Your daily dose of Whatever!!

Watch Justin Bieber Try to Pick Up a Model by Telling Her She Looks Like Princess Jasmine from "Aladdin" 

JUSTIN BIEBER was being driven down Rodeo Drive in a Rolls-Royce when he spotted a sexy minx on the sidewalk, and he made the driver stop right there.  The woman turned out to be a model named JACQUELINE YOUNIS, and Justin tried to sweet-talk her by telling her she looks like Princess Jasmine from "Aladdin".  Then they took a picture together.

Prince Harry . . . Is Lindsay Lohan Trying to Hit That? 

While LINDSAY LOHAN is doing theater in London, sources say she's also hoping to hook up with PRINCE HARRY so she can be a PRINCESS.  A source says, quote, "Lindsay loves that she and Harry are both redheads. She talks about how they'd make the most adorable kids."  Her rep denies it, of course.

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

 

 

1.  ROBIN WILLIAMS' daughter ZELDA got a new tattoo in honor of her dad.  It's a hummingbird at the base of her thumb, and his birthdate on the inside of her wrist.

 

 

She didn't explain the significance of the bird, but she said, quote, "I'll always put my hand out to shake with a smile."

 

 

 

2.  KHLOE KARDASHIAN stepped out showing more KLEAVAGE than she wanted to.

 

 

 

3.  SHAKIRA calls her baby bump her "new favorite accessory."

 

 

 

4.  Here's CALUM HOOD from 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER shirtless.

 

 

 

5.  This BEHATI PRINSLOO lingerie photo shoot makes me want very badly to be Adam Levine.

 

 

 

6.  It's never the wrong time to look at J-LO's booty.  At least that's my policy.  It doesn't have to be yours.

 

 

 

7.  JASON SUDEIKIS and OLIVIA WILDE celebrated the Kanas City Royals' Game Two World Series win with a kiss.

 

Jeff Bridges Says His Enemies Would Say He's Only Famous Because of Nepotism . . . And Reveals That He Soiled Himself Several Years Ago 

JEFF BRIDGES was recently asked how his ENEMIES would describe him.  He responded, quote, "They probably would say, 'That Jeff Bridges is so full of himself, and is a product of nepotism.  He's in showbiz and acting because his father gave him all of his early breaks . . . he's really high-minded.'"

Conan O'Brien Got Into a Hilarious Twitter War with Madeleine Albright 

CONAN O'BRIEN got into a hilarious Twitter war with former Secretary of State MADELEINE ALBRIGHT, after he said his Halloween costume this year was going to be a "slutty Madeleine Albright."  She replied, quote, "I'm considering going as hunky Conan O'Brien, but that might be too far-fetched."

Chris Rock Says Tracy Morgan Is Doing OK, But He's Still Traumatized 

 

 

CHRIS ROCK says TRACY MORGAN is still recovering from the accident that killed his friend . . . and almost did in Tracy himself.  But he's not over it mentally.

 

 

Quote, "He's OK.  I saw him not too long ago . . . He was very happy.  He's got physical therapists.  There's a lot of rehab going on.  He's traumatized . . . his friend died."

 

 

Chris and Tracy star together in the comedy "Top Five", which will hit theaters in December.

Kristen Stewart is Taking a Break From Movies to Make Other Kinds of Art 

 

 

If you're sick of seeing KRISTEN STEWART's sour face all over the place, I have good news for you:  She's going to disappear for a while.  She says, quote, "I'm taking some time off because I've been working for two years.

 

 

"I'm an actor and that's my art form, and because I started that so young, I've always felt intimidated and insufficient when I think about other forms of art I want to create."

 

 

"I'm going to buy a live-work space in downtown L.A. and I'm going to make some [stuff] with my hands.  Literally, I made that decision a few weeks ago."

"Ouija" and the Keanu Reeves Movie "John Wick" Are Out This Weekend

 

 

1.  "John Wick"  (R)  Trailer

 

 

Keanu Reeves as a retired hitman who goes on a killing spree against the Russian mafia so he can get revenge on the guys who broke into his house, killed his dog, and beat the crap out of him with baseball bats . . . just to steal his car.

 

 

The guy who plays Theon Greyjoy on "Game of Thrones" (actor Alfie Allen) is the idiot who sets everything in motion.  In this, he's the son of a Russian mob boss.  And Adrianne Palicki plays an assassin they send to kill Keanu once they realize who he is.

 

 

John Leguizamo, Ian McShane, Willem Dafoe, and Allstate pitchman Dean Winters are also in it.  And, get this . . . it's actually directed by Keanu's stunt double in "The Matrix" . . . a guy named Chad Stahelski.

 

 

 

2.  "Ouija"  (PG-13)  Trailer

 

 

Olivia Cooke from "Bates Motel" stars in this horror thriller about a group of teenagers who summon an evil spirit through an ancient Ouija board after it's killed their friend.

 

Two other familiar faces in the cast are Shelly Hennig, the chick who plays Malia on "Teen Wolf" . . . and Daren Kagasoff, the guy who knocked up Shailene Woodley on "Secret Life of the American Teenager".

3.  "23 Blast"  (PG-13)  Trailer

 

 

Mark Hapka from "Days of Our Lives" plays a high school football player learning how to play again after losing his sight overnight.  Before he lost his vision he was a receiver, but now that he's blind the coach teaches him how to play center.

 

 

Stephen Lang plays his coach.  You'd know him best as the bad guy from "Avatar".

 

 

 

4.  "St. Vincent" expands nationwide.  (PG-13)  Trailer

It's been playing in larger markets for the past two weeks.

 

 

Bill Murray plays a retiree who agrees to take care of his neighbor's 12-year-old son while she's at work.  Melissa McCarthy is the boy's mom, Naomi Watts is a stripper friend of Bill's, and Chris O'Dowd is a teacher at the boy's Catholic school.

 

 

 

5.  And now, some limited releases you may or may not care about:

 

 

"Laggies" is a romantic comedy starring Keira Knightley as a woman who panics after a marriage proposal and hides from life by staying with Chloe Grace Moretz, an underage girl she bought beer for.  Sam Rockwell plays Chloe's dad. (Trailer)

 

 

"White Bird in a Blizzard" stars Shailene Woodley as a teenager coming to grips with her own sexuality when her mother suddenly disappears without a trace.  Eva Green plays her mom and Christopher Meloni is her father.  (Trailer)

• Friday: Game 3 of the "World Series" . . . 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. Eastern on Fox.  The San Francisco Giants host the Kansas City Royals for the next three games.  Game 4 will be tomorrow and Game 5 is on Sunday.

 

• Friday: The season premiere of "Alpha House" is streaming today on Amazon Prime.

 

• Friday: The fourth season premiere of "Grimm" . . . from 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC.

 

• Friday:  The series premiere of "Constantine" . . . from 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC.  British actor Matt Ryan stars as the demon hunter Keanu Reeves played in the movie.  Harold Perrineau from "Lost" is also in it as the angel assigned to watch over him.

 

• Saturday:  "Austin City Limits" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on PBS.  Tweedy performs.

 

• Saturday:  "The Graham Norton Show" . . . from 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. Eastern on BBC America.  Robert Downey Jr., Robert Duvall, and a performance from U2.

 

"Saturday Night Live" . . . from 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC.  Jim Carrey hosts and Iggy Azalea performs.

 

• Sunday:  "Sunday Night Football" . . . from 5:30 to 8:30 P.M. Eastern on NBC.  The New Orleans Saints host the Green Bay Packers.

 

• Sunday:  The series finale of "Boardwalk Empire" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on HBO.

 

• Sunday:  "The Walking Dead" . . . from 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on AMC.

 

• Sunday:  "Where Are They Now?" . . . from 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on OWN.  The cast of "A Different World" reunites.

 

• Sunday:  "Death Comes to Pemberley" [Part 1 of 2] . . . from 9:00 to 10:30 P.M. on PBS.  This is a murder mystery sequel to "Pride and Prejudice".  It stars Matthew Rhys, from the FX spy drama "The Americans", as Mr. Darcy.  Part 2 airs next week.

Tonight's Late Night Talk Shows:

 

 

"The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon" - Claire Danes, Mo'ne Davis, Fences featuring Macklemore.  (Repeat)

 

 

"Late Night with Seth Meyers" - Sarah Silverman, and John Mulaney.  (Repeat)

 

 

"Letterman" - Jerry Seinfeld, and a performance from Cirque du Soleil's "Michael Jackson One".  (Repeat)

 

 

"Jimmy Kimmel" - Shia LaBeouf, Michelle Monaghan and T.I.

 

 

"Carson Daly" - Melissa Fumero, the Front Bottoms, and "Last Hijack".  (Repeat)

 

 

"Craig Ferguson" - Tenacious D.

 

Five Random Facts For Friday

1.  Teddy bears, which were named after Teddy Roosevelt, were a huge hit.  So a toy company tried to recreate the formula with the next president, William Howard Taft, and sold stuffed possums called Billy Possums.  They did not catch on.

 

 

2.  A golden retriever named Buddy played Comet on "Full House" and ALSO played Air Bud in the first "Air Bud" movie.  He died in 1998 at age 12.

 

 

3.  Chris Farley was the original voice of Shrek and had recorded about 90% of the dialogue when he died.  The producers decided not to use an impersonator to finish and recast Mike Myers in the role.

 

 

4.  There are 20 possible answers in a Magic 8-Ball.  Ten of the options give you a YES to your question, five give you a NO, and five say the 8-Ball is uncertain.  So when you ask it a question, there's only a 25% chance you'll get a "no."

 

 

5.  Fiat is actually an acronym . . . it stands for Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino, which means Italian automobile factory of Turin.

 

 

The Eight Weirdest Sick Day Excuses People Have Used This Year

According to a new CareerBuilder survey, the craziest sick day excuses people have used this year include, "I accidentally got on a plane" . . . "I got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store" . . . and "I was at a casino all weekend, and still have money left to play with."

1.  "I just put a casserole in the oven."

 

2.  "My legs fell asleep in the bathroom.  Then I stood up, fell, and broke my ankle."

 

3.  "I was at a casino all weekend, and still have money left to play with."

 

4.  "I woke up in a good mood and don't want to ruin it."

 

5.  "I hooked up with someone at their place last night, and I don't know where I am."

 

6.  "I got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store."

 

7.  "I tried to dry my uniform in the microwave, and it caught fire."

 

8.  "I accidentally got on a plane."  (PR Newswire)

 

Public Speaking Is Only Our Fifth Biggest Fear Now . . . Here Are the Top Five

According to a new survey, walking down the street alone at night is now our biggest fear, followed by identity theft . . . lack of safety on the Internet . . . mass shootings . . . and public speaking.

1.  Walking alone at night.  20% of people said they feel "not safe at all" doing it.

 

2.  Identity theft.  19.6% said they're VERY afraid of it happening to them.

 

3.  Lack of safety on the Internet.  11% of us feel unsafe when we're online.

 

4.  Mass shootings.  8.9% said they're legitimately afraid they could be a victim.

 

5.  Public speaking.  8.8% of us are "very afraid" of doing it.

 

 

The survey also asked what people WORRY about the most, which is slightly different.

 

 

For that question, the top five answers were:  Identity theft . . . companies tracking our Internet activity . . . running out of money . . . the GOVERNMENT tracking Internet activity . . . and coming down with a serious illness.

 

 

54% of Americans Believe in Ghosts, and 13% Say They've Lived in a House That Was Haunted

:  A new survey on paranormal activity found that 54% of Americans believe in ghosts . . . 41% think aliens are visiting Earth . . . 21% believe in Bigfoot . . . and 17% think fortunetellers can see the future.

 

How to Avoid Going Home with a Douchebag

Jezebel.com put together a list to help women avoid going home with a douchebag.  It includes avoiding men who dress too trendy . . . and guys who won't give out their last name or phone number.

A Drunk Guy Takes a Shortcut So His Wife Won't Be Mad He's Late . . . and Falls Into a Tank of Raw Sewage

A 42-year-old guy at a bar in China recently got in trouble with his wife for staying out late.  So he started walking home, cut through a sewage treatment plant to get there faster . . . and fell into a tank of RAW SEWAGE.  Someone eventually rescued him.  But his wife says she was even angrier when he showed up late AND covered in sewage.

11 Bad Combinations of Household Products

Check out a list of household products you should never mix:  Rubbing alcohol and bleach, which creates chloroform . . . baking soda and vinegar, which just makes water, so it doesn't clean anything . . . and Tylenol and alcohol, which can cause liver damage.

Shenae Grimes is 25.  Sexy Annie Wilson on the new "90210" and Trudie in "Scream 4".

 

 

Drake is 28.  Canadian actor from "Degrassi: The Next Generation" turned superstar pop rapper.  Real name:  Aubrey Drake Graham.

 

 

Adrienne Bailon is 31"Cheetah Girls" MINX who is now trying to make it as a solo artist.  She's starring opposite Ja Rule in "I'm in Love With a Church Girl".

Katie McGrath is 31.  Morgana on NBC's "Merlin", and Lucy in NBC's "Dracula".

 

 

Tila Tequila is 33.  She became famous thanks to MySpace.  And people wonder why that site crashed and burned.

 

 

Monica is 34.  Young urban troubadour.  The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice.  I find no trouble with juicy-doubles.

 

 

Scott Peterson is 42.  Murderous A-HOLE.

 

 

Mattress actress Stephanie Rage is 50.  She's starred in 164 fine films including . . . "The Horneymooners", "Very Dirty Dancing", "National Poontang's Summer Vacation" AND "Days of Our Wives".

 

 

Mary Bono is 53.  She became a California Congresswoman after her husband Sonny skied into a tree and died.

 

B.D. WONG is 54.  Father Ray Mukada on HBO's "Oz", Martin Short's assistant in the "Father of the Bride" movies and the Asiatic shrink on "Law & Order:  SVU".

 

 

Kweisi Mfume is 66.  Former CEO of the NAACP.  His name means Conquering Son of Kings.  Birth name:  Frizzell Gray.

 

 

Kevin Kline is 67.  He gets to nail Phoebe Cates ANYTIME HE WANTS TO.

 

 

SANTO FARINA! is 77.  The Santo of Santo & Johnny!  "Sleep Walk" is one of the greatest instrumental songs of all time.

 

In the summer of 1964, that song was on the car radio . . . as my 17-year-old pseudo-cholo father . . . thrust himself atop my innocent 16-year-old French-Canadian mother . . . thus creating an interracial zygote . . . that would eventually create THE MOST POWERFUL SHOW PREP ON THE PLANET!  (Ohhh, YOU STFU!)

 

 

Bill Wyman is 78.  Former Rolling Stones bassist.  He likes his ladies young . . . REAL young.

 

 

David Nelson  (1936 - 2011)  Matthew and Gunnar's uncle.  He's also Ricky Nelson's brother . . . and 70-year-old Chuck Woolery's former FATHER-IN-LAW.

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• 7 days to Halloween

• 9 days to Daylight Saving Ends

• 27 days to the American Smoke Out

• 34 days to Thanksgiving Day

• 62 days to Christmas

• 819 days left of "Hope and Change"

44 years ago . . . In 1970, PRESIDENT NIXON asked record companies to reduce the number of songs containing lyrics about sex and drugs.  His request is still being honored today.

 

 

41 years ago . . . In 1973, "Kojak", starring TELLY SAVALAS, debuted on CBS.  WHO LOVES YOU, BABY?  (He was JENNIFER ANISTON'S godfather, too.)

 

 

36 years ago . . . In 1978, KEITH RICHARDS was convicted in Canada of HEROIN POSSESSION, for which he received a one-year suspended sentence and was ordered to play a charity concert for the blind.

 

 

(DON'T TAKE DRUGS . . . unless you're a rich and famous rock star who can afford to buy justice and continue your life of debauchery without suffering any consequences like average hard-working men and women.)

 

 

34 years ago . . . In 1980, "The David Letterman Show" last aired on NBC DAYTIME.  It won two Emmys the following May and returned on NBC's late-night schedule in February of 1982.

 

 

25 years ago . . . In 1989, televangelist REVEREND JIM BAKKER was sentenced to 45 years in prison and fined $500,000 for his conviction on 24 counts of FRAUD and CONSPIRACY stemming from his P.T.L. (Praise The Lord) ministry.

 

 

(In 1991, an appeals court reduced the sentence to 18 years.  But in 1994, Jim Bakker was paroled after serving just under five years in prison.)

 

 

(When confronted about the missing $158,000,000, he claimed that Satan had gotten into his ministry's computers to make the money lost.  When asked if he could prove Satan stole the money, he replied, "Can you prove he didn't?")

 

 

(Look what this wicked a-hole is up to nowadays . . . "The New Jim Bakker Show" . . . http://www.jimbakkershow.com/)

25 years ago . . . In 1989, ZSA ZSA GABOR was sentenced to 72 hours in jail, 120 hours of community service and nearly $13,000 in fines and court costs for SLAPPING a traffic cop.

 

 

23 years ago . . . In 1991, "Star Trek" genius GENE RODDENBERRY died at the age of 70.

 

 

17 years ago . . . In 1997, THE HILARIOUS DOCUMENTARY "TREKKIES" WAS RELEASED.

 

 

(You MUST watch it for the kid who rolls down the street in his homemade, full-body Life Support Chair just like the one used by Captain Pike from the original series.  That kid rules.)

 

 

(Here's a picture of the disabled Captain Pike, if you don't know what I'm talking about.)

 

 

17 years ago . . . In 1997, DON MESSICK, the voice of Papa Smurf, Scooby-Doo, Astro on "The Jetsons", Bamm-Bamm on "The Flinstones", AND BOO BOO BEAR on "Help!  It's The Hair Bear Bunch", died at the age of 71.

 

 

17 years ago . . . In 1997, MARV ALBERT was spared a jail sentence after he apologized in court for BITING HIS LOVER'S BACK during some VERY taboo relations.

 

 

Nine years ago . . . In 2005, Civil Rights pioneer ROSA PARKS died at the age of 92.

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