Your daily dose of Whatever!!
Jessica Alba Won’t Do a Nude Scene Because of Her Grandparents
Don’t blame JESSICA ALBA for not showing us her glorious cans on the big screen. Blame her ABUELO and ABUELA.
In the June issue of “Glamour” magazine, Jessica explains why she won’t do nude scenes . . . quote, “I don’t want my grandparents to see my boobs. That’s it.
“It would be weird at Christmas. And, I mean, really, if you look at the movies I have done, getting naked would never ‘elevate’ the picture.”
Roger Federer and His Wife Now Have Two Sets of Twins
The wife of tennis stud ROGER FEDERER gave birth to twin boys yesterday. They named them Leo and Lenny.
They now have four kids . . . because in July of 2009, they have TWIN GIRLS, whom they named Myla and Charlene.
Monica Lewinsky Says Her Affair with Bill Clinton Was “Consensual”, and Corrects a Beyoncé Lyric About the Infamous Blue Dress
MONICA LEWINSKY wrote a piece for “Vanity Fair”, where she talked about her affair with BILL CLINTON. In it, she says he “took advantage” of her, but adds that their relationship was “consensual.” Monica also corrects a BEYONCÉ lyric about the infamous blue dress. She says, quote, “If we’re verbing, I think [she] meant ‘Bill Clinton’d all on my gown,’ not ‘Monica Lewinsky’d.'”
Sexy Pictures of Famous People
1. ALEC BALDWIN might want to stop throwing around gay slurs. Because his daughter IRELAND Tweeted a picture of herself kissing female musician ANGEL HAZE.
2. JUSTIN BIEBER has a new woman in his life. She’s a model named Yovanna Ventura, and a source says HE pursued HER. I guess it worked.
3. Speaking of Justin . . . here’s a helpful map of all his tattoos . . . along with closeup photos and explanations.
4. At the Met Gala, even the view under the stalls in the women’s room is glamorous. (No, we don’t know who any of these ladies are. It’s just a funny pic.)
5. (NC-17) Sexy Video: MILEY CYRUS “accidentally” flashed part of her left nipple in an Instagram video.
6. V. STIVIANO celebrated Cinco de Mayo by riding a mechanical bull . . . with her stupid visor on.
7. Despite the SAD KANYE meme that’s sweeping the Internet, it turns out he really did enjoy zip-lining.
Jon Hamm and Paul Rudd Once Tried to Outdo Each Other at Trivial Pursuit to Impress a Girl
Back when they were young and not famous, JON HAMM and PAUL RUDD competed for the attention of a girl over a game of Trivial Pursuit. Rudd ultimately fell to Jon’s smarts. He says, quote, “I felt so emasculated in the game that, as a result, I started reading atlases.” The woman in question was SARAH CLARKE, who went on to appear on “24” and in the “Twilight” movies.
A Picture of Willow Smith on a Bed With a Shirtless 20-Year-Old Guy Made the Internet Explode Yesterday
The Internet exploded yesterday, thanks to a picture of 13-year-old WILLOW SMITH on a bed with a shirtless MOISES ARIAS. He played Rico on “Hannah Montana”, and he’s 20 years old. Moises had posted the picture on Instagram, but eventually took it down.
Is V. Stiviano Under Investigation for Trying to Extort Donald Sterling?
TMZ says that V. STIVIANO is now under investigation for allegedly trying to extort Clippers owner DONALD STERLING over even MORE audio tape.
After the initial audio of Sterling’s RACIST MUSINGS hit the Internet, Stiviano’s people said that Sterling called her and asked, quote, “How can we make this go away?”
Well, sources say it was actually Stiviano who initiated that conversation, telling Sterling she had more recordings he might want to pay her to keep under wraps.
(On a related note, former L.A. Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda says he’s been friends with Donald Sterling for 30 years, and isn’t surprised by what he said. But he also hopes Stiviano gets HIT BY A CAR. Here’s video.)
Does Leonardo DiCaprio Own a $10 Million Apartment With Vitamin C-Infused Showers?
LEONARDO DICAPRIO just bought a $10 million “green” apartment with the following amenities: Vitamin C-infused showers, purified air and water, a circulated aromatherapy air supply, posture-supportive heat reflexology flooring and a circadian lighting design that provides “dawn simulation.” He also gets his own “wellness concierge.”
A San Francisco Giants Pitcher Injured Himself While Trying to Cut His Sandwich Into “Fancy Triangles
San Francisco Giants pitcher MATT CAIN has been put on the Disabled List . . . after injuring himself while MAKING LUNCH. He was trying to cut his ham sandwich into “fancy triangles,” when he dropped the knife. He went to catch it, and sliced his right index finger. He isn’t expected to miss much time.
And Now . . . Another Possible Title for the New “Star Wars” Movie
We might have to stop reporting on the possible subtitle for the seventh “Star Wars” movie . . . if they keep popping up at this rate. Yesterday we heard that the movie might be called “Star Wars: Episode 7 – The Order of the Jedi”.
But today there’s a NEW rumor that it’ll be called “Star Wars: Episode 7 – The Ancient Fear”. That “Ancient Fear” supposedly refers to the villain, played by MAX VON SYDOW.
(Here’s a not-too-serious list of possible titles. A few of them are actually funny.)
Gerard Butler Has Dropped Out of “Point Break”
GERARD BUTLER has dropped out of the “Point Break” remake. He was supposed to play Bodhi, the Zen surfer (slash) thief played by PATRICK SWAYZE in the original.
Sources say he left over creative differences, and also a scheduling conflict with “London Has Fallen”, the sequel to “Olympus Has Fallen” that Butler is due to start filming next month.
The “iHeart Radio Awards” Attracted 5.5 Million Viewers . . . and “NCIS” is #1
“The Voice” averaged 11.4 million viewers last week . . . “American Idol” averaged 7.9 million . . . and the latest episode of “Game of Thrones” had 7.2 million viewers. “NCIS” was the most-watched show of the week, with 17.3 million viewers.
Here are last week’s Top 10 shows:
1. “NCIS”, CBS, 17.3 million viewers.
2. “The Big Bang Theory”, CBS, 16.1 million viewers.
3. “Dancing with the Stars”, ABC, 15.9 million viewers.
4. “NCIS: Los Angeles”, CBS, 14.8 million viewers.
5. “Blue Bloods”, CBS, 11.6 million viewers.
6. Monday’s episode of “The Voice”, NBC, 11.6 million viewers.
7. “Person of Interest”, CBS, 11.3 million viewers.
8. Tuesday’s episode of “The Voice”, NBC, 11.2 million viewers.
9. “The Blacklist”, NBC, 10.8 million viewers.
10. “60 Minutes”, CBS, 10.5 million viewers.
Even Sarah McLachlan Changes the Channel When Her ASPCA Animal Cruelty Commercials Come On
Even SARAH MCLACHLAN can’t handle watching her own super sad TV spots for animal cruelty. During a Reddit chat, Sarah said, quote, “I change the channel too. It’s the kitten with the droopy eye, or the three-legged dog, bless them, it kills me.”
Wednesday TV Reminders:
• “American Idol” [Performance Show] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. The Top 4 are Jena Irene, Caleb Johnson, Jessica Muese and Alex Preston.
• “Hollywood Exes” . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on VH1. Shanna Moakler joins the cast. She has two kids with her ex-husband, Blink 182’s Travis Barker, and one kid with Oscar De La Hoya, who she almost married before suing for palimony.
• The 14th season finale of “CSI” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS.
• The third season premiere of MTV’s “Catfish” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. A guy’s online bank accounts are hacked by a woman he met on Facebook.
• The fifth season premiere of “La La’s Full Court Life” followed by the third season premiere of “Marrying the Game” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on VH1.
• “Deal With It” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TBS. Howie Mandel and Kevin Nealon are this week’s celebrity pranksters . . . with one of the pranks involving someone trying to convince a friend that a meteor’s about to crash.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon” – Zac Efron, Guy Fieri, and Sarah McLachlan.
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” – Sarah Jessica Parker, sportscaster Rich Eisen, and The 1975.
• “Letterman” – Mariah Carey, plus Rick Harrison from “Pawn Stars”.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Pharrell Williams.
• “Carson Daly” – The Kaiser Chiefs and comedy writer Marc Maron.
• “Arsenio” – Bill Cosby, and “Same Love” singer Mary Lambert.
• “Conan” – Sharon Osbourne, and comedians Paul F. Tompkins and Emily Heller.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Megan Boone from “The Blacklist” and Tim Meadows.
• “Chelsea Lately” – Arianna Huffington.
• “Jon Stewart” – Seth Rogen.
• “The Colbert Report” – David Remnick, author of “The 40s: The Story of a Decade”.
Five Random Facts For Wednesday
1. Bluetooth is named after a 10th century Scandinavian king, Harald Bluetooth. He united Danish tribes into one kingdom. When Bluetooth technology was invented, they picked the name because it unified the way machines communicated.
2. When OPRAH gave everyone in her audience a car back in 2004, it turned out everyone there ended up owing the IRS about $6,000 in taxes.
3. “WEIRD AL” YANKOVIC started the Volcano Worshippers club at his high school in California. He says they didn’t actually worship volcanoes, they just wanted to get another photo of themselves in the yearbook.
4. CHRISTIAN BALE was offered James Bond before DANIEL CRAIG. But he turned it down because he thinks James Bond, quote, “embodies every despicable stereotype about British actors” . . . and he’d, quote, “already played a serial killer.”
5. Every ounce of ice water you drink burns one calorie.
17% of People Would Have Sex With a Robot . . . 11% Would Raise a Robot Child . . . and the 10 Jobs Robots Will Take From Us
According to a new survey on ROBOTS, 17% of people say YES . . . they WOULD have sex with a robot. As for which jobs people think robots will take from us, soldiers came in first, factory workers were second . . . and prostitutes were ninth.
Getting a Library Card Feels As Good As a $2,300 Pay Raise?
According to a new study, getting a LIBRARY CARD supposedly makes you just as happy as getting a RAISE worth $2,282. And going to the library makes you happier than playing sports.
Would a Topless Book Club Inspire You to Read More? Check Out These Photos
A group of women in New York City have a TOPLESS BOOK CLUB . . . it’s to inspire more people to read. It’s legal there for women to go topless, so they met over the weekend in Central Park to discuss a few books.
A Pilot Accidentally Crashed Into a House He Used to Own . . . and Started Battling the Flames With a Garden Hose
A small plane crashed into a house outside Denver on Monday, and since the pilot was also a firefighter, he started battling the fire with a garden hose. But it turns out he also used to OWN the house. Luckily no one was killed. And according to police, he didn’t do it on purpose, it was just a coincidence.
An Employee Forgot to Book Transportation For a School Field Trip . . . So He Faked a Kid’s Suicide Note to Get It Canceled
A 30-year-old employee at a travel agency in Japan forgot to book 11 busses for a high school field trip last month, so he tried to get out of it . . . by faking a note from a student threatening to KILL HIMSELF if the trip wasn’t canceled. But the travel agency traced the note back to him and said he’ll be punished. And the school rescheduled their trip.
Alexander Ludwig is 22. Bjorn Ironside on the History Channel’s “Vikings”. You may also remember him from “The Hunger Games” and “Race to Witch Mountain”.
Breckin Meyer is 40. Five-foot-five actor who starred in “Clueless”, “Road Trip”, “Rat Race”, “Garfield”, “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past”, and that TNT lawyer show “Franklin & Bash” with Mark-Paul Gosselaar.
Eagle-Eye Cherry is 45. Biggest hit: “Save Tonight”. Eagle-Eye Cherry is now resting comfortably under the Rock of One-Hit Obscurity with his half-sister Neneh Cherry, Al B. Sure AND Terence Trent D’Arby.
Traci Lords is 46. One of the few people EVER to make the transition from mattress actress to actual actress. You might’ve seen her in “Zack and Miri Make a Porno” which is sort of bridging the gap in between.
Amy Heckerling is 62. Female director who headed up two teen movies that defined two different generations: “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” and “Clueless”.
Less impressively, she also directed “Look Who’s Talking” and “Look Who’s Talking Too”, plus “Johnny Dangerously” and “European Vacation”.
Randall “Tex” Cobb is 64. Former professional boxer. The beating he took in his title fight versus heavyweight champ Larry Holmes disgusted Howard Cosell so much that Cosell never called a boxing match again.)
(Randall “Tex” Cobb went on to a fine acting career . . . starring as Leonard Smalls in “Raising Arizona”, “Dog Owner” in “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective” AND Ernest’s cell mate in “Ernest Goes To Jail”.)
Bill Kreutzmann is 68. Grateful Dead drummer. He played in every single one of the band’s 2,300 shows.
Jimmy Ruffin is 75. Biggest hit: “What Becomes of the Broken Hearted?” He’s the older brother of Temptations lead singer David Ruffin.
Owen Hart should have been 49. He’s the pro wrestler who plunged 80 feet to his death during a WWF pay-per-view in Kansas City.
His harness gave out as he was attempting to make an entrance from high above the ring as his masked character, The Blue Blazer. He hit his head on a turnbuckle, causing it to snap back and break his neck.
Robert Hegyes (1951 – 2012) Juan Luis Pedro Phillipo de Huevos EPSTEIN on “Welcome Back Kotter”! He’s also Jon Bon Jovi’s cousin.
Tim Russert (1950 – 2008) “Meet the Press” host.
Eva Peron (1919 – 1952) The first lady of Argentina from 1946 until her death in 1952 and the inspiration for the musical “Evita”. Which is pretty cool. When “Evita” was made into a movie in 1996, Eva was played by Madonna. That’s less cool.
Johnny Unitas (1933 – 2002) Football legend with a haircut you could set your watch to.
Gary Cooper (1901 – 1961) Hollywood legend who starred in more than 100 films . . . most of which were Westerns . . . during his 35-year career.
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 4 days to Mother’s Day
• 16 days to Days of Future Past
• 16 days to Memorial Day Weekend
• 39 days to Father’s Day
• 58 days to Independence Day
• 989 days left of “Hope and Change”
296 years ago . . . In 1718, the city of NEW ORLEANS was founded! (It was founded by a Frenchman, Jean-Baptiste Le Moyne de Bienville . . . but we’ll just pretend it wasn’t.)
69 years ago . . . In 1945, WORLD WAR 2 ENDED when Germany signed an unconditional surrender. (They signed the unconditional surrender documents in France . . . but we’ll just pretend it was somewhere else.)
53 years ago . . . In 1961, superstar Tony Orlando made his chart debut with “Halfway To Paradise”, which SHOCKINGLY only peaked at #39.
47 years ago . . . In 1967, according to the “New York Times”, Soviet youths OPENLY DEFIED POLICE and DANCED THE TWIST in Moscow’s Red Square.
23 years ago . . . In 1991, 54-year-old BILL WYMAN of the ROLLING STONES divorced 21-year-old MANDY SMITH after less than two years of freaky marriage . . . although they’d “met” when she was just 13 YEARS OLD. She got $6.5 MILLION in the divorce settlement.
22 years ago . . . In 1992, the 27TH AMENDMENT, barring shady Congressmen from giving themselves a midterm pay raise, was ratified when Michigan became the 38th state to approve it . . . a mere TWO HUNDRED AND THREE years after it was proposed.
15 years ago . . . In 1999, a jury ordered “The Jenny Jones Show” to pay $25 MILLION to the family of openly gay Scott Amedure, who was shot to death after revealing a secret crush on homophobic Jonathan Schmitz, a fellow guest on the show.
The decision was later overturned by an appeals court which ruled that the talk show wasn’t responsible for what its guests did after their appearances.