Whatever 11.18.2014

Your daily dose of whatever!!!

SHOWBIZ HIGHLIGHTS - 1 of 4

1.  KENDALL JENNER denied that she's dating JUSTIN BIEBER . . . and she also dropped this ridiculous line:  Quote, "I'm not trying to use a family name or anything.  In reality I worked pretty hard for this . . . It wasn't like I just got it magically and it's just happened."  (Full Story)

2.  SOLANGE KNOWLES broke out in hives on her wedding night on Saturday.  She looked fantastic in her wedding photos, but apparently she broke out sometime during the reception.  Sources say it was probably some kind of food allergy.  (Full Story)

3.  CHARLES MANSON is 80 years old, locked up in prison, and a murderous DIRTBAG . . . but he's still getting married before you are.  His blushing bride is 26-year-old Afton Elaine Burton.  And yeah, she's obviously insane.  (Full Story)

4.  When BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH got engaged to his girlfriend earlier this month, a lot of women were CRUSHED.  But Benedict has a message for those women:  Quote, "Your ovaries do still have use, let me tell you!"  (Full Story)

5.  Sexy Pictures of Famous People

SHOWBIZ HIGHLIGHTS - 2 of 4

6.  Another woman has come forward accusing BILL COSBY of drugging and raping her.  She says it happened twice in 1969 . . . which coincidentally was the same year that he did a comedy routine about wanting to get his hands on some SPANISH FLY in order to get women in the mood.  (Full Story)

7.  JADEN and WILLOW SMITH say some pretty bizarre things in a new interview.  Like how you never learn anything in "normal school", and all the kids who go to them are "teenagery", "angsty" and "depressed".  And Willow said, quote, "There're no novels that I like to read so I write my own novels, and then I read them again, and it's the best thing."  (Full Story)

8.  This past weekend, Jacksonville Jaguars cornerback DWAYNE GRATZ got so TANKED that he tried to use BUBBLE GUM to purchase items from a store after realizing that he was out of cash.  He argued with the employee . . . and refused to leave until the cops came and arrested him.  (Full Story)

9.  NASCAR driver KURT BUSCH allegedly smashed his ex-girlfriend's head against a wall THREE TIMES after a bad race two months ago.  The woman is asking for a restraining order against him.  Kurt's lawyer says she's lying.  (Full Story)

10.  GIANCARLO STANTON and the Miami Marlins just agreed to a RIDICULOUS 13-year, $325 million contract.  That breaks down to an average of $25 million a season.  Not surprisingly, this is the most lucrative deal for a U.S. athlete, topping the $292 million deal Miguel Cabrera signed this spring.  (Full Story)

SHOWBIZ HIGHLIGHTS - 3 of 4

11.  JERRY SEINFELD and the rapper WALE have been friends for years . . . and there's an amusing new video online where Jerry jokingly freaks out because Wale wasn't included in "Complex" magazine's list of the best rap albums.  (Full Story)

12.  A list of "Things You Probably Didn't Know About 'Seinfeld'" includes:  It was originally called "The Seinfeld Chronicles" . . . it's amassed $3 billion in syndication royalties . . . and Jerry Seinfeld's least favorite episode is the one with the repeated line, "These pretzels are making me thirsty!"  (Full Story)

13.  TV Reminders and Late Night Guests

14.  New CD Releases and DVD Releases

15.  The DROPKICK MURPHYS canceled a show in Tulsa on Sunday . . . after their tour bus hit and killed someone near Austin, Texas at 3:00 A.M. that morning.  The band says, quote, "[The] pedestrian suddenly ran onto the highway in front of our tour bus.  Police suspect a suicide."  (Full Story)

SHOWBIZ HIGHLIGHTS - 4 of 4

16.  Music Notes:  A Christmas Song About Texting, a Lenny Kravitz Spoof . . . Plus New Songs By AC/DC and Smashing Pumpkins

17.  Urban Quick Hits:  J. Cole, Big K.R.I.T., and Faith Evans' Duets Album with Biggie

18.  GARTH BROOKS was asked for his take on streaming music services, and he decided to go off on YouTube.  He said, quote, "I'm telling you, the devil, YouTube.  They claim they're paying people but they're not paying anything.  They're getting millions and millions of views and they don't get squat.  Trust me."  (Full Story)

19.  FRANKIE BALLARD plans to celebrate "Sunshine & Whiskey" topping "Billboard's" Country Airplay chart by buying a vintage Plymouth Road Runner or Dodge Charger:  Quote, "Most of them have been redone and are fully restored and have modern suspension and drivetrains so they're daily drivers."  (Full Story)

20.  A woman at DIERKS BENTLEY'S concert in Utica, New York on Sunday was hit by falling debris.  A piece of metal from an old stage light fell from the ceiling and landed on her leg.  Sources are calling the injury "significant."  (Full Story)

21.  Showbiz Extras and Country Extras

SHOWBIZ SEXY - 1 of 3

Kendall Jenner Says She's Not Dating Justin Bieber . . . And That She Worked Really Hard for Her Modeling Career 

KENDALL JENNER is denying rumors that she's dating JUSTIN BIEBER.  In a new "Nightline" interview she said, quote, "He's a longtime friend of our family.  Everybody loves to assume things, but no [we're not dating]."

Elsewhere in the interview,Kendalltried out some material from her new standup comedy act.  At least that's what we assume she was doing when she said this . . . quote, "I'm not trying to use a family name or anything.

"In reality I worked pretty hard for this . . . It wasn't like I just got it magically and it's just happened."  (Check out some clips from the interview here.)

Showbiz Photo of the Day:  Solange Knowles Broke Out in Hives at Her Wedding Reception 

This had to suck:  SOLANGE KNOWLES broke out in hives on her wedding night in New Orleans on Saturday night.  She looked fantastic in her wedding photos, but apparently she broke out sometime during the reception.

Sources say it was probably some kind of food allergy.  Solange left the reception with her sister BEYONCÉ, who was trying to shield her face from the paparazzi.  They did manage to get a close-up, though.  (Despite the breakout, Solange says Saturday was the best day of her life.)

(Conversation Starter:  Wedding day nightmares are always a great topic.  Let's hear yours.)

SHOWBIZ SEXY - 2 of 3

Charles Manson is Getting Married Next Month 

If you've been unlucky in love lately, take heart:  If CHARLES MANSON can find himself a lady, so can you.  Charlie . . . an 80-year-old dirtbag who's been rotting away in prison for 45 years . . . is getting married.

His bride is 26-year-old Afton Elaine Burton.  And yeah, she's obviously insane, but she's kind of easy on the eyes.  (Here's a picture of her with Charlie.)

Charles andAftongot their marriage license yesterday, and plan on getting hitched next month. Aftonsays they can invite up to 10 people from the outside.

Benedict Cumberbatch's Message to Women Upset That He's Engaged:  "Your Ovaries Still Do Have Use" 

When BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH got engaged to his girlfriend Sophie Hunter earlier this month, a lot of women were CRUSHED.  But on "Live!  With Kelly and Michael" yesterday, Benedict had a message for them.

MICHAEL STRAHAN noted that some women took the news so hard, they worried their ovaries were no longer useful.  But Benedict said, quote, "I have a great population of fans as well . . . they're smart, they'll get around to the idea . . .

"Your ovaries do still have use, let me tell you!"  (Here's video.)

SHOWBIZ SEXY - 3 of 3

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

1.  MELISSA MCCARTHY has lost a good bit of weight.  Sources say she's dropped about 50 pounds, thanks to exercise and a healthier diet.

2.  Here are more of JULIANNE HOUGH's pictures from the new issue of "Shape" magazine.

3.  In case you were wondering, DEMI LOVATO is still happily gyrating about the waist with WILMER VALDERRAMA.

She posted a picture of him kissing her on the cheek, along with the caption, "I never post personal pictures like this but [eff] . . . He is perfect."

4.  AMBER HEARD is looking good in "GQ Russia".  In other news, there's a "GQ Russia".  (???)

5.  Is Photoshopping someone else's head on the KIM KARDASHIAN butt pic still funny?  If you think so, check out this version with ELLEN DEGENERES and PORTIA DE ROSSI.

6.  MACAULAY CULKIN isn't dead, but he might be soon if he doesn't change his habits.  Here he is smoking and carrying some In-N-Out Burger.

7.  (NC-17)  NICKI MINAJ posted 10 pictures from the shoot of her new video "Only".  Drake and Lil Wayne are in it . . . not to mention a hint of one of Nicki's NIPPLES.

SHOWBIZ NONSENSE - 1 of 4

(NC-17)  Another Woman Has Accused Bill Cosby of Drugging and Raping Her in 1969 . . . The Same Year He Joked About Spanish Fly 

HIGHLIGHTS:  Another woman has come forward accusing BILL COSBY of drugging and raping her.  She says it happened twice in 1969, when she was a 19-year-old aspiring comedy writer.  Meanwhile, an old routine of Bill's from 1969 is getting some play, because it's about him wanting to get his hands on some Spanish Fly in order to get women in the mood.

FULL STORY:  Another woman has come forward and accused BILL COSBY of drugging and raping her.  Her name is JOAN TARSHIS, and she says Cosby did it to her TWICE 45 years ago.

They met when she was a 19-year-old aspiring comedy writer who visited the set of "The Bill Cosby Show" in 1969.  Joan says Bill took her to his house and did what more than a dozen other women have accused him of doing.

He later contacted her and invited her to one of his shows, where he was going to do some material they'd worked on together.  After the show, Joan says he drugged and assaulted her again.

Joan says she didn't go to the police back then because she was AFRAID of Bill, and figured no one would believe her.  But she wanted to come forward to "lend credibility" to the other women who've accused him.

Continued . . .

SHOWBIZ NONSENSE - 2 of 4

(NC-17)  Another Woman Has Accused Bill Cosby of Drugging and Raping Her in 1969 . . . The Same Year He Joked About Spanish Fly  (continued) 

She added, quote, "Also, I've held this thing inside for so many years.  It's nice to finally release it."  (You can read about her allegations in more GRAPHIC detail here.  And here's video.)

The same year this allegedly happened, Bill released a comedy album called "It's True!  It's True!" . . . in which he does a routine about wanting to get his hands on some Spanish Fly, in order to get girls in the mood.  (Listen to it here.)

Jaden and Willow Smith Are Completely Out of Their Minds . . . And Apparently They Don't Go to School, Either 

HIGHLIGHTS:  JADEN and WILLOW SMITH say some pretty bizarre things in a new interview.  Like how you never learn anything in "normal school", and all the kids who go to them are "teenagery", "angsty" and "depressed".  AndWillow said, quote, "There're no novels that I like to read so I write my own novels, and then I read them again, and it's the best thing."

FULL STORY:  Have you heard the latest on JADEN and WILLOW SMITH?  They're COMPLETELY INSANE.  Either that or they're thinking on a level that's just too advanced for the rest of us to comprehend.

Continued . . .

SHOWBIZ NONSENSE - 3 of 4

Jaden and Willow Smith Are Completely Out of Their Minds . . . And Apparently They Don't Go to School, Either  (continued) 

In an interview with the "New York Times", they just said so many bizarre things it's hard to know where to begin.  But let's start with their feelings on SCHOOL . . .

Jaden says, quote, "School is not authentic because it ends.  It's not true, it's not real.  Our learning will never end.  The school that we go to every single morning, we will continue to go to.

"Kids who go to normal school are so teenagery, so angsty . . . You never learn anything in school.

"Think about how many car accidents happen every day.  Driver's ed?  What's up?  I still haven't been to driver's ed because if everybody I know has been in an accident, I can't see how driver's ed is really helping them out."  (???)

And Willow added, quote, "I went to school for one year.  It was the best experience but the worst experience.  The best experience because I was, like, 'Oh, now I know why kids are so depressed.'  But it was the worst experience because I was depressed."

Here's what Jaden had to say about TIME:  "I mean, time for me, I can make it go slow or fast, however I please, and that's how I know it doesn't exist.  It's proven that how time moves for you depends on where you are in the universe.  It's relative to beings and other places."

Continued . . .

SHOWBIZ NONSENSE - 4 of 4

Jaden and Willow Smith Are Completely Out of Their Minds . . . And Apparently They Don't Go to School, Either  (continued) 

Willowrevealed her very insular reading habits . . . quote, "There're no novels that I like to read so I write my own novels, and then I read them again, and it's the best thing."

And Jaden gave us this insight into BABIES . . . quote, "When babies are born, their soft spots bump:  It has, like, a heartbeat in it.  That's because energy is coming through their body, up and down.

"It's prana energy because they still breathe through their stomach.  They remember.  Babies remember."

Willowalso had a take on babies . . . quote, "When they're in the stomach, they're so aware, putting all their bones together, putting all their ligaments together.  But they're shocked by this harsh world."

And here's Jaden on how much better their music is than everyone else's . . . quote, "We don't think a lot of the music out there is that cool.  So we make our own music.

"We don't have any song that we like to listen to on thePacific Coast Highwayby any other artist, you know?"

(Jaden is 16 and Willow is 14, by the way.  Check out more highlights here.  And read the entire, mind-numbing interview here.)

TV QUICK HITS - 1 of 2

Watch Jerry Seinfeld Freak Out Because Wale Didn't Make a List of the Best Rap Albums 

JERRY SEINFELD and the rapper WALE have been friends for years . . . and there's an amusing new video online where Jerry freaks out because Wale wasn't included in "Complex" magazine's list of the best rap albums.

It's a joke, where Jerry acts FURIOUS and tells Wale to call the magazine and complain.  He tells Wale to drop a lot of N-words . . . because, quote, "then they'll know you're serious."

(The video has uncensored profanity early on, but the Seinfeld part is clean.  Skip to the :35 mark at this link.  Here's another video where they talk about strippers, one on hecklers, and one on fame.  They're ALL uncensored.)

Seven Things You Probably Didn't Know About "Seinfeld" 

HIGHLIGHTS:  A list of "Things You Probably Didn't Know About 'Seinfeld'" includes:  It was originally called "The Seinfeld Chronicles" . . . it's amassed $3 billion in syndication royalties . . . and Jerry Seinfeld's least favorite episode is the one with the repeated line, "These pretzels are making me thirsty!"

FULL STORY:  The website Shortlist.com has a rundown of "25 Things You Probably Didn't Know About 'Seinfeld'."  Here are seven highlights from the list.

Continued . . .

TV QUICK HITS - 2 of 2

Seven Things You Probably Didn't Know About "Seinfeld"  (continued) 

1.  It was originally called "The Seinfeld Chronicles", and the test audience response from the pilot wasn't too great.  Here are three pieces of feedback they received:

Quote, "You can't get too excited about two guys going to the Laundromat" . . . "Jerry's loser friend George is not a forceful character" . . . and "Why are they interrupting the stand-up for these stupid stories?"

2.  Nathan Lane and Steve Buscemi were both considered for the part of George.

3.  Megan Mullally and Rosie O'Donnell were both considered for the part of Elaine.  Megan later appeared in an episode as George's girlfriend Betsy.

4.  There are 180 episodes of "Seinfeld", which has led to over $3 billion in syndication royalties worldwide.  Also, Jerry Seinfeld turned down a $110 million offer from NBC to do a tenth season.

5.  Jerry's LEAST favorite episode is "The Alternate Side" . . . where Kramer gets a line in a Woody Allen film.  The line was:  "These pretzels are making me thirsty!"

6.  When he was 22, James Murphy of LCD Soundsystem was offered a gig writing for "Seinfeld", but he turned it down because he didn't think the show would be so big, and he wanted to continue with music.

7.  Jason Alexander wore clothes that were too small to make George appear uncool, while Michael Richards wore clothes that were too big to make Kramer appear laid-back.  (You can browse through all 25 in a slideshow, here.)

TV REMINDERS

Tuesday TV Reminders:

• A double elimination for "The Voice" live results . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC.

• "Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC.  Ward kidnaps his brother.  And Hayley Atwell guest stars in a flashback as S.H.I.E.L.D. founder Agent Peggy Carter.  Her spin-off series, "Agent Carter", premieres on January 6th.

Lou Ferrigno's son is also in it.  Lou Jr. plays a guy named Agent Hauer.

(You can preview Wednesday's schedule here.)

TODAY ON TV TALK SHOWS

Tonight's Late Night Talk Shows:

• "The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon" - Russell Brand, Brooke Shields, and U2.

• "Late Night with Seth Meyers" - Shaquille O'Neal, Eddie Redmayne (Stephen Hawking in "The Theory of Everything"), and social media expert Gary Vaynerchuk.

• "Letterman" - Charlie Day, stupid pet tricks, and the folk duo Hiss Golden Messenger.

• "Jimmy Kimmel" - Jason Bateman, Courtney Love, and People's "Sexiest Man Alive".

• "Carson Daly" - Cillian Murphy, and grunge-pop minx Colleen Green.

• "Conan" - Hilary Swank, comedian Jimmy Pardo, and white rapper Hoodie Allen.

• "Craig Ferguson" - Jane Lynch, and Metallica.

• "Jon Stewart" - Benedict Cumberbatch.

• "The Colbert Report" - Eva Longoria.

(You can preview Wednesday's late night schedule here.)

NEW MUSIC AND DVDS - 1 of 2

"22 Jump Street" and "Sin City: A Dame to Kill For" Are Out on DVD

Here's what's new on DVD today:

• "Sin City: A Dame to Kill For" . . . Jessica Alba returns as Nancy the stripper, Mickey Rourke's back as Marv, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays an unlucky poker player.  Bruce Willis is in too, even though his character died in the first movie.

• "22 Jump Street" . . . Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill go undercover at a local college.  Ice Cube, Nick Offerman, Dave Franco, and Rob Riggle are all back too.

• "If I Stay" . . . Chloe Grace Moretz from "Carrie" and the "Kick Ass" movies plays a girl having an out of body experience after a car accident leaves her in a coma.

• "And So It Goes" . . . Michael Douglas plays a cranky old man who's stuck taking care of his granddaughter for his son.  And Diane Keaton is a neighbor who takes an interest in him, despite the fact that no one else can stand to be around him.

• "Into the Storm" . . . A principal has to save his students when their town is hit by multiple tornadoes.  Richard Armitage from "The Hobbit" plays the principal . . . and Sarah Wayne Callies from "The Walking Dead" is one of the storm chasers.

• "The Wind Rises" . . . a Japanese-animated movie from the guy who did "Spirited Away".  Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays the guy who designed the Zero fighters used in World War II.  Emily Blunt is his girlfriend and John Krasinski plays his best friend.

NEW MUSIC AND DVDS - 2 of 2

"The Art of McCartney" Tribute Album is Up Against New CDs from Nickelback, One Direction, TV on the Radio, and Trisha Yearwood

• "The Art of McCartney" . . . a two-disc set of artists covering classic Beatles and Wings songs . . . including Heart on "Band on the Run", Sammy Hagar on "Birthday", Willie Nelson on "Yesterday", Alice Cooper on "Eleanor Rigby", Billy Joel on "Maybe I'm Amazed", and The Cure with Paul's son James McCartney on "Hello Goodbye".

Some of the other artists in the set are Bob Dylan, Def Leppard, Steve Miller, Yusuf, a.k.a. Cat Stevens, Brian Wilson, Harry Connick Jr., Chrissie Hynde, Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons, Roger Daltrey, Barry Gibb, and Smokey Robinson.

• "Four", One Direction

• "Seeds", TV on the Radio.  The video for their song "Happy Idiot" features Pee Wee Herman as a racecar driver suffering a nervous breakdown.

• "No Fixed Address", Nickelback

• "Brutal Romantic", indie pop minx Brooke Fraser

• "Dreamy Happy Sexy", the husband and wife duo Little & Ashley.  You may recognize Annie Little as the chick from the stop-motion commercials for the Kindle.

• "The Way", the British rock band the Buzzcocks

• "Pom Pom", Ariel Pink.  This is his first album without his band the Haunted Graffiti.

• "Nothing Has Changed", David Bowie.  The three-disc set has 59 tracks, arranged in reverse chronological order.  It begins with his horrible new song "Sue (Or in a Season of Crime)" and gets progressively better until it ends with his debut single, "Liza Jane".

• "Prizefighter", Trisha Yearwood.  It features 10 of her biggest hits and six new songs, including her Kelly Clarkson duet on the title track.

• "At Christmas", a holiday album from Sara Evans.

MUSIC QUICK HITS - 1 of 3

The Dropkick Murphys Canceled a Show After Their Tour Bus Hit and Killed Someone 

The DROPKICK MURPHYS canceled a show in Tulsa on Sunday . . . after their tour bus hit and killed someone nearAustin,Texas at 3:00 A.M. that morning.

In a long Facebook post, the band said, quote, "We were involved in a tragic and fatal accident when a pedestrian suddenly ran onto the highway in front of our tour bus.  Police suspect a suicide.

"We were left with a driver that has been severely shaken up by the accident, and a bus too damaged to continue ontoTulsa."  The band apologized, and said all tickets would be refunded.  They haven't announced a makeup date yet.

MUSIC QUICK HITS - 2 of 3

Music Notes:  Kristen Bell's Christmas Song About Texting, a Lenny Kravitz Spoof . . . Plus New Songs By AC/DC and Smashing Pumpkins 

1.  The a cappella group STRAIGHT NO CHASER has teamed up with "Frozen" star KRISTEN BELL to record a tongue-in-cheek new holiday song called "Text Me Merry Christmas".

Straight No Chaser member Randy Stine says, quote, "We wanted a Christmas song that spoke to how informal communication has become.  Kristen nailed every note and delivered the lyrics with the perfect comedic tone."  (Check it out.)

2.  Someone took LENNY KRAVITZ's song "Fly Away", and manipulated the lyrics, to the point where it ends up becoming a song about how much Lenny needs a Milky Way candy bar.

Part of the joke is the "lyric video" they made for the remixed song, which is intentionally cheesy, like a lot of fan-made videos on YouTube.  (Warning:  There are a few F-BOMBS that are only partially censored.  Here's the link.)

3.  AC/DC released the title track off their new album, "Rock or Bust", which comes out on December 2nd.  (It's on AC/DC's Vevo account, here.)

4.  Another new SMASHING PUMPKINS track is online.  This one is called "Tiberius", and it's off their new album, "Monuments to an Elegy", which will be out on December 9th.  (Check it out, here.)

MUSIC QUICK HITS - 3 of 3

Urban Quick Hits:  J. Cole, Big K.R.I.T., and Faith Evans' Duets Album with Biggie 

1.  J. COLE says his next album is called "2014 Forest Hills Drive", and it's coming out on December 9th.  In a Facebook post, he adds, quote, "This time I'm releasing no singles, just the album.  See you in three weeks."

He also included a seven-minute video, where he shows off his "old-stomping grounds."  Near the end, he says that he wants to reconnect with his small-town life and rediscover "real happiness" after being inHollywoodfor several years.

(Warning:  The video has uncensored profanity.  Here's the link.)

2.  BIG K.R.I.T. has a song on his new album called "King of the South", which could be considered a shot at T.I. since he's always calling himself the "King of the South."  T.I. even beefed with LIL FLIP over the title.

But he says it's not a dis . . . quote, "It's about being confident in what I do.  I don't think anybody should feel different about themselves . . . It's no disrespect.  I hope there's no ill will, because hip-hop is competitive.  But I'll stand by what I say."

3.  FAITH EVANS is going to record a duets album, with her dead husband THE NOTORIOUS B.I.G.  She says it'll feature "unheard" music from Biggie . . . and that it'll be like how Natalie Cole did posthumous duets with her dad, Nat King Cole.

She adds that the working title is "The King and I".  (Here's video of her talking about it.)

STUPID NEWS HIGHLIGHTS - 1 of 2

1.  Here are a few random facts for you.  Costco sells four times more hot dogs each year than all the Major League Baseball stadiums combined.  Big Bird was almost on the Challenger, but the suit couldn't fit.  And only 14 of the 47 U.S. vice presidents have gone on to be president.  (Full Story)

2.  According to a new survey, Dad is our LEAST favorite person to shop for at Christmas.  Kids are our favorite.  And 14% of married men plan to give their wife something kitchen-related . . . which might be fine, because 26% of women say they WANT something for the kitchen.  (Full Story)

3.  What's the weirdest Christmas present you've ever received?  Two of the best ones we've heard are a woman who got a box of lingerie from her 88-year-old grandmother in the hopes it would lead to a great-grandchild . . . and someone who got three identical wheels of cheese from three separate, unconnected people.  (Full Story)

4.  According to a new survey, the average woman has her best sex at 26, while the average MAN has his best sex at 32.  (Full Story)

5.  A new study figured out why you sometimes feel something special when you kiss someone for the first time . . . it's because the bacteria in your mouths are similar and compatible.  And you transfer 80 million bacteria for every 10 seconds of kissing.  (Full Story)

6.  A new study ranked the 87 most popular dog breeds based on things like cost, intelligence, health, and lifespan.  And the three best dogs in the world are the Border Collie, the Border Terrier, and the Brittany.  The worst are the Bulldog, Saint Bernard, and Great Dane.  (Full Story)

STUPID NEWS HIGHLIGHTS - 2 of 2

7.  A woman in Texas owns four pit bulls, and last month they killed her neighbor's beagle.  But now she's SUING those neighbors for $1 million, because she says THEY should've secured their dog better, she was injured breaking up the fight, and she's had fear and anxiety ever since.  (Full Story)

8.  A guy in a Santa suit robbed a post office in Australia on Saturday.  He demanded money, and the surveillance camera caught him shoving a bunch of cash into his red-and-white Santa sack.  The police are trying to track him down.  (Full Story)

9.  A woman in California tried to steal some hair extensions last week, but got her shirt ripped off as she was trying to get away, and ran off in just a hot pink bra.  Police also have a clump of her REAL hair that was pulled out as she was escaping.  (Full Story)

10.  A 22-year-old guy in Arizona texted his girlfriend he'd been KIDNAPPED last Thursday . . . but really he was just hanging out with some sketchy friends.  The police launched an all-out manhunt, and he was arrested for falsely reporting a kidnapping.  (Full Story)

11.  A 30-year-old guy from Utah recently tried an experimental treatment to cure his leukemia . . . where doctors injected him with a deactivated version of HIV to attack his cancer cells.  And it WORKED.  Earlier this month, they said he's cancer free.  And out of 30 patients who had the treatment, 19 are currently in remission.  (Full Story)

12.  An 11-month-old baby stopped breathing at a Walmart in Missouri last week . . . but fortunately, a 17-year-old girl who'd JUST learned CPR in health class was there, gave the baby CPR, and saved its life.  (Full Story)

STUPID NEWS - 1 of 7

Five Random Facts For Tuesday

HIGHLIGHTS:  Here are a few random facts for you.  Costco sells four times more hot dogs each year than all the Major League Baseball stadiums combined.  Big Bird was almost on the Challenger, but the suit couldn't fit.  And only 14 of the 47U.S. vice presidents have gone on to be president.

FULL STORY:  Here are some random facts for you . . .

1.  Costco's $1.50 hot dog-and-soda combo is so popular that the Costcos around the country serve 100 million hot dogs a year . . . that's four times more hot dogs than all of the Major League Baseball stadiums combined.

2.  Big Bird almost died in space.  Caroll Spinney, the puppeteer who plays Big Bird, was invited to fly on the Challenger as Big Bird to get more kids interested in NASA . . . but the costume couldn't fit, so he didn't go.

3.  Jimi Hendrix and Joe Pesci were in the same band in the 1960s . . . although about five years apart.  Early in both of their careers they played guitar for a band called Joey Dee and the Starliters.

4.  It's possible to be "de-knighted" inEngland. . . if you've committed a crime and are sentenced to at least three years in prison, the king or queen can de-knight you.  Five people have been de-knighted in the past century.

5.  Only 14 of the 47U.S.vice presidents have gone on to be president . . . and only six of those 14 were elected to a second term.

(Business Insider / CBC / Wikipedia / Slate / Wikipedia)

STUPID NEWS - 2 of 7

Dad Is Our Least Favorite Person to Shop For . . . And Five More Christmas Shopping Stats

HIGHLIGHTS:  According to a new survey, Dad is our LEAST favorite person to shop for at Christmas.  Kids are our favorite.  And 14% of married men plan to give their wife something kitchen-related . . . which might be fine, because 26% of women say they WANT something for the kitchen.

FULL STORY:  According to a new survey, 40% of people say their kids are their favorite people to shop for at Christmas.  And dads came in dead LAST.  Only 2% said their dad is their favorite person to shop for.  Here are five more stats from the survey.

1.  Overall, the top five presents we're planning to buy people are gift cards, clothing, toys, video games, and electronics.  54% of us are HOPING to get gift cards this year, and 45% want cash.

2.  The top three things men think women want are clothing, jewelry, and gift cards . . . and women think guys want gift cards, cash, and tools.

3.  14% of married men plan to give their wife something kitchen-related.  Which might sound like a bad idea . . . but 26% of women say they WANT something for the kitchen.  On the flip side, 31% of women think men want tools, but only 21% of men actually do.

4.  50% of kids will buy presents this year.  On average, they'll shop for four different people.

5.  32% of people who plan to shop on Cyber Monday will be doing it in person at a store . . . NOT online.  (Russell Research / Yahoo)

STUPID NEWS - 3 of 7

The Five Weirdest Christmas Presents People Have Received

HIGHLIGHTS:  What's the weirdest Christmas present you've ever received?  Two of the best ones we've heard are a woman who got a box of lingerie from her 88-year-old grandmother in the hopes it would lead to a great-grandchild . . . and someone who got three identical wheels of cheese from three separate, unconnected people.

FULL STORY:  Last year in my family's holiday gift exchange, I got a used windbreaker from a country club I'd never been to, or even heard of.  I don't even play golf.  That's a pretty weird gift . . . can you beat it?

"Reader's Digest" just asked their readers to name the weirdest Christmas gift they've ever received.  Here are five of the best ones . . .

1.  "A box full of lingerie from my 88-year-old grandmother, with a message that she hoped it would get her a great-grandchild."

2.  "A receipt showing that all my overdue book fines at the library had been paid off."

3.  "A box of gravel from the driveway."  Unfortunately we don't know the story behind this one.

4.  "A squishy, padded, black-and-white flowered toilet seat from my father-in-law."

5.  "Three identical wheels of cheese . . . but from three separate, unconnected people."  (Reader's Digest)

STUPID NEWS - 4 of 7

Women Have Their Best Sex at Age 26 . . . For Men, It's 32

HIGHLIGHTS:  According to a new survey, the average woman has her best sex at 26, while the average MAN has his best sex at 32.

FULL STORY:  Conventional wisdom says women have their best sex in their mid 30s, right?  It's supposedly when they hit the sweet spot of sexual confidence, body image, and a good committed relationship.  But a new survey says that's just not true.

There's a company in Atlanta called Love Honey that makes sex toys, and they asked 1,000 adults between the ages of 18 and 65 about their "sexual peak" . . . meaning when they had the best sex of their lives.

And based on their results, men have their best sex when they're 32.  While the average woman has her best sex when she's only 26 . . . six years BEFORE men.

People always used to say that men peak at 18, and women peak at 35.  Now . . . maybe not.

The survey also found the average man lost his virginity when he was 17, and the average woman lost hers at 16.

(Daily Mail)

STUPID NEWS - 5 of 7

The Special Feeling When You Kiss Someone For the First Time Is Because the Bacteria in Your Mouths Are Compatible?

HIGHLIGHTS:  A new study figured out why you sometimes feel something special when you kiss someone for the first time . . . it's because the bacteria in your mouths are similar and compatible.  And you transfer 80 million bacteria for every 10 seconds of kissing.

FULL STORY:  You know that special connection you feel when you kiss someone for the first time?  That deep, emotional feeling you think might be the seeds of true love?

It's not.  It's just the bacteria in your mouth saying, "Hey, this person's alright."

Researchers out of theNetherlandsjust released the results of a study on kissing, and found what REALLY goes on when you kiss someone for the first time.

Quote, "The first kiss serves as a useful mate-assessment function . . . and feelings of attachment.  Kissing may contribute in mate assessment and bonding via sampling of chemical taste cues in saliva."

In other words, since you're passing each other a LOT of bacteria when you mash your tongues together, your brain reacts better when the bacteria in both of your mouths are similar and can work together.

The study also found 90% of cultures worldwide tongue kiss . . . you transfer 80 million bacteria for every 10 seconds of tongue kissing . . . and people with similar bacteria in their mouths ARE more romantically compatible with each other.  (Microbiome Journal)

STUPID NEWS - 6 of 7

Border Collies Have Been Named the Best Dog in the World . . . Bulldogs Came in Last

HIGHLIGHTS:  A new study ranked the 87 most popular dog breeds based on things like cost, intelligence, health, and lifespan.  And the three best dogs in the world are the Border Collie, the Border Terrier, and the Brittany.  The worst are the Bulldog, Saint Bernard, and Great Dane.

FULL STORY:  Is there anything more inflammatory than telling someone their dog is a crappy breed?  Be careful what you do with the following information . . .

A new study ranked 87 of the most popular dog breeds from best to worst.  They based it on how much they cost . . . their intelligence . . . their health . . . their lifespan . . . and how easy they are to groom.

And the best dog in the world is . . . the Border Collie.  They're the most intelligent breed, they live an average of 12-and-a-half years, they're relatively cheap, and they're pretty easy to groom.

The rest of the top 10 dog breeds are:  Border Terrier . . . Brittany . . . Cairn Terrier . . . Welsh Springer Spaniel . . . English Cocker Spaniel . . . Cocker Spaniel . . . Papillon . . . Australian Cattle Dog . . . and Shetland Sheepdog.

The worst dog is . . . the BULLDOG.  They're one of the less intelligent dogs . . . only live an average of six years . . . have a ton of genetic health problems . . . and cost a lot to buy.

The rest of the bottom 10 dog breeds are:  Saint Bernard . . . Great Dane . . . Mastiff . . . Bullmastiff . . . Irish Wolfhound . . . Bloodhound . . . Chow Chow . . . Alaskan Malamute . . . and Boxer.  (Daily Mail)  (Check out a graphic that shows all the dogs here.)

STUPID NEWS - 7 of 7

A Woman's Dogs Kill Her Neighbor's Dog . . . Now She's Suing the Neighbor For $1 Million?

HIGHLIGHTS:  A woman inTexas owns four pit bulls, and last month they killed her neighbor's beagle.  But now she's SUING those neighbors for $1 million, because she says THEY should've secured their dog better, she was injured breaking up the fight, and she's had fear and anxiety ever since.

FULL STORY:  This woman might be the worst neighbor in the entire WORLD.  What she's done to her neighbors definitely puts YOUR rage over your neighbor's loud music into perspective.

Emerald White of Texas City, Texas owns four pit bulls . . . and she lives next door to a guy named Steve Baker, his family, and their beagle.

But Emerald's dogs got through a hole in the fence between her and the Bakers last month . . . and attacked and KILLED the beagle.  And now there's a lawsuit . . . but it's EMERALD who's suing.

She says the Bakers should've done a better job keeping the fence secure . . . she was seriously injured trying to get her dogs back . . . and she now suffers from fear and anxiety.  And she wants $1 MILLION.

Steve says, quote, "I can't believe it.  Everyone was telling me to sue her, but I decided not to because it won't bring [our dog] back.  I decided to let it go . . . now she's suing me for $1 million.  I just can't believe it."

(Galveston Daily News)

STUPID CRIMINALS - 1 of 3

Santa Claus Was Caught on Camera Robbing a Post Office

HIGHLIGHTS:  A guy in a Santa suit robbed a post office inAustralia on Saturday.  He demanded money, and the surveillance camera caught him shoving a bunch of cash into his red-and-white Santa sack.  The police are trying to track him down.

FULL STORY:  Santa has always had a tumultuous relationship with the post office . . . every year they flood him with letters from kids asking for stuff and offering NOTHING in return.  And now it's all come to a head.

Santa Claus himself walked into a post office inMelbourne,Australiaon Saturday morning.  Or maybe it was just a guy in a Santa suit.

The two women working there thought he was going to give them candy.  Instead . . . he demanded MONEY.

He was caught on the surveillance camera shoving a bunch of cash into his red-and-white Santa sack . . . then he took off.

The cops say he was driving a cream-colored Jeep with stolen plates, and he's about six feet tall.  For now that's all they have to go on.  (Mashable)

(You can see footage of the robbery on YouTube, search for Santa robs post office.)

STUPID CRIMINALS - 2 of 3

Police Are Searching For a Topless Woman Who Stole Hair Extensions

HIGHLIGHTS:  A woman inCalifornia tried to steal some hair extensions last week, but got her shirt ripped off as she was trying to get away, and ran off in just a hot pink bra.  Police also have a clump of her REAL hair that was pulled out as she was escaping.

FULL STORY:  I imagine it's hard for cops to find witnesses who can give detailed descriptions of small-time crimes.  But a woman randomly running through the streets shirtless in a pink bra . . . no one forgets something like that.

A woman went into a store called Hair Plus inSouth Sacramento,Californialast week, and asked to see their most expensive hair extensions.  But then she tried to run AWAY with them.

Luckily the owner tried to block the door.  Then they got in a fight . . . and the owner wound up ripping the woman's SHIRT off.  So she got away, but when she took off she was only wearing a HOT PINK BRA as she ran out the door.

The police are trying to track her down, and they do have her torn shirt . . . and, somewhat ironically, a clump of her REAL hair that was pulled out during the fight.

(CBS 13 - Sacramento)

STUPID CRIMINALS - 3 of 3

A Guy Told His Girlfriend He'd Been Kidnapped . . . So He Could Hang Out With His Friends

HIGHLIGHTS:  A 22-year-old guy inArizona texted his girlfriend he'd been KIDNAPPED last Thursday . . . but really he was just hanging out with some sketchy friends.  The police launched an all-out manhunt, and he was arrested for falsely reporting a kidnapping.

FULL STORY:  There are probably better strategies to get a night out with your buddies than THIS.  In fact . . . pretty much EVERY strategy is better than this.

22-year-old Justin Sarten of San Tan Valley, Arizona wanted to hang out with some SKETCHY dudes on Thursday night . . . so he started texting his girlfriend that he'd been KIDNAPPED.

She told his mom, who called the police.  And they launched an all-out manhunt for him.

Eventually they found him at a Walmart with three guys.  At first he said he HAD been kidnapped.  But he couldn't keep his story straight, and eventually admitted he'd gone with them voluntarily, and they gave him money to buy them cell phones.  (???)

None of that fully adds up, but it REALLY feels like a bunch of guys up to no good.  Anyway, Justin was arrested for falsely reporting a kidnapping.

(AZ Family / San Tan Valley)

BIRTHDAYS - 1 of 2

Nathan Kress is 22.  Freddie on "iCarly".

Damon Wayans Jr. is 32.  "Let's Be Cops" superstar and Coach on "New Girl".

Nasim Pedrad is 33.  Minx who left "SNL" to be on the Fox sitcom "Mulaney".

Fabolous is 37.  Young urban troubadour whose biggest hits include:  "Make Me Better", "Throw It In the Bag", and "Can't Let You Go".

Related Comedy:  Rapper Fabolous turns 37 today.  He plans on celebrating with his brothers Marvolous and Tromendous.

David Ortiz is 39.  Big Papi.  Boston Red Sox World Series hero and superstar.  I like him 'cause after any of his teammates hits a home run, he gives the dude a full-frontal man hug.  Boston is his (effing) city.

Chloë Sevigny is 40.  Oddly-sexy indie actress who performed actual fellahchio on camera, for the non-pornographic, artsy movie "Brown Bunny".  She recently played Bill Paxton's second wife, Nikki, on "Big Love".

Duncan Sheik is 45.  Singer of the smash hit "Barely Breathing".

Owen Wilson is 46.  Owner of the most phallic nose inHollywood.

Gary Sheffield is 46.  Retired Major League Baseball outfielder, and nephew of Dwight Gooden.  It'sGary's wife who's allegedly getting-it-on with R. Kelly in one of his sex tapes!

BIRTHDAYS - 2 of 2

Metallica guitarist Kirk Hammett is 52.  Sometimes he likes to kick little kids in the head with balloons during his concerts.  This is what it looks like.  (Video)

(Kirk is a HUGE horror movie fan and he's actually got a book called "Too Much Horror Business", which is about, quote, "Horror movie posters, toys, artwork, comic books, the whole thing.")

Kim Wilde is 54.  Annoying hit:  "Kids in America".

Kevin Nealon is 61.  Former "SNL" and "Weeds" clown-ass.  He told Happy Gilmore to SEND THE BALL HOME.

Dennis Haskins is 64.  Mr. Frickin' Belding on "Saved By the Bell".

JAMESON PARKER! is 67.  Superstar who WAS A.J. SIMON on "Simon & Simon"!

LINDA EVANS is 72.  Middle-aged minx.  Yanni, the long-maned, mustachioed, Greek Love God used to nail her anytime he wanted to!

Mickey Mouse is 86.  The new overlord of the "Star Wars" franchise and Marvel Entertainment.

Alan B. Shepard Jr.  (1923 - 1998) America's first man in space.

NOVEMBER 18th - BACK IN THE DAY

707 years ago . . . In 1307, WILLIAM TELL, an incredible crossbow marksman, shot an apple off his son's head.  Imprisoned for rebelling against Imperial rule, Tell escaped and killed the local governor, setting off the famous struggle for Swiss independence.

388 years ago . . . In 1626, ST. PETER'S BASILICA, the main church in the Vatican, was dedicated by the dazzling POPE URBAN THE EIGHTH.

112 years ago . . . In 1902, Brooklyn toy maker Morris Michton created the first TEDDY BEAR.  (The toy got its name from an incident involving Teddy Roosevelt.  He was on a hunting trip when he had the opportunity to shoot a large female bear . . . but decided not to kill the beast when he spotted her cubs nearby.)

86 years ago . . . In 1928, animator UB IWERKS drew MICKEY MOUSE for the first time.  He called the character "Mortimer."  Walt Disney's wumpty, Mrs. Disney, thought the name was too stuffy . . . she told Walt to change it to Mickey Mouse.

48 years ago . . . In 1966, U.S. ROMAN CATHOLIC BISHOPS did away with the rule against eating meat on Fridays.  Now they only avoid Friday meat during Lent.

36 years ago . . . In 1978, Satan's nephew, the Reverend JIM JONES, persuaded 900 of his followers to commit suicide in "Jonestown", in the jungles ofGuyana.  The members of the People'sTemple cult suicided by drinking Kool-Aid laced with cyanide.  DON'T DRINK THE KOOL-AID, MAN!

26 years ago . . . In 1988, RONALD REAGAN created the Cabinet position of DRUG CZAR, and signed a law allowing the death penalty for drug traffickers who kill . . . while at the same time, Ronnie's CIA was selling crack to black folk in the ghetto.  (ATTICA!)

14 years ago . . . In 2000, CANCEROUS ADMITTED SEX ADDICT MICHAEL DOUGLAS married CATHERINE ZETA- JONES.  He's older than her DAD.

Nine years ago . . . In 2005, ROBERT BLAKE was ordered by a civil court to pay Bonny Bakley's children $30 million, even though Johnny Law says he DIDN'T do the crime.  It's the exact same deal O.J. got.