Your daily dose of WHATEVER!!
Does Arnold Schwarzenegger Have Women Come to His House to Service Him Five Times a Day?
TOM ARNOLD says that ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER needs it FIVE TIMES A DAY . . . and he has “female companions” who come to his house to take care of his needs. His home is also frequently populated by MUSCLE MEN who work out in their underwear on his front lawn.
Is George Clooney Going After Katie Holmes?
The British tabloids say KATIE HOLMES and GEORGE CLOONEY might have something going on, after hitting it off at a dinner party. A source says, quote, “Katie really has her sights set on him. There is a genuine connection . . . They are enjoying their new flirtation.” Meanwhile, JAMIE FOXX denies rumors that HE’S dating Katie
Lesbian Catfight! Ellen is Mad at Jodie Foster for Dating Her Ex
ELLEN DEGENERES is reportedly upset that JODIE FOSTER is dating her ex-girlfriend. A source says, quote, “Ellen is extraordinarily competitive, so it pains her to see Alex moving on with someone as successful and talented as Jodie. Ellen is also vindictive, and she’s spreading the word among mutual friends that Jodie is pathetic for picking up her cast-off.”
Interracial Catfight! Whoopi Goldberg Resents Mary Steenburgen for Marrying Ted Danson
WHOOPI GOLDBERG has reportedly been holding an 18-year grudge against MARY STEENBURGEN for marrying TED DANSON. Whoopi and Ted dated for about a year after they did the movie “Made in America” together, and a source says, quote, “For Whoopi, Ted is the one that got away.”
Ivanka Trump Had Her Baby
IVANKA TRUMP gave birth to a baby boy yesterday morning. This is the second child for Ivanka and her husband Jared Kushner. They named him Joseph Frederick Kushner, after Jared’s grandfather Joseph and Ivanka’s grandfather Frederick.
Is Miley Cyrus Dating the Son of “Rolling Stone” Founder Jann Wenner?
Radar Online claims that MILEY CYRUS is dating THEO WENNER . . . the son of “Rolling Stone” founder JANN WENNER.
A source says, quote, “Miley talks about how hot Theo is and how nice he’s been to her. She’s definitely completely in lust with him . . . She said she’s never met anyone as sweet as Theo.”
Theo is 26 . . . and he previously dated LIV TYLER, who’s 10 years older. (Miley turns 21 next month. Check out a picture of Theo here.)
Is Donald Glover Crying for Help on Instagram?
DONALD GLOVER from “Community” posted a series of messages on Instagram that are making people wonder if he’s crying for HELP. He said things like, quote, “I feel like I’m letting everyone down. I’m afraid people hate who I really am . . . I’m afraid I’m here for nothing.” There’s no word yet why he did it.
Someone Paid $749,000 for Kim Kardashian’s Old Engagement Ring
KRIS HUMPHRIES finally unloaded the engagement ring he gave to KIM KARDASHIAN. It was auctioned off at Christie’s in New York for $749,000.
Kris will pocket $620,000. The rest is the auction house’s cut. The ring was reportedly worth $2 million when Kris bought it. (Here’s a picture.)
Mark Wahlberg Says Greedy People Are Keeping an “Entourage” Movie From Happening
People have been talking about an “Entourage” movie ever since the show went off the air in 2011. So what’s the hold-up?
The paparazzi asked executive producer MARK WAHLBERG when the movie’s coming out, and he said, quote, “As soon as them guys stop being so greedy.” (Here’s video.)
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler Are Returning to Host the Next Two “Golden Globes” Ceremonies
TINA FEY and AMY POEHLER are returning to host the next two “Golden Globes” ceremonies. They hosted this year’s show, back in January . . . and were a big hit. The 2014 “Golden Globes” will go down on January 12th.
(You can revisit their amusing monologue on YouTube.)
Lady Gaga Is Teaming Up with The Muppets for an ABC Holiday Special
LADY GAGA recently filmed a holiday special for ABC, which also features THE MUPPETS. There aren’t any further details . . . other than that it will air sometime later this year.
Lady Gaga has a history with The Muppets. Kermit the Frog was her date to the 2009 “MTV Video Music Awards”, and she once wore an outfit made out of plush Kermit toys.
She also filmed a cameo for the 2011 “Muppets” movie . . . but it didn’t end up making the final cut.
“The Walking Dead” Came in Fourth in the Ratings . . . Plus Ratings for Seven Other Season Premieres and Two New Shows
The fourth season premiere of “The Walking Dead” came in fourth place in the ratings, with its record-breaking 16.1 million viewers.
Last week also saw the return of seven other shows, as well as the premieres of two new series, ABC’s “Once Upon a Time in Wonderland” and the CW’s “The Tomorrow People”. Here are the top 20 shows:
1. “Sunday Night Football”, NBC, 22.1 million viewers. The Dallas Cowboys beat the Washington Redskins, 31-16.
2. “NCIS”, CBS, 18.3 million viewers.
3. “The Big Bang Theory”, CBS, 17.6 million viewers.
4. The fourth season premiere of “The Walking Dead”, AMC, 16.1 million viewers
5. “NCIS: Los Angeles”, CBS, 14.8 million viewers.
6. Monday’s episode of “The Voice”, NBC, 14.6 million viewers.
7. “The OT”, Fox, 14.1 million viewers.
8. “Dancing with the Stars”, ABC, 13 million viewers.
9. “Football Night in America”, NBC, 11.8 million viewers.
10. “The Millers”, CBS, 11.7 million viewers.
11. “Person of Interest”, CBS, 11.7 million viewers.
12. “Monday Night Football”, ESPN, 11.4 million viewers. The Atlanta Falcons beat the New York Jets, 30-28.
13. “The Blacklist”, NBC, 11.2 million viewers.
14. “Criminal Minds”, CBS, 11 million viewers.
15. “Modern Family”, ABC, 10.6 million viewers.
16. “60 Minutes”, CBS, 10.6 million viewers.
17. “Blue Bloods”, CBS, 10.6 million viewers.
18. “Castle”, ABC, 10.5 million viewers.
19. Tuesday’s episode of “The Voice”, NBC, 10.2 million viewers.
20. “The Crazy Ones”, CBS, 9.7 million viewers.
As for the premieres of last week’s two new series:
• The “Once Upon A Time in Wonderland” series premiere had 5.8 million viewers. That may seem decent, but there’s already talk about that it might be canceled soon.
• The series premiere of the CW’s “The Tomorrow People” had 2.3 million viewers. It stars a guy named Robbie Amell, who’s the cousin of “Arrow” star Stephen Amell.
Here’s how the other season premieres did in the ratings last week:
• The 3rd season premiere of “American Horror Story: Coven” debuted to a record 5.5 million viewers on FX. That’s up 44% from the previous season high.
• The 8th season premiere of “Pawn Star$” had 3.2 million viewers.
• The 2nd season premiere of “Arrow” had 2.7 million viewers.
• The 9th season premiere of “Supernatural” had 2.6 million viewers.
• The 3rd season premiere of AMC’s “Comic Book Men” had 1.1 million viewers.
• The 3rd season premiere of the CW’s “Hart of Dixie” had 1 million viewers.
• The 2nd season premiere of “Beauty and the Beast” had 860,000 viewers.
Wednesday TV Reminders:
• “Toy Story of Terror!” . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on ABC. This “Toy Story” Halloween special puts Woody and Buzz in a version of the Agatha Christie mystery “And Then There Were None”. It also pays homage to “Psycho” and “Friday the 13th”.
• “Arrow” . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on the CW. Michael Jai White from “For Better or Worse” begins a recurring role as the Bronze Tiger.
• “The Cast of Frasier: Where Are They Now” . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on TVGN.
• “Toddlers & Tiaras” [6th Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on TLC.
• “Schooled: The Price of College Sports” . . . 8:00 to 9:30 P.M. on Epix. Sam Rockwell narrates this documentary as some of the biggest names in sports speak out against the NCAA’s treatment of its student athletes and its shameful practices.
• “Cheer Perfection” [2nd Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TLC.
• “South Park” . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Comedy Central. The Goth kids team up with their sworn enemies the Vamp kids when their very existence is threatened.
• “Bad Ink” [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on A&E.
• “Watch What Happens: Live” . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Bravo. Rachael Ray, “The Chew’s” Carla Hall, and Jessica Seinfeld for her cookbook “The Can’t Cook Book: Recipes for the Absolutely Terrified!” are guests.
Early Morning Show Guests:
• “The Today Show” – Brad Pitt (“12 Years a Slave” and “The Counselor”), Dulé Hill (“Psych”), Fantasia Barrino, author Helen Fielding (“Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy”), and chef Chuck Hughes. Music Guest: Scotty McCreery.
• “Good Morning America” – Sylvester Stallone (“Escape Plan”), Jared Leto (“Dallas Buyers Club”), and Nicki Minaj pimps her new fashion line.
• “CBS This Morning” – Anna Faris (“Mom”), author Scott Turow (“Identical”), and former Shell Oil CEO John Hofmeister.
Mid-Morning Show Guests:
• “Live! With Kelly and Michael” – Music Guest: Elton John.
• “The View” – The cast of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”. Music Guest: TLC. Soleil Moon Frye co-hosts.
• “Rachael Ray” – Connie Britton (“Nashville”) and chef Sunny Anderson.
This Afternoon On TV:
• “Ellen DeGeneres” – Rosie Perez (“The Counselor”), plus Owen Wilson and Woody Harrelson (“Free Birds”).
• “The Talk” – David Boreanaz (“Bones”) and chef Peggy Kotsopoulos (“Peggy K’s Kitchen Cures”).
• “Katie Couric” – Benedict Cumberbatch (“12 Years a Slave”) and Miss Teen USA Cassidy Wolf discusses cyber-hackers.
• “Steve Harvey” – Steve surprises a breast cancer survivor and mother of four young boys, plus a man who placed a billboard ad looking for love shares his story.
• “Dr. Phil” – “Saving Loni: From the Suburbs to the Slums”. The parents of 20-year-old girl seek help for her heroin addiction.
• “Dr. Oz Show” – Caroline Manzo (“Real Housewives of New Jersey”), plus Dr. Oz discusses hot flashes, pain relief and how to getting rid of bad breath.
• “Wendy Williams” – Reverend Al Sharpton for his new book “The Rejected Stone:Al Sharpton and the Path to American Leadership”.
• “Bethenny” – Ellen DeGeneres, comedienne Lisa Lampanelli, and chef Fabio Viviani.
• “Queen Latifah Show” – Alfre Woodard (“12 Years a Slave”) and Eva Mendes discusses her new fashion line.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “Letterman” – Bill O’Reilly pimps his book “Killing Jesus”. Music Guest: The Head and the Heart.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Danny McBride (“As I Lay Dying”) and Chiwetel Ejiofor (“12 Years a Slave”). Music Guest: Michael Franti.
• “The Tonight Show” – Julia Louis-Dreyfus (“Enough Said”) and Congressman Ron Paul. Music Guest: Little Big Town. (REPEAT)
• “Jimmy Fallon” – Steve Harvey and the cast of “Duck Dynasty”. Music Guest: Kanye West. (REPEAT)
• “Carson Daly” – Greta Gerwig and artist Molly Crabapple. Music Guest: Pierce the Veil. (REPEAT)
• “Arsenio” – Judy Greer (“Carrie”) and Jackie Chan (“Chinese Zodiac”). Music Guest: Tamar Braxton, plus Dave Koz sits in with The Posse.
• “Conan” – Ke$ha (“Ke$ha: My Crazy Beautiful Life”) and author Jesse Bering (“Perv: The Sexual Deviant in All of Us”). Music Guest: Fitz & the Tantrums.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Robin Williams (“The Crazy Ones”).
• “Chelsea Lately” – American mountaineer Melissa Arnot.
• “Jon Stewart” – Bill O’Reilly for his book “Killing Jesus”. (REPEAT)
• “The Colbert Report” – Paul Giamatti (“Parkland”). (REPEAT)
The Nine Most Obnoxious Things People Post on Facebook
Here are a few of the most obnoxious things you can post on Facebook. Bragging about how you’re living the life . . . generic opinions about national tragedies . . . describing the boring stuff you’re doing that day . . . and unsolicited spiritual wisdom.
1. The “I’m living the life” brag. Example: “Guess who just got promoted!” or “Off to Hawaii!”
2. The disguised brag. Example: “Walking home from work three different guys whistled at me and two others made comments about my cleavage. Sometimes I really hate men.” Also known as a ‘humblebrag’.
3. Relationship updates. Example: “Tough day at work and I came home to a candlelight dinner. I am the luckiest girl in the world.”
4. The cryptic cliffhanger. Example: “This could be a biggggggggg day . . .”
5. The update that LITERALLY describes what you’re doing that day . . . and it’s not even interesting. Example: “Off to the gym, then dinner and watching TV.”
6. The public-private message. Example: “I miss you, when can we hang out?”
7. The out-of-nowhere Oscar speech. Example: “I just want to thank everyone who’s touched my life. Your support means everything and I wouldn’t have gotten through the past year without you.”
8. The incredibly obvious opinion about a big event. Example: “Thinking about all the people affected by the recent tragedy. So heartbreaking.”
9. Unsolicited spiritual wisdom. Example: “‘Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.’ -Buddha.” (Huffington Post)
Halloween Decorations With Decapitated Bodies in Pools of Blood Will Make Your Neighbors Call the Cops
A guy in Oklahoma wanted to go EXTRA realistic with his Halloween decorations, so he put two fake, headless bodies in his driveway . . . and set up realistic POOLS OF BLOOD where their heads should be. Naturally, a neighbor saw them, thought they were real, and called 911. But the guy says he WON’T take down his decorations . . . and even added a third fake body.
You Can Now Buy Pecan Pie Pringles
Last year, Pringles gave a temporary run to three new holiday flavors: Pumpkin Pie Spice, Cinnamon and Sugar, and White Chocolate Peppermint. And this year, they’re back with a new, UNNATURAL holiday flavor.
Pecan Pie Pringles have been spotted in Dollar General stores around the country.
We’ve also heard they’ve launched Mint Chocolate Chip Pringles in the U.K. . . . but there’s no word if those could also be a holiday flavor in the U.S.
Oreos Are as Addictive as Cocaine?
According to a new study out of Connecticut College in New London, Connecticut, OREOS are just as addictive . . . if not MORE addictive . . . than COCAINE. And to that news I say . . . yeah, obviously. I’d kill a man for some Oreos.
The researchers ran brain scans on rats who’d eaten Oreos, and rats who’d been given a small amount of cocaine . . . and found the ones who’d eaten the Oreos had STRONGER CRAVINGS for more. And they believe it translates to PEOPLE too.
Quote, “It really just speaks to the effects that high fat and high sugar foods can have on your body.” (Hartford Courant)
Wine for Cats Has Hit the Market
Wine for CATS just hit the market yesterday. It’s non-alcoholic, but it does have a little catnip in it. The company behind it says they developed it, quote, “for those wanting to celebrate birthdays or Christmas with their beloved cats.” For now, it’s only on sale in Japan, for $4-a-bottle.
Did You Ever Date Someone Before They Got Famous?
Have you ever dated anyone before they got FAMOUS? Has someone you know? Some of the best stories we’ve heard are a guy who dated Taylor Swift for two weeks in eighth grade and now hopes he’s the inspiration for some of her breakup songs . . . and a guy whose dad was on a date with Susan Sarandon the day JFK was shot.
Would You Pay a Stranger to Cuddle With You?
Over the past few years, SNUGGLE HOUSES have supposedly been springing up around the country. They’re businesses where you pay someone about $60 an hour to CUDDLE with you . . . non-sexually. The latest snuggle house was supposed to open in Wisconsin, but it’s been delayed while city officials make sure it’s not just a front for prostitution.
For the Sixth Year in a Row, the Dallas Cowboys Are America’s Favorite Football Team
Harris Interactive just released their annual poll on the most popular teams in the NFL, and for the sixth year in a row, the Dallas Cowboys are number one. The Green Bay Packers are second, the Denver Broncos are third . . . and for the fourth year in a row, the Jacksonville Jaguars are last.
A Man Calls 911 When He’s Overcharged One Cent for a Beer
On Monday afternoon, a 51-year-old in Tennessee was buying some Heineken . . . and when the clerk gave him change, it was one cent short. The clerk refused to reopen the register to give him a penny . . . so the guy called 911 to report a ROBBERY. After they told him it wasn’t an emergency and hung up, he called BACK. So he was arrested for misuse of 911.
John Mayer – 36 (What’s better: His guitar playing . . . or his LADY-PLAYING? Katy Perry seems to prefer the latter.)
Kellie Martin – 38 (Corky’s sexy sister on “Life Goes On”. And Lucy on “ER”.)
Wendy Wilson – 44 (Wilson Phillips. She’s Beach Boy Brian Wilson’s skinny daughter. She’s got the fire down below, you know.)
Terri J. Vaughn – 44 (Played that minx Lovita on “The Steve Harvey Show”. She was also Jonelle on “All of Us”, that sitcom loosely based on Will and Jada Pinkett Smith’s home life.)
Pamela Bach – 50 (Kaye Morgan from “Baywatch”, and ex-wife of international superstar DAVID HASSELHOFF. She used to LOVE the Hoff. Now she HATES the Hoff. And she HASSLES the Hoff. DON’T HASSLE THE HOFF!)
Flea – 51 (Awesome bassist for the Red Hot Chili Peppers.) (Real name: Michael Balzary.)
Manute Bol – Would have been 51 – (1962 – 2010) (7-foot-7 former NBA “star” and “Celebrity Boxing” champion. He beat The Fridge.)
Tim Robbins – 55 (Used to nail Susan Sarandon any time he wanted to. Also played the badass public television newscaster in Will Ferrell’s “Anchorman”.)
Bob Weir – 66 (Co-founder and guitarist of The Grateful Dead.)
Suzanne Somers – 67
Fred Turner – 70 (The “Turner” of Bachman-Turner Overdrive. He and Randy are back together now simply as Bachman and Turner. I guess at their age, Overdrive is no longer an option.)
Tim McCarver – 72 (Insanely knowledgeable sportscaster who looks like Huey Lewis.)
Angela Lansbury – 88 (She STILL “does it” for me and Pee-Paw!)
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• Today is Boss’s Day
• 15 days until Halloween
• 18 days until Daylight Savings Ends
• 23 days until “Thor: The Dark World”
• 43 days until Thanksgiving
• 1,192 days left of “Hope and Change”
Back In The Day
220 years ago . . . in 1793 – Queen MARIE ANTOINETTE was beheaded via the guillotine at the time of the French Revolution.
113 years ago . . . in 1900 – The AUTOMOBILE CLUB OF AMERICA was founded.
97 years ago . . . in 1916 – MARGARET SANGER opened the FIRST BIRTH CONTROL CLINIC for promiscuous minxes in New York City.
41 years ago . . . in 1972 – LORETTA LYNN became the first woman to win the CMA’s most prestigious honor, ENTERTAINER OF THE YEAR. Loretta had been a Grand Ole Opry member since 1962, and a coal miner’s daughter since birth.
40 years ago . . . in 1973 – MAYNARD JACKSON was elected to office in Atlanta, Georgia . . . becoming the FIRST BLACK MAYOR of Atlanta or any other major southern city.
37 years ago . . . in 1976 – “DISCO DUCK”, BY RICK DEES AND HIS CAST OF IDIOTS, HIT #1 ON THE “BILLBOARD” CHARTS!!! IT’S 7:10 . . . AND 69 DEES-GREES!!! (How the hell am I supposed to know what the temperature is if I don’t have my “dees-grees”?!?)
35 years ago . . . in 1978 – The College of Cardinals of the Roman Catholic Church chose CARDINAL KAROL WOJTYLA to be the new Pope; he took the name PJP2 (POPE JOHN PAUL THE SECOND).
26 years ago . . . in 1987 – Rescuers in Midland, Texas, pulled 18-month-old BABY JESSICA out of the well she’d fallen into 58 hours earlier.
21 years ago . . . in 1992 – J.K. ROWLING interracially married a lucky man named Jorge Arantes two years after she began writing her first “Harry Potter” novel. She remarried in 2001 to some guy named Neil Murray.
21 years ago . . . in 1992 – George Harrison, Eric Clapton, Neil Young, and others saluted BOB DYLAN at Madison Square Garden.
18 years ago . . . in 1995 – A million or so black men gathered in Washington, D.C., for the “MILLION MAN MARCH” led by Nation of Islam leader, LOUIS FARRAKHAN.
16 years ago . . . in 1997 – AUDRA LINDLEY (the Incredibly Sexy Mrs. Roper on “Three’s Company” and Phoebe’s grandmother on “Friends”) died of complications from leukemia at the age of 79.