Whatever 9.29
Your daily dose of Whatever!!
George Clooney is Married
GEORGE CLOONEY and AMAL ALAMUDDIN got married Saturday night in Venice, Italy . . . in a weekend-long celebration attended by Matt Damon, Bono, John Krasinski and his wife Emily Blunt, Cindy Crawford, Rande Gerber, Ellen Barkin and Bill Murray.
Gerber was reportedly the best man, and for some reason Julia Roberts wasn't able to attend.
A source says George and Amal held hands as they recited vows they wrote themselves.
After the ceremony, guests celebrated until well into the morning. The menu included lobster, sea bass, beef, and risotto. There's no confirmation on the rumor we heard last week that LANA DEL REY was going to sing.
More Stolen Celebrity Photos Have Been Posted, Including Anna Kendrick and Cara Delevingne
More celebrity photos leaked over the weekend. The latest round of victims include Anna Kendrick, Cara Delevingne, volleyball minx Misty May-Treanor and Brook Burns.
There aren't any NUDES of Anna, but there are some where she's showing major cleavage, and one where it looks like she's about to make out with another woman. (Who MIGHT be Jennifer Lawrence. But maybe not.)
Misty May-Treanor shows full-on backside . . . while some of the Cara Delevingne pics are graphic crotch shots.
Snooki's Second Kid Has Finally Descended from Her Baby Chute
SNOOKI gave birth to a daughter early Friday morning, and her name is Giovanna Marie. On Saturday, Snooki Tweeted, quote, "Motherhood is just not sexy. Sore nipples, wearing Depends, taking stool softeners, and chugging prune juice."
It's unclear if Snooki and Jionni had PREGNANT SEX to help jar the girl out of Snooki's womb. Last week, she said she REALLY wanted the baby out, and had tried everything to get her labor started quicker . . . including working out, eating spicy food and even, quote, "galloping like a horse."
Chelsea Clinton Had a Baby Girl
BILL and HILLARY CLINTON became grandparents on Friday evening. CHELSEA CLINTON gave birth to a baby girl, who she named Charlotte. This is the first child for her and her husband Marc.
Chelsea Tweeted, quote, "Marc and I are full of love, awe and gratitude as we celebrate the birth of our daughter, Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky." She also added a photo of her holding the baby.
Sexy Pictures of Famous People
1. (PG-13) BEYONCÉ performed with JAY Z this weekend at something called the Global Citizen Festival in New York City, and her top TOTALLY FAILED at its job. Unless its job was to EXPOSE BEYONCÉ'S BREASTS TO THE WORLD.
(WARNING!!! The video contains unbleeped profanity. Sadly, Beyoncé's nipples are CENSORED. They make their appearance at the 2:20 mark. Here's a pic.)
2. Sometime before Mama June and Sugar Bear from "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" announced their split, Sugar Bear was partying with some young women at a bar in Macon, Georgia. One of them was celebrating her 21st birthday, and they asked Sugar Bear to hang with them.
3. So KANYE WEST puts his hand exactly where you would if you were with KIM KARDASHIAN.
4. Check out this newspaper photo of JOHN MAYER when he was 17. He'd just graduated from high school and was asked about his future plans.
He told them, quote, "I know that school never did anything for me. It never made sense to me. I knew when I was 13 what I wanted to do . . . to be a musician."
5. Former "Boy Meets World" minx MAITLAND WARD went to the Long Beach Comic Expo dressed as Red Sonja. Well, PARTIALLY-dressed as Red Sonja.
6. (NC-17) When the A's made the playoffs, there was a locker room celebration . . . featuring a little too much of outfielder JOSH REDDICK's downstairs anatomy.
7. Whether you consider her a "burlesque performer" or a "stripper", you have to admit, it's kind of fun to watch DITA VON TEESE do her job.
8. Everybody's wondering what's going on with JERMAINE JACKSON's hair in this picture. I think we should be equally concerned about what's going on with his face.
Jennifer Lopez and Leah Remini Got Rear-Ended by a Drunk Driver
JENNIFER LOPEZ and LEAH REMINI were rear-ended by a drunk driver in a pickup truck Saturday when they went out for lunch with J-Lo's 6-year-old twins and Leah's 10-year-old daughter. The guy took off, but they called 911 and police caught up to him. Nobody was injured.
Denzel Washington's "The Equalizer" Was #1 at the Box Office
"The Equalizer" had a solid opening weekend at the box office, easily taking the #1 spot with $35 million. That's the fourth biggest September debut of all time . . . and the third best opening of DENZEL WASHINGTON'S career.
(Denzel's two best opening weekends were from "American Gangster" and "Safe House" . . . which opened with $56 million and $54 million, respectively.)
The stop-motion animated movie "The Boxtrolls" was the weekend's other big release. It made $17.3 million in 3rd place. Here are this week's Top 10 movies:
1. NEW: "The Equalizer", $35 million.
2. "The Maze Runner", $17.5 million. Up to $58 million in its 2nd week.
3. NEW: "The Boxtrolls", $17.3 million.
4. "This is Where I Leave You", $7 million. Up to $22.6 million in its 2nd week.
5. "Dolphin Tale 2", $4.8 million. Up to $33.7 million in its 3rd week.
6. "No Good Deed", $4.6 million. Up to $46.6 million in its 3rd week.
7. "A Walk Among the Tombstones", $4.2 million. Up to $20.9 million in its 2nd week.
8. "Guardians of the Galaxy", $3.8 million. Up to $319 million in its 9th week.
9. "Let's Be Cops", $1.5 million. Up to $79.6 million in its 7th week.
10. "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", $1.45 million. $187 million in its 8th week.
Monday TV Reminders:
• "Monday Night Football" . . . 8:30 to 11:30 P.M. Eastern on ESPN. The Kansas City Chiefs host the New England Patriots.
• "Dancing with the Stars" . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.
• "The Voice" blind auditions . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC.
• "iHeartRadio Music Festival" [Part 1 of 2] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on the CW. Highlights from the Las Vegas concert include Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Motley Crue, Coldplay, Nicki Minaj, Usher, Bastille, and the Zac Brown Band.
• The second season premiere of "Mom" . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.
• The sixth season premiere of "NCIS: Los Angeles" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS.
• The seventh season premiere of "Castle" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC.
Tonight's Late Night Talk Shows:
• "The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon" - Ben Affleck, Kate Walsh, and Tony Bennett.
• "Late Night with Seth Meyers" - Rosamund Pike, Michael Che, and Colony House.
• "Letterman" - Neil Patrick Harris, Jamie Oliver, and Aretha Franklin.
• "Jimmy Kimmel" - Jennifer Love Hewitt, Clark Gregg, and Clean Bandit.
• "Carson Daly" - Sara Schaefer, Hellogoodbye, and Neil Harbisson.
• "Conan" - Ben Kingsley, Al Madrigal, and Kenny Chesney.
• "Craig Ferguson" - Jim Gaffigan, and Wolfgang Puck.
• "Jon Stewart" - Hadi al Bahra.
• "The Colbert Report" - Jamie Oliver.
Five Random Facts For Monday
1. The odds of hitting a DEER when you drive in West Virginia are one in 39 . . . that's the highest in the country. You have the lowest odds of hitting a deer in Hawaii, one in 10,281.
2. A recent study just found the more someone posts about their relationship on Facebook, the more INSECURE they are about their significant other's feelings.
3. Cows hate the sound of a cowbell . . . it hurts their sensitive ears.
Related Comedy: Scientists say cows don't actually enjoy cowbells. Fascinating. By the way, fellas, how's that cure for Ebola coming? (Tweet This)
4. Instant replay started at the 1960 Winter Olympics in Squaw Valley, California. Judges asked CBS if they could review the tape of the event to see if a skier had missed a gate on the slalom . . . and that gave CBS the idea to show replays.
5. One in 18 men and one in 50 women have a THIRD NIPPLE.
(Yahoo Autos / Sage Journals / Quartz / Wikipedia / Wikipedia)
Couples Who Meet Online Are More Likely to Break Up
A new study found couples who meet online or through a dating app are more likely to break up. The theory is that it's too easy to meet someone online . . . so people put less thought into whether they really have long-term potential with someone before they dive into a relationship.
(Playboy / Daily Mail)
You Can Now Dress Up as the Three-Breasted Woman For Halloween
Last week, a 21-year-old woman in Florida made the news when she claimed she had a THIRD BREAST implanted. And even though it was a hoax, a website put together a guide for how to dress up as a three-breasted woman for HALLOWEEN.
The Sexy "Frozen" Halloween Costumes Have Arrived . . . Including a Sexy "Olaf the Snowman" Costume?
A costume company created some sexy "Frozen" costumes . . . including a sexy women's "Olaf the Snowman" costume. They also have sexy Anna and Elsa costumes, but they've temporarily pulled them off their website . . . possibly because they're unauthorized by Disney.
(Tres Sugar / Yandy) (Here are photos of the costumes.)
The State of Kansas Is Auctioning Off Thousands of Sex Toys Because It Desperately Needs Money
Kansas has a massive deficit, and to raise some money, they're auctioning off items they've taken in tax seizures . . . including thousands of SEX TOYS they seized from a company that owed $164,000 in back taxes. The auction is online and ends tomorrow.
An FAA Employee Set a Fire That Caused Tons of Flight Delays . . . Because He Was Mad About Being Transferred to Hawaii?
A 36-year-old FAA employee in Illinois set an air traffic control center on fire Friday morning . . . because he was upset he was being transferred to HAWAII. Hundreds of flights were delayed or cancelled all weekend long . . . and the guy is facing 20 years in prison.
A UPS Employee Steals a $160,000 Diamond Out of a Package . . . and Trades It For $20 of Weed
A 20-year-old UPS worker in Arizona stole a $160,000 diamond out of a package last month, but didn't realize how valuable it was . . . so he traded it for $20 worth of WEED. The cops eventually traced it back to him, recovered the diamond, and arrested him for felony theft. He's facing a minimum of three years in prison.
Kevin Durant is 26. Oklahoma City Thunder forward who's won three NBA scoring titles.
Calvin Johnson is 29. Detroit Lions wide receiver who holds the record for most receiving yards in a season.
Zachary Levi is 34. Flynn Rider in "Tangled", Thor's buddy Fandral in "Thor: The Dark World", and Chuck Bartowski on NBC's spy comedy "Chuck".
Mackenzie Crook is 43. The guy in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies who keeps losing his fake eye. You might also remember him as Gareth Keenan on the British version of "The Office".
Natasha Gregson Wagner is 44. Former minx. She's the daughter of Robert Wagner and Natalie Wood's pungent genitalia.
Erika Eleniak is 45. "Baywatch" minx who played Elly May Clampett in the horrendous movie version of "The Beverly Hillbillies".
JILL WHELAN! is 48. Little Vickie Stubing on "The Love Boat", and the critically injured little girl who's almost killed by a flight attendant's inspirational song in "Airplane!".
Les Claypool is 51. Singer and bassist for Primus. (He plays a backwoods preacher in a horror flick called "Pig Hunt". Check out the trailer here.)
Andrew "Dice" Clay is 57. He surfaced out of nowhere to play himself on the final season of "Entourage". And speaking of popping up in strange places, he's also in Woody Allen's movie, "Blue Jasmine".
Mark Farner is 66. Singer in Grand Funk Railroad. He actually left the band in 1998, but they replaced him and moved on.
Bryant Gumbel is 66. Loves white women.
Mike Post is 70. Genius who wrote the theme songs to "The Rockford Files", "Hill Street Blues", all three "Law & Order" series, "Magnum P.I.", "Quantum Leap", "Riptide" . . . "THE A-TEAM" . . . AND . . . "THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO".
Ian McShane is 72. Al Swearengen on "Deadwood" and Blackbeard in the fourth "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie, "On Stranger Tides".
Jerry Lee Lewis is 79. "The Killer". At age 22, Jerry Lee dabbled in inter-family taboo love and married his 13-year-old COUSIN . . . who was his THIRD WIFE.
Jerry Lee's first marriage was to a 17-year-old when he was 16 . . . and in the EIGHTH GRADE. In 2005, he divorced wife number SIX.
Gene Autry (1907 - 1998) The Singing Cowboy with FIVE STARS on the Hollywood Walk of Fame . . . one for each of the five categories: Radio, TV, Movies, Records and Live Performances. He's been in the Country Hall of Fame since 1969.
Madeline Kahn (1942 - 1999) Very saucy minx from many Mel Brooks movies including "Blazing Saddles", "High Anxiety", and "Young Frankenstein". She died of the coochie-cancer.
Larry Linville (1939 - 2000) Anal Major Frank Burns on "M*A*S*H". He used to nail Hot-Lips Houlihan REAL GOOD.
Miguel de Cervantes (1547 - 1616) Spanish genius who wrote "Don Quixote".
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 3 days to Int'l Day of Non-Violence
• 6 days to World Teachers Day
• 17 days to World Food Day
• 32 days to Halloween
• 34 days to Daylight Saving Ends
• 844 days left of "Hope and Change"
225 years ago . . . In 1789, Congress established the modern U.S. ARMY. The War Department set up this "army" with the strength of SEVERAL HUNDRED MEN!
98 years ago . . . In 1916, JOHN D. ROCKEFELLER'S wealth made him the first American BILLIONAIRE . . . in 1916 dollars!
64 years ago . . . In 1950, the TELEPHONE ANSWERING MACHINE was created by Bell Laboratories!
38 years ago . . . In 1976, "Alice" debuted on CBS.
38 years ago . . . In 1976, JERRY LEE LEWIS celebrated his birthday by popping off a few rounds on his .357 Magnum. Unfortunately for his bass player, Butch Owens, two of those rounds landed in his CHEST.
Amazingly, Owens survived and Jerry Lee was only charged with setting off a firearm within city limits.
36 years ago . . . In 1978, PJP 1 . . . POPE JOHN PAUL THE FIRST . . . was found DEAD in his Vatican apartment just 34 days after becoming the 263rd leader of the Roman Catholic Church. Rumors persist about his having been poisoned.
32 years ago . . . In 1982, the TYLENOL POISONER claimed his first victims. There were a total of seven deaths in the Chicago area over a two-day period before authorities determined that Extra-Strength Tylenol capsules had been LACED WITH CYANIDE.
A suspect for the murders was never found, but the tragedy led to the introduction of SAFETY SEALS on most consumer products.
30 years ago . . . In 1984, "Let's Go Crazy", by PRINCE, hit #1 on the singles chart.
29 years ago . . . In 1985, "MacGyver", starring RICHARD DEAN ANDERSON, debuted on ABC!
28 years ago . . . In 1986, "Airwolf", with I Used To Be Sexy Superstar JAN MICHAEL VINCENT But Now I'm Just A Stinking Drunk, moved to the USA Network!
28 years ago . . . In 1986, "Designing Women", starring BBW chubbies DELTA BURKE and JEAN SMART, debuted on CBS! It lasted eight seasons. When I watched them, I usually only lasted eight seconds! I LOVE THE CHUBBIES!
25 years ago . . . In 1989, ZSA ZSA GABOR was convicted of slapping a Beverly Hills cop after she was pulled over and caught with an open container of ALCOHOL and driving without a license. She ended up serving three days in jail.
24 years ago . . . In 1990, "Millie's Book", written by very sexy FIRST LADY BARBARA BUSH, became a non-fiction best seller. The book depicts life at the White House during the Bush Administration from a dog's point of view.
21 years ago . . . In 1993, WILLIE NELSON was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame.
21 years ago . . . In 1993, "Grace Under Fire" debuted, starring Brett "Under the Influence" Butler.
16 years ago . . . In 1998, "Felicity", starring the thick-maned KERI RUSSELL, debuted on the WB.
15 years ago . . . In 1999, large genital'd VICE PRESIDENT AL GORE abruptly moved his presidential campaign headquarters from Washington, D.C., to Nashville in order to get "out of the Beltway and into the heartland" . . . whatever that means.
13 years ago . . . In 2001, JENNIFER LOPEZ married her 2nd husband, CRIS JUDD. They were divorced in January of 2003.
(That failed marriage gave way to her failed engagement to Ben Affleck. And that gave way to her marriage to Marc Anthony . . . which has now failed too.)
Nine years ago . . . In 2005, JOHN G. ROBERTS, JR. was confirmed and sworn in as Chief Justice of the United States.
Eight years ago . . . In 2006, MARK FOLEY resigned from Congress after getting busted sending naughty emails and instant messages to underage teenagers who served as Congressional pages.
Eight years ago . . . In 2006, WEEZER SUED MILLER BREWING COMPANY for using the band's name without permission in ads they placed in three issues of "Rolling Stone" back in 2004.
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