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Whatever 8.20

Your daily dose of Whatever!!

Dave Grohl’s Ice Bucket Challenge Video is a Parody of the Movie “Carrie” . . . And It’s the Best One Yet 

DAVE GROHL of the FOO FIGHTERS unleashed a brilliant Ice Bucket Challenge video, which is an elaborate remake of the famous prom / bucket of blood scene from the 1976 horror movie “Carrie”.  Dave plays Carrie, and the rest of the band also takes part.  Taylor Hawkins plays her date . . . while Pat Smear and Nate Mendel play the kids who trigger the bucket drop.

David Arquette’s Transgender Sister Says She Nailed Jared Leto . . . And He’s Huge 

Transgender Arquette sibling ALEXIS ARQUETTE claims she had sex with JARED LETO back when she was still a HE.  And she says his manhood was MASSIVE, and looked like the helmet of a Praetorian Guard from ancient Rome.  (???)

Khloe Kardashian’s Rapper Boyfriend Says He’s Not Dating Her for the Fame

KHLOE KARDASHIAN’s rapper boyfriend, FRENCH MONTANA, recently admitted that he wanted to, quote, “capitalize” on his girlfriend’s fame.  But now he wants to clarify those remarks.  He says he was taken out of context . . . adding, quote, “I was so mad about that.  If I’m with somebody, I’m not with them for that reason.”

Are Jennifer Lopez and Casper Smart Doing It Again? 

 

 

JENNIFER LOPEZ was caught Monday in the passenger seat of a white convertible driven by ex-boyfriend CASPER SMART.  And when she saw photographers, she tried to duck out of sight.

 

 

Does that mean they’re DOING IT again?  A source says, quote, “They are still friends [but] they are not back together.”

 

 

J-Lo has recently been linked to “Dancing With the Stars” stud and alleged woman-beater MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY.

Are Drake and Rihanna Doing It Again? 

 

 

DRAKE and RIHANNA were at a club together in New York City Monday night.

 

 

They didn’t arrive or leave together, but they were inside the club at the same time for about two hours.  And witnesses say that they were, quote, “deep in conversation, flirtatious and whispering in each other’s ears.”

 

 

There’s no word, official or otherwise, on the status of their relationship.

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

 

 

1.  Someone who’s now a personal hero of mine posted screen caps of JESSICA SIMPSON’S cleavage from her new perfume ad.

 

 

 

2.  Someone needs to tell ROSE MCGOWAN she looks dangerously like Liza Minnelli.  Points for the cleavage, though.

 

 

 

3.  I think HELEN HUNT went a little overboard with the sunscreen.

 

 

 

4.  Here’s KATIE HOLMES as an elementary school teacher-turned-gun-toting vigilante in her new movie “Miss Meadows”.

 

 

 

5.  PETE WENTZ from FALL OUT BOY has gone blonde.

 

 

 

6.  UConn quarterback CASEY COCHRAN has a glorious mullet.

 

 

The Spirit of Patrick Swayze Moved Through Gary Busey! 

On Britain’s “Celebrity Big Brother”, GARY BUSEY said the spirit of PATRICK SWAYZE visited him recently . . . quote, “Patrick Swayze’s spirit came right through me [the other day] . . .  I’ve been to the other side, after my death after brain surgery . . . so I have a connection to that spiritual world.”

Watch Jerry Seinfeld Scold a Woman for Parking Too Close to His Porsche 

JERRY SEINFELD was seen scolding a woman for almost hitting his 1973 Porsche, while she was trying to park in front of it.  The woman was so rattled she just left, presumably to find another parking spot.  When Jerry saw a photographer taking pictures, he left too.

(Check out the photos here.)

No One Wants to Buy Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift’s Crappy Perfumes Anymore 

Elizabeth Arden just saw their stock tank dramatically . . . and they’re blaming it on stars like JUSTIN BIEBER and TAYLOR SWIFT.  A rep told the “New York Post”, quote, “The decline in sales of celebrity fragrances, particularly the Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift ones, was steeper than anticipated.”

“20/20′s” Robin Williams Special Took Sixth Place in the Ratings

 

 

Last week’s “20/20″ special on the death of ROBIN WILLIAMS attracted 7.4 million viewers, which was good enough for sixth place in the ratings.  It featured interviews he’d given Barbara Walters and Diane Sawyer, plus updates on the investigation.

 

 

Meanwhile, SEAN BEAN’S new TNT spy series “Legends”, premiered with 2.6 million viewers . . . the eighth season finale of “Last Comic Standing” had 4.9 million . . . and the Fox show “Gang Related” ended its first season with 2.4 million viewers.

 

 

Here are last week’s Top 10 primetime shows:

 

1.  Last Wednesday’s “America’s Got Talent”, NBC, 10 million viewers.

 

2.  Last Tuesday’s “America’s Got Talent”, NBC, 9.7 million viewers.

 

3.  “NCIS”, CBS, 8.1 million viewers.

 

4.  “60 Minutes”, CBS, 7.9 million viewers.

 

5.  “The Big Bang Theory”, CBS, 7.7 million viewers.

 

6.  “20/20: Robin Williams”, ABC, 7.4 million viewers.

 

7.  “Under the Dome”, CBS, 6.9 million viewers.

 

8.  Sunday’s “Big Brother”, CBS, 6.8 million viewers.

 

9.  Last Wednesday’s “Big Brother”, CBS, 6.7 million viewers.

 

10.  Last Thursday’s “Big Brother”, CBS, 6.4 million viewers.

Wednesday TV Reminders:

 

 

“So You Think You Can Dance” . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.  Christina Applegate guest judges, Rixton performs “Me and My Broken Heart”, and the top six dancers perform with all stars from the previous seasons.

 

 

“America’s Got Talent” . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC.  Seven acts are eliminated as five acts advance to the semi-finals.

 

 

“Who Do You Think You Are?” . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TLC.  Kelsey Grammer looks into his ancestry.

 

Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:

 

 

“The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon”Jared Leto, Amy Brenneman, and Thirty Seconds To Mars.

 

 

“Late Night with Seth Meyers”Regis Philbin, John Henson, and the Broods.  (Repeat)

 

 

“Letterman”Kathy Griffin, Ken Burns, and Jeremy Messersmith.

 

 

“Jimmy Kimmel”Ted Danson, Eva Green, and Jake Owen.  (Repeat)

 

 

“Carson Daly”Veronica Roth, the Preatures, and MisterWives.  (Repeat)

 

 

“Conan”Pierce Brosnan, Jaime King, and Hampton Yount.

 

 

“Craig Ferguson”Ricky Gervais, and Keb’ Mo’.  (Repeat)

 

 

“Chelsea Lately” – Chelsea is interviewed by Joel McHale.

 

 

Both “Jon Stewart” and “The Colbert Report” are off this week.  They’ll return on Tuesday, August 26th.

Five Random Facts For Wednesday

1.  Mussolini didn’t actually make Italy’s trains run on time.  Most of the work on improving their rail system was done before he came to power in 1922.

 

 

2.  The version of “Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory” with Gene Wilder was basically a bomb . . . it cost $3 million to make and only made $4 million at the box office in 1971.

 

 

3.  Banana slugs have the same junk size as humans.  Banana slugs are about six to eight inches long . . . and believe it or not, when one gets engorged, his JUNK is also six to eight inches long.

 

 

4.  Barry Manilow wrote the jingle for State Farm Insurance . . . “Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.”  He also wrote the jingle for Band-Aid . . . “I am stuck on Band-Aid brand ’cause Band-Aid’s stuck on me.”

 

 

5.  The medical term for a unibrow is synophrys.  (Pronounced sin-OFF-riss.)

 

 

(Snopes / The Numbers / Ravishly / Barry Net / Wikipedia)

Seeing a Cute Animal Instantly Puts Women in a Better Mood . . . For Men It’s Seeing an Attractive Woman

A new survey asked women and men what “sights” instantly put them in a better mood.  For women, the top three are:  Cute animals . . . a beautiful beach . . . and a baby smiling.  For men, the top three are:  An attractive woman . . . a beautiful beach . . . and watching sports.

 

(Daily Mail)

The Bigger Your Wedding, the Happier Your Marriage?

Believe it or not, people who have bigger weddings actually have happier marriages.  A new study found 47% of people who had 150 or more people at their wedding have a happy marriage . . . versus 31% of people who had 50 or less.

(Washington Post / Before-I-Do / USA Today)

Two-Thirds of Men and a Third of Women Watch Porn at Work

A new survey found one out of three women and two out of three men watch PORN at work.  The majority don’t watch it at work that often . . . but 4% of women and 14% of men watched at least 10 times in the past few months.

 

(Proven Men)

Americans Are Jealous of the Vacation Time People Get in Other Countries

Americans are jealous of the vacation time people get in other countries . . . and we have a right to be.  A new survey found Americans average the fewest paid vacation days of any first-world country . . . and only 24% of us think that’s fair.

(CNN Money)

Taco Bell Has a New Dollar Menu . . . Which Actually Increases the Prices on Some Things

Taco Bell is rolling out a new dollar menu this week . . . but since Taco Bell is ALREADY so cheap, some of the things on the menu actually got a price INCREASE.  Four of the eleven items on the $1 menu used to sell for under $1, and now cost MORE.

 

(Business Insider / Daily Mail)

 

Your Next Car Won’t Have a Spare Tire . . . And That’s Fine, Since You Don’t Know How to Change a Flat Anyway

The next car you buy probably won’t have a spare tire.  Car companies have been getting rid of them for three main reasons . . . it’s cheaper to include a kit to patch the tire . . . the weight from the spare hurts gas mileage . . . and you don’t know how to change a tire anyway, you’d probably just call a tow truck.

(Consumer Reports)

Demi Lovato is 22.  Disney anger ball who punched a backup dancer because she was angry about being fat then went to rehab so she could stop cutting herself and learn to appreciate the fact that she’s richer than 99% of the world’s population and barely out of her teens.  Or something like that.  (???)

 

 

Andrew Garfield is 31“Spider-Man” stud who also played Eduardo Saverin, the guy who gets screwed over in “The Social Network”.

 

 

Ben Barnes is 33.  Prince Caspian in the “Chronicles of Narnia” movies.

 

 

Monique Powell is 39.  Super-sexy super-sized lead singer of Save Ferris.  I LOVE HER.  (Let’s groove to the band’s cover of “Come on Eileen” in honor of Monique’s birthday, shall we?)

 

 

Amy Adams is 40.  Lois Lane in “Man of Steel” and the upcoming “Batman v. Superman:  Dawn of Justice”.  She also starred opposite Marky Mark Wahlberg and Christian Bale in “The Fighter”.

 

Your kids know her as Giselle in “Enchanted” . . . and as Amelia Earhart in “Night at the Museum:  Battle of the Smithsonian”.

 

 

Jonathan Ke Quan is 43.  The little Asiatic kid with the gadgets in “The Goonies” AND Short Round in “Indiana Jones & The Temple Of Doom”(He did NOT appear in the fourth “Indiana Jones” . . . which is RACIST and WRONG.)

 

 

FREDDY DURST is 44.  Tragically reformed Limp Bizkit with guitarist Wes Borland.  SOOO glad they’re back.

 

KRS-One is 49.  Rap pioneer.

 

 

James Marsters is 52.  Spike, the white-haired British vampire who was making the undead beast with two backs with Buffy on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”.  He was also Brainiac on “Smallville” and is Lex Luthor’s voice in “DC Universe Online”.

 

 

Joan Allen is 58.  The wholesome mom who turned from black and white into naughty color in “Pleasantville”.  She was also Kevin Kline’s wife in “The Ice Storm” . . . where they played naughty SWINGERS . . . and the CIA agent after Jason Bourne in “The Bourne Supremacy” and “The Bourne Ultimatum”.

 

 

AL ROKER is 60.  SEXY CHOCOLATE CHUBBY.  Although he did lose some of his delicious candy-coating after he had gastric bypass surgery.

 

 

Theresa Saldana is 60.  She played the wife of Joe Pesci’s character in “Raging Bull” AND the wife on “The Commish”(She was attacked and nearly murdered by a stalker on her front lawn . . . and was only saved by a heroic bottled-water deliveryman.)

Peter Horton is 61“Thirtysomething” stud and dumbass who let Michelle Pfeiffer get away.  They were married for seven years in the ’80s . . . when people cared who Peter Horton was.

 

 

Rudy Gatlin is 62.  The Gatlin Brothers.

John Hiatt is 62.  Singer-songwriter.  Jewel re-did his beautiful song “Have A Little Faith In Me” for the beautiful John Travolta movie “Phenomenon”.  Jewel has beautiful breasts.  (?)

 

 

Robert Plant is 66.  Sexy Led Zeppelin singer who supposedly packs 10 INCHES.

 

 

John Noble is 66.  Dr. Walter Bishop on “Fringe”.

 

 

Jimmy Pankow is 67.  Blows the mighty tromBONE for CHICAGO.)

 

 

CONNIE CHUNG is 68.  Sexy Asiatic newswoman who can’t sing to save her life.  Maury Povich gets to interracially nail her anytime he wants to.

 

 

ISAAC HAYES (1942 – 2008)  Sexy Scientologist and Oscar-winning writer of the classic line, “Who’s the black private dick that’s a sex machine to all the chicks?  SHAFT!  You’re damn right.”  Also Chef on “South Park”.

 

 

“Dimebag” Darrell Abbott  (1966 – 2004)  Guitarist for Pantera and Damageplan who was killed at a concert in Ohio when a fan ran on stage and shot him at point-blank range.  Four other people died in the rampage that followed, including the killer.

 

 

Benjamin Harrison  (1833 – 1901)  Five-foot-six man who rose to be the 23rd president of the United States.

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• 9 days to Labor Day Weekend

• 18 days to Grandparents Day

• 19 days to International Literacy Day

• 22 days to September 11th

• 30 days to Talk Like a Pirate Day

• 884 days left of “Hope and Change”

74 years ago . . . In 1940, British Prime Minister WINSTON CHURCHILL paid tribute to the ROYAL AIR FORCE, saying, quote, “Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.”

 

 

(The RAF held back the Nazi invasion of Britain from July through October.)

 

 

50 years ago . . . In 1964, PRESIDENT LYNDON JOHNSON signed a nearly $1 BILLION anti-poverty measure . . . and as we see today, IT WORKED.  (???)

 

 

40 years ago . . . In 1974, NOLAN RYAN of the California Angels became the first major league pitcher to have a fastball clocked at over 100 MPH.  And he did it WITHOUT ‘ROIDS.  We think.

 

 

37 years ago . . . In 1977, the United States launched VOYAGER 2, an unmanned spacecraft carrying a 12-inch gold-plated phonograph record that scientists hoped ALIENS would find and play, to learn about Earth.

 

 

The record contained greetings in 55 languages, samples of music and nature sounds.

 

 

25 years ago . . . In 1989, JOSE MENENDEZ and his wife, KITTY, were shot to death in their Beverly Hills mansion by their loving sons, ERIK and BALDING LYLE.

22 years ago . . . In 1992, after 10 years, TANTRIC SEX MASTER STING finally married his saucy live-in lover TRUDIE STYLER.  Today is their 21st wedding anniversary.

 

 

18 years ago . . . In 1996, PRESIDENT CLINTON approved the first MINIMUM WAGE increase in five years, raising the hourly minimum by 90 cents to $5.15 per hour.  (The current minimum wage is $7.25 per hour.)

 

 

18 years ago . . . In 1996, SNOOP DOGGY DOGG settled out of court with the Woldemariam family in a wrongful death suit, which they’d brought against him three years earlier.

17 years ago . . . In 1997, Alabama dedicated a 50-mile stretch of Interstate 65 to the memory of HANK WILLIAMS, renaming that section the “Hank Williams Memorial Lost Highway”.

 

 

Two years ago . . . In 2012, PHYLLIS DILLER died in her sleep at the age of 95.

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