Your daily dose of Cinco De Mayo Whatever!!
Kate Upton Likes People to Pay Attention to Her Butt, Too
Like SOFIA VERGARA before her, KATE UPTON would like us to know that SHE HAS AN ASS, too.
In a behind-the-scenes video from a recent “Sports Illustrated” shoot, Kate sings the praises of one particular bikini, because it complements that part of her anatomy.
Sexy Pictures of Famous People
1. (NC-17) I don’t know if I’ve ever considered SALLY FIELD a sex symbol, but maybe I’m rethinking that, after seeing a picture of her NAKED BACKSIDE. It’s from the 1976 movie “Stay Hungry”. (WARNING!!! There are other pictures and a video at this link that contain plenty of nudity.)
3. ADAM LEVINE bleached his hair blonde.
4. KELLY OSBOURNE shaved the sides of her head.
5. KHLOE KARDASHIAN simply does not have a waist anymore.
6. JULIANNE HOUGH side-boob gets a perfect 30 from me.
7. We don’t know if LARK VOORHIES from “Saved By the Bell” is still crazy, but she IS still that weird color.
8. Some guy makes replicas of famous people out of PEANUTS . . . and it’s kind of amazing.
9. MILA KUNIS showed off some of her baby bump in Hollywood on Saturday.
10. KENDRA WILKINSON’S fetus is massive.
12. Yesterday was “Star Wars Day” . . . you know, May 4th, as in MAY the FOURTH be with you. So SAMUEL L. JACKSON busted out his lightsaber.
Ben Affleck Was Banned from Playing Blackjack at a Casino for Allegedly Counting Cards
BEN AFFLECK has allegedly been banned from playing blackjack at Las Vegas’ Hard Rock Casino because security caught him counting cards. Ben hasn’t commented . . . and in a vaguely worded statement, the casino said, quote, “[He’s] not banned from our property, and is welcome back any time.”
Did Seth Green Eat a Booger on “Conan”?
During an appearance on “Conan” last Wednesday, SETH GREEN appeared to PICK AND EAT A BOOGER. It wasn’t caught during the show, but someone noticed it and posted the video online.
(Here’s the video. It happens right at the beginning.)
President Obama’s Best Jokes from the White House Correspondents’ Dinner
PRESIDENT OBAMA had some good jokes at Saturday’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner, like this one: “Let’s face it, Fox, you’ll miss me when I’m gone. It’ll be harder to convince the American people that Hillary was born in Kenya.” JOEL MCHALE from “Community” hosted the show.
“Colorado legalized marijuana this year. An interesting social experiment. I do hope it doesn’t lead to a lot of paranoid people who think the federal government is out to get them and listening to their phone calls.”
“Let’s face it, Fox, you’ll miss me when I’m gone. It’ll be harder to convince the American people that Hillary was born in Kenya.”
“The House Republicans give John Boehner a harder time than they give me. Which means orange really is the new black.”
“Gridlock has gotten so bad in this town, you have to wonder . . . what’d we do to piss off Chris Christie so bad?” (Check out his whole, 20-minute routine here.)
“The Amazing Spider-Man 2″ Made $92 Million This Weekend
“The Amazing Spider-Man 2″ made $92 million at the box office this weekend, which is right on par with the $95 million the “Captain America” sequel made in its first weekend last month.
That’s also BETTER than the first “Amazing Spider-Man”, which made $62 million in 2012 . . . which is good news for the studio.
The second movie for TOBEY MAGUIRE’S original trilogy started out as a bit of a box office letdown, going from a $115 million opening weekend for “Spider-Man” to an $88 million first weekend for “Spider-Man 2″.
Here are this week’s Top 10 movies:
1. (NEW) “The Amazing Spider-Man 2″, $92 million.
2. “The Other Woman”, $14.2 million. Up to $47.3 million in its 2nd week.
3. “Heaven is for Real”, $8.7 million. Up to $65.6 million in its 3rd week.
4. “Captain America: The Winter Soldier”, $7.8 million. Up to $237 million in its 5th week.
5. “Rio 2″, $7.6 million. Up to $106 million in its 4th week.
6. “Brick Mansions”, $3.5 million. Up to $15.5 million in its 2nd week.
7. “Divergent”, $2.2 million. Up to $143 million in its 7th week.
8. “The Quiet Ones”, $2 million. Up to $6.8 million in its 2nd week.
9. “God’s Not Dead”, $1.8 million. Up to $55.6 million in its 7th week.
10. “The Grand Budapest Hotel”, $1.7 million. Up to $51.5 million in its 9th week.
Another “Beverly Hills Cop” Movie is Happening
A fourth “Beverly Hills Cop” movie is in the works, and scheduled for a March, 2016 release. It’ll once again star EDDIE MURPHY as Axel Foley. This time the action will take place in his home city of Detroit.
This comes after a failed attempt to turn the franchise into a TV series . . . which would have focused on Axel’s SON, with Eddie relegated to a recurring character. CBS actually ordered a pilot for the show, but ended up passing.
Will Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Work Together Again?
The last time BRAD PITT and ANGELINA JOLIE made a movie together, JENNIFER ANISTON’S life completely unraveled. Hopefully that doesn’t happen this time . . .
Sources say the Jolie-Pitts will star in a movie together that Angelina wrote. There’s no word on the plot, or even what kind of movie it is.
Brad left Jennifer shortly after filming the 2005 movie “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” with Angelina.
Monday TV Reminders:
• “Dancing with the Stars” . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.
• “The Voice” . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC. The Top 8 perform.
• The series premiere of “24: Live Another Day” . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. It’s set four years after the “24” finale, with Jack coming out of hiding in London to prevent a terrorist attack.
• The third season finale of “2 Broke Girls” . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on CBS.
• The season finale of “The Tomorrow People” . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on the CW.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon” – Bryan Cranston, Brie Larson, Kevin Delaney, and Latimore.
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” – Jenna Elfman, and Young the Giant.
• “Letterman” – Shailene Woodley, and Peyton Manning.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Sally Field, Julia Roberts, and Future Islands.
• “Carson Daly” – TBA
• “Arsenio” – Billy Bob Thornton, and Paul Mooney.
• “Conan” – Julie Bowen, Billy Eichner, and Ziggy Marley.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Elisabeth Moss, and Tom Felton.
• “Chelsea Lately” – 2 Chainz.
• “Jon Stewart” – Mariano Rivera.
• “The Colbert Report” – Edward O. Wilson.
Five Random Facts For Monday
1. If you had $1 billion and spent $1,000 a day, it would take you about 2,740 years to run out of money.
2. A politician named Daniel Webster turned down the offer to be vice president twice in the 1800s, because he only wanted to be president. The offers came from William Henry Harrison and Zachary Taylor . . . who both ended up dying in office.
3. The secret ingredient to making a pie crust that’s more flaky and tender is . . . vodka.
4. When you BREAK WIND, it travels out at about 10 feet per second . . . that’s about seven miles-an-hour.
5. Lobster wasn’t always considered a delicacy . . . before the late 1800s, lobsters were called the “cockroaches of the sea” and fed to prisoners to save money.
For Mother’s Day, Buy Your Mom a Scarf . . . That’s Also a Flask?
There’s a new product called “FlaskScarf”, which is a scarf with an eight-ounce FLASK in it. And it’s being marketed as the perfect Mother’s Day gift. (???) Each one costs $25 at the website ShopBaxbo.com. And for Father’s Day next month, they also sell a product called the “FlaskTie.”
Eight Simple Things That Seriously Improve Your Appearance
1. Always stand up straight. And when you walk, look forward . . . not down. Basically, walk like you’re a superhero wearing a cape.
2. Get more sleep.
3. Only smile RIGHT before a photo is taken, don’t plaster a smile to your face. And stick your head out a little and tilt it forward slightly . . . it makes your face look the best.
4. Wear clothing that’s the correct size . . . not too big or too small.
5. Change your hairstyle at least once a decade.
6. Wear the right shoes at the right occasion. If you’re not sure what shoes are right, wear slightly nicer ones than you’d think.
7. Drink more water. It helps your skin and reduces bloating.
8. Change your sheets and pillowcases more often. You won’t be sleeping in your old oil and sweat anymore, which will help your skin. (Reddit)
The Average Woman Drops Five Pounds After a Break-Up
According to a recent survey: The average woman loses five pounds in the month after a break up . . . 77% of people tend to be skinnier when they’re single . . . and the average person starts noticing they’ve gained weight three months into a relationship.
There’s a New Burger Topped With Pabst Blue Ribbon Inside an Exploding Fried Wonton
PYT is a restaurant in Philadelphia that makes the craziest burgers in the world . . .
Their new burger is the Fried Chicken and Beer Burger. It features a fried chicken breast . . . and a fried wonton on top that’s filled with PABST BLUE RIBBON. So as you eat the wonton, the beer EXPLODES into your mouth.
If you want the burger, get to Philadelphia now . . . they say it’s only available for a limited time. (Eater)
A New Airplane Armrest Has Finally Solved the Problem of Sharing
Of the 15,000 horrible things about flying, fighting with the stranger next to you over the ARMREST is one of the worst. But this new invention may be the answer.
A company in Hong Kong called Paperclip Design just designed an airplane armrest that hooks UP at the end, to give it an upper level and a lower level. That way, BOTH people can use it comfortably.
1. Childhood ends at 11. The sense of childhood JOY and WONDER doesn’t last quite as long as it used to. A new study out of England found that basically, childhood now ends at age ELEVEN.
Kids’ happiness starts going WAY DOWN after that. (Jezebel)
2. The mirror makes us feel bad. A new study found that NINE out of ten women say they FEEL BAD when they look in the mirror. And it comes up a lot . . . because the average woman looks in the mirror around five times a day. (Daily Mail)
3. “Terminator” could come true. Believe it or not, giving computers artificial intelligence really COULD lead to a rise of the machines . . . it’s not just science fiction.
STEPHEN HAWKING of all people says he’s WORRIED that advances in artificial intelligence COULD lead to machines becoming sentient, and destroying life as we know it. (io9)
A School Had to Take Down Anti-Cheating Posters . . . Because They Featured a Math Formula That Helped Kids Cheat
A college in England put up posters in classrooms that said “NO CHEATING” . . . with a picture of a student writing math formulas on his hand. But at least one student ended up using the formula on the POSTER to cheat on a math test. So they’ve taken the posters down.
Chris Brown is 25. He’s an immature anger ball who beats women and throws chairs through windows, and yet still, everyone in music wants to work with him and his last album debuted at #1. Lucky for society, he’s currently in JAIL awaiting trial on an assault charge.
Adele is 26. Candy-coated, Grammy award-dominating British singer.
Brooke Hogan is 26. Hulk Hogan’s daughter with a decent pop music voice . . . and man-hands that could crush coconuts.
Related Comedy: Brooke Hogan is 25 today. This begs the question: What do you get for the girl who can crush anything between her thighs?
Clark Duke is 29. The kid from John Cusack’s “Hot Tub Time Machine”.
Henry Cavill is 31. Your new Superman. You may also remember him from “The Count of Monte Cristo” as the count’s son, “The Tudors” as Charles Brandon, and “Immortals” as Theseus. He’s currently nailing super-sexy former women’s MMA minx Gina Carano.
Danielle Fishel is 33. Topanga from “Boy Meets World” . . . and now “Girl Meets World”. She also dated Lance Bass . . . and said she had NO IDEA that he was gay when they were together.
Vincent Kartheiser is 35. Pete Campbell on “Mad Men”.
Santiago Cabrera is 36. He played Isaac Mendez on “Heroes” and Lancelot on “Merlin”. And he’s playing Aramis in next year’s BBC show “The Musketeers”.
Sage Stallone (1976 – 2012) Sly’s son, AND Rocky Balboa Junior in “Rocky 5″. He would have been 38.
Tina Yothers is 41. The true star of “Family Ties”!
Todd Newton is 44. He’d be leading the next generation of game show hosts . . . ya know, if game shows were still a big deal. He hosted “Hollywood Showdown” and “Whammy! The All-New Press Your Luck” . . . and now, he’s on the Travel Channel show “Are You Game”, where he travels around the world competing in game shows.
Brian Williams is 55. The anchorman of “NBC Nightly News”. He got his start in 1981, working at KOAM-TV, a CBS affiliate covering the mighty market of Pittsburg, Kansas and Joplin, Missouri. His genetic materials helped create the very sexy Allison Williams, who plays Marnie on “Girls”.
Brian Phelps is 55. The Brian of Mark & Brian fame . . . the DJs from “The Princess Diaries”!
Kurt Loder is 69. MTV News legend who manages to somehow keep a straight face AND credibility when he discusses late-breaking Jonas Brothers developments.
John Rhys-Davies is 70. Gimli in “The Lord of the Rings” movies. And Indy’s Egyptian sidekick Sallah in a couple of the “Indiana Jones” movies.
Lance Henriksen is 74. Horror / Sci-Fi B-movie GOD. He played the android Bishop in the “Alien” movies . . . Ed Harley in “Pumpkinhead” . . . and Jesse Hooker, the head of a bloodsucking clan in “Near Dark”, a very cool vampire flick from 1987.
Tammy Wynette (1942 – 1998)
Karl Marx (1818 – 1883) Author of the “Communist Manifesto”. The guy down the street wearing the Glenn Beck t-shirt thinks he’s the main influence behind the Liberal Media.
193 years ago . . . In 1821, NAPOLEON BONAPARTE died in exile from his beloved France at the age of 51. Doctors tried to prolong his life by giving him ARSENIC. Instead, it killed him. Sixteen years later, his corpse was shipped from England to France; the chemical kept it completely preserved.
152 years ago . . . In 1862, CINCO DE MAYO, ess-say! The Mexican army scores an upset victory over the invading French army at the Battle of Puebla. (Hey, a victory over the French is still a victory.)
A few important points about Cinco de Mayo, though:
1. Even though the Mexicans held off the French that day, they didn’t win their war. About a year later, the French successfully occupied Mexico City. They didn’t leave until the U.S. strongly pressured them to leave a few years later.
2. It’s NOT Mexican Independence Day. That’s September 16th.
3. It’s NOT a federal holiday in Mexico, but just a voluntary one. And it doesn’t get huge celebrations in Mexico . . . in fact, they barely notice it.
4. Even though it’s virtually ignored in Mexico, outside of the country it’s evolved into a day of BROWN PRIDE. Which is why it gets huge celebrations in U.S. cities with large Latino populations.
123 years ago . . . In 1891, the Music Hall in New York City opens. Two years later it was renamed CARNEGIE HALL, after Andrew Carnegie, who paid for it to be built.
110 years ago . . . In 1904, Cy Young threw the first perfect game in the modern era of baseball against the Philadelphia Athletics.
93 years ago . . . In 1921, COCO CHANEL debuts her perfume, CHANEL NO. 5. It hits stores one year later and, ever since, one bottle sells every 55 seconds.
89 years ago . . . In 1925, biology teacher JOHN SCOPES was arrested for teaching the THEORY OF EVOLUTION in Dayton, Tennessee. (Good to see how far we’ve come.)
53 years ago . . . In 1961, ALAN SHEPARD became the FIRST AMERICAN IN SPACE when he made a 15-minute sub-orbital flight.
46 years ago . . . In 1968, BUFFALO SPRINGFIELD broke up. Members STEPHEN STILLS and NEIL YOUNG went on to form another little group with some guys named GRAHAM NASH and DAVID CROSBY.
24 years ago . . . In 1990, PAUL HOGAN married his hot “Crocodile Dundee” costar LINDA KOZLOWSKI. Today’s their 21st Anniversary . . . but they’re in the process of getting a divorce.
20 years ago . . . In 1994, as a punishment for spray painting graffiti all around Singapore, an American teenager named MICHAEL FAY received four lashes with a four-foot long, half-inch split bamboo rod.
17 years ago . . . In 1997, the final episode of “Married with Children” aired on Fox.
14 years ago . . . In 2000, beautiful BILLY BOB THORNTON slummed it by marrying the hideous gargoyle known to humans as “ANGELINA JOLIE“. He came to his senses and they got divorced in May of 2003.