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Whatever 5.22

Your daily dose of Whatever!!

Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen are Having a Baby 

 

 

RACHEL BILSON and HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN are expecting their first child.  There’s no word on a due date.

 

 

Rachel stars on the CW series “Hart of Dixie” . . . but you probably know her best from “The O.C.”.  Hayden is best known for playing Anakin Skywalker (slash) Darth Vader in the “Star Wars” prequels.  She’s 32, he’s 33.

 

 

They met on the set of the movie “Jumper” in 2007, and were engaged the following year.  They split up for about three months in 2010.

Elin Nordegren Has Moved on From Tiger Woods 

 

 

In a new interview with “People” magazine, ELIN NORDEGREN says she was “devastated” when she found out her husband TIGER WOODS was messing around.  But she’s “moved on” and she’s even happy he’s with LINDSEY VONN.

 

 

She says, quote, “Our relationship is centered around our children, and we are doing really good, we really are.  He is a great father.

 

 

“I’m happy for Tiger.  In general, in any kind of stepparent relationship, I’m happy that there’s somebody else loving my children.”  (Elin is currently dating a coal BILLIONAIRE named Chris Cline.)

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

 

 

1.  Would you like to see video of MAKS and VAL CHMERKOVSKIY from “Dancing With the Stars” frolicking in nothing but strategically-placed hats?

 

 

 

2.  SELENA GOMEZ posted a bikini selfie, along with the caption, “Taking my power back . . . can’t wait to show you where I’ve been.  I love y’all.  Ps, I still obsess over pickles.”

 

 

 

3.  “Entertainment Weekly” has JESSICA ALBA in a bikini on the cover.

 

 

 

4.  KATY PERRY and MADONNA did a bondage-themed shoot for “V Magazine”.

 

 

 

5.  SOPHIA LOREN:  79 and I’d STILL hit it.

Angelina Jolie Says Hollywood Moms Shouldn’t Complain . . . Is She Taking a Shot at Gwyneth Paltrow? 

ANGELINA JOLIE may have taken a shot at GWYNETH PALTROW for claiming she has it harder than the average mom.  Without mentioning Gwyneth by name, Angelina says, quote, “I’m in a rare position where I don’t have to do job after job.  I can take time when my family needs it.  I actually feel that women in my position, when we have all at our disposal to help us, shouldn’t complain.”

Mike Myers Was “Super Proud” to Be Next to Kanye West During His Infamous “George Bush Doesn’t Care About Black People” Rant 

MIKE MYERS may have looked uncomfortable to be next to KANYE WEST when he dropped his infamous “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” line during that Hurricane Katrina telethon back in 2005 . . . but now, he says he was, quote, “super proud [to be] next to the guy who spoke a truth.”

Did Jennifer Lawrence Tell a Rape Joke at Cannes? 

 

 

JENNIFER LAWRENCE may have jeopardized her standing as America’s sweetheart . . . by telling a RAPE JOKE at the Cannes Film Festival.

 

 

It wasn’t a public statement, and there’s no video record of it.  Jennifer was at a party when she spotted “Gravity” director ALFONSO CUARON.  Apparently, she was psyched to meet him because she SCREAMED as she approached him.

 

 

Then she told him, quote, “I broke out my rape scream for you!”

 

 

The Internet has been beating Jennifer up since yesterday . . . but she hasn’t commented yet.

Caleb Johnson Won “American Idol” . . . And Ryan Seacrest Performed a Duet with Richard Marx 

CALEB JOHNSON beat JENA IRENE ASCIUTTO to become your new “American Idol”.  But the highlight of the night had to be RYAN SEACREST FINALLY singing.  He teamed up with RICHARD MARX to choke out a mercifully short version of “Right Here Waiting”.

Thursday TV Reminders:

 

 

“Hollywood Game Night” . . . from 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC.  This week’s celebrities are “Hot in Cleveland” stars Wendie Malick, Valerie Bertinelli, and Jane Leeves . . . plus Mekhi Phifer, Billy Eichner and Andy Richter.

 

 

• The “Last Comic Standing” 8th season premiere . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC.

 

 

• The series premiere of “Gang Related” . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.  Ramon Rodriguez from “The Wire” is a cop with secret gang ties.  He joins the LAPD’s gang task force to protect his gang . . . and also to avenge the death of his partner.

 

RZA from the Wu-Tang Clan plays his new task force partner, and Terri O’Quinn from “Lost” is the task force leader.

Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:

 

 

“The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon”Amanda Seyfried, Will Ferrell, and Will’s look-a-like Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer Chad Smith.

 

 

“Late Night with Seth Meyers”Hugh Jackman, Kevin Nealon, and Ali Wong.

 

 

“Letterman”Stephen Colbert, Robin Roberts, and Kelis.  (Repeat)

 

 

“Jimmy Kimmel”Magic Johnson, T.J. Miller, and Little Dragon.

 

 

“Carson Daly”Giovanni Ribisi, Tinariwen, and Gillian Robespierre.

 

 

“Arsenio”Randy Jackson, Lil Jon, and Jermaine Dupri.  (Repeat)

 

 

“Conan”Ellen Page, Bob Saget, and Jennifer Nettles.

 

 

“Craig Ferguson” – The comedic brilliance of BOB OSHACK!!!  For those of you who don’t know, Bob’s one of our extremely talented writers on The Complete Sheet.

 

In addition to Bob, Tom Lennon from “Reno 911″ will also be there to talk about his upcoming “Odd Couple” show.  And 2Cellos are the music guest.

 

 

“Chelsea Lately”Drew Barrymore.

 

 

“Jon Stewart”Drew Barrymore.

 

 

“The Colbert Report” – Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus.

Five Random Facts For Thursday

1.  The U.S. used to have more time zones than we do now . . . A LOT more.  In the early 1800s, cities could set their own time based on the sun . . . and there were 144 separate time zones.  We got down to four in the continental U.S. by 1883.

 

 

2.  South Korea has compulsory military service . . . every male 18 to 35 has to serve for two years.  And there are VERY few ways to get out of it . . . but one of them is winning an Olympic medal.

 

 

3.  When Kurt Cobain and Krist Novoselic first started playing music together, it wasn’t as Nirvana . . . they joined up to start a Creedence Clearwater Revival cover band.

 

 

4.  “The Matrix” came out closer in time to “Top Gun” than it did to “The Avengers”.  It came out 4,702 days after “Top Gun” . . . just under 13 years.  And 4,783 days before “The Avengers” . . . just OVER 13 years.

 

 

5.  If 1.2 million mosquitoes bit you at the same time, they would drain all of your blood.

 

 

(New Yorker / Fox News / Biography / MMA / Megacatch)

Texters Are Voted the Most Annoying Drivers . . . Even Worse Than Tailgaters or Multitaskers

A new survey found we hate people who text and drive the most . . . beating out tailgaters, people who multitask, people who drift into other lanes, and people who go under the speed limit.

1.  People who text, email, or talk on the phone and drive.  69% of us ranked these idiots as the worst drivers.

 

2.  Tailgaters, 60%.

 

3.  People who multitask and eat, read, or put on makeup while they drive, 54%.

 

4.  People who drift into other lanes, 43%.

 

5.  People who drive under the speed limit, 39%.

 

6.  People who don’t use their turn signals, 38%.

(Expedia / AAA)

You Don’t Turn Old Until Age 80?  Plus the Top 10 Signs You’re Getting Old

A new survey found people think the average age when you turn old is . . . age 80.  The top signs you’re getting old are falling asleep while you watch TV or read, forgetting things, and groaning when you get out of a chair.

 

(SWNS)

For Every Seven Pounds You Lose on a Diet, You Also Lose One Friend

A new study found that for every seven pounds you lose on a diet, you also lose one FRIEND.  The main reasons are jealously and drifting apart because of the lifestyle changes you make to be healthier.

(Daily Mail)

The 10 Most Common Disgusting Things People Do

A new survey found the most common disgusting things people do.  Some of the top ones are going several days without showering . . . running out of underwear and not wearing any . . . cleaning naked . . . letting the dog sleep on the bed . . . and using the same toothbrush for years.

(Daily Mail)

The CEO of Levi’s Says You Should Never Wash Your Jeans

According to the CEO of Levi’s, you should NEVER wash your jeans.  He says that’s the best way to break them in . . . and it helps the environment because you don’t waste water and energy washing them.

(Jezebel)

One Out of Four Memorial Day Barbecues Feature a Woman Manning the Grill

The GRILL GAP is closing!  25% of Memorial Day barbecues this year will have a WOMAN handling the grilling.  That’s the highest percentage ever.

(PR Newswire)

 

Almost Half of Us Are Terrible Swimmers, or Can’t Swim at All

 

In a new study by the Red Cross, 86% of Americans said they know how to swim.  But that includes a lot of people who can BARELY swim.  Because the study found only 56% of us can do the five basic requirements for “water competency”:  Being able to jump into the deep end of a pool . . . then tread water for one minute . . . turn 360 degrees . . . swim 75 feet . . . and get out of the pool without using a ladder.

(RedCross.org)

 

A Nerdy Kid Saved a Girl From a Drunk Driver and May Not Walk For a Year . . . and She Still Considers Them Just Friends

A 15-year-old in Oregon was walking with a 17-year-old female friend on Tuesday, when they saw a drunk driver speeding toward them.  So the guy pushed the girl out of the way, took the hit, and it could be a YEAR until he walks again.  Oh, and he’s kinda nerdy and the girl is attractive . . . but she STILL says they’re just friends.

(ABC 2 – Portland)

A Murder Trial Was Suspended Because Everyone in Court Could See a Couple Having Sex in the Next Room

A murder trial in Italy was interrupted a few weeks ago . . . because everyone in the courtroom could see two court employees HAVING SEX in the next room.  They thought the people in court couldn’t see them through a frosted window . . . but they were wrong.  So the trial was suspended and they’re both facing discipline.

The Telegraph

A Truck Carrying 20 Million Bees Crashes in Delaware . . . and 90% Are Now on the Loose

A truck driver was transporting 20 million bees from Florida to Maine on Tuesday . . . but TIPPED OVER on an interstate on-ramp in Delaware.  About 18 million of the 20 million bees got away and are now flying around Delaware.  The driver was stung about 100 times . . . and also cited for unsafe shifting of a load.

(NBC 10 – Philadelphia / Gawker)

Novak Djokovic is 27.  Serbian tennis stud.  Enjoy this photo of him in a banana hammock.

 

 

Apolo Ohno is 32.  Speedskater who won gold medals in both the 2002 and 2006 Olympics.  In 2010 he “only” won one silver and two bronze.  (But he did win the fourth season of “Dancing With the Stars”, so he’s got that going for him.)

 

 

Maggie Q is 35“Nikita” minx who protects Tris’ secret in “Divergent”.  She’s also damn hot in that movie “Priest”.

 

 

Ginnifer Goodwin is 36.  Snow White on “Once Upon a Time”.  She was also Bill Paxton’s third wife on HBO’s “Big Love” and Gigi, the clueless girl, in “He’s Just Not That Into You”.  She played basically the same role in “Something Borrowed”.

 

 

Alison Eastwood is 42.  Clint’s sexy daughter who was nice enough to go naked in “Playboy” for us in 2003.  She’s also the minx in “Just A Little Harmless Sex”.

 

 

Naomi Campbell is 44.  Angry Nubian Supermodel who did community service for hitting her housekeeper over the head with her jewel-encrusted cell phone.

 

 

Johnny Gill is 48.  New Edition AND solo singer.  Biggest solo hit:  1990′s “Rub You the Right Way”.  Johnny Gill used to nail Janet Jackson.

Morrissey is 55.  Brooding asexual who was the lead singer of The Smiths

Bernie Taupin is 64.  Elton John’s brilliant songwriting partner.  Unfortunately, unlike Elton, he’s totally straight . . . he’s currently on his fourth wife.

 

 

Ted Kaczynski is 72.  The Unabomber.  Between 1978 and 1995 he mailed out 16 bombs, killing three people and injuring 23.  He’s currently serving life in prison without the possibility of parole.

 

 

Harvey Milk  (1930 – 1978)  The first gay man to be elected to public office.  In 1978, he won a seat on San Francisco’s Board of Supervisors . . . 11 months later he was murdered by another city supervisor.  Sean Penn played him in “Milk”.

 

 

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle  (1859 – 1930)  Author and creator of Sherlock Holmes.

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• 1 day to Days of Future Past

• 1 day to Memorial Day Weekend

• 13 days to the CMT Music Awards

• 24 days to Father’s Day

• 43 days to Independence Day

• 974 days left of “Hope and Change”

123 years ago . . . In 1891, the first public showing of a MOTION PICTURE took place.

 

 

About 150 members of the National Federation of Women’s Clubs visited THOMAS EDISON’S lab and watched the film through a one-inch hole in a pine box.  The movie was of a guy bowling.

 

 

122 years ago . . . In 1892, British dentist WASHINGTON SHEFFIELD invented the TOOTHPASTE TUBE.

 

 

56 years ago . . . In 1958, JERRY LEE LEWIS arrived in England to begin his first tour in the U.K.  After confirming to the press that he did marry his 13-YEAR-OLD first cousin, the tour was canceled.

 

 

48 years ago . . . In 1966, 16-year-old BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN recorded his first song, “That’s What You’ll Get”, with his band THE CASTILES.

 

 

47 years ago . . . In 1967, “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” premiered on PBS.

 

 

43 years ago . . . In 1971, THE ROLLING STONES’ 16th album, “Sticky Fingers”, hit #1.  It contains the jams “Brown Sugar”, “Wild Horses” AND “Can’t You Hear Me Knocking”.

37 years ago . . . In 1977, JANET GUTHRIE became the first female driver to qualify for the INDY 500.

 

 

21 years ago . . . In 1993, JOHNNY CARSON, DOC SEVERINSEN and ED MCMAHON retired from the “Tonight Show” after 30 years.  (Technically, it was Johnny who retired.  Ed and Doc kind of didn’t have a choice.)

 

 

20 years ago . . . In 1994, POPE JOHN PAUL THE SECOND issued a statement saying the Roman Catholic Church would NEVER ordain women as priests.

 

 

17 years ago . . . In 1997, the Air Force’s first female bomber pilot certified for combat, KELLY FLINN, accepted a general discharge from the service . . . in order to avoid court-martial on charges of lying, disobeying an order and ADULTERY.

 

 

Nine years ago . . . In 2005, THURL RAVENSCROFT, the guy who did the voice of Tony the Tiger and sang “You’re a Mean One, Mister Grinch” in the original animated version of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”, died at 91.

 

 

(Lee Marshall, the guy who took over for Thurl as Tony the Tiger, just died last month.)

 

 

Three years ago . . . In 2011, an EF5 tornado hit Joplin, Missouri.  161 people lost their lives in the deadliest U.S. tornado since we started keeping track in 1950.

 

 

Two years ago . . . In 2012, PHILIP PHILIPS won the eleventh season of “American Idol”.

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