Your daily dose of WHATEVER!
Justin Bieber’s Mom Can’t Keep Up With the Status of His Relationship With Selena Gomez
On “Fox and Friends” yesterday, JUSTIN BIEBER’S mom was asked if Justin is still with SELENA GOMEZ. She said, quote, “It depends what day it is. I can’t keep up.” Meanwhile, a new Selena song that leaked yesterday opens with a voicemail from a guy who sounds like Justin saying, quote, “I just want to call and tell you that I love you so, so, so, so much.”
Pics of the rich and famous…
ANGELINA JOLIE brought her new boobs with her on a film scouting trip to Hawaii. They’re nice and perky-looking. (TMZ)
If a shirtless RYAN SEACREST is your thing, we’ve got your hookup.(Daily Mail)
Nicki Minaj Won’t Work Out . . . Because She Loses Her Boobs
If you’ve ever wanted to know NICKI MINAJ’S workout routine, here it is: NOTHING.
She tells “Marie Claire” magazine, quote, “I don’t work out. I hate it. I don’t mean to sound super lazy. I tried it for a time. I lost my boobs.
Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth Got Together in Canada
Despite all the breakup rumors, MILEY CYRUS and LIAM HEMSWORTH were spotted together in Canada the other day. He’s there shooting a movie and she showed up for a visit.
Dustin Hoffman Says “Tootsie” Made Him Appreciate Unattractive Women
DUSTIN HOFFMAN says his 1982 film “Tootsie” was never a comedy for him, because he learned something very important from it about judging women by their looks. He actually teared up as he told the story, saying, quote, “There’s too many interesting women I have not had the experience to know in this life because I have been brainwashed.”
Elisabeth Hasselbeck Is Leaving “The View” and Heading to Fox News
ELISABETH HASSELBECK is officially out at “The View” . . . and her last day is TODAY. After nearly ten years, she’s heading to the Fox News morning show, “Fox & Friends”, where she’ll be replacing Gretchen Carlson, who’s getting her own daytime series. Rumor has it that BROOKE SHIELDS will be taking over for Elisabeth, although there’s no official word on that yet.
Wednesday TV Reminders:
• “Big Brother 15″ [Power of Veto competition] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.
• “MasterChef” . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. Eva Longoria chooses Mexican ingredients for the mystery-box challenge.
• “Family Tools” [Series Finale] . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC.
• “America’s Got Talent” [Auditions] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC.
• “The American Baking Competition” [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS.
• “Royal Pains”. . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on USA. “Community’s” Danny Pudi guest stars as a radio shock jock.
• “Most Likely To…” [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ID.
• “Camp” [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. Rachel Griffiths from “Brothers & Sisters” plays a woman scrambling to keep her cash-strapped summer camp afloat while also adjusting to life as a newly divorced single parent.
• “The Bridge” [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:30 P.M. on FX. Diane Kruger plays an El Paso detective who teams up with her Mexican counterpart to hunt a serial killer working both sides of the border.
• “Crown Chasers” [Special Presentation] . . . 10:00 to 11:30 P.M. on TLC. The world of Mrs. Pageants is profiled through the eyes of five Denver women who juggle families, careers and pageant politics in the battle to win a crown.
• “The Real World/Road Rules Challenge” [24th Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on MTV.
• “R&B Divas: LA” [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TV One. Kelly Price, Chanté Moore, Lil Mo, Claudette Ortiz, Michel’le and Dawn Robinson are seeking to re-establish themselves, their careers and their lives.
• “Watch What Happens: Live” . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Bravo. The mothers of Kim Kardashian and Justin Bieber . . . Kris Jenner and Pattie Mallette . . . guest.
Early Morning Show Guests:
• “The Today Show” – Ken Jeong (“Turbo” and “Despicable Me 2″), Daisy Fuentes (“La Voz Kids”), authors Jenni Schaefer and Jennifer Thomas (“Almost Anorexic: Is My (or My Loved One’s) Relationship with Food a Problem? (The Almost Effect)”).
• “Good Morning America” – No guests listed yet. Check your local listings.
• “CBS This Morning” – No guests listed yet. Check your local listings.
Mid-Morning Show Guests:
• “Live! With Kelly and Michael” – Adam Sandler (“Grown Ups 2″) and Beth Stern. Music Guest: Ciara.
• “The View” – Pattie Mallette pimps her book “Nowhere but Up, Teen Edition: The Story of Justin Bieber’s Mom”. Debbie Matenopoulos co-hosts.
• “Rachael Ray” – Salma Hayek (“Grown Ups 2″) and chef Richard Blais. (REPEAT)
This Afternoon On TV:
• “Ellen DeGeneres” – Russell Brand and chef Wolfgang Puck. (REPEAT)
• “The Talk” – Smokey Robinson (Broadway’s “Motown: The Musical”), Arianna Huffington, and chef Nadia G. (“Bitchin’ Kitchen”). Music Guest: Human Nature. Regis Philbin co-hosts.
• “Katie Couric” – “Glee’s” Jane Lynch (Broadway’s “Annie”), plus Susan Lucci, Dania Ramirez, Judy Reyes and Grant Show pimp Lifetime’s “Devious Maids”.
• “Steve Harvey” – Dr. Wendy Walsh (author of “The 30-Day Love Detox”), plus tips on how to protect your kids when you’re going through a divorce. (REPEAT)
• “Dr. Phil” – “Was Morgan Murdered by Stalkers?” The parents of a young woman whose death was ruled a suicide but they believe she was murdered. (REPEAT)
• “Dr. Oz Show” – “Secrets the Fast Food Industry Doesn’t Want You to Know!” (REPEAT)
• “Wendy Williams” – Celebrity make-up artist Mally Roncal.
• “Anderson Live” – Jane Seymour (for The Open Heart Foundation) (REPEAT)
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “Letterman” – Salma Hayek (“Grown Ups 2″) and Tony Hale (“The Heat” and “Arrested Development”). Music Guest: Houndmouth.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Annette Bening (“Girls Most Likely”) and Michael B. Jordan (“Fruitvale Station”). Music Guest: Karmin.
• “The Tonight Show” – John Malkovich (“Red 2″) and Olivia Munn (“New Girl” and “The Newsroom”). Music Guest: Blackberry Smoke.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Jess Weixler (“The Good Wife”) and Cedric the Entertainer (“The Soul Man”).
• “Jimmy Fallon” – Adam Sandler (“Grown Ups 2″) and Mireille Enos (“The Killing”). Music Guest: Eleanor Friedberger.
• “Carson Daly” – Zach Braff and author Neil Gaiman (“Make Good Art”). Music Guest: METZ. (REPEAT)
• “Conan” – Kevin Bacon (“R.I.P.D.”) and “Sons of Anarchy’s” Charlie Hunnam (“Pacific Rim”). Music Guest: Bernhoft.
• “Jon Stewart” – Pre-empted.
• “The Colbert Report” – Pre-empted.
• “Chelsea Lately” – Channing Tatum (“White House Down”). (REPEAT)
The Four Things We Want to See Disappear From Our Newsfeed
According to a new survey, these are the four things we want to get rid of from our social network newsfeeds: Celebrity updates . . . petitions . . . selfies . . . and pictures of FOOD. Also, WOMEN are more likely than men to track down someone from their past using social networks. 55% of women have done it, compared to 42% of men.
The Most Stolen Vehicles Include a Lot of Trucks . . . and the Least Stolen Vehicles Feature a Lot of Cars No One Likes
The Highway Data Loss Institute just released their list of the most and least stolen vehicles in the U.S. over the past three years. The most stolen vehicles are all trucks or big SUVs . . . which have the most valuable parts after they’re chopped. The least stolen vehicles are mostly family cars or cars that don’t sell particularly well.
A Woman Eating at a Fancy Restaurant in New York City Decides to Go Topless During Dinner . . . and There’s a Photo
On Monday night, a couple was eating at a fancy Italian restaurant in Manhattan when the woman just decided to WHIP OFF HER SHIRT and sit there TOPLESS. It’s actually legal for women to be topless in public in New York City . . . but NOT inside a restaurant where it violates that “no shirt, no shoes” health code. The manager escorted the couple out, but no charges will be filed.
A Woman Calls in to Jury Duty and Says She’s Too Drunk to Show Up . . . and Somehow Gets Away With It
I can’t BELIEVE this worked. Last week, a 35-year-old woman in Scotland called in to jury duty to say she couldn’t come in . . . because she was TOO DRUNK. And somehow, the judge let her get away with it and DIDN’T hold her in contempt . . . after she told him she was drinking because she’d just broken up with her boyfriend.
A Woman Who Was Pronounced Dead Woke Up On the Operating Table . . . Just as Doctors Were About to Remove Her Organs
This happened four years ago, but the story just surfaced now. In October of 2009, a 41-year-old woman in New York overdosed on painkillers and muscle relaxants. Doctors declared she had irreversible brain damage, so her family pulled the plug. And just as doctors were about to remove her organs . . . she WOKE UP on the operating table. The hospital was fined but her family decided not to sue.
President Obama Says His Favorite Food is Broccoli
PRESIDENT OBAMA made an appearance at a healthy kids’ lunch event in Washington D.C. yesterday, and one kid asked him to name his favorite food. And the President went with . . . BROCCOLI. Which just can’t be true.
One in Four People Paid a Bribe in the Last Year
According to a new report, one in four people worldwide paid a bribe in the last year. The most common reason was to speed things up. People also pay bribes to express gratitude or to get a cheaper price. Liberia and Sierra Leone are the most corrupt countries . . . with 75% of people paying bribes. Australia, Denmark, Finland, and Japan are the least corrupt . . . with less than 1%.
RONNIE JAMES DIO! – Would have been 71 (1942 – 2010) (Brilliant lead singer of RAINBOW, BLACK SABBATH [FROM ’79 TO ’82], DIO . . . and, finally, HEAVEN AND HELL . . . which was just his version of Black Sabbath with a new name.)
Jessica Simpson – 33 (Mega-pregnant mom who’s probably STILL sexual napalm.)
Thomas Ian Nicholas – 33 (He was Kevin in “American Pie” . . . the one who got all up in Tara Reid’s gushy parts. He’s also the 13-year-old kid whose broken arm got him a spot as a pitcher for the Chicago Cubs in “Rookie of the Year”.)
ADRIAN GRENIER – 37 (Mantastic Vincent “Vinny” Chase on “Entourage”.)
Elijah Blue Allman – 37 (Son of Cher and Gregg Allman. For a while he was in a neo-goth band Deadsy and calling himself P. Exeter Blue. Now he’s some kind of “contemporary artist” living in Germany.)
Sofia Vergara – 41 (Colombian supermodel who stars on one of the best comedies on TV, “Modern Family”.) RELATED COMEDY: Today is Sofia Vergara’s birthday. She’s now 41 . . . Double D.
Gary LeVox – 43 (Rascal Flatts singer. He’s also a close friend to Jamie Foxx.)
Cindy Sheehan – 56 (George W. Bush’s favorite anti-war activist. How come we never hear about her anymore now that there’s a Democrat in office? We’re still at war. In fact, we’ve added ANOTHER war. So where is she? Just asking.)
Neil Tennant – 59 (Singer for the Pet Shop Boys.)
Arlo Guthrie – 66 (The superstar behind the 18-minute, 20-second masterpiece “Alice’s Restaurant”.)
RON GLASS! – 68 (DETECTIVE RON HARRIS ON “BARNEY MILLER”!)
Robert Pine – 72 (Ponch and John’s boss, Sergeant Joseph Getraer on “CHiPs”.)
Jake LaMotta – 92 (Boxing legend played by Robert De Niro in “Raging Bull”. LaMotta was the World Middleweight Champion from 1949 to 1951.)
David Brinkley – Would have been 93 – (1920 – 2003) (VERY sexy former NBC and ABC News correspondent.)
Arthur Ashe – (1943 – 1993) (The first African-American inducted into the International Tennis Hall of Fame. He died of AIDS . . . but got it through a blood transfusion, not from copious amounts of macho, unprotected sex.)
Adolphus Busch – (1839 – 1913) (Brewer of Anheuser-Busch addicting beverages.)
Don Herbert – (1917 – 2007) (Mr. Wizard)
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 8 days to San Diego’s Comic-Con
• 16 days until “The Wolverine”
• 51 days until Labor Day Weekend
• 71 days to Talk Like a Pirate Day
• 1,290 days left of “Hope and Change”
Back in the day…
88 years ago . . . in 1925 – The “SCOPES MONKEY TRIAL” got under way in Dayton, Tennessee. John Scopes was eventually found GUILTY OF TEACHING EVOLUTION at a public school and fined $100.
49 years ago . . . in 1964 – THE BEATLES released their album “A Hard Day’s Night”.
48 years ago . . . in 1965 – SONNY & CHER had a #1 hit with “I Got You, Babe”. Then Sonny skied into a tree and died.
38 years ago . . . in 1975 – CHER filed for divorce from GREGG ALLMAN, just NINE DAYS after they had married. Their son, ELIJAH BLUE ALLMAN, was born EXACTLY one year later . . . because, yes, Cher let Gregg Allman enter her AFTER they broke up.
34 years ago . . . in 1979 – CHUCK BERRY was sentenced to four months in prison for tax evasion. He underpaid $200,000 on his 1973 tax return.
28 years ago . . . in 1985 – COCA-COLA said it would keep selling the awful “NEW COKE”, but also resume selling the much tastier COKE CLASSIC. This was such a big deal that the TV networks actually interrupted afternoon soaps to give the public the important news.
24 years ago . . . in 1989 – THE GREAT MEL BLANC, the “Man of a Thousand Voices”, died in Los Angeles at age 81.
22 years ago . . . in 1991 – BORIS YELTSIN took the oath of office as the first elected president of Russia.
22 years ago . . . in 1991 – PRESIDENT BUSH (The First) announced he was appointing super-sexy ALAN GREENSPAN to a second term as Federal Reserve chairman.
21 years ago . . . in 1992 – CAPTAIN JOSEPH HAZELWOOD was cleared of criminal responsibility for environmental damage caused by the “EXXON VALDEZ” oil spill. (???)
14 years ago . . . in 1999 – Shy and quiet ROSIE PEREZ married some clown named Seth Zvi Rosenfeld. Now they’re separated.
14 years ago . . . in 1999 – The U.S. WOMEN’S SOCCER TEAM won the World Cup, beating China on penalty kicks at the Rose Bowl. To celebrate the victory, BRANDI CHASTAIN took off her sweaty jersey to expose her very sweaty Nike sports bra.
13 years ago . . . in 2000 – The Louisiana Supreme Court upheld a 195-year-old law that makes ORAL AND ANU SEX ILLEGAL for both straights and gays.
13 years ago . . . in 2000 – The weak-sauce SUPREMES “reunion” tour was canceled because they couldn’t find enough suckers to buy tickets for a “reunion” that featured DIANA ROSS but NOT original Supremes MARY WILSON and CINDY BIRDSONG.
12 years ago . . . in 2001 – HARRISON FORD swooped down in his private helicopter to rescue a 13-year-old Utah Boy Scout by the name of Cody Clawson who was lost in Yellowstone National Park.