Your daily dose of Whatever!!
Jennifer Lawrence is FHM’s Sexiest Woman Alive
JENNIFER LAWRENCE is “FHM” magazine’s Sexiest Woman Alive. MILA KUNIS, who was last year’s choice, is at #6. Jennifer hit #20 on the list last year.
1. Jennifer Lawrence
2. British actress Michelle Keegan
4. “Blurred Lines” video minx Emily Ratajkowski
5. Kaley Cuoco
6. Mila Kunis
8. Another British minx by the name of Lucy Mecklenburgh
9. Nicole Scherzinger
10. Scarlett Johansson
Making their debuts on the list this year are Kendall Jenner, Ariana Grande, “Modern Family” star Sarah Hyland, Michelle Rodriguez’s girlfriend Cara Delevingne, and 54-year-old celebrity chef Nigella Lawson. (Check out the complete Top 100 here.)
Did Fox News Demote Shepard Smith Because He Wanted to Come Out of the Closet?
Fox News anchor SHEPARD SMITH supposedly asked his bosses last summer if he could publicly come out of the closet. They told him NO, then demoted him from primetime to the afternoon. A source says, quote, “They tried to play it up as a big promotion. But everyone knew that Shep was getting demoted. And the coming out thing was a significant part of that.”
Sexy Pictures of Famous People
1. Check out the rock GEORGE CLOONEY put on Amal Alamuddin’s finger. It’s more than 7 carats, and the diamond was ETHICALLY MINED, of course.
2. DANICA MCKELLAR’S booty shorts are back.
3. Here’s JESSICA SIMPSON and her man almost touching tongues.
4. BRADLEY COOPER got huge to play a Navy SEAL in his upcoming movie.
5. What would celebrities look like with KIM JONG UN’S hair? Check it out here.
7. Sexy Video: 86-year-old Dodgers legend TOMMY LASORDA was spotted heading into an L.A. nightclub with two FINE ladies. There’s no word who they were, but he was going there for his niece’s birthday party.
“Who Framed Roger Rabbit” Star Bob Hoskins Has Died
BOB HOSKINS died on Tuesday of pneumonia at the age of 71. He’d retired from acting in 2011, after being diagnosed Parkinson’s disease. Bob played the alcoholic private investigator Eddie Valiant in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”, and was also Mario in the 1993 movie “Super Mario Bros.” and Mr. Smee in two Peter Pan adaptations.
Oprah Might Buy the Clippers After All
OPRAH WINFREY’S rep has CONFIRMED that she is kicking around the idea of buying the L.A. Clippers from DONALD STERLING. The rep said, quote, “[Oprah is] in discussions with David Geffen and Larry Ellison to make a bid for the Clippers should the team become available.”
Heisman Trophy Winner Jameis Winston Has Been Cited for Stealing $32 Worth of Seafood from a Grocery Store
Florida State’s Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback JAMEIS WINSTON was cited for stealing $32.72 worth of SEAFOOD from a grocery store. In a statement, Jameis called it a, quote, “terrible mistake,” and added, quote, “In a moment of youthful ignorance, I walked out of the store without paying.”
Did Jennifer Lawrence Get Trashed and Throw Up at the Oscars?
We all remember JENNIFER LAWRENCE wiping out on the red carpet at this year’s Oscars. She said she tripped over a CONE . . . but that’s not the only reason she fell. It turns out she was HAMMERED.
Jennifer taped an interview for “Late Night With Seth Meyers” recently, in which she admitted she got wrecked. She was so bad, she puked on the stairs at MADONNA’S after-party.
MILEY CYRUS just happened to be walking by, and she told Jennifer, quote, “Get it together, girl.”
David Spade Explains Why He Didn’t Go to Chris Farley’s Funeral
DAVID SPADE and CHRIS FARLEY were best friends. But when Farley died, Spade no-showed the funeral. And in an online chat this week, he explained why. He said, quote, “I think about him all the time.
“We had such a good time for so long and we were crammed together for so long that we did have our squabbles, but I think people misunderstood me not going to that funeral. It was nothing about that. It was just too . . . emotional and I wouldn’t be able to handle it.”
Miley Cyrus Had to Cancel Two More Dates
MILEY CYRUS still hasn’t fully recovered, and will cancel her next two concerts, scheduled for tomorrow and Sunday. She’ll supposedly be ready for a show Tuesday in London. Her people said, quote, “After a period of improvement, Cyrus’ symptoms have returned and doctors will not permit her to travel.”
For Some Reason, There Will Be a Third “Sharknado” Movie
How much “Sharknado” can you take?
We’re still three months away from the debut of the sequel, “Sharknado 2: The Second One” . . . and Syfy has already ordered a third “Sharknado” movie, which will air in the summer of 2015.
There aren’t any details on the third one yet, so it’s too early to say whether IAN ZIERING and TARA REID will be back again. “Sharknado 2″ will premiere on July 30th.
Thursday TV Reminders:
• “The iHeartRadio Music Awards” . . . from 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. “Voice” judges Pharrell, Shakira, and Blake Shelton are among the performers for the first-ever iHeartRadio Awards. Here are the nominees.
The other performers include Drake, Kendrick Lamar, Pitbull, Thirty Seconds to Mars, Ariana Grande, Luke Bryan, Arcade Fire, and Ed Sheeran.
The awards broadcast will also include a new Michael Jackson song, from his posthumous album “Xscape”, which is hitting stores on May 13th.
• “American Idol” [Results Show] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on Fox.
• The second season finale of “Vikings” . . . from 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on History.
• The fourth season finale of “Portlandia” . . . from 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on IFC.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon” – Andrew Garfield, Mary Lynn Rajskub, and Chvrches.
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” – Kiefer Sutherland, Rose Byrne, and actor-comedian Richard Ayoade.
• “Letterman” – Louis C.K., Amy Sedaris, and a performance by the cast of Broadway’s “Rocky” musical.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Sandra Oh, “Science Bob” Pflugfelder, and Boy George.
• “Carson Daly” – John Turturro, Off!, Katie Crown, and Midlake.
• “Arsenio” – Katt Williams and “Dancing with the Stars” contestant Amy Purdy with her dance partner Derek Hough. Music Guest: Hezekiah Walker & Choir.
• “Conan” – Jessica Pare, Martin Short, and Kelis.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Cheryl Hines, and MMA fighter Rampage Jackson.
• “Chelsea Lately” – Neon Trees singer Tyler Glenn talks about his decision to come out of the closet as a deliciously gay Mormon.
• “Jon Stewart” – David Spade.
• “The Colbert Report” – Slam poet Saul Williams talks about “Holler if Ya Hear Me”, his Broadway musical inspired by the lyrics of Tupac Shakur.
Five Random Facts For Thursday
1. Americans have approximately 75 million cats . . . that’s 2.11 cats for EVERY household and more than any other country in the world.
2. South Africa has ELEVEN official languages: But somehow, the motto on their coat of arms isn’t in ANY of those . . . it’s in a language called Khoisan.
3. Two-thirds of the donations to charity in the U.S. are made by women.
4. AEROSMITH made more money in royalties off the video game “Guitar Hero: Aerosmith” than they made from any of their actual albums.
5. If you hate DONALD STERLING, the racist owner of the L.A. Clippers, you’re experiencing a phenomenon called the PARADOX OF TOLERANCE . . . being intolerant of intolerance.
There’s a Website That Analyzes Your Face and Tells You How Hot You Are
If you’ve never heard of it, there’s a website called AnaFace.com that analyzes your face and tells you how HOT you are. You upload a photo, click on 17 different spots on your face, it looks at how symmetrical your features are, then spits out a number from one to ten. And it tells you SPECIFICALLY which features are bringing you down.
The Top Three Reasons Couples Won’t Use the Toilet in Front of Each Other
A new survey found 47% of people won’t use the toilet in front of their significant other. The top reasons are: It’s too embarrassing . . . it’s a nice private time to check your phone . . . and you’re afraid it’ll hurt your sex life.
1. It’s too embarrassing.
2. It’s a nice private time to check your phone or read.
3. You’re afraid it’ll hurt your sex life . . . and that your face when you’re struggling on the toilet might look similar to your sex face. (???)
Of the 53% of people who WOULD use the toilet in front of their significant other, the majority said they’d wait until they’d been together at least six months.
The Number One Reason Men Cheat on Their Wives Is . . . Because They Had Kids
According to a new survey, the number one reason men cheat on their wives is because they have KIDS. 82% of men say they started cheating after they had kids . . . the top reason was that the sex got less passionate after the baby came.
A Study Found the Magic Word to Get Your Kids to Do Chores
A new study has found the MAGIC WORD to get your kids to do chores. And it is . . . “helper.” When researchers asked kids to be a helper instead of asking them for HELP, the kids were more likely to do the chores. The researchers say it’s because the noun “helper” makes it a part of their character and identity, so they’re more motivated to prove it’s true.
Eating Like a Caveman Makes Your Kid Act Like a Caveman
Here’s why you need to get your kids eating EVERYTHING with silverware and not just shoveling food into their mouth with their hands. A new study found that when kids eat like cavemen or wild dogs, it makes them ACT like cavemen or wild dogs.
Researchers at Cornell University in New York found that when kids ate chicken off the bone, they behaved worse than kids who ate cut-up pieces of chicken.
It’s because biting off the bone is AGGRESSIVE . . . so when kids eat aggressively, they ACT aggressively. (Medical News Today)
What Old Technology Do You Prefer Over the Modern Version?
What old technology do you prefer to the modern version? Some of the most popular answers are paper books . . . popcorn in a pot with oil . . . driving a manual transmission . . . and a cheap, old Bic razor.
Golf Courses Have Started Tripling the Size of Their Holes to Make Golf Easier
Golf can be REALLY hard without practice and lessons . . . and that’s been scaring off new players. So about 100 courses around the U.S. and Canada are trying to make golf EASIER . . . by TRIPLING the size of the holes. A standard golf hole is four-and-a-half inches . . . these courses have holes that are eight, 12, or even 15 inches.
Florida Wants to Make Sure It’s Legal to Kill Zombies During a Zombie Apocalypse
A state senator in Florida just proposed an amendment that would make it legal to carry a concealed weapon during a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. The original bill would allow people to carry concealed weapons during a state of emergency . . . but this senator wants that to SPECIFICALLY include a zombie attack.
Jamie Dornan is 32. He went from being a throw away character on “Once Upon a Time” to being the guy woman are going to be lusting after in “50 Shades of Grey”.
Emilia Clarke is 37. She IS Daenerys Targaryen on “Game of Thrones”. She’s also going to play Sarah Connor in next year’s new “Terminator” movie.
Darius McCrary is 38. He was Eddie Winslow on “Family Matters”. (Darius’ ex-wife Karrine Steffans has had to take out TWO restraining orders on him because he was allegedly stalking and harassing her.)
Julie Benz is 42. Rita Bennett on “Dexter”. But sci-fi fans would also know her from “Defiance”, “Angel” and “No Ordinary Family”.
Wes Anderson is 45. Amazing writer-director of “Rushmore”, “The Royal Tenenbaums”, “The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou”, “Moonrise Kingdom” and “The Darjeeling Limited”. His most recent movie was “The Grand Budapest Hotel”.
TIM MCGRAW is 47. Faith Hill gets to nail him ANYTIME SHE WANTS TO!
Mattress actress Debi Diamond is 49. She’s starred in 576 fine films, including . . . “Dial A for Anal”, “Stranger at the Backdoor” and “Anus & Andy”!
Ray Parker Jr. is 60. “Ghostbusters” superstar singer. Without him, we simply would NOT know who to call.
Related Comedy: “Ghostbusters” singer Ray Parker Jr. turns 60 today. Ray wanted a bouncy house for his party, but ironically, he had no idea who to call.
Dann Florek is 64. Captain Cragen on “Law & Order: SVU”. He left the show earlier this season.
Paul Teutul Sr. is 65. “American Choppers” superstar with the sexy grey handlebar mustache.
RITA COOLIDGE is 70. Biggest hit: The classic “(Your Love Has Lifted Me) Higher and Higher”. That song was used in “Ghostbusters 2″, but not Rita’s version.
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 1 more day to Spider Man 2
• 10 days to Mother’s Day
• 22 days to Days of Future Past
• 22 days to Memorial Day Weekend
• 45 days to Father’s Day
• 995 days left of “Hope and Change”
47 years ago . . . In 1967, 32-year-old ELVIS PRESLEY married 21-year-old PRISCILLA BEAULIEU at the Aladdin Hotel in Las Vegas. They separated in 1971 and Elvis filed for divorce in 1973.
44 years ago . . . In 1970, ELTON JOHN and BERNIE TAUPIN combined talents for the first time. One of the first songs they wrote together was the classic, “YOUR SONG”.
41 years ago . . . In 1973, BACHMAN-TURNER OVERDRIVE released their first LP. And if you’re COOL, you can simply refer to Bachman-Turner Overdrive as BTO.
25 years ago . . . In 1989, police in California were called to a jewelry store after employees reported a suspicious person . . . who turned out to be MICHAEL JACKSON shopping in disguise.
23 years ago . . . In 1991, at age 44, NOLAN RYAN threw his 7TH NO-HITTER, helping his Texas Rangers shut out the Toronto Blue Jays, 3-to-0. That same night in Oakland, RICKEY HENDERSON stole his 939TH BASE to break LOU BROCK’S all-time record.
22 years ago . . . In 1992, on the third day of the L.A. riots, BEATEN BLACK MOTORIST RODNEY KING (that’s his full legal name, ya know) appeared in public to appeal for calm, by simply asking, “CAN WE ALL GET ALONG?”
(By the time the riots ended, 54 people died and 11,000 were arrested.)
15 years ago . . . In 1999, my Beautiful DIXIE CHICK EMILY ERWIN married lucky CHARLIE ROBISON and became My Beautiful DIXIE CHICK EMILY ROBISON. They divorced in 2008, but so far she’s kept his last name.
Eight years ago . . . In 2006, SHAQ and KOBE both welcomed new daughters into the world, born just SIX MINUTES apart. Gianna Bryant was born in California just minutes before Me’arah O’Neal was born on the opposite coast, in Florida.
Three years ago . . . In 2011, PRESIDENT OBAMA announced that OSAMA BIN LADEN had been killed. Although it actually happened on May 2nd, local time.
One year ago . . . In 2013, CHRIS KELLY . . . better known as the MAC DADDY of KRIS KROSS . . . OD’d on a fatal mix of drugs that his mom says included cocaine and heroin. He was only 34.