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The Best Miley Cyrus Parody So Far is a Mere Six Seconds Long
There have been plenty of MILEY CYRUS parodies since she polluted the airwaves with her “VMA” performance . . . and even more once she released her “Wrecking Ball” video.
But one Miley parody stands head and shoulders above all the rest. Seriously, it’s the best one we’ve seen so far. And it’s a Vine video, so it’s a mere SIX SECONDS LONG. Obviously, brilliance need not be any longer than that.
It’s a guy recreating Miley’s nude wrecking ball ride, and it’s so simple, yet so hilarious.
Miley Might Retire Her Tongue
Even MILEY CYRUS is tired of seeing herself with her tongue hanging out. During an interview on some French TV show, she said, quote, “It’s getting a little old. I’m going to have to retire it!”
She added, quote, ”For as long as it is, you would think that I could touch my nose. I mean I’ve tried it, I can’t, I’m so close. I wish I had more control of it, I can’t do any tricks, no four leaf clover, nothing!”
Have Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth Moved on to Other People?
Are MILEY CYRUS and LIAM HEMSWORTH seeing other people? Sources say Miley is nailing producer (slash) rapper MIKE WILL.MADE.IT. And Liam might be enjoying some action from JANUARY JONES from “Mad Men”. A source says, quote, “Liam and Miley haven’t officially split, but it’s over. It’s just that neither wants to pull the trigger.”
Billy Ray Cyrus Defends “Wrecking Ball” . . . But Not Necessarily the Video
On “Entertainment Tonight” last night, BILLY RAY CYRUS defended MILEY’S new song “Wrecking Ball” . . . but he kind of side-stepped questions about the video.
He said, quote, “I come from the old school where it starts with an artist and a song . . . It wouldn’t have mattered if Miley would have worn jeans and a flannel shirt . . . a Tux . . . or a nun’s habit.
“The song’s a smash . . . and her performance vocally on the tune reflects her roots and sheer God given talent.”
Lionel Richie Has Parenting Advice for Billy Ray Cyrus
LIONEL RICHIE went through the wringer with his daughter NICOLE, so he feels BILLY RAY CYRUS’ pain. He says, quote, “Dad to Dad, I’ve been Billy Ray.
“[Miley] is just going through a period in her life and we’re actually going to grit our teeth and hold our breath. I did the same thing. It’s one of those things where you have to say, ‘Please God let it be over soon.’
“That’s where she is in her space and this is her expression and that’s what it’s all about.”
Is This What John Mayer and Katy Perry’s Kids Would Look Like?
JOHN MAYER and KATY PERRY haven’t reproduced yet. But if and when they do, you have to assume they’ll make good-looking kids.
“OK!” magazine decided to test that theory by having someone morph their features into two kids . . . one boy and one girl.
Did Lindsey Vonn Cheat on Tiger Woods?
If things were true just on the basis of how many people WANTED them to be true, then this would be true: The “National Enquirer” says that LINDSEY VONN cheated on TIGER WOODS.
So called “sources” say she made out with a guy backstage at a JAY Z / JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE concert on August 16th. He was in his mid-40s, and was somebody she already knew.
Oh, and he was, quote, “gripping her rear end” during the makeout session. (For the record, Lindsey is 28, and Tiger is 37.)
Are Robin Thicke and Paula Patton Divorcing?
“Life & Style” magazine says ROBIN THICKE and PAULA PATTON are heading for DIVORCE. A source says, quote, “They fight all the time about the cheating rumors and all his late nights out. Robin just wants to be able to play around more, and not be tied down with a wife.”
oes Angelina Jolie Think She Only Has Three Years to Live?
The “National Enquirer” claims that ANGELINA JOLIE thinks she only has three to five years left to live, due to various health issues. A source says, quote, “Angelina is trying to live her life to the fullest . . . She’s going to do everything she can to prolong her life but really believes she won’t even reach her mid-forties.” She’s 38.
Julie Chen Once Had Plastic Surgery To Make Her Eyes Look Less Chinese
Earlier this week, SHARON OSBOURNE revealed that she used to nail JAY LENO. And on “The Talk” yesterday, JULIE CHEN revealed a secret of her own: She once had plastic surgery to make her eyes look LESS CHINESE.
Obviously, she did it to further her career in news . . . after several people told her she would never get a job behind an anchor’s desk unless she got the surgery. And she said that once she got the surgery, her career DID take off.
Julie showed a before-and-after comparison, and the difference is STRIKING. It also looks like Julie got a nose job.
Is Lindsay Lohan Spending $2,500 a Day on a Sober Companion?
As far as we know, LINDSAY LOHAN is still sticking with this whole sobriety thing. Maybe she IS serious about it this time.
In fact, the word is that she’s spending $2,500 A DAY on a sober companion. She was spotted in New York City the other day with a guy who might just be that companion.
Supermodel Chrissy Teigen Has the Best Tweet About the New iPhone
Supermodel CHRISSY TEIGEN probably had the best Tweet about the new iPhone. She said, quote, “I swear to god if the next iPhone has another new charger I’m going to [effing] . . . buy that iPhone and complain about the new charger.” And you know damn well that’s what we’re ALL going to do.
It’s Official: The Saul Goodman “Breaking Bad” Spin-Off Is a Go
It’s official: AMC is doing a “Breaking Bad” spin-off starring BOB ODENKIRK’S character, Saul Goodman. It’s tentatively titled “Better Call Saul”, and it’ll serve as a PREQUEL series. But don’t get too excited yet . . . it’s going to be a while before it comes to TV.
Check Out a Video That Mocks HBO for Basically Being Porno
Someone made a YouTube video, which mocks HBO for basically being porno . . . with unknown extras often doing nudity and sex scenes, on shows like “Girls”, “True Blood”, “Game of Thrones” and “Boardwalk Empire”.
The video shows a lot of young actors boasting about landing roles . . . but graphically describing the stuff the part entails. Their friends and family think they’re doing PORNO . . . but are happy at the end when they find out it’s “just” HBO.
It ends with the line, quote, “With 108 Emmy nominations, it’s not porno . . . it’s HBO.” (Here’s the video.
Justin Timberlake Will Be on “Late Night” Every Tuesday This Month
In case you missed it, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE made a surprise appearance on “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” Tuesday night. It’s part of the so-called “Timberlake Tuesdays,” which will have Justin on the show every Tuesday this month to hype his upcoming album.
Thursday TV Reminders:
• “Thursday Night Football” [7th Season Premiere] . . . 8:25 to 11:25 P.M. Eastern on NFLN. The New England Patriots host the New York Jets at Gillette Stadium.
• “The X Factor” [Auditions] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.
• “CBS Fall Preview” . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS. The cast of “We Are Men” host this preview of CBS’ upcoming fall series.
• “Big Brother 15″ [Eviction Night] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS.
• “Burn Notice” [Series Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on USA.
• “The Presidents’ Gatekeepers” [Conclusion] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Discovery.
• “Project Runway” . . . 9:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Lifetime. Stacy Keibler and the Executive VP of Belk’s Private Brands are this week’s guest judges.
• “Rookie Blue” [4th Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC.
• “Graceland” [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on USA.
• “Ridiculousness” . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on MTV. Cody Simpson guests.
• “Impractical Jokers” . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on TruTV. Rosie O’Donnell guests.
• “Watch What Happens: Live” . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Bravo. Gloria Estefan and Sean Kingston are guests.
• “Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell” . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on FXX. Sarah Silverman guests.
Early Morning Show Guests:
• “The Today Show” – Jeffrey Donovan (“Burn Notice”), Kirk Cameron (“The Way of the Master”) and Dr. Phil. Music Guest: Janelle Monáe.
• “Good Morning America” – Dianna Agron (“The Family”) and Gloria Estefan.
• “CBS This Morning” – Songwriter/author Sandra Boynton (“Frog Trouble: . . . And Eleven Other Pretty Serious Songs”) and journalist/author Armen Keteyian (“The System: The Glory and Scandal of Big-Time College Football”).
Mid-Morning Show Guests:
• “Live! With Kelly and Michael” – Ricky Gervais (“Derek”).
• “The View” – Orlando Bloom and Condola Rashad (Broadway’s “Romeo and Juliet”). Music Guest: Sheryl Crow. Dr. Phil McGraw co-hosts.
• “Rachael Ray” – Chef Sunny Anderson for her cookbook “Sunny’s Kitchen: Easy Food For Real Life” prepares an easy chicken cordon bleu, plus designers offer ideas for making table settings from leftover school supplies.
This Afternoon On TV:
• “Ellen DeGeneres” – “Glee’s” Amber Riley (“Dancing with the Stars”) and Ray Romano (“The Parenthood”). Music Guest: Jennifer Nettles.
• “The Talk” – Valerie Bertinelli (“Hot in Cleveland”).
• “Katie Couric” – Billy Crystal pimps his book “Still Foolin’ ‘Em: Where I’ve Been, Where I’m Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys?”. Plus: an update on flesh-eating bacteria amputee Aimee Copeland.
• “Steve Harvey” – Steve reveals his new dressing room, allows viewers to vote on what he will wear, and shares what he was thinking during popular food segments.
• “Dr. Phil” – “Football Star Accused: Did He Do It? Part 1″. A 17-year-old football star accused of rape and his 16-year-old accuser.
• “Dr. Oz Show” – Mistakes women make with weaves, hair relaxers, curling irons, and other hair appliances.
• “Wendy Williams” – Trisha Yearwood (“Trisha’s Southern Kitchen”) and 11-year-old painter Autumn de Forest. (REPEAT)
• “Bethenny” – Maksim Chmerkovskiy (“Dancing with the Stars”), Finesse Mitchell (“A.N.T. Farm”) and Ryan Serhant (“Million Dollar Listing New York”). Music Guest: Eric Benét.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “Letterman” – Toni Collette (“Hostages”) and Alec Baldwin.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Dianna Agron (“The Family”) and Jake Gyllenhaal (“Prisoners”). Music Guest: Weekend.
• “The Tonight Show” – Hugh Jackman (“Prisoners”) and “The View’s” Aisha Tyler (“Whose Line Is It Anyway?”). Music Guest: OneRepublic.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Jennifer Carpenter (“Dexter”) and Adam Goldberg.
• “Jimmy Fallon” – Robert De Niro (“The Family”) and Amy Sedaris (“The Heart, She Holler”). Music Guest: Alt-J.
• “Carson Daly” – Guillermo Diaz (“Scandal”) and Clairy Browne & the Bangin’ Rackettes. Music Guest: The Stepkids. (REPEAT)
• “Conan” – Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele (“Key and Peele”). Music Guest: Wavves.
• “Jon Stewart” – Billy Crystal for his book “Still Foolin’ ‘Em: Where I’ve Been, Where I’m Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys?”.
• “The Colbert Report” – Former CIA analyst Philip Mudd, author of “Takedown: Inside the Hunt for Al Qaeda”.
• “Chelsea Lately” – Tim Gunn (“Project Runway”).
• “Arsenio” – Mark Harmon (“NCIS”), Penn & Teller, and Ariana Grande.
Congratulations to AT&T, Marriott, and Pretzel Crisps for Failing on Their 9/11 Promotions
Every year, a few companies STILL don’t get it: No one wants you to use September 11th as a promotional opportunity. Yesterday, AT&T tweeted a 9/11 tribute featuring one of their phones . . . Pretzel Crisps photographed their bags in the shape of an American flag . . . and a Marriott generously offered a half hour of free mini muffins in honor of 9/11 victims.
Men Are Twice as Likely to Go Through Someone’s Phone to See If They’ve Been Cheating
According to a new poll, 62% of men and 34% of women have gone through their partner’s cell phone to see if they’ve been cheating . . . and 48% have actually FOUND something. Only 59% of women and 37% of men would admit to snooping in order to confront the other person, and 31% of people would consider DUMPING someone if they caught them going through their phone.
Guys Are More Likely to Use Baked Goods to Get a Promotion?
So it’s come to this. According to a new survey, ONE in FOUR people say they’ve tried using BAKED GOODS to help get a promotion. And MEN are more likely to bring in cupcakes or cookies SPECIFICALLY to try to advance their careers than women.
The Eight Rudest Ways People Use Technology in the Office
A new survey came up with the RUDEST ways people use technology in the office. The top five are: Checking emails on your phone during a meeting . . . checking texts during a business lunch . . . using all capital letters in an email . . . including you on never-ending email chains . . . and using “text speak” in emails.
1. Checking emails on your phone during a meeting. 54% of people say they have coworkers who do it, and it drives them crazy.
2. Checking texts during a business lunch, 49%.
3. Using all capital letters in an email to make a point, 20%.
4. Including you on never-ending, pointless email chains, 19%.
5. Using “text speak” in emails, 18%.
6. Taking personal cell phone calls in public areas, 18%.
7. Texting while walking through the office, 17%.
8. Emailing someone sitting right next to you instead of talking to them, 16%. (Daily Mail)
The Five Dumbest Resume Mistakes of All Time . . . and the More Common Mistakes You Might Make
CareerBuilder.com just did a survey on the DUMBEST resume mistakes people had ever seen, including: A person who applied for the job they’d just been fired from . . . a guy who said he’d gone to jail for assaulting a former boss . . . and a person who claimed that leading warrior clans in an online role-playing game was leadership experience.
1. A guy who mentioned spending time in jail for assaulting a former boss.
2. A person who put that their previous job title was, “Mr.” Not, like, “Research Director.” Just plain old ‘Mister.’
3. A person who applied for the exact same job they’d just been FIRED from.
4. A person who claimed that leading warrior clans in an online role-playing game was an example of leadership experience.
5. The “Skills” section was spelled “S-k-e-l-z-e.”
61% of Americans Believe in Ghosts, 48% Believe in UFOs, and About a Third Think They’ve Seen One or the Other
Turns out a HUGE number of Americans believe in GHOSTS and UFOs. In a new survey, 61% of people say they believe in ghosts . . . 48% believe UFOs have flown to Earth . . . and 32% say they have PERSONALLY witnessed something paranormal.
61% of people believe in ghosts.
48% of people believe UFOs have flown to Earth.
32% of people say they’ve PERSONALLY witnessed something paranormal . . . either from a ghost, a UFO, or another unexplainable phenomenon.
Women are more likely than men to say they’ve experienced something paranormal . . . and white people are more likely than black or Hispanic people.
And people without high school diplomas are twice as likely as people who have postgraduate degrees. (Huffington Post)
The New iPhone Fingerprint Scanner Won’t Keep People From Stealing Your Phone . . . They’ll Just Chop Off Your Finger Too
On Tuesday, Apple unveiled the new iPhone, which you unlock using your FINGERPRINT. Which SEEMS like a great anti-theft move . . . but the head of a mobile security company says it might not be. Because now, someone might steal your iPhone . . . and CHOP OFF YOUR FINGER.
Andrew Luck – 24 (Heisman trophy winning quarterback who’s well on his way to filling Peyton Manning’s shoes for the Indianapolis Colts.)
Alfie Allen – 27 (Sausage-less Theon Greyjoy on “Game of Thrones”.)
Emmy Rossum – 27 (There was a time when I only knew her as Christine in “The Phantom of the Opera” . . . but then she started going topless and doing sex scenes on the Showtime series “Shameless” and I became a fan for life.)
Jennifer Hudson – 32 (“American Idol” loser . . . and Oscar WINNER. She plays the title character in “Winnie Mandela” . . . which finally opened last week . . . two years after it played its first film festival.)
Jay McGraw – 34 (Dr. Phil’s sexy son. He gets to nail “Playboy” triplet Erica Dahm . . . ANYTIME HE WANTS TO.)
Yao Ming – 33 (Retired 7’6″ Chinese Center for the Houston Rockets.)
Elisabetta Canalis – 35 (Before signing on to “Dancing with the Stars”, her biggest claim to fame was being the Italian actress who dated George Clooney. Those are still the only two things she’s known for.)
Ruben Studdard – 35 (Beat Clay Aiken on “American Idol”, then he completely vanished. Not an easy feat for a man that size.)
Benjamin McKenzie – 35 (“O.C.” and “Southland” twink.)
Bizzy Bone – 37 (The high-pitched gangsta in Bone Thugs-N-Harmony.)
Jennifer Nettles – 39 (Sugarland minx.)
Paul Walker – 40 (Pretty-boy from “The Fast And The Furious” movies who made his film debut in the 1987 classic, “Monster in the Closet” . . . along with a pre-pubescent Fergie!)
Jason Statham – 46 (Knife expert Lee Christmas in “The Expendables” movies. He’s also in the “Transporter” and “Crank” movies.)
James Frey – 44 (The author of the FAKE “memoir” “A Million Little Pieces” that caused all manner of book-club hysteria and Oprah-rage when he revealed that it was a bunch of LIES.)
Louis C.K. – 46 (Comedian. His show “Louie” is one of the most underrated shows on TV.)
Ben Folds – 47 (Biggest hit: The 1997-98 ballad “Brick”. Also the GENIUS who helped put together WILLIAM SHATNER’S consciousness-altering album, “Has Been”! His “Merton“ videos on YouTube are classic. He was also one of the judges on “The Sing-off”.)
Amy Yasbeck – 51 (John Ritter’s widow, who you’d know best as the redhead on “Wings” and Maid Marian in “Robin Hood: Men In Tights”.)
Viper – 54 (Mattress actress who has starred in 168 fine films, including . . . “Leave It To Cleavage”, “She-Male Reformatory” AND “Raunchy Porno Picture Show”.)
Nina Blackwood – 58 (One of the original VJs when MTV debuted on August 1st, 1981.)
PETER SCOLARI! – 58 (SU-PER-STAR from “Newhart” AND “Bosom Buddies”!)
NEIL PEART – 61 (Amazing drummer and lyricist for RUSH. Drum-geeks refer to him as “The Professor”.)
Joe Pantoliano – 62 (Backstabber in “The Matrix”, Guido the pimp in “Risky Business”, Francis Fratelli in “The Goonies”, devious Teddy in “Memento”, AND Ralphie “Headless” Cifaretto on “The Sopranos”.)
Linda Gray – 73 (Sue Ellen on “Dallas”, then AND now.)
George Jones – Would’ve been 82 – (1931 – 2013) (Country legend.)
Sir Ian Holm – 82 (Bilbo Baggins in two of the three “Lord Of The Rings” movies, the “Hobbit” movies, and Zach Braff’s dad in “Garden State”.)
Barry White – Would’ve been 69 – (1944 – 2003) (Beautiful Music Man with the uncanny ability to assist gentlemen in the removal of ladies’ panties.)
Jesse Owens – (1913 – 1980) (Track and field legend who won FOUR gold medals AND set a World Record at the 1936 Olympics in Germany.)
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 4 days to “Dancing with the Stars”
• 7 days to Talk Like a Pirate Day
• 15 days to Native American Day
• 34 days until Boss’s Day
• 49 days until Halloween
• 1,226 days left of “Hope and Change”
60 years ago . . . in 1953 – JOHN F. KENNEDY married JACQUELINE BOUVIER. They were together for 10 years, until his assassination on November 22nd, 1963.
47 years ago . . . in 1966 – “The Monkees” TV show premiered on NBC.
(FYI: STEPHEN STILLS, of Crosby, Stills, & Nash fame, auditioned for The Monkees and was told by the casting directors they were looking for somebody just like him, but with better teeth and hair. That spot went to PETER TORK.)
(And for your extra batch of Monkees-related trivia . . . MICHAEL NESMITH’S mother, Bette, was the inventor of “liquid paper” . . . or as we commonly know it . . . “Wite-Out”.)
43 years ago . . . in 1970 – The classic cartoon “Josie and the Pussycats” debuted on CBS. (31 years later it was made into a TERRIBLE movie starring Rosario Dawson, Rachael Leigh Cook and future train wreck Tara Reid.)
26 years ago . . . in 1987 – MORRISSEY left THE SMITHS for a solo career. Morrissey claims to be asexual.
23 years ago . . . in 1990 – CHRISTINE MCVIE and STEVIE NICKS both announced that they would no longer perform with FLEETWOOD MAC. A little over two years later, they reunited with the group to sing at PRESIDENT CLINTON’S inauguration.
(Four years after that, they reunited for an “MTV Unplugged” special, which led to a #1 album and hugely successful concert tour. Lying skanks.)
(They still get together every once in a while, but WITHOUT Christine. She really DID retire several years ago.)
22 years ago . . . in 1991 – JOHN TRAVOLTA married KELLY PRESTON. Today is their 22nd anniversary.
21 years ago . . . in 1992 – The space shuttle ENDEAVOUR blasted off, carrying the FIRST BLACK WOMAN IN SPACE (Mae Jemison), the FIRST MARRIED COUPLE IN SPACE (Mark Lee and Jan Davis), and the FIRST JAPANESE NATIONAL to fly on a U.S. spaceship (Mamoru Mohri).
21 years ago . . . in 1992 – ANTHONY PERKINS (“Psycho”) died of pneumonia complicated by AIDS at age 60.
20 years ago . . . in 1993 – RAYMOND BURR (“Perry Mason”, “Ironside”) died of kidney cancer at 76.
(A lot of people will tell you Raymond Burr starred in the original “Godzilla”. He didn’t. He wasn’t in the original JAPANESE version. His scenes were shot later and inserted into the flick for the Americanized version.)
(They used to do that a lot with those Japanese monster movies . . . so whitey would have someone JUST LIKE HIM to root for.)
14 years ago . . . in 1999 – “The Practice” and “Ally McBeal” were named Best Drama Series and Best Comedy Series at the 51st Emmy Awards. Both were created by DAVID E. KELLEY . . . of “Nailing MICHELLE PFEIFFER Anytime He Wants To” fame.
10 years ago . . . in 2003 – Music LEGEND JOHNNY CASH died at age 71 of complications from diabetes.