Whatever 8.27
Your daily dose of WHATEVER!!
Miley Cyrus: The Universe Reacts
The BEN AFFLECK / Batman thing is OLD NEWS. The celebrity Twittersphere is all about MILEY CYRUS now. Here's a good Tweet from NICK CANNON . . . quote, "Remind me to never let my kids into showbiz . . . Thanks." And KELLY CLARKSON made a comment about, quote, "pitchy strippers".
James Van Der Beek: "Things I learned watching the [VMAs]: There's nothing you can do with a foam finger that you can't air on MTV."
Michael Strahan: "That was uncomfortable, weird and hard to watch!"
Rob Lowe: "I cannot think of anything less interesting."
Nick Cannon: "Remind me to never let my kids into showbiz . . . Thanks."
Billy Ray Cyrus is in silent mode so far. All he's been Tweeting about since the VMAs is making new music and . . . Syria.
Are Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom Separated?
KHLOE KARDASHIAN and LAMAR ODOM are reportedly separated. It's not really an official separation, but Khloe did kick Lamar out of their house . . . supposedly because of his refusal to understand that CRACK IS WHACK.
And she's refusing to take him back until he cleans up his act. And by the way . . . Khloe does believe that Lamar cheated on her, but she thinks his drug addiction is the root of all their problems.
A source says Lamar is threatening to file for divorce if Khloe doesn't let him back into the house.
Madonna Tops a List of the Highest-Paid Celebrities
Forbes.com has released its annual list of The Highest-Paid Celebrities. MADONNA was #1, with an estimated income of $125 MILLION over the past year. STEVEN SPIELBERG was second with $100 million.
1. Madonna, $125 million
2. Steven Spielberg, $100 million
3. A three-way tie between Simon Cowell, Howard Stern and "Fifty Shades of Grey" author E.L. James, who all made $95 million
6. Author James Patterson, $91 million
7. Glenn Beck, $90 million
8. Director Michael Bay, $82 million
11. A tie between Tiger Woods and Tyler Perry, who both made $78 million
13. Oprah Winfrey, $77 million
14. Robert Downey, Jr., $75 million
15. Dr. Phil, $72 million
16. Tennis player Roger Federer, $71 million
17. TV show producer Dick Wolf, $70 million . . . He's probably best-known for creating the "Law & Order" franchise.
18. Rush Limbaugh, $66 million
19. Toby Keith, $65 million
20. TV show producer Mark Burnett, $63 million . . . He's best-known for producing the U.S. versions of "Survivor" and "The Voice", but he also created the History Channel's "Bible" miniseries this spring.
9. A tie between Lady Gaga and producer Jerry Bruckheimer, who both made $80 million
Dr. Luke Isn't Coming to "American Idol" After All
We JUST heard that DR. LUKE had been "confirmed" to be the third and final judge on "American Idol" next season, but apparently that is NOT happening after all. The "Hollywood Reporter" says things fell apart due to a contractual problem.
Tuesday TV Reminders:
• "RGIII: Will To Win" . . . 7:00 to 8:00 P.M. Eastern on ESPN. Washington Redskin's quarterback Robert Griffin III is profiled.
• "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on the CW. This week's celebrity guest is former professional boxer Laila Ali.
• "So You Think You Can Dance". . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. Jesse Tyler Ferguson from "Modern Family" guest judges as the top 6 dancers perform.
• "America's Got Talent" [Performance Show] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. Twelve semi-finalist acts perform.
• "Who Do You Think You Are?". . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TLC. Super model Cindy Crawford investigates her family ancestry back to the English Civil War.
• "The March" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on PBS. Denzel Washington narrates as supporters and participants of the 1963 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom recall their experiences.
• "Storage Wars: Texas" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on A&E.
• "Drunk History" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Comedy Central.
• "The Jeselnik Offensive" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on Comedy Central. Comedians Nick Kroll and John Mulaney are guests.
• "Ink Master" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Spike TV. Guitarist Dave Navarro sets artists clashing over who will work on his tattoo.
• "I Evil" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ID.
• "The Legend of Shelby the Swamp Man" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on History.
• "Nick Cannon Presents: Wild 'N Out" . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on MTV2. Lil Duval and rapper Joey Bada$$ are guests.
• "Ain't That America with Lil Duval" [1st Season Finale] . . . 11:30 P.M. to Midnight on MTV2.
Early Morning Show Guests:
• "The Today Show" Tennis players Serena Williams and Andy Murray, professional skateboarder Nyjah Huston, and author Marilyn Hagerty ("Grand Forks: A History of American Dining in 128 Reviews").
• "Good Morning America" - Nutrition expert David Zinczenko. Music Guest: Emeli Sandé.
• "CBS This Morning" - No guests listed yet. Check your local listings.
Mid-Morning Show Guests:
• "Live! With Kelly and Michael" - Salma Hayek ("Grown Ups 2") and Jane Lynch ("Glee"). (REPEAT)
• "The View" - Mariah Carey. "Modern Family's" Jesse Tyler Ferguson co-hosts. (REPEAT)
• "Rachael Ray" - Blythe Danner and diet expert Dr. Ian Smith. (REPEAT)
This Afternoon On TV:
• "Ellen DeGeneres" - Ted Danson ("CSI"). Music Guest: Bruno Mars. (REPEAT)
• "The Talk" - Blake Shelton (pimping the ACM awards) and Lulu Kennedy-Cairns. Music Guest: Blake Shelton. (REPEAT)
• "Katie Couric" - Céline Dion. (REPEAT)
• "Steve Harvey" - Personal trainer Mike Chang shares his 60-second workout plan. (REPEAT)
• "Dr. Phil" - "Deadbeat Son Part 2: Meet Grandma". A woman who enables her 23-year-old son to the point that it is destroying her marriage. (REPEAT)
• "Dr. Oz Show" - "What Does Your Personality Reveal About Your Health?" (REPEAT)
• "Wendy Williams" - NeNe Leakes ("The New Normal"). Music Guest: Miguel. (REPEAT)
Tonight's Late Night Talk Shows:
• "Letterman" - Alison Pill ("The Newsroom") and CNN's Anderson Cooper. Music Guest: Robert Randolph & the Family Band.
• "Jimmy Kimmel" - Sharon Stone ("Lovelace"), Dane Cook ("Planes"), and "The Bachelorette's" Desiree Hartsock. Music Guest: Jamie N Commons. (REPEAT)
• "The Tonight Show" - Josh Duhamel ("Scenic Route") and J.B. Smoove. Music Guest: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis.
• "Craig Ferguson" - Emily Mortimer ("The Newsroom") and comedian Barry Rothbart. (REPEAT)
• "Jimmy Fallon" - Paula Patton ("2 Guns") and Dan Aykroyd. Music Guest: Brad Paisley. (REPEAT)
• "Carson Daly" - Astronaut Buzz Aldrin and the alt rock band The Indecent. Music Guest: Big Black Delta. (REPEAT)
• "Conan" - Vin Diesel ("Fast & Furious 6") and Steve Schirripa ("Nicky Deuce"). Music Guest: The Mowgli's. (REPEAT)
• "Jon Stewart" - Pre-empted for a repeat of the roast of Donald Trump.
• "The Colbert Report" - Pre-empted for a repeat of the roast of Donald Trump.
• "Chelsea Lately" - Jeff Daniels ("The Newsroom").
Today's New CDs Include the Debut Album of Stephen Stills New Group . . . Plus New Music from Goodie Mob, Big Sean, Juicy J, and Little River Band
• "Can't Get Enough", the debut album from The Rides . . . a new blues-rock band formed by Stephen Stills, with Kenny Wayne Shepherd and Electric Flag keyboardist Barry Goldberg. It includes covers of Neil Young's "Rockin' in the Free World", Stills' own song "Word Game", and "Search and Destroy" by Iggy and the Stooges.
• "Hall of Fame", the second album from rapper Big Sean. It includes Nicki Minaj and Juicy J on a song called "MILF", and Miley Cyrus in the video for "Fire". His other guests include Nas, Common, 2 Chainz, Lil Wayne, Meek Mill, and Young Jeezy.
• "Age Against the Machine", the Goodie Mob reunion album . . . featuring "Voice" coach Cee-Lo Green with his original rap crew T-Mo, Khujo, and Big Gipp. Their guests for this album include T.I. and Janelle Monae.
• "Stay Trippy", the third solo album from Juicy J (of Three 6 Mafia). His guests include Justin Timberlake, A$AP Rocky, Lil Wayne, 2 Chainz, and Wiz Khalifa.
• "Famous", the sixth album from R&B singer Marques Houston . . . who you may also remember as Roger on the old sitcom "Sister Sister".
• "Overcomer", the fourth album by Mandisa . . . who you may remember as one of the finalists on the fifth season of "American Idol".
• "Another Self Portrait (1969-1971): The Bootleg Series Vol. 10", Bob Dylan
• "Right Thoughts, Right Words, Right Action", the fourth album from Franz Ferdinand. You can stream the whole album at NPR.
• "Hail to the King", the sixth album from the band Avenged Sevenfold
• "Winter Kills", the sixth album from the metal band Devil Driver
• "Carrier", the fifth album from the indie rock band The Dodos. Their new single, "Confidence", is streaming on their label's SoundCloud page.
• "Inland", the 11th album from the Christian pop rock band Jars of Clay
• "Love & The Outcome", self-titled debut album from the Christian rock band Love & The Outcome. You can check out their sound on their SoundCloud page.
• "Live At Royal Albert Hall", Scottish minx Emeli Sandé. This live album is being released exclusively at Target.
• "Cuts Like a Diamond", the new album from Little River Band is their first album of new material in almost a decade. It includes their new single "Lost and the Lonely".
• "Alabama & Friends", Alabama. They recorded two new songs for the set and their guests include Kenny Chesney, Toby Keith, Rascal Flatts,Trisha Yearwood, Luke Bryan, Jason Aldean, Eli Young Band, Florida Georgia Line, and Jamey Johnson.
• "Gone Away Backward", the new album from alt-country singer Robbie Fulks.
• "Lonely Comes Easy", a new bluegrass album by Chris Jones & The Night Drivers
• "What A Dream It's Been", a new album from Rockabilly Hall of Famers Big Sandy & His Fly-Rite Boys. To celebrate their 25th anniversary, they picked 12 of their favorite songs to perform with fresh acoustic arrangements.
Today's New DVDs Include "The Walking Dead" and "The Great Gatsby"
• "The Great Gatsby" . . . Leonardo DiCaprio plays Jay Gatsby, a rich playboy with a mysterious past, who throws huge parties at his mansion in the roaring '20s. He's obsessed with Carey Mulligan, a married woman he knew before the first World War. Tobey Maguire is also in it as Daisy's cousin, the guy who's narrating the story.
• "Pain and Gain" . . . Mark Wahlberg, Anthony Mackie, and The Rock play three bodybuilders who go on a crime spree in Miami after Marky Mark convinces the others to help him kidnap and torture one of his rich gym clients.
• "The Reluctant Fundamentalist" . . . A political thriller starring Riz Ahmed as a Pakistani Princeton graduate alienated by America on September 11th. He's suspected of kidnapping an American 10 years later. Liev Schrieber is a journalist investigating the kidnapping. Kate Hudson and Kiefer Sutherland are also in it in the flashbacks.
• "At Any Price" . . . Zac Efron wants to be a professional race car driver, but his dad wants him to take over the family farm. Dennis Quaid plays the father, and Heather Graham plays his mistress.
• "The Walking Dead: The Complete Third Season" . . . on a five-disc set.
• "Sons of Anarchy: Season Five" . . . on a four-disc set.
• "Grey's Anatomy: The Complete Ninth Season" . . . on a six-disc set.
• "Elementary: The First Season" . . . a six-disc set of the Sherlock Holmes series that stars Jonny Lee Miller as Holmes and Lucy Liu as Watson.
• "Call Me Fitz: The Complete Third Season" . . . a two-disc set of Jason Priestley's Canadian cable series.
"Madden 25" and the Final Map Pack for "Black Ops 2" Are Out Today
• "Madden NFL 25"is rated E for Everyone and available on Xbox360 and PS3. And if you're worried about whether to wait for a PS4 or Xbox One version, you can get a HUGE discount that lets you upgrade for as little as 10 bucks. (Next Gen Offer)
Barry Sanders is the cover athlete for the 25th edition of the only football game that's ever really mattered. Some of the new game features include:
. . . A new career mode that lets you play as the owner of the franchise to take control of every aspect of the team's performance . . . including stadium upgrades, answering media questions, and even moving your team to a different city.
. . . The fan-requested return of being able to change player positions during the offseason . . . which lets you do things like moving Tim Tebow to tight end.
. . . The new ability to manage your Fantasy Football team directly from inside the "Madden 25" menu, with almost all the same tools and info you'd have on NFL.com.
. . . The ability to upload and share custom rosters and playbooks with other users.
. . . More than 60 new celebration animations, including Colin Kaepernick's bicep kiss, Antonio Smith's sword fighting, J.J. Watt's finger wag, and both Clay Matthews' predator and dirty dancing celebrations. Check out the full list of moves here.
. . . A new game engine tracks all players simultaneously to predict collisions for more realistic impacts, and introduces 30 new moves that ball carriers can combo together.
You can also use your Kinect to call out plays and they've revamped the audible system from five preset audibles to different sets for each formation in your custom playbook.
(Trailer)
• The Apocalypse map pack for "Call of Duty: Black Ops 2" is now available for download on Xbox. Two of the new multiplayer maps are modified maps from previous games . . . the map Dig is a new version of the "World at War" map Courtyard, while Takeoff is a reworked version of the "Black Ops" map Stadium. (Trailer / Gameplay)
(And the new zombies experience is called Origins. This one takes you back to a diesel-punk version of World War I that also includes GIANT ROBOTS.)
• "Lost Planet 3" is a prequel to the first two games, for the Xbox360 and PS3. In this one, you're part of the construction team preparing the ice planet for colonization and fighting the native aliens for their thermal energy resources. It's Rated (T) for Blood, Mild Language, Violence. (Trailer)
• "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle: Out of the Shadows" is a four player game for the Xbox360 that you can download from Live Arcade. It's rated (T) for Violence. (Trailer) And here are individual trailers for Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, and Raphael.
• "Pokemon Rumble" is a fighting game on the Wii U. Up to four players can battle with over a 100 different Pokemon from the first five games in the series. It's rated E10+ because of mild cartoon violence. (Trailer)
• "Killer is Dead" for the Xbox360 and PS3 features an assassin with a bionic arm that can transform into a gun. But your primary attack is with a sword. It's rated (M) for Blood and Gore, Intense Violence, and Sexual Themes. (Trailer)
• "Final Fantasy XIV Online: A Realm Reborn" is an MMO for the PS3 and PC. A dragon has escaped and laid waste to the world. It's your job to make things right. It's rated (T) for Language, Mild Blood, Sexual Themes, and Violence. (Trailer)
Stupid News...
Get Ready to Slack Off This Friday Before Labor Day Weekend . . . Then Get Depressed On Labor Day Since Work's Coming
: Your work is about to suffer because of Labor Day . . . and your Labor Day is about to suffer because of work. According to one new survey, about HALF of Americans admit their productivity goes down right before a long weekend for a holiday. But another survey found work gets revenge . . . because the average person gets bummed out about going back to work by 4:00 P.M. on a holiday.
. (PR Newswire / Cambridge News)
Your Facebook Friends Could Affect Your Credit?
Here's the latest Facebook scandal: Your Facebook friends could affect your CREDIT. They won't affect your traditional FICO score . . . but there are a handful of new companies that are analyzing your Facebook friends to determine whether you're a safe bet for credit. If you're friends with a bunch of delinquents, it looks bad for you.
What's the Most Disgusting Food Combination You've Seen Someone Eat? Here Are the Eight Worst
We all know people who eat disgusting food combinations. Here are some of the worst: Pepper on top of chocolate ice cream . . . Goldfish crackers and milk as a breakfast cereal . . . pasta with brown sugar . . . and peanut butter and jelly on jalapeno cheese bread . . . and ketchup mixed into Coke.
1. Canned asparagus and mayonnaise.
2. Pasta with brown sugar.
3. Ketchup mixed into Coke.
4. Peanut butter and jelly on jalapeno cheese bread.
5. A sandwich with bananas and ketchup on white bread.
6. Pepper on top of chocolate ice cream.
7. Goldfish crackers and milk as a breakfast cereal.
8. Mustard on oatmeal.
(Reddit)
The Top Eight Things Your Parents Did That You Swear You'll Never Do
What are you going to do differently than your parents? Here are some of the top things people say their parents did . . . but they'll NEVER do to their own kids: Call them names or tell them they're stupid . . . avoid talking about sex . . . act closed-minded . . . show favoritism . . . or use "Because I said so" as a justification.
1. Call their kids names or tell them they're stupid.
2. Avoid talking about sex. Even if it's uncomfortable, you've gotta have that talk.
3. Act closed-minded about race, religion, music, or hobbies.
4. Get angry over insignificant things.
5. Make hypocritical decisions.
6. Show favoritism toward one kid over the others.
7. Use "Because I said so" as a justification.
8. Use hitting as a form of punishment.
(Reddit)
Do You Know When Grandparents Day Is?
Do you know when Grandparents Day is? Of course you don't. But your grandparents claim THEY know. 78% of grandmas and 64% of grandpas surveyed said they know it's the first Sunday after Labor Day . . . which is September 8th this year.
. (PR Newswire)
A Man Sitting on His Porch, Waiting to Shoot an Evil Raccoon, Sneezes and Accidentally Shoots Himself
: Last week, a raccoon was terrorizing an 81-year-old man in Connecticut by scratching on his door. So on Saturday, the guy grabbed his rifle and sat on his porch waiting for it. But while he was on his stakeout he SNEEZED, fell out of his chair, and accidentally shot himself in the leg. He was treated at the hospital and released.
The 10 U.S. Cities That Are Safest From Natural Disasters
Here are the top five U.S. cities that are safest from floods, earthquakes, hurricanes, tornados, and wildfires: Syracuse New York . . . Cleveland, Ohio . . . Akron, Ohio . . . Buffalo, New York . . . and Bethesda, Maryland.
10. Warren, Michigan.
9. Denver, Colorado.
8. Chicago, Illinois.
7. Allentown, Pennsylvania.
6. Dayton, Ohio.
5. Bethesda, Maryland.
4. Buffalo, New York.
3. Akron, Ohio.
2. Cleveland, Ohio.
1. Syracuse, New York. (CBS News)
Police Get a Call About People With Guns on a Boat . . . Turns Out They're Celebrity Impersonators Dressed as Action Movie Stars
Last week, police in London got a call about four people with GUNS on a speedboat. When they got there, they found they were actually CELEBRITY IMPERSONATORS, dressed as Tom Cruise, Angelina Jolie, Daniel Craig, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. They had fake guns and were doing a publicity stunt for a boat company. No arrests were made.
Celeb Birthdays...
DARYL DRAGON! - 71 (THE CAPTAIN OF CAPTAIN & TENNILLE!)
PEE-WEE HERMAN! - 61 (A.k.a. Paul Reubens. He was caught feverishly pleasuring himself in an adult movie theater, and for that, the fascists who run the Hollywood Walk of Fame ripped out Pee-Wee's sacred star.)
Alexa Vega - 25 (Adorable Carmen in the "Spy Kids" movies. She grew up into quite the minx and as an adult she starred in "Repo! The Genetic Opera" . . . and was on David Cassidy's ABC Family show "Ruby and the Rockits". Hopefully she gets her hands dirty as KillJoy in "Machete Kills" this October.)
Aaron Paul - 34 (He's won two Emmys for his role as Jesse on "Breaking Bad". Meth: Bad fodder for teeth, great fodder for Emmy-winning performances.)
Sarah Chalke - 37 (She went from being the lame, SECOND Becky on "Roseanne" to playing the amazingly hot Dr. Elliot Reid on "Scrubs". How did that happen?)
Mase - 39 (Puffy's protégé who left the rap game for six years to become a preacher. Mo' money, mo' problems, know what I'm sayin'? His comeback album, "Welcome Back", contains NO CUSSING.)
Jimmy Pop - 41 (Bloodhound Gang clown-ass.)
The Great Khali - 41 (WWE Rassler who played the ENORMOUS Indian guy in "Get Smart", "MacGruber" and Adam Sandler's version of "The Longest Yard".)
Tony Kanal - 43 (Bassist in No Doubt. This FOOL used to nail Gwen Stefani. Then HE dumped HER?!? No Doubt's hit "Don't Speak" is about their breakup.)
Chandra Wilson - 44 (Short, chocolaty Dr. Miranda Bailey on "Grey's Anatomy".)
Cesar Millan - 44 (The Dog Whisperer! You have to be doh-min-ent.)
Taylor Wayne - 45 (Mattress actress who's starred in 241 films, including "A League Of Their Moans", "Taylor Wayne's World", "Wild Wild Chest 3", "Breast Friends", "Cat-Fight Club" and "Assault With a Friendly Weapon". She was also one of the many chicks in Gene Simmons' "Firestarter" video.)
Bobo -45 (Cypress Hill)
"Downtown" Julie Brown - 50 (Former MTV Vee-Jay. She's now resting comfortably under the Rock of Obscurity next to Bill Bellamy and Kennedy.)
Glen Matlock - 57 (Bassist with the Sex Pistols before and after Sid Vicious.)
ALEX LIFESON - 60 (SUPER-COOL GUITARIST OF RUSH.)
Jeff Cook - 64 (Alabama)
Sergeant Slaughter - 65 (Old-school WWF rassler, G.I. Joe action figure AND innovator of THE COBRA CLUTCH. You got that, Maggot?)
HARRY REEMS - Would have been 66 - (1947 - 2013)
Barbara Bach - 66 (Wife of Ringo Starr. She's probably hated by MILLIONS of Japanese women who lust after her man. Ringo's HUUUGE in Japan, ya know.)
Tuesday Weld - 70
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 3 days until Labor Day Weekend
• 12 days until Grandparents Day
• 23 days to Talk Like a Pirate Day
• 50 days until Boss's Day
• 65 days until Halloween
• 1,242 days left of "Hope and Change"
Back in the day...
48 years ago . . . in 1965 - THE BEATLES hung out with ELVIS PRESLEY for three hours at Elvis' Beverly Hills mansion. Elvis later said he didn't remember meeting them. CLASSIC.
46 years ago . . . in 1967 - BRIAN EPSTEIN, manager of THE BEATLES, was found dead in his London flat from an overdose of sleeping pills.
37 years ago . . . in 1976 - The U.S. Open Tennis Championship barred 43-year-old RENEE RICHARDS from competition because she used to be Dr. RICHARD Raskind.
"He-she" refused to take a chromosome test to prove "he-she" was a female. Richard/Renee later did play on the women's tour for four years then coached super-lesbian MARTINA NAVRATILOVA.
31 years ago . . . in 1982 - RICKEY HENDERSON, of the Oakland A's, stole four bases in a game to break LOU BROCK'S record of 118 steals in one season. He finally retired from baseball in 2003.
31 years ago . . . in 1982 - "Zapped!" was released . . . and the mega-watt partnership of SCOTT BAIO and WILLIE AAMES was born!!! (???)
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