Your daily dose of Whatever!
John Travolta Has Been Beating Himself Up Over His Oscar Mistake
After he called IDINA MENZEL ‘Adele Dazeem’ at the Oscars, JOHN TRAVOLTA said, quote, “I’ve been beating myself up all day. Then I thought, ‘What would IDINA MENZEL say’? She’d say, ‘Let it go, let it go!’ He didn’t say anything about what led to the mistake though.
Idina hasn’t commented . . . but E! News says she, quote, “laughed it off,” and thought it was “so funny.”
Meanwhile, Broadway and Netflix are trying to capitalize on it. Idina’s Broadway show, “If / Then”, Tweeted, quote, “You know her name! Idina Menzel stars in the new musical ‘If / Then’ on Broadway starting March 5th.”
Six Oscar Randoms: Liza Minnelli Didn’t Like Ellen DeGeneres’ Joke . . . and Kenya and Mexico Are Fighting Over Lupita Nyong’o
1. LIZA MINNELLI did NOT like ELLEN DEGENERES’ joke at the Oscars, when she referred to her as, quote, “one of the most amazing Liza Minnelli impersonators I’ve ever seen in my entire life,” and added, “Good job, SIR.”
Liza told the paparazzi, quote, “I think she thought it would be funny, but she never stopped after she said it and said, ‘My friend, Liza Minnelli,’ so I think it kind of went a little astray on her . . . [but] I don’t think she meant any harm at all.”
2. Vulture.com mashed up MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY’S “hero” speech with BETTE MIDLER’S Oscar performance of “Wind Beneath My Wings” . . . and the result is pretty good.
3. TMZ claims BRADLEY COOPER is the “copyright owner” of the now-famous Oscar selfie . . . because no matter whose camera it was, he was the one who took the picture.
They say, quote, “Any use of the pic without his permission is a violation of the copyright,” so there’s a chance he COULD make some serious cash off it.
4. Back in 1853, the “New York Times” misspelled the name of Solomon Northup, the man who “12 Years a Slave” is based on. They did it TWICE, first as “Northrup”, with an “R” . . . and then as “Northrop,” with an “R” and an “O”.
And now, more than 160 years later, they’ve printed a correction. The “Times” added, quote, “The errors came to light on Monday, after a Twitter user pointed out the article in ‘The Times’ archives.”
5. Kenya and Mexico are both laying claim to “12 Years a Slave” star LUPITA NYONG’O, who won Best Supporting Actress. Lupita is of Kenyan descent, but she was born in Mexico City, and lived there for part of her childhood.
Her family then moved back to Kenya, and she stayed there until she went to the U.S. to attend college. For what it’s worth, Lupita says she’s BOTH . . . quote, “I’m Mexican-Kenyan and I am fascinated by carne asada tacos.” (???)
6. JARED LETO has only had his Oscar for a few days, and it’s already been dinged up. He says, quote, “I was carrying it down the stairs and, boom, I hit it against the railing . . . I put a little nick in the back of it, so . . . it’s already lived-in.”
Jared also says that he keeps his Oscar in his KITCHEN, where it’s, quote, “guarded by some vegan butter and a bag of popcorn.”
Katy Perry Broke Off Her Kiss With Miley Cyrus Because She Doesn’t Know Where Miley’s Tongue Has Been
On an Australian TV show, KATY PERRY admitted that she broke off the kiss with MILEY CYRUS during Miley’s Bangerz Tour last month. She said, quote, “God knows where that tongue has been. We don’t know. That tongue is so infamous!” She also dodged a question about whether she has a boyfriend.
“And then she tried to move her head and go deeper, and I pulled away. God knows where that tongue has been. We don’t know. That tongue is so infamous!” (Check out video here. Skip forward to the 7:30 mark.)
Chelsea Handler Says She Can’t Be Racist Because She Dates Black Guys
CHELSEA HANDLER was branded a RACIST on Twitter for some Oscar jokes she made about “12 Years a Slave”. But yesterday, she said she CAN’T be racist because, quote, “I date a lot of black people.”
For instance, when it won Best Picture, she said, quote, “Congratulations #12yearsaslave Go to Africa or buy #ugandabekiddingme.
Also, when LUPITA NYONG’O won Best Supporting Actress, she Tweeted, quote, “Angelina Jolie just filed adoption papers.”
Predictably, people started calling Chelsea RACIST. So she took her case to “Good Morning America” yesterday. She said, quote, “People are mad at me all the time.
“If I was worried about that then I would be spending a lot of time online. I’d rather be a little more productive.
“I’m not racist. I date a lot of black people, so that would be a difficult thing to explain to them.”
Sexy Pictures of Famous People
1. If you love fake, not-the-least-bit-realistic-looking breasts, these cleavage pics of COURTNEY STODDEN are right up your alley.
2. NICK JONAS showed off his guns after a workout.
3. Check out HEIDI KLUM making out with her 27-year-old boyfriend at a club. The guy’s name is Vito Schnabel, and he’s a licensed COUGAR-HUNTER. He was nailing DEMI MOORE back in 2012.
4. It seems like HAYDEN PANETTIERE hasn’t done a sexy photoshoot in a while. Good thing that just changed.
5. DEMI LOVATO shaved part of her head, and captioned it “I don’t give [an eff].”
Was Selena Gomez Hammered at an Oscar Party?
Even though she went to rehab earlier this year, a source says SELENA GOMEZ was drunk and stumbling around at an Oscar after-party. When Selena went to rehab, her rep said it was NOT for substance abuse. She checked out two weeks into a six-week program.
A source says, quote, “Selena was drinking constantly throughout the entire party . . . She was having a grand old time and towards the tail end she was stumbling in her heels and almost toppled right over.
“She wasn’t slurring too bad, but was definitely in the happy-sleepy stage.”
Justin Bieber’s Urine Test Video Will Be Released . . . But With His “Little Bieber” Censored
A Florida judge has ruled that video of JUSTIN BIEBER taking a URINE TEST after his DUI arrest WILL be released. But Justin’s EQUIPMENT will be censored. There’s no word when we’ll see the clip. But police already did release pictures of Justin baring his tattoos so they could snap photos of them.
In addition to his urine test, Justin Bieber also had to bare all his tattoos, so the cops could take pictures of them. We assume they did it to keep a record of his identifying marks.
The Miami Beach police just released those photos.
Jennie Garth Says She and Shannen Doherty Almost Threw Down on the Set of “90210”
In her new book, JENNIE GARTH says she and SHANNEN DOHERTY never came to blows on the set of “90210”, but they ALMOST did one time. LUKE PERRY and JASON PRIESTLEY had to separate them. Today, Jennie and Shannen are close friends.
Eric Roberts . . . Oscar nominee, Brother of Julia and Father of Emma . . . Will Be in “Human Centipede 3″
ERIC ROBERTS will appear in “Human Centipede 3″, which is due out sometime this year. The movie takes place in an American maximum-security prison in the desert, and Roberts is playing “an (A-hole) governor.” The villains from the first two movies return as different characters, and the “film” will feature a 500-person centipede.
The New Cast for the Next “Dancing with the Stars”
ABC has officially announced the pairings for the new season of “Dancing of the Stars”. As for the “stars,” they’re the same as the latest rumored list . . . with one exception: Instead of BRUCE JENNER, the cast will include AMY PURDY, a double-leg amputee who was on “The Amazing Race” back in 2012.
Billy Dee Williams, the SUPERSTAR who played Lando Calrissian in two of the original “Star Wars” movies, will dance with Emma Slater
Danica McKellar, a.k.a. Winnie Cooper from “The Wonder Years” is paired with Val Chmerkovskiy
Candace Cameron Bure, a.k.a. D.J. Tanner from “Full House”, and Mark Ballas
“Price Is Right” host Drew Carey will dance with Cheryl Burke
“Real Housewives of Atlanta” star Nene Leakes and Tony Dovolani
Former pro hockey player Sean Avery will be paired with Karina Smirnoff
“Big Time Rush” star James Maslow will dance with Peta Murgatroyd
Olympic ice dancing gold-medalist Meryl Davis and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Meryl’s ice dancing partner Charlie White is paired with Sharna Burgess
17-year-old singer Cody Simpson will be with new dancer Witney Carson, who was a finalist on “So You Think You Can Dance” in 2012
Long distance swimmer Diana Nyad with first-time dancer Henry Byalikov, who has been on foreign versions of the various dancing competition shows
The Oscars Were the Most-Watched Show Last Week . . . And “The Voice” and “The Blacklist” Returned to Decent Ratings
1. “The 86th Academy Awards”, ABC, 43.7 million viewers.
2. “Oscars Red Carpet Live”, ABC, peaked at 27 million viewers.
3. “Big Bang Theory”, CBS, 17.7 million viewers.
4. “NCIS”, CBS, 17 million viewers.
5. The 6th season premiere of “The Voice”, NBC, 15.9 million viewers.
6. “NCIS: Los Angeles”, CBS, 13.2 million viewers
7. Tuesday’s episode of “The Voice”, NBC, 13 million viewers
8. “The Walking Dead”, AMC, 12.6 million viewers
9. “Blue Bloods”, CBS, 12 million viewers.
10. “The Blacklist”, NBC, 11.2 million viewers.
The 28th season premiere of “Survivor: Cagayan” got 9.4 million viewers. ABC’s “Mixology” somehow premiered to just under 5 million, and “Mind Games” attracted 3.6 million. The second season of “Hannibal” drew 3.3 million viewers.
Over on cable, the third season of “Dallas” returned to 2.7 million viewers on TNT. And the second season of “The Americans” pulled 1.9 million viewers for FX.
Wednesday’s TV Reminders:
• “American Idol” [Performance Show] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox.
• “The Face” [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Oxygen. Naomi Campbell mentors another dozen “modeltestants”.
• “Bring It!” [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Lifetime. This is almost a cheerleader version of “Friday Night Tykes”. It’s about the intense world of hip hop majorette competitions, as little girls are yelled at to do well in dance battles.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon” – Norman Reedus, Annette Bening, and the Avett Brothers.
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” – Ice T and his wife Coco, Nick Kroll, and Rick Ross.
• “Letterman” – Tom Selleck, Carrie Brownstein, and David Nail.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Ricky Gervais, and the Kongos.
• “Carson Daly” – Icona Pop, Risk., and The Missing Picture.
• “Arsenio” – Prince.
• “Conan” – Jeff Goldblum and Angie Harmon.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Lena Headey, Carson Kressley, and Panic! At the Disco.
• “Chelsea Lately” – Khloe Kardashian guest hosts.
• “Jon Stewart” – Rachel Maddow.
• “The Colbert Report” – Beau Willimon.
Five Random Facts For Wednesday
1. 43% of pet owners sleep in bed with their pets every night. That must be awkward for people with goldfish.
2. 38% of people don’t write checks any more . . . and another 20% only write one or two checks per YEAR.
3. In the early 1950s, only 12% of teenagers agreed with the statement, “I am an important person.” By the late 1980s, 80% of teenagers agreed with that statement in the same survey.
4. Antifreeze manufacturers now pay attention to TASTE . . . and use artificial flavoring to make antifreeze BITTER. It used to be sweet, which made it appealing to pets, children, and people trying to POISON other people.
5. There are more than 25 countries where homeschooling is illegal, including Brazil, Germany, Greece, Spain, Sweden, and Turkey.
11% of Americans Think HTML is an STD, 18% Think Blu-Ray is a Marine Animal . . . and 23% think MP3 is a “Star Wars” Robot?
A new survey found a lot of people REALLY don’t know basic technology terms. 11% thought HTML was an STD . . . 18% thought Blu-ray was a marine animal . . . 23% thought MP3 was a “Star Wars” robot . . . and 27% thought gigabyte was an insect in South America.
11% of people think HTML is a sexually transmitted disease.
12% of Americans think USB is an acronym for a European country.
18% think Blu-ray is a marine animal.
23% think MP3 is a “Star Wars” robot.
27% think a gigabyte is an insect found in South America.
42% think a motherboard is the deck of a cruise ship.
And finally, 61% say it’s important to have strong knowledge of technology in this day and age. (Los Angeles Times)
A New App Teaches You to Pleasure Women By Licking Your Screen
There’s a new smart phone app that teaches you to pleasure women . . . by having you LICK YOUR SCREEN. You do things like keep a beach ball bouncing or sharpening a pencil on screen, just using your tongue. Since smart phone screens are FILTHY, they recommend you use plastic wrap over the screen. It’s free, just go to LickThisApp.com.
Ten Things Men Over 30 Should Never Wear
2. Choker necklaces.
3. Dangly earrings.
4. Skull jewelry.
5. Fake tanner.
6. A wrist full of bracelets.
8. Sports jerseys customized with their name on the back.
9. Backwards hats.
Daylight Savings Starts Sunday . . . It Takes the Average Person Three-and-a-Half Days to Adjust to It
Believe it or not, Daylight Savings starts SUNDAY. And according to a new study, it takes the average person three-and-a-half days to adjust to it. In other words . . . you’ll be a zombie until Thursday.
A Bus Driver Broke Down in Cold Weather, So She Picked Up Freezing Kids in Her SUV . . . and Got Fired
Back on the 12th of last month, a school bus in Calgary broke down when it was negative-35-degrees outside. The driver was worried the five kids on her route were outside freezing, so she picked them up in her SUV instead. But she was fired, since that was against policy. Now parents are demanding that the company rehire her.
A Couple Ran Back Into a Burning Building To Save Their Flat-Screen TV
On Sunday, firefighters arrived at an apartment fire in St. Paul, Minnesota, and the couple who lived there were still inside . . . trying to save their flat-screen TV. Both had to be treated for smoke inhalation, but they’re okay. A fire department spokesman said he’s not sure if the TV made it or not.
Jake Lloyd is 25. Young Anakin Skywalker in “Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace”. He basically gave up on acting after that first “Star Wars” movie.
Jolene Blalock is 39. Extremely hot Vulcan minx on “Star Trek: Enterprise”.
She used to get smooth up in the hairless Edward Furlong . . . and was arrested with him that time he drunkenly wrecked his car JUST FOUR HOURS after being stopped for driving without a license.
Niki Taylor is 39. Supermodel nearly killed by a CELL PHONE. Her then-boyfriend reached down to answer his phone, and swerved off the road. She’s had 41 surgeries since, but has recovered.
Eva Mendes is 40. Sexy Latina from “Training Day”, “Ghost Rider”, and “The Other Guys”. Her film debut? In 1998, she was in “Children of the Corn Five: Fields of Terror”! Ryan Gosling gets smooth up in that.
Kevin Connolly is 40. Eric on “Entourage”. He used to nail Nicky Hilton in real life.
John Frusciante is 44. Red Hot Chili Peppers genius guitar player.
Dana Lynn is 45. Blonde mattress actress who’s starred in 100 fine films, including . . . “69 Pump Street”, “Amos and Candy”, “Dirty Prancing”, “Hollywood Harlots” and “Secret of My Sex-cess”!
Paul Blackthorne is 45. Detective Quentin Lance on “Arrow”.
Michael Irvin is 48. Legendary wide receiver for the Dallas Cowboys who had many run-ins with MADAM COCAINE. Regardless, he made it into the Football Hall of Fame in 2007 . . . after getting denied TWICE.
Aasif Mandvi is 48. Indian-American correspondent on the “The Daily Show”.
Craig & Charlie Reid from the Proclaimers are 52. Biggest hit: “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)”!
Talia Balsam is 55. Mona Sterling on “Mad Men”. She’s John Slattery’s wife both on and off screen. She’s also the ONLY woman on the planet who can say she was once married to George Clooney.
Penn Jillette is 59. 6-foot-6, 280-pound magician of Penn & Teller. He’s the one who talks. He did “Dancing with the Stars” and “Celebrity Apprentice”.
Marsha Warfield is 60. Roz the chubby Nubian bailiff on “Night Court”! She also played Ophelia in one of the most underrated comedies of all time, 1983’s “D.C. Cab”! “I don’t work for you no how . . . I work for some punk in a ski mask!”
EDDY GRANT! is 66. “ELECTRIC AVENUE” SUPERSTAR!
Murray Head is 68. One hit wonder who sang the 1984 hit “One Night in Bangkok”. He also played Judas on the original “Jesus Christ Superstar” album, featuring Deep Purple singer Ian Gillan as Jesus.
Fred Williamson is 76. Blaxploitation superstar from “Black Caesar” who once played football for the Oakland Raiders and the Kansas City Chiefs. You may also remember him in “From Dusk til Dawn” and as Captain Doby in the “Starsky & Hutch” remake.
Dean Stockwell is 78. Scott Bakula’s “Quantum Leap” buddy. He was also one of the evil cylons on the new version of “Battlestar Galactica” and the title character in the 1973 cinematic classic “Werewolf of Washington”!
Lisa Robin Kelly (1970 – 2013) Overdosed “That ’70s Show” tragedy.
Andy Gibb (1958 – 1988) Bee Gees’ little brother. He loved cocaine more than Victoria Principal AND he hosted “Solid Gold”!) (Cause of Death: Hosting “Solid Gold”! . . . and heart failure.
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 4 days to Daylight Savings
• 12 days to St. Patrick’s Day
• 12 days to Dancing with the Stars
• 27 days to April Fool’s Day
• 30 days to “Captain America 2″
• 1,052 days left of “Hope and Change”
178 years ago . . . In 1836, SAMUEL COLT manufactured his first pistol, the .34 caliber “Texas” model.
146 years ago . . . In 1868, in Birmingham, England, C. H. Gould patented the STAPLER. (Milton from “Office Space” believes you have his.)
80 years ago . . . In 1934, the FIRST MOTHER-IN-LAW’S DAY was celebrated in Amarillo, Texas.
61 years ago . . . In 1953, “Science Digest” magazine hit newsstands with an article called “Why Stalin May Live to Be 100″. JOSEPH STALIN died the same day . . . at age 73.
54 years ago . . . In 1960, Sergeant ELVIS PRESLEY was discharged from the U.S. Army after two years of serving his country.
51 years ago . . . In 1963, the great PATSY CLINE died in a plane crash near Camden, Tennessee.
51 years ago . . . In 1963, ARTHUR “SPUD” MELIN, the co-founder of Wham-O, patented the HULA-HOOP!
41 years ago . . . In 1973, professional baseball’s first-ever WIFE-SWAPPING ensued, when New York Yankees Mike Kekich and Fritz Peterson announced that they’d traded wives during the off-season!
Unfortunately, they weren’t “cool” . . . they were just in love with each other’s wumpties.
33 years ago . . . In 1982, JOHN BELUSHI was found dead in his hotel room at the age of 33. The cause of death was a drug overdose from a “speedball” . . . a lethal injection of cocaine and heroin. Idiot.
25 years ago . . . In 1989, KEVIN KLINE married the gorgeous PHOEBE CATES. She later retired from acting to be a full-time MILF. I miss you, Phoebe!
21 years ago . . . In 1993, former Washington, D.C., mayor MARION BARRY apparently loved crack more than marriage. His neglected wife Effi filed for divorce.
17 years ago . . . In 1997, for some reason, “The Jenny Mccarthy Show” debuted on MTV. Busting her hump all these years really paid off. Now she has a cake job as one of the yentas on “The View”.
15 years ago . . . In 1999, “CRUEL INTENTIONS” was released . . . featuring a very naughty girl-on-girl kiss between SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR and SELMA BLAIR.
10 years ago . . . In 2004, MARTHA STEWART was found guilty of obstruction of justice . . . stemming from her December 2001 sale of her biotech stock IMCLONE. SHE went to prison. And yet none of the scumbags who destroyed our economy were even charged with anything.
Nine years ago . . . In 2005, NICK CARTER GOT ARRESTED FOR DUI.