Your daily dose of WHATEVER!!
Hugh Hefner and His 27-Year-Old Girlfriend Rode Scooters at Disneyland
When you’re so old you have to ride a scooter at an amusement park, how do you make yourself look LESS old and feeble? By making your much-younger girlfriend ride one, too.
Then it looks less like a necessity and more like two lovers sharing an interest in . . . well . . . SCOOTING, I guess.
87-year-old HUGH HEFNER and 27-year-old CRYSTAL HARRIS scooted their way through Disneyland on Friday.
Will Simon Cowell Leave Nothing to His Unborn Child?
In a recent interview, SIMON COWELL said, quote, “I’m going to leave my money to somebody. A charity, probably . . . kids and dogs. I don’t believe in passing on from one generation to another.” And on “Ellen” tomorrow, he says, quote, “I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”
Dennis Rodman Has Returned from North Korea, and Doesn’t Give a [Crap] About the American Citizen Imprisoned There
DENNIS RODMAN just returned from another trip to North Korea, but he doesn’t want to talk about imprisoned American KENNETH BAE. He said, quote, “Ask Obama about that. Ask Hillary Clinton. Ask those [A-holes]. I don’t give a [crap].”
Showbiz Tragedy: Jack Osbourne’s Wife Suffered a Miscarriage
JACK OSBOURNE’S wife Lisa suffered a miscarriage. She was in her second trimester. She announced the news on her blog Friday. She said, quote, “Having a late term miscarriage is by far the hardest thing either of us have ever had to go through.” As far as we know, Jack is still doing “Dancing With the Stars” . . . which kicks off a week from tonight.
Does Dr. Phil Own a Giant Pressurized Egg?
DR. PHIL reportedly spends time in an egg-shaped, pressurized device that uses air pressure to compress the muscles at regular intervals, which supposedly improves circulation, stimulates stem cell production and produces other health benefits. The device costs around $65,000, and he has one in his house.
Kendall Jenner Took Video Of Herself While She Was Driving
17-year-old KENDALL JENNER filmed herself with her phone while she was driving . . . then posted the video online. Kendall was holding the camera in front of her, so at least she was looking in the right general direction. But still, she spent too much time looking at the camera, and NOT THE ROAD.
Did Mel Gibson Almost Have Another Incident With Malibu Cops?
MEL GIBSON got upset at a DUI checkpoint in Malibu Friday morning because he didn’t have his license on him so they kept him a little longer. He reportedly yelled, quote, “Why are you harassing me?” When they asked him why he was getting upset, he added, quote, “I have had problems with you [Malibu] deputies in the past.” They ended up letting him go with a warning.
“Riddick” Is Your New #1 Movie
VIN DIESEL’S “Riddick” was the only new movie in theaters this weekend, which gave it the easy win at the box office with $18.7 million. But that was still shy of the $24 million “The Chronicles of Riddick” made nine years ago in 2004, especially when you factor in inflation.
The original film in the series, “Pitch Black”, made $11.6 million in its opening weekend back in 2000. Here are this week’s Top 10 movies:
1. (NEW) “Riddick”, $18.7 million.
2. “Lee Daniels’ The Butler”, $8.9 million. Up to $91.9 million in its 4th week.
3. “Instructions Not Included”, $8.1 million. Up to $20.3 million in its 2nd week.
4. “We’re the Millers”, $7.9 million. Up to $124 million in its 5th week.
5. “Planes”, $4.3 million. Up to $79.3 million in its 5th week.
6. “One Direction: This Is Us”, $4.1 million. Up to $24 million in its 2nd week.
7. “Elysium”, $3.1 million. Up to $85.1 million in its 5th week.
8. “Blue Jasmine”, $2.7 million. Up to $25.4 million in its 7th week.
9. “Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters”, $2.5 million. Up to $59.8 million in its 5th week.
10. “The World’s End”, $2.3 million. Up to $21.7 million in its 3rd week.
Are These the Top 10 School Movies?
E! Online has put together a list of the Top 10 School Movies. They include both high school and college movies. They don’t seem to be ranked, so here they are in no particular order:
“Mean Girls”, 2004
“Revenge of the Nerds”, 1984
“Fast Times at Ridgemont High”, 1982
“The Breakfast Club”, 1985
“Dead Poets Society”, 1989
“Animal House”, 1978
Monday TV Reminders:
• “U.S. Tennis Open” [Men's Final] . . . 5:00 to 8:00 P.M. Eastern on CBS.
• “Monday Night Football” [44th Season Premiere] . . . 6:55 to 10:15 P.M. Eastern on ESPN. The Washington Redskins host the Philadelphia Eagles in Maryland in the first of two games.
• The second “Monday Night Football” game runs from 10:15 P.M. to 1:15 A.M. Eastern. It’s between the San Diego Chargers and the Houston Texans.
• “The Million Second Quiz” [Series Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC. Ryan Seacrest hosts as contestants battle head-to-head for 12 consecutive days and nights as they test the limits of their knowledge, nerve and endurance.
• “Crash & Bernstein” [1st Season Finale] . . . 8:30 to 9:30 P.M. on Disney XD.
• “God Guns and Automobiles” . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. Eastern on History. Mark shuts down the lot and invites Mancow and the boys to a work retreat . . . while Larry and a skeletal crew secretly prep for a Five Dollar Car Sale.
• “Mistresses” [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC.
• “Watch What Happens: Live” . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Bravo. “Heroes” minx Ali Larter, and Adriana DeMoura-Sidi from “Real Housewives of Miami” guest.
• “Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell” . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on FXX. Chris Rock guests.
Early Morning Show Guests:
• “The Today Show” – Director Ron Howard and the cast of “Rush”, Billy Crystal for his book “Still Foolin’ ‘Em: Where I’ve Been, Where I’m Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys?”, Cee Lo Green for his book “Everybody’s Brother”, and Steve Harvey.
• “Good Morning America” – Lady Gaga, Katie Couric, and author Tory Johnson (“The Shift: How I Finally Lost Weight and Discovered a Happier Life”).
• “CBS This Morning” – Gwen Ifill from “Washington Week in Review”, Judy Woodruff (“Conversations with Judy Woodruff”), and Representative Mike Rogers.
Mid-Morning Show Guests:
• “Live! With Kelly and Michael” – Katie Couric (“Katie”) and Stacy Keibler (“Supermarket Superstar”).
• “The View” – New co-host Jenny McCarthy is welcomed to the show, and her boyfriend Donnie Wahlberg is among one of the guests. Music Guest: Michael Bublé.
• “Rachael Ray” – Rachael shares nonsurgical treatments for droopy eyes and a saggy chest, plus the do’s and don’ts of first dates.
This Afternoon On TV:
• “Ellen DeGeneres” – Leah Remini (“Dancing with the Stars”).
• “The Talk” – Simon Baker (“The Mentalist”), June Shannon and Mike “Sugar Bear” Thompson (“Here Comes Honey Boo Boo”), plus chef Cat Cora.
• “Katie Couric” – Michael Strahan (“Live with Kelly and Michael”) and Lil’ Wayne.
• “Steve Harvey” – Steve shows off his new set, shares never-before-told stories of everything that happens backstage and gives a preview of the upcoming season.
• “Dr. Phil” – “The Secret Life of a Sex Addict”.
• “Dr. Oz Show” – Wayne Brady, Aisha Tyler and Colin Mochrie (“Whose Line Is It Anyway?”), plus comedienne GloZell discusses food challenges.
• “Wendy Williams” – Brandy (“Tyler Perry’s Temptation”), Lauren London and Jay Ellis (“The Game”), plus “All-Star Celebrity Apprentice” reject Claudia Jordan. (REPEAT)
• “Bethenny” [Season Premiere] - Flo Rida, Nick Cannon (“America’s Got Talent”), Boris Kodjoe (“Baggage Claim”),and comedians Chuck Nice and Gary Owen.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “Letterman” – Ricky Gervais and Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel. Music Guest: Janelle Monáe.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – John Stamos (“Necessary Roughness”) and Cedric the Entertainer (“The Soul Man”). Music Guest: Holy Ghost!
• “The Tonight Show” – Meghan McCain and Martin Short. Music Guest: Backstreet Boys.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Alice Eve.
• “Jimmy Fallon” – Goldfrapp, Steve Harvey, and the cast of “Duck Dynasty”.
• “Carson Daly” – Mixed martial artist Georges St-Pierre and a look at the web series “The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl”. Music Guest: Glossary. (REPEAT)
• “Conan” – Patton Oswalt (“The Heart, She Holler”), former U.S. Secretary of Labor Robert Reich, and comedian Tony Deyo.
• “Jon Stewart” – Author Sheri Fink (“Five Days at Memorial: Life and Death in a Storm-Ravaged Hospital”).
• “The Colbert Report” – Former tennis star Billie Jean King pimps her PBS special.
• “Chelsea Lately” – William H. Macy (“Shameless”).
• “Arsenio” [Series Premiere] – Comedian Chris Tucker. You can find out what time he’ll be airing on your local station here.
Bruno Mars Will Headline the Super Bowl Halftime Show
Yesterday, the NFL announced that BRUNO MARS will headline this season’s Super Bowl halftime show on February 2nd.
Bruno appeared in a live broadcast of Fox’s “NFL Sunday” to make it official. He described the gig as, quote, “an honor.” BEYONCÉ headlined the last Super Bowl halftime show earlier this year.
Eminem Acted a Little Weird in an Interview on ESPN
EMINEM was interviewed on ESPN during the halftime of the Michigan / Notre Dame game on Saturday night . . . and he was acting a little strange. (The talk was with sports anchors Kirk Herbstreit and Brent Musburger.)
For whatever reason, Eminem spent the first 20 seconds of the interview giving a blank stare with his eyes bugging out. He also seemed disinterested in hyping his new album . . . and instead, made a series of lame jokes.
The Average American Sleeps With Two Pillows, and Stinks Up Their Bedroom at Least Once a Week
Here are some results from a massive new study on our SLEEP HABITS. The average American uses two pillows . . . makes their bed almost every day . . . needs to air out their bedroom once a week . . . and takes at least one nap a week. Also, 21% of us sleep with our pets in the bed.
Here are their findings on sleep in the U.S. . . .
The average American sleeps six hours and 31 minutes . . . but functions best after at least seven hours and 13 minutes of sleep.
Only 44% of us get a good night’s sleep every night.
The average person uses TWO pillows. But 14% of people sleep with four or more.
66% of people make their bed every day or ALMOST every day.
61% of people need to AIR OUT their bedroom at least once a week.
31% of us take one or two naps a week, 15% take three to five naps, 5% take six to 10 naps, and 1% of people take MORE than 10 naps a week. 49% of people take no naps. And the average nap lasts 45 minutes.
21% of us sleep with our pets in the bed . . . that’s higher than any other country in the world.
55% of us sleep barefoot and 12% sleep naked.
The Five Most Common Types of Dreams
According to a new survey, these are the most common types of DREAMS: Being embarrassed in front of a crowd . . . something going wrong at work . . . sex dreams with someone you know, or a celebrity . . . and being naked in public.
1. Being embarrassed in front of a crowd.
2. Something going wrong at work.
3. SEX DREAMS, with someone you know or a celebrity.
4. Being naked in public.
5. Completely nonsensical dreams.
The Longer You’re Married to Someone, the More Their Voice Cuts Through a Crowd
A new study has found that the longer you’re married to someone, the more likely you are to be able to pick out their voice in a crowd. The researchers found people over 60 would fixate on their spouses’ voices in a crowded room . . . possibly because their brains just recognized and trusted those voices more than any others.
. (Yahoo News)
An Italian Restaurant Closes in Texas, and Leaves a Sign Calling the Entire Town Tasteless, Dumb, Inbreeding Rednecks
An Italian restaurant just went out of business in Amarillo, Texas . . . and the owners weren’t leaving town quietly. They left a sign on their door calling the people of Amarillo DUMB INBREEDING REDNECKS, who didn’t know how lucky they were to have the restaurant in town. Now they’re moving to Lubbock, Texas.
A Website Called “Ghetto Tracker” Launches, Offends People, Gets Renamed, Is Pulled Down, Then Gets Put Back Up
A website called Ghetto Tracker launched last week. It lets people identify BAD AREAS in their cities. But it drew a ton of criticism, so the creator renamed it “Good Part of Town.” Then he shut it down. But now he’s RE-LAUNCHED it again, under the original name.
Washington D.C. Might Require a 24-Hour Waiting Period . . . For Tattoos
Washington D.C. is considering new regulations to require a 24-hour waiting period . . . for TATTOOS. According to the D.C. Health Department, it’s to stop impulse tattoos, since some people regret getting them the next day. The regulations could go into effect early next month.
A School District in Arkansas Is Now Requiring Teachers to Wear Underwear and Shoes
This isn’t good for a school’s reputation. In Little Rock, Arkansas, the school district just introduced a new set of guidelines that requires teachers to dress conservatively . . . and wear UNDERWEAR and SHOES. The superintendent says he created them to improve the culture and environment in the schools.
Kelsey Chow – 22 (Sexy Mikayla on the Disney Channel’s “Pair of Kings”.)
Hunter Hayes – 22 (Country singer who can say he was once one of “America’s Most Talented Kids”.)
Haley Reinhart – 23 (Living proof that “American Idol” does NOT prepare you for an actual music career.)
Julie Gonzalo – 32 (Rebecca Ewing on the new “Dallas”. She’s the wife of Christopher Ewing, but he has no idea she’s also the daughter of Cliff Barnes.)
Michelle Williams – 33 (Nailed Heath Ledger in “Brokeback Mountain” . . . nailed Heath Ledger in real life . . . gave birth to Heath’s bastard lovechild . . . broke up with Heath Ledger . . . let Heath Ledger die.)
Michael Bublé – 38 (Beautiful young crooner who used to give it to Emily Blunt REAL good.)
Goran Visnjic – 41 (Croatian actor who played Croatian Dr. Luka Kovac on “ER”. Also spawned a Croatian love child outside his Croatian marriage.)
Eric Stonestreet – 42 (Cameron, the chubby half of the gay couple on “Modern Family”. He’s straight in real life, while the dude who plays Mitchell is openly gay.)
HENRY THOMAS! – 42 (Elliott in “E.T.”!)
Rachel Hunter – 44 (Rod Stewart’s heartbreaking chubby ex.)
ADAM SANDLER – 47 (When you go to his movies, you rarely laugh. But HE laughs at YOU. All the way to the bank.)
Constance Marie – 48 (George’s hot wife Angie on “The George Lopez Show”. Now she stars on the ABC Family show “Switched at Birth”.)
Hugh Grant – 53
Angela Cartwright – 61 (Penny Robinson on “Lost In Space”.)
Dave Stewart – 61 (Eurythmics. He used to nail Annie Lennox real good.)
TOM WOPAT! – 62
Joe Theismann – 64
Doug Ingle – 67 (Singer and keyboardist for Iron Butterfly. In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida!)
Topol – 78 (He IS the Fiddler on the Roof.)
Billy Preston – Would have been 67 – (1946 – 2006) (THE FIFTH BEATLE. He played with the Fab Four on “Get Back” and “Don’t Let Me Down”. He also sported a GIANT afro, AND was a big fan of cocaine.)
Otis Redding – (1941 – 1967) (R&B legend. Died in a plane crash during the time he was recording “Sittin On The Dock Of The Bay”. He was only 26.)
Colonel Sanders – (1890 – 1980) (Kentucky Fried Chicken genius. His restaurant is the one where you can eat chicken without offending your gay friends.) (You can criticize his methods all you want, but I say it’s the CRUELTY that makes it taste so good.)
Neil Hamilton – (1899 – 1984) (Commissioner Gordon in the 1960s TV series starring the One True Batman, Adam West.)
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 7 days to “Dancing with the Stars”
• 10 days to Talk Like a Pirate Day
• 18 days to Native American Day
• 37 days until Boss’s Day
• 52 days until Halloween
• 1,229 days left of “Hope and Change”
BACK IN THE DAY
163 years ago . . . in 1850 – CALIFORNIA (“The Golden State”) became the 31st state in the Union.
129 years ago . . . in 1884 – St. Louis frankfurter vender (slash) genius Antoine Feuchtwanger stopped giving away a white glove with each frank. Instead, he put them in long buns . . . creating the FIRST HOT DOG.
63 years ago . . . in 1950 – The sitcom “The Hank McCune Show” became the first TV show to use a RECORDED LAUGH TRACK.
57 years ago . . . in 1956 – ELVIS PRESLEY made the first of his three appearances on the “Ed Sullivan Show”. He sang “Love Me Tender”, “Hound Dog”, “Don’t Be Cruel” and “Ready Teddy”.
46 years ago . . . in 1967 – SAM & DAVE’S classic, “Soul Man” was released. (FYI: The late, great ISAAC HAYES wrote the song.)
42 years ago . . . in 1971 – Prisoners seized control of the maximum-security ATTICA Correctional Facility near Buffalo, New York, beginning a psychotic man-on-man siege that claimed 43 low-lives. (ATTICA!) (ATTICA!) (ATTICA!)