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Whatever 5.23

Your daily dose of Whatever!

This Year’s “Maxim” Hot 100 Is Out 

“Maxim” has released their complete Hot 100, and this year, the top spot went to South African model Candice Swanepoel.  The rest of the top five is:  Scarlett Johansson, Katy Perry, Irina Shayk and Jennifer Lawrence.

1.  Candice Swanepoel

 

2.  Scarlett Johansson

 

3.  Katy Perry

 

4.  “Sports Illustrated” swimsuit model Irina Shayk

 

5.  Jennifer Lawrence

 

6.  Zooey Deschanel

 

7.  Victoria’s Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio

8.  Jessica Alba

 

9.  Mila Kunis

 

10.  Cara Delevingne . . . the model Michelle Rodriguez is rumored to be dating

 

 

As we’d heard earlier this week, Rihanna just missed the Top 10 at #11, and last year’s #1 Miley Cyrus fell all the way down to #25 this year.

James Franco’s Crushes Include Winona Ryder and . . . Marlon Brando? 

JAMES FRANCO says he had a childhood crush on WINONA RYDER back in the late 1980s, and also cops to a man-crush on MARLON BRANDO, whom he calls, quote, “inevitably sexy” and “a being full of intelligence who moves like a dancer and speaks like a poet.”

Kim Kardashian’s Aunt Won’t Attend the Wedding Because She’s Afraid Her House Will Burn Down and She’s Already Been to Two of Kim’s Weddings 

KIM KARDASHIAN’S aunt isn’t going to her wedding because she’s afraid wildfires in Southern California will destroy her house, but she also says, quote, “Screw it . . . I’ve been to two weddings of Kim.”

First, there are wildfires in Southern California that are threatening her neighborhood . . . plus she’s already seen Kim get married TWICE before.

 

 

She says, quote, “If your house was going to burn down would you go to Paris?  Screw it . . . I’ve been to two weddings of Kim.  But I’m really happy for her and I do have a present for her.”

 

 

Karen’s been in contact with her family in Paris, and she says most of the guests STILL don’t know where the ceremony is happening . . . quote, “Kanye’s calling the people a half hour before and saying, ‘Here’s where it is.’  I can’t even tell you where it is.”

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

 

 

1.  BILLY CORGAN outs himself . . . as a CAT LOVER . . . on the cover of “PAWS Chicago” magazine.

 

 

 

2.  What is this thing JOHN TRAVOLTA is keeping on his chin?

 

 

 

3.  MORGAN FREEMAN injured his hand in a 2008 car accident, and he STILL has to wear a compression glove.

4.  BEYONCÉ was spotted wearing some super-long braids in New York City.

 

 

 

5.  MILEY CYRUS posted some bathtub selfies.  They’re not as sexy as you might expect.

 

 

 

6.  JESSICA ALBA in yoga pants and a halter top after a workout.  You’re welcome.

It’s On!  Between Charlie Sheen and Rihanna 

CHARLIE SHEEN has started a feud with RIHANNA after she refused to meet his fiancée, while they were both at the same restaurant on Wednesday.  Charlie called her “the Village Idiot” in a long Twitter rant . . . Rihanna dismissed him as an “old queen” . . . and Charlie kept it going by thanking her for recognizing his “royalty.”

Someone Stole a Bottle of Wine from George Clooney’s Italian Home 

 

 

A 29-year-old Romanian man tried to break into GEORGE CLOONEY’S villa in Lake Como, Italy.  He didn’t get in, but he did find a bottle of wine in a “small alcove” in the garden.

 

 

Unfortunately, one of George’s employees saw the man and called police.  The guy tried to attack the cops with the bottle, but they took him down and hauled him in.

 

 

George was in London at the time, but sources say he’ll be back to marry his fiancée  Amal Alamuddin there in September.

Should Women Get One Day a Month Off Work for Their Period?  Macy Gray Thinks So 

 

 

Of all the random things to ask a celebrity about . . . a paparazzi scumbag asked singer MACY GRAY if women should get one paid day off per month when they’re on their period.  And she’s all for it.

 

 

She said, quote, “Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.  It’s a little painful, it’s not a good day at work.  I’m down.”  (Here’s video.)

X-Men: Days of Future Past” and Drew Barrymore’s Third Adam Sandler Comedy

 

 

1.  X-Men: Days of Future Past  (PG-13)  Trailer

 

 

The X-Men of the future send Wolverine to the past in a desperate attempt to change history and stop a war between the mutants and the rest of humanity.

 

 

Peter Dinklage from “Game of Thrones” is the villain.  He develops gigantic robot soldiers to hunt and kill mutants . . . and the robots start killing normal people too.

 

 

Hugh Jackman plays Wolverine in both time periods.  In the future he fights alongside Patrick Stewart’s Professor X, Ian McKellen’s Magneto, and other X-Men like Colossus, Iceman, Halle Berry’s Storm, and Ellen Page’s Kitty Pryde.

 

 

In the past he works with James McAvoy’s Professor X, Michael Fassbender’s Magneto, and other X-Men like Beast, Quicksilver and Jennifer Lawrence’s Mystique.

 

 

 

2.  Blended  (PG-13)  Trailer

 

 

Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore reunite for their third romantic comedy.  This time they go out on a bad blind date and HATE each other.  Then they find themselves stuck together during their separate vacations to an African safari resort with their kids.

 

 

Adam and Drew first worked together in “The Wedding Singer” back in 1998.  Then they teamed up again for “50 First Dates” ten years ago.

Sneak Peek at Upcoming CD, DVD, and Theatrical Releases

 

 

Theatrical Releases for Next Friday:

 

“Maleficent” . . . starring Angelina Jolie as Maleficent and Elle Fanning as Aurora.

“A Million Ways to Die in the West” . . . starring Seth MacFarlane and Liam Neeson.

 

 

New in the Past Week to Netflix Instant Streaming:

 

“Star Trek: Into Darkness” . . . starring Chris Pine and Benedict Cumberbatch.

“Machete Kills” . . . starring Danny Trejo, Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson.

“The Suspect” . . . Mekhi Phifer is arrested during a racial profiling experiment.

 

 

DVDs for Tuesday:

 

“Endless Love” . . . starring Alex Pettyfer and Gabriella Wilde.

“The Trials of Cate McCall” . . . starring Kate Beckingsale and Nick Nolte.

• The third season of “Suits” and the fourth season of “Covert Affairs”.

 

 

 

CDs for Tuesday:

 

“Me, I am Mariah . . . The Elusive Chanteuse”, Mariah Carey

“A Letter Home”, Neil Young

“KISS 40″, a greatest hits collection from KISS

“The Journey”, a country EP from Jamie Lynn Spears

“Eternal”, Australian country minx Jamie O’Neal

Five Random Facts For Friday

1.  Ronald McDonald is called Donald McDonald in Japan.  It’s because there’s no clear “r” sound in Japanese.

 

 

2.  Every mammal has about one billion heartbeats in their lifetime, regardless of their lifespan.  So a mammal that lives a shorter time, like a dog, has a heart that beats faster than a mammal that lives a longer time, like a whale.

 

 

3.  France didn’t stop executing people with the guillotine until September of 1977.  To put that another way . . . they were still executing people by guillotine when the original “Star Wars” came out.

 

 

4.  Russia and Pluto have almost the exact same surface area:  6.6 million square miles.

 

 

5.  If you’re in a room with 70 people, statistically there’s a 99.9% chance at least two of them will have the same birthday.  And if you’re in a room with just 23 people, there’s a 50% chance two of them will have the same birthday.

 

 

(Wikipedia / NIH / Ask.com / Wolfram Alpha / Wikipedia)

What Do People in Your State Google More Than People Anywhere Else?

Alaska:  mail order brides.

 

Arizona:  conjugal visits.

 

Georgia:  butt implants.

 

Louisiana:  “Golden Girls”.

 

Maryland:  DAVID HASSELHOFF.

 

Maine:  cat pics.

 

Nevada:  tattoo removal.

 

Texas:  Do I have herpes?  (Estately)

The Top Five Things We Want Science to Invent

1.  A pill that cures all illnesses.

 

2.  Wrinkle-free clothing.

 

3.  Self-driving cars.

 

4.  Robot maids.

 

5.  A time machine.

(Daily Mail)

Our Top Pet Peeves at Restaurants are Wild Kids, Slow Service, and Typos on the Menu

Here are the top five most common pet peeves people have with restaurants, according to a new study:  Unsupervised kids running wild . . . slow service . . . the food comes out too quickly . . . no substitutions allowed . . . and long waits.

(Biz Journals)

The 10 Most Popular Burger Toppings in America

According to a not-very-exciting new survey, the most popular burger topping in America is . . . ketchup.  The rest of the top five are onions, tomatoes, lettuce, and mustard.  For some reason, cheese wasn’t one of the choices.

(ABC News)

 

The Worst Souvenir at the New 9/11 Museum Is . . . a Cheese Plate Shaped Like America With Little Hearts at the Crash Sites

The 9/11 museum opened in New York this week, and the controversy started right away . . . over the GIFT SHOP.   And maybe they have a point . . . because one of the things they’re selling is a CHEESE PLATE shaped like America, with little hearts at the crash sites.

(Gothamist)

Follow-Up:  Edward Cocaine Has Been Cleared of Drug Possession Charges

There’s a 34-year-old in Florida whose real name is EDWARD COCAINE.  And he was arrested in April when cops found Xanax on him.  But the charges were all DROPPED on Wednesday when he was able to show the judge his prescription.

 

(South Florida Sun-Sentinel

Lane Garrison is 34.  The former “Prison Break” actor who decided to drink and drive while partying with some teenagers, resulting in the death of a 17-year-old boy.  He did less than two years in prison before the parole board broke him out.

 

 

Kelly Monaco is 38.  Soap opera minx who won the first “Dancing with the Stars”.

 

 

Jewel is 40.  One strange tooth, two ample breasts and 40 sweet, sweet years.

 

 

Ken Jennings is 40.  The Mormon guy who won 74 straight episodes of “Jeopardy!”, earning himself more than $3 MILLION.  He got spanked by IBM’s super computer Watson, who more than tripled his score in the man vs. machine showdown.  He lost his most recent tournament to a guy named Brad Rutter.

 

 

Maxwell is 41.  Sexy and probably well-hung Nubian R&B master.

 

 

Phil Selway is 47.  Drummer for Radiohead.

 

 

H. Jon Benjamin is 48.  The voice of Sterling Archer on “Archer”, and Bob on “Bob’s Burgers”(You’ve also heard him in basically every other recent animated show like “Family Guy”, “Ugly Americans”, and “American Dad”.)

 

 

Melissa McBride is 49.  Killer Carol on “The Walking Dead”.  The episode where she had to put down that psychotic kid was one of the show’s most disturbing, but easly one of its BEST.

 

 

Drew Carey is 56.  He’s no Bob Barker.  But he’s in the WWE Hall of Fame . . . so suck on THAT, Bob.

 

Mitch Albom is 56.  Detroit sportswriter who’s made a fortune from his books “Tuesdays with Morrie” and “The Five People You Meet in Heaven”.

 

 

Marvelous Marvin Hagler is 60.  Boxing star from the ’80s who liked the “Marvelous” nickname so much that he LEGALLY added it to his name.

 

 

Joan Collins is 81.  Probably the only 81-year-old woman you’d still nail.

 

 

SCATMAN CROTHERS  (1910 – 1986)  Louie the garbage man on “Chico & The Man”;  Dick Hallorann in “The Shining”; and the voice of Hong Kong Phooey!

 

 

Franz Anton Mesmer  (1734 – 1815)  Hypnosis pioneer.  The word “mesmerized” comes from his name.

Countdown to Upcoming Events

It’s Memorial Day Weekend!!!

• 12 days to the CMT Music Awards

• 23 days to Father’s Day

• 42 days to Independence Day

• 973 days left of “Hope and Change”

 

229 years ago . . . In 1785, BENJAMIN FRANKLIN wrote a letter describing his newest invention . . . BIFOCALS.  He said it would now be unnecessary for people to carry two pairs of spectacles.

 

 

 

80 years ago . . . In 1934, bank robbers BONNIE & CLYDE were shot to death by Texas and Louisiana state troopers near Gibsland, Louisiana.

 

 

CLYDE BARROW was shot 27 times and BONNIE PARKER was shot 50 times after the officers opened fire on their stolen car . . . without warning.  Bonnie and Clyde’s 27-month bank robbing spree had resulted in 13 murders.

 

 

 

39 years ago . . . In 1975, the second tier of Anaheim Stadium began to bounce and sway under a packed crowd at a BEACH BOYS show . . . leading engineers to recommend adding steel supports to the structure to prevent massive carnage.

38 years ago . . . In 1976, the “Washington Post” reported that Congressman Wayne Hays was paying his secretary, Elizabeth Ray, $14,000 a year . . . and SHE COULDN’T EVEN TYPE.  She could, however, get-it-on like a champion . . . which is how she earned her salary.

 

 

32 years ago . . . In 1982, the Central London chapter of the British Musicians Union moved a resolution to BAN SYNTHESIZERS AND RHYTHM MACHINES from all recording sessions and live engagements.  The resolution was defeated.

 

 

30 years ago . . . In 1984, “Indiana Jones and the Temple Of Doom” was released.

 

 

15 years ago . . . In 1999, WWF star OWEN HART fell to his death during the pay-per-view event, “Over the Edge”.  Owen was being lowered into the ring from the ceiling of the Kemper Arena in Kansas City . . . but his harness gave way, and he plunged 80 feet, hitting a turnbuckle face-first.

Two years ago . . . In 2012, ADAM LAMBERT became the first openly gay artist to debut at number one on the “Billboard” 200 chart, with his album “Trespassing”.

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