Your daily dose of Whatever!!

Is Gwyneth Paltrow Counseling Beyoncé Through Her "Split" with Jay Z? 

 

 

We still don't know if rumors of a BEYONCÉ / JAY Z split are true, but if they are, then there's no reason THIS can't be true as well . . .

 

 

"Us Weekly" says Beyoncé is getting advice on how to CONSCIOUSLY UNCOUPLE by the woman who started it all, GWYNETH PALTROW.  Because she wants her breakup to appear as amicable and Gwyneth's split from CHRIS MARTIN.

 

 

A source says, quote, "The day after the announcement, Bey and Jay will be spotted together.  The two will be all lovey-dovey."

 

 

(In related news, Gwyneth took the Ice Bucket Challenge in a bikini.  And she nominated Chris, along with Cameron Diaz and Stella McCartney.)

 

 

 

 

 

Is It Over Between Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey? 

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  Sources say MARIAH CAREY and NICK CANNON are living apart and headed for divorce because they can't stand each other.  Mariah reportedly doesn't trust Nick, while Nick is tired of being bossed around.  One source says, quote, "Nick loathes that Mariah treats him like her servant.  She gives him a chore list and barks orders at him."

Zac Efron and Michelle Rodriguez Broke Up After a Huge Fight 

 

 

One of the weirdest relationships of the summer is over:  ZAC EFRON and MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ are through . . . supposedly after having a big fight in Ibiza, Spain.

 

 

We don't know what the fight was about, but a source says, quote, "Michelle is going to do her own thing.  Zac knew this about her when he got with her.  He's very into her though, and perhaps more than she's into him."

 

 

Zac reportedly still wants to be with Michelle, and hasn't given up on her.  (I have a feeling I know what they fought about:  Zac having a PENIS.  And don't tell me that's not the first thing YOU thought about.)

Did Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson Separate Briefly This Summer? 

 

 

TOM HANKS and RITA WILSON have been married for 26 years.  But that doesn't mean they don't hit a rough patch every once in a while.  And a source says they lived separately for about a month earlier this summer because, quote, "they weren't seeing eye-to-eye."

 

 

But another source says this did NOT happen.

 

Meg Ryan and John Mellencamp Have Broken Up 

 

 

MEG RYAN and JOHN MELLENCAMP have broken up, after three years together.  A sourse says, quote, "It was the distance.  She lives in New York and he resides in Indiana.  It was the long distance that ultimately was the cause."

 

 

Mellencamp recently told "Rolling Stone" he was too "sensitive" to live in New York . . . quote, "I can't see poor people.  I can't see the suffering.  I can't see the trash on the streets . . . I'm not leaving Indiana.  I'm going to die here."

 

Justin Bieber Has Broken Up with His Mustache 

 

 

JUSTIN BIEBER has finally learned something the rest of the world has known for about a year:  He's a FAILURE at facial hair.  So yesterday, he took a RAZOR to the stragglers that were collecting under his nose and on his chin.

 

 

He even posted a video of himself beginning the shaving process . . . and a picture of his smooth face after he was done.

 

William Hung is Married 

 

 

Remember when "American Idol" reveled in the humiliation of horrible singers?  WILLIAM HUNG was the KING of that era.

 

 

Well, William doesn't do much singing anymore, but we just found out that he got MARRIED in June.  And his new bride is actually kinda SEXY.  (Here's a wedding pic.)

 

 

For the record, William is 31 now, and he works as an administrative assistant for the L.A. County Department of Public Health.  (And here, because it simply never gets old, is William's "Idol" audition.)

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

 

 

1.  VANESSA HUDGENS looks amazing on the cover of "Flaunt" magazine.

 

 

 

2.  ADRIANNE CURRY isn't exactly A-list, but as long as she looks like THIS in a bikini, she'll never go away.

 

 

 

3.  Here's SELENA GOMEZ in Daisy Dukes and boots.

 

 

 

4.  Check out some shots of HENRY CAVILL as Superman from "Batman v. Superman:  Dawn of Justice".

 

George W. Bush's Wife Dumped Ice Water on His Head, and He Nominated Bill Clinton 

 

GEORGE W. BUSH accepted the Ice Bucket Challenge for ALS.  Initially, he said he didn't think it was "presidential," so he was going to write a check, but then his wife Laura doused him.  He then challenged BILL CLINTONMICHAEL JORDAN also did it, and challenged the entire 1992 Dream Team.

Robin Williams' Ashes Were Scattered in the San Francisco Bay the Day After He Died 

 

 

ROBIN WILLIAMS has already been laid to rest.  According to his death certificate, his ashes were scattered in the San Francisco Bay on August 12th . . . the day after he died.

 

 

The cause of death is still "pending", although we know he hung himself.  They're probably just waiting for toxicology tests to see if there was anything like alcohol or drugs . . . prescription or otherwise . . . in his system.

 

 

The document lists Robin's occupation as "Actor and Comedian", and says he's been in the "Entertainment" industry for 43 years.

Thursday TV Reminders:

 

 

• The fifth season finale of "Rookie Blue" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.

 

 

"Big Brother" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS.  Another houseguest is evicted.

 

 

"Project Runway" . . . 9:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Lifetime.  Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn guest judges.

 

 

"LeAnn & Eddie" . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on VH1.  LeAnn Rimes is worried about her fertility levels and has them tested.

Tonight's Late Night Talk Shows:

 

 

"The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon" - Josh Brolin, Artie Lange, and Giada De Laurentiis.

 

 

"Late Night with Seth Meyers" - Zach Braff, Jack Antonoff, and the Bleachers.  (Repeat)

 

 

"Letterman" - Chadwick Boseman, Serena Williams, and Echo & the Bunnymen.

 

 

"Jimmy Kimmel" - The stars of "Guardians of the Galaxy" . . . Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Vin Diesel, and Bradley Cooper.  (Repeat)

 

 

"Carson Daly" - "Raid" director Gareth Evans, the indie rock band Arthur Beatrice, and a look at the documentary "Finding Vivian Maier".  (Repeat)

 

 

"Conan" - A show dedicated to the flubs, blunders, and bloopers from Conan's last four years of rehearsals.

 

 

"Craig Ferguson" - Kathy Bates.  (Repeat)

 

 

"Chelsea Lately" - Jennifer Lopez.

 

 

Both "Jon Stewart" and "The Colbert Report" are off this week.  They'll return on Tuesday, August 26th.

 

Five Random Facts For Thursday

1.  More Americans died in the Civil War than any other war we've fought in . . . about 625,000 men, or around 2% of the population at the time.  Of course, it kinda makes sense that more Americans died in the Civil War . . . we were killing each other.

 

 

2.  The most popular beer in the world is a beer called Snow.  It's only sold in China, but people there put down almost three billion gallons of it last year.

 

 

3.  The Ice Bucket Challenge has used about five million gallons of water so far.  So is it a "waste of water"?  When there are millions around the world WITHOUT fresh water?  Not compared to THIS:  the average American household uses 320 gallons per DAY.

 

 

4.  You could fit every single planet between the Earth and the moon and still have about 5,000 miles to spare.

 

 

5.  About 25% of the hazelnuts in the world are used to make Nutella.

 

 

57% of Americans Say Only Kids Who Win Should Get Trophies

According to a new survey, 57% of us think only kids who WIN things should get trophies, not EVERY kid.  And people who make more money and have more education are more likely to say only winners should get trophies.

 

 

It's Bad to Pee in the Pool . . . But Good to Pee in the Ocean

It's bad to pee in a swimming pool, and can actually cause respiratory problems for people.  But in the ocean, it's not just okay to pee . . . it's actually GOOD.  There's a chemical compound in your pee that helps feed the plants in the water.

 

Photo of the Day:  A Mom Caught Her Son Hooking Up With His Girlfriend . . . and Made Her a Cake About Dry Humping to Let Her Know It's Okay?

An 18-year-old kid in Texas was hooking up with his girlfriend recently, when his MOM walked in.  So to clear the air, his mom baked a cake for the girlfriend that said, quote, "Sorry we caught you dry humping our son!"  And the kid posted a photo of it online.

Shoe Vending Machines Are Popping Up Outside Nightclubs . . . So You Can Take Off Your Heels But Not Walk Barefoot

The days of walking home barefoot after taking off your heels are over.  Shoe vending machines are springing up outside nightclubs in Vegas . . . and soon they'll be in other cities too.  For $20 you get a pair of basic, flat shoes . . . plus a pouch to put your heels in.

 

An Old Woman Gets Hurt Inside a Corn Maze . . . So Paramedics Have to Quickly Solve the Maze and Rescue Her

An elderly woman in England fell and broke her arm in a corn maze on Tuesday, and paramedics knew they had to get to her quickly.  But they had to solve the MAZE to do it.  Somehow they got to the woman and carried her out without too many maze-related delays, and she was rushed to the hospital for treatment.

Maxim Knight is 15.  Matt Mason on TNT's "Falling Skies".

 

 

Hayden Panettiere is 25.  Kirby in "Scream 4", Claire the sexy, indestructible cheerleader on "Heroes", and Beth Cooper in "I Love You, Beth Cooper".  Now she's Juliette Barnes on "Nashville".

 

 

Usain Bolt is 28.  Jamaican Olympic sprinter.  He may think a little too highly of himself, but then again, he IS the FASTEST MAN ALIVE.  (Check out this crazy photo of lightning striking as Usain was winning the 100 Meter world championship last year.)

 

 

Brody Jenner is 31.

 

 

Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss are 33.  The two twins who sued Mark Zuckerberg for allegedly stealing their idea to make Facebook.  They got a reported $65 million settlement in 2008 . . . but they're STILL bitter.

 

 

Kelis is 35"Milkshake" minx who gave birth to Nas' baby . . . and now rakes in $300,000 per year in child support.

 

 

Amy Fisher is 40.  Now a legit porno star.  (NOT SAFE FOR WORK Photos and video here.)

 

 

Liam Howlett is 43.  The Prodigy.

CARRIE-ANNE MOSS is 47.  Incredible minx who is Trinity in "The Matrix" trilogy and Natalie in "Memento".  Sadly, she has "graduated" to mom-type roles, in movies like Shia LaBeouf's "Disturbia" and a zombie comedy you never saw called "Fido" . . . which is actually REALLY good.

 

 

Serj Tankian is 47.  System of a Down superstar.

 

 

JEFF STRYKER is 52.  Pornographic he-whore who's also a HOMOEROTIC COUNTRY SINGER.  (Here's his song "Pop You in the Pooper". Enjoy.)

 

 

Jim McMahon is 55.  Already dealing with early-onset dementia, thanks to the beating he took during his NFL career.  Remember the "Super Bowl Shuffle"?  I DO.

 

 

Kim Cattrall is 58.  Slutty Samantha on "Sex and the City".

Glenn Hughes is 62.  Bassist (slash) singer for Deep Purple, and singer for Black Sabbath during those ugly mid-'80s years.  He was recently in a great band called Black Country Communion . . . but they broke up.

 

 

He's not to be confused with the OTHER Glenn Hughes, who was the original LEATHERMAN (biker, if you will) in the Village People.  THAT Glenn Hughes is now dead.  Not AIDS.  Lung cancer.

Jackie DeShannon is 70.  Biggest Hits:  "What The World Needs Now" AND "Put A Little Love In Your Heart"(She also co-wrote "Bette Davis Eyes" . . . which Kim Carnes turned into a hit in 1981.)

 

 

KENNY ROGERS is 76.  Plastic surgery victim.

 

Related Comedy:  Kenny Rogers turns 76 today, but he only looks 71 thanks to his terrific facelifts.

 

 

Joe Strummer  (1952 - 2002)  The Clash's singer.

 

 

Wilt Chamberlain  (1936 - 1999)  Probable cause of death:  SEXUAL EXHAUSTION.  (Wilt once claimed to have had sex with 20,000 women.)

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• 8 days to Labor Day Weekend

• 17 days to Grandparents Day

• 21 days to September 11th

• 29 days to Talk Like a Pirate Day

• 883 days left of "Hope and Change"

400 years ago . . . In 1614, Hungarian Countess ELIZABETH BATHORY passed away in prison.  She believed that "BLOOD BATHS" from the blood of young girls would preserve her complexion.

 

 

Over 10 years, she kidnapped 610 girls and hung them in chains in her castle as a source for blood.  When she was captured, her accomplices were beheaded and burned.

 

 

(There's a scene in "Hostel, Part 2" in which a very sexy middle-aged lady takes a rather gruesome blood bath.  In case you care.)

 

 

136 years ago . . . In 1878, Hell on Earth began when the AMERICAN BAR ASSOCIATION was founded in Saratoga, New York.

 

 

127 years ago . . . In 1887, DAN CASEY struck out in the 9th inning of a game against the New York Giants.  Sports columnist Ernest L. Thayer went home and began work on a poem entitled, "Casey at the Bat".

 

 

103 years ago . . . In 1911, the "Mona Lisa" was stolen from the LOUVRE in Paris by an employee named Vincenzo Peruggia.  It was recovered two years later.

 

 

55 years ago . . . In 1959, HAWAII was let in as the 50TH STATE in the Union.  Down there, they call the reefer "pakalolo".  (???)

38 years ago . . . In 1976, RCA Victor Records announced that ELVIS PRESLEY had passed the 400 MILLION mark in record sales.  Now, they estimate that he's sold that many just outside the U.S. . . . and about ONE BILLION total.

 

 

38 years ago . . . In 1976, LARRY FLYNT married his fourth wife, Althea Leasure . . . the one whom SUCCUBUS COURTNEY LOVE played in the movie, "The People vs. Larry Flynt".

 

 

20 years ago . . . In 1994, JOHN DENVER was charged with drunk driving after crashing his Porsche into a tree in his Aspen, Colorado, neighborhood.

 

(His drunk driving trial ended with a hung jury.  Even though his blood alcohol level was .128, his attorney argued that a thyroid condition made the test unreliable.)

 

(The trial ended in July of 1997, just three months before John crashed his plane into the Pacific Ocean.  The autopsy said there wasn't any alcohol in his system, but still . . . DON'T DRINK AND FLY!!!)

 

 

13 years ago . . . In 2001, NATE DOGG got three years' probation and a $1,000 fine for allegedly KIDNAPPING HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND, HOLDING HER AT GUNPOINT, and SETTING HER MOTHER'S CAR ON FIRE.

 

 

(He got off so easy because his ex-girlfriend refused to cooperate with prosecutors . . . so all they got him on was a charge of possession of an unmarked gun.)

 

 

(Sadly . . . or not . . . Nate died of complications from multiple strokes in March of 2011.)

 

 

Five years ago . . . In 2009, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America lifted its ban on sexually active gays and lesbians from serving as ministers.

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