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Whatever 5.15

Your daily dose of Whatever!!

Will Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Have a Disney-Themed Wedding . . . Or Will It Be Paintball? 

BRAD PITT and ANGELINA JOLIE’S kids are helping them plan the wedding.  Angelina says, quote, “We are discussing it with the children and how they imagine it might be.  Which is verging on hysterical, how kids envision a wedding.  They will, in a way, be the wedding planners.  It’s going to be Disney or paintball . . . one or the other!”

Jessica Simpson Will Get Married Over July 4th Weekend 

 

 

JESSICA SIMPSON and ERIC JOHNSON have finally set a wedding date . . . and it’s almost upon us.  A source says they’re getting married over July 4th weekend.

 

 

Jessica is 33 and Eric is 34.  They already have two children . . . a 2-year-old daughter named Maxwell and a 10-month-old son named Ace.

 

 

They’ve been together since 2010, and got engaged in November of that year.  This will be Jessica’s second wedding.  She was married to NICK LACHEY from 2002 to 2006.

 

 

 

 

 

Olivia Munn . . . Is Aaron Rodgers Hittin’ That? 

 

 

It wasn’t too long ago that sexy, part-Asian minx OLIVIA MUNN broke up with “Robocop” star JOEL KINNAMAN, but it looks like she recovered pretty quickly . . . by moving on to Green Bay Packers quarterback AARON RODGERS.

 

 

Aaron and Olivia were spotted having dinner with friends in Malibu on Saturday, and a witness says they kissed frequently and, quote, “behaved like quite the couple.”

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

 

 

1.  (NC-17)  If you’ve ever wanted to see what it looks like when MILEY CYRUS orally pleases a man, here are some pictures of her going at her blow-up doll onstage.

 

 

 

2.  Sexy Video:  While LADY GAGA was signing autographs, her boyfriend TAYLOR KINNEY snuck up behind her and pinched her butt.

 

 

 

3.  I guess we’re past the point of trying to analyze MICKEY ROURKE’S fashion choices.

 

 

 

4.  Your new Batman, BEN AFFLECK, is looking pretty buff.

 

 

 

5.  KENNY ROGERS had some skin cancer removed from his face.

 

 

 

6.  KRIS JENNER wiped out while paddleboarding.

They Found Casey Kasem . . . Sort Of

Legendary DJ CASEY KASEM has been FOUND . . . in Washington state, to be specific.  Although they’re not exactly sure where.  He has dementia, and a judge ordered a search for him on Monday to settle a dispute between his wife and kids.

Rachel Bilson Says Too Many Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Will Lead to A Colorful Bathroom Adventure 

 

 

I believe the phrase “Too Much Information” was invented for stuff like this:  RACHEL BILSON was asked in a recent interview when she feels her “all-time unhealthiest”.  Here’s what she had to say . . .

 

 

“My unhealthiest is when I binge on Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, because it happens.  I binge.  I can admit it.  I’ve actually gotten better this year.  It got to the point where I was eating them so much that, like, you poop red every day!

 

 

“You’re like, ‘OK, I don’t know what’s going through my body, but I probably should stop.  There are problems.’”

Beyoncé Posted Four New Pictures of Solange on Instagram 

 

 

This whole BEYONCÉ / JAY Z / SOLANGE thing just got more confusing.  First, Solange attacked Jay in an elevator while Beyoncé looked on.  Then Solange deleted every picture of her sister from her Instagram account except one.

 

 

Then we heard that Jay and Solange were spotted jewelry shopping together on Monday.  Well, now we hear that they DIDN’T go jewelry shopping together.

 

 

And on top of that, Beyoncé just posted FOUR pictures of Solange on HER Instagram page.  So who’s on the outs?  Who are the allies?  Can somebody fill us in here?

CBS Has Decided Not to Move Forward with the “How I Met Your Mother” Spin-Off, “How I Met Your Dad” 

In a surprising move, CBS decided NOT to move forward with the “How I Met Your Mother” spin-off, “How I Met Your Dad”, which was arguably the most-hyped pilot over the past few months.  CBS wanted to “re-tool” the show . . . but the producers declined, and are apparently shopping it to other networks.

CBS’ New Shows Include Ones Starring Josh Duhamel, Matthew Perry, Katharine McPhee, and New Kids on the Block’s Joey McIntyre 

CBS’ schedule for the upcoming TV season includes a two new detective shows, one of which stars Josh Duhamel and Kal Penn . . . and a sitcom starring Joey McIntyre from New Kids on the Block, about a ” loud, sports-crazed Boston family.”

 

There’s a sitcom about a “loud, sports-crazed Boston family” called “The McCarthys”.  It stars Joey McIntyre from New Kids on the Block and Laurie Metcalf, who played Jackie on “Roseanne” and Mary on “The Big Bang Theory”.

 

 

Téa Leoni plays the Secretary of State in a drama called “Madame Secretary” . . . Josh Duhamel and Kal Penn play detectives in a drama called “Battle Creek” . . . and there’s another drama about detectives who handle stalking cases.

 

 

Former “American Idol” runner-up Katharine McPhee is in a drama called “Scorpion” about a super-genius called “Scorpion”.  Katharine isn’t playing the “super-genius,” naturally.

CBS’ Renewals and Cancellations Include a Pickup of “Two and a Half Men”, But Only for One Final Season 

CBS is bringing “Two and a Half Men” back for one, FINAL season.  CBS renewed a lot of their stuff . . . including all their “NCIS” shows . . . but “Bad Teacher” and “The Crazy Ones” were among the ones that got cut.

Other shows that CBS is bringing back include:  “NCIS”, “NCIS: Los Angeles”, “Person of Interest”, “Criminal Minds”, “Elementary”, “CSI”, “Hawaii Five-0″, “Blue Bloods”, “The Good Wife”, “The Big Bang Theory”, “The Millers” . . .

 

 

“2 Broke Girls”, “Mom”, “Mike and Molly”, “The Mentalist”, “Undercover Boss”, “The Amazing Race”, “Survivor”, “60 Minutes” and “48 Hours”.

 

 

The CBS shows that will NOT be back include:  “Bad Teacher”, “The Crazy Ones”, “Friends with Better Lives”, “Hostages”, “Intelligence”, and “We Are Men”.

2014-2015 TV Season Randoms 

 

 

1.  TBS’ new shows include a police comedy called “Angie Tribeca”.  It looks similar to “Brooklyn Nine-Nine”, and stars Rashida Jones.  There’s also a sitcom called “Buzzy’s” that’s set in a Boston barbershop . . . and “Your Family or Mine”, which is about how terrible families are.

 

 

(You can find video previews, here.)

 

 

 

2.  TNT’s new shows include:  A drama based on the “Transporter” movies, an action-adventure show called “The Librarians” starring Noah Wyle and Rebecca Romijn, a cop show set in the ’60s called “Public Morals”, and one called “Proof” about a billionaire who wants to find out what happens when we die.

 

 

(You can find video previews, here.)

 

Late Night Round-Up:  TBS Locks Down Conan O’Brien, and Joel McHale Might Be in the Mix to Replace Craig Ferguson 

TBS and CONAN O’BRIEN have agreed to a contract extension that will keep him there through 2018.  And speaking of late night TV, there’s talk that JOEL MCHALE could be CRAIG FERGUSON’S replacement . . . because he appeared in a selfie with JULIE CHEN and CBS boss Les Moonves.

So, either TBS really loves what Conan is doing for them . . . or they just got word that JAY LENO isn’t interested.

 

 

Meanwhile, JULIE CHEN recently Tweeted a selfie with her husband and JOEL MCHALE, which probably wouldn’t mean anything . . . except that Julie’s husband is Les Moonves, the CBS boss who’s going to pick CRAIG FERGUSON’S replacement on “The Late Late Show”.

 

 

Naturally, that got people talking online . . . and Julie poked fun at it by posting another photo of her and her husband, this time with BARBARA WALTERS.  The caption said, quote, “New 12:30 am Late Late Show host?”

Thursday TV Reminders:

 

 

“American Idol” [Results Show] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox.  Scotty McCreery performs and the top two are revealed.

 

• The fifth season finale of “The Vampire Diaries” . . . from 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on the CW.

 

• The seventh season finale of “The Big Bang Theory” and the first season finale of “The Millers” . . . from 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.

 

“Hollywood Game Night” . . . from 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC.  Jerome Bettis, Michael Weatherly, Lauren Graham, Rita Wilson, Gillian Jacobs, and Joe Manganiello are this week’s celebrity contestants.

 

• The conclusion of Zoe Saldana’s version of “Rosemary’s Baby” . . . from 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC.

 

• The 10th season finale of “Grey’s Anatomy” . . . from 9:00 to 10:00 on ABC.

 

• The first season finale of “Reign” . . . from 9:00 to 10:00 p.m. on the CW.

 

• The second season finale of “Elementary” . . . from 10:00 to 11:00 p.m. on CBS.

Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:

 

 

“The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon” – Jennifer Lawrence, Craig Robinson, a performance by the Broadway cast of “A Gentleman’s Guide To Love and Murder”

 

 

“Late Night with Seth Meyers” – Maya Rudolph, Lake Bell, and Eddie Izzard.

 

 

“Letterman” – Adam Sandler, and Thomas Haden Church.

 

 

“Jimmy Kimmel” – Shailene Woodley, Aasif Mandvi, and Iggy Azalea.

 

 

“Carson Daly” – Gareth Edwards, Together Pangea, and Jimmy Ouyang.

 

 

“Arsenio” – Shannen Doherty, Jasper Redd, and Jermaine Dupri.

 

 

“Conan” – Ray Romano, Tom Felton, and Fortune Feimster.  (Repeat)

 

 

“Craig Ferguson” – Alfred Molina, and Bianca Kajlich.

 

 

“Chelsea Lately” – Edie Falco.

 

 

“Jon Stewart” – Jim Parsons.

 

 

“The Colbert Report” – Thomas Friedman.

Five Random Facts For Thursday

1.  JOHNNY CASH’S birth name wasn’t Johnny . . . he didn’t have ANY first name.  His parents gave him initials, J.R., because they couldn’t think of a name.  When he enlisted in the Air Force, they said he needed a name . . . so he picked John.

 

 

2.  Cats sleep so much that by the time they turn nine years old, they’ve only been awake about three years.

 

 

3.  King Olaf V of Norway competed in the Olympics while he was king . . . but not just because he could, because he was good at SAILING.  He won a gold medal at the 1928 Olympics in Amsterdam.

 

 

4.  HALL and OATES met when they were both at a concert in Philadelphia . . . and a GANG fight broke out.  They hopped in the same elevator to get away from gunshots, found out they both went to Temple University, and became friends.

 

 

5.  Mosquitoes have killed more people than all of the wars in history combined . . . by infecting tens of billions of people with diseases.

 

 

(Wikipedia / Random History / Wikipedia / Independent / IDPH)

Americans Still Call More Than They Text

According to a new survey, 56% of us say calling someone is still the preferred way to stay in touch . . . texting was a distant second, at 25% . . . 51% have been disappointed to get a text instead of a call . . . and 71% call when it’s for something important, like a birthday.

(PR Newswire)

Only 4% of Us Think We’re Less Intelligent Than the Average American

Who knew we were all geniuses?  In a new survey, only FOUR PERCENT of Americans said they’re less intelligent than average.  19% say they’re MUCH more intelligent than the average American.

(Yougov)

The Best and Worst Paying Jobs in America

“Forbes” just released a list of the best and worst paying jobs in America.  Nine of the 10 best paying jobs are types of doctors . . . the only one that’s not is CEO.  Anesthesiologists average the highest salaries, at $235,070-a-year.  And fast food cook is the worst paying job, at $18,870-a-year.

(Forbes)

A Mall Is Evacuated When a Woman Throws Her Adult Diaper in a Garbage Can . . . and People Think It’s a Bomb

:  A mall in Australia was EVACUATED on Tuesday when people saw an elderly woman putting a suspicious package in a garbage can.  When the cops questioned her, it turned out to be . . . her ADULT DIAPER.  The mall reopened and no charges were filed.

(News.com.au)

A Woman in China Gets High and Starts Dancing on an Air Conditioner . . . on the 11th Floor of a Hotel

 

A woman got HIGH at a hotel in southern China this week, and decided to get naked, climb out her window on the 11th floor, stand on an air conditioning unit . . . and start DANCING.  The police and hotel staff managed to talk her into coming back inside, and she was taken to the hospital.

(Daily Star)

Andy Murray is 27.  He became the first Brit to win a Grand Slam title in more than 40 years when he won the U.S. Open in 2012.  He also beat Rodger Federer for the Olympic Gold Medal in London.

 

 

Jamie-Lynn Sigler is 33.  Meadow Soprano on “The Sopranos”.  She played herself on “Entourage”, where she dated the short, chubby character Turtle  . . . then spent a year actually dating the actor who plays Turtle in real life.

 

 

Caroline Dhavernas is 36.  Dr. Alana Bloom on “Hannibal”.

 

 

David Krumholtz is 36.  The math guy on “Numb3rs”, Goldstein in the “Harold and Kumar” movies, and Bernard the Elf in Tim Allen’s “Santa Clause” movies.

 

 

Ryan Leaf is 38.  Legendary NFL bust.  In 1998, the San Diego Chargers drafted him as a quarterback out of Washington State with the number two pick in the draft.  He lasted less than four NFL seasons, throwing 14 touchdowns and 36 interceptions.

 

Since his NFL career ended, he’s been arrested numerous times on drug charges.

 

 

Ray Lewis is 39.  Retired Baltimore Ravens star linebacker (slash) Super Bowl MVP (slash) former murder suspect.

Ahmet Zappa is 40.  Son of Frank . . . brother of Dweezil . . . former husband of Selma Blair . . . and the screenwriter on a movie adaptation of “Fraggle Rock”.

 

 

Emmitt Smith is 45.  Retired Dallas Cowboys legend, “Dancing with the Stars” winner AND Just For Men pitchman.

 

 

Dan Patrick is 58.  Classy former ESPN sports fellow who now works at NBC Sports and hosts his own radio show.  Dan’s show is where a lot of Charlie Sheen’s insanity was first unleashed.

 

 

LEE HORSLEY is 59“Matt Houston”!

 

 

George Brett is 61.  Remember back when people thought using too much pine tar was the best way to cheat your way to hitting home runs?

 

 

Chazz Palminteri is 62.  Detective Dave Kujan in “The Usual Suspects” and DeNiro’s mob rival Primo Sidone in “Analyze This”.

 

 

Nicholas Hammond is 64.  He WAS “The Amazing Spider Man” when Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield were still in diapers.

Brian Eno is 66.  Genius formerly of Roxy Music, AND the legendary producer of U2′s “The Joshua Tree” and Devo’s “Are We Not Men?  We Are Devo”.  He also composed that shimmering sound you hear when you start up Microsoft Windows!

 

 

Lainie Kazan is 74.  Big Fat Greek Mama in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”.  More recently she was on “Desperate Housewives” as Teri Hatcher’s boss, when Susan was going on camera as a naughty maid for a webcam service.

 

 

Madeleine Albright is 77.  Gorgeous former “Sexcretary” of State.  She claims that, even at her age, she can leg-press 400 pounds!

 

 

Wavy Gravy is 78.  Woodstock “counterculture” icon who inspired the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavor.  Real name:  Hugh Romney.  Real ingredients of Wavy Gravy ice cream:  caramel, cashews, Brazil nuts, chocolate, almonds.

 

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• 3 days to the Billboard Awards

• 8 days to Days of Future Past

• 8 days to Memorial Day Weekend

• 31 days to Father’s Day

• 50 days to Independence Day

• 981 days left of “Hope and Change”

84 years ago . . . In 1930, Ellen Church became the FIRST AIRLINE STEWARDESS when she went on duty aboard a United Airlines flight from San Francisco to Cheyenne, Wyoming.  She probably totally put out.

 

 

74 years ago . . . In 1940, NYLON STOCKINGS went on general sale for the first time in the United States.

 

 

73 years ago . . . In 1941, JOE DIMAGGIO’S record 56-GAME hitting streak began.  DiMaggio got a hit in every game until July 17th.  His greatest “hit”:  MARILYN MONROE.

 

 

44 years ago . . . In 1970, PINK FLOYD played at the Crystal Palace Bowl in London.  They rocked out in front of a large lake, and a number of FISH WERE KILLED BY THE LOUD MUSIC.

 

 

43 years ago . . . In 1971, two films by JOHN LENNON and “SUCCUBUS” YOKO ONO were screened at the Cannes Film Festival.  The first was an 18-minute camera shot of a snowy countryside.  The second was Yoko’s “Fly” . . . a graphic exploration of a nude woman’s body by a fly.

 

 

26 years ago . . . In 1988, MARTINA MCBRIDE married John McBride.  Today is their 26th anniversary.

21 years ago . . . In 1993, the stunning JANE SEYMOUR married the below average looking JAMES KEACH.  They got divorced last year.

 

 

19 years ago . . . In 1995, STONE TEMPLE PILOTS lead singer SCOTT WEILAND was arrested after trying to buy smack in a sleazy motel parking lot in Pasadena, California.

 

 

16 years ago . . . In 1998, SONNY & CHER received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.  Sonny couldn’t make it to the ceremony.  He had skied into a tree and died on January 5th, 1998.

 

 

11 years ago . . . In 2003, JUNE CARTER CASH died in Nashville, Tennessee, following heart surgery complications.  She was 73.  (Nearly four months later, on September 12th, Johnny Cash died of complications from diabetes.  He was 71.)

 

 

Four years ago . . . In 2010, JESSICA WATSON became the youngest person to sail, non-stop around the world without assistance.

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