You Peed On That! — Things People Love To Do on Facebook
Janna and I have talked at long length with each other over cocktails about the things that people do on Facebook that we find generally annoying or strange. You know the kinds of things that I’m talking about: the over-sharing, the cryptic statuses, the person who only posts quotes as their statuses, the group of white suburban girls throwing up gang signs, announcing your pregnancy by posting a picture of the test. The list goes on. There were so many that we figured we should make a list. So here, in no particular order, some of the weird things that people love to do on Facebook.
Pictures of Pregnancy Tests
I get it, you want to share the news of your impending bundle of joy with the world. But, seriously, think about it. You peed on that!!! You are posting a photo of something that you urinated on on Facebook.
Why don’t you just post a picture of your toilet?
Passive Aggressive Rants, To No One Specific (But, They Actually Mean Some One Specific)
“You really think you know somebody and then it turns out that you don’t know them AT ALL! They always end up STABBING YOU IN THE BACK! Karma will come back and bite you in the a$!!!”
Shut up. Who are you talking about? Why don’t you just call them and tell them how you feel?
Preppy White Girls and Gang Signs
I don’t know what it is about the Internet that has turned suburban, white, college girls into “gangstas”.
Unfortunately, back in the days of MySpace, I was once guilty of this. (Please don’t hate me, I promise to never do it again.)
Cryptic Status Updates
Seriously, stop it. Your constant “I just don’t know anymore…”, “when will things get easier…”, “have so much on my mind…”, “*sigh*” posts are doing the opposite of what you think they are.
Really having problems and need someone to talk to? Call up a friend, or text them, or meet them for drinks! Unless, of course, your problem is that you don’t have any friends. In that case, I’m sure your mom would love to hear from you.
We Don’t Want To Know About Your Menstrual Cycle
It’s something that every woman has to deal with, and none of us find it pleasant. But, for god’s sake, no one on Facebook wants to hear about your period. “My cramps are soooooo bad! I might dieeeee!”
A) No you won’t. B) Now everyone knows your menstrual cycle. They’ll probably avoid you around this time next month.