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David Letterman Is Retiring in 2015 

DAVID LETTERMAN announced that he's retiring next year on "The Late Show" last night.  There's no timetable yet.  David said, quote, "It'll be, I think, at least a year or so, but sometime in the not-too-distant future.  [In] 2015 for the love of God, in fact, Paul and I will be wrapping things up and taking a hike."

Celebrity Reactions to Letterman's Announcement 

Celebrity reactions to DAVID LETTERMAN'S retirement announcement include:  President Obama Tweeting, quote, "There are more than 10 reasons David Letterman will be missed."  And SETH MEYERS saying, "It's heartbreaking news.  I grew up on David Letterman . . . If it wasn't for [him], this show wouldn't exist.  If it wasn't for David Letterman, I wouldn't be here."

President Obama:  "There are more than 10 reasons David Letterman will be missed."

 

Seth Meyers:  "It's heartbreaking news.  I grew up on David Letterman . . . This was David Letterman's show.  If it wasn't for [him], this show wouldn't exist.  If it wasn't for David Letterman, I wouldn't be here."  (Video)

 

Jimmy Kimmel:  "David Letterman is the best there is and ever was."

 

Ellen DeGeneres:  "David Letterman announced he's retiring in 2015.  It's been 31 incredible years.  Television won't be the same without you, Dave."

 

Arsenio Hall:  "There's a tear under the CBS eye!  David Letterman . . . simply the best!!!"

 

Donald Trump:  "I can't believe David Letterman has announced his retirement . . . he's a great guy!"

 

Ricky Gervais:  "Cheers to Letterman.  A king, a king-maker, and probably the man most to blame for inflicting me on America.  See you soon."

 

Albert Brooks:  "David Letterman announces that he will retire next year.  CBS frantically looking for someone named Jimmy."

Who Will Replace David Letterman . . . Could It Be Craig Ferguson, Jon Stewart or Chelsea Handler?  

The Internet has begun speculating who may take DAVID LETTERMAN'S place.  They're complete guesses at this point, but some of the names we heard include:  Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart, Craig Ferguson, Neil Patrick Harris, Tina Fey, Jerry Seinfeld, Conan O'Brien and Jay Leno.

Are Bruce and Kris Jenner Together Again . . . Or Is Bruce Becoming a Woman and Changing His Name to Bridget? 

 

 

BRUCE and KRIS JENNER were holding hands at Los Angeles International Airport yesterday, after they returned from their family vacation in Thailand.  They were also wearing their wedding rings.

 

 

And when a paparazzi scumbag said, quote, "Look at you guys together!" . . . Bruce replied, quote, "We've BEEN together."  (Here's video and pictures.)

Selena Gomez . . . Is Orlando Bloom Hittin' That? 

 

 

Last year there were rumors that MIRANDA KERR hooked up with JUSTIN BIEBER after a fashion show in New York City . . . so it's only fitting that we're now speculating about some ORLANDO BLOOM / SELENA GOMEZ fornication.

 

 

They met recently when Selena spoke to kids at some conference, and even ended up in a picture together along with SETH ROGEN.  So as far as the Internet is concerned, they're totally doing it.

Is Tiger Woods Mad That Michael Douglas Would Invite Lindsey Vonn to His 'Dream' Dinner Party? 

The "National Enquirer" claims TIGER WOODS is jealous . . . because a fan asked MICHAEL DOUGLAS who he'd invite to "the perfect dinner party," and he listed LINDSEY VONN among several other famous people.

And a "source" told the "Enquirer" that Tiger was "furious" . . . and it's, quote, "driving him crazy."

For the record, Lindsey's reps say she's happy with Tiger, and has no romantic interest in Michael.

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

1.  (NC-17)  If you liked the first set of photos from MIRANDA KERR'S"GQ" spread, there are more.  And you'll like them just as much.

 

 

 

2.  LESLIE MANN thought she'd get sneaky and grope CAMERON DIAZ'S butt while they were getting their picture taken together.  But someone was also taking a picture from the BACKSIDE, so to speak.

 

 

 

3.  Despite reports of trouble between them, MATT BELLAMY grabbed a handful of KATE HUDSON'S butt at the beach.

 

 

 

4.  JOEY FATONE posted a Throwback Thursday photo of 'N SYNC back in 1996.  As you can tell by LANCE BASS'S face, this was pre-Proactiv.

 

 

 

5.  ALEXA RAY JOEL . . . daughter of BILLY JOEL and CHRISTIE BRINKLEY . . . looks a lot different than she did a few years ago.  But she swears all she's had done is her nose.

 

 

 

6.  MARIA SHARAPOVA is good enough at tennis that she DOESN'T need to look hot in a bikini.  That part's just gravy.

 

7.  At 65, OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN can still wear tight leather pants.

 

 

 

8.  Legendary actress DORIS DAY turned 90 yesterday, and she looks fantastic.

 

 

 

9.  Here's DAVID BECKHAM modeling his new H&M bodywear line.  Shirtless, of course.

 

Related Comedy:  (CAREFUL) . . . H&M released a new ad featuring a photo of David Beckham wearing a tiny Speedo.  Not pictured?  My arousal after seeing it.

 

 

 

10.  PAULINA GRETZKY is engaged to golfer DUSTIN JOHNSON . . . which explains why she's looking all sexy on the cover of "Golf Digest".

 

 

 

11.  Check out these GIFs of all the ways they're hiding KERRY WASHINGTON'S pregnancy on "Scandal".

 

 

 

12.  Check out pictures of MARLON BRANDO before and after his "Godfather" makeup was applied.

Did James Franco Try to Hook Up With a 17-Year-Old Girl Online . . . Or Was He Just Hyping His New Movie? 

On the same day some screen shots of an online conversation made it look like JAMES FRANCO was trying to hook up with a 17-year-old girl, the trailer for his new movie hit the web . . . in which he seduces a high school girl played by EMMA ROBERTS.  Was it all some sort of viral marketing campaign, or is that too weird even for James Franco?

(Here's the conversation.)

Lorde Doesn't Feel Like She Needs to Smile for Pictures 

 

 

LORDE doesn't always smile for pictures . . . because she doesn't always WANT to.  She says, quote, "I'm drawn to women who aren't painted in history as sweet figures.  Patti Smith was prickly.  She was frustrated.  She didn't take people's [crap].

"There's no better music idol for young women, because there is a lot of pressure for us to be really positive all the time.  Every photo shoot I do, I get asked for big smiles, and I shouldn't have to be that way."

Is Kelly Osbourne in Food Rehab? 

Rumor has it that KELLY OSBOURNE is in some sort of "food rehab," after she gained 20 pounds when her engagement to a vegan chef named Matthew Mosshart ended.  But Kelly says it's BOGUS.  She Tweeted, quote, "Must be a slow news week! . . . I have not gained 20 pounds."

 

"Captain America: The Winter Soldier" is Out Today

 

 

 

 

Captain America and the Black Widow investigate an attack on S.H.I.E.L.D., and then enlist the help of a superhero called the Falcon after the agency is compromised.

 

 

Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Samuel L. Jackson, and Cobie Smulders from "How I Met Your Mother" are all back from "The Avengers". 

 

 

If you're not a comic book nerd, the Winter Soldier isn't Captain America, it's the bad guy.  (If you'd like to remain in the dark we won't spoil it for you.  But if you're dying to know the Winter Soldier's identity, it's revealed in this video.)

 

 

Robert Redford is a high-ranking S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, Anthony Mackie is the Falcon, and Stan Lee has a cameo as the night watchman at the Smithsonian.

 

 

As usual, you'll want to stick around through the credits for two additional scenes.

 

 

(If have an itch to see more, here's an extended preview featuring an assault on an aircraft carrier.  And if you haven't had the patience to sit through the credits on every Marvel movie, you can watch ALL of their post-credit scenes here.)

2.  And now, some limited releases you may or may not care about:

 

"Under the Skin" stars Scarlett Johansson as an alien who takes on the appearance of a human and then seduces men so she can kill them.  She also gets NAKED in this movie, which is something you won't find in the Marvel universe.  (Trailer)

 

"Dom Hemingway" stars Jude Law as a violent ex-con who gets out of prison and tries to reconnect with his daughter while collecting what his boss owes him for keeping his mouth shut.  She's played by Emilia Clarke from "Game of Thrones".  (Trailer)

 

"Frankie & Alice" stars Halle Berry as a woman who finds out she has multiple personalities.  Stellan Skarsgard is her doctor, and Phylicia Rashad plays her mom.  (Trailer)

 

"In the Blood" stars MMA minx Gina Carano as a woman who has to bust some heads to get answers after her husband vanishes during their Caribbean honeymoon.  (Trailer)

 

"Alan Partridge" stars Steve Coogan as a small town radio DJ who negotiates between a gunman and the police after Colm Meaney takes the station staff hostage.  (Trailer)

 

"Jinn" is a supernatural thriller about a demonic race called the jinn who try to reclaim the earth.  One of the main characters is played by Ray Park, the guy who was Darth Maul in the "Star Wars" prequels.  (Trailer)

 

"Nymphomaniac: Volume II" . . . starring Charlotte Gainsbourg as the minx who just NEEDS it, and Shia LaBeouf as one of her sexual partners.  (Trailer)

Theatrical Releases for Next Friday, April 11th:

 

"Rio 2" . . . starring the voices of Jesse Eisenberg and Anne Hathaway.

"Draft Day" . . . starring Kevin Costner as an NFL team's general manager.

"Oculus" . . . supernatural horror starring Karen Gillan and Brenton Thwaites.

 

 

New or Coming Soon to Netflix Instant Streaming:

 

• The black version of "Steel Magnolias" with Queen Latifah and Phylicia Rhyshad.

"The Last Days on Mars" . . . a sci-fi horror thriller starring Liev Schreiber.

 

 

DVDs for Tuesday, April 8th:

 

"The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug" . . . starring Martin Freeman.

"Grudge Match" . . . starring Robert DeNiro and Sylvester Stallone.

"August Osage County" . . . starring Meryl Streep and Julia Roberts.

"Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones"

• The Justin Bieber concert movie "Believe".

 

 

Games for Tuesday, April 8th:

 

"LEGO: The Hobbit" on all the consoles and the PC.

 

 

CDs for Tuesday, April 8th:

 

"Duets", Linda Ronstadt.

"Everlasting", Martina McBride.

"SoMo", the self-titled debut of SoMo

"Catacombs of the Black Vatican", Black Label Society

"Enclosure", John Frusciante of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

And Now, Someone Has Launched a Petition to Have the Series Finale of "How I Met Your Mother" Changed 

Ever since Monday night's series finale of "How I Met Your Mother", fans have been whining about how it ended.  Well, now some people who care WAY too much are trying to do something about it.

Someone started a petition on Change.org asking that the ending be re-done.  There's not much of a plea . . . it merely says, quote, "Rewrite and reshoot the 'How I Met Your Mother' ending."

As of late last night, there were well over 11,000 signatures.  (For the current count, hit up Change.org.  You can also read through these fanatics' reasons for signing by scrolling down.)

Weekend TV Reminders:

 

This Sunday is a pretty packed night on TV.  It includes the season premieres for "Game of Thrones" and "Veep", the season finales for "Shameless" and "House of Lies", the series premieres for AMC's spy thriller "Turn" and the nerdy HBO comedy "Silicon Valley", AND this year's "Academy of Country Music Awards".

 

 

Here's the full weekend rundown . . .

 

 

"Who's Line Is It Anyway?" . . . Friday from 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on the CW.  Darren Criss from "Glee" joins guest comics Jeff Davis and Greg Proops.

 

 

"Continuum" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . Friday from 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Syfy.

 

 

"That Metal Show: Joe Satriani" . . . Saturday from 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on VH1C.

 

 

"Saturday Night Live" . . . Saturday from 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC.  Anna Kendrick hosts and Pharrell performs.

 

 

"The Academy of Country Music Awards" . . . Sunday from 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS.  Blake Shelton and Luke Bryan host.  Shakira performs with Blake . . . and Stevie Nicks performs with Lady Antebellum.  (Nominees)  (Radio Award Winners)

 

The other performers include Miranda Lambert, Keith Urban, the Band Perry, Toby Keith, Jason Aldean, Eric Church, Florida Georgia Line, and George Strait.

 

 

"Celebration of Gospel 2014" . . . Sunday from 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on BET.  "Person of Interest's" Taraji P. Henson is the host.  The performers include India.Aire, Lalah Hathaway, Chante Moore, and O'Jays singer Eddie Levert.

"GAME OF THRONES" [4th Season Premiere] . . . Sunday from 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on HBO.  (Trailer 1)  (Trailer 2)  (Trailer 3)  (Trailer 4)  (Catch the Throne)

 

 

"Turn" [Series Premiere] . . . Sunday from 9:00 to 10:30 P.M. on AMC.  A spy thriller set during the American Revolution, starring Jamie Bell as a farmer who turns his back on his father to spy on the British occupying his village.  (Trailer)

 

The guy you know as Mr. Gibbs in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies plays his father . . . and the guy who played Robert the Bruce in "Braveheart" is also in it.

 

 

"Silicon Valley" [Series Premiere] . . . Sunday from 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on HBO.  A comedy about five programmers living together while they write computer code and try to become the next startup millionaires.

 

It was created by Mike Judge from "Office Space" and "Beavis & Butthead", who actually WAS a Silicon Valley engineer back in the '80s.  (Uncensored Trailer)

 

 

"Veep" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . Sunday from 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on HBO.

 

 

"Shameless" [4th Season Finale] . . . Sunday from 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Showtime.

 

 

"House of Lies" [3rd Season Finale] . . . Sunday from 10:00 P.M. on Showtime.

 

 

"Oprah Prime" . . . Sunday from 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on OWN.  Rob Lowe.

 

 

"Lindsay" [Part 5 of 6] . . . Sunday from 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on OWN.  Her stuff arrives at her apartment and her life coach questions her sobriety.  How riveting.

 

 

"Robot Chicken DC Comics Special II: Villains in Paradise" . . . Sunday from 11:30 P.M. on Comedy Central.  Lex Luther's daughter falls in love with Superboy.  Sarah Hyland from "Modern Family" and Zac Efron do their voices.

Tonight's Late Night Talk Shows:

 

 

"The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon" - Anthony Mackie ("Captain America: The Winter Soldier"), Bill O'Reilly, and Sky Ferreira.

 

 

"Late Night with Seth Meyers" - Jason Sudeikis, Kathryn Hahn, and David Remnick.

 

 

"Letterman" - Billy Crystal, Tony Hale from "Veep", and Liv Warfield.

 

 

"Jimmy Kimmel" - Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Michael Pena.  Music Guest: London Grammar.

 

 

"Carson Daly" - Kaiser Chiefs and Noah Gundersen.  (Repeat)

 

 

"Arsenio" - Don Cheadle, Billy Dee Williams with his dance partner Emma Slater, and the a capella group Naturally 7.

 

 

"Craig Ferguson" - Alice Eve, Bojana Novakovic ("Rake"), Taylor Hicks, and Roddy Hart & the Lonesome Fire. (Repeat)

 

 

"Chelsea Lately" - Rick Ross.  (Repeat)

Five Random Facts For Friday

1.  MR. T's original set of gold chains came from people who lost them or left them after fights when he worked as a nightclub bouncer.

 

 

2.  Until 2001, the employees at Disney World who dress up as the characters couldn't wear their own underwear underneath the costumes . . . they had to wear shared underwear.  After enough pubic lice cases, Disney changed the policy.

 

 

3.  MICHAEL JACKSON really wanted to play Spider-Man in a movie, but he knew he'd never get cast . . . so in the '90s, he actually tried to BUY Marvel Comics to make it happen.

 

 

4.  The spacesuits NEIL ARMSTRONG and BUZZ ALDRIN wore to the moon in 1969 were actually designed and manufactured by . . . Playtex.  Yes, the tampon company.

 

 

5.  The person who gets credit for pushing Canada's universal health care is Tommy Douglas, a former Premier from Saskatchewan and KIEFER SUTHERLAND'S grandfather.

 

 

 

What Do You Fantasize About Regularly That Doesn't Involve Getting Rich or Having Sex?

What do you fantasize about regularly that DOESN'T involve getting rich or having sex?  A few of the most popular answers are:  Being a hero who saves a bunch of lives . . . being able to pause time . . . selling everything and traveling around the world for a while . . . and going back in time to make different life choices.

1.  Being a hero.  Getting the chance to save a bunch of people, like taking over the controls of a plane and landing it after the pilot has a heart attack.

 

2.  Having the ability to pause time.

 

3.  Selling everything and just traveling around the world for a while.

 

4.  Doing boring little relationship things with someone you're into.

 

5.  Going to space.

 

6.  Losing weight . . . or being able to eat anything and not gain weight or have any negative health effects.

 

7.  Going back in time to make different choices in life.  (Reddit)

 

Left-Handed People Have Better Sex?

 

According to a new study, left-handed people have BETTER SEX than right-handed people.  86% of left-handed people are extremely satisfied with their sex lives, versus 15% of right-handed people.  The theory is that left-handed people are forced to be more CREATIVE since the world is really created for right-handed people . . . and that creativity translates into sex.

 

Couples Are Most Likely to Argue in the Car . . . Here's Why

According to a new survey, the place couples are most likely to argue is . . . the CAR.  The four times it's most likely to happen are before or after you go shopping . . . during a date night . . . while you're on your way to visit family . . . and after a dinner out, because there's a good chance you already annoyed each other during the meal.

You Can Get Over a Breakup Faster By Switching Your Ringtone

Next time you get DUMPED, you might be able to get over it a little faster . . . by changing your RINGTONE.  And your text message alert sound too.  Your ringtone and text alert make you think of your ex . . . and that reminds you how DEPRESSED you are.  So by changing them, you get rid of that trigger.

 

The Best Way to Avoid Gaining Weight on Vacation Is . . . Tanning Every Morning?

A new study found that the best way to avoid gaining weight on vacation might be . . . TANNING in the morning.  Researchers found that getting sun in the morning helps set up your body clock to burn fat all day . . . and people who got sun in the morning put on less weight than people who got sun later in the day, or didn't go out in the sun at all.

A Court Reporter Messed Up 30 Cases by Typing "I Hate My Job" Over and Over Again

Court officials in New York have to retry 30 cases, because a 43-year-old court reporter stopped typing what the lawyers said . . . and instead typed "I hate my job" over and over again.  It turns out he's a pretty severe alcoholic, and he was fired two years ago.  But they're still dealing with the fallout.

 

5% of People Think the Malaysia Airlines Flight Was Taken by Aliens

Since that Malaysia Airlines flight still hasn't been found, people's imaginations are running wild.  In a new survey, 12% of people believe the plane was destroyed by terrorists . . . 9% think it landed safely and is in HIDING . . . 5% think it was taken by ALIENS . . . and 3% think a foreign government shot it down.

 

A Dunkin' Donuts in New York Got Shut Down After a Guy Filmed a Rat Crawling on the Donuts

The health department shut down a Dunkin' Donuts in New York yesterday . . . after a guy posted a YouTube video showing a RAT crawling across the donuts inside, and even EATING a few of them. 

 

Your Golf Glove May Be Made Out of Dog Scrotum?

Your golf glove might be made out of DOG SCROTUM.  Apparently, several manufacturers in China and Vietnam use DOG TESTICLE to make golf gloves, because the leather is extremely soft.  So far there isn't a list of specific companies that use dog scrotum for their gloves.

A Teenage Girl Tried to Get Her Phone Out of a Storm Drain . . . and Got Trapped Up to her Waist

A 16-year-old girl in England accidentally dropped her phone into a storm drain on Wednesday . . . then tried to climb down to get it.  But it was too narrow and she got stuck halfway in.  The fire department had to rescue her, and she was okay . . . but her phone was destroyed.

An Employee at an Apartment Complex for Seniors Mistakes a Dead Body For an April Fools Prank . . . and Throws It in a Dumpster

A 61-year-old was working at an apartment complex for seniors in Florida on April 1st, and found a BODY on the ground.  But he figured it was a mannequin from an April Fools prank . . . so he threw it in a DUMPSTER.  Turns out it was a 96-year-old woman who'd jumped 16 stories and killed herself the night before.  The guy was fired.

Jamie Lynn Spears is 23.  No longer an unwed mother.  She got married last month.

 

 

Amanda Righetti is 31.  The well-chested Grace Van Pelt on "The Mentalist".

 

 

James Roday is 38.  Shawn the "psychic" detective on "Psych".

 

 

Dave Mirra is 40.  BMX superstar and the host of MTV's "Real World / Road Rules Challenge:  The Inferno", seasons one and two.

 

 

David Blaine is 41.  Freaky street magician.  He used to make his ding-a-ling disappear . . . inside Fiona Apple!  HI-YO!  You need more than smoke and mirrors to make the comedy disappear!

 

 

Jill Scott is 42.  I stopped asking "Who is Jill Scott?" after she won a Grammy in 2005 for "Cross My Mind".  I also sliced off a piece of myself admiring her succulent curves in Tyler Perry's "Why Did I Get Married" movies.  What?  I'm a chubby chaser, you know.

 

 

Mattress actress Rebecca Wild is 42.  She's starred in 267 fine films, including . . . "Battlestar Orgasmica", "Booty & The Ho' Fish", "Sleeping with Seattle" AND "Spermacus".

Magnus Sveningsson is 42.  The Cardigans bassist.

Nancy McKeon is 48.  JO POLNIAZEK ON "THE FACTS OF LIFE"!  She also played Connie Monroe on the Disney Channel show "Sonny with a Chance".

 

 

(Nancy's brother, Philip McKeon, played Alice's son Tommy on that old sitcom "Alice".  Your mom would probably know what I'm talking about.)

 

 

Robert Downey Jr. is 49.  He's Iron Man AND Sherlock Holmes.

 

 

Robbie Rist is 50.  Cousin Oliver on "The Brady Bunch" . . . AND the voice of Michelangelo in the old-school, live-action "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movies.

David Cross is 50.  "Arrested Development" superstar, formerly of "Mr. Show" and the ONLY good thing about those "Alvin and the Chipmunks" movies . . . even though he HATED doing them.  (He actually began his career as a writer for "The Ben Stiller Show".)

Tom Byron is 53.  Well-hung pornographic he-whore who has starred in 2,733 fine films, including . . . "Whore of the Worlds", "Thrill Street Blues", "For Your Thighs Only", "Midget on Milligan's Island" AND "Single White She-Male".

 

 

Hugo Weaving is 54.  Elrond the Elf King in the "Lord of the Rings" and "Hobbit" movies . . . Agent Smith in the "Matrix" movies . . . Megatron in the "Transformers" movies . . . and The Red Skull in the first "Captain America" movie.

 

 

David E. Kelley is 58.  Superstar writer-producer of "Ally McBeal", "The Practice", "Boston Legal" and "Boston Public".  But his greatest accomplishment, by far, is GETTING TO NAIL MICHELLE PFEIFFER ANYTIME HE WANTS TO!

 

 

Steve Gatlin is 63.  The Gatlin Brothers.

 

 

Craig T. Nelson is 70.  He IS "Coach".  Somehow, he got to be the voice of Mr. Incredible in "The Incredibles".  Also the dad in "Poltergeist".  RUN TO THE LIGHT, CAROL ANNE!  Now he's the dad on NBC's "Parenthood".

 

 

Mr. Clive Davis is 82.  Deliciously BISEXUAL music industry mogul who sometimes beefs with Kelly Clarkson.

Estelle Harris is 86.  Mrs. Costanza on "Seinfeld" and Mrs. Potato Head in the "Toy Story" movies.

 

 

DICK LUGAR! is 82.  Indiana Senator with an amazing name.  DICK LUGAR!

 

 

Maya Angelou is 86.  She is Oprah's mentor . . . a very sexy author [slash] poet.

 

 

Heath Ledger  (1979 - 2008)  Oscar-winning dead guy.  He would have been 35 today.  DON'T MIX PRESCRIPTION MEDS!

 

 

"Psycho" star Anthony Perkins  (1932 - 1992)

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• 2 days to "Game of Thrones"

• 2 days until the ACM Awards

• 11 days until your Taxes are Due

• 16 days to Easter Sunday

• 37 days to Mother's Day

• 1,022 days left of "Hope and Change"

173 years ago . . . In 1841, America's 9th president, WILLIAM HENRY HARRISON, succumbed to pneumonia just ONE MONTH after his inauguration, becoming the first U.S. president to DIE IN OFFICE.

 

112 years ago . . . In 1902, the RHODES SCHOLARSHIP began when Cecil Rhodes left $10 MILLION in his will to fund non-British students studying at Oxford University in England.

(Famous Rhodes Scholars include chubby-chasing BILLY CLINTON, NBA star [slash] Senator [slash] heart attack machine BILL BRADLEY, AND . . . KRIS KRISTOFFERSON.)

 

 

50 years ago . . . In 1964, THE BEATLES made music history by holding the TOP FIVE spots on "Billboard's" Hot 100 chart with:  #1.)  "Can't Buy Me Love", #2.)  "Twist & Shout", #3.)  "She Loves You", #4.)  "I Want to Hold Your Hand" and #5.)  "Please Please Me".

In case you're wondering, #6 was "Suspicion", by Elvis-soundalike, TERRY STAFFORD.

46 years ago . . . In 1968, DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. was shot and killed on the balcony of a Memphis hotel.  Riots broke out in over 100 American cities, leaving 39 dead.

JAMES BROWN went on national television to urge restraint . . . then he went home and beat his wife.  KIDDING!  But, you KNOW Brother James was thinking about it.

45 years ago . . . In 1969, "Star Trek" was canceled by NBC after 79 brilliant, cutting-edge and underappreciated episodes.

 

 

39 years ago . . . In 1975, MICROSOFT was founded as a partnership between BILL GATES and PAUL ALLEN in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

 

 

33 years ago . . . In 1981, HENRY CISNEROS became the first elected MEXICAN-AMERICAN MAYOR of a major U.S. city (San Antonio, Texas).

 

 

22 years ago . . . In 1992, "Entertainment Tonight" superstar host JOHN TESH married stunning B-list actress CONNIE SELLECCA.

 

 

21 years ago . . . In 1993, at "Wrestlemania 9", BRET "THE HITMAN" HART put chubby YOKOZUNA into a Sharpshooter . . . but after Yoko's manager, MR. FUJI, threw salt in Bret's eyes, Yoko rolled on top of The Hitman and won the WWF Title.

 

 

(His title reign lasted approximately two minutes . . . because HULK HOGAN ran down to the ring, took up a challenge from Mr. Fuji and pinned Yokozuna.)

 

 

Eight years ago . . . In 2006, Vikings quarterback DAUNTE CULPEPPER dodged the proverbial bullet when all charges against him were dropped due to lack of evidence for his part in the Minnesota Vikings SEX BOAT scandal.

 

 

(A lot of players chartered a boat and allegedly got nasty with STRIPPERS OF QUESTIONABLE VIRTUE . . . and, perhaps, with women on the boat's crew.)

 

 

Seven years ago . . . In 2007, DON IMUS called the Rutgers University women's basketball team "nappy-headed hos" on the air.  He was eventually fired from CBS Radio and MSNBC because of the remark.

 

 

Six years ago . . . In 2008, BEYONCÉ married JAY-Z at his apartment New York City.

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