Your daily dose of Whatever!!
The Octomom Got Two Years Probation for Welfare Fraud
The Octomom, NADYA SULEMAN, pleaded no contest to one count of misdemeanor welfare fraud yesterday in Los Angeles. A judge gave her 200 hours of community service, two years probation, and a small fine. Which isn’t bad considering she was originally facing four FELONY counts, and more than SIX YEARS in jail.
Lindsay Lohan Wants to Move to London . . . Because They’re Not Obsessed with Celebrities There?
LINDSAY LOHAN makes her stage debut in London this October, and says she’s now thinking of MOVING there. It’s partly because she thinks she has a better chance of being seen as a legitimate actress over there . . . and partly because she thinks British people don’t care about celebrity gossip as much as we do.
It’s Probably Safe to Say . . . Zoe Saldana Is Not on Good Terms with Bradley Cooper
Some people think it’s good to be on friendly terms with an ex . . . but ZOE SALDANA is not one of them. She says, quote, “There’s a reason why you’re called an ex. I crossed you off my list. Moving on.” It’s probably safe to assume that includes her “Guardians of the Galaxy” costar BRADLEY COOPER.
In the August issue of “Marie Claire”, Zoe says, quote, “I don’t want to be the one going, ‘I’m cool, because I’m friends with all my exes.’ There’s a reason why you’re called an ex. I crossed you off my list. Moving on . . .
Kate Middleton’s “Friend” Told the Tabloids That She’s Pregnant Again
KATE MIDDLETON’S “longtime friend,” Jessica Hay, told the tabloids that Kate’s pregnant again. She says, quote, “I’ve heard it from several different friends of theirs now and they’re saying that they think there’s going to be an official announcement in weeks.”
Ordinarily, this would probably mean nothing, but this Jessica chick did have the scoop on Kate’s first pregnancy, several weeks before the official announcement. If she IS a friend, it’s unclear why she keeps blabbing to the tabloids.
Royal Baby #1, Prince George, turns one year old next Tuesday.
Sexy Pictures of Famous People
1. KENDALL JENNER apparently thinks wet hair and leather lingerie make her look hot . . . and honestly, she isn’t wrong. This shot is for an upcoming spread in “Love” magazine.
2. RIHANNA lifted up her shirt and flashed her bra at the World Cup . . . because, well, she’s Rihanna.
3. HILARY DUFF was spotted walking around a Malibu beach in a BIKINI. Apparently, she was filming a music video . . . not that you care.
4. MEL GIBSON may be 58, but he’s still got some nice bicep action going on.
5. I’m not sure what to make of this . . . but apparently JUSTIN BIEBER sent a photo of his crotch to some chick named Ella-Paige Roberts Clarke. He’s wearing sweat pants, so you can’t see anything.
Is Ann Curry Joining “The View”?
According to the “New York Post”, ANN CURRY is in talks to join “The View”. And ABC is also considering Bernadette Peters, Leah Remini, Meghan McCain, CNN minx S.E. Cupp, and a potential MALE co-host, comedian Mario Cantone, who’s been a frequent guest on the show for years.
Tuesday TV Reminders:
• “Extreme Weight Loss” . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. Your new Miss America, NinaDavuluri, helps a 329-pound super-chubby lose weight.
• “The Will Wheaton Project” . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on Syfy. Will looks at “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes”.
• “Inside the Walking Dead: Walkers” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on AMC. A documentary about the creation of the zombies they use on the show.
• “Drunk History” . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Comedy Central. This week’s skits are about American music. Jack McBrayer from “30 Rock” gets to be legendary disc jockey Alan Freed playing rock n roll for the first time . . .
Jon Daly and Johnny Knoxville play Kris Kristofferson and Johnny Cash . . . and Retta from “Parks & Recreation” forms the Sugarhill Gang as Sylvia Robinson.
• The first season finale of “The Night Shift” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC.
• “Celebrity Wife Swap” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. Jenna Von Oy, who you might know as Six on “Blossom”, trades places with one of the “Real Housewives of New York”, Jill Zarin.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon” – Cameron Diaz, Josh Gad, and Bleachers.
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” – Anna Paquin, Marc Maron, and Elizabeth Karmel.
• “Letterman” – Jason Segel, Liv Tyler, and Trampled By Turtles.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Zach Braff, Jenna Dewan Tatum, and St. Paul and the Broken Bones. (Repeat)
• “Carson Daly” – Brett Gelman, Sir Sly, and Skaters. (Repeat)
• “Conan” – Michael Sheen and Joe Manganiello.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Nicole Richie, Nat Faxon, and Mark Forward.
• “Chelsea Lately” – Chrissy Teigen.
• “Jon Stewart” – Hillary Clinton.
• “The Colbert Report” – Vint Cerf.
Scarlett Johansson’s “Under the Skin” is Out on DVD and Jason Statham’s “Homefront” is Out on Netflix
Here’s what’s new on DVD today:
• “Rio 2“ . . . starring Anne Hathaway and Jesse Eisenberg as the rare, exotic blue birds, Jewel and Blu, who go into the Amazon jungle to track down more of their species. Bruno Mars is also in it as Jewel’s childhood friend.
• “Under the Skin“ . . . starring Scarlett Johansson as an alien who takes on the appearance of a human and then seduces men so she can kill them.
• “Open Grave“ . . . is a horror thriller starring Sharlto Copley as a guy who wakes up in a pit surrounded by dead bodies and no idea how he got there.
Plus: the third season of AMC’s “Hell on Wheels” . . . the second season of BBC’s “Orphan Black” . . . the second season of the Netflix series “Hemlock Grove” . . . and the first season of Adult Swim’s “Black Dynamite”.
Here’s what’s new in the past week to Netflix Instant Streaming:
• “Homefront“ stars Jason Statham is a former DEA agent who retires to a small town and gets targeted by the local drug dealer, played by James Franco. Kate Bosworth plays Franco’s sister and Winona Ryder plays his girlfriend.
• “Out of the Furnace“ stars Christian Bale and Casey Affleck as brothers who get in deep with the local loan shark after Casey loses at the track. Willem Dafoe and Woody Harrelson are the bad guys. Zoe Saldana and Forest Whitaker are also in it.
• “Alan Patridge“ stars Steve Coogan as a radio host who inadvertently creates a hostage situation at his station and then acts as a negotiator for the police.
• “The Power of Few“ stars Christopher Walken, Christian Slater, Jesse Bradford Anthony Anderson, and Juvenile as strangers fighting over a mysterious package . . . that may or may not contain the stolen Shroud of Turin.
New CDs from Jason Mraz, Morrissey, Norah Jones, and Weird Al Yankovic
• “Mandatory Fun“, Weird Al Yankovic
It includes parodies of Iggy Azalea’s “Fancy”, Lorde’s “Royals”, Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines”, Imagine Dragons’ “Radioactive”, and Pharrell’s “Happy”. And Al is releasing a new video every day for the next eight days.
• “Yes!“, Jason Mraz
• “The Black Market“, Rise Against
• “World Peace is None of Your Business“, Morrissey
• “Hello Memory“, the debut album of Little Daylight
• “Passerby“, the second album from Luluc
• “Strange Desire“, Bleachers. This is a solo, side project by Fun guitarist Jack Antonoff and members of his former band Steel Train.
• “Yesterdays“, Pennywise
• “Terms of My Surrender“, John Hiatt
• The “Wish I Was Here“ soundtrack. The title track is performed by Cat Power and Coldplay. The album also includes music from The Shins, Badly Drawn Boy, Gary Jules, Bon Iver, Paul Simon, and The Head and the Heart.
The movie stars Zach Braff, Kate Hudson, and Mandy Patinkin. It hits theaters this Friday. Zach gave a track-by-track breakdown of the soundtrack to RollingStone.com.
• “No Fools, No Fun“, the debut album of Puss N Boots . . . the country trio Norah Jones formed with jazz singer Sasha Dobson, and guitarist Catherine Popper.
The album features five original songs and seven covers, including Neil Young’s “Down By The River”, and the Johnny Cash hit “Bull Rider”, which he got from Rodney Crowell.
• “For One And For All“, the final album from Nashville legend Cowboy Jack Clement. His guests include Dierks Bentley, Vince Gill, Emmylou Harris, Marty Stuart, Leon Russell, the Secret Sisters and Dan Auerbach from The Black Keys. (Soundcloud)
• “Kidz Bop 26“, Kidz Bop Kids . . . This edition features children singing covers of “Happy”, “Timber”, “Dark Horse”, “The Man”, “Counting Stars”, “Story of My Life”, “Best Day of My Life”, “Pompeii”, and of course, “Let It Go”.
Five Random Facts For Tuesday
Here are a few random facts for you. Americans eat an average of 22 hot dogs each during the summer. The Harlem Globetrotters theme song “Sweet Georgia Brown” has lyrics that are all about a hooker. And Nike’s “Just Do It” slogan is based off a murderer’s last words before getting the death penalty in 1976 . . . he said, “Let’s do it.”
1. Americans eat seven billion hot dogs during the summer. That averages out to 22 per person.
2. Golf is fading . . . 160 golf courses closed in the U.S. last year, which is the eighth straight year that more golf courses closed than opened.
3. The Harlem Globetrotters theme song “Sweet Georgia Brown” is a ragtime song from 1925, that initially had lyrics about a hooker.
4. Canada had a rap song hit number one on its charts a full decade before the U.S. “Rapper’s Delight” by Sugarhill Gang was number one in Canada in 1980 . . . “Ice Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice was number one in the U.S. in 1990.
5. Nike’s “Just Do It” slogan is based on a murderer’s last words. Gary Gilmore killed two people in Utah and got the death penalty in 1976 . . . for his last words, he said, “Let’s do it.” And Nike admits their slogan was inspired by the quote.
The 9-to-5, 40-Hour Workweek Is Dead . . . 88% of Us Work More Than That
The 40-hour workweek is dead. A new survey found 88% of people now work MORE than 40 hours a week . . . and 71% do work from home after hours at least once a week.
Buying a House Is the Most Stressful Thing People Do in Life . . . Here’s the Top 10
Our priorities might JUST be out of whack . . . a new survey found the most stressful experience people have is buying a house. It beat out getting a DIVORCE, which came in second. The rest of the top five are getting laid off . . . a death in the family . . . and getting fired.
1. Buying or selling a house.
2. A relationship break-up or divorce.
3. Getting laid off.
4. A death in the family.
5. Getting fired.
6. Being in debt.
7. Starting a new job.
8. Becoming a parent for the first time.
9. Planning a wedding.
10. Going broke or bankrupt.
The Ten Most Popular Text Acronyms Include LOL, OMG, and WTF
An Australian company monitored tweets for three months to figure out the most popular acronyms in the world. LOL came in first, OMG is second, and ILY . . . which stands for I love you . . . is third.
You Become Friends With People So Similar to You in DNA, They Could Be Your Cousins?
A new study says your friends aren’t your friends by accident . . . people gravitate toward people who have similar DNA. So your genes match about 1% of your friends’ genes, which doesn’t sound like a lot . . . but it’s the same amount you’d share with someone who’s your fourth cousin.
The Average Person Spends $65,000 on Diets in Their Life . . . and Rarely Succeeds
A new survey found the average person spends around $1,400-a-year on dieting, between special foods, gym memberships, diet programs, and supplements. That adds up to a total of around $65,000 . . . and unfortunately, about half of us never see any results that last.
The New York Yankees Are Both the Most Loved Team in Baseball . . . and the Most Hated?
The New York Yankees are the most loved AND most hated Major League Baseball team, according to a new survey. For the 11th year in a row, the Yankees were the most popular team . . . but 40% of people said the Yankees are the team they’d LEAST want to see make the World Series
Police Blow Up a Suspicious Object in the Road . . . Turns Out to Be a Voodoo Chicken
Police in Florida got a call yesterday afternoon about a suspicious object in the road . . . it was a chicken head in a pot, next to a paper bag with an unknown object inside. So the bomb squad came in and blew it up. Now they think it was all part of a VOODOO RITUAL.
Tristan Wilds is 25. Dixon Wilson on “90210”.
Taylor Kinney is 33. “Chicago Fire” stud who’s dating Lady Gaga.
Travis Fimmel is 35. Ragnar Lothbrok on “Vikings”.
Lana Parrilla is 37. The Evil Queen on ABC’s “Once Upon a Time”.
Diane Kruger is 38. “National Treasure” minx and star of the FX series “The Bridge”, where she plays a detective trying to catch a serial killer working both sides of the Mexican border.
Gabriel Iglesias is 38. Fluffy comedian who plays club DJ Tobias in “Magic Mike”.
BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN! is 41. He started out as a secondary character on “Beverly Hills 90210″, and somehow got one of the HOTTEST WOMEN IN THE WORLD to marry him and bear him two children.
Scott Foley is 42. Noel on “Felicity”, Bob Brown on “The Unit”, and Henry on “Grey’s Anatomy”. You also know him as the idiot who used to be married to “Alias” minx Jennifer Garner but stupidly let her slip away into Ben Affleck’s greasy arms.
Eddie Griffin is 46. “Undercover Brother”. He once crashed a rare Ferrari Enzo worth more than $1 MILLION at a charity racing event for his movie “Redline”.
Adam Savage is 47. The non-massive mustached host of “Mythbusters”.
Jason Bonham is 48. Son of Led Zeppelin’s deceased drummer John Bonham. He takes his dad’s place on drums when the surviving members of Led Zeppelin perform. Now he’s in a band called California Breed with Glenn Hughes.
Brigitte Nielsen is 51. Stallone’s gold-digging Amazon ex . . . who’s now best known for loving herself some Flavor Flav on “The Surreal Life 3″ and the spinoff, “Strange Love”. But she got tired of Flav, and married some Italian bartender in July of 2006.
LOLITA DAVIDOVICH! is 53. LUSCIOUS VOLUPTUOUS MINX.
Forest Whitaker is 53. Oscar winner for “The Last King of Scotland”. Some of his other films are “The Butler”, “Platoon”, “Phone Booth”, “Panic Room”, “The Crying Game” and “Battlefield Earth”.
He also directed “Waiting To Exhale” . . . and wanted Earth, Wind & Fire tickets from Mike Damone in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”.
Kim Alexis is 54. Monistat-1 supermodel
SUPERSTAR WILLIE AAMES! is 54. “Eight Is Enough” AND “Charles in Charge”!
Plus, he was the original portrayer of the world’s greatest Christian superhero, BIBLE MAN! (Feel Bible Man’s grace here . . . BibleMan.com.)
Joe Satriani is 58. Guitar god who may or may not have been ripped off by Coldplay. He’s now in Chickenfoot with Sammy Hagar, Michael Anthony and Chad Smith. He also taught Metallica’s Kirk Hammett how to play. (True.)
Marky Ramone is 58 . . . or 62, depending on who you ask . . . The Ramones’ drummer. He replaced Tommy Ramone, who is now the only original member of the band left alive. Everyone EXCEPT the drummers died way too young. It’s Spinal Tap in reverse!
(Marky has a band now called Blitzkrieg. He’s also hawking his own PASTA SAUCE. Check it out here . . . MarkyRamone.com.)
Terry O’Quinn is 62. He was both John Locke AND the Smoke Monster on “Lost”. DON’T TELL HIM WHAT HE CAN’T DO!
Jesse “The Anus” Ventura is 63.
Arianna Huffington is 64. Greek liberal behind the Huffington Post.
Linda Ronstadt is 68. Rock & Roll Hall of Famer with a bad case of Parkinsons. In addition to her own stellar career, she’s responsible for the formation of the Eagles. Original Eagles Don Henley, Glenn Frey, Randy Meisner and Bernie Leadon were all members of her backing band.
The Sultan of Brunei is 68. He’s worth $40 BILLION. He set the “Guinness” world record with 200 Rolls-Royces in his garage. He also changed Brunei’s constitution to make himself infallible . . . that’s incapable of error . . . under Bruneian law.
Jan-Michael Vincent is 70. Stringfellow Hawke on “Air Wolf”. He used to also be a big fan of the Bolivian Marching Powder. He’s fallen completely off the map, which is too bad. He totally belongs in one of those “Expendables” movies.
SUPERSTAR KEN KERCHEVAL! is 79. Cliff Barnes on “Dallas”.
ALEX KARRAS! (1935 – 2012) Ex-football player AND George on “Webster”.
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 3 days to International Mandela Day
• 13 days to World Hepatitis Day
• 17 days to Guardians of the Galaxy
• 23 days to Chicago Boot Camp
• 45 days to Labor Day Weekend
• 920 days left of “Hope and Change”
74 years ago . . . In 1940, the TALLEST MAN IN HISTORY, Robert Wadlow, died at age 32. At his death, he stood 8 FEET, 11 INCHES tall, and weighed nearly 500 POUNDS. When he was in kindergarten, Robert was 5-foot-6. By the time he was 18, he was 8-foot-4 and wore SIZE 37 SHOES.
26 years ago . . . In 1988, the first “Die Hard” was released. It spawned four sequels.
23 years ago . . . In 1991, BURT CONVY (the “Cannonball Run” SUPERSTAR, who also later hosted the GREAT game show “Win, Lose Or Draw”) died of a brain tumor at age 57.
22 years ago . . . In 1992, Arkansas Governor BILL CLINTON nailed the Democratic presidential nomination at the party’s convention in New York . . . then he probably nailed a young interning chubby.
22 years ago . . . In 1992, PJP-2 (Pope John Paul the Second) underwent colon and gallbladder surgery. Doctors removed a 3-inch benign tumor from the Pope’s pooper.
20 years ago . . . In 1994, HULK HOGAN admitted under oath in a New York courtroom that he did more than “eat his vitamins and say his prayers” to get his “22-inch Pythons”! In other words, Hogan admitted that he had used steroids between the years of 1976 and 1989 to, quote, “get big”.
18 years ago . . . In 1996, THE SULTAN OF BRUNEI threw himself a small, intimate party for his 50th birthday. Total cost: $27 MILLION. That included $16 million for three concerts by MICHAEL JACKSON.
17 years ago . . . In 1997, GIANNI VERSACE was shot to death outside his home in Miami. The gay man believed to be the gunman . . . (suspected serial killer Andrew Cunanan) . . . was found dead eight days later.
Eight years ago . . . In 2006, AVRIL LAVIGNE married Sum 41 singer DERYCK WHIBLEY. They’re divorced now, and Avril is married to the very sexy Chad Kroeger of Nickelback.
Three years ago . . . In 2011, JENNIFER LOPEZ and MARC ANTHONY announced they were splitting up after seven years of marriage.