Your daily dose of Whatever!!
Lupita Nyong’o Tops “People” Magazine’s Most Beautiful List
LUPITA NYONG’O tops “People” magazine’s Most Beautiful list. She says that when she was young, she equated beauty with what she saw on TV . . . quote, “light skin and long, flowing, straight hair.” But she adds, quote, “[My mother] always said I was beautiful. And I finally believed her at some point.”
Jodie Foster is Gay Married!
Without anybody knowing it was coming, JODIE FOSTER and her partner Alexandra Hedison snuck off and got GAY MARRIED this past weekend. We don’t have any details, but Jodie’s rep confirmed it to E! Online.
Alexandra is a photographer, and the daughter of actor DAVID HEDISON, the star of the original, 1958 version of “The Fly”. (True!!!)
She also spent her time between 2001 and 2004 FEVERISHLY SCISSORING ELLEN DEGENERES. (Here are some pictures of Jodie and Alexandra.)
Check Out These Awesome Pictures of Julia Louis-Dreyfus Having Sex With a Clown
JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS is funny AND sexy. And she puts both of those attributes to work for her in a new spread for “GQ” in which she HAS SEX WITH A CLOWN . . . then gives birth to a CLOWN BABY.
It’s a classic . . . and somehow, the picture of the CLOWN COITUS is way more erotic than it has any right to be . . . even with Julia wearing a CLOWN NOSE. (Check out the pics here.)
Has Kristen Stewart Gone the Way of the Gay?
KRISTEN STEWART has reportedly found love again . . . with a FEMALE friend. Her name is Alicia Cargile, and she was there to pick up the pieces after Kristen got DUMPED by ROBERT PATTINSON.
But Alicia did more than just pick up the pieces. She HAD SEX WITH THEM. (???) They recently went to a resort in Palm Springs together, and a source says, quote, “She put her arms around Kristen’s neck and Kristen put her hands on her waist.
“After about 30 seconds, Kristen started laughing, kissed Alicia right on the lips then rested her head on Alicia’s chest and hugged her tight. It was totally hot!” (Here are some INNOCENT pics of Kristen and Alicia together.)
Olivia Wilde Had Her Baby
OLIVIA WILDE and JASON SUDEIKIS are officially parents. Olivia actually gave birth to a baby boy on Sunday, but they didn’t announce it until yesterday. They named him Otis.
Olivia Tweeted a picture of herself with her new baby, and captioned it, quote, “Ladies and gentlemen, Otis Alexander Sudeikis has LEFT the building! (I’m the building).”
Sexy Pictures of Famous People
1. At KENDRA WILKINSON’S baby shower, somebody gave her a TUPAC onesie.
2. JAMES FRANCO posted a picture of himself in bed with one of the stars of “Pretty Little Liars”. One of the MALE stars. KEEGAN ALLEN, to be exact.
3. New York Knicks President PHIL JACKSON is packing on the pounds.
4. COURTENEY COX and her boyfriend were spotted in an airport . . . and it looked like she was wearing an engagement ring.
5. DEMI LOVATO posted a makeup-free selfie.
6. JENNA FISCHER’S baby bump is huge . . . and so are her boobs.
7. Here’s MADONNA, trying to be sexy again.
Alicia Silverstone’s New Parenting Book Rails Against the Evils of Diapers and Tampons
ALICIA SILVERSTONE has a new parenting book, and it’s as loopy as you’d expect. Alicia rails against diapers, tampons and a non-plant-based diet, which according to her fills the uterus with TOXIC SLUDGE. She’s also anti-vaccine, and thinks kids and parents should sleep together in a “family bed.”
Joan Rivers Won’t Apologize for Making a Joke About the Ariel Castro Kidnapping Victims
JOAN RIVERS made a joke on the “Today” show yesterday . . . comparing the living arrangements on her reality show to that of the Ariel Castro kidnapping victims, who were raped and tortured for a decade before escaping last year. Lawyers for two of the women demanded an apology, but Joan said there was nothing to apologize for, because it was a joke and she’s a comedienne.
Meg Ryan Will Voice the Narrator on the “How I Met Your Mother” Spin-Off
It seems like MEG RYAN hasn’t done anything in forever. The last time I remember seeing her in something, email was still new and exciting . . . and we hadn’t yet been subjected to the second “Star Wars” trilogy.
But that’s about to change . . . kind of.
Meg has been cast on the upcoming “How I Met Your Mother” spin-off, “How I Met Your Dad”. But she’s going to be the NARRATOR . . . so we won’t have to look at her plastic surgery-ravaged face.
Meg will be playing the “future” version of the main character, Sally . . . telling her kids how she met their dad. It’s like how BOB SAGET voiced “future Ted” on “How I Met Your Mother” . . . and was never actually on-screen.
Thursday TV Reminders:
• The sixth season finale of “Parks & Recreation” . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC.
• “American Idol” [Results Show] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on Fox.
• The series premiere of “Bad Teacher” . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS. Ari Graynor plays a divorced trophy wife who takes a teaching job to try to land a husband from one of the rich divorced dads picking up their kids.
Sara Gilbert, Kristin Davis, and Ryan Hansen from “Veronica Mars” play some of the other teachers and David Alan Grier is the school principal.
• The series premiere of “Black Box” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. Kelly Reilly plays a neurological expert who’s also bipolar herself. You may know her as the mom in “Heaven is For Real” or as Watson’s wife in the “Sherlock Holmes” movies.
* The series finale of “Chicagoland” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CNN.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon” – James Van Der Beek and Dr. Phil. Music Guests: Steven Tyler, Joe Perry, and Australian singer Courtney Barnett.
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” – Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann, MSNBC’s Ronan Farrow, and comedian Gary Gulman.
• “Letterman” – Neil Patrick Harris, Sarah Hyland, and Ray LaMontagne.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Julie Bowen, Dave Attell, and Cut Copy.
• “Carson Daly” – “Rolling Stone” journalist Matt Taibbi, and “Locke” director Steven Knight. Music Guest: Tinariwen.
• “Arsenio” – Taraji P. Henson and Earth Wind & Fire.
• “Conan” – Mel Brooks and Langhorne Slim. (Repeat)
• “Craig Ferguson” – Zoe Lister-Jones from “Friends with Better Lives” and Emily Deschanel.
• “Chelsea Lately” – Ian Somerhalder sits down with guest host Mary McCormack.
• “Jon Stewart” – Indian historian Ramachandra Guha.
• “The Colbert Report” – Author George Saunders.
Five Random Facts For Thursday
1. The first Wrigley Field wasn’t in Chicago . . . a baseball park in Los Angeles called Wrigley Field opened in 1925. The Cubs’ stadium was called Cubs Park at that point, but changed its name to Wrigley Field in 1926. The L.A. one was torn down in 1969.
2. 80% of people with herpes don’t know they have it.
3. People upload 72 hours of new video to YouTube every single minute. We also share 2.46 million things on Facebook and buy $83,000 worth of stuff from Amazon every minute.
4. When Pixar was editing “Toy Story 2″, someone managed to accidentally DELETE a huge chunk of the movie. They miraculously found a backup though . . . an employee on maternity leave had saved it so she could work on it at home.
5. Graffiti is plural. The singular form of the word is graffito.
The 10 Things Real Men Never Do . . . Like Drinking Coconut Rum, Wearing Bright-Colored Pants, and Tweeting
A British magazine just released a list of the top things a MODERN GENTLEMAN never does. Some of the highlights are: Wear a pre-tied bowtie . . . drink Malibu coconut rum . . . buy bright-colored pants . . . and tweet.
1. Wear a pre-tied bowtie.
2. Drink Malibu coconut rum.
3. Buy bright-colored pants.
5. Put product in his hair.
6. Write with a cheap ballpoint pen.
7. Forget his wristwatch.
8. Walk out on a play.
9. Own a cat.
10. Finish his food before everyone else. (Country Life)
Over Half of Women Are More Likely to Date Someone with a Pet . . . and So Are 38% of Men
55% of women and 38% of men say they’re more likely to date someone who has a PET. And dogs were rated as the MOST attractive pet you can have by far. 20% of women said they’d be more likely to date a guy who has a CAT, but only 5% of men said the same about women. The LEAST attractive pet you can have is a spider.
42% of the Guys Who Drive Expensive Cars Have Small Junk
Men who drive fancy cars really ARE overcompensating for something. A new survey asked women who are dating or married to guys with expensive cars to describe the size of their junk. Only 12% said the guy is above average . . . and 42% said the guy’s package is SMALLER THAN AVERAGE.
Scientists Have Figured Out Why Women Are So Attracted to Rock Stars
Scientists in England finally figured out why women are more attracted to rock stars. It’s because musical ability is a sign of good genetics. And when women are at the most fertile points in their cycle, they really want to get-it-on with musicians . . . even if it’s just a one-time thing.
A Guy Charged $135,000 at a Strip Club But Says He Doesn’t Remember Doing It Because He Was Drugged . . . All Four Times He Went
A 41-year-old cardiologist spent $135,000 over four nights at a strip club in New York last year. But afterwards, he claimed he’d never been to the club, and that he must’ve been DRUGGED and taken there . . . ALL FOUR TIMES. He contested the charges on his credit card and refused to pay . . . so now the club is suing him.
70% of People Threw Away Any Attempt to Eat Healthy or Diet Over Easter Weekend
A new survey found that 70% of people threw out ANY attempts to eat healthy or diet over Easter weekend. 75% of people ate at least four chocolate eggs . . . and 35% had at least 10 alcoholic drinks.
The Honeymoon Period Ends After Two-and-a-Half Years of Marriage
A new study figured out when the HONEYMOON PERIOD ends in a marriage . . . exactly two-and-a-half years after you get married. That’s when the passion starts cooling down for most people. And most people are still happy and settle in . . . but 14% of men and 10% of women say that 30-month mark is when they got extremely UNHAPPY in their marriages.
Kelly Clarkson is 32. One of the “American Idol” contestants who made it big.
Danny Gokey is 34. One of the “American Idol” contestants who didn’t.
Sasha Barrese is 33. Tracy, Doug’s wife and Alan’s sister in “The Hangover” movies.
Tyson Ritter is 30. Gorgeous lead singer of The All American Rejects.
Rebecca Mader is 37. The green-skinned Wicked Witch on “Once Upon a Time”. She was also pretty annoying as Charlotte the redhead on “Lost”.
Damon Lindelof is 41. “Lost” co-creator who also helped write “Prometheus” and “Star Trek Into Darkness”. He’s one of the guys behind HBO’s upcoming show “The Leftovers”, which is about a group of people left behind after the Rapture.
Derek Luke is 40. He WAS “Antwone Fisher”. He’s the Puff Daddy in “Notorious”.
Melinda Clarke is 45. Julie Cooper-Nichol on “The O.C.” and the sexy dominatrix Lady Heather on “CSI”.
Rory McCann is 45. “The Hound”, the disfigured guy on “Game of Thrones”.
Aidan Gillen is 46. The conniving Petyr Baelish on “Game of Thrones”. He’s the guy who betrayed Ned Stark to the Lannisters.
Cedric The Entertainer is 50.
Djimon Hounsou is 50. You pronounce his name: Jie-mon Hahn-soo. He’s the mantastic Nubian from “Gladiator”, “Constantine” and “Blood Diamond”. He’ll play one of the guys chasing the guardians in “Guardians of the Galaxy”.
Doug Clifford is 69. Drummer for the Creedence Clearwater Revival. He’s THE Cosmo from the Creedence album “Cosmo’s Factory”.
Barbra Streisand is 72. Has nailed or allegedly nailed Andre Agassi, Warren Beatty, Prince Charles, Bill Clinton, Dodi Fayed, Richard Gere, Elliott Gould, Don Johnson, Kris Kristofferson, Steve McQueen, Liam Neeson, Ryan O’Neal and Omar Sharif. Not to mention her husband, James Brolin.
Shirley MacLaine is 80. Recently revealed that she once had sex with three dudes in one day. But she never gave it up to Jack Nicholson . . . because he was too dangerous for her.
Paula Yates (1959 – 2000) O.D.’d and orphaned Michael Hutchence’s baby daughter, Heavenly Hiraani Tigerlily. Peaches, her daughter with Bob Geldof, died unexpectedly earlier this month at the age of 25. There’s still no word on the cause of death.
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 8 days to Spider Man 2
• 17 days to Mother’s Day
• 29 days to Days of Future Past
• 29 days to Memorial Day Weekend
• 52 days to Father’s Day
• 1,002 days left of “Hope and Change”
214 years ago . . . In 1800, the LIBRARY OF CONGRESS was established with a $5,000 allocation “for the purchase of such books as may be necessary”. The library now contains 30 MILLION books on more than 530 MILES of shelves.
47 years ago . . . In 1967, in Game 5 of the Eastern Division championships, the Philadelphia 76ers, led by WILT CHAMBERLAIN, ended the Boston Celtics’ EIGHT-YEAR run of consecutive NBA titles, beating them, 125-to-122.
46 years ago . . . In 1968, the Beatles-owned Apple Records refused to sign DAVID BOWIE.
44 years ago . . . In 1970, GRACE SLICK of JEFFERSON AIRPLANE was invited by TRICIA NIXON to have tea at the White House.
Grace said she’d go . . . just so she could lace TRICKY DICK NIXON’S tea with the LSD . . . but she pulled out at the last minute when her escort, ABBIE HOFFMAN, wasn’t allowed on the White House grounds.
40 years ago . . . In 1974, DAVID BOWIE’S “Diamond Dogs” LP came out in stores with a CENSORED COVER. The original one featured Bowie as a dog, with hung genitalia displayed.
30 years ago . . . In 1984, 48-year-old JERRY LEE LEWIS married his SIXTH WIFE . . . 22-YEAR-OLD Kerrie McCarver. (They divorced in June of 2005.)
25 years ago . . . In 1989, Massachusetts declared “NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK DAY”!!! I STILL celebrate it, no matter what state I’m in.
22 years ago . . . In 1992, DAVID BOWIE married Nubian tigress IMAN.
20 years ago . . . In 1994, LOU DIAMOND PHILLIPS married his second wife, KELLY PHILLIPS. (They divorced in February of 2005.)
Nine years ago . . . In 2005, NICK NOLTE’S 18-year-old son, BRAWLEY KING NOLTE, was arrested on felony pot charges after getting caught with 70 GRAMS OF MARIJUANA.