In a rare moment, singer Rihanna spoke to Rolling Stone about her tumultuous relationship with Chris Brown, her decision to drop her restraining order against him and how she dealt with life after Brown attacked her in 2009.

"I put my guard up so hard," she told the magazine (via PopCrush). "I didn't want people to see me cry. I didn't want people to feel bad for me. It was a very vulnerable time in my life, and I refused to let that be the image. I wanted them to see me as, 'I'm fine, I'm tough.' I put that up until it felt real."

Of her decision to drop the restraining order, she said, "That’s my decision. It doesn’t mean we’re gonna make up, or even talk again. It just means I didn’t want to object to the judge."

Rolling Stone hits stands and online this Friday.

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