Your daily dose of Whatever!!
“The Hunger Games” Won Three MTV Movie Awards . . . And Zac Efron Took His Shirt Off
“The Hunger Games: Catching Fire” was the big winner last night at the “MTV Movie Awards”. It won Best Movie, and Josh Hutcherson and Jennifer Lawrence won Best Male and Female Performance, respectively. The show was pretty tame, although Rita Ora did rip off Zac Efron’s shirt while he was accepting his award for Best Shirtless Performance.
Best On-Screen Transformation: Jared Leto, “Dallas Buyers Club”
Best Comedic Performance: Jonah Hill, “The Wolf of Wall Street”
Best Villain: Mila Kunis, “Oz, The Great and Powerful”
Best Kiss: Emma Roberts, Jennifer Aniston and Will Poulter, “We’re the Millers”
Best Fight: Orlando Bloom and Evangeline Lilly, “The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug”
Meanwhile, Channing Tatum received the Trailblazer Award, and Mark Wahlberg was given the Generation Award, which he referred to as, quote, “The ‘You’re Too [Effing] Old to Come Back’ Award.”
Kate Upton Wishes Twice a Day She Had Smaller Boobs
KATE UPTON wishes she had smaller boobs . . . quote, “I love to wear spaghetti tops braless or go for the smallest bikini designs . . . If I could just take them off like they were clip-ons. Every single day, I’m like, ‘Oh, man, it would be so much easier,’ especially if people didn’t constantly bring them up.” But she adds, quote, “The grass is always greener, as they say.”
Sofia Vergara Would Like You to Know She Has a Great Ass, Too
I don’t know what it is with all the BREAST HATE this morning, but in addition to KATE UPTON, SOFIA VERGARA is also throwing shade on her DIRTY PILLOWS.
She tells “Women’s Health” magazine, quote, “I’ve always been known for my boobs, but it pisses me off, because I do also have a great ass!”
Johnny Depp Wants to Have Babies with Amber Heard
JOHNNY DEPP is 50 and has two kids. But his fiancée AMBER HEARD is 27 with no kids. So if she wants any of her own, he’s only happy to oblige . . . especially since the “making” part is so much fun.
He says, quote, “As far as having more kids, it’s easy for me, and Amber should have the opportunity to have kids if she wants. Let’s face it, practicing for it is fun and it’s all wonderful.
“I love kids. I have two and they’re perfect. Man, I’d make a hundred.”
Sexy Pictures of Famous People
1. YES OR NO? 67-year-old CHER unveiled a new stage outfit. Did she pull it off?
2. MINNIE DRIVER is in fine bikini shape for a 44-year-old mom. But not everyone agrees. After these and other paparazzi pics surfaced, Minnie took enough flak online that she decided to quit Twitter for a while.
She said, quote, “God some people are horrible: you try being photographed when you don’t know it’s happening . . . I’m out of this Twittersphere for a while. It’s too mean sometimes.”
3. LADY GAGA did a cool photo shoot as a ’70s rock chick. She looks like a young STEVIE NICKS, or one of the girls from HEART back in the day.
4. (NC-17) If you’re a fan of LAKE BELL, then you MUST check out the new issue of “Esquire”. She gets all manner of sexy in it, and even shows some nipple.
5. STEVEN TYLER’S daughter MIA got an ULTIMATE WARRIOR tribute tattoo.
Miley Cyrus Made $76.5 Million Last Year?
Just in case there was any doubt . . . SEX SELLS. “Parade” magazine reports that MILEY CYRUS’ questionably sexy but unquestionably sleazy 2013 earned her $76.5 million. And “Fifty Shades of Grey” author E.L. JAMES somehow made an estimated $51.7 million.
Beyoncé made $57 million in 2013 . . . a year that, for her, culminated in the release of a surprise album.
Bruno Mars earned $38 million in the run-up to his halftime performance at the Super Bowl. Bruno wasn’t paid for the Super Bowl . . . halftime performers never are.
Sandra Bullock made $63 million with the help of her two latest movies, “The Heat” and “Gravity”. And Matthew McConaughey, who has been everywhere, earned $19 million.
Chris Hemsworth pulled down $58 million . . . way more than his brother Liam Hemsworth, who only made $1.75 million.
“Live with Kelly and Michael” co-host Michael Strahan made $9 million. He’s also an analyst for “NFL on Fox”.
Reviled “Bachelor” Juan Pablo Galavis made $150,000.
Daniel Radcliffe made $17 million, which includes his paycheck for the upcoming “Frankenstein” movie. Daniel is playing Igor. The movie has already been filmed, but it won’t come out until October of NEXT year.
Steve Harvey raked in $30 million. That includes his talk show and his “Family Feud” hosting gig.
Tyler Perry earned $78 million . . . and believe it or not, “Fifty Shades of Grey” author E.L. James somehow made an estimated $51.7 million.
Gisele Bundchen Says the IRS Audited Her After She Topped a List of the Highest-Paid Models
GISELE BUNDCHEN says the “Forbes” lists of the World’s Highest-Paid Models got her in trouble with the IRS. She says, quote, “The people who write these things don’t have my bank account details. I do OK, I earn plenty, but not as much as they say. I’ve already been audited by the IRS because of this list.”
“Captain America” Held Off “Rio 2″ and the Weekend’s Other New Releases
“Captain America: The Winter Soldier” is spending its second week on top of the box office after narrowly beating “Rio 2″. The “Captain America” sequel made another $41.4 million this weekend to the $39 million made by the “Rio” sequel.
The supernatural horror movie “Oculus” took 3rd place with $12 million . . . but KEVIN COSTNER’S “Draft Day” had a weak opening, earning just $9.8 million in 4th place.
Here are this week’s Top 10 movies:
1. “Captain America: The Winter Soldier”, $41.4 million. Up to $159 million in its 2nd week.
2. (NEW) “Rio 2″, $39 million . . . almost exactly what the first “Rio” opened with.
3. (NEW) “Oculus”, $12 million.
4. (NEW) “Draft Day”, $9.8 million.
5. “Divergent”, $7.5 million. Up to $125 million in its 4th week.
6. “Noah”, $7.45 million. Up to $84.9 million in its 3rd week.
7. “God’s Not Dead”, $5.5 million. Up to $40.7 million in its 4th week.
8. “The Grand Budapest Hotel”, $4.1 million. Up to $39.5 million in its 6th week.
9. “Muppets Most Wanted”, $2.2 million. Up to $45.7 million in its 4th week.
10. “Mr. Peabody & Sherman”, $1.8 million. Up to $105 million in its 6th week.
The Last Book of the Divergent Series is Being Split Into Two Movies
The third and final book in the “Divergent” series, “Allegiant”, is being split into TWO movies. In explaining the decision, producers name-checked two other young-adult series that did the same thing: “Twilight” and “The Hunger Games”. But they claim they’re doing it for artistic reasons, as opposed to financial ones.
Are There Really 59 Things That Happen on Every Episode of “Mad Men”?
Someone has put together a list of “59 Things That Happen on Every Episode of ‘Mad Men’,” which is really just a list of the show’s clichés. It includes jokes about how much drinking is shown, and this: Quote, “Don Draper will sleep with whoever is his wife . . . Don will also sleep with someone who is not his wife.”
1. “Sterling Cooper & Partners will pick up a client . . . Sterling Cooper & Partners will lose a client.”
2. “Don Draper will sleep with whoever is his wife . . . Don will also sleep with someone who is not his wife.”
3. “Joan Harris will do that sexy strut through the office.”
4. “Roger Sterling will walk into someone’s office, probably Don’s, and pour himself a drink . . . Don will have an old fashioned . . . Actually, he’ll have several.”
5. “Peggy Olson will eat a sandwich from the snack cart.”
6. “Roger will pull out a roll of money from his pocket and pay someone to do something for him.”
7. “Everyone’s immediate knee-jerk reaction to even a minor problem is to drink.”
8. “Sally Draper will get into trouble.”
9. “A lot of drama will go down in the office elevators . . . Actually, like half of the show happens in the Sterling Cooper & Partners elevators.”
10. “Some old song will play at the end of the episode and over the credits, leaving you scrambling to decipher the meaning it has to what you just saw.”
(Buzzfeed.com has the complete list.)
Monday TV Reminders:
• “Dancing with the Stars” . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. Donny Osmond guest judges as the contestants dance to Disney songs from movies like “Frozen”, “The Lion King”, and “Aladdin”. Donny was a contestant on the ninth season.
• “The Voice” . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC. The Top 20 artists perform.
• “Warehouse 13″ [5th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Syfy.
• “Mom” [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS.
• “Bam’s Bad Ass Game Show” [Series Premiere] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on TBS. Skateboarder Bam Margera created this show where people compete in “Jackass”-type challenges for a $10,000 prize.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon” – Will Smith and U2. (Repeat)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” – Kanye West and Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson. (Repeat)
• “Letterman” – Emma Watson, Nick Offerman, and the Strypes. (Repeat)
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Jason Bateman, Katie Lowes, and John Legend. (Repeat)
• “Carson Daly” – Jon Daly. Plus: The Flaming Lips and Zoe Bell. (Repeat)
• “Arsenio” – Russell Simmons, Mo’Nique, Tony Rock, Black Ice, and DJ Battlecat. (Repeat)
• “Conan” – Mindy Kaling, Colin Hanks, and MGMT.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Dominic Monaghan and Brooklyn Decker.
• “Chelsea Lately” – Comedy Central’s Amy Schumer.
• “Jon Stewart” – Baseball and election analyst Nate Silver. (Repeat)
• “The Colbert Report” – Facebook chief operating officer Sheryl Sandberg. (Repeat)
Five Random Facts For Monday
1. QUENTIN TARANTINO did a rewrite on the movie “It’s Pat”. Yes, the “SNL” movie about the character with the unknown gender. He was paid for the rewrite but it was uncredited.
2. For the past five years, Spirit Airlines has averaged three to nine times more complaints than any other airline.
3. The Bugatti Veyron sports car has a top speed of 254 miles-per-hour . . . and at that speed, it gets three miles-per-gallon.
4. One of the key ingredients in a lot of dryer sheets is . . . BEEF FAT. The dryer sheets are coated in beef fat to help make the clothes softer.
5. There’s a slot machine that’s been at the MGM Grand casino in Vegas for 20 years . . . and no one has ever hit the jackpot. Because it’s a progressive slot machine where the jackpot grows, it’s now up over $2.3 million.
If You Take Naps, You’re Going to Die
A huge new study found that if you take a lot of naps . . . YOU’RE GONNA DIE. People who take naps are almost 33% more likely to die before age 65 than people who don’t . . . mainly from respiratory illnesses. If you find yourself needing a lot of naps, it’s probably worth going to a doctor . . . it could be an undiagnosed breathing problem.
Your Chances of Getting Audited Are the Lowest in 25 Years
Good news, unethical people. Your odds of getting AUDITED this year are the lowest they’ve been in at least 25 years. The IRS has undergone some serious budget cuts, so they’ll have fewer agents auditing returns this year than any year since the ’80s.
Facebook Isn’t Actually Flooded With Baby Photos . . . It’s Just Your Imagination
You THINK Facebook has been overtaken by parents posting about their babies . . . but it’s not true. A study just found that new mothers make HALF as many posts after they have a baby than before the baby . . . and less than 30% of the posts mention the baby.
A Guy Drizzled Melted Gummy Bears on His Wife to Spice Things Up . . . and Gave Her Third-Degree Burns
A couple in Tennessee wanted to spice up their sex life . . . and for some reason they decided to melt a giant cherry GUMMY BEAR, and DRIZZLE it on each other. But they didn’t give it time to cool down . . . so when the guy drizzled it on his girlfriend, she wound up having to go to the emergency room with THIRD-DEGREE BURNS.
. (The Tennessean)
A Guy Is Suing His Ex-Girlfriend For Making Him Take Her Stuffed Animal on Their Dates
A guy in China just got out of a four-year relationship with a 22-year-old woman . . . who made him bring her STUFFED SNOOPY along on dates. And the guy had to treat Snoopy like a person and buy him meals and movie tickets. They broke up when he refused to take Snoopy to the bathroom with him . . . so now he’s suing his ex for $6,450 for mental anguish and compensation for what he spent.
Abigail Breslin is 18. The cute little girl from “Little Miss Sunshine” and “Signs” who was also an ass-kicking junior zombie killer in “Zombieland”, a ghost in “Haunter”, and Ender’s sister in the sci-fi movie “Ender’s Game”.
Mattress actress Kristina Rose is 30. She’s starred in 509 fine films, including “XXX Avengers”, “The Honeymoaners”, and Elaina in the “Seinfeld XXX Parody”.
Claire Coffee is 34. The hot blonde witch Adalind Schade on “Grimm”.
Sarah Michelle Gellar is 37. “Buffy” and “The Crazy Ones”. She gets to nail Freddie Prinze Jr. ANYTIME SHE WANTS TO!
Adrien Brody is 41. Strange looking leading man from “King Kong”, “Predators”, and “The Pianist”.
ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL! is 46. ’80s SUPERSTAR from “Sixteen Candles”, “Weird Science”, “The Breakfast Club” and “National Lampoon’s Vacation”!
At age 17, he became the youngest “Saturday Night Live” cast member ever . . . until he had to enter rehab. In his post-Brat Pack years, he was Winona Ryder’s boyfriend in “Edward Scissorhands” and THE star of “The Dead Zone”.
Greg Maddux is 48. Retired Major League Baseball pitching legend. He was elected into the Baseball Hall of Fame back in January in his first year of eligibility.
Mike Fleiss is 50. Second cousin of Heidi Fleiss . . . and the hack who’s responsible for most of the worst shows in reality TV . . . including “The Bachelor”, “Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?”, “Are You Hot?” . . .
. . . “Superstar USA”, “The Will”, “The Starlet” and “The Real Gilligan’s Island”.
Robert Carlyle is 53. Rumplestiltskin on “Once Upon a Time”. He was also brilliant as Dr. Rush on the severely underrated “Stargate Universe”.
Brad Garrett is 54. 6-foot-8 Robert Barone on “Everybody Loves Raymond” . . . and the first Grand Prize winner on “STAR SEARCH”.
Brian Forster is 54. The SECOND Chris on “The Partridge Family”. He’s also the great-great-great-grandson of Charles Dickens. (True)
Ritchie Blackmore is 69. Former Deep Purple guitarist. If you dig Renaissance music . . . and hey, who doesn’t? . . . Ritchie now performs in a band called Blackmore’s Night . . . with his super-sexy young wife as his lead singer.
Pete Rose is 73. Hall of Famer. Well, WWE Hall of Famer, anyway. (True! Screw Major League Baseball!)
Loretta Lynn is 82. Think Jack White nailed her? Me too.
Rod Steiger (1925 – 2002) Won an Oscar as the honky sheriff in “In the Heat of the Night“. His co-star was some guy named Sidney Poitier.
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 1 day until Taxes are Due
• 6 days to Easter Sunday
• 9 days to Secretary’s Day
• 27 days to Mother’s Day
• 62 days to Father’s Day
• 1,012 days left of “Hope and Change”
149 years ago . . . In 1865, PRESIDENT LINCOLN was shot and mortally wounded by JOHN WILKES BOOTH, while attending the comedy ”Our American Cousin” at Ford’s Theater in Washington. Lincoln died the following morning.
403 years ago . . . In 1611, Prince Federico Cesi used the word “TELESCOPE” for the first time.
242 years ago . . . In 1772, English citizen ELIZABETH RUSSELL died at age 104. After Elizabeth died, the coroner made a shocking discovery: That minx was a MAN, BABY!
112 years ago . . . In 1902, J.C. PENNEY opened his first store, in Kemmerer, Wyoming. The “C” stands for Cash. (True.) The “J” stands for James. (Also true)
102 years ago . . . In 1912, the “unsinkable” TITANIC collided with an iceberg on its maiden voyage and began sinking. 716 passengers survived and 1,517 drowned in the icy water.
Their tragic deaths made LEONARDO DICAPRIO very rich . . . and allowed JAMES CAMERON to make more than one man’s share of underwater IMAX movies.
74 years ago . . . In 1940, actress HATTIE MCDANIEL became the FIRST AFRICAN-AMERICAN to win an OSCAR, for her supporting role in “Gone With The Wind”.
38 years ago . . . In 1976, STEVIE WONDER signed a $13 MILLION contract with Motown . . . the most lucrative deal in the music industry at the time.
21 years ago . . . In 1993, DON CALHOUN of Bloomington, Illinois, got a free ticket to the Chicago Bulls / Miami Heat game from a friend.
A member of the Bulls promo staff approached him during the second quarter and asked if he’d like to take a FULL-COURT shot at half time for $1 MILLION.
He accepted . . . he sank the shot . . . and he went home a millionaire! The reason the promo staff picked him: He was wearing SHINY GOLD BOOTS!
Nine years ago . . . In 2005, the Transportation Security Administration banned passengers from carrying any type of LIGHTERS onto planes. They lifted the ban in 2007.
Four years ago . . . In 2010, Iceland’s Eyjafjallajokull volcano erupted causing ash to eventually drift over much of Europe. Air traffic was shut down over many parts of Europe for the next six days.