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Whatever 9.4

Your daily dose of WHATEVER!!


Farrah Abraham Thinks Feminism is the Same as Lesbianism? 

FARRAH ABRAHAM was asked if she’s a “feminist”, and she replied, quote, “What does that mean, that you’re a lesbian or something?”

Simon Cowell Will Not Change Diapers 

SIMON COWELL has been talking lately about feeling “paternal” and being excited for the birth of his baby.  But he’s not excited about EVERYTHING.

One thing he’s not looking forward to is diaper changing.  He says, quote, “I’m not doing that, 100% absolutely not going near that!”

LeBron James’ Mom Is Dating a 31-Year-Old Wannabe Rapper 

LEBRON JAMES’ mother GLORIA is dating a wannabe rapper who calls himself DA REAL LAMBO.  He’s 31 years old, which means he’s only THREE YEARS older than LeBron, who’s 28.  Gloria is 44 or 45 years old.  Apparently this is all cool with LeBron, because there are pictures of him hanging out with the guy online.

Miley Cyrus Says Everyone is Over-Thinking Her “VMA” Performance 

MILEY CYRUS claims everyone is overreacting to her “VMA” performance, and says she “didn’t even think about it” when she was doing it.  But she totally contradicts herself when she says, quote, “You’re wanting to make history.  Me and Robin [Thicke] the whole time said, ‘You know we’re about to make history right now.’”

Princess Diana is the Celebrity We’d Most Like to Bring Back to Life 

According to a new poll conducted by “60 Minutes” and “Vanity Fair”, PRINCESS DIANA is the celebrity we’d most like to bring back from the dead.  And actually she was the runaway winner.

Diana got 35% of the vote, followed by STEVE JOBS with only 14%.  MICHAEL JACKSON and WHITNEY HOUSTON tied for third with 11%.

HEATH LEDGER got 9%, KURT COBAIN got 6% and JAMES GANDOLFINI got 3%.

Ryan Gosling and Justin Timberlake Once Lived Together . . . And Other Celebrity Roommates 

:  A list of celebrities who used to be roommates includes Ryan Gosling and Justin Timberlake . . . Judd Apatow and Adam Sandler . . . Lindsay Lohan and Raven-Symone . . . and Jonah Hill and Justin Long.

Ryan lived at Justin’s house when they were on “The Mickey Mouse Club” together, because Ryan’s mom couldn’t give up her job in Canada.

Here are some other pairs of celebrity roommates . . .

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck lived together while writing their Oscar-winning screenplay for “Good Will Hunting”.

Judd Apatow and Adam Sandler were roomies when they were struggling comics.

Lindsay Lohan and Raven-Symone roomed together for a brief period . . . but Raven says Lindsay was so busy with work she barely stayed there.  But she did pay rent, so it was cool.

Jonah Hill and Justin Long actually stopped living together because they were arguing about petty things.  It probably saved their relationship, though.

Dustin Hoffman lived with both Gene Hackman and Robert Duvall . . . but not at the same time.

It costs $150 to Meet Kourtney Kardashian? 

KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN did a meet-and-greet at the Mirage Hotel in Las Vegas over the weekend.  But what a lot of fans didn’t know when they showed up was that they had to pay $150 PER PERSON to meet her.

In fact, they were already in line for HOURS before someone came out and handed them flyers informing them of the fee.  Those who actually paid it said they were rushed in and out so quickly, it was barely worth it.

One woman who took her two kids to meet Kourtney was NOT happy.  She claims she even called the day before and was told she didn’t have to pay to meet Kourtney.  She says, quote, “Don’t they have enough money? . . . I’m not a fan anymore.”

People Are Already Whining About the “50 Shades of Grey” Casting 

People are already whining about the casting of CHARLIE HUNNAM and DAKOTA JOHNSON in the “50 Shades of Grey” movie.  But author E.L. JAMES Tweeted, quote, “To all the supporters, lovers and haters . . . thank you so much for the passion that you have for this project.  You all rock.  All of you.”

“True Blood” Is Ending After One Last Season 

HBO has confirmed speculation that “True Blood” will come to an end after one last season.  Season Seven will have 10 episodes, and will premiere sometime next summer.

“American Idol” Has Officially Announced Its New Judges 

After months of speculation, Fox has confirmed that the next “American Idol” judging panel will be:  KEITH URBAN, JENNIFER LOPEZ and HARRY CONNICK JR. . . . and that RANDY JACKSON will take over JIMMY IOVINE’S role as the “in-house mentor.”

Does Anyone Want to Watch a Show Where Vanilla Ice “Goes Amish”? 

The DIY Network has announced a new show called “Vanilla Ice Goes Amish” . . . where “Ice” heads to Amish country to build homes the old-school way, without electricity.  It’ll premiere on October 12th.

Wednesday TV Reminders:

“U.S. Tennis Open” [Quarterfinals] . . . 7:00 to 11:00 P.M. Eastern on ESPN2.

 

 

“Big Brother 15″ [Power of Veto competition] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.

 

 

“America’s Got Talent” [Results Show] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC.  iLuminate performs.  Music Guest:  Fall Out Boy.

 

 

“Inside the NFL” [35th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Showtime.

 

 

“The Lookout” [3rd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC.

 

 

“Hot in Cleveland” [4th Season Finale]. . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TV Land.  The ladies of “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” reunite with guests Mary Tyler Moore, Valerie Harper, Cloris Leachman and regulars Georgia Engel and Betty White.

 

 

“Top Chef Masters” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Bravo.  Ali Larter from “Heroes” is the special guest judge.

 

 

“It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia” [9th Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on FXX.

 

 

“The League” [5th Season Premiere] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on FX.

 

“Futurama” [Series Finale] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Comedy Central.

 

 

“Patrick Dempsey: Racing Le Mans” [Part 2 of 4] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Velocity.

 

 

“Ghost Mine” [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Syfy.

 

 

“I’m Having Their Baby” [2nd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Oxygen.

 

 

“Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell” [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on FXX.

 

Early Morning Show Guests:

 

“The Today Show”Valerie Bertinelli (“Hot in Cleveland”), “America’s Got Talent” judge Mel B., and designer Phillip Lim.  Music Guest:  Laura Mvula.

 

“Good Morning America” – The cast announcement for the new season of “Dancing with the Stars”.

 

“CBS This Morning”Queen Latifah (“The Queen Latifah Show”), NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, and Under Armour CEO Kevin Plank.

 

 

 

 

Mid-Morning Show Guests:

 

“Live! With Kelly and Michael”“America’s Got Talent” judge Mel B. and Zachary Quinto (Broadway’s “The Glass Menagerie”).  Music Guest:  Tamar Braxton.

 

“The View”“Jersey Shore’s” Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and Anson Mount (Cullen Bohannan on “Hell on Wheels”).  Marysol Castro co-hosts.  (REPEAT)

 

“Rachael Ray” – Organizer Peter Walsh and Buddy Valastro (“Cake Boss”).  (REPEAT)

 

This Afternoon On TV:

 

“Ellen DeGeneres”Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner (“The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2″), plus Kirstie Alley promotes her book “The Art of Men”.  (REPEAT)

 

“The Talk” – Numerologist Glynis McCants.  Music Guest:  Backstreet Boys.  (REPEAT)

 

“Katie Couric”Mary Tyler Moore, Valerie Harper, Betty White, Cloris Leachman, and Georgia Engel talk about the big “Mary Tyler Moore Show” reunion they just taped for “Hot in Cleveland”.  (REPEAT)

 

“Steve Harvey”Stacy Kaiser (documentary “Fatal Vows”) answers single mothers’ questions in regards to dating.  (REPEAT)

 

“Dr. Phil” – “Leaving Life in the Tunnel”.  “The Locator’s” Troy Dunn offers a homeless couple a chance at redemption.

 

“Dr. Oz Show” – “Charlie Sheen Sits Down With a Doctor for the First Time”.  Charlie Sheen (“Anger Management”) discusses his health.  (REPEAT)

 

“Wendy Williams” – The latest “Celebrity Apprentice” reject, Marilu Henner.  (REPEAT)

 

Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:

 

 

“Letterman”Tim Robbins (“Thanks For Sharing”) and Herm Edwards (ESPN’s “NFL Live”).  Music Guest:  Passion Pit.

 

 

“Jimmy Kimmel”Bill Hader (“The Awesomes”) and Richard Simmons.  Music Guest:  Alpine.

 

 

“The Tonight Show”Christina Applegate and Rob Corddry (“Childrens Hospital”).  Music Guest:  White Lies.

 

 

“Craig Ferguson”Brie Larson (“Short Term 12″) and Elijah Wood (“Wilfred”).

 

 

“Jimmy Fallon”Heidi Klum (“America’s Got Talent”) and Newark, New Jersey Mayor Cory Booker.  Music Guest:  The Julie Ruin.

 

 

“Carson Daly”Tom Brokaw and photographer Kevin Russ.  Music Guest:  The Coup.  (REPEAT)

 

 

“Conan”Katie Aselton (“The League”) and Mike Tyson (“Being Mike Tyson”).  Music Guest:  The Spin Doctors.

 

 

“Jon Stewart”No guests listed yet.  Check your local listings.

 

 

“The Colbert Report” – Author Piper Kerman (“Orange is the New Black”).

 

 

“Chelsea Lately”Music Guest:  John Legend.

STUPID NEWS

Only One in Six People Have Made a Sex Tape

According to a new survey, only about one in six people have ever made a sex tape.  13% of women and 18% of men say they’ve made a sex tape.  60% of the people who’ve made one say they saved it to watch again later.

(Adam & Eve)

Does Eating Wings Lead to Smaller Junk?

This past weekend was the National Buffalo Wing Festival in Buffalo, New York.  So PETA took the opportunity to explain how women who eat wings when they’re pregnant will have baby boys with SMALLER JUNK.  They’re talking about a chemical in chicken called phthalates . . . although chicken contains a lot less of those than processed foods.

(Women’s Health)

The Most Embarrassing Way to Die Is . . . on the Toilet

 What’s the most embarrassing way to die?  According to a new survey, the answer is . . . ON THE TOILET.  37% of people said they’d be most embarrassed to die on the toilet, which beat out dying during sex, eating fast food, choking on a pretzel, or slipping in the bathtub.

(CBS News)

Who Would You Be Most Willing to Give Your Life for . . . Your Kids, Your Spouse, or Your Country?

:  A new survey asked people which of five things they’d be MOST willing to give their life for:  Their kids, spouse, parents, country, or religion.  And people were FAR more likely to say their KIDS . . . and LEAST likely to say their country.  55% would give their life for their kids, versus 5% for their country.

(CBS News)

 

What Was Your Biggest Letdown When You Became an Adult?  Here’s the Top Eight

What was your BIGGEST LETDOWN when you became an adult?  Some of the more popular answers are:  Having to pay for everything . . . missing your summer vacation . . . still getting pimples . . . and all the stress and cost that comes with owning a house.

1.  You have to pay for EVERYTHING . . . even the stuff you didn’t know about, like insurance.

 

2.  You miss having an entire summer vacation.

 

3.  Just because you have a salary doesn’t mean you have a ton of money to spare.  You can’t just throw a thousand dollars around without thinking about it.

 

4.  You don’t stop having pimples.

 

5.  You don’t automatically become wise, mature, or rational.

 

6.  Having your own house isn’t as cool as it sounds.  The buying process is horrible, things are constantly breaking, and the whole thing costs a fortune.

 

7.  Even though you can buy and eat anything you want, you feel sick and get chubby if you eat a whole box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch every day.

 

8.  You realize how much your parents did for you, what an INGRATE you were . . . and no matter what you do now, you can’t fully make up for it.  (Reddit)

64% of Us Use Our Foot to Flush the Toilet in Public Bathrooms

According to a new study, 64% of us use our foot to flush the toilet when we use a public bathroom . . . 60% use a paper towel when we have to touch the door handle . . . and 48% use our hip to open the door.  And maybe that’s what you SHOULD be doing, because 70% of people surveyed admitted they don’t always use soap when they wash their hands in a public bathroom.

(PR Newswire)

A Woman’s Pet Chicken Ate Her Diamond Earring Right Off Her Ear . . . So Now She Has to Wait for It to Die to Get It Back?

Last month, a 38-year-old woman in England had her PET CHICKEN on her shoulder . . . and the chicken BIT OFF her diamond earring.  Now it’s lodged in the chicken, and an operation to get it out could potentially KILL it.  So now the woman has to wait until the chicken DIES to get her $460 earring back . . . and that could be eight more YEARS.

(The Telegraph)

Police Call Off a Massive Hunt For a Dead Body in L.A. . . . When They Realize It’s Just a Large “Simpsons” Doll

We don’t have a ton of details on this, but we really like the details we DO have.  Yesterday afternoon, a report went out on the police scanner in Los Angeles that a DEAD BODY was spotted in bushes along the side of a freeway.

There was a lot of area to cover, so the LAPD started a massive hunt for the dead body.  They even called in air support to help the search.

But it was all called off less than an hour later, when the officers found out it WASN’T a dead body . . . it was just a, quote, “large ‘Simpsons’ doll in the bushes.”  Unfortunately, we don’t know which “Simpsons” character it was.  (RMG News) 

Celebrity Birthdays

Whitney Cummings – 31  (Celebrity roasting comedian with a built-in porno name who can’t seem to keep a show on the air.)

 

 

BEYONCÉ – 32  (Somehow when nobody was looking, she and Jay Z became the king and queen of America.)

 

Related Comedy:  Beyoncé turns 32 today.  She’s requested that all guests at her birthday party leave the birthday presents “to the left, to the left.”  (Rim Shot!)

 

 

Max Greenfield – 33 (Schmidt on Zooey Deschanel’s show “New Girl”.)

 

 

Wes Bentley – 35  (Seneca Crane in “The Hunger Games”, Ricky Fitts in “American Beauty”, and Blackheart in the first “Ghost Rider” movie.)

 

 

LAWRENCE HILTON-JACOBS – 60  (Freddy “Boom-Boom” Washington on “Welcome Back, Kotter”!)

 

 

Jason David Frank – 40  (Tommy on the “Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers”!  He was the Green/White Ranger on the original, the Red Ranger for “Power Rangers Zeo” and “Power Rangers Turbo”, and the Black Ranger on “Power Rangers Dino Thunder”.)

Ione Skye – 43  (The chick John Cusack nailed in “Say Anything”.  She’s the daughter of “Sunshine Superman” superstar Donovan . . . AND . . . she used to nail Adam Horovitz of the Beastie Boys ANYTIME SHE WANTED TO!)

 

 

Mike Piazza – 45  (Retired MLB catching stud.)

Damon Wayans – 53  (He IS Blankman!)

 

 

Kim Thayil – 53  (Soundgarden guitarist.)

 

 

Dr. Drew Pinsky – 55

 

 

Khandi Alexander – 56  (She was the extremely sexy Nubian Medical Examiner, Dr. Alexx Woods, on “C.S.I.: Miami”.  Now she’s on HBO’s post-Katrina show “Treme”.)

 

 

Tom Watson – 64  (Legendary golfer.)

 

 

Merald “Bubba” Knight – 71  (One of Gladys Knight’s Pips.   He’s also her brother.) 

 

 

(Nepotism in the Pips?  No wonder so many people say that PIPPIN’ AIN’T EASY.)

 

 

Paul Harvey – Would have been 95 – (1918 – 2009)  (Radio legend.)

 

 

Dick York – (1928 – 1992)  (The FIRST Darrin on “Bewitched”.   Darrin #2 was Dick Sargent.  Sadly, both Dicks are in the dirt.)

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• 4 days until Grandparents Day

• 15 days to Talk Like a Pirate Day

• 23 days to Native American Day

• 42 days until Boss’s Day

• 57 days until Halloween

• 1,234 days left of “Hope and Change”

Back in the day…

232 years ago . . . in 1781 – LOS ANGELES was founded by Spanish settlers.

 

 

56 years ago . . . in 1957 - Ford began selling the EDSEL.  It was taken off the market two years later.

 

 

56 years ago . . . in 1957 - Governor Orval Faubus defied a Federal court order and called out the National Guard to keep nine black students from attending Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas.  His LAME excuse . . . he was trying to, quote, “preserve the peace”.

 

 

46 years ago . . . in 1967 - CBS cancelled “Gilligan’s Island”.  It ran for 98 episodes over three seasons.  Your kids have probably never watched a single episode of this.  Or “The Brady Bunch”.  For some reason, doesn’t that seem kind of sad???

 

 

41 years ago . . . in 1972 - At the Munich Olympics, MARK SPITZ became the first Olympian to ever win SEVEN GOLD MEDALS.  His seventh medal was for the 400-meter medley swimming relay.  (Sadly for him, Michael Phelps DRANK HIS MILKSHAKE.)

 

 

20 years ago . . . in 1993 - One-handed Yankees pitcher JIM ABBOTT pitched A NO-HITTER against the Cleveland Indians.  Abbott was born without a right hand.

 

 

11 years ago . . . in 2002 – KELLY CLARKSON became your first “American Idol”.  And to this day, she’s still one of the few contestants . . . winner or otherwise . . . who actually MADE IT.

 

 

10 years ago . . . in 2003 - A 22-year-old American stud named Keegan Reilly became the FIRST PARAPLEGIC to ever reach the top of MOUNT FUJI.  Reilly is paralyzed from the waist down and used a hand-powered quadricycle to make the ascent.

 

 

7 years ago . . . in 2006 - “Crocodile Hunter” STEVE IRWIN died after his chest was pierce by a stingray’s barb.

10 Year Flashback:  Who Will Be the Next Batman? . . . and Flash-Forward to Today’s Perspective on the Christian Bale Trilogy

 

 

Our Flashback section features a story we were talking about on The Complete Sheet 10 years ago to this day.  We’ve also added some modern perspective to give these stories some context today.

 

 

Flashback to 2003:  Who Will Be the Next Batman?

 

 

Several actors are being called in to test for the lead role in the upcoming “Batman” movie . . . and some of them are pretty bizarre.

Topping that list would be the BUBBLE BOY himself, JAKE GYLLENHAAL.  And he’s apparently the FRONT RUNNER.

We’re also hearing rumors about Billy Crudup, Joshua Jackson, Christian Bale, Cillian Murphy, and Henry Cavill.

 

 

Today’s Perspective . . . Jake Gyllenhaal Did Not Get the Part

 

 

Jake Gyllenhaal has come a long way since he was the BUBBLE BOY . . . but that path didn’t include a stint as Batman.

 

 

Obviously, Christian Bale got the part and starred in all three parts of the most recent Batman trilogy.

 

 

It’s worth mentioning that Cillian Murphy played The Scarecrow, who was one of the villains in “Batman Begins”.  And Henry Cavill did EVENTUALLY get a superhero role, as Superman in “Man of Steel”.

 

 

Oh, and let’s not forget that we already have yet another new Batman.  And his name is BEN AFFLECK.

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