Your daily dose of WHATEVER!!
Did J-Lo Send Casper Smart Packing With Nothing?
This is way too “soap opera” to be true . . . but it’s still fun to at least PRETEND it happened. The “Star” tabloid says JENNIFER LOPEZ kicked CASPER SMART out . . . and didn’t even let him take anything with him.
A source says she told him, quote, “You came with nothing, you will leave with nothing.” (???)
Did Betty White Make a Play for the Captain of the Love Boat?
BETTY WHITE may be 91 years old, but her NETHER REGIONS need as much attention as ever. In fact, the “National Enquirer” claims she recently tried to conjoin withered groins with the captain of the “Love Boat” himself, GAVIN MCLEOD.
It happened when they got together to film an in-flight safety video for Air New Zealand. She put her hand on his knee and even tried to kiss him. He tried to get away, but she reminded him, quote, “You’ve been hot for me for 40 years.”
When Gavin brought up the inconvenient fact that he’s married, she told him, quote, “That’s your problem. I don’t have a lot of time and you have a sweet ass!” (???) (Gavin is 82.)
Celebrities Who Were Homecoming King and Queen
A list of celebrities who were voted homecoming king or queen includes Dakota Fanning, Bruce Willis, Jessica Simpson, John Belushi . . . and even Andy Dick and Rosie O’Donnell.
Alan Thicke (You can see a picture of Alan when he was pretty young here. We don’t know his exact age in the photo.)
Andy Dick (He actually campaigned under the slogan, “Don’t Vote for a Jock, Vote for A. Dick!” We assume this is a picture of him when he was crowned.)
Bruce Willis (Check him out here.)
Dakota Fanning (Here’s a pic.)
Faith Hill (She definitely looks better now.)
Heather Morris (Here she is with her king.)
Jessica Simpson (Here’s Jessica as a cheerleader back in the day.)
John Belushi (Here’s what John looked like in high school.)
Meg Ryan (Here’s young Meg.)
Meryl Streep (Here’s a pic.)
Paula Abdul (Check out Paula in high school.)
Rashida Jones (Here’s Rashida on her throne.)
Renee Zellweger (Here’s Renee on her big day.)
Robin Wright (Here’s Queen Robin.)
Rosie O’Donnell (She got the nod thanks to her, quote, “humorous look at life.” Here’s a pic.)
“Boy Meets World” Stars Rider Strong and Danielle Fishel Both Got Married This Weekend
“Boy Meets World” stars RIDER STRONG and DANIELLE FISHEL both got married this weekend . . . but not to each other. Prior to the weekend, Rider told “Us Weekly”, quote, “Bad news: Danielle Fishel’s getting married this same weekend, so I’m missing some of my ‘Boy Meets World’ family. That was my fault, she chose the date first.”
Ellen DeGeneres Gave a Waitress $10,000 . . . After She Paid the Tab for Two National Guard Soldiers
On her show Friday, ELLEN DEGENERES surprised a 22-year-old New Hampshire waitress with a $10,000 check. The woman had recently covered the bill for two female National Guard soldiers who weren’t being paid due to the government shutdown.
Zac Efron Spent His Birthday With Robert Pattinson, Joe Jonas and Michael B. Jordan
This is the kind of sausage fest most women would probably want an invite to: ZAC EFRON celebrated his 26th birthday Friday night at the Chateau Marmont in Hollywood . . .
And his companions for the evening were ROBERT PATTINSON, JOE JONAS and MICHAEL B. JORDAN. A source says it was a small celebration, and there were NO WOMEN.
Justin Bieber Touched a Stripper’s Butt
JUSTIN BIEBER hit up a strip club called VLive in Houston on Friday night. And afterward, one of the ladies Tweeted, quote, “He touched my ass I almost fainted.
“I’ve danced for a lot of celebrities and they normally don’t phase me but Justin had me in shock!” (Here’s a censored photo of Justin at the club, with a topless woman in the background.)
Kanye West’s Tour Includes Various Masks, a 60-Foot Mountain and Jesus
KANYE WEST kicked off his “Yeezus” tour in Seattle on Saturday . . . and the show included Kanye wearing various masks, a 60-foot mountain he could stand on . . . and, of course, Jesus, who came out onstage just before Kanye launched into “Jesus Walks”. Kanye, acting surprised, said, quote, “White Jesus, is that you? Oh [crap].”
“Gravity” Is #1 for a Third Week
“Gravity” was the #1 movie at the box office for a third week in a row, after earning another $31 million. None of the other movies even came close to touching that this weekend.
“Captain Phillips” and “Carrie” fought it out for second place, but ultimately TOM HANKS’ pirate movie just edged out the horror remake, $17.3 million to $17 million. And “Escape Plan” came in 5th place with $9.8 million . . . while “The Fifth Estate” made a measly $1.7 million at #8.
Here are this week’s Top 10 movies:
1. “Gravity”, $31 million. Up to $171 million in its 3rd week.
2. “Captain Phillips”, $17.3 million. Up to $53.3 million in its 2nd week
3. (NEW) “Carrie”, $17 million.
4. “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2″, $10.1 million. Up to $93.1 million in its 4th week.
5. (NEW) “Escape Plan”, $9.8 million.
6. “Prisoners”, $2.1 million. Up to $57.3 million in its 5th week.
7. “Enough Said”, $1.8 million. Up to $10.8 million in its 5th week.
8. (NEW) “The Fifth Estate”, $1.7 million.
9. “Runner Runner”, $1.6 million. Up to $17.5 million in its 3rd week.
10. “Insidious Chapter 2″, $1.5 million. Up to $80.9 million in its 6th week.
Last Week’s “Walking Dead” Is Now the Most-Watched Non-Sports Cable Broadcast in History
We knew last week’s fourth season premiere of “The Walking Dead” was big . . . but now, it’s earned a spot in the record books.
According to Nielsen, after three days of DVR-viewing was factored in, they found that a whopping 20.2 million people watched the premiere, which makes it the most-watched non-sports broadcast in cable HISTORY.
The previous record holder was the 2007 Disney Channel movie “High School Musical 2″, which had 18.2 million viewers, after the DVR data was added in.
Naturally, it’s too early to say how last night’s episode did.
Monday TV Reminders:
• “Monday Night Football” . . . 8:30 to 11:30 P.M. Eastern on ESPN. The New York Giants host the Minnesota Vikings at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey.
• “The Voice” [Battle Rounds Part 3] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC.
• “Dancing with the Stars”. . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. Ariana Grande and Mika perform, as the eight remaining couples compete in the switch-up challenge.
• “ET Presents: The Katy Perry Experience” . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on TVGN. Katy Perry discusses her past struggles and her album “Prism”.
• “Basketball Wives” [5th Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on VH1.
• “Crazysexycool: The TLC Story” . . . 9:00 to 11:30 P.M. on VH1. Keke Palmer plays Chilli, Drew Sidora plays T-Boz, and Lil Mama is Lisa Left Eye Lopes in this movie about the girl group TLC.
• “The Blacklist” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. Robert Knepper . . . who you’d know as T-Bag on “Prison Break” . . . guest stars as the next suspect on the list.
• “Castle” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. “Chuck’s” Joshua Gomez guest stars as a murder suspect who claims he’s travelled back in time from the future.
• “Watch What Happens: Live” . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Bravo. Lea Black (“The Real Housewives of Miami”) and Amy Sedaris are guests.
Early Morning Show Guests:
• “The Today Show” – Christie Brinkley, plane crash survivor Hannah Luce (author of “Fields of Grace: Faith, Friendship, and the Day I Nearly Lost Everything”), and former Vice President Dick Cheney.
• “Good Morning America” – Jennifer Morrison (“Once Upon a Time”), Snooki and JWoww, D.L. Hughley, and a “Frasier” cast reunion.
• “CBS This Morning” – Ted Danson (“CSI”), New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg; and authors Peter Baker (“Days of Fire: Bush and Cheney in the White House”) and Peter Schweizer (“Throw Them All Out”).
Mid-Morning Show Guests:
• “Live! With Kelly and Michael” – Ted Danson (“CSI”) and Jennifer Morrison (“Once Upon a Time”).
• “The View” – Author Jacob Tomsky (“Heads in Beds: A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So-Called Hospitality”). “X Factor” judge Paulina Rubio co-hosts.
• “Rachael Ray” – Cee Lo Green (“The Voice”).
This Afternoon On TV:
• “Ellen DeGeneres” – Viola Davis (“Ender’s Game”), plus Snooki performs with her “Dancing with the Stars” partner Sasha Farber.
• “The Talk” – Beth Behrs (“2 Broke Girls”) and Soleil Moon Frye. Music Guest: TLC.
• “Katie Couric” – Former “Idol” contestant Mandisa shows off the latest in Zumba moves. Plus: Women who lost the weight in order to get back at those who ridiculed them.
• “Queen Latifah Show” – Josh Bowman (“Revenge”) and Dolly Parton.
• “Steve Harvey” – Advice on temper tantrums from“America’s Supernanny” Deborah Tillman.
• “Dr. Phil” – “Dad’s Wife is Ruining Our Life” – Twin daughters who can’t stand their stepmom and resent their father for not mourning their mother’s death.
• “Dr. Oz Show” – No guests listed yet. Check your local listings.
• “Wendy Williams” – Laz Alonso (“Deception”) andHaylie Duff for her cookbook “The Real Girl’s Kitchen”.
• “Bethenny” – Jennie Garth and body language expert Janine Driver.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “Letterman” – Toni Collette (“Hostages”) and Alec Baldwin. (REPEAT)
• “Jimmy Kimmel” - James Franco (“The Mindy Project”) and Snoop Lion.
• “The Tonight Show” – Michael Douglas (“Last Vegas”) and Larry the Cable Guy (“Only in America with Larry the Cable Guy”). Music Guest: Thomas Rhett.
• “Jimmy Fallon” – Alec Baldwin and “Entourage’s” Kevin Connolly. Music Guests: Chris Cornell with The Avett Brothers.
• “Carson Daly” – The Pack A.D. and a look at the play “Humor Abuse“. Music Guest: Tomahawk.
• “Arsenio” – Kevin Hart and Duane Martin (“Real Husbands of Hollywood”), plus Bobby Brown. Music Guest: Fifth Harmony.
• “Conan” – Ethan Hawke, comedian Pete Holmes, and Tedeschi Trucks Band.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Jay Leno, model Elettra Wiedemann, and comedienne Cameron Esposito. (REPEAT)
• “Chelsea Lately” – Snooki and JWoww.
• “Jon Stewart” – Author Alan Greenspan (“The Map and the Territory: Risk, Human Nature, and the Future of Forecasting”).
• “The Colbert Report” – Music Guest: Arcade Fire.
Katy Perry’s New Album Is Streaming Online in Its Entirety
KATY PERRY’S new album, “Prism”, comes out TOMORROW . . . but you can check it out early, because the whole thing is streaming on her site, KatyPerry.com.
What’s the Most Unprofessional Thing You’ve Done at Work?
What’s the most unprofessional thing you’ve ever done at work? A few we like are a guy who intentionally locked his boss in a walk-in freezer but managed to convince him it was an accident . . . a hotel clerk who comped the honeymoon suite to himself for a date . . . and a guy who did critical work on his company’s computer servers while he was on prescription ketamine.
1. “I worked at a place that hosted wedding receptions and caught a coworker napping under a table. I put the tablecloth over it, put the wedding cake on it, and he couldn’t escape . . . so he was stuck under there for the entire reception.”
2. “I had to do major work on my company’s computer servers where one mistake could’ve wiped them out . . . and I did them while I was still messed up from a prescription ketamine infusion that morning.”
3. “I locked my boss in a walk-in freezer. I was able to convince him it was an accident. It was not.”
4. “I work at a hotel. One night I marked the honeymoon suite as comped and spent the night up there, in the Jacuzzi, with free wine and the cute bartender.”
5. “I got the new KANYE WEST album, wanted to listen to it at work, and played it out loud on my stereo . . . while my four-year-old students were having nap time.” (Reddit)
The Fashion Items Women Can’t Live Without Include Uggs and White Jeans?
There’s a new survey on the FIFTY fashion items women can’t live without . . . which doesn’t exactly narrow things down. The list includes black leggings, white jeans, Uggs, a giant purse, Spanx, a jean jacket . . . and a fake fur coat.
A Map of the Weird Things Each Country Leads the World In
There’s a new map online that shows the weird things each country leads the world in. Russia leads the world in raspberries and nuclear warheads . . . Cameroon leads the world in killer lakes . . . and the U.S. leads the world in Nobel laureates AND people getting killed by lawnmowers.
A Man Is Losing Weight With an Oktoberfest ‘Sausage and Beer Only’ Diet
There’s a guy in Arizona who’s doing an Oktoberfest diet, where he has nothing but SAUSAGE and BEER for the entire month of October. He takes in about 2,100 calories in beer and sausages every day . . . and he hopes he’ll drop about 14 POUNDS.
It Takes Every Animal the Exact Same Amount of Time to Pee?
Believe it or not, it takes all mammals the same amount of time to PEE. Scientists found that it takes 21 seconds to pee . . . and larger animals with larger bladders go faster because they have larger urethras. Humans are the exception, because we can regulate our flow and speed.
The 10 College Majors Who Have the Most Sex
According to a new study, college students who major in drama or theater have the highest average number of SEX PARTNERS in college . . . 28, or seven a year. The other majors with the highest sex numbers are dance, public relations, biology, and philosophy.
1. Drama/theater, 28 sexual partners.
2. Dance, 25.
3. Media studies/public relations, 22.
4. Biology, 19.
5. Philosophy and ethics, 17.
6. English, 15.
7. Sports science, 13.
8. Art history, 13.
9. Pre-law, 11.
10. Geography, 10. (FemaleFirst)
A Guy is Suing the Police Because They Busted Him for Having Blue Meth . . . and it Was Just Jolly Ranchers
Back in June, cops in New York busted a 25-year-old man with some crystallized blue rocks . . . possibly similar to the BLUE METH from “Breaking Bad”. He was strip searched and arrested . . . but the blue rocks turned out to be JOLLY RANCHERS. So the charges were dropped, but now he’s suing.
A Walmart Employee Was Fired For Helping Save a Woman From an Assault . . . Now He’s Been Offered His Job Back
Last week, a 30-year-old Walmart employee stopped a man from beating up a woman in the parking lot. And Walmart responded by . . . FIRING HIM. They said they don’t want their employees getting in situations where they could be hurt. After people were OUTRAGED, Walmart offered the guy his job back . . . but now he says he’s not sure if he wants it.
Aaron Tveit – 30 (Mike Warren on “Graceland”.)
Kim Kardashian And Her Bountiful Backside – 33
Jeremy Miller – 37 (Hairless Ben on “Growing Pains”.)
Sasha Roiz – 40 (Captain Renard on “Grimm”.)
Ken Watanabe – 54 (“Inception”, “Memoirs of a Geisha” and “The Last Samurai”.)
Steve Lukather – 56 (Toto guitarist.)
Carrie Fisher – 57 (PRINCESS LEIA. Classic “Star Wars” moment: As Luke Skywalker returns from destroying the Death Star, Leia welcomes him by shouting, “Luke!” And Luke, in turn, says, “Carrie!” True. Check it out.)
Charlotte Caffey – 60 (Saucy Go-Go’s guitarist.)
Patti Davis – 61 (Ronnie and Nancy Reagan’s VERY naughty daughter.)
Judge Judy Sheindlin – 71 (Mature minx on “Judge Judy”.)
Manfred Mann – 73 (“Do Wah Diddy” AND “Blinded by the Light”.)
Edward “Whitey” Ford – 85 (Baseball Hall of Famer. He pitched 22 games in 11 World Series . . . and holds Series records for 10 wins and 94 strikeouts.)
Joyce Randolph – 89 (Trixie, Ed Norton’s wife on “The Honeymooners”.)
Tamara De Treaux – (1959 – 1990) (31-inch tall actress who played “E.T.”.)
Alfred Bernhard Nobel – (1833 – 1896) (Established a fund for the Nobel Prizes. He made his fortune by inventing TNT. DY-NO-MITE.)
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 10 days until Halloween
• 13 days until Daylight Savings Ends
• 18 days to “Thor: The Dark World”
• 38 days until Thanksgiving
• 65 days until Thanksgiving
• 1,187 days left of “Hope and Change”
134 years ago . . . in 1879 – THOMAS EDISON turned on the FIRST WORKING LIGHT BULB in Menlo Park, New Jersey. It burned out after 40 hours.
95 years ago . . . in 1918 – MARGARET OWEN of New York City set a TYPING SPEED RECORD on a manual typewriter: 170 WORDS PER MINUTE . . . with NO errors!
52 years ago . . . in 1961 – BOB DYLAN recorded his first album . . . called “Bob Dylan”. It cost $400 to produce and it only took him a day to finish . . . obviously.
41 years ago . . . in 1972 – The very best album to pimp-walk to . . . CURTIS “DAMN” MAYFIELD‘S soundtrack from “Superfly”, featuring “Freddie’s Dead”, hit #1 on the album charts!
38 years ago . . . in 1975 – “MY DING-A-LING” became CHUCK BERRY‘Sfirst #1 record.
38 years ago . . . in 1975 – In Game 6 of the World Series, in the bottom of the 12th inning, Boston Red Sox catching chubby CARLTON FISK hit a ball deep to left field and “willed” it fair for the game-winning home run. But the Cincinnati Reds beat the Red Sox in Game 7.
21 years ago . . . in 1992 - A report prepared for the LOS ANGELES POLICE commission made an amazing discovery . . . that the city was unprepared to handle the RIOTING that broke out the previous spring, and had responded INADEQUATELY.
20 years ago . . . in 1993 – MADONNA’S literary masterpiece, “SEX”, went on sale for $49.95.
18 years ago . . . in 1995 – The talented and selfish junkie SHANNON HOON of BLIND MELON died of a heroin overdose. THE DRAGON DON’T CHASE ITSELF!
10 years ago . . . in 2003 - FRED “RERUN” BERRY, of “What’s Happening!” fame, died at 52.
10 years ago . . . in 2003 - Florida Governor JEB BUSH invoked the hastily passed “Terri’s Law” and ordered that a feeding tube be reinserted into the brain-damaged TERRI SCHIAVO.
(Her feeding tube was removed for the third and final time on March 18th, 2005. She died two weeks later, on March 31st.)
10 years ago . . . in 2003 - A guy named Kirk Jones became the FIRST PERSON TO SURVIVE GOING OVER NIAGARA FALLS WITHOUT SAFETY DEVICES. He was charged with illegally performing a stunt.
8 years ago . . . in 2005 – SADDAM HUSSEIN’S defense lawyer (a guy named Saadoun Sughaiyer al-Janabi) was found murdered in Baghdad with two gunshots to the head just two days after the trial began. DON’T DEFEND SADDAM HUSSEIN!