Your daily dose of WHATEVER!
Photos of the rich and famous….
NICKI MINAJ hit up a strip club in Queens Sunday night. The girls let her touch their butts . . . and she let them touch hers. She Tweeted, quote, “I love bad [B-words] dats my [effin’] problem.” (TMZ)
HEATHER LOCKLEAR will be 52 in September, and her body still looks amazing. (People)
Despite all the breakup rumors, JENNIFER ANISTON and JUSTIN THEROUX were spotted shopping in Beverly Hills on Sunday. (UsWeekly)
PARIS HILTON inadvertently recreated one of those old Coppertone ads, when a little dog tugged on her sarong at the beach. The only thing missing was the buttcrack. (TMZ)
LEA MICHELE posted some sexy photos from her weekend getaway in Mexico. In one, she’s showing some bikini cleavage in a pool. In another that’s appropriately captioned, “Last look at paradise”, she’s showing off some serious butt. (Pic1, Pic2)
George Clooney and Stacy Keibler May Have Broken Up
The Internet has pretty much decided that GEORGE CLOONEY and STACY KEIBLER broke up. One source claims it’s because she wants to start a family. But others say their work schedules just kept them apart too much. George and Stacy dated for about two years. He’s 52, she’s 33.
Now the Obamas Are on Amanda Bynes’ Ugly List
The list of people AMANDA BYNES has called “ugly” on Twitter just grew by two. Yesterday she Tweeted, quote, “Barack Obama and Michelle Obama are ugly!”
For those keeping score, the Ugly List also includes Drake, Rihanna, Zac Efron, Lance Bass, Miley Cyrus, Jay-Z, Jenny McCarthy, Courtney Love . . . plus her own father and sister.
Tuesday TV Reminders:
• “So You Think You Can Dance”. . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. The top 18 dancers perform with two being eliminated.
• “Bad Girls All Star Battle” [1st Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Oxygen.
• “Betty White’s Off Their Rockers” . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC. Ed Asner makes a guest appearance.
• “America’s Got Talent” [Auditions] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC.
• Storage Wars: New York” [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on A&E.
• “Interior Therapy with Jeff Lewis” [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Bravo.
• “Property Envy” [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Bravo. Stephen Collins hosts this panel talk show spotlighting luxury real estate with interior designer Mary McDonald, property experts Jeff Lewis and Brandie Malay.
• “Exit” [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Syfy.
• “Swamp Murders” [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ID.
• “Drunk History” [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Comedy Central. Derek Waters hosts with guests Bob Odenkirk, Jack Black, and Dave Grohl acting out drunken conversations from various historical events.
• “The Jeselnik Offensive” [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on Comedy Central. Comedians Amy Schumer and Jim Norton are guests.
• “Watch What Happens: Live” . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Bravo. Alyssa Milano (“Mistresses”) and chef Roblé Ali (“Chef Roblé and Co.”) are guests.
• “Total Blackout” [2nd Season Finale] . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Syfy.
• “Nick Cannon Presents: Wild ‘N Out” [5th Season Premiere] . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on MTV2. Kevin Hart and D.J. Khaled guest.
• “Ain’t That America with Lil Duval” [Series Premiere] . . . 11:30 P.M. to Midnight on MTV2. Comedian Lil Duval breaks down the most outrageous viral videos on the web with the help of guests Alesha Renee and Jon Gabrus.
Early Morning Show Guests:
• “The Today Show” – Ryan Reynolds, Michael Peña and Luis Guzmán (“Turbo”), Nick Cannon, survivalist Bear Grylls (“Get Out Alive with Bear Grylls”), and author Matthew Hussey (“Get the Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve”).
• “Good Morning America” – No guests listed yet. Check your local listings.
• “CBS This Morning” – Aisha Tyler and Dunkin’ Donuts CEO Nigel Travis.
Mid-Morning Show Guests:
• “Live! With Kelly and Michael” – David Spade (“Grown Ups 2″), survivalist Bear Grylls (“Get Out Alive with Bear Grylls”), and dog trainer Justin Silver.
• “The View” – Jeff Daniels (“The Newsroom”) and Bernadette Peters. “I Love Jenni’s” Chiquis Rivera co-hosts.
• “Rachael Ray” – Organizer Peter Walsh and Buddy Valastro (“Cake Boss”).
This Afternoon On TV:
• “Ellen DeGeneres” – Kaley Cuoco (“The Big Bang Theory”), Padma Lakshmi (Bravo’s “Restaurant Wars”) and YouTube sensation Keone and Mariel Madrid. (REPEAT)
• “The Talk” – Jane Seymour, chef Susan Feniger (“Best Thing I Ever Made”), and Asiatic minx Chi-Lan Lieu (HGTV’s “Living Abroad”). Regis Philbin co-hosts.
• “Katie Couric” – Environmental activist Erin Brockovich . . . and Rachelle Spector, the wife of convicted murderer and record producer Phil Spector.
• “Steve Harvey” – Steve surprises a single mother with his biggest giveaway ever, plus Steve examines a technique called “rejection therapy”. (REPEAT)
• “Dr. Phil” – “Outrageous Parenting Styles”. A mother of five who admits to being an overprotective parent. (REPEAT)
• “Dr. Oz Show” – “Your Most Embarrassing Questions: Summertime Edition!”
• “Wendy Williams” – Bethenny Frankel (pimping her new talk show “Bethenny”).
• “Anderson Live” – The owners of the Meatball Shop Daniel Holzman and Michael Chernow. Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi co-hosts. (REPEAT)
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “Letterman” – Adam Sandler (“Grown Ups 2″). Music Guest: Joseph Arthur.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Kevin Bacon (“R.I.P.D.”) and Diane Kruger (FX’s “The Bridge”). Music Guest: The Bacon Brothers.
• “The Tonight Show” – Comedian Dane Cook and producer Nev Schulman (“Catfish: The TV Show”). Music Guest: Matt Nathanson.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Morgan Freeman and comedienne Cathy Ladman.
• “Jimmy Fallon” – David Spade (“Grown Ups 2″) and Kris Jenner. Music Guest: Mudhoney.
• “Carson Daly” – Kal Penn (Discovery Channel’s “The Big Brain Theory”) and director Shane Carruth. Music Guest: The Neighbourhood. (REPEAT)
• “Conan” – Mary-Louise Parker (“Red 2″ and “R.I.P.D.”), Breckin Meyer (“Franklin & Bash”). Music Guest: Portugal. The Man.
• “Jon Stewart” – Pre-empted.
• “The Colbert Report” – Pre-empted.
• “Chelsea Lately” – Denise Richards (ABC Family’s “Twisted”). (REPEAT)
This Week’s CDs Include New Music from Jay-Z, Pitbull, Ciara, and Travis Tritt
• “Magna Carta Holy Grail”, Jay-Z . . . The album officially comes out today, but Samsung Galaxy users had access to it on July 4th.
• “International Takeover”, Mr. 305 featuring Pitbull and Friends . . . including Trina, Baby Bash, and Trick Daddy. Mr. 305 Inc. is Pitbull’s label, and Miami’s area code.
• “Ciara”, Ciara . . . with Nicki Minaj on “I’m Out”, and Future on “Where You Go”.
• “Don’t Look Down”, the second album from Skylar Grey . . . It features guest appearances by Eminem, Travis Barker, Big Sean, and Angel Haze.
• “Bliss Avenue”, Dana Fuchs . . . She’s described as the next Janis Joplin. You may remember her as Sadie in “Across the Universe”. Check her out at danafuchs.com.
• “Can Do”, rock guitarist Pat Travers
• “Game of Thrones: Music from the HBO Series”
• “Bula Quo!”, the 30th album from the British rock band Status Quo
• “Honey Locust Honky Tonk”, a solo album from Robert Pollard of Guided by Voices
• “Forever”, the sixth album from R&B singer Donell Jones
• “Blackest Beautiful”, the third album from the hard rock band Letlive
• “Made in Britain/The World Record”, a live concert album from Whitesnake
• “Hardcore”, Devo . . . a rerelease of their two volume collection of 1970s demos.
• “The Calm After…”, Travis Tritt. This is an updated version of his 2007 album “The Storm”. He brought in his 15-year-old daughter Tyler Reese for a duet on the Patty Smyth – Don Henley classic “Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough”.
Today’s New DVDs Include “Spring Breakers” and Stephenie Meyer’s “The Host”
• “The Host” . . . starring Saoirse Ronan as a girl fighting for control of her mind after an alien takes over her body. It’s based on a book by “Twilight” author Stephenie Meyer, so naturally the alien eventually falls in love with a guy in the human resistance.
• “Admission” . . . starring Tina Fey as a Princeton admissions officer who bends the rules for an applicant who she believes could be the son she secretly gave up for adoption. Paul Rudd plays Tina’s love interest, and Lily Tomlin is in it as her mom.
• “Spring Breakers” . . . Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, and Ashley Benson from “Pretty Little Liars” fund a raunchy spring break trip by robbing a fast food joint . . . then get busted on drug charges, and bailed out by a low life played by James Franco.
• “Tyler Perry’s Temptation” . . . starring the very sexy Jurnee Smollett-Bell as a married woman who has an affair with a handsome billionaire. It’s a serious movie about adultery, that also features Kim Kardashian, Brandy, and Vanessa Williams.
• “Dead Man Down” . . . Noomi Rapace blackmails Colin Farrell after she witnesses him killing a guy. But it turns out they both want revenge against Terrence Howard, who scarred up her face and killed Farrell’s family.
• “Unforgettable: The First Season” . . . This is the show with Poppy Montgomery as a cop with a photographic memory. CBS cancelled after one season, but then changed their minds and decided to bring it back. The second season premieres on July 28th.
• “Warehouse 13: Season Four” . . . a five-disc set of the SyFy Channel series. The show will be back for its fifth and final season next year.
• “Portlandia: Season Three” . . . a two-disc set of the IFC sketch comedy series.
• “Bonanza: The Sixth Season” . . . sold in two volumes with a total of nine discs.
• “Dynasty: The Seventh Season” . . . sold in two volumes with a total of seven discs.
• “The Twilight Zone: The Complete Third Season” . . . on a five-disc set
• “Quincy M.E. Season Six” . . . a five-disc set of the show that starred Jack Klugman as a medical examiner who was always running around solving crimes.
• “Robot Chicken: The DC Comics Special”
• “Kimba the White Lion: The Complete Series”
NCAA Football, a Vampire Stealth Game, and a New Walking Dead Episode
• “The Walking Dead: 400 Days“ is new downloadable content that came out over the holiday weekend to fill the void between the game’s first season of content and the upcoming release of its “Season 2.” “400 Days” is a special episode split into five short stories, with the zombie apocalypse told from the viewpoint of five different survivors.
• “NCAA Football 14“ is this year’s college football game for the Xbox360 and PS3. Its new features include an improvement to how you move in and out of the recruitment menus, so you can get back on the field faster. Plus the coaches will now level up to help with offense, defense, and landing the big recruit in the off season. (New Features)
You’ll also be able to get alumni legends like Calvin Johnson and Barry Sanders in digital card packs for the first time. The game’s rated (E) for everyone. (Trailer)
• “Dark“ is an Xbox-exclusive game where you play as a newly-turned vampire who can’t remember anything before his transformation. For this stealth action game you try to uncover a mystery behind your past and a global corporation. It’s rated (M) for the blood, partial nudity, and language. A PC version is also available today. (Trailer)
• “Metal Gear Solid: The Legacy Collection“ is a compilation of all eight of the main “Metal Gear” titles that have been released over the past 25 years. This PS3-exclusive package also includes two graphic novels and a 100 page artbook. It’s rated (M) for intense violence, partial nudity, and strong language. (Trailer)
The 10 Things That Annoy Us Most Each Day
According to a new survey, we get annoyed by things beyond our control seven times a day. And the five most annoying things are: Pushy salespeople . . . email spam . . . foreign call centers . . . being put on hold . . . and people who don’t clean up after their dogs.
The Average Guy Wants to Stop Shopping After 26 Minutes
According to a new survey, the one thing men hate doing with their wife or girlfriend more than anything else is . . . SHOPPING. The average guy has a limit of 26 minutes. After that they’re DONE and want to go home.
Most Women Think the Midlife Crisis Thing is Made Up . . . and Just an Excuse for Guys to Do Something Stupid
In a new survey, almost SIX out of 10 women say there’s no such thing as a midlife crisis . . . it’s just a, quote, “poor excuse” for a guy to do something stupid. But 21% of women think it’s real, and actually a BIOLOGICAL NECESSITY
. (CBS News)
What’s the Age When You Can Measure a Man’s Success?
How old does a man have to be before you can measure his success? In a new poll, 23% say you can measure success at age 40 . . . 18% say you can measure success as early as age 30 . . . and another 23% say you can only measure a man’s success on their DEATHBED.
Check Out a Comparison of How Retired People and Working People Spend Their Time
A new breakdown of retired people versus working people found retired people sleep half an hour more . . . watch an hour more of TV . . . and spend 40 more minutes reading. But retired people also spend an hour more on housework and cooking than working people.
You Can Now Buy a Crunchy Chicken Enchilada Melt Packed With Fritos . . . at Subway?
There’s a new fast food sandwich called the Crunchy Chicken Enchilada Melt, and it’s packed with Fritos . . . but it’s not at Taco Bell. Believe it or not, it’s at SUBWAY. They’re testing it in Seattle and central Florida, but there aren’t any official plans to take it nationwide yet.
A Man Manages to Mock the Cleveland Browns in His Obituary
Cleveland Browns fans are so pessimistic they’re even mocking the team from BEYOND THE GRAVE. A 55-year-old lifelong Browns fan from Ohio died on July 4th. And his obituary reads, quote, “He respectfully requests six Cleveland Browns pall bearers so the Browns can let him down one last time.”
Georgie Henley – 18 (Little Lucy Pevensie in the “Chronicles of Narnia” movies.)
Mitchel Musso – 22 (Drunk-driving actor who played Hannah’s dorky best friend Oliver on “Hannah Montana”.)
Kiely Williams – 27 (Dark-skinned Cheetah Girls minx who used to be in 3LW.)
Nyomi Marcela – 32 (Indonesian mattress actress who’s starred in 253 fine films, including “Pulp Friction”, “Kung Pao Kitty”, “Gobble The Goop 3″, “Yummy in my Tummy 2″, “Lez B Asians”, and “Black Beast in the Far East”.)
FRED SAVAGE! – 37 (Kevin Arnold on “The Wonder Years” . . . and THE MOLE in “Austin Powers in Goldmember”!)
Jack White – 38 (The White Stripes, The Raconteurs, The Dead Weather . . . and who knows how many other garage bands we haven’t heard of yet.)
Scott Grimes – 42 (Dr. Archie Morris on “ER”. He was also Brad in “Critters” and “Critters 2: The Main Course”!)
Courtney Love – 49 (Madonna put it best, quote, “I am fascinated by Courtney Love, but the same way I am fascinated by someone who’s got Tourette’s Syndrome walking in Central Park.”)
JIM KERR! – 54 (Simple Minds’ singer. Even though he specifically asked you not to forget about him back in 1985, you probably already have.)
Kevin Nash – 54 (Former WWF Intercontinental Champion, Tag Team Champion and World Champion . . . AND Super Shredder in the second “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” movie.)
Jeannie Pepper – 55 (Nubian mattress actress who has starred in 231 fine films, including . . . “Hill Street Blacks”, “Nubian Nurse Orgy”, “Sherlock Homie”, “White Trash Black Splash”, “Chocolate Fudge Factory” and “Black Holes In Space”!)
Kelly McGillis – 56 (DELICIOUS LESBIAN! Before coming out, she played Tom Cruise’s flight instructor in “Top Gun”, and the incredibly hot Amish mom that Harrison Ford nailed in “Witness”.)
TOM HANKS – 57
Jimmy Smits – 58 (6-foot-3 en fuego Latino with an Anglo name. Unlike many of his Chicano brethren, Jimmy made it out of the barrio. Not only did he graduate from Brooklyn College, he also got a Master’s Degree from Cornell University.)
JOHN TESH – 61 (Best contribution to society . . . the NBA on NBC theme song.)
O.J. Simpson – 66 (Football Hall-of-Famer (slash) lady killer (slash) convicted armed robber. Oprah has VOWED to get a confession out of him.)
Dean Koontz – 68 (Horror writer.)
RICHARD ROUNDTREE! – 71 (“SHAFT”!)
Brian Dennehy – 75 (Best known for his work in “Cocoon” . . . playing Chris Farley’s dad in “Tommy Boy” . . . being the sheriff who harassed Sylvester Stallone in “First Blood” . . . and for starring in the 1986 classic “F/X”.)
James Hampton – 77 (“Love, American Style” superstar who played Michael J. Fox’s dad in “Teen Wolf”, AND Trooper Hannibal Dobbs on “F Troop”.)
Bon Scott – (1946 – 1980) (He was AC/DC’s CHAUFFEUR, then became their lead screamer after Dave Evans refused to go on stage.)
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 9 days to San Diego’s Comic-Con
• 17 days until “The Wolverine”
• 52 days until Labor Day Weekend
• 72 days to Talk Like a Pirate Day
• 1,291 days left of “Hope and Change”
Back in the day….
218 years ago . . . in 1795 – One James Swan personally paid off the ENTIRE U.S. NATIONAL DEBT of $2,024,899.
144 years ago . . . in 1869 – The CORNCOB PIPE was invented. It was made from a special type of corn with smaller kernels on the cob. Presidents GERALD FORD and DWIGHT EISENHOWER smoked corncob pipes.
(ROBERT DOWNEY, JR. and former Washington, D.C., Mayor MARION BARRY may have smoked corncob CRACK pipes.) (???)
55 years ago . . . in 1958 – A Catholic magazine called “Contacts” launched a campaign for clean lyrics in pop music. One of the songs they wanted changed was ELVIS’ “Wear Your Ring Around My Neck” . . . because it promoted GOING STEADY.
36 years ago . . . in 1977 – A handsome yet frustrated computer operator named ELVIS COSTELLO quit his day job.
31 years ago . . . in 1982 – DISNEY’S “Tron” was released. It starred JEFF BRIDGES as a hacker sucked into the game and BRUCE BOXLEITNER as the electronic gladiator Tron.
30 years ago . . . in 1983 – “Every Breath You Take” by the POLICE hit #1 on the charts, where it stayed for the next nine weeks.
25 years ago . . . in 1988 – Delicious mini-chubby (slash) “Facts Of Life” superstar LISA WHELCHEL shattered my dreams and married one Steven Cauble. They broke it off last year.
21 years ago . . . in 1992 – BILL CLINTON named the very well-hung Senator AL GORE as his presidential running mate.
18 years ago . . . in 1995 – THE GRATEFUL DEAD put on their last show with JERRY GARCIA. He died of a heart attack a month later.
16 years ago . . . in 1997 – MIKE TYSON was banned from the boxing ring and fined $3 million for biting EVANDER HOLYFIELD’S ear.
14 years ago . . . in 1999 – “American Pie” achieved a “release”.
13 years ago . . . in 2000 – PETE SAMPRAS won his record SEVENTH Wimbledon Title and 13th Grand Slam title, which was also a record.
12 years ago . . . in 2001 – THE BACKSTREET BOYS choked back tears as they announced on MTV’s “Total Request Live” that A.J. MCLEAN had entered rehab for depression and alcohol abuse the day before.
12 years ago . . . in 2001 – The limousine carrying WU-TANG CLANSMAN KILLAH PRIEST was fired at during a drive-by shooting in Los Angeles, injuring three of his passengers and killing a fourth . . .
. . . mainly because the limo driver didn’t call 911 and GOT LOST LOOKING FOR THE EMERGENCY ENTRANCE at the UCLA Medical Center.
7 years ago . . . in 2006 – Comedy Central DEFIED DAVE CHAPPELLE’S wishes by giving us “Chappelle’s Show: The Lost Episodes” . . . even though milking those THREE EPISODES meant that Dave would never return to do another season. WEAK.
2 years ago . . . in 2011 – Derek Jeter became the 28th player in Major League Baseball history to join the 3,000 hit club.