Your daily dose of Whatever!!
Is Adam Levine Apologizing to Ex-Girlfriends Before He Gets Married?
ADAM LEVINE is marrying model BEHATI PRINSLOO next month, and he wants to do it with a clean slate. According to “Us Weekly”, he’s been contacting ex-girlfriends to make amends.
A source says, quote, “He apologized for how he treated them.”
Is Lea Michele Dating a Male Prostitute?
LEA MICHELE’S supposed new boyfriend MATTHEW PAETZ is a MALE PROSTITUTE. Or at least he was. Until recently, Matthew worked for the legal escort service Cowboys 4 Angels. Some of their man-whores are featured on the Showtime series “Gigolos”. Matthew has been on “hiatus” from the agency since he hooked up with Lea.
Lily Tomlin Says Beyoncé Is “Selling a Lot of Sex to Teeny-Boppers”
74-year-old LILY TOMLIN doesn’t seem all that impressed with the image BEYONCÉ is presenting to young girls. She says, quote, “She’s selling a lot of sex to teeny-boppers . . . She’s fantastically beautiful and [she] dances, but it’s very suggestive. If I was a 10-year-old, I would try to emulate her.”
That being said, it isn’t personal. Lily added that she “likes” Beyoncé . . . and that she doesn’t really have an informed opinion, because she doesn’t follow Beyoncé’s career closely.
Sexy Pictures of Famous People
1. (NC-17) Someone posted NUDE photos of boxer ROY JONES JR. online. It might have something to do with a female boxer he was allegedly nailing on the side, who got mad at him and started dissing him on Instagram. (WARNING!!! That link takes you to a fully nude pic of Roy.)
2. V. STIVIANO tried to get into the Maxim Hot 100 party. She was denied. Bonus: She had leopard makeup on her face.
4. Here’s PINK, naked on a magazine cover.
6. IRELAND BALDWIN in a bikini is always worth a look.
The Greatest Hollywood Friendships
2. Jennifer Aniston and Chelsea Handler: Chelsea has even publicly assaulted Angelina Jolie, calling her a “demon”, a “homewrecker”, and worse.
3. Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore: They starred together in the “Charlie’s Angels” movies, and when Drew recently gave birth to her second daughter, Cameron said on the “Tonight Show”, quote, “We have a baby girl!”
4. Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy: Interestingly, they play the YOUNGER versions of Magneto and Professor X in the “X-Men” movies. McAvoy says, quote, “It’s not a contrivance at all. I love the guy.”
5. Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire: They bonded as child actors, and they’re still friends as they creep up on 40.
6. Ben Affleck and Matt Damon: They both grew up in Boston, and were friends since the age of EIGHT. They went on to share a screenwriting Oscar for “Good Will Hunting”.
7. Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz: They’ve done one movie together, the Mexican comedy “Bandidas”. They also call each other “huevos”, which is the Spanish word for EGGS . . . and Cruz says they’ve slept in a bed together, quote, “many times.” (Think I’d get anywhere asking for pictures?)
8. Beyoncé and Gwyneth Paltrow: This may have come from their husbands Jay Z and Chris Martin working together. Beyoncé recently said, quote, “She’s a great friend on every level.” They’re even supposedly going on a four-day yoga retreat together.
9. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler: Their friendship pre-dates “Saturday Night Live”. They met in an improv class in Chicago in 1991.
10. Kristin Wiig and Maya Rudolph: Another classic “SNL” duo who went on to work together in “Bridesmaids” . . . (CAREFUL) . . . where they argued quite memorably about ANAL BLEACHING.
Casey Kasem is in Hospice and Life Support Measures Have Been Stopped . . . But at Least He’s Listening to “American Top 40″
Life support measures for CASEY KASEM were stopped yesterday, after a judge ruled they were probably causing Casey more pain than they were worth. Casey is currently in hospice, listening to old recordings of “American Top 40″. Meanwhile, Casey’s wife JEAN says the judge, and Casey’s kids who fought for this, have his BLOOD on their hands.
Casey’s kids say he left the following health directive . . . quote, “If the extension of my life would result in mere biological existence, devoid of cognitive function, with no reasonable hope for normal functioning, then I do not desire any form of life-sustaining procedures, including nutrition and hydration.”
Not surprisingly, Casey’s wife JEAN is NOT happy with this. She came out of court saying Kerri, the judge and others now have Casey’s BLOOD ON THEIR HANDS. (Here’s video.)
Keira Knightley Is Worth $50 Million . . . But She Only Gives Herself $50,000 to Spend Every Year?
KEIRA KNIGHTLEY is worth an estimated $50 MILLION . . . but she claims she makes herself stick to a tight annual budget of $50,000. And there’s a reason for that.
She tells “Glamour” magazine, quote, “I think living an expensive lifestyle means you can’t hang out with people who don’t live that lifestyle. It alienates you. Some of my best, most hilarious times have been in the least luxurious places.”
Trailer-Rama: “The Penguins of Madagascar”, “Sin City: A Dame to Kill For” and More
1. Here’s a trailer for “The Penguins of Madagascar” . . . a spin-off of the “Madagascar” movies that’s all about the penguins. Obviously. The movie comes out in November.
2. Check out a full trailer for “Sin City: A Dame to Kill For”, which comes out in August. You’ll notice that Dennis Haysbert, from “Major League”, “24” and those Allstate commercials, is playing Manute this time. The character was played by the late Michael Clarke Duncan in the original.
3. JAMES FRANCO and SETH ROGEN attempt to assassinate North Korean leader KIM JONG-UN in “The Interview“, which is hitting theaters in October.
4. There’s a new sci-fi / horror flick called “Harbinger Down“ that looks like PURE AWESOMENESS. The filmmakers wanted to do a crazy, effects-heavy monster movie with old-school special effects and NO COMPUTER ANIMATION.
It looks a lot like John Carpenter’s 1982 classic, “The Thing”, and that’s intentional. There’s no release date yet. Hopefully this won’t go straight to video, because it’s definitely the kind of movie that needs to be seen on the big screen.
Netflix Is Developing an Updated Version of “The Magic School Bus”
First, “Reading Rainbow” is being reborn, and now this: Netflix and Scholastic Media are teaming up to do an updated version of the ’90s kids’ show “The Magic School Bus”, which originally ran on PBS from 1994 to 1997.
It’s called “The Magic School Bus 360 Degrees”, and it will be computer animated, rather than an old-school cartoon. They’re going to make 26 half-hour episodes to start with . . . but those won’t actually hit Netflix until sometime in 2016.
The new version will include a modernized teacher, an updated bus, and newer scientific tools, such as robots. For now, there’s no indication that LILY TOMLIN will be back. She voiced the teacher, Ms. Frizzle, in the original.
Paula Deen Is Getting Her Own Network . . . Online
Everyone’s favorite racist cook PAULA DEEN is getting her own network . . . ONLINE, where she’ll be able to continue sharing her terribly unhealthy recipes.
There aren’t too many details yet . . . although we do know that it’s expected to launch in September, and that it will NOT be free. There’s no word how much a subscription will cost.
The digital platform will include her hosting at least one live show . . . plus other shows on topics like: “20-minute meals,” “cooking light,” and “Southern lifestyle segments,” whatever that is. (Here’s an annoying trailer for the network.)
Thursday TV Reminders:
• “Hollywood Game Night” . . . from 8:00 to 8:00 P.M. on NBC. Tiffani Thiessen, Jeff Probst, Leslie Bibb, Poppy Montgomery, David Alan Grier and Tim Gunn are this week’s celebrities.
• Game 4 of the “NBA Finals” . . . from 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon” – Chris Rock and Kacey Musgraves.
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” – Gerard Butler, Tony Shalhoub, and Myq Kaplan.
• “Letterman” – Paul Morrissey and the band First Aid Kit.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Robert Pattinson, Pablo Schreiber, and Nico & Vinz.
• “Carson Daly” – Neil deGrasse Tyson, LP, and Chris Burkard. (Repeat)
• “Conan” – Eric McCormack, and Michael Lewis.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Miranda Lambert, and comedian Greg Proops.
• “Chelsea Lately” – Rob Riggle.
• “Jon Stewart” – Christopher Walken.
• “The Colbert Report” – James Webb.
Five Random Facts For Thursday
1. There’s no correlation between foot size and junk size. It’s just a myth.
2. There’s one millionaire for every 16 households in the U.S. . . . which means there’s an average of one millionaire on every block.
3. In “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”, Ferris’ actual day off was June 5th, 1985 . . . based on what happened in the Cubs-Braves game they went to.
4. Using a highlighter doesn’t help you remember anything you read.
5. On hospital TV shows like “Grey’s Anatomy”, CPR saves people’s lives about 55% of the time. In real life, it only saves people’s lives about 12% of the time.
We Rely on Our Dads to Fix Stuff Until We’re 41 . . . Here Are the 10 Things We Make Them Do
You probably STILL rely on your dad when something breaks around the house . . . the average person relies on their dad for help until age 41. The top things we go to our dads for are: Fixing the heat, fixing the toilet, fixing a leaky pipe, and building a wall.
Being Hungry Transforms Men Into Chubby Chasers
A new study from the University of Westminster in England found that when men are HUNGRY, it transforms them into CHUBBY CHASERS. There’s a pretty clear evolutionary connection here . . . we’re wired to think that chubbier people have more access to food, so when we’re hungry, we gravitate to them.
Women Waste $176,000 in Their Lifetime on Dieting
A new study just found the average woman who diets spends more than $176,000 on dieting in their lifetime . . . and almost all of it goes to waste since diets almost never stick. That breaks down to about $50-a-week on special foods, exercise classes and gym membership, diet program fees, and supplements.
The Top Ten Things Women Regret About Their Wedding
In a new survey, 82% of married women said they wish they could go back and change at least one thing about their wedding. Number one was the best man’s toast. Followed by hair and make-up . . . the amount of money they spent, because they wish they’d spent MORE . . . the weather . . . and their wedding dress.
A 29-Year-Old Woman With 10,000 Hello Kitty Items Somehow Can’t Get a Boyfriend
There’s a 29-year-old woman in England with a GIANT Hello Kitty collection . . . 10,000 items that she’s spent $84,000 on. And believe it or not, she’s single. She says, quote, “If a man doesn’t like my Kitty kingdom and can’t accept me for who I am, then I’m not interested in them.”
A Naked Guy Painting His Wall Slips . . . and Gets His Junk Stuck in a Pipe For Two Days
A 61-year-old guy in China was painting in his house, and it was hot . . . so he was painting NAKED. He says he slipped and fell, and his JUNK got trapped in a pipe. He waited two days before he went to the hospital, where doctors had firefighters cut the pipe off.
A Woman Catfishes Her Niece . . . and Finds the Niece Wants Her Killed
A woman in Alabama made a fake profile as a random guy on Facebook to monitor her 19-year-old niece . . . and the niece tried to hire the fake guy to KILL HER. She went to the police, who arrested the niece for solicitation of murder.
Kendra Wilkinson is 29. Started out as one of Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends on “The Girls Next Door”. Now she’s got her own reality show, her own husband . . . and her very own SEX TAPE.
DAVE FRANCO! is 29. The younger, more talented brother of James Franco who got to deliver this line in the “21 Jump Street” movie: “You know what they do to a handsome guy like me in prison. It Rhymes with GRAPE. It Rhymes with grape.”
Adriana Lima is 33. Brazilian Victoria’s Secret model. She married Marko Jaric, a third-string NBA player, in 2009. She allegedly SAVED HERSELF for marriage and gave that gift to Marco on their wedding night. They separated earlier this year.
Kenny Wayne Shepherd is 37. Hairless white blues guitar prodigy. Mel Gibson is his father-in-law, but that doesn’t necessarily mean Kenny’s a bad person. Kenny married Mel’s daughter, Hannah, in September of 2006.
Jason Mewes is 40. Jay from the Jay and Silent Bob duo that appears in almost all of Kevin Smith’s movies. He loved the smack, but Kevin Smith straightened him out. Sort of.
Jenilee Harrison is 56. The dumb blonde roommate, Cindy, on “Three’s Company”. She stepped in after Suzanne Somers was fired. After one season, Jenilee was demoted when a SMART blonde roommate moved in.
Scott Thompson is 55. “Kids in the Hall”. He’s also Hank’s wonderfully gay assistant Brian on “The Larry Sanders Show”. You may think he’s not REALLY that gay, just Canadian . . . but no, in real life, he IS that gay.
Meredith Brooks is 56. Biggest hit: “(Rhymes with ‘witch’)”.
Timothy Busfield is 57. Redheaded Elliot on “thirtysomething” AND Poindexter in “Revenge of the Nerds”. He was also Danny on “The West Wing”. He was recently accused of sexually assaulting a woman during a date at a movie theater. But “Little House in the Prairie” star Melissa Gilbert married him.
Bun E. Carlos is 63. Cheap Trick’s chubby, glasses-wearing, goateed drummer.
Marv Albert is 73. Legendary sportscaster who was all about BITING THE LADIES long before this whole modern vampire fad got started.
JIM NABORS is 84. GOMER PYLE! He was rumored to have secretly gay married ROCK HUDSON in 1971. They both said it wasn’t true . . . and the reason Jim Nabors never had time for women is because he was “married to his career.”
Last year, Jim officially CAME OUT . . . and married a guy he’d been with for 38 years . . . or, since around 1975.
George Bush The Elder is 90.
Brad Delp (1951 – 2007) Boston’s lead singer . . . with a HUGE white-boy fro. Tragically, he took his own life back in March of 2007.
Anne Frank should have been 85. (1929 – 1945) Jewish teenager who hid from the Nazis in a secret attic and kept a diary about her experience. She and her family were eventually discovered and murdered by the Nazis. Justin Bieber thinks she would’ve been a big fan of his.
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 2 days to World Blood Donor Day
• 3 days to Father’s Day
• 22 days to Independence Day
• 50 days to Guardians of the Galaxy
• 56 days to Chicago Boot Camp
• 953 days left of “Hope and Change”
75 years ago . . . In 1939, the BASEBALL HALL OF FAME opened in Cooperstown, New York, where, legend has it, baseball had been invented by Abner Doubleday exactly 100 years earlier. The first players inducted included BABE RUTH, TY COBB and HONUS WAGNER.
51 years ago . . . In 1963, “Cleopatra”, starring ELIZABETH TAYLOR and RICHARD BURTON, premiered in New York. It was one of Hollywood’s most expensive productions, costing $44 million . . . which is estimated to be about $400 MILLION in today’s dollars.
47 years ago . . . In 1967, TABOO INTERRACIAL MARRIAGE BECAME LEGAL!!! . . . after the deliciously kinky members of the Supreme Court struck down state laws barring it.
46 years ago . . . In 1968, pedophile ROMAN POLANSKI released the horror classic “Rosemary’s Baby” . . . starring MIA FARROW as a woman impregnated by Satan. (Hopefully, you did NOT watch NBC’s recent miniseries remake, because it was a TRAVESTY!)
36 years ago . . . In 1978, serial killer DAVID BERKOWITZ was sentenced to 25 years to life for the six “SON OF SAM” murders in New York.
23 years ago . . . In 1991, Michael Jordan’s CHICAGO BULLS won their first NBA Championship, beating the LOS ANGELES LAKERS four games to one.
20 years ago . . . In 1994, O.J. SIMPSON KILLED TWO PEOPLE. Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman were slashed to death outside her Los Angeles condo.
O.J. Simpson would later be acquitted of the killings in a criminal trial. Sadly, he can no longer search for the REAL KILLERS, because he’s behind bars in Las Vegas for ARMED ROBBERY and KIDNAPPING.
17 years ago . . . In 1997, INTER-LEAGUE PLAY in Major League Baseball began, ending a 126-year tradition of keeping the American League and National League separate until the World Series.
17 years ago . . . In 1997, SNOOP DOGG married his baby-mama Shantay Taylor. Today is their 16th Anniversary . . . but with a four-year divorce in the middle.
15 years ago . . . In 1999, for some reason, COURTENEY COX married clown-ass DAVID ARQUETTE. They separated in 2010.
11 years ago . . . In 2003, GREGORY PECK died in his sleep of cardiorespiratory arrest and pneumonia. He was 87 years old.