Your daily dose of Whatever!
Anna Paquin Says Bisexuality and Monogamy Are Not Mutually Exclusive
ANNA PAQUIN would like you to know that you can be bisexual AND monogamous. Just like she is. She says, quote, “There’s people that are going to probably go to their grave thinking whatever they think about the LGBT community. That’s their problem, not mine. And there’s people that think that monogamy and bisexuality are mutually exclusive. Again, their problem not mine.”
Jessica Simpson is Done Having Kids
JESSICA SIMPSON is closing down the baby factory after pushing out just two products.
On Sunday, she Instagrammed a picture of herself holding a friend’s baby, and captioned it, quote, “I love you Jack, but I do not want another!!”
Jessica and her new husband ERIC JOHNSON already have a 2-year-old daughter named Maxwell and a year-old son named Ace.
Sexy Pictures of Famous People
1. Sexy Video: It’s been too long since we’ve seen TAYLOR LAUTNER with his shirt off. But you can correct that by watching the trailer for “Cuckoo”, a British TV series he’s joining for its current season.
2. DANITY KANE hit the red carpet at some Vegas party, and AUBREY O’DAY brought her cleavage.
3. When you hear the words “LAMAR ODOM” and “crack”, it’s usually not a good thing. But when you add the word BUTT, it’s not so bad.
4. LEAH REMINI took a hot bikini pic of her buddy JENNIFER LOPEZ.
5. LEA MICHELE has a little bit of a belly on her. I wonder when the pregnancy rumors are going to start?
6. ZAC EFRON was spotted leaving MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ’S house Sunday with an overnight bag and a skateboard.
7. I have a feeling that when SERENA WILLIAMS gets done wearing a bikini, there’s nothing left of it.
Robert Downey Jr. Is the Highest Paid Actor in Hollywood for the Second Straight Year
For the second straight year, ROBERT DOWNEY JR. tops Forbes.com’s annual list of “The Highest Paid Actors in Hollywood.” He reportedly raked in $75 million over the past 12 months. THE ROCK is second with an estimated take of $52 million.
Here’s the complete Top 10:
1. Robert Downey, Jr., $75 million
2. Dwayne Johnson, a.k.a. The Rock, $52 million
3. Bradley Cooper, $46 million
4. Leonardo DiCaprio, $29 million
5. Chris Hemsworth, $37 million
6. Liam Neeson, $36 million
7. A tie between Ben Affleck and Christian Bale, with $35 million apiece
9. A tie between Will Smith and Mark Wahlberg, with $32 million apiece
Philip Seymour Hoffman Didn’t Leave His Children Any Money, Because He Didn’t Want Them to Be “Trust Fund Kids”
Before PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN passed away earlier this year, his accountant suggested that he set aside some money for his three children. But he said no, because he didn’t want them to be, quote, “trust fund kids.” Instead, he left everything to the kids’ mother, his longtime girlfriend, Mimi.
Donald Trump Bragged About His Tweeting Abilities, and the Internet Let Him Have It
DONALD TRUMP Tweeted, quote, “Many people have said I’m the world’s greatest writer of 140 character sentences.” And the Internet LET HIM HAVE IT. The responses included, quote, “The voices in your head don’t count, Donald.” . . . “Those people are, of course, dead inside.” . . . and “Were you hacked?”
Kanye West Says He’s a Blowfish and Kim Kardashian is a Dinosaur . . . Or Something Like That
In a “GQ” interview, KANYE WEST referred to KIM KARDASHIAN as a “dinosaur” and a “fighter jet”, because she’s really cool and rare, or something like that. He also called himself a “blowfish” instead of a “shark”, because he’s not a predator, he just wants to defend himself and others.
Check Out Pictures of Kanye West Trying Out for Will Ferrell’s Movie “Semi Pro”
KANYE WEST had a cameo in “Anchorman 2″, but he actually tried to work with WILL FERRELL earlier than that. He tried out for the 2008 basketball comedy “Semi Pro”.
ANDRE BENJAMIN from OUTKAST ended up getting the part, because Kanye’s audition was reportedly pretty bad. Someone’s trying to sell video of it to various media outlets.
It hasn’t hit the web yet, but a couple of pictures have. Kanye showed up in a giant afro wig. (Check out the pics here.)
Do Kim and Kanye Spend $500,000 on a Decoy for Their Daughter?
KIM KARDASHIAN and KANYE WEST reportedly spend $500,000 on a decoy for their daughter North, so the real kid won’t get harassed by the paparazzi.
Sources say they held a casting call so they could find a baby who looks enough like North to throw off photographers. And they also have a look-alike nanny to pair up with her.
It’s not clear how much the nanny is getting paid, or how much work the baby has to do to earn that 500-grand. (Meanwhile, here’s the real deal hanging out with her mom and dad on the beach in Mexico.)
Tony Dungy Wouldn’t Have Taken Michael Sam in the Draft . . . and Actually, It’s Because of the Gay Thing
Former NFL coach TONY DUNGY said he wouldn’t have drafted MICHAEL SAM . . . and somewhat surprisingly, he admitted it’s NOT because of his skills on the field. It’s because he’s gay. He said, quote, “I wouldn’t want to deal with all of it. It’s not going to be totally smooth . . . things will happen.”
Tuesday TV Reminders:
• “America’s Got Talent” . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. The acts compete in New York City for Judgment Week.
• “Celebrity Wife Swap” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. The wives of soap opera stars Tyler Christopher and Ronn Moss trade places.
• The seventh season premiere of “Face Off” . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Syfy.
• “The Wil Wheaton Project” . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Syfy.
• “Drunk History” . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Comedy Central. Charlie Day, Adrianne Palicki, Jesse Plemons, and Jason Ritter are featured as Abraham Lincoln tries to stay alive on the way to his inauguration; Francis Scott Key writes “The Star-Spangled Banner”; and Edgar Allan Poe clashes with a rival poet.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon” – The Rock, Mel B, and Chronixx.
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” – Kate Hudson and David Remnick, author of “The Bridge: The Life and Rise of Barack Obama”.
• “Letterman” – Ricky Gervais, Taylor Schilling from “Orange is the New Black”, and Eli Young Band.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – John Stamos, comedian Todd Glass, and OK Go.
• “Carson Daly” – John Turturro, OFF!, and Midlake. (Repeat)
• “Conan” – Gary Oldman, Gabriel Iglesias, and the Hold Steady.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Irina Shayk (“Hercules”) and Dana Carvey.
• “Chelsea Lately” – Lela Loren from the Starz show “Power”.
• “Jon Stewart” – Director Richard Linklater (“Boyhood”).
• “The Colbert Report” – Anonymous artist and photographer JR. You can see his work at JR-art.net.
Johnny Depp’s “Transcendence” and Schwarzenegger’s “Sabotage” Are On DVD
Here’s what’s new on DVD today:
• “Transcendence“ . . . Johnny Depp dies and evolves into something dangerous after his wife uploads his consciousness into an advanced super computer Rebecca Hall plays his wife. Paul Bettany, Kate Mara and Morgan Freeman are also in it.
• “Heaven is for Real“ . . . Greg Kinnear and Kelly Reilly are the parents of a boy whose near death experience brings him back with memories of having been to Heaven and meeting dead loved ones like a grandfather he never met, and his unborn sister.
• “Sabotage“ . . . Arnold Schwarzenegger, “Avatar’s” Sam Worthington, Josh Holloway from “Lost”, Joe Manganiello from “True Blood”, and Terrence Howard are on a DEA task force being hunted after one of them steals $10 million from a drug bust.
• “Tyler Perry’s The Single Mom’s Club“ . . . Five women form a support group, where one of them watches all their kids so the other four can go out. The ladies include Nia Long, Amy Smart, and Wendi McLendon-Covey from “The Goldbergs”.
• The fifth season of “Hercules” and the fifth season of “Xena”.
Here’s what’s new in the past week to Netflix Instant Streaming:
• “McCanick“ stars Cory Monteith as a drug addict who gets out of prison and goes on the run from the cop who framed him for murder. David Morse is McCanick, the cop hunting him down.
• “Authors Anonymous“ stars Kaley Cuoco and Chris Klein as members of a group of unpublished writers who can’t cope with her unexpected overnight success.
• The third season of “Hell on Wheels” . . . the third season of “Continuum” hits Netflix on Saturday . . . and the fourth season of “Lost Girl” hits Netflix on Thursday.
New CDs from 5 Seconds to Summer, Yes, Common, and Rassler Chris Jericho
• “Lowborn“, Anberlin. This is the band’s final album.
• “Do You Wanna Start a War“, Fozzy . . . the rock band of rassler Chris Jericho.
• “5 Seconds of Summer“, 5 Seconds of Summer
• “Heaven & Earth“, Yes
• “Lead to Light“, the alt rock band Nico Vega
• “Trouble in Paradise“, British minx La Roux
• “In Technicolor“, Jesse McCartney
• “I Love You But I Must Drive Off This Cliff Now“, Got a Girl
This is a duo featuring “Sky High” actress Mary Elizabeth Winstead.
• “When I Was Younger“, the indie rock band Colony House
• “Nobody’s Smiling“, Common
• “Good Wine & Bad Decisions“, country minx Julie Roberts.
• “Do You Know Me? A Tribute To George Jones“, Sammy Kershaw.
It includes a duet with George’s daughter Georgette Jones on “Near You”.
Five Random Facts For Tuesday
1. There are only five cities in the world that span across two continents. The biggest one is Istanbul, Turkey . . . it’s about 65% in Europe and 35% in Asia.
2. There’s an urban legend that you swallow eight spiders a year while you sleep, but it’s not true . . . almost every single person will swallow ZERO in their lifetime. It was made up by a writer making FUN of stupid urban legends and gullible people.
3. Nothing with less than 10% alcohol was considered an alcoholic beverage in Russia until 2011 . . . it was classified as regular food. That included almost all beers.
4. Ulf Ekberg is one of the original members of Ace of Base. He got his start in a neo-Nazi band called Commit Suicide.
5. There are at least 22 children in the U.S. whose parents named them ESPN.
Should We Have a Three-Day Work Week? The World’s Second-Richest Person Says Yes
CARLOS “SLIM” HELU is the second-richest person in the world . . . he’s a Mexican businessman worth $80.3 billion. And he says the future of work is a THREE-DAY work week with a four-day weekend. The catch is you’d work 11-hour days and only retire when you’re 70 or 75.
New Photo Trend Alert: ‘Fakecationing’ . . . Where You Take Fake Vacation Photos in Front of Pictures of Exotic Places
Here’s a new photo trend going around online. People are taking FAKE vacation photos in exotic places, and passing them off as real. The main technique is to put a picture of a vacation spot up on your TV or computer screen . . . then pose in front of it so it looks like you’re there.
Babies Are Photographed 780 Times Before Their First Birthday
A new survey found the average baby is photographed 780 TIMES before their first birthday . . . an average of about twice a day. And the five situations where we take too many photos are immediately after they’re born . . . the first time we’re in bed with them . . . the first time they smile . . . their first bath . . . and the first time they meet their grandparents.
Toyota Put a Microphone in Their New Minivan to Help You Yell at Your Kids
Toyota just announced a new option in their 2015 Sienna minivan. You can get an optional MICROPHONE in the driver’s seat that amplifies your voice through the speakers in the backseat . . . to make it easier to yell at your kids.
A Jail Goes Back to Black-and-White Striped Jumpsuits . . . Because “Orange Is the New Black” Made Orange Ones Cool
A county jail in Michigan is going back to those old-fashioned black-and-white striped jumpsuits . . . because “Orange Is the New Black” made the orange ones seem cool. The sheriff is afraid non-inmates are wearing orange jumpsuits now, so when inmates do work in public, it’s easier for them to blend in and escape.
A Bridesmaid Goes Into Labor Right Before Her Sister’s Wedding . . . But Still Walks Down the Aisle and Stays For Photos
A 29-year-old woman was a bridesmaid in her sister’s wedding in England a few weeks ago . . . and was nine months pregnant. She went into LABOR right before the wedding, but didn’t want to steal her sister’s thunder . . . so she just sucked it up, walked down the aisle, stayed through the ceremony, then posed for photos. After that, she finally went to the hospital and gave birth.
A Woman Ran Over Herself in a Parking Garage
A 54-year-old woman was in a parking garage in Massachusetts yesterday, and apparently she stepped out of her car while it was still in gear . . . it started rolling . . . and ran her over. She was hospitalized in critical but stable condition.
A Woman Got Revenge on a Neighbor Who Kept Stealing Her Sun Tea . . . By Peeing in It
A woman in Oregon has been brewing sun tea on a picnic table in her apartment complex for years, with no problems . . . until it was stolen TWICE in the past month. But she just got some sweet revenge. When it was stolen the second time, she posted a message for the thief saying she’d PEED in that batch to teach them a lesson.
Madison Pettis is 16. The little girl from Disney Channel’s “Cory in the House” who played The Rock’s adorable daughter in “The Game Plan”.
Selena Gomez is 22. Justin Bieber’s on-again, off-again piece.
Keegan Allen is 25. Toby on “Pretty Little Liars” . . . the guy who was forced to have sex with his stepsister Jenna.
Mattress actress Kinzie Kenner is 30. She’s starred in 149 fine films, including . . . “Lil Red Riding Slut”, “Lord of the Squirt” and “Asstravaganza 2″.
Clive Standen is 33. Ragnar’s brother Rollo on “Vikings”.
A.J. Cook is 36. Blonde minx from “Criminal Minds”.
Franka Potente is 40. German actress. She’s the minx Matt Damon nails in “The Bourne Identity” and “The Bourne Supremacy”.
Savage Garden stud Daniel Jones is 41.
Colin Ferguson is 42. Sheriff Jack Carter on the SyFy’s “Eureka“.
Rhys Ifans is 47. The Lizard in “The Amazing Spider-Man”, Mycroft on “Elementary”, and Luna Lovegood’s father in “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows”.
Tim Brown is 48. Retired Oakland Raiders wide receiver.
Shawn Michaels is 49. The Heartbreak Kid. Former WWF (slash) WWE superstar. He helped screw Bret Hart. But HIS “heart” now belongs to Jesus.
David Spade is 50. Minimal talent, nails hot chicks. My hero.
John Leguizamo is 50. Half-Puerto Rican funnyman.
Emily Saliers is 51. Indigo Girls.
Keith Sweat is 53.
Willem Dafoe is 59. The Green Goblin in “Spider-Man” and dope-smoking Sergeant Elias in “Platoon”.
Comedic Genius Albert Brooks is 67.
Don Henley is 67. The Eagles.
Danny Glover is 68. And he thought he was too old for this [s***] before.
Rick Davies from Supertramp is 70.
George Clinton of Parliament Funkadelic is 73.
Alex Trebek is 74. Smug heart attack survivor.
Terence Stamp is 76. Siegfried in the “Get Smart” movie. He was also General Zod in “Superman 2″ and Superman’s biological father, Jor-El, on “Smallville”.
BOB DOLE is 91. Aroused. He gets to nail luscious Liddy Dole ANYTIME HE WANTS TO
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 6 days to World Hepatitis Day
• 10 days to Guardians of the Galaxy
• 16 days to Chicago Boot Camp
• 38 days to Labor Day Weekend
• 48 days to International Literacy Day
• 913 days left of “Hope and Change”
218 years ago . . . In 1796, the beautiful city of Cleveland, Ohio, was founded by General Moses Clevealand. And yes, he did have that extra “a” in there. It’s not really clear why it was dropped for the spelling of the city.
121 years ago . . . In 1893, Katharine Lee Bates, a professor at Wellesley College, wrote the original version of her poem “America The Beautiful”. She was inspired by the view from Pike’s Peak in Colorado.
80 years ago . . . In 1934, bank robber John Dillinger was shot to death by federal agents outside Chicago’s Biograph Theater. Legend has it that Dillinger was packing 17 inches . . . FLACCID.
23 years ago . . . In 1991, Jeffrey Dahmer was arrested in Milwaukee. Police found 11 skulls and three headless torsos sealed in a vat . . . plus other delicious, hairless body parts in his apartment.
23 years ago . . . In 1991, Desiree Washington, a Miss Black America contestant, said she’d been raped by Mike Tyson in an Indianapolis hotel room. Tyson was convicted, and served three years in prison.
23 years ago . . . In 1991, Rob Lowe . . . who’s been known to go by the rule that “if there’s grass on the field, play ball” . . . was finally tamed by (married) one Sheryl Berkoff. Today’s their 23rd Anniversary.
(Or was he? TWO former nannies tried suing the Lowes for various offenses. Both claimed Rob desired to have naughty, extramarital relations with them.)
20 years ago . . . In 1994, O.J. Simpson pleaded “absolutely 100% not guilty” to double murder charges. Who knew back then that he was telling the truth? (???)
19 years ago . . . In 1995, Susan Smith was convicted in Union, South Carolina, of first-degree murder for drowning her two sons. She was later sentenced to life in prison. (She drove them into a lake . . . and tried to cover it up by saying her car and her kids were stolen by a BLACK MAN.)
11 years ago . . . In 2003, SADDAM HUSSEIN’S sons . . . QUSAY and International Playboy UDAY . . . were killed in a massive, SIX-HOUR U.S. military raid on a home in Iraq.
Six years ago . . . In 2008, ESTELLE GETTY died three days short of her 85th birthday. She played Bea Arthur’s mom on the show, but she was actually the youngest of all the “Golden Girls” stars, and the first to die.