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Whatever 8.28

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Billy Ray Cyrus Has Miley’s Back 

BILLY RAY CYRUS finally addressed MILEY’S “VMA” performance yesterday.  He told “Entertainment Tonight”, quote, “Of course I’ll always be here for Miley.  Can’t wait [to] see her when she gets home.  She’s still my little girl and I’m still her dad regardless how this circus we call show business plays out.  I love her unconditionally and that will never change.”

Cyndi Lauper Nails It:  “It Wasn’t Even Art” 

CYNDI LAUPER’S take on what was so disturbing about MILEY CYRUS’ “VMA” performance cuts right to the heart of the matter.  She says, quote “I just felt like that was so beneath her and raunchy, really raunchy.  It wasn’t even art.”

Justin Timberlake Has Miley’s Back 

One person who has MILEY CYRUS’ back is JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE.  In an interview yesterday, he said, quote, “It’s the ‘VMAs’.  What did you guys expect?”  (It was on Fresh 102.7 in New York City.)

“I like Miley.  I like her a lot.  I think, you know, she’s young.  She’s letting everybody know that she’s growing up . . . It’s not like she did it at the Grammys.  Let her do her thing, you know?”

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

Just a month after giving birth, KATE MIDDLETON doesn’t even look like she was ever pregnant.  (Check out some pics here.)

“Weird Science” minx KELLY LEBROCK is 53, and looking pretty darn good these days.  (Here are some pics.)

Is KATIE HOLMES showing too much buttcheek, too little buttcheek . . . or just enough buttcheek?  (You be the judge.  Check out these pics.)

EVA LONGORIA may not have the biggest chest, but she can produce some sexy cleavage when she wants to.  (As you’ll see here.)

VANESSA HUDGENS in denim shorts?  Yeah, that’s worth a look.  (Here are some pics.)

JASON SUDEIKIS and OLIVIA WILDE were spotted joking around in the stands at the U.S. Open.  (Here are some pics.)

GEORGE CLOONEY and SANDRA BULLOCK took a bus to the Venice Film Festival, where their new movie “Gravity” is premiering.  (Here are some pics.)

Did Robin Thicke Grab a Girl’s Backside While Posing for a Picture With Her? 

We don’t know where or when this picture was taken, but it’s pretty incriminating.  ROBIN THICKE posed with a woman in front of a mirror.  But maybe he didn’t KNOW they were in front of a mirror.

Because if he DID know, he probably wouldn’t have grabbed a HANDFUL OF HER BACKSIDE . . . because he would have realized that mirror would betray him.

(Check out the photo here.)

Did Beyoncé Yell at Diddy for Fighting at a “VMA” After-Party? 

DIDDY and rapper J COLE reportedly got into it at a “VMA” after-party Sunday night, after Cole said, quote, “inappropriate things” to Diddy and his girlfriend CASSIE.

Sources say some pushing and shoving ensued, and a few bottles were knocked over before order was restored.  One of the people who helped restore that order was BEYONCÉ.  A source says she was YELLING at both Diddy and J Cole to cut the crap. 

Check Out a Trailer for That Movie Matthew McConaughey Got All Skinny For 

“Dallas Buyers Club” . . . the movie MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY lost all that weight for . . . hits theaters November 1st.  And a trailer popped up online yesterday.  (You can check it out here.)

Check Out a Fake “Batman vs. Superman” Trailer 

Someone made a fake trailer for the Batman / Superman team-up movie . . . featuring Henry Cavill, Ben Affleck, Amy Adams, Laurence Fishburne and Bryan Cranston . . . who’s RUMORED to be playing Lex Luthor.

(Check it out here.)

The “VMAs” Came in Third in the Ratings

The MTV “Video Music Awards” and “Duck Dynasty” were the top two shows on cable last week.  “Duck Dynasty” had 4,000 more viewers, but both shows attracted an audience of 10.1 million people.

That’s a decent audience for the VMAs, but still well below the record-setting audience of 12.4 million from two years ago.  Meanwhile, “Under the Dome” reclaimed the top spot on our ratings, with 10.6 million viewers.  Here are last week’s Top 10 shows . . .

1.  “Under the Dome”, CBS, 10.6 million viewers

 

2.  “Duck Dynasty”, A&E, 10.1 million viewers

 

3.  “The 2013 Video Music Awards”, MTV, 10.1 million viewers

 

4.  Wednesday’s “America’s Got Talent”, NBC, 9.4 million viewers

 

5.  “60 Minutes”, CBS, 8.7 million viewers

 

6.  Tuesday’s “America’s Got Talent”, NBC, 8.5 million viewers

 

7.  Sunday’s “Pre-Season Football: 49ers vs. Vikings”, NBC, 8.2 million viewers . . .  The 49ers won, 34-14.

 

8.  “NCIS”, CBS, 8 million viewers

 

9.  Friday’s “Pre-Season Football: Packers vs. Seahawks”, CBS, 7.7 million viewers

 

The large audience was likely because this was teams’ first rematch after the Packer’s brutal loss due to what was widely considered a missed call last season. The game went to the Seahawks, 17-10.

 

10.  “Big Bang Theory”, CBS, 7.4 million viewers

Here are some additional ratings that may interest you:

  Saturday’s “Pre-Season Football” game on CBS pitting the Denver Broncos against the St. Louis Rams had 5.7 million viewers.  The Broncos took it, 27-26.

 

  Monday’s “Pre-Season Football” game between the Washington Redskins and the Pittsburgh Steelers on ESPN was the top cable show of the night with 5.6 million viewers. The Redskins won, 24-13, but the team suffered four major injuries.

 

  Thursday’s “Pre-Season Football” game between the Baltimore Ravens and the Carolina Panthers on ESPN drew 4 million viewers.  The Panthers won, 34-27.

 

 The series premiere of A&E’s “Modern Dads” debuted with 4 million viewers.

 

  The 5th season premiere of “Basketball Wives” debuted with 2.4 million viewers.

 

  The 3rd season finale of USA’s “Necessary Roughness” drew 2.4 million viewers.

 

  “Madden’s NFL 14 Pigskin Pro-Am” on NBC attracted 2.3 million viewers.

 

  The 2nd season finale of ABC Family’s “Switched at Birth” drew 2 million viewers.

 

 The 2nd season finale of “Sullivan and Son” on TBS attracted 1.9 million viewers.

 

 Mancow’s “God, Guns and Automobiles” had 1.7 million viewers.

 

 Syfy’s original movie “Ghost Shark” managed to grab 1.4 million viewers.  You can watch grisly CGI highlights in GIF form here.

 

 The 2nd season finale of “Storage Wars: New York” had 1.2 million A&E viewers.

 

 “Oprah’s Next Chapter” on OWN, featuring an interview with Tina Turner, drew 1 million viewers, about 100,000 more than last week’s interview with Lindsay Lohan.

Wednesday TV Reminders:

“America’s Got Talent” [Results Show] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC.  Music Guests:  “The Voice’s” Cassadee Pope and One Direction.

 

 

“Only In America with Larry the Cable Guy” [3rd Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on History.

 

 

“Cheer Perfection” [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on TLC.

 

 

“Top Chef Masters” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Bravo.  Mindy Kaling guest judges.

 

 

“Joe Rogan Questions Everything” [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Syfy.

 

 

“Patrick Dempsey: Racing Le Mans” [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Velocity.  “Grey’s Anatomy” star Patrick Dempsey enters Frances’s famous Le Mans race, which is covered in a four part special.

 

 

“R&B Divas: LA” [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TV One.

 

 

“Top Shot” [5th Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on History.

 

 

“Tough Love: Co-Ed” [6th Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on VH1.

 

 

“The Soul Man” [2nd Season Finale] . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on TV Land.

Early Morning Show Guests:

 

“The Today Show”Anthony Mackie and a commemoration of the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech.

 

“Good Morning America”“Reader’s Digest” editor and chief Liz Vaccariello and chef Tyler Florence (host of “The Great Food Truck Race”).  Music Guest:  Cimorelli.

 

“CBS This Morning”Jon Voight (“Ray Donovan”) and musician Wynton Marsalis.

 

 

 

 

Mid-Morning Show Guests:

 

“Live! With Kelly and Michael”“Scandal’s” Kerry Washington (“Peeple”), Mariah Carey (“American Idol”), and the captains from Discovery’s “Deadliest Catch”.  (REPEAT)

 

“The View”YouTube’s Sweet Brown, Lennon and Maisy Stella (“Nashville”), Billy Eichner (“Funny or Die’s Billy on the Street”), and the founder of Blendtec Tom Dickson.  Rachel Campos-Duffy and comedian Chuck Nice co-host.  (REPEAT)

 

“Rachael Ray” – Fashion expert Gretta Monahan and organizational expert Peter Walsh.  (REPEAT)

This Afternoon On TV:

 

“Ellen DeGeneres”Casey Wilson (“Happy Endings”), Mark Wahlberg and Sean “Diddy” Combs.  Music Guest:  Bonnie Raitt.  (REPEAT)

 

“The Talk”Melissa Joan Hart and Joey Lawrence (“Melissa & Joey”), plus Dr. Wendy Walsh (author of “The 30-Day Love Detox”).  “All My Children’s” Cameron Mathison co-hosts.  (REPEAT)

 

“Katie Couric” – “Mommy’s Little Helper”.  Katie speaks with mothers who take drugs to become happy, skinny and sexy in order to be better mothers.  (REPEAT)

 

“Steve Harvey” – Steve offers dating and relationship advice from his best-selling book “Straight Talk, No Chaser”.  (REPEAT)

 

“Dr. Phil” – A man accusing his mother of being too intrusive in his life . . . and a woman who dislikes her daughter’s fiancé.  (REPEAT)

 

“Dr. Oz Show” – “Dr. Oz’s Sleep Plan to Get Your Perfect Night’s Sleep!”  Plus: How knowing your sleep type may prevent disease and help you lose weight.  (REPEAT)

 

“Wendy Williams”Magic Johnson, plus the guys from “Jersey Shore” . . . Paul “Pauly D” DelVecchio, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Vinny Guadagnino.  (REPEAT)

Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:

 

 

“Letterman”Hayden Panettiere (“Nashville”) and Medal of Honor recipient Staff Sergeant Ty Carter.  Music Guest:  In the Valley Below performs.

 

 

“Jimmy Kimmel”Selena Gomez and Ben Stein.  Music Guest:  Palma Violets.  (REPEAT)

 

 

“The Tonight Show”Natasha Leggero (“High School USA!”) and Matt LeBlanc (“Episodes”).  Music Guest:  Sky Blu.

 

 

“Craig Ferguson”Betty White and Sarah Paulson (“American Horror Story”).  (REPEAT)

 

 

“Jimmy Fallon”Simon Pegg (“The World’s End”), Tyra Banks, and chef Dominique Ansel.  (REPEAT)

 

 

“Carson Daly”Adam DeVine (“Workaholics”) and artist James Gulliver Hancock.  Music Guest:  Milo Greene.  (REPEAT)

 

 

“Conan”“Game of Thrones” author George R.R. Martin and “True Blood’s” Alexander Skarsgård (“The East”).  Music Guest:  Houndmouth.  (REPEAT)

 

 

“Jon Stewart”Pre-empted for the Roast of Pamela Anderson.

 

 

“The Colbert Report”Pre-empted for the Roast of Pamela Anderson.

 

 

“Chelsea Lately” – Music Guest:  Macklemore & Ryan Lewis.

Stupid News….

The Average Person Gets Frustrated and Anxious Five Times a Week . . . Here’s What Triggers Us

According to a new study, the average person feels FRUSTRATED and ANXIOUS four or five times a week . . . or about TWO-THIRDS of your life.  And the three things that make us feel most anxious are traffic, health, and finances.

1.  Being stuck in traffic.

2.  Worrying about our health.

3.  Worrying about our finances.

4.  The weather.

5.  Not being able to lose weight.  (Daily Mail)

The Average Person Doesn’t Hit Middle Age Until 53 . . . But Here Are the Top 10 Signs You’re There

According to a new survey, the average person doesn’t hit MIDDLE AGE until they’re 53.  The top signs you’re middle aged are:  You lose touch with technology . . . you have no idea what “young people” are talking about . . . you constantly have new aches and pains . . . and you need an afternoon nap.

1.  You lose touch with technology.

 

2.  You find you have no idea what the “young people” are talking about.

 

3.  You constantly have new aches and pains.

 

4.  You need an afternoon nap.

 

5.  You groan when you bend down.

6.  You can’t name any modern bands.

 

7.  You’re always talking about your joints.

 

8.  You hate noisy bars and restaurants.

 

9.  You start getting ear hair, bushy eyebrows, nose hair, and female facial hair.

 

10.  You think all cops, teachers, and doctors look young.  (Daily Mail) 

The Ten Most Creative and Ridiculous Excuses People Have Used to Get Out of Work

Here are some REAL excuses people have used to get out of work.  My sister got kidnapped and I have to find her . . . there’s a snake on the porch so I can’t leave the house . . . Martians kidnapped my boyfriend so I have to save him . . . and a woman who called and reported prostate issues.

10.  My sister got kidnapped and I have to go find her.

 

9.  I gave up my plane seat to an elderly person and can’t get back for a few days.

 

8.  My dog didn’t wake me up.

 

7.  There’s a snake on my porch so I can’t leave the house.

 

6.  I have to stay out sick because of a sympathetic pregnancy.  That’s when a GUY experiences a few of his wife’s pregnancy symptoms.  Or when ANYONE close to someone who’s pregnant has a few mild symptoms.

 

5.  My wife got a bad dye job and I have to stay home to provide moral support.

 

4.  My dog hid my car keys.

 

3.  I had to stay home to prepare for the zombie apocalypse.

 

2.  Martians kidnapped my boyfriend and I have to rescue him.

 

1.  I’m having trouble with my prostate . . . and the person who used the excuse was a WOMAN.  (PR Newswire)

The Latest Rankings Are Out for America’s Best and Worst Drivers

Allstate Insurance just released its list of the cities with America’s best and worst drivers.  The worst are in Washington D.C. and Baltimore . . . the best are in Fort Collins, Colorado and Boise, Idaho.

(Allstate / Yahoo Autos)

Burger King Is Introducing a Burger With Fries on Top

 

 On Sunday, Burger King’s introducing a new burger that uses FRENCH FRIES as a topping.  It’s called the French Fry Burger, and it’ll sell for a dollar.  But they’re only putting FOUR French fries on top, so it’s not like you’re getting an entire side of fries.  And it’ll only be available this fall.

(New York Daily News / Consumerist) 

A Man Feels Nuzzling on His Neck in Bed . . . and Finds Out It Was a Wild Fox

Last week, a 30-year-old man in England was asleep and felt nuzzling on his neck.  He assumed it was his girlfriend, but she was already awake and had gone to work.  Turns out a wild FOX had gotten into the house, and crawled into bed.  After the guy woke up and saw the fox, there was about a 10-minute standoff before the fox got off the bed and he chased it out of the house.

 (Mirror.co.uk / Gawker) 

Celebrity Birthdays…

Kyle Massey – 22  (Disney Channel star who was the runner-up on the 11th season of “Dancing with the Stars”.)

 

 

Armie Hammer – 27  (He played the Winklevoss twins in “The Social Network” , Prince Alcott in “Mirror Mirror”, and the Lone Ranger alongside Johnny Depp’s Tonto in the biggest flop of the summer.)

 

 

LEANN RIMES – 31  (SEXY COUNTRY SUPERSTAR HOMEWRECKER.)

Jack Black – 44  (Chubby superstar.)

Jason Priestley – 44  (Bad race car driver.)

Billy Boyd – 45  (One of the four hobbits from the original “Lord of the Rings” trilogy.  He played Pippin.)

 

 

SHANIA TWAIN – 48  (Country superstar.  The name Shania is Ojibway Indian for “I’m on my way.”  That IDIOT Mutt Lange had her, cheated on her and lost her.)

Amanda Tapping – 48  (Samantha Carter on “Stargate SG-1″.)

 

 

JENNIFER COOLIDGE – 52  (Stifler’s mom in the “American Pie” movies.)

 

 

Emma Samms – 53  (Former soap minx in the ’80s.  I may have “lost my virginity to myself” while watching her fine work on “General Hospital” or “Dynasty”.)

 

 

SCOTT HAMILTON! – 55 (Old-school Olympic gold medal-winning figure skater . . . and TESTICULAR HERO OF THE DAY.  Scott beat down nad cancer.)

 

 

Daniel Stern – 56  (Adult voice of Kevin on “The Wonder Years” and “Dilbert”.  He looks like a tool in “City Slickers” and as Joe Pesci’s bumbling partner in “Home Alone”.)

 

 

Wayne Osmond – 62

 

 

DAVID SOUL! – 70  (HUTCH OF “STARSKY & HUTCH”.)

 

 

Roxie Roker – (1929 – 1995)  (Helen Willis on “The Jeffersons”.  She was responsible for the black half of Lenny Kravitz.  Her husband, Sy Kravitz, was responsible for the Jewish half.)

 

 

Nancy Kulp – (1921 – 1991)  (Sexy Jane Hathaway on “Beverly Hillbillies”.)

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• 2 days until Labor Day Weekend

• 11 days until Grandparents Day

• 22 days to Talk Like a Pirate Day

• 49 days until Boss’s Day

• 64 days until Halloween

• 1,241 days left of “Hope and Change”

Back in the day…

50 years ago . . . in 1963 – DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. declared “I HAVE A DREAM!” to 250,000 people gathered in front of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C.

106 years ago . . . in 1907 – Two ballsy Seattle teenagers started up a local delivery service called American Messenger Company.  Today, Jim Casey and Claude Ryan’s little company is known as UPS (United Parcel Service).

91 years ago . . . in 1922 – The FIRST-EVER RADIO COMMERCIAL AIRED, on WEAF in New York City.  The 10-MINUTE ad was for the Queensboro Realty Company, who paid a fee of $100.

52 years ago . . . in 1961 – “Please Mr. Postman” . . . which became Motown’s first #1 hit . . . was released by the MARVELETTES.

49 years ago . . . in 1964 – After doing a show in New York, THE BEATLES supposedly went backstage with BOB DYLAN and SMOKED REEFER FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME.

48 years ago . . . in 1965 – THE BEACH BOYS’ hit “California Girls” peaked at #3 on the chart.

42 years ago . . . in 1971 – “SIGNS”, BY THE FIVE MAN ELECTRICAL BAND, PEAKED AT #3 ON THE SINGLES CHART.  (Or you may know the song by the remake Tesla did in 1990, which peaked at #8.)

41 years ago . . . in 1972 – MARK SPITZ won the 200-meter butterfly at the Summer Olympics in Munich, West Germany.  He would go on to win SEVEN GOLD MEDALS at that Olympiad alone . . . AND set WORLD RECORDS in all seven.

 

32 years ago . . . in 1981 – JOHN HINCKLEY JR. pleaded innocent to the attempted murder of PRESIDENT REAGAN.  He was later acquitted by reason of insanity.  Don’t worry, though . . . he’s still under lock and key.

 

 

31 years ago . . . in 1982 – The MEN AT WORK album “Business as Usual”, the one with the monsta jam “Down Under”, entered the charts and began working its way to the #1 position, where it would eventually stay for 15 weeks.

 

 

25 years ago . . . in 1988 – The 40th annual EMMY AWARDS were held in Pasadena, California.  “The Wonder Years” and “Thirtysomething” were named Best Shows. 

 

 

18 years ago . . . in 1995 - TRAGEDY STRUCK . . . when OINGO BOINGO announced they would break up following a series of Halloween shows in California.  (Oingo Boingo is where movie composer DANNY ELFMAN got his start.)

 

 

17 years ago . . . in 1996 – GORGEOUS PRINCE CHARLES and HIDEOUS PRINCESS DIANA were “officially” divorced after 15 years of marriage.  (Some filthy rich idiots are STILL paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for a single stale slice of their wedding cake.)

 

 

4 years ago in . . . 2009 - NOEL GALLAGHER left OASIS because he couldn’t deal with his brother LIAM anymore.

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