax at the Touch of a Button . . . and an App That Ends Bad Dates
1. Oscar Mayer is releasing a BACON-SCENTED ALARM CLOCK for your iPhone. You put a little attachment on the bottom of your phone, and when it’s time to wake up, it releases the SMELL OF BACON. For now, the only way to get it is to enter a contest on their website. (Mashable)
2. A surgeon in North Carolina has cracked the ULTIMATE MYSTERY. He’s created a device that can be implanted in a woman . . . and it gives them a full-on CLIMAX at just the touch of a button.
It’s about to enter clinical trials in Minneapolis, so unfortunately it’ll be a few years until it’s available. (Beatbeat)
3. If you’ve ever asked a friend to call you during a date in case you need an excuse to get out of there . . . a new app called Tickle is automating the process. The app uses the iPhone’s accelerometer to sense your awkwardness on a date.
It monitors things like fidgeting or shaking your leg. And if it senses enough, it generates a FAKE PHONE CALL you can answer and use to escape. The app is coming soon . . . you can sign up for a waiting list now. (Tickle)
The Latest Fashion Trend to Make a Comeback Is . . . the Monocle?
According to the “New York Times”, the newest men’s fashion trend is . . . wearing a MONOCLE. Hardcore hipsters aren’t wearing thick glasses anymore . . . they’re just wearing ONE LENS attached to a string.
The Top 10 Signs Your Boyfriend or Husband Is High Maintenance
1. You throw a tantrum if you don’t get your way.
2. You expect a response to a text immediately.
3. You need to hear “I love you” several times a day.
4. You’re always late.
5. You spend longer in the bathroom than she does.
6. You spend a lot of time on your looks or appearance.
7. You won’t wear anything that isn’t designer.
8. You refuse to go camping.
9. You refuse to use public transportation.
10. You’ll only eat at nice restaurants. (FemaleFirst)
The Five Things You Should Never Order at Fast Food Places . . . According to Fast Food Employees
According to fast food employees, here are a few things you should NEVER order: Beans at Taco Bell . . . because they come out of a can like cat food and employees just add water. Chili at Wendy’s . . . because the meat comes from old unsold burgers. And roast beef at Arby’s . . . because before it’s cooked, it comes as a gelatinous mass of jelly with chunks of meat in it.
What’s Something You Want to Like, But Just Can’t?
What’s something you WANT to like, but you just can’t? Some of the most popular answers are: The beach . . . WOODY ALLEN movies . . . beer . . . weed . . . and “Game of Thrones”.
Peeing in the Pool Isn’t Just Disgusting . . . It Could Be Bad For You
According to a new study, peeing in the pool isn’t just disgusting . . . it might actually be BAD for you. Researchers found that when pee mixes with chlorine, it forms chemicals that can lead to respiratory problems, including asthma.
A Woman Is Suing Because She Was Hurt in a Fight Over a Free Sex Toy
HIGHLIGHTS: Back in January of 2011, a 46-year-old woman in Ireland went to a SEX TOY PARTY at a bar. And during the party, one of the saleswomen threw a free adult love toy into the crowd. The woman says the toy was, quote, “a ring that goes around a certain part of a man.” But as other women fought for the toy, she got rammed into a speaker and hurt her ribs. So now she’s suing the bar.
A Man Hires an Escort . . . Which Turns Out To Be His Son’s Girlfriend
A few years back, a 70-year-old man in Italy hired an ESCORT . . . and she turned out to be his 40-year-old son’s GIRLFRIEND. She’d told them she was a waitress. Since then, the relationship ended and the dad and son have been in a massive fight. The story just came out because the son has decided to SUE his father for damages.
Brandon T. Jackson is 30. Martin Lawrence’s son in “Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son”. You may also remember him as rapper Alpa Chino in “Tropic Thunder”, the horny goat dude in that “Percy Jackson” flick, and Duke in the Rock’s “Tooth Fairy”.
Dani Woodward is 30. Mattress actress who has starred in 187 fine films, including “Notorious S.L.U.T.”, “Big Bang Theory”, and “Appetite for Dysfunction”.
Laura Prepon is 34. Donna, the redheaded Amazon on “That ’70s Show”. And these days she’s playing caged heat on the Netflix series “Orange is the New Black”.
Jenna Fischer is 40. Pam on “The Office” and Owen Wilson’s wife in “Hall Pass”. Your husband or boyfriend would totally do her. And not just to get back at you for drooling over that slacker Jim every week. She and her husband . . . who is NOT Jim . . . are currently expecting their second child.
Peter Sarsgaard is 43. You might know him from “Jarhead”, “Kinsey”, “Garden State” or “Flightplan”. He has an illegitimate child with Maggie Gyllenhaal. And by the way . . . his character in “Orphan” was a total blockheaded WUSS.
RACHEL WEISZ is 44. She’s one of the witches in “Oz the Great and Powerful”, and sexy Evie Carnahan in “The Mummy” AND the “The Mummy Returns”.
(Her last name is pronounced “VICE”, in case you didn’t know.)
Wanda Sykes is 50. Slightly chubby Nubian lesbian comedienne from the now-canceled shows “Wanda at Large” and “Wanda Does It”. She was Biggie Shorty in “Pootie Tang”!
Bruce Prichard is 51. BROTHER LOVE from the WWF! Remember the ’80s? Remember Hogan-Warrior at WrestleMania Six? Remember Koko B. Ware?
Taylor Dayne is 52. Biggest hits: “Tell It to My Heart” and “Love Will Lead You Back”. Next biggest hit: Rock Bottom! APB on Taylor Dayne! Somebody look under Bananarama, Talking Heads, Lisa Lisa AND Cult Jam!
Freedy Johnston is 53. In 1994, “Rolling Stone” named him the Songwriter of the Year . . . over the newly deceased KURT COBAIN. Biggest “hit”: “Bad Reputation”.
Bryan Cranston is 58. Meth mastermind Walter White on “Breaking Bad”. He’s also in the upcoming “Godzilla” remake, which looks way better than that crappy Matthew Broderick version.
Franco Harris is 64. Pittsburgh Steelers legend. He made the “Immaculate Reception”. You can watch video from the original broadcast here.
Peter Wolf is 68. Lead singer of the J. Geils Band!) (Biggest hit: 1981’s “(Angel Is A) Centerfold”! Before that, they had a lesser hit with “Love Stinks”, which Adam Sandler resurrected in “The Wedding Singer”. Check out that clip here.
Michael Eisner is 72. Former Disney CEO.
Willard Scott is 80. Legendary bald weatherman from the “Today” show, AND the original RONALD MCDONALD!
Tammy Faye Bakker Messner (1942 – 2007) Heavily make-upped ex-“Surreal Life” superstar.
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 2 days to Daylight Savings
• 10 days to St. Patrick’s Day
• 10 days to Dancing with the Stars
• 25 days to April Fool’s Day
• 28 days to “Captain America 2″
• 1,050 days left of “Hope and Change”
138 years ago . . . In 1876, ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL received a patent for his TELEPHONE. I can’t imagine he was able to sell it. The damn thing didn’t have a single app.
117 years ago . . . In 1897, DR. JOHN KELLOGG served the world’s first “CORNFLAKES” . . . to his patients at a mental hospital in Battle Creek, Michigan.
103 years ago . . . In 1911, the United States sent 20,000 TROOPS TO THE MEXICAN BORDER as a precaution in the wake of the Mexican Revolution. By the way: A 10-pound bag of oranges only costs a buck at many freeway off-ramps.
81 years ago . . . In 1933, MONOPOLY was invented.
50 years ago . . . In 1964, Capitol Records was bombarded with requests for heavyweight boxing champ CASSIUS CLAY’S ALBUM, “I AM THE GREATEST”.
It was in big demand because of Clay’s defeat of SONNY LISTON the month before. Cassius Clay’s humble quote about his musical accomplishment: “I’m better and prettier than Chubby Checker.”
41 years ago . . . In 1973, “Dueling Banjos”, from the film “Deliverance” . . . went Gold! (Ned Beatty worked his ASS off making this movie. Literally! But, it was one of the OTHER actors who delved the deepest into Ned’s character.)
33 years ago . . . In 1981, the FIRST HOMICIDE at DISNEYLAND occurred when an 18-year-old ruffian-type hooligan was stabbed to death near the old Skyway. The guy might not have died, but Disneyland nurses refused to call an ambulance with those “scary” attention-getting red lights.
Instead, a Disneyland van drove through traffic to a nearby hospital . . . but by that time, the guy had bled to death. It’s the Happiest Place on Earth!
31 years ago . . . In 1983, TNN (The Nashville Network) went on the air! Since August of 2003, it’s been called Spike TV. Now it’s known for pro wrestling and mixed martial arts. So it has totally distanced itself from its redneck past.
29 years ago . . . In 1985, “WE ARE THE WORLD” WAS RELEASED! And I, for one, have been grateful to live over the past three decades in the hunger-free world that resulted! (???)
27 years ago . . . In 1987, MIKE TYSON defeated James “Bonecrusher” Smith to win the second leg of the Undisputed Heavyweight Championship. Mike Tyson is quite the movie expert, ya know. Enjoy video of Mike discussing his Oscar picks with Leonard Maltin here.
21 years ago . . . In 1993, “Diff’rent Strokes” superstar TODD BRIDGES was arrested for stabbing a fellow apartment tenant. (Somehow, he’s one of the few cast members from that show who’s still alive. Will he outlive Charlotte Rae???)
20 years ago . . . In 1994, AXL ROSE’S then-wife, Erin Everly, sued him for assault. FYI: Axl Rose has an average-sized package, but HUGE gonads.
20 years ago . . . In 1994, the U.S. Navy issued its first permanent orders assigning WOMEN to regular duty on a COMBAT SHIP . . . the U.S.S. Eisenhower.
15 years ago . . . In 1999, STANLEY KUBRICK died in England of natural causes, at age 70.
14 years ago . . . In 2000, country legend FRANK “PEE WEE” KING died in Louisville, Kentucky, at age 86.
Three years ago . . . In 2011, CHARLIE SHEEN was fired from “Two and a Half Men”.