Your daily dose of Whatever includes:
- All your Oscar winners!!
- Fashion moments from the Oscars
- Creepy…dead (well not really dead) man wakes up in body bag at funeral home
“12 Years a Slave” Won Best Picture . . . Matthew McConaughey and Cate Blanchett Took Best Actor and Actress
“12 Years a Slave” won Best Picture at the Oscars last night, and star LUPITA NYONG’O won Best Supporting Actress.
The night’s big winner was “Gravity”, which took home SEVEN Oscars. They were mostly technical awards, like editing, visual effects and sound mixing. But ALFONSO CUARON also got Best Director.
“Dallas Buyers Club” won THREE Oscars, including Best Actor for MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY and Best Supporting Actor for JARED LETO.
CATE BLANCHETT won Best Actress for the WOODY ALLEN film “Blue Jasmine”, and “Frozen” won Best Animated Film.
“12 Years a Slave” also won Best Adapted Screenplay, while Best Original Screenplay went to “Her”.
The Complete Oscars Winners List
Best Picture: “12 Years a Slave”
Best Director: Alfonso Cuarón for “Gravity”
Best Actor: Matthew McConaughey for “Dallas Buyers Club”
Best Actress: Cate Blanchett for “Blue Jasmine”
Best Supporting Actor: Jared Leto for “Dallas Buyers Club”
Best Supporting Actress: Lupita Nyong’o for “12 Years a Slave”
Best Animated Feature Film: “Frozen”
Best Documentary Feature: “20 Feet from Stardom”
Best Documentary (Short Subject): “The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life”
Best Adapted Screenplay: “12 Years a Slave”
Best Original Screenplay: “Her”
Best Foreign Film: “The Great Beauty” (Italy)
Best Film Editing: “Gravity”
Best Costume Design: “The Great Gatsby”
Best Makeup and Hairstyling: “Dallas Buyers Club”
Best Visual Effects: “Gravity”
Best Sound Mixing: “Gravity”
Best Sound Editing: “Gravity”
Best Production Design: “The Great Gatsby”
Best Cinematography: “Gravity”
Best Original Score: “Gravity”
Best Original Song: “Let It Go” from “Frozen”
Best Short Film (Animated): “Mr. Hublot”
Best Short Film (Live Action): “Helium”
Ellen Took Selfies and Bought Pizza for the Audience, Bill Murray Snuck in a Harold Ramis Reference . . . And Other Oscar Moments
At last night’s Oscars, ELLEN DEGENERES took a selfie that quickly became the most re-Tweeted post on Twitter, and she also served the audience pizza. Meanwhile, BILL MURRAY gave a shout-out to HAROLD RAMIS, and JARED LETO paid tribute to his mom.
Before the show even started JENNIFER LAWRENCE had her SECOND OSCAR FALL in a row, when she wiped out on the red carpet. And of course, ELLEN DEGENERES called her out on it in her opening monologue.
As host, Ellen was . . . well . . . Ellen DeGeneres. And that’s a good thing. She was funny without going overboard or trying too hard.
She did toss in one reference to her own sexuality, when she slyly brought up JONAH HILL’S nude scene in “The Wolf of Wall Street”. She said, quote, “You showed us something in that film that I have not seen for a very, very long time.”
She also took a star-studded selfie with Meryl Streep, Julia Roberts, Jared Leto, Jennifer Lawrence, Bradley Cooper, Channing Tatum, Kevin Spacey, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Lupita Nyong’o that almost immediately broke the record for most re-Tweets.
By the time the Oscars ended, it had been re-Tweeted over TWO MILLION TIMES, and it actually crashed Twitter for a while.
And she handed out pizza to the stars, and later went around with PHARRELL’S giant hat to collect donations for it. Yes, Pharrell did wear the hat when he performed “Happy” earlier in the show. (Here’s a list of celebs who took a slice of pizza.)
JARED LETO’s acceptance speech for Best Supporting Actor was basically a love letter to his mom. But he also spoke out for the people of Venezuela and the Ukraine, along with the millions who’ve died of AIDS.
JIM CARREY introduced a montage of classic animated films, and tossed in his old “Dumb & Dumber” quote, “I was WAY off.” The sequel comes out in November.
And when BILL MURRAY presented the Cinematography award with AMY ADAMS, he ad-libbed a tribute to HAROLD RAMIS.
The Oscar Fashion Rundown: Pharrell’s New Goofy Hat . . . Liza Minnelli’s Nipples . . . And More
The most-talked about FASHION moments from last night’s Grammys included PHARRELL’S new hat . . . and LIZA MINNELLI’S nipples. But others made interesting fashion choices, including Jared Leto, Lady Gaga, Julia Roberts, and Angelina Jolie.
He wore a similar hat during his performance. This time, it was black instead of brown. By the way, Pharrell also announced yesterday that the original Grammy hat has been auctioned off on eBay for charity. It raised $44,100.
Speaking of Pharrell, he also wore tuxedo SHORTS on the red carpet.
Liza Minnelli’s REVEALING outfit was a blue pantsuit. It hung loosely over her body, except in her CHESTAL REGION, where you could clearly see the outline of her HUGE, 67-year-old nipples. She also had a matching blue streak in her hair.
There was some rain in Hollywood over the weekend . . . and some of the longer Oscar dresses got wet. Pregnant KERRY WASHINGTON’S gown was one of them.
In addition to Kerry, OLIVIA WILDE and ELSA PATAKY are also with fetus, so naturally they all had bump-friendly dresses.
JARED LETO wore an off-white suit, and let his long hair hang over his shoulders. Some people thought he was rockin’ a Jesus-look. And at least one person thought his hair looked like RIHANNA’S from last year.
MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY and RYAN SEACREST also went with the off-white tux look . . . although they didn’t have the hair, of course.
BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH wore a tux to the Oscars. That isn’t notable . . . but him hilariously photo-bombing U2 on the red carpet is.
“Movie 43″ Won Big at the Razzies, Along with Will and Jaden Smith
This year’s Razzies were handed out on Saturday . . . and somewhat surprisingly, ADAM SANDLER and “Grown Ups 2″ were shut out. Instead, the big winners were “Movie 43″, along with WILL and his son JADEN SMITH for “After Earth”.
But despite two nominations this year for “Grown Ups 2″, the Razzies have FINALLY given him a pass . . . and have turned their attention elsewhere.
At this year’s ceremony on Saturday, “Movie 43″ and “After Earth” each won THREE Razzies . . . while “The Lone Ranger”, “A Madea Christmas”, and Tyler Perry’s “Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor” earned one each.
“Temptation’s” win was for Worst Supporting Actress KIM KARDASHIAN.
The Complete Razzie “Winners” List
Worst Picture: “Movie 43″
Worst Actor: Jaden Smith, “After Earth”
Worst Actress: Tyler Perry in drag, “A Madea Christmas”
Worst Supporting Actor: Will Smith, “After Earth”
Worst Supporting Actress: Kim Kardashian, “Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor”
Worst Onscreen Couple: Jaden Smith and Will Smith, “After Earth”
Worst Director: The 13 People who Directed “Movie 43″. They are: Elizabeth Banks, Steven Brill, Steve Carr, Rusty Cundieff, James Duffy, Griffin Dunne, Peter Farrelly, Patrik Forsberg, Will Graham, James Gunn, Bob Odenkirk, Brett Ratner, and Jonathan van Tulleken
Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel: “The Lone Ranger”
Worst Screenplay: “Movie 43″
Robin Thicke Told an Audience He’s Trying to Get Paula Patton Back
ROBIN THICKE is taking his case to the people. He told his audience in Fairfax, Virginia the other night, quote, “For y’all that don’t know, me and my wife separated . . . but I’m trying to get my girl back . . . She’s a good woman.”
Then he sang “Lost Without U” for her. (Here’s video.)
It looks like he also bought her a bunch of flowers. (Here are some pics of bouquets being delivered to Paula’s house.)
1. SNOOP DOGG has had beef with OPRAH ever since she called out his misogynistic rap lyrics in 2007. But they met for the first time at an Oscar party on Saturday, and they were totally cool.
2. Here’s a White House selfie featuring PRESIDENT OBAMA and science studs BILL NYE and NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON.
3. JIMMY FALLON jumped into Lake Michigan in a suit.
4. (NC-17) RIHANNA wore a totally see-through black mesh top to a party.
George Lopez Was Arrested in Canada for Public Intoxication . . . and He Joked That He’s Canada’s Justin Bieber
GEORGE LOPEZ got hammered at a Canadian casino last Thursday, and was arrested for public intoxication after passing out on the floor. No charges were filed against him. George later joked, quote, “I just did in Windsor, what JUSTIN BIEBER does in America.”
He isn’t in any REAL trouble though. No charges were filed against him . . . basically, he was just held until he sobered up.
Afterward, George joked, quote, “Tied one on last night. Not feeling great this morning. I was trying to sleep it off . . . unfortunately, it was on the casino floor.”
He also said, quote, “I don’t remember much about Thursday night, I do remember Canadian Police telling me, if I kept this up I could be mayor of Toronto.”
George had performed at the casino before he got trashed, and he was able to perform the following night as well. Naturally, he used the arrest as a punch line. He joked, quote, “I just did in Windsor, what JUSTIN BIEBER does in America.”
It’s Official: Philip Seymour Hoffman Died of “Acute Mixed Drug Intoxication”
PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN’S autopsy report is out, and as expected, he died of an accidental drug overdose. In addition to heroin, he had cocaine in his system . . . along with anti-anxiety medication and an upper like Adderall.
Technically, it’s being described as “acute mixed drug intoxication” . . . with substances including “heroin, cocaine, benzodiazepines and amphetamines.” The last two would include anti-anxiety medication, and uppers like Adderall.
The heroin / cocaine mix is called “speed-balling” . . . and it’s the same thing that killed CHRIS FARLEY, RIVER PHOENIX and JOHN BELUSHI.
“Non-Stop” Beat “Son of God” at the Box Office . . . and “Frozen” Passed $1 Billion Worldwide
LIAM NEESON’S airplane thriller “Non-Stop” was #1 at the box office this weekend. It made $30 million . . . about $3.5 million more than the #2 movie, “Son of God”.
1. (NEW) “Non-Stop”, $30 million.
2. (NEW) “Son of God”, $26.5 million.
3. “The LEGO Movie”, $21 million. Up to $209 million in its 4th week.
4. “The Monuments Men”, $5 million. Up to $65.7 million in its 4th week.
5. “3 Days to Kill”, $4.9 million. Up to $20.7 million in its 2nd week.
6. “RoboCop”, $4.5 million. Up to $51.2 million in its 3rd week.
7. “Pompeii”, $4.3 million. Up to $17.7 million in its 2nd week.
8. “Frozen”, $3.6 million. Up to $389 million in its 15th week.
9. “About Last Night”, $3.4 million. Up to $43.8 million in its 3rd week.
10. “Ride Along”, $3.1 million. Up to $127 million in its 7th week.
Movies That Should Not Be Made: Michael Bay is Remaking “The Birds”
ALFRED HITCHCOCK’S brilliant 1963 horror film “The Birds” is being remade. And it gets worse. It’s being produced by director MICHAEL BAY’S company, Platinum Dunes.
Bay is best known for directing movies full of crappy acting, cheesy dialog and big, BIG explosions, like the “Transformers” flicks, “Armageddon” and “Pearl Harbor“.
Platinum Dunes is infamous for its terrible, soulless horror movie remakes like “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”, “Friday the 13th” and “A Nightmare on Elm Street”.
Obviously, a “Birds” remake is a Movie That Should Not Be Made. Here are the three reasons why:
1. We already have a killer bird movie for the new millennium. It’s called “Birdemic: Shock and Terror” . . . and it’s darn good enough, thank you.
2. The original starred MELANIE GRIFFITH’S mom. If Melanie stars in the remake there’ll be no suspense . . . because her face will look like it’s been ravaged by bird talons right from the first frame.
3. Birds don’t explode, Michael Bay. It doesn’t matter WHAT you do to them, they DON’T EXPLODE.
Monday’s TV Reminders:
• “The Voice” . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC. The blind auditions continue.
• “Almost Human” [1st Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox.
• “The Bachelor: The Women Tell All” . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. Sean Lowe and Catherine Giudici talk about their honeymoon . . . and 17 bachelorettes confront Juan Pablo.
• “Bates Motel” [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on A&E.
• “Those Who Kill” [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on A&E. Chloe Sevigny plays a homicide detective who’s convinced her stepfather is a serial killer.
• “Archer” . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on FX. Archer decides that the perfect baby shower gift to Lana would be to force Kenny Loggins to sing a duet with Cherlene.
• “Inside Comedy” . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. Eastern on Showtime. David Steinberg talks to “Monty Python’s” Eric Idle and “Super Dave Osbourne’s” Bob Einstein.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon” – Tina Fey and Randy Newman.
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” – Naomi Campbell, Brian Williams, and the Hold Steady.
• “Letterman” – Zach Braff. Music Guest: Future Islands.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Gonzo. Music Guest: Fitz & the Tantrums.
• “Carson Daly” – The Kaiser Chiefs and singer Noah Gundersen.
• “Arsenio” – The cast of “The Game” . . . including Brandy, Lauren London, and Wendy Raquel Robinson. Music Guest: Mary Mary.
• “Conan” – Malin Akerman, comedian Jim Jefferies, and “Idol’s” James Durbin.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Meredith Vieira and Josh Radnor.
• “Chelsea Lately” – Cameron Diaz.
• “Jon Stewart” – Seth MacFarlane.
• “The Colbert Report” – Author Caitlin Flanagan.
Five Random Facts For Monday
1. The fastest way to get drunk is . . . mixing liquor with a carbonated, sugarless mixer like Diet Coke or sugar-free Red Bull. Diet drinks make you absorb the alcohol quicker.
2. Real ninjas didn’t wear all black . . . they wore dark blue, because it was a more effective way to blend in at night.
3. Pineapples were such a major status symbol in Europe in the 1700s, you could rent one to take to a party. Buying one could cost the equivalent of $8,000 in today’s dollars.
4. It’s illegal to lock your car in Churchill, Manitoba, Canada . . . in case someone needs to hide inside of it to get away from a polar bear.
5. The time machine in “Back to the Future” was NOT originally a DeLorean . . . it was a REFRIGERATOR. But ROBERT ZEMECKIS was worried it would lead to kids locking themselves in refrigerators, so they changed it.
And Now, Three New Things to Worry About
1. Losing weight makes you lose friends. A new study has found that one out of THREE people who go on a diet lose friends in the process.
Why? It’s a mix of the person dieting avoiding their friends because their friends could tempt them to break their diet . . . and their friends avoiding THEM because no one wants to be around someone who’s hungry and miserable. (FemaleFirst)
2. Men worry about their appearance more than their family. So VANITY has come to this: A new survey found men worry about their APPEARANCE more than they worry about their health, family, relationships, or job success.
The only thing men worry about more than their looks is money. (Today)
3. Your Internet provider could knock 20% off your home price. You know how your only option for Internet is Comcast or Time Warner? Which are definitely slower than your friends’ Internet? That could cost you a LOT of money one day.
A new study found Internet speed has become so important to people, that homes without fast Internet options might lose up to 20% of their value when you try to sell. (Daily Mail)
What’s Something You Do Every Day That’s Socially Unacceptable?
Here are the top 10 socially unacceptable things people do every day.
1. Pick food out of your teeth with your fingers.
2. Pee sitting down, as a man.
3. Pick your nose.
4. Scratch your butt, then secretly sniff it while you pretend to scratch your nose.
5. Put your elbows on the table.
6. Pass gas whenever you feel it coming.
7. Wear sweatpants out to dinner.
8. Take one bite out of a piece of pizza or cake then put it back in the refrigerator.
9. Sit at home, alone, doing nothing. It feels like you’re always supposed to be doing SOMETHING now . . . you can just sit there, sort of watching TV.
10. Pee in the shower. It’s so much faster. (Reddit)
The New Trend Is Using Conditioner First, and Shampoo Second?
Apparently there’s a new trend where people use conditioner FIRST, and shampoo second. The theory is that the conditioner softens and untangles your hair . . . then the shampoo washes away the heaviness of the conditioner and cleans your hair without eliminating all the moisture or shininess.
A Woman Who Looks Like a Human Barbie Wants to Stop Eating . . . And Live on Air and Sunlight?
A Ukrainian model named Valeria Lukyanova has had a ton of plastic surgery to make herself look like Barbie. And despite her 19-inch waist, she says she wants to lose MORE weight . . . by completely giving up food AND water. It’s something called Breatharianism, where you try to survive on just air and sunlight. Which is IMPOSSIBLE, and some people have even DIED doing it.
A Daughter Ruins Her Father’s $80,000 Lawsuit Settlement by Bragging About It on Facebook
Back in November of 2011, a man who was fired from a prep school in Florida got an $80,000 lawsuit settlement for age discrimination. The terms of the settlement said he and his family couldn’t talk about the settlement, but three days later, his daughter bragged about it on Facebook . . . so last week, an appeals court threw out the settlement.
A Man Sues McDonald’s For $1.5 Million . . . Because They Only Gave Him One Napkin?
A man in California just filed a $1.5 MILLION lawsuit against McDonald’s . . . because they only gave him ONE NAPKIN. Back on January 29th, he was eating his Quarter Pounder, asked for more napkins, and the manager told him no. The customer is black, the manager is Hispanic . . . and the customer says he heard the manager mumble something about, quote, “You people.”
Funeral Workers in Mississippi Find a Man Alive and Kicking Inside a Body Bag . . . Hours Before He Was Going to be Embalmed
On Wednesday night, a county coroner in Mississippi declared a man dead when he couldn’t find a pulse. About four hours later, the man’s body was at a funeral home, set to be embalmed . . . when funeral home workers saw him trying to KICK his way out of his body bag. The coroner is now blaming his “dead” diagnosis on a malfunctioning pacemaker.
A Man Gets Out of a Speeding Ticket Because He Was Rushing to Cash in a $50,000 Lottery Scratcher
On Thursday, cops in Massachusetts pulled over a 22-year-old for speeding. And his excuse was . . . he’d just won $50,000 on a $2 lottery scratcher and was headed to the lottery office to cash it in. The cops noticed his hands were SHAKING from excitement and he showed them the winning ticket . . . so they let him off with just a warning.
Jessica Biel is 32. One of the FINEST REAR ENDS EVER. Justin Timberlake taps that. Derek Jeter used to tap that. These guys are, like, the KINGS OF TAPPING THAT. If it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough for you.
Interracial mattress actress Jessie Jordan is 25 and Korean mattress actress Heather Havok is 26. They have 56 Asiatic films between them, including Heather’s “Me So Horny” and Jessie’s “My Feet Your Meat”!
David Faustino is 40. Bud Bundy on “Married with Children”.
Julie Bowen is 44. Claire on ABC’s “Modern Family” . . . which is one of the funniest family comedies OF ALL TIME.
John Carter Cash is 44. Son of Johnny and June Carter Cash.
Tone Loc is 48 and the rap legend behind “Wild Thing” and “Funky Cold Medina”.
Herschel Walker is 52. Former NFL star who’s working out his mid-life crisis through mixed martial arts. He fought twice, in 2010 and 2011, winning both times. And while his opponents weren’t exactly contenders, that’s still pretty impressive for a guy his age.
Jackie Joyner-Kersee is 52. The Greatest Female Athlete EVER. After Tonya Harding.
Ona Zee is 63. Very sexy, mature mattress actress who has starred in 302 fine films, including . . . “Fatal Erection”, “Facial Attraction” AND “Tango ‘n Gash”! Now a CERTIFIED M.I.L.F.
Jennifer Warnes is 67. Joe Cocker’s ultra-sexy better half in the jam “Up Where We Belong”, from “An Officer and a Gentleman” . . . and Bill Medley’s ultra-sexy better half in the “Dirty Dancing” CLASSIC “(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life”.
James Doohan (1920 – 2005) Scotty on the original “Star Trek”.
Alexander Graham Bell (1847 – 1922) We all know he invented the telephone . . . but did you know he also invented the METAL DETECTOR? He put it together in 1881 in a hurry . . . to try to find the bullet that killed President James Garfield!
The metal detector worked but they didn’t find the bullet . . . because Garfield’s body was laid out on a METAL TABLE. (IDIOTS!)
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 6 days to Daylight Savings
• 14 days to St. Patrick’s Day
• 14 days to Dancing with the Stars
• 29 days to April Fool’s Day
• 32 days to “Captain America 2″
• 1,054 days left of “Hope and Change”
117 years ago . . . In 1897, a young carpenter mixed fruit flavoring into gelatin and started selling the concoction door-to-door. His wife called it JELL-O. It didn’t sell well, so he sold the trademark two years later for $450. Today, 13 boxes of it are sold EVERY SECOND in the U.S.
83 years ago . . . In 1931, “THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER” officially became the National Anthem of the United States.
48 years ago . . . In 1966, WILLIAM FRAWLEY, the old-school comedy genius who WAS Fred Mertz on “I Love Lucy”, died of a heart attack at the age of 79.
48 years ago . . . In 1966, JOHN LENNON told the “London Evening Standard” that THE BEATLES were MORE POPULAR THAN JESUS.
32 years ago . . . In 1982, WAYNE GRETZKY broke the NHL record for goals scored in one season with his 77th goal. In the last two minutes of the game, he scored numbers 78 and 79.
26 years ago . . . In 1988, LUCIANO PAVAROTTI set the record for curtain calls when an audience in West Berlin gave him a 67-MINUTE STANDING OVATION . . . calling the chubby tenor back to the stage 165 times.
23 years ago . . . In 1991, MILD MANNERED MOTORIST RODNEY KING was severely beaten by Los Angeles PO-lice officers in a scene captured on amateur video.
15 years ago . . . In 1999, MONICA LEWINSKY opened her mouth . . . on TV with BARBARA WALTERS, and discussed some of her fondest and most painful memories from her randy relationship with PRESIDENT CLINTON. Billy’s a chubby-chaser, ya know.
Eight years ago . . . In 2006, GARY GLITTER was convicted of committing obscene acts on two girls, ages 10 and 11 . . . but his sentence was WEAK. Just THREE YEARS! (ATTICA!)