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Whatever 4.16

 

 

 

 

 

Your daily dose of Whatever!!

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

 

 

1.  PAUL RUDD is surprisingly buff.

 

 

 

2.  There’s a snake in NEIL PATRICK HARRIS’ pants . . . and it’s huge.

 

 

 

3.  KIM KARDASHIAN seems to be trying to be AUDREY HEPBURN in a new photo shoot(Meanwhile, a source says Kim is obsessed with her butt, and wants to make it even bigger.)

 

 

 

4.  Here’s KENDALL JENNER with her butt hanging out of her jean shorts.

 

 

 

5.  PAMELA ANDERSON’S barbed wire tattoo is almost gone.

 

 

 

6.  And now . . . LADY GAGA before and after Photoshop.

 

 

 

7.  “Teen Mom” star JANELLE EVANS showed off her oddly erotic TATTOOED baby bump on Instagram.

 

 

 

8.  (NC-17)  MISCHA BARTON showed a little NIPPLE at the airport.

Miley Cyrus Was Hospitalized Due to An Allergic Reaction 

 

 

MILEY CYRUS was hospitalized yesterday in Kansas City due to a severe allergic reaction to some kind of medication.  She had to cancel a gig at the city’s Sprint Center because of it.

 

 

I’m sure your first thought was that it was some kind of non-prescription “medication”.  But remember, Miley had to cancel a show due to the flu last week, and a source says she’s been battling major throat and sinus issues.

 

 

She seems okay though.  Last night she Tweeted a picture of herself in her hospital bed with a toy octopus, whose name is apparently “Mr. Octopussy”.

Artie Lange Was Hospitalized After Going Into Diabetic Shock 

 

 

Comedian ARTIE LANGE was hospitalized in Michigan yesterday after going into diabetic shock.  Lange’s radio show is in reruns this week because he’s on the road doing standup.  But now he’s had to cancel a show in L.A. this weekend.

 

 

Artie Tweeted a picture of himself in his hospital bed . . . not looking too well.  He captioned it, quote, “In the hospital outside of Detroit after going into diabetic shock.  Trying to get better.  Sorry for missing gigs.”

“Out” Magazine Honors Ellen DeGeneres, Ellen Page and Neil Patrick Harris in Its Annual Power List

The gay-themed magazine, “Out”, has released its “Power 50″ . . . a list of people who, quote, “influence the way others live.”  ELLEN DEGENERES is #1.  She’s followed by Apple CEO Tim Cook, who topped the list last year.  And ELLEN PAGE makes her debut on the list at #29 after coming out earlier this year.

Tracy Morgan Now Feels Bad for Alec Baldwin 

TRACY MORGAN is concerned about his “30 Rock” co-star ALEC BALDWIN because he’s losing jobs and getting in fights with the paparazzi.  Tracy’s advice to Alec is, quote, “Chill out, raise your family and enjoy your wife and your daughter.  The paparazzi do what they do, man.  They have a job, too.

Blake Griffin Has Played with Bad Gas . . . Did It Actually Help His Performance? 

BLAKE GRIFFIN of the L.A. Clippers admits that he’s aired some STALE WIND during games.  He usually acts like it wasn’t him, because it’s “what he has to do.”  And he jokes that it might have helped him dunk because the flatulence makes him, quote, “a little lighter.”

Paul Walker’s Brothers Are Going to Help Finish His Scenes in “Fast & Furious 7″

PAUL WALKER’S younger brothers have been hired to serve as stand-ins for him in “Fast & Furious 7″.  The producers say, quote, “Having them on set has made us all feel that Paul is with us too.”

Rosie O’Donnell Says Lindsay Lohan’s New Reality Show Is a “Tragedy on Every Level”

ROSIE O’DONNELL is NOT a fan of LINDSAY LOHAN’S new reality show.  She Tweeted, quote, “The Lindsay show is a tragedy . . . on every level.  I hope one day she gets sober for real and watches these episodes, and sees what we all do.”

Stephen Colbert Will Be on “Letterman”, and CBS Says Chelsea Handler Is Not Taking Over for Craig Ferguson 

 

 

Next Tuesday, STEPHEN COLBERT will be a guest on “The Late Show with David Letterman” . . . the show he’s taking over sometime next year.  Obviously, they’ll probably talk about Dave’s impending retirement.

 

 

By the way, CHELSEA HANDLER posted a photo, of herself holding some papers with the CBS logo on them, and mentioned something about a “business meeting”.  That made people think she was in talks to take over for CRAIG FERGUSON after his contract is up this summer.

 

 

But a spokesperson for CBS says, quote, “There are no discussions with Chelsea Handler regarding the network’s 12:30 late night broadcast.  Her meeting with CBS yesterday was a general meeting with our syndication [division].”

The Final Season of “Glee” Will Be Set Years in the Future 

 

 

“Glee” creator Ryan Murphy says the show will jump forward in time for its sixth and final season, which will begin this fall.  But he didn’t say how FAR into the future.

 

 

He also says it will directly involve only a handful of core characters, although, quote, “Anybody who wants to come back can come back.”

 

 

And he adds, quote, “Everything sort of builds to a head [in the current season's finale].  I would say explosion is too harsh of a word, but something big happens and then the final season is the aftermath of that.”  (There’s more, here.)

The NCAA Championship Was #1 in the Ratings

 

 

The NCAA Championship Game came in at first place in the ratings with 21.2 million viewers.  “NCIS” and “The Big Bang Theory” round out the top three shows for the week.  Here are last week’s Top 10 shows:

 

 

1.  “NCAA Championship Game”, CBS, 21.2 million viewers

 

2.  “NCIS “, CBS, 17.4 million viewers.

 

3.  “The Big Bang Theory”, CBS, 16.3 million viewers.

 

4.  “NCIS: Los Angeles”, CBS, 14.6 million viewers.

 

5.  “Dancing with the Stars”, ABC, 14.5 million viewers.

 

6.  “NCAA Pre-Game Show”, CBS, 12 million viewers.

 

7.  Monday’s episode of “The Voice”, NBC, 12 million viewers.

 

8.  Tuesday’s episode of “The Voice”, NBC, 11.1 million viewers.

 

9.  “Blue Bloods”, CBS, 11.1 million viewers.

 

10.  “60 Minutes”, CBS, 11 million viewers.

 

 

“American Idol” had 8.9 million viewers on Wednesday and 7.6 million on Thursday.

Wednesday TV Reminders:

 

 

“American Idol” [Performance Show] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.  The finalists perform songs selected by their competitors.

 

 

“Deal With It” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TBS.  Rassler Chris Jericho and comedian Bill Engvall are this week’s guest pranksters.

 

 

“Unusually Thicke” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on the TV Guide Network.  “Growing Pains” superstar Alan Thicke stars in this scripted reality show, with his third wife Tanya, and his 16-year-old son Carter . . . who’s a little jealous of his older brother.  (Trailer)

Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:

 

 

“The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon”Bradley Cooper and Tim McGraw.  (Repeat)

 

 

“Late Night with Seth Meyers”Iggy Azalea, Anderson Cooper, and Victoria’s Secret models Alessandra Ambrosio and Behati Prinsloo.  (Repeat)

 

 

“Letterman”Theo James from “Divergent”, Sylvester Stallone, and Ledisi.  (Repeat)

 

 

“Jimmy Kimmel”Emma Stone, Jeff Perry from “Scandal”, and Schoolboy Q.  (Repeat)

 

 

“Carson Daly” – Egyptian documentary director Jehane Noujaim.  Plus:  Two Door Cinema Club, and Into It. Over It.  (Repeat)

 

 

“Arsenio”Hot Chelle Ray, plus Penn Jillette and the “Who’s Line is It Anyway” cast:   Wayne Brady, Aisha Tyler, Colin Mochrie, and Ryan Stiles.  (Repeat)

 

 

“Conan” – Actor Nick Thune and the band Bastille.

 

 

“Craig Ferguson”Kunal Nayyar from “The Big Bang Theory”.

 

 

“Chelsea Lately”Ellie Goulding.

 

 

“Jon Stewart”Denis Leary.  (Repeat)

 

 

“The Colbert Report”Mark Mazzetti from the “New York Times”.  (Repeat)

Five Random Facts For Wednesday

Here are a few random facts for you.  18% of the members of Congress are women, which is lower than Pakistan, Iraq, and Afghanistan.  And sex toys were invented 20,000 years before the wheel.

1.  18% of the members of Congress are women.  That’s a lower percentage than the parliaments in dozens of countries . . . including Pakistan, Iraq, and Afghanistan.

 

 

2.  Based on the oldest artifacts that have been discovered, sex toys were invented at least 20,000 years before the wheel.

 

 

3.  Three of the four highest-grossing film series of all times are based on British books:  “Harry Potter” is first, “James Bond” is second, and J.R.R. TOLKIEN’S Middle Earth books are fourth.  The Marvel Comics movies are third and ALL AMERICAN, BABY.

 

 

4.  In Chico, California, it’s illegal to detonate a nuclear device in city limits.  If you’re caught, it’s a $500 fine.

 

 

5.  98% of the adoptions in Japan are families adopting ADULTS.  Families legally adopt around 90,000 men in their 20s and 30s every year to pass on their family names and businesses.

 

 

(World Bank / Wikipedia / Wikipedia / Skeptive / Economist)

 

The Sexts You Get Are Full of Lies

Your SEXT LIFE is full of lies.  A new study found 45% of women and 24% of men sometimes lie about what they’re wearing or what they’re doing when they’re sexting.

(Slate / LiveScience)

English Professors Are Most Likely to Have Sex With Their Students

At most colleges, professors are allowed to have relationships with students . . . it’s frowned upon, but not illegal.  So which professors are most likely to try it?  A new study found English professors do it the most, followed by music and business professors.

1.  English.

 

2.  Music.

 

3.  Business.

 

4.  Science.

 

5.  History.

 

 

(FemaleFirst)

 

And Now, Three New Things To Worry About

Here are a few new things to worry about.  The more debt you have, the less sex you have . . . your brain starts slowing down and you became OLD at age 24 . . . the more money you make, the more money you need . . . and only 3% of Americans think they make enough to live comfortably.

1.  Debt Kills Your Sex Life.  A study just found the more debt you have, the less sex you have.

 

 

Couples who are financially stable have sex an average of four times a week . . . couples with a few thousand in debt have sex once a week . . . and couples with at least $10,000 in debt have sex once a month.  (FemaleFirst)

 

 

2.  You Became Old at Age 24.  Apparently, you became OLD way earlier than you thought.  A new study out of Canada found our brains start slowing down when we hit 24.  (Plos One)

 

 

3.  The More Money You Make, The More You Need.  Everyone thinks they’d be so satisfied if they could just make six figures . . . but you won’t.  You’ll just want seven figures.  Then when you get that, you’ll want eight figures.

 

 

A survey found the more money we make, the more money we THINK we need to live comfortably.  Only 3% of Americans believe they’re wealthy and comfortable with the amount of money they have.  (PR Newswire)

The Top 10 Habits and Routines People Are Least Likely to Change

 

A new survey found 74% of people have some habits they just can’t break.  The top five habits and routines we’re least likely to change are:  Hairstyle . . . hair color . . . what you eat for breakfast . . . the mug you use for coffee . . . and your bedtime.

1.  Hairstyle.

 

2.  Hair color.

 

3.  What you eat for breakfast.

 

4.  The mug you use for coffee.

 

5.  Your bedtime.

 

6.  The brands of food you buy.

 

7.  The restaurant you go to when you need to grab a quick dinner.

 

8.  When you go shopping.

 

9.  The brand of coffee you buy.

 

10.  The times of day you drink your coffee.  (Daily Mail / Express)

What Common Phrase Do You Hate the Most?

What common phrase do you HATE the most?  Some of the most popular answers are:  “Everything happens for a reason” . . . “At the end of the day” . . . “Do what you love” . . . and “I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”

1.  “Everything happens for a reason.”

 

2.  “At the end of the day . . .”

 

3.  “Do what you love.”

 

4.  “I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”

 

5.  “No worries.”

 

6.  “I’ve got a case of the Mondays.”

 

7.  “It’s Sunday Funday.”

 

8.  “Work hard, play hard.”

 

9.  “Give 110 percent.”

 

10.  “It is what it is.”  (Huffington Post)

The 10 Best and Worst Jobs For 2014

There’s a new list of the best and worst jobs for 2014, based on things like income, outlook, and stress . . . and math is HOT.  Three of the top four jobs are in math, and mathematician came in first.  Lumberjack was named the worst job, just below newspaper reporter.

(CNBC)

One Year After the Boston Marathon Bombing, a Man Is Arrested For Leaving a Backpack With a Rice Cooker by the Finish Line

Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of the bombing at the Boston Marathon . . . and some JACKASS left an unattended backpack at the finish line.  He was arrested, the area was evacuated, and the bomb squad blew up the backpack.  There wasn’t a bomb inside . . . but there WAS a rice cooker filled with confetti.

(CBS 4 – Boston)

Now Dozens of Teenagers Are Tweeting Bomb Threats to Airlines to Get Famous

In case you missed it, a 14-year-old girl from the Netherlands tweeted a fake terrorist threat to American Airlines on Sunday.  And she was arrested . . . but made international news.  So now, DOZENS of teenagers have copied her to get famous by tweeting their own bomb threats to airlines.  The question becomes . . . should the FBI waste resources to teach them all a lesson?

(Washington Post)

Liliana Mumy is 20.  Sweet little Lucy from Tim Allen’s “Santa Clause” movies.  Her dad is Billy Mumy, the original Will Robinson from “Lost in Space”.

 

 

Lorraine Nicholson is 24.  Jack Nicholson’s daughter.  She plays a rival surfer in that movie “Soul Surfer”, which is about shark attack victim Bethany Hamilton.

 

 

Gina Carano is 32.  Badass MMA minx who transitioned into acting by starring in Steven Soderbergh’s “Haywire”.  She’s also in “Fast & Furious 6″, a new movie called “In the Blood”, and will be doing a female version of “The Expendables”.

Lukas Haas is 38.  The little Amish boy in “Witness”.  In 1996, he saved the world by figuring out that Slim Whitman music makes aliens’ heads explode in “Mars Attacks”.  Then he suggested that instead of rebuilding civilization, everyone just live in tepees.

 

 

Peter Billingsley is 43.  Ralphie in “A Christmas Story”.  More recently, he was one of the executive producers for “Iron Man” and had a cameo as the guy who gets yelled at by Obadiah for not being able to duplicate Tony’s Stark’s work.

 

 

Jon Cryer is 49.  Non-Ashton star of “Two and a Half Men”.  Back in the day, he was Phil “Duckie” Dale in “Pretty in Pink”.  The producers of “Friends” originally wanted him to play Chandler, but he was in London . . . and his audition tape never made it back to the U.S. in time.  So they picked Matthew Perry.

GERARDO! is 49RICO SUAVE!

 

 

Martin Lawrence is 49.

 

 

David Pirner is 50.  Soul Asylum’s lead singer.  He used to nail Winona Ryder.  But then again, WHO DIDN’T?!?

 

 

Jimmy Osmond is 51.

 

 

Asiatic mattress actress Saki St. Jermaine is 59.  She’s starred in 412 fine films, including . . . “Welcum to My Face”, “Hannibal Lickter”, “Rump Humpers 6″, “Hershe Highway” AND “Anything BUTT Love”.

 

 

Ellen Barkin is 60.  Naughty aging minx in “Drop Dead Gorgeous”, “The Big Easy”, “Sea of Love” and “Ocean’s 13″.  Gabriel Byrne used to nail her, real good.  Al Pacino also used to nail her, real good.

Bill Belichick is 62.  Cheating coach of the New England Patriots.  May have officially lost his mojo to New York Giants coach Tom Coughlin.

 

 

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is 67.  Very tall pot-head.

 

George “The Animal” Steele is 77.  Old-school wrestler who used to bite off turnbuckle covers.  He also played “Plan 9 From Outer Space” star TOR JOHNSON in TIM BURTON’S “Ed Wood”.

Bobby Vinton is 79.  Biggest hit:  The monsta jam that is “Blue Velvet”.

 

 

Pope Emeritus Benedict the Sixteenth is 87.  Popes rarely EVER retire . . . like, it hasn’t happened for 600 years . . . so this is the only time we’ve ever seen a Pope Emeritus.

 

 

Murdered Tejano singer Selena would’ve been 43.  (1971 -1995)  She had nalgas muy grandes y bonitas.  So by dying, Selena Perez made Jennifer Lopez a star.

 

 

David Graf  (1950 – 2001)  Sergeant Eugene Tackleberry in the “Police Academy” movies . . . and Sam the Butcher in the “Brady Bunch” movies.  He brought Alice the meat.  Oh, yes he did.

 

 

Gerry Rafferty  (1947 – 2011)  Biggest hit:  The phenomenal classic “BAKER STREET”.  He also co-wrote the jam “Stuck in the Middle with You”.

Dusty Springfield  (1939 – 1999)  Rock and Roll Hall of Famer who LOVED THE LADIES.

 

 

Henry Mancini  (1924 – 1994)  Genius composer of “The Pink Panther” theme.

Charlie Chaplin  (1889 – 1977)  He was known as “The Little Tramp” long before Lindsay Lohan came along.  Just about everything he did is CLASSIC . . . but some of his standouts include “Modern Times”, “The Great Dictator”, “City Lights”, “The Gold Rush” and “The Kid”.

 

His granddaughter Oona Chaplin was Robb Stark’s wife on “Game of Thrones”, and that included some impressive nudity when they consummated their marriage.

Wilbur Wright  (1867 – 1912)  Orville’s brother.

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• 4 days to Easter Sunday

• 7 days to Secretary’s Day

• 25 days to Mother’s Day

• 37 days to Memorial Day Weekend

• 60 days to Father’s Day

• 1,010 days left of “Hope and Change”

71 years ago . . . In 1943, Swiss chemist Albert Hofmann became the first person to take an LSD TRIP . . . after a tiny amount of “lysergic acid diethylamide” he’d created seeped through the skin of his finger.  (LSD was eventually made illegal in the U.S. in 1965.)

 

 

21 years ago . . . In 1993, DAVID LEE ROTH was arrested for buying REEFER in a New York park.  The judge later ordered the charges dropped if the balding rocker remained clean for a year.

 

 

21 years ago . . . In 1993, PRESIDENT CLINTON received gay and lesbian activists in the Oval Orifice . . . I mean, Office.

 

 

20 years ago . . . In 1994, HARRY CONNICK, JR. married incredible “Victoria’s Secret” model JILL GOODACRE.  Today is their 20th Anniversary.

 

 

20 years ago . . . In 1994, JENNIE GARTH married some clown named Daniel B. Clark.  They divorced in 1996.  Jennie Garth is now in the process of divorcing Peter Facinelli . . . who played Dr. Carlisle Cullen in the “Twilight” movies.

 

 

18 years ago . . . In 1996, BRITAIN’S PRINCE ANDREW and his very naughty, chubby, redheaded minx of a wife, FERGIE, The Duchess of York, announced they were in the process of getting a divorce.  Fergie likes her toes sucked AND has fire-down-below, ya know.

 

 

16 years ago . . . In 1998, Los Angeles prosecutors filed criminal charges against GEORGE MICHAEL for his very lewd gay behavior in a very lewd gay Beverly Hills public restroom.

15 years ago . . . In 1999, SHANIA TWAIN became the first woman named Songwriter / Artist of the Year by the Nashville Songwriters Association International.

 

 

15 years ago . . . In 1999, the Great One, WAYNE GRETZKY, announced his retirement from the NHL.

 

 

12 years ago . . . In 2002, ROBERT URICH died of cancer at the age of 55.

 

 

11 years ago . . . In 2003, MICHAEL JORDAN played his last NBA GAME as a member of the Washington Wizards.  (It was a loss to the Philadelphia 76ers.)

 

 

Nine years ago . . . In 2005, “One Tree Hill” costars CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY and SOPHIA BUSH got married.  They divorced in December of 2006.

 

 

Nine years ago . . . In 2005, MARY CAREY . . . best known as the mattress actress who ran for California governor . . . was arrested at a strip club for getting too friendly WITH HERSELF.

 

 

Seven years ago . . . In 2007, a student at Virginia Tech University went on a shooting rampage, killing 32 people and himself.  The VIRGINIA TECH MASSACRE is not only the deadliest school shooting in our country’s history, it’s the deadliest shooting rampage period.

 

 

Five years ago . . . In 2009, legendary NFL broadcaster JOHN MADDEN retired at the tender young age of 73 . . . after spending three decades in the booth.

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