Your daily dose of WHATEVER!
Is Someone Trying to Sell Nude Photos of Demi Lovato?
Someone is trying to sell supposed NUDE photos of DEMI LOVATO. The seller says, quote, “These are Demi. The collection I have show some nude, including face, some including parts of the body Demi is known for: tattoos, butt, chin. Then, I have pictures of her getting rowdy . . . I can guarantee you these photos are legitimately of Demi.” So far no one has published them.
Did Kim Kardashian Have Fat From Her Legs Moved Into Her Butt?
“Life & Style” magazine says KIM KARDASHIAN actually got fat from her legs lipo’ed and injected into her butt. Meanwhile, she and baby NORTH were photographed at the funeral of KANYE WEST’S grandfather in Oklahoma City . . . but the baby was covered up, as usual.
Miley Cyrus Twerking on Things is the New Meme of the Moment
The new meme of the moment is MILEY CYRUS TWERKING ON THINGS. People are taking a very butt-centric picture of Miley from a recent photo shoot and Photoshopping it into all kinds of interesting images.
They include the Royal Wedding, PRESIDENT OBAMA’S inauguration, CLINT EASTWOOD’S infamous conversation with an empty chair, and the moon landing.
HBO Delivered Some Male Nudity Sunday Night
Just last week, someone released a parody video, asking HBO to show more MALE nudity to balance out all the female body parts you can see on their various shows.
Well, Sunday night’s “True Blood” season finale SORT OF delivered, with a scene in which ALEXANDER SKARSGARD is reading a book NAKED on a lawn chair in the SNOW in Sweden.
He suddenly starts catching fire and has to jump off the chair . . . and that’s when his BAIT AND TACKLE become visible.
Gisele Bundchen Is Still the World’s Highest-Paid Model
Forbes has released its annual list of the World’s Highest-Paid Models . . . and for the SEVENTH year in a row, GISELE BUNDCHEN sits comfortably at the top, making $42 MILLION over the past year. That’s SIX TIMES more than second-place finisher MIRANDA KERR, who made $7.2 million. Gisele also made more than her husband TOM BRADY, who earned $38.3 million.
Dick Van Dyke’s Jaguar Caught Fire on the Freeway
87-year-old comedy legend DICK VAN DYKE was taking a drive yesterday when his Jaguar suddenly CAUGHT FIRE on the 101 Freeway in Los Angeles. Van Dyke got out safely, but the car was TOTALED. He later said he felt lucky to be alive.
Russell Simmons Buried Spike Lee
After SPIKE LEE ripped RUSSELL SIMMONS over that HARRIET TUBMAN sex tape video, Russell went right back after Spike . . . telling him he should work for one of his five charities. Then he added, quote, “Or maybe he can use his energy and make a decent movie. But he had a lot of energy that he put into this. Too much energy.”
Helpful Tip: If You’re Watching “Breaking Bad” and Your Cable Goes Out . . . Don’t Call 911
The authorities in Southern Connecticut say they received a “FLURRY” of 911 calls on Sunday night . . . because people were upset that their cable went out during “Breaking Bad”. The local police posted a message on Facebook warning people that they can be arrested for misusing the 911 system.
Tuesday TV Reminders:
• “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on the CW. Keegan Michael Key from the sketch comedy show “Key and Peele” is this week’s celebrity guest.
• “So You Think You Can Dance”. . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. Jenna Elfman guest judges as the top 8 dancers perform, before two of them are eliminated.
• “America’s Got Talent” [Performance Show] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. Twelve acts perform and each judge gets a chance to bring back a wildcard act.
• “Who Do You Think You Are?”. . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TLC. “NCIS: Los Angeles” star Chris O’Donnell investigates his paternal ancestry.
• “Storage Wars: New York” [2nd Season Finale] . . . 9:30 to 1:00 P.M. on A&E.
• “Drunk History” . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Comedy Central. Aubrey Plaza (“Parks and Recreation”) and Tony Hale (“Veep”) reenact a drunken version of the 1925 Scopes monkey trial.
• “The Jeselnik Offensive” . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on Comedy Central. Comedians Thomas Lennon and Marc Maron are guests.
• “Nick Cannon Presents: Wild ‘N Out” . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on MTV2. Amar’e Stoudemire and Macklemore & Ryan Lewis are guests.
Early Morning Show Guests:
• “The Today Show” – Chef Mark Bittman, plus a report on the bike ride for slain M.I.T. police officer Sean Collier.
• “Good Morning America” – No guests listed yet. Check your local listings.
• “CBS This Morning” – Sleep expert Michael Breus.
Mid-Morning Show Guests:
• “Live! With Kelly and Michael” – Jimmy Kimmel. (REPEAT)
• “The View” – Lisa Kudrow (“Web Therapy”) and Natasha Lyonne (Netflix’s “Orange Is the New Black”). Music Guest: Curtis Fields. (REPEAT)
• “Rachael Ray” – How to pick out jeans to make you look thinner and tips for dining out on a diet. (REPEAT)
• “Kris” – Alfonso Ribeiro co-hosts.
This Afternoon On TV:
• “Ellen DeGeneres” – Howie Mandel and Dave Grohl. Music Guests: The Foo Fighters and Rick Springfield. (REPEAT)
• “The Talk” – Anna Chlumsky (“Veep”), Khloé Kardashian, and Asiatic minx Chi-Lan Lieu (HGTV’s “Living Abroad”). Pat Harvey co-hosts. (REPEAT)
• “Katie Couric” – “Solutions for the People Driving You Nuts!” (REPEAT)
• “Steve Harvey” – A woman who claims her boyfriend won’t commit, plus the secret tips and tricks to online dating that could increase your odds. (REPEAT)
• “Dr. Phil” – “Missing or Murdered: Where Is 15-Year-Old Erica?”
• “Dr. Oz Show” – “30 and Older: The New Faces of HPV”. Dr. Oz and a panel of doctors discuss HPV and its cancer risks if left undetected. (REPEAT)
• “Wendy Williams” – Kerry Washington (“Scandal”) and matchmaker Paul Carrick Brunson (OWN’s “Lovetown, USA”). (REPEAT)
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “Letterman” – Louis C.K. (“Blue Jasmine”). Music Guest: John Legend.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Chloë Grace Moretz (“Kick-Ass 2″) and Liam Hemsworth (“Paranoia”). Music Guest: The National. (REPEAT)
• “The Tonight Show” – Kate Hudson (“Clear History”) and sportscaster Bob Costas. Music Guest: Kopecky Family Band. (REPEAT)
• “Craig Ferguson” – Jamie Chung (“The Hangover Part III”) and Ethan Hawke (“The Purge”). (REPEAT)
• “Jimmy Fallon” – Andy Samberg (“The To Do List”), and Texas bucket list couple Marcine and Nita Lou Webb. Music Guest: New Order. (REPEAT)
• “Carson Daly” – Kevin Bacon (“The Following”). Music Guest: Superhumanoids. (REPEAT)
• “Conan” – Zach Galifianakis (“The Hangover Part III”) and comedian Jim Gaffigan for his book “Dad Is Fat”. Music Guest: Beware of the Darkness. (REPEAT)
• “Jon Stewart” – Regis Philbin (Fox Sports 1’s “Crowd Goes Wild”). John Oliver guest hosts. (REPEAT)
• “The Colbert Report” – Senator Sheldon Whitehouse. (REPEAT)
• “Chelsea Lately” – Round table guests are Josh Wolf, Loni Love, and Gary Valentine.
This Week’s CDs Include Jimmy Buffett, John Mayer, Lee DeWyze and R&B’s New “TGT” Supergroup
• “Songs From St. Somewhere”, the 29th album from Jimmy Buffett . . . It includes a duet with Toby Keith on a track called “Too Drunk to Karaoke”.
• “Paradise Valley”, the sixth album from John Mayer . . . His guests include Katy Perry on “Who You Love”, and Frank Ocean on “Wildfire”.
• “Frames”, the new Lee DeWyze album . . . He’s arguably the LEAST memorable “American Idol” winner. He was the champ three years ago, on Season Nine.
• “Made Up Mind”, the second album from the Tedeschi Trucks Band
• “I Hate Music”, the tenth album from the indie rock band Superchunk
• “Sway”, the seventh album from the rock band Blue October
• “Where You Stand”, the seventh album from the Scottish alt-rock band Travis
• “Three Kings”, the debut album from TGT . . . the R&B ‘supergroup’ formed by Tyrese, Ginuwine, and Tank
• “Doris”, the debut solo album of Earl Sweatshirt, who’s a member of the rap collective Odd Future. His guests include Mac Miller, RZA, and Odd Future members Tyler the Creator, Frank Ocean and Domo Genesis.
• “Trap Lord”, the debut album from A$AP Ferg. . . . His guests include Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, Waka Flocka Flame, Onyx, B-Real from Cypress Hill, and A$AP Rocky.
This Week’s CDs (continued)
• “Headlights, Taillights and Radios”, the 10th album by country singer Tracy Lawrence
• “Keep It Redneck”, the third album from the southern rock duo The Lacs. It includes “Idol” contestant Sarah Ross on the song “Relacs” . . . plus Colt Ford and country music newcomer JJ Lawhorn rock with them on the song “Field Party”.
• “Rubberband”, the debut album from country singer Charlie Worsham. It features his hit “Could It Be” . . . plus a collaboration with Marty Stuart and Vince Gill on a song called “Tools of the Trade”.
(You might also get a kick out of a “Gangham Style” cover that he posted to his YouTube channel. Sadly, that’s not on the album.)
• “Cluck Ol’ Hen”, Ricky Skaggs and Bruce Hornsby performing a mix of new music and traditional bluegrass music.
• “Sweetheart of the Sun”, the sixth album by the Australian group The Greencards. “Time” magazine describes them as “halfway between Americana and bluegrass.” You can preview the entire album here.
This Week’s New DVDs Include “Scary Movie 5″ and “Epic”
• “Epic” . . . Amanda Seyfried stars in this animated movie about a teenage girl who’s recruited by tiny warriors for a battle to save Mother Nature after she’s accidentally shrunk down to their size. And Josh Hutcherson is the rookie warrior who finds her.
• “Scary Movie 5″ . . . Ashley Tisdale stars in the latest “Scary Movie”, which also features Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Heather Locklear, Molly Shannon, Snoop Dogg, Bow Wow, “Modern Family’s” Sarah Hyland, and “30 Rock’s” Katrina Bowden.
• “Killing Season” . . . John Travolta plays a Serbian soldier who pretends to be a tourist on a hunting trip to get revenge against a U.S. veteran played by Robert DeNiro.
• “Shadow Dancer” . . . Andrea Riseborough from “Oblivion” plays an Irish woman who becomes an informant against the IRA after being arrested during a failed attack on London. Clive Owen and Gillian Anderson are also in it.
• “NCIS: The Tenth Season” . . . on a six-disc DVD set.
• “NCIS Los Angeles: The Fourth Season” . . . on a six-disc set.
• “Boardwalk Empire: The Complete Third Season” . . . on a five-disc set.
• “The Good Wife: The Fourth Season” . . . on a six-disc set.
• “Mike & Molly: The Complete Third Season” on a three-disc set.
• “Revenge: The Complete Second Season” . . . on a five-disc set.
• “Parenthood: Season Four” on a three-disc set.
New “Splinter Cell” and “Saint’s Row” Games Are Out . . . Along with a Disney Game That Lets You Play as Jack Sparrow, Buzz Lightyear and The Incredibles
• “Splinter Cell: Blacklist“ is the sixth game in the series. A terrorist group issues an ultimatum in the form of a list of escalating attacks against U.S. targets. So, black ops agent Sam Fisher has to prevent the attacks before they hit all their “blacklist” targets.
One of the new features in this one lets you designate multiple targets so you can take them all out on the run. The game’s available for the Xbox360, PS3, Wii U, and PC, and is rated (M) for Intense Violence, Drug Reference, and Strong Language. (Trailer)
• “Saints Row IV“ is a co-op game that takes place five years after the events of the third game. You play the leader of the Saints street gang again, except this time you’re somehow elected President of the United States . . . AND you have to fight aliens.
The Saints are captured and imprisoned by the aliens in a virtual reality, so things get a little weird. You’ll have the ability to defy gravity, use super powers, and fight with ray guns and other crazy weapons like a “dub-step gun” that incapacitates with music.
The voice actors include Neil Patrick Harris and Michael Dorn, who you know as Worf from “Star Trek: The Next Generation”. Plus Daniel Dae Kim is back as the voice of Johnny Gat, even though his character supposedly died in the last game.
The game is rated (M) for just about EVERYTHING young children shouldn’t be exposed to. It’s available on Xbox360, PS3, and the PC. (Trailer)
This Week’s New Games (continued)
• “Disney Infinity“ is out for the Xbox360, PS3, and both versions of the Wii. After connecting your console to a device called the Infinity Base with a USB cable, you set toy figurines on top of that device to unlock character sets in the game.
The starter pack comes with collectible figurines for Jack Sparrow from “Pirates of the Caribbean“, Sully from “Monsters University“ and Mr. Incredible from “The Incredibles“. You then play in the worlds from their movies, or build your own world.
They also have a “Lone Ranger“ set so you can play as Tonto, and a “Cars“ set that lets you play as Lightning and Mater, but those packs are sold separately. Future play-sets will include Woody and Buzz, Jack Skellington, and Rapunzel.
There’s also a handheld 3DS version and an iPad app. Plus there will be a PC version out in October. The game is rated (E10+) for Cartoon Violence. (Trailer)
“The Bureau: XCOM Declassified“ is the second game in the rebooted “XCOM” franchise. It’s set in 1962 in the middle of an extraterrestrial invasion on American soil. You play an FBI agent in charge of investigating and stopping the invasion.
The game is available for the Xbox360, PS3, and PC. It’s rated (M) for Blood and Gore, Strong Language, and Violence. (Trailer)
Ten Words That Just Sound Dirty
You know how some words just SOUND dirty, even though they’re not? Yeah, we’re that immature. Here are our five favorites: Kumquat . . . dongle . . . rectory . . . caulk . . . and angina. You’re welcome.
1. Uvula. That’s the thing that hangs down in the back of your throat.
2. Kumquat. It’s a fruit, you pervert. Sort of like a small orange.
3. Dongle. You know, the little plug-in devices for your computer.
4. Rectory. The residence for a priest. Which makes it even dirtier.
7. Coccyx. (Pronounced cock-six.)
9. Flagellum. That’s the little tail on microscopic cells.
10. Angina. A heart condition that gives you chest pain.
The 10 Things Men Do in the Kitchen That Drive Women Crazy
According to a new survey, here are the top things men do in the kitchen that irritate women the most: Making a mess while they’re cooking . . . not helping with the dishes . . . giving advice . . . watching over your shoulder . . . and adding ingredients behind your back.
According to a new survey, here are the top 10 things men do in the kitchen that irritate women the most . . .
1. Making a mess when he’s cooking.
2. Not helping with the dishes even when YOU cooked.
3. Offering cooking advice like a backseat driver.
4. Watching over your shoulder while you’re cooking.
5. Adding ingredients and interfering behind your back.
6. When he’s secretly a better cook than you are.
7. His cooking tastes awful.
8. He takes too long to make things.
9. Posting photos of meals he cooks on Facebook.
10. Hogging the kitchen and refusing to let you cook. (Daily Mail)
Women Find Their Perfect Hairstyle at Age 36 . . . But Don’t Think They Can Pull It Off Anymore by Age 46
According to a new survey, the average woman doesn’t figure out her ideal hairstyle until age 36. Then by 46, she decides she’s too OLD for it, and opts for a more mature look. That’s also the age when the majority of women think ponytails, bleached hair, and visible roots are no longer acceptable.
44% of People Talk About Religion at Work . . . 37% Talk About Race
A new survey asked Americans whether they discuss TABOO topics in the office. And . . . yes. Yes we do. 43% of people have talked politics at work . . . 44% have talked about religion . . . 37% have talked about race . . . and 84% gossip with coworkers about the problems they’re having at work.
If a Bus Was Going to Hit Either Your Dog or a Foreigner, Who Would You Save?
A new study asked people what they’d do if they saw a bus speeding down the street, and it was either going to hit their dog or a foreign tourist. Which one would they push out of the way? And 40% of people . . . including 46% of women . . . say they’d save their DOG over the stranger.
Bears Are the New Sharks! Seven People in Five States Have Been Attacked by Bears in the Last Week
: In just the last week, SEVEN people in Alaska, Colorado, Wyoming, Idaho, and Michigan have been attacked by BEARS. Fortunately, it’s just random, unlucky chance . . . bears haven’t decided to go on the offensive against humans. And none of the seven people were killed.
Only 6% of People Over 65 Would Describe Themselves as “Old”
According to a pretty inspiring new survey out of England, only SIX PERCENT of people between 65 and 93 years old say they’d describe themselves as “old.” They don’t FEEL elderly or frail, and they don’t think they live their lives like they’re OLD. So, no . . . to them, they’re not “old.”
Demi Lovato – 21 (Disney anger ball who punched a backup dancer because she was angry about being fat then went to rehab so she could stop cutting herself and learn to appreciate the fact that she’s richer than 99% of the world’s population and barely out of her teens. Or something like that.)
Andrew Garfield – 30 (“Spider-Man” stud who also played Eduardo Saverin, the guy who gets screwed over in “The Social Network”.)
Ben Barnes – 32 (Prince Caspian in the “Chronicles of Narnia” movies.)
Monique Powell – 38 (Super-sexy super-sized lead singer of Save Ferris. I LOVE HER.) (Let’s groove to the band’s cover of “Come on Eileen” in honor of Monique’s birthday, shall we?)
Amy Adams – 39 (Lois Lane in the new Superman movie “Man of Steel”. She also starred opposite Jason Segel in the new “Muppets” movie, and opposite Marky Mark Wahlberg and Christian Bale in “The Fighter”.)
Jonathan Ke Quan – 42 (The little Asiatic kid with the gadgets in “The Goonies” AND Short Round in “Indiana Jones & The Temple Of Doom”.) (He did NOT appear in the fourth “Indiana Jones” . . . which is RACIST and WRONG.)
FREDDY DURST – 43 (Tragically reformed Limp Bizkit with guitarist Wes Borland. SOOO glad they’re back.)
KRS-One – 48 (Rap pioneer.)
James Marsters – 51 (Spike, the white-haired British vampire who was making the undead beast with two backs with Buffy on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”. He was also Brainiac on “Smallville” and is Lex Luthor’s voice in “DC Universe Online”.)
Joan Allen – 57 (The wholesome mom who turned from black and white into naughty color in “Pleasantville”. She was also Kevin Kline’s wife in “The Ice Storm” . . . where they played naughty SWINGERS . . . and the CIA agent after Jason Bourne in “The Bourne Supremacy” and “The Bourne Ultimatum”.)
AL ROKER – 59 (SEXY CHOCOLATE CHUBBY. Although he did lose some of his delicious candy-coating after he had gastric bypass surgery.)
Theresa Saldana – 59 (She played the wife of Joe Pesci’s character in “Raging Bull” AND the wife on “The Commish”.)
Peter Horton – 60 (“Thirtysomething” stud and dumbass who let Michelle Pfeiffer get away. They were married for seven years in the ’80s . . . when people cared who Peter Horton was.)
Rudy Gatlin – 61 (The Gatlin Brothers.)
John Hiatt – 61 (Singer-songwriter. Jewel re-did his beautiful song “Have A Little Faith In Me” for the beautiful John Travolta movie “Phenomenon”. Jewel has beautiful breasts.) (?)
Robert Plant – 65 (Sexy Led Zeppelin singer who supposedly packs 10 INCHES.)
John Noble – 65 (Australian character actor who owned his role as Dr. Walter Bishop on “Fringe”.)
Jimmy Pankow – 66 (Blows the mighty tromBONE for CHICAGO.)
CONNIE CHUNG – 67 (Sexy Asiatic newswoman who can’t sing to save her life. Maury Povich gets to interracially nail her anytime he wants to.)
ISAAC HAYES – Would have been 71 – (1942 – 2008) (Sexy Scientologist and Oscar-winning writer of the classic line, “Who’s the black private dick that’s a sex machine to all the chicks? SHAFT! You’re damn right.” Also Chef on “South Park”.)
“Dimebag” Darrell Abbott – (1966 – 2004) (Guitarist for Pantera and Damageplan who was killed at a concert in Ohio when a fan ran on stage and shot him at point-blank range. Four other people died in the rampage that followed, including the killer.)
Benjamin Harrison – (1833 – 1901) (Five-foot-six man who rose to be the 23rd president of the United States.)
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 10 days until Labor Day Weekend
• 19 days until Grandparents Day
• 30 days to Talk Like a Pirate Day
• 57 days until Boss’s Day
• 72 days until Halloween
• 1,249 days left of “Hope and Change”
Back in the day….
73 years ago . . . in 1940 – British Prime Minister WINSTON CHURCHILL paid tribute to the ROYAL AIR FORCE, saying, quote, “Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.”
49 years ago . . . in 1964 – PRESIDENT LYNDON JOHNSON signed a nearly $1 BILLION anti-poverty measure . . . and as we see today, IT WORKED. (???)
39 years ago . . . in 1974 – NOLAN RYAN of the California Angels became the first major league pitcher to have a fastball clocked at over 100 MPH. And he did it WITHOUT ‘ROIDS. We think.
36 years ago . . . in 1977 – The United States launched VOYAGER 2, an unmanned spacecraft carrying a 12-inch gold-plated phonograph record that scientists hoped ALIENS would find and play, to learn about Earth.
The record contained greetings in 55 languages, samples of music and nature sounds.
24 years ago . . . in 1989 – JOSE MENENDEZ and his wife, KITTY, were shot to death in their Beverly Hills mansion by their loving sons, ERIK and BALDING LYLE.