Your daily dose of whatever!!
(NC-17) Miranda Kerr Talks Dirty and Poses Nude in the British “GQ”
MIRANDA KERR poses nude in the British edition of “GQ” and tells us more than we need to know about her sexuality. She’s a member of the Mile High Club, she’s open to GIRL-ON-GIRL action and she always asks for a critique from her partner after sex.
Was John Mayer Having Kinky Sex With Kelly Monaco Behind Katy Perry’s Back?
Sources say KATY PERRY dumped JOHN MAYER because she found out he was having kinky sex with KELLY MONACO. One source says, quote, “[Kelly] was open to the things that John’s into, like sexy toys, tying each other up and threesomes. He couldn’t get enough.” Katy reportedly found texts between them and sent John packing.
Sexy Pictures of Famous People
1. By now we all know that PATRICK STEWART and IAN MCKELLEN are BBFFs. That’s BRITISH Best Friends Forever. Well, they just finished up a play in New York City . . .
And during their downtime, they went around town getting their pictures taken in various locations . . . while wearing bowler hats. In some shots they’re even holding hands. Make of that what you will.
2. I think these pictures settle it: KHLOE is the hottest KARDASHIAN right now. The pics were taken in Thailand, where the family is on vacation. Here are some shots of Kim, Kendall and Kylie. (Kylie is 16, by the way, so try not to perv out on her pics.)
2. Here’s JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT peeking out from between two Laker Girls during Sunday’s game.
3. FERGIE’S friends got her a birthday cake with a shirtless picture of her husband JOSH DUHAMEL on it.
4. DEMI LOVATO dressed up as one of the “[Penis] In a Box” guys to prank her opening act, Collins Key.
5. MILA KUNIS and ASHTON KUTCHER are in Iowa visiting his family, and it looks like she’s starting to show.
6. (NC-17) Did LEA MICHELE really expose a nipple at the Kids Choice Awards? (WARNING: Nippleage ahead.)
7. LORDE Tweeted two pictures of herself, one with her acne airbrushed out, and one with her natural skin. Her message? Quote, “Remember, flaws are ok.”
8. I never want NAYA RIVERA to wear anything but a bikini ever again.
9. Check out a gallery of bad celebrity tattoos.
Johnny Depp Smokes a Lot
In the new issue of “Interview” magazine, JOHNNY DEPP admits that he smokes A LOT. Asked how many cigarettes he burns down in a day, he says, quote, “I’ll bet a thousand. I’m working my way up to ten thousand.” Obviously he’s exaggerating, since that would be 50 packs A DAY.
Is Anne Hathaway the Most Unfairly Hated Celebrity?
According to a new survey by iHeartRadio, ANNE HATHAWAY is the most unfairly hated and mocked celebrity. JAY LENO is second. The poll also found that TAYLOR SWIFT is considered the biggest celebrity “player” . . . and DESTINY’S CHILD is the group most people want to do a reunion tour.
Anne Hathaway was #1, with 24% of the vote. Jay Leno was second at 23% . . . followed by Justin Bieber (21%), Kanye West (9%), Katherine Heigl (8.5%), “Any Kardashian” (8%) and Shia LaBeouf (7%).
Showbiz Tragedy: A Back Injury Has Forced Billy Dee Williams to Quit “Dancing with the Stars”
Sadly, last night, BILLY DEE WILLIAMS announced that a back injury has forced him to quit “Dancing with the Stars”. He said, quote, “I’ve had a wonderful, brilliant, fantastic, blast of a time” . . . and he added that working with dancer Emma Slater was a, quote, “pure joy.”
“How I Met Your Mother” Ended Last Night . . . and Parts of the Finale Were Filmed Nine Years Ago
“How I Met Your Mother” ended its nine-season run last night . . . and some parts of the finale were filmed NINE YEARS ago. LYNDSY FONSECA says she and DAVID HENRIE filmed a bunch of stuff together back in 2005, so they wouldn’t appear to age in the “flash-forwards” over the years.
(SPOILER ALERT: There’s full recap on the events of the finale, here.)
Pharrell Will Replace Cee Lo Green on the Next Season of “The Voice”
PHARRELL AND HIS GIANT HATS will replace CEE LO GREEN on the next season of “The Voice”. There’s no word who the other coaches will be, so we don’t know if ADAM LEVINE, BLAKE SHELTON and / or CHRISTINA AGUILERA are returning yet.
A Ton of People Watched the “Walking Dead” Season Finale
“The Walking Dead” closed out its fourth season with another massive audience. 15.7 million people tuned in for Sunday’s finale, which is HUGE for cable.
It isn’t the show’s biggest turnout, but it came close. The fourth season premiere last fall attracted 400,000 more viewers, for a total of 16.1 million.
On top of that, the after-show, “Talking Dead”, drew 7.3 million viewers. That’s extremely impressive for what it is . . . considering it would be a passable audience for a regular show on one of the main broadcast networks.
Tuesday TV Reminders:
• “The Voice” . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC. Chris Martin returns as an adviser for his second stage of the battles. His last appearance is next Monday’s episode.
• “Glee” . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox. Blaine & Sam move in with Kurt in New York.
• “About a Boy” . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on NBC. Adrienne Palicki guest stars.
• “Cougar Town” [5th Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on TBS.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon” – Samuel L. Jackson, Minnie Driver, and Pitbull.
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” – Nick Cannon and country singer Brett Eldredge.
• “Letterman” – Kristin Chenoweth, Amy Schumer, and Johnnyswim.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Danai Gurira from “The Walking Dead” and David Duchovny.
• “Carson Daly” – Tim Simons from “Veep”. Plus: The Cosmonauts, and the Shanghai Restoration Project.
• “Arsenio” – Isaiah Washington (“The 100″) and rapper August Alsina.
• “Conan” – Seth Rogen and forgotten “Idol” winner Phillip Phillips.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Jim Parsons from “The Big Bang Theory”. (Repeat)
• “Chelsea Lately” – Demian Bichir from FX’s “The Bridge”.
• “Jon Stewart” – “Moneyball” author Michael Lewis promotes his new book “Flash Boys”.
• “The Colbert Report” – John Malkovich.
“Anchorman 2″ is Out on DVD and “Jobs” is Out on Netflix
Here’s what’s new on DVD today:
• “Anchorman 2“ with Will Ferrell, Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, and David Koechner back as Ron, Brick, Fantana, and Champ. And Kristin Wiig as Brick’s new girlfriend.
• “Knights of Badassdom“, a horror comedy starring Peter Dinklage, Summer Glau, Steve Zahn, and Ryan Kwanten as medieval role players who conjure up a succubus.
• “47 Ronin“ stars Keanu Reeves leads 47 samurai to avenge the death of their master.
• “The Pirate Fairy“: Christina Hendricks is the pirate fairy in the latest Tinkerbell movie.
• “At Middleton“: Andy Garcia and Vera Farmiga fall in love on a college campus tour.
• “The Bag Man“: John Cusack delivers a package for crime boss Robert DeNiro.
• The eighth season of “Psych”, the second season of “The Client List”, and the first two seasons of “I Dream of Jeannie”.
Here’s what’s new in the past week to Netflix Instant Streaming:
• “Jobs“ stars Ashton Kutcher as Apple founder Steve Jobs.
• “The Big Wedding” stars Robert DeNiro, Amanda Seyfriend, and Topher Grace.
• “The Grandmaster“ a kung fu flick starring Tony Leung and Zhang Ziyi.
And here’s what’s new in video games this week:
• “MLB 14: The Show“ on the PS3 and Vita. The PS4 version comes out May 6th.
• On FRIDAY, the MMO “The Elder Scrolls Online“ hits the PC, XBoxOne and PS4. The voice cast includes John Cleese, Kate Beckinsale, and “Harry Potter’s” Michael Gambon.
The Dio Tribute Album . . . Plus New CDs from Nick Cannon, Christina Perri, and the Guy Who Played Walt on “Lost”
• “This Is Your Life“ . . . a Ronnie James Dio tribute album featuring covers of his greatest hits from Rainbow, Black Sabbath, and Dio.
Corey Taylor from Stone Sour does “Rainbow in the Dark”, and some of the other performers are Tenacious D, Metallica, Halestorm, the Scorpions, Motorhead, Anthrax, Killswitch Engage, and deliciously gay Rob Halford.
• “MKTO“, the self-titled debut album from actors Malcolm Kelley and Tony Oller. The band name MKTO is a combination of their initials. Malcolm played Walt on “Lost” and Tony was in “The Purge”. They met on the set of the Nickelodeon series “Gigantic”.
• “Head Or Heart“, Christina Perri
• “La Gorgola“, Chevelle
• “Himalayan“, the British rock band Band of Skulls
• “Education, Education, Education & War“, Kaiser Chiefs
• “The Infamous Mobb Deep“, Mobb Deep . . . the hip-hop duo of Prodigy and Havoc for you white folks. The UNCENSORED tracks “All a Dream“ and “Say Something“ be up on SoundCloud. You can also listen to the entire album on Pandora.
• “In My Soul“, The Robert Cray Band
• “Where It All Began“, the debut album of country duo Dan + Shay.
• “Turn It Up“, country singer Josh Thompson
• “Cope“, Manchester Orchestra
• “Sweet Disarray“, Dan Croll
• “Broken Crown Halo“, Lacuna Coil
• “Pariah’s Child“, Sonata Arctica . . . for all your Finnish melodic metal needs.
• “Saudade“, Thievery Corporation
• “Life Journey“, Leon Russell . . . a covers album with Leon’s version of songs like “New York State of Mind” by Billy Joel and “Georgia on My Mind” by Ray Charles.
• “Looking Into You: A Tribute to Jackson Browne“ . . . a two-disc set that includes Bruce Springsteen, the Indigo Girls, Ben Harper, and Don Henley with Blind Pilot.
• “All You Can Eat“, Steel Panther . . . a hair metal band with such foul-mouthed tracks as “[Kitty] Whipped”, “Bukkake Tears”, and “[Eff] My Heart in the [Booty]”.
Five Last Minute April Fools’ Day Pranks for the Office
1. Tape a piece of paper to the bottom of your co-worker’s mouse. It blocks the laser on the bottom and the mouse won’t work.
2. Go into the fridge and turn all the soda tabs 180 degrees. People won’t notice at first, and they won’t be able to open them.
3. Buy bags of Skittles, M&M’s, and Reese’s Pieces. Then mix all three into one candy dish. People will HATE you.
4. Pop the keys off someone’s keyboard and put them back in the wrong spots.
5. Print out a sign and put it over the office copier that says, “The copy repairman came and installed voice activation. Instead of hitting ‘copy,’ you have to say the number of copies you want in a loud and clear voice.”
Five Random Facts For Tuesday
1. McDonald’s sells 75 hamburgers every second.
2. Of the millions of people who filled out NCAA brackets to try to win $1 BILLION from Quicken Loans this year, only 191 picked the Final Four of Florida, Wisconsin, Kentucky, and UConn. And, as you probably heard, no one has a perfect bracket.
3. For the past 14 years in a row, the Slurpee capital of the world is . . . Winnipeg, in Manitoba, Canada. 7-Elevens there sell the highest number of Slurpees per store.
4. Approximately 6,420 people worldwide die every hour . . . while 15,000 are born.
5. Sony sold 12 million floppy discs in 2009. The peak year was 2002, when they sold 47 million. They stopped producing and selling floppy discs in 2011.
Here’s How a Typical Genius Spends Their Day
They wake up at 10:00 A.M. and spend two hours eating, talking with family or friends, reading the news, and other leisure activities.
Exercise at noon for one hour.
Spend an hour at 1:00 P.M. on errands, paying bills, and other menial things you have to do to keep your life running.
Work on projects and big ideas for five hours, from 2:00 P.M. to 7:00 P.M.
Two-and-a-half hours for meals, social activities, and relaxing from 7:00 P.M. to 9:30 P.M.
Finally, spend five-and-a-half hours from 9:30 P.M. to 3:00 A.M. doing their primary work. Like, this is when Mozart would actually compose music.
Then sleep from 3:00 A.M. to 10:00 A.M. . . . just seven hours. (Info We Trust)
The Eight Shortcuts Men Take When They’re Cleaning
1. Dusting around objects instead of lifting them up.
2. Wiping crumbs onto the floor.
3. Not washing food off dishes well enough.
4. Pushing garbage down instead of emptying the trash can.
5. Just rinsing the shower instead of scrubbing it.
6. Throwing in the whites with the rest of the laundry instead of separate loads.
7. Squirting bleach into the toilet but not scrubbing it.
8. Picking stuff up off the carpet instead of vacuuming. (FemaleFirst)
The Average Woman Has $550 of Clothing She’s Never Worn
According to a new survey, the average woman has $550 worth of clothing she’s NEVER WORN. And the majority of women say they’ve never worn 20% of the stuff in their closet.
Baseball Quick Hits: How Much It Costs to Propose at a Stadium, Where the Most Fans Live, and Crazy Stadium Foods
Here are some random baseball stories in honor of opening day. If you want to propose on the JumboTron, the price is $2,500 in L.A., and $38.50 in Pittsburgh. And a few new crazy stadium foods this year are an 18-inch corndog from the Arizona Diamondbacks, and bacon on a stick from the Texas Rangers.
1. We’re pretty sure NO woman wants her boyfriend to propose on the JumboTron at a baseball game, but guys keep doing it anyway. And a new study found how much each stadium CHARGES, and it’s different at every stadium.
2. Facebook analyzed every county in the U.S. to find the most popular baseball team there. Most of it lines up how you’d expect . . . the Red Sox dominate the northeast, the Yankees have fans everywhere, the Braves dominate the south.
It’s pretty sad for two teams: The New York Mets and the Oakland A’s are both in cities with more popular teams . . . the Yankees and the Giants. There’s not a SINGLE county where they’re the most popular. (Wall Street Journal) (Check out the map here.)
3. Stadiums have stepped up their CRAZY foods this season. The Diamondbacks are selling an 18-inch corndog . . . the Texas Rangers are selling bacon on a stick . . . and the Detroit Tigers are selling a hot dog covered in fries and gravy. (The Wire)
What’s the Biggest Waste of Money You’ve Ever Witnessed?
What’s the biggest waste of money you’ve ever witnessed? A few of our favorite stories are a guy who saw someone bet all 38 numbers on a roulette table, even though the one that hit would only pay 35-to-one . . . and a guy whose boss bought bricks at Home Depot but didn’t want to put them in his Jaguar, so he went across the street and bought a Toyota on his credit card to move them.
A Woman Goes Into Labor, Decides to Get a Quick Pedicure . . . and Has the Baby at the Nail Salon
A woman in New Jersey went into LABOR at a nail salon last week. Her labor lasted 42 hours with her first child, so she figured she had some time . . . and kept going with her pedicure. Turns out her second child was in a much bigger hurry . . . and she ended up giving birth right there in the nail salon 10 minutes later
A Guy Let a Hyena Eat His Manhood and Three of His Toes . . . Because a Witchdoctor Said It Would Make Him Rich
A guy in Zambia was told by a witchdoctor that he’d get rich if he sacrificed a BODY PART. So last Monday, he walked out of his village, stripped naked . . . and let a hyena chew off three of his TOES along with his MANHOOD. He’s in stable condition now, and says he doesn’t regret it . . . because he’s excited about all the MONEY he’s about to come into.
Asa Butterfield is 17. Ender in “Ender’s Game” and Hugo Cabret in “Hugo”.
Mattress actress Jenna Presley is 27. She’s starred in 310 fine films, including “That ’70s Ho” and “Vampire Sex Diaries”. She was also Lois Lane in the porn parody “Supergirl XXX” and Spider-Woman in “Avengers XXX”.
Hillary Scott from Lady Antebellum is 28.
Matt Lanter is 31. Roman the teenage alien in love with a human on the CW’s “Star-Crossed”. Before that he was Liam Court on “90120”, and the voice of Anakin Skywalker for the “Star Wars: The Clone Wars” cartoon.
Taran Killam is 32. “SNL” stud known for his Michael Cera, Pee Wee Herman, and Eminem impressions.
Sam Huntington is 32. Josh, the neurotic werewolf on SyFy’s “Being Human”.
Randy Orton is 34. The youngest WWE champ in HISTORY. He’s a THIRD GENERATION WWE star. He’s the son of Rowdy Roddy Piper’s head lackey, Cowboy Bob Orton, Jr.
Bijou Phillips is 34. Chyna and Mackenzie’s naughty half-sister. She did underage Calvin Klein ads, posed for “Playboy”, did a lesbian scene in “Black and White”, had graphic sex scenes in “Bully” and got torn to shreds in “Hostel Part 2″.
Jon Gosselin is 37. Packing a MIGHTY THREE-INCHES.
Colby Donaldson is 40. Mantastic Texan who lost a million bucks to Dr. Laura look-a-like Tina Wesson on “Survivor 2″. He also did “Survivor: All-Stars” and “Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains”.
Rachel Maddow is 41. Hosts “The Rachel Maddow Show” on MSNBC. She’s the first openly gay anchor ever to host a prime-time news show. That trophy was yours for the taking, Anderson Cooper, and you blew it.
Joe Francis is 41. Morally bankrupt scum of the Earth who founded the now-bankrupt Girls Gone Wild.
Method Man is 43. His biggest hit . . . at least in the mainstream white man’s world . . . is his Mary J. Blige duet “I’ll Be There for You / You’re All I Need to Get By”.
Susan Boyle is 53. The biggest star to come out of any of the “Got Talent” shows . . . she became internationally famous on “Britain’s Got Talent”. She. Is. Gorgeous.
Annette O’Toole is 62. Martha Kent . . . Superman’s mom on “Smallville”. You might also remember her as the slingshot-wielding Beverly from the Stephen King movie “IT” . . . and as Christopher Reeve’s Lana Lang in “Superman 3″.
(“Spinal Tap” superstar Michael McKean gets to nail her ANYTIME HE WANTS TO! If you’d like to see her NAKED CANS, check out the 1982 remake of “Cat People”.)
Ali MacGraw is 75. Ryan O’Neal’s “Love Story” minx.
Debbie Reynolds is 82. “Singing in the Rain”, “The Unsinkable Molly Brown” and THE MOTHER OF PRINCESS LEIA.
In the late 1950s, Debbie’s husband, Eddie Fisher . . . a.k.a. the father of Carrie Fisher . . . left Debbie for Elizabeth Taylor. It was the Brad Pitt–Jennifer Aniston–Angelina Jolie situation of its day.
Gordon Jump (1932 – 2003) Mr. Karlson on “WKRP in Cincinnati” . . . and the Maytag Repairman.
Lon Chaney (1883 – 1930) The Man of a Thousand Faces. He WAS “The Phantom of the Opera” and “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”.
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 3 days to “Captain America 2″
• 5 days to “Game of Thrones”
• 5 days until the ACM Awards
• 14 days until your Taxes are Due
• 19 days to Easter Sunday
• 1,025 days left of “Hope and Change”
85 years ago . . . In 1929, Louie Marx introduced the YO-YO. From then on, his friends called him Yo-Yo Marx . . . which made people think he was related to Groucho, Harpo, Chico AND Zeppo! (???)
57 years ago . . . In 1957, the EVERLY BROTHERS’ smash hit “Bye Bye, Love” was first released . . . after being rejected by 30 record labels. It went on to hit #2 on the Pop chart and #1 on the Country chart.
57 years ago . . . In a 1957 April Fool’s Prank, the BBC announced that because of a mild winter in Switzerland, spaghetti trees were producing more spaghetti than normal. And they showed footage of people pulling strands of spaghetti off tree branches.
People immediately started calling in asking how to grow their own spaghetti tree. So the BBC told them, quote, “place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best.”
51 years ago . . . In 1963, “General Hospital” made its debut as a half-hour show. It was expanded to 45 minutes in July of 1976 . . . and finally stretched to a full hour in January of 1978.
44 years ago . . . In 1970, DICK NIXON signed a measure banning cigarette advertising on radio and television, to take effect after January 1st, 1971.
38 years ago . . . In 1976, the spring break classic “Margaritaville”, by JIMMY BUFFETT, was released!
30 years ago . . . In 1984, the great MARVIN GAYE was shot to death by his own father . . . who later pleaded guilty to voluntary manslaughter and got off with probation.
29 years ago . . . In a 1985 April Fool’s Prank, “Sports Illustrated” claimed a rookie pitcher named Sidd Finch was planning to play for the Mets. They said he could throw 168 miles an hour, and that he trained at a monastery in Tibet.
29 years ago . . . In 1985, DAVID LEE ROTH left VAN HALEN to pursue a mediocre solo career. Meanwhile, Van Halen continued to have major success with mediocre music.
22 years ago . . . In 1992, BILLY IDOL pleaded no contest to punching a woman in the face. He was fined and told to make public service announcements against rampant alcohol and drug use.
20 years ago . . . In 1994, on a ski trip in Telluride, Colorado, CHRISTIE BRINKLEY escaped death as her helicopter crashed into a mountainside, injuring five, and killing Christie’s marriage with beautiful BILLY JOEL.
She dumped Billy later that month, married one of her fellow survivors from the crash . . . then divorced HIM a year later.
18 years ago . . . In a 1996 April Fool’s Prank, TACO BELL said they were buying the LIBERTY BELL and renaming it the “Taco Liberty Bell.” Outrage ensued.
16 years ago . . . In 1998, a U.S. District Judge dismissed PAULA JONES’ lawsuit against then-President BILLY CLINTON, saying her claims of sexual harassment fell “FAR short” of being worthy of trial.
14 years ago . . . In an April Fool’s Prank in 2000, a Romanian newspaper announced that dozens of prisoners would be released from prison. So their families showed up to take them home, only to find out it was all a joke. The newspaper later published an apology.
Nine years ago . . . In a 2005 April Fool’s Prank, MAYNARD from TOOL played a HI-larious prank by pretending to have found Jesus, just like Brian “Head” Welch from Korn did.
Five years ago . . . In a 2009 April Fool’s Prank, FunnyOrDie.com devoted their ENTIRE website to REBA MCENTIRE . . . right down to renaming the front page Reba Or Die. (See that here.)
Four years ago . . . In a 2010 April Fool’s Prank, BEN AND JERRY’S announced the world’s first virtual ice cream. They claimed you could test the flavor of the ice cream just by licking your computer screen. If only this one were true . . .
Three years ago . . . In a 2011 April Fool’s Prank, the guys in HANSON pretended to have a SLIPKNOT cover album in the works. And to sell it, they leaked a video of the band rehearsing the Slipknot song “Wait and Bleed” in their hotel room.
Two years ago . . . In a 2012 April Fool’s Prank, MITT ROMNEY’S campaign staff had Congressman Paul Ryan introduce Mitt at a pancake breakfast, that was supposedly filled with supporters . . . but when Romney walked in, the room was empty.
One year ago . . . In a 2013 April Fool’s Prank, SHARON OSBOURNE “announced” that she’s pregnant. She said she went to an in vitro clinic, got a donor egg, mixed it with OZZY’S sperm and had it implanted in her 60-year-old womb.