Your daily dose of Whatever!!
10 Couples Who Had Babies Out of Wedlock
Having children out of wedlock is just as common for celebrities as it is for the rest of us. Famous couples who’ve gone down that road include Brad and Angelina, Kim and Kanye and Kate Hudson and Matt Bellamy. Will Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher join them?
JESSICA SIMPSON and former NFL player ERIC JOHNSON have two kids, and they’re still not married.
KIM KARDASHIAN and KANYE WEST are getting married next month. Their daughter North will be a few weeks shy of her first birthday by then.
NATALIE PORTMAN got knocked up by the choreographer of her ballet movie “Black Swan”. They got married about a year after their son was born.
MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY and Camila Alves had two kids before marriage and one after.
KRISTEN BELL and DAX SHEPARD had a quick, courthouse wedding after their daughter was born.
JENNIFER HUDSON and WWE superstar DAVID OTUNGA had a son in 2009, and they’re still not married.
KATE HUDSON and MATT BELLAMY from MUSE had a baby in 2011, and again, they’re still not married.
DAVID LETTERMAN and Regina Lasko got married when their son was six.
When SACHA BARON COHEN and ISLA FISHER got married in 2010, she was pregnant with their second child.
BRAD PITT and ANGELINA JOLIE still haven’t made The Big Mistake. They have six kids, three of whom are biological.
Sexy Pictures of Famous People
1. KIM KARDASHIAN let it all hang out during a photo shoot. And by “it all”, we of course mean HER ASS.
2. KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN posted a throwback photo of herself in a bikini, mounting her boyfriend SCOTT DISICK.
3. BRITNEY SPEARS wore a mini-dress to watch her sons play soccer. Let’s just say it’s a good thing she’s taken to wearing panties these days.
4. PRINCE WILLIAM and KATE MIDDLETON were given a traditional Maori welcome when they touched down in New Zealand. And this picture is worth a thousand words.
5. JENNIFER LAWRENCE is in the new issue of Martha Stewart’s “Real Weddings” magazine with the rest of the bridal party from her brother’s wedding.
6. GISELE BUNDCHEN meets a baby turtle on the beach.
7. ZOE SALDANA even looks great without makeup.
8. EDDIE MURPHY’S daughters, 24-year-old BRIA and 19-year-old SHAYNE, hit the beach in bikinis. I’m no fashion expert, but I’d say they wore them well.
9. In case you missed country music’s “ACM Awards” on Sunday night, JEWEL had some nice cleavage . . . except for the weird shading between her boobs.
10. KATY PERRY put some green crap in her hair.
25-Year-Old Peaches Geldof Has Died
PEACHES GELDOF died yesterday. She was just 25 years old. It’s unclear what happened . . . officials are treating her death as “unexplained and sudden.” Peaches was the daughter of BOB GELDOF . . . the guy from the BOOMTOWN RATS, who organized LIVE AID.
(Here’s a video news report on Peaches’ death.)
Sophia Loren is Drew Barrymore’s Godmother . . . And Other Celebrity Godparents
A lot of celebrities choose other celebrities as the godparents of their kids. For instance, Sophia Loren and Steven Spielberg are Drew Barrymore’s godparents, Bono is godfather to Knox and Vivienne Jolie-Pitt, and Sonny Bono was the godfather of Red Hot Chili Peppers singer Anthony Kiedis.
Is Kirstie Alley’s New Jenny Craig Ad Insensitive to Chubbies?
KIRSTIE ALLEY is back with Jenny Craig, and she has a new ad out, where she says she’s not, quote, “circus fat” she just wants to lose 20 pounds. Some people think she’s MOCKING fat people. Kirstie doesn’t seem too bothered by it, but she admits the phrase isn’t politically correct.
Did David Ortiz Ruin White House Selfies for Everyone Else?
The U.S. Olympic team visited the White House last week, and were reportedly told that they were NOT allowed to take a selfie with PRESIDENT OBAMA. And it’s because Boston Red Sox star DAVID ORTIZ ruined it for everyone else.
During his own White House visit last week, Ortiz took a selfie with the president. What he didn’t mention was that he had a deal with Samsung, and they used the photo as a promotional device. The White House was NOT happy with that.
Still, Samsung and Ortiz claim the selfie idea wasn’t set up in advance . . . it just happened. And if there IS a ban on selfies at the White House, nobody there is admitting it.
RELATED COMEDY: The White House is considering banning people from taking selfies with President Obama. Although Secret Service agents will probably be too busy getting drunk and picking up prostitutes to enforce the rule.
So Michael Cera Was a Spanish Woman in the 1940s?
It’s always fun to find old-timey photographs that look like current celebrities. Like that 140-year-old picture of a guy who looks exactly like NICOLAS CAGE.
Well, someone found a painting from the 1940s, of a woman named Dona Carmen Arconada . . . and it looks a lot like MICHAEL CERA. (Check it out here, and make sure you scroll down for various comparison pics.)
(Here’s a gallery of more celebrity look-alike photos. The Glenn Close / George Washington comparison is a low blow. But at the same time, it kind of works.)
Scarlett Johansson Would Like You to Stop Calling Her “ScarJo”
Some of the more annoying gossip magazines have been known to refer to SCARLETT JOHANSSON as “ScarJo” . . . and she does NOT like it.
She tells “Glamour” magazine, quote, “I associate that name with, like, pop stars. It sounds tacky. It’s lazy and flippant . . . there’s something insulting about it.”
Corey Feldman Says There Shouldn’t Be a “Goonies” Sequel Unless They Have a Perfect Script
COREY FELDMAN Tweeted that there should only be a “Goonies” sequel if there’s a “perfect script”. But he clarified that he EXPECTS there to be a perfect script because the original crew of director Richard Donner, producer Steven Spielberg and writer Chris Columbus are all involved. He said, quote, “If they write it, I will come.”
The Makers of “Sharknado” Are Doing a Zombie TV Series for Syfy
The continued success of “The Walking Dead” means that zombies are still hot. So Syfy is jumping on the bandwagon, with a new series called “Z Nation”.
It’s about a guy whose blood could contain the solution to the zombie Apocalypse that ravaged America, and a group of, quote, “everyday heroes” who have to transport him across the country to the last functioning viral lab.
If this sounds exciting, well . . . don’t get your hopes up. The show is being made by The Asylum, the movie company responsible for “Sharknado”, “Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus” and “Snakes on a Train”. There’s no word on a premiere date.
Barbara Walters Quits “The View” on May 16th
BARBARA WALTERS’ last day on “The View” will be May 16th. That night from 9:00 to 11:00 P.M., ABC will air a special highlighting her career.
Barbara announced her retirement last year, but she’ll continue to executive-produce “The View”, and she’ll also contribute to ABC News.
Tuesday TV Reminders:
• “Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.” . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC. Coulson’s team is trapped with a traitor in their midst. If you’ve seen the new Captain America movie, you know it has a direct tie-in with one of the senior agents from the show.
• “The Voice” . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC. The live playoffs premiere.
• “Justified” [5th Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:15 P.M. on FX.
• “Celebrities Undercover” . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on Oxygen. Joey Fatone from ‘N Sync and Jaleel White from “Family Matters” are this week’s celebrities.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon” – Anne Hathaway, Marlon Wayans, and Yusuf . . . a.k.a. Cat Stevens.
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” – Kristen Wiig, Colin Hanks, and Mario Batali.
• “Letterman” – Rob Lowe, Brooklyn Decker, and London Grammar.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Tracy Morgan, Kate Mara, and Birds of Tokyo.
• “Carson Daly” – Judy Greer. Plus: Sarah Lee Guthrie & Johnny Irion.
• “Arsenio” – Kevin Smith and Ernestine Johnson.
• “Conan” – Anthony Mackie, Kumail Nanjiani, and Bad Suns.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Jon Hamm and Pam Dawber.
• “Chelsea Lately” – Jamie Foxx pimps “The Amazing Spider-Man 2″.
• “Jon Stewart” – Denis Leary.
• “The Colbert Report” – Jane Goodall.
“The Desolation of Smaug” is on DVD and “LEGO: The Hobbit” is on Consoles
Here’s what’s new on DVD today:
• “The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug“, with Martin Freeman as Bilbo Baggins.
• “Grudge Match“ . . . starring Robert DeNiro and Sylvester Stallone as boxing rivals.
• “August: Osage County“ . . . the Oscar-nominated movie starring Meryl Streep as the drug-addicted mother of Julia Roberts, who returns home for her father’s funeral.
• The Justin Bieber concert movie “Believe“.
• “Bad Ass 2: Bad Asses“ stars Danny Trejo and Danny Glover.
• “Lizzie Borden Took an Ax“ stars Christina Ricci as ax murderer Lizzie Borden.
• “Nurse 3-D“ stars Paz De La Huerta from “Boardwalk Empire” as a nurse who seduces cheating men to their deaths. Katrina Bowden from “30 Rock” is also in it.
Here’s what’s new in the past week to Netflix Instant Streaming:
• The black version of “Steel Magnolias“ with Queen Latifah and Phylicia Rhyshad.
• “The Last Days on Mars“ . . . a sci-fi horror thriller starring Liev Schreiber.
• “Rapture-Palooza“ . . . Anna Kendrick and her boyfriend survive the Rapture and try to save what’s left of the world from the Anti-Christ, who’s played by Craig Robinson.
• The first five “Rocky” movies, Will Smith’s “Ali”, the first two “Terminator” movies, and all eight seasons of “House MD” are in rotation now too.
And here’s what’s new in videogames:
• “Lego: The Hobbit“ on the Xbox360, XboxOne, PS3, PS4, the WiiU, and the PC.
• “Titanfall“ on the Xbox360. The XboxOne version already came out on March 11th.
• “Duets”, Linda Ronstadt. It includes her hits “Don’t Know Much” and “All My Life” with Aaron Neville, and “Somewhere Out There” with James Ingram. Plus duets with James Taylor, Dolly Parton, Bette Midler, Don Henley, and Frank Sinatra.
Linda can’t sing anymore because of her Parkinson’s disease, but she’s scheduled to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on Thursday.
• “Everlasting“, Martina McBride. It includes a cover of Linda Ronstadt’s “Little Bit of Rain”, plus classics like “Suspicious Minds” and “What Becomes of the Broken Hearted”. Her guests are Kelly Clarkson and Gavin DeGraw. (Album Preview)
• “Catacombs of the Black Vatican“, Black Label Society
• “Enclosure“, John Frusciante of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
It’s been streaming from SPACE for the past week and people with an app could listen to it for free whenever the satellite passed over their region of the planet.
• “Going Back Home“, Wilko Johnson from Dr. Feelgood with Roger Daltrey
• “Love & Hate“, Joan Osbourne
• “Carter Girl“, Carlene Carter . . . Her guests include Willie Nelson, Vince Gill, and Kris Kristofferson.
• “Celebrate“, James Durbin . . . from the 10th season of “American Idol”.
• “Convertibles“, Chuck Inglish from the hip-hop duo the Cool Kids.
• “Pure Fiction“, pop rock singer Eric Hutchinson
• “Silent Treatment“, the Norwegian pop band High As A Kite
• “Walk Through Walls“, indie rock minx Katie Herzig
• “The Golden Age of Glitter“, the rock band Sweet Apple
• “Welcome to the New“, the Christian rock band MercyMe
Five Random Facts For Tuesday
1. Only one out of six Americans could find the Ukraine on a map . . . and the people who were most wrong about the location were also the most passionate about the U.S. intervening.
2. BUZZ ALDRIN’S mother’s maiden name was Moon.
3. There’s a difference between a crevice and a crevasse. A crevice is a small crack, a crevasse is a huge crack.
4. If you’re suffering from an existential crisis, you can get some relief with . . . Tylenol. A study found that Tylenol actually helps people overcome the fear and anxiety that come from deep philosophical issues.
5. A chimp’s POOP THROWING ABILITY is actually a sign of intelligence. The more accurately the chimp throws his feces, the stronger his brain.
What’s the Worst Part About Having Sex?
1. Cleaning up afterward.
2. You can’t just fall asleep in each other’s arms right afterward. Real sex involves a mad rush to the bathroom.
3. The muscle cramp you were able to ignore in the moment but really feel afterward.
4. Trying to sleep in the wet spot.
5. Pregnancy scares.
6. When you hear, “Oh yeah, keep doing THAT” and you overthink it and screw up whatever you were doing.
7. The condom smell that lingers in the room.
8. When you’re ready for it to be over so you can read your book or watch TV, and the other person has been swearing for 10 minutes that they’re “close.” (Reddit)
Guys Named Wayne Are Most Likely to Cheat on You
A new study found that men named Wayne are the most likely to CHEAT on you. The rest of the 10 biggest names for cheaters goes: Liam, Ryan, Matt, Craig, Steve, Scott, Dean, Mark, and Lee.
The More You Use Twitter, the More Likely You Are to Wind Up Divorced
Twitter is BAD NEWS for relationships, according to a new study out of the University of Missouri. The study found that the more someone used Twitter, the WORSE their real-life relationship turned out. More tweeting was linked to more cheating, more breakups, and more divorces.
What’s the Sexiest Instrument to Play?
What’s the SEXIEST INSTRUMENT to play? In a new survey, GUITAR was the top answer, just ahead of saxophone. The survey also asked people who they’d want to be in a rock band. Lead singer came in first, and drummer came in second.
26% said guitar.
25% said saxophone.
21% said piano.
14% said violin.
7% said drums.
And 5% might’ve misheard the question, and said flute.
The survey also asked who you’d most want to be in a rock band. Lead singer obviously came in first, at 29%. Drummer got 27% . . . lead guitarist got 19% . . . keyboard player got 14% . . . and the poor bassist got 8%. (CBS News)
Want People to Think You’re Smart? Smile More
According to a new study, the easiest way to make people think you’re smart is to SMILE more. Researchers had people guess the IQ of strangers based on just facial features, and found we’re more likely to think someone’s dumb if they’re frowning . . . and more likely to think they’re smart if they’ve got a smile on their face.
Airlines Are Getting Worse . . . But We’ve Lost the Will to Complain
In an annual report on airline quality, on-time arrivals and mishandled luggage rates were worse in 2013 than 2012. But the number of complaints filed went way DOWN. The study also found Virgin America was the best airline last year, and American Eagle was the worst.
Cow Tipping Is Old News . . . the Hot New Move Is Smart Car Tipping
Here’s your 2014 urban hipster alternative to cow tipping. Apparently, some punks in San Francisco have been running around tipping over SMART CARS. The police say a group of guys in hoodies tipped over at least four Smart cars on Sunday night. It’s a funny-sounding concept . . . unless it’s your Smart car. Each tipping probably causes thousands of dollars in damage.
A Guy Tries to Get Rid of the Bugs in His Computer by Setting Them on Fire . . . and Burns Down His Apartment
A man in Orlando, Florida set a fire in his apartment on Sunday night . . . and according to the police report, he did it to, quote, “burn the bugs in his home and computer.” He may’ve been confused about what it means when there are “bugs” in your computer, or he might LITERALLY have had bugs in his computer, since his apartment was filthy. No one was hurt.
Mattress actress Melanie Rios is 23. She was going to be a part of Charlie Sheen’s “porn family“, before he settled on his blonde goddesses.
Melanie’s 111 fine films include “Charlie’s Devils”, the porn parody “Not Charlie Sheem’s House of Whores”, and the porn version of “Charlie’s Porn Family”.
Gabriela Wilde is 25. She’s the hot blonde who played Sue Snell in the “Carrie” remake and has the lead in the “Endless Love” remake.
Felix Hernandez is 28. Seattle Mariners pitcher who won the Cy Young award in 2010, pitched a perfect game in 2012, and signed a $175 million contract in 2013.
Taran Noah Smith is 30. Pubescent Mark from “Home Improvement”. He got married . . . and subsequently divorced . . . to a woman 16 YEARS older than him. Let’s hear it for the older MINXES WHO DO!
Vampire Weekend singer Ezra Koenig is 30.
Taylor Kitsch is 33. “Friday Night Lights” stud who got to play Gambit in the “Wolverine” X-Men movie and led Mark Wahlberg’s SEAL team in “Lone Survivor”.
Katee Sackhoff is 34. Starbuck on “Battlestar Galactica”. These days she plays a deputy on A&E’s “Longmire”.
Heaven Leigh is 38. Mattress actress with “the fire down below” who has starred in 212 fine films, including . . . “5 Card Slut”, “Butthole Patrol”, “Mouth Wide Open”, “San Francisco 69’ers”, and “Bisexual Built for Two”.
Patricia Arquette is 46. Snaggle-toothed star of “Medium” and sister of Rosanna and clown-ass David. Nicolas Cage used to nail her.
Robin Wright Penn is 48. Jenny in “Forrest Gump”, Princess Buttercup in “The Princess Bride”, and Kevin Spacey’s wife on “House of Cards”. Sean Penn traded her for Scarlett Johansson. Now he’s nailing Charlize Theron. And she’s engaged to Ben Foster from “Lone Survivor”.
Biz Markie is 50. FUGLY rapper.
Julian Lennon is 51.
Izzy Stradlin is 52. Former Guns N’ Roses guitarist.
Richard Hatch is 53. Very gay winner of the original “Survivor” who’s been in and out of prison ever since he decided not to pay taxes on his winnings.
JOHN SCHNEIDER! is 54. THE ORIGINAL Bo Duke on “The Dukes of Hazzard”. Jonathan Kent on “Smallville” AND a country music SUPERSTAR.
Kane Hodder is 59. To horror fans, he’ll always be THE Jason Voorhees. He played Jason in FOUR “Friday the 13th” movies: The 7th through the 10th. Not necessarily the best period for the series, but he played the character more than anyone else. He’s also Victor Crowley in the “Hatchet” movies.
Tom DeLay is 67. Liar . . . money launderer . . . and out of our lives.
Jack O’Halloran is 71. Zod’s mute henchman in “Superman 2″!
John Havlicek is 74. Boston Celtics legend who STOLE THE BALL.
Kofi Annan is 76. Sexy former U.N. leader.
Shecky Greene is 88. THE COMEDIANS’ COMEDIAN. You might remember him as Mr. Buyrite in “Splash” or as Marcus Vindicus in “History of the World: Part I”.
Betty Ford (1918 – 2011) Former First Lady and founder of the clinic that’s cleaned up many an alcoholic.
Jim “Catfish” Hunter (1946 – 1999) One of two Baseball Hall of Famers to die of Lou Gehrig’s Disease. I can’t remember who the other one was.
Edward Mulhare (1923 – 1997) The Ghost Captain on “The Ghost & Mrs. Muir” and DEVON MILES ON “KNIGHT RIDER”.
BUDDHA (563 B.C. – 483 B.C.) Legend has it that he could walk AND talk at birth. He founded one of the world’s major religions, achieved enlightenment . . . then died from eating some tainted pork. (True.)
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 7 days until your Taxes are Due
• 12 days to Easter Sunday
• 15 days to Secretary’s Day
• 33 days to Mother’s Day
• 68 days to Father’s Day
• 1,018 days left of “Hope and Change”
67 years ago . . . In 1947, FRANK SINATRA punched out Lee Mortimer, amusement editor of the “New York Mirror”, after Mortimer suggested that Sinatra had been too friendly with gangsters in Havana.
Frank claimed it was because Mortimer called him a “dago”. The punch cost Sinatra $9,000 . . . but he later said, quote, “It was worth it, baby.”
40 years ago . . . In 1974, baseball superstar HANK AARON, of the Atlanta Braves, broke BABE RUTH’S lifetime home run record by hitting his 715th in a game against the L.A. Dodgers. And that was even after receiving 3,000 letters a day, much of it hate mail from racist-type honky crackers.
39 years ago . . . In 1975, FRANK ROBINSON won his first game as Major League Baseball’s FIRST BLACK MANAGER, as he led the Cleveland Indians to a 5-3 victory over the New York Yankees.
28 years ago . . . In 1986, CLINT EASTWOOD was elected mayor of Carmel, California, by a landslide.
He ran so that he could add a few stories to his building, where his bar “The Hogsbreath Inn” is located. And miraculously, after he became mayor, the board approved his project!
27 years ago . . . In 1987, A-HOLE AL CAMPANIS, vice president of player personnel for the L.A. Dodgers, resigned after making the following asinine comment on ABC’s “Nightline”: Quote, “Blacks may lack some of the necessities to become baseball managers.”
24 years ago . . . In 1990, RYAN WHITE lost his 4-and-a-half year struggle with AIDS. Ryan White was a hemophiliac who contracted the AIDS virus through a tainted blood transfusion. His mother, grandparents and ELTON JOHN were with him when he died.
Ryan White became famous in 1985 when he began a successful fight to attend the public school in Kokomo, Indiana, that had banned him because some parents were afraid their kids would catch AIDS.
20 years ago . . . In 1994, Nirvana lead singer KURT COBAIN was found dead in his Seattle home . . . after having decorated the ceiling with his brain matter three days earlier. He selfishly abandoned an innocent daughter, Frances Bean. Mindless idiots now call this coward a legend.
19 years ago . . . In 1995, NICOLAS CAGE married PATRICIA ARQUETTE on her 27th birthday. They divorced six years later, in May of 2001.
Nine years ago . . . In 2005, POPE JOHN PAUL THE SECOND’S funeral took place.