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Whatever 3.25

Your daily dose of Whatever!!

Is Nick Cannon Allowed to Do “Whiteface”? 

NICK CANNON has created a new, white character named Connor Smallnut to promote his upcoming album “White People Party Music” . . . and the outfit includes so-called “whiteface” makeup.  And we’re wondering if you think it’s okay, or if whiteface is just as offensive as blackface.

(You can see VIDEOS of Nick as Connor here and here.  And here’s the terrible single, “Pajama Pants“.)

Ellen Page Would Rather Be Embraced By A Woman Than By God 

 

 

ELLEN PAGE Tweeted a response to an unidentified “pastor” who had apparently contacted her with concerns about her homosexuality.

 

 

If you’re religious, this may offend you . . . if you’re not, you might find it hilarious . . . or at least witty.

 

 

She said, quote, “2 da Pastor who wrote me . . . Being gay isn’t a belief.  My soul isn’t struggling & I don’t want arms of Heavenly Father around me.  A girl’s arms?  Yes.”  (Here’s the Tweet.)

Demi Moore is Feeling “Closure” Now That Mila Kunis is Pregnant 

 

 

Ladies . . . when the guy who dumped you impregnates his next girlfriend, that’s rarely a good feeling, right?  Well, apparently it’s cool for DEMI MOORE.  Supposedly she’s HAPPY that ASHTON KUTCHER and MILA KUNIS are expecting.

 

 

A source says, quote, “She actually considers this moment to be closure.  She never really expected to get back with Ashton but this pretty much seals the deal that the moment of her life with him is now officially completed.”

 

 

(Meanwhile, Mila MAY have been showing a baby bump while shopping with Ashton.  And here are some shots from her guest-starring role on “Two and a Half Men”.)

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

 

 

1.  STACY KEIBLER confirmed her pregnancy by posting a picture of an actual bun in an actual oven.

 

 

 

2.  When SARAH MCLACHLAN isn’t making you feel bad about not rescuing every stray animal in the world, she’s apparently hitting the gym . . . because her body is TIGHT.

 

 

 

3.  ALICIA KEYS’ bikini game is strong.

 

 

 

4.  KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN’S boyfriend SCOTT DISICK pulled a Jon Hamm by going commando in tight pajama pants.

 

 

 

5.  JESSICA SIMPSON is back in the Daisy Dukes.  (Is it just me, or do her calf muscles have a really weird shape?)

 

 

 

6.  (NC-17)  Do you think SHARON STONE knew her nipples would show through in this shirt?  Did I just waste everyone’s time by asking such a silly question?

 

 

 

7.  (NC-17)  ROSE MCGOWAN HAD to know her nipples would show through THIS shirt.

8.  (NC-17)  HEIDI KLUM didn’t mean to show off her left nipple, but her bikini just wouldn’t cooperate.

 

 

 

9.  (NC-17)  Here are some nice, clear shots of EVA GREEN in her sex scene in the new “300″ movie.

 

 

 

10.  ANNE HATHAWAY brought her nipples with her to the beach in Miami.

 

 

 

11.  JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE and JESSICA BIEL showed off their swimsuit bodies while yachting off Barbados.

 

 

 

12.  KALEY CUOCO got her wedding date, 12/31/13, tattooed between her shoulder blades in Roman numerals.

 

 

 

13.  Is KANYE WEST a vampire?  In this photo from “Vogue”, it looks like he doesn’t have a reflection.

 

 

 

14.  EMMA ROBERTS posted a sunbathing pic, along with the hashtag “Pale for life”.

An Arrest Warrant Issued for Anita Baker Was Lifted Yesterday 

An arrest warrant that was issued last week for singer ANITA BAKER was lifted yesterday.  The warrant was issued after Anita failed to appear at a hearing concerning a civil lawsuit filed against her in 2011 by a contractor who did work on her Detroit-area home.  Anita claims she never even heard about the lawsuit until last week.

 

Anita claims she doesn’t owe the guy, and the work he did was substandard.  There’s a hearing scheduled for April 4th to determine if that judgment should be set aside.

Does the Hammer of Thor Actually Weigh as Much as 97 Million Titanics?

Some science geeks say that Thor’s hammer should actually weigh 4.6 TRILLION METRIC TONS, or about as much as 97 million Titanics.  That means that if Thor dropped it, it would immediately smash all the way through to the Earth’s core, causing chaos equal to that of the comet that destroyed the dinosaurs.

There’s a New Cheech & Chong Movie on the Way 

CHEECH & CHONG are doing their first official “Cheech & Chong” movie since 1984.  There’s no word on a title yet, but it’ll center around 67-year-old CHEECH MARIN and 75-year-old TOMMY CHONG going to a festival called The Burning Joint.  They hope to start filming this summer.

Spoiler Alert:  The Creators of “The Good Wife” Have Written a Letter Explaining Sunday’s Surprise Plot Twist 

Spoiler Alert for “The Good Wife”!  The show’s creators have written a letter to fans explaining the shocking death on Sunday’s show, and posted it on Twitter.  They said that in the end, killing JOSH CHARLES’ character made more sense to the story than merely “sending him off” to fade away.

Judge Joe Brown Was Arrested After Going on a Courtroom Tirade 

JUDGE JOE BROWN’S TV show is over, but he was back in court yesterday . . . in REAL life . . . and he got ARRESTED.  Brown was representing someone in a child support case when he flipped out on the judge.  He was cited for contempt of court five times, and ordered to spend five days in jail.

Are People More Likely to Watch a Show Because of Twitter Hashtags? 

A new study has found that Twitter is a driving force in getting people to watch TV shows.  76% of people who recall seeing TV-related Tweets have searched for a show.  And 77% have “taken action to watch show content.”

Tuesday TV Reminders:

 

 

“The Voice” . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC.  The judges’ steals continue as the first part of the battle rounds come to a close.

 

 

“Glee” . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox.  Gwyneth Paltrow and Kristin Chenoweth try to save the glee club now that its funding has been cut.

 

 

“NCIS” . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.  Scott Bakula guests as NCIS Agent Pride.

 

 

“Friday Night Tykes” [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Spike.

 

 

“Brooklyn Nine-Nine” [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.

 

 

“Ink Master” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Spike.  Hugh Jackman chooses the winner of an “X-Men” tattoo contest and previews “X-Men: Days of Future Past”.

 

 

“Jim Henson’s Creature Shop Challenge” [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Syfy.  Gigi Edgley, who played Chianna on “Farscape”, co-hosts with Jim’s son Brian Henson as artists compete for a $100,000 prize.

 

 

“Celebrities Undercover” . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on Oxygen.  Ice-T and his large-chested wife Coco each disguise themselves to fool their fans.

Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:

 

 

“The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon”Shakira and Jude Law.

 

 

“Late Night with Seth Meyers”Kim Kardashian, “SNL’s” Taran Killam, and Arianna Huffington.

 

 

“Letterman”Emma Watson, Nick Offerman, and a tribute to Johnny Cash.

 

 

“Jimmy Kimmel”Nicole Kidman and Alyson Hannigan.

 

 

“Carson Daly”“Divergent” author Veronica Roth.  Plus:  The Preatures and Misterwives.

 

 

“Arsenio”Dule Hill, rapper Danny Brown, and competitive eater Miki Sudo.

 

 

“Conan”Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein from “Portlandia”, and Rachael Harris from the upcoming Fox sitcom “Surviving Jack”.  Music Guest:  Lucius.

 

 

“Craig Ferguson”Ginger Gonzaga from “Mixology” and Howie Mandel.  Music Guest:  The Belle Brigade.

 

 

“Chelsea Lately”Jayma Mays from “Glee”.

 

 

“Jon Stewart”Gibby Haynes, lead singer of the Butthole Surfers. Plus: Music journalist Amy Yates Wuelfing.

 

 

“The Colbert Report”Jimmy Carter.

“The Wolf of Wall Street” is Out on DVD and “Paranoia” is Out on Netflix

 

 

Here’s what’s new on DVD today:

 

The Wolf of Wall Street . . . starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill.

 

Delivery Man . . . starring Vince Vaughn and Chris Pratt.

 

The Truth About Emanuel . . . starring Jessica Biel and Kaya Scodelario.

 

Odd Thomas . . . stars Anton Yelchin as author Dean Koontz’s clairvoyant hero.

 

Welcome to the Jungle . . . starring Adam Brody and Jean-Claude Van Damme.

 

Walking with Dinosaurs . . . an animated movie with the voice of Justin Long.

 

Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & Punisher, a direct-to-DVD animated flick.

 

• The second season of HBO’s “Veep” . . . the sixth season of Showtime’s “Californication” . . . and the second season of Syfy’s “Continuum”.

 

 

 

Here’s what’s new in the past week to Netflix Instant Streaming:

 

Paranoia is a corporate espionage thriller starring Liam Hemsworth as a pawn being used by Harrison Ford and Gary Oldman.

 

Mud stars Matthew McConaughey as a guy on the run from bounty hunters.

 

20 Feet From Stardom is the Oscar-winning documentary about backup singers.

 

• The fifth season of Lifetime’s “Drop Dead Diva” . . . the fourth season of Disney’s “Good Luck Charlie” . . .  and the first season of TLC’s “Secret Princes”.

 

 

 

And here’s what’s new in video games:

 

Titanfall comes out for the Xbox360 today.  It hit the Xbox One earlier this month.

Diablo III: Reaper of Souls is the first expansion pack for the PC.

New CDs From Shakira, “Glee”, and “The Walking Dead”

 

 

Shakira, Shakira.  Her guests include Rihanna and Blake Shelton.

 

This Is What I Do, a deeper voiced Boy George

 

Glee the Music:  Celebrating 100 Episodes, the cast of “Glee”

 

The Walking Dead Soundtrack: Volume 2 . . . a five-song EP that includes music from rockers Portugal the Man, and forgotten “Idol” winner Lee DeWyze.

 

Circus Hero, Circa Zero . . . the new band from Police guitarist Andy Summers

 

Gravitas, Asia

 

Pulses, the debut full-length album from Karmin

 

Singles, Future Islands

 

Teeth Dreams, The Hold Steady

 

Out Among the Stars, a long lost Johnny Cash album

High Noon, country singer Jerrod Niemann

 

Okie From Muskogee 45th Anniversary Edition, Merle Haggard. 

Badlands, the British rock band Cage the Gods

 

Down to the Core, the melodic rock band LRS

 

The Colourist, the debut album from The Colourist

 

The Joy of Motion, instrumental prog rock from Animals as Leaders

 

About Last Night, the alternative rock band Sleeper Agent

 

Forcefield, the Canadian rock band Tokyo Police Club

 

If You Wait, the debut album from London Grammar

 

Just Because, The Belle Brigade

 

Winter & The Wolves, rapper Grieves

 

Night Songs, Barry Manilow

 

Euphoria, soul singer Will Downing

 

Help, Erica Campbell from the Grammy-winning gospel duo Mary Mary

 

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, a 40th anniversary deluxe edition of Elton John’s classic album, with a second disc of artists like Ed Sheeran, Miguel, Fall Out Boy and the Zac Brown Band covering the songs.

Five Random Facts For Tuesday

 

1.  It’s estimated there are about three million ships wrecked and sitting at the bottom of the world’s oceans . . . and they’re worth billions of dollars between their artifacts and treasure.

 

 

2.  North Korean women have to get one of 18 different hairstyles that have been approved by the government . . . men have to choose one of 10.

 

 

3.  It’s illegal to own a pet hamster in Hawaii.  The climate is too good for hamsters . . . so if a few ever escaped, they could start wild colonies that would devastate Hawaii’s native crops.

 

 

4.  Singapore has the highest percentage of millionaires of any country.  One out of SIX households has a net worth over $1 million.

 

 

5.  BOB MARLEY gave a songwriting credit on “No Woman, No Cry” to a man named Vincent Ford, who ran a soup kitchen in Jamaica.  It was his way of making sure it would be funded forever.

 

 

(CNN Money / Time / Humane Society / Wall Street Journal / Greenwood)

The Average Person Calls Their Mother on Monday Night For 22 Minutes

According to a new survey, you’re not the only person whose mother wants to hear from you more often.  The average person calls their mother once a week, on Monday, at 7:00 P.M. before primetime TV starts . . . and only talks for 22 minutes.

1.  The average person calls their mother once a week.

 

2.  The most common day is Monday.

 

3.  The most common time is 7:00 P.M.  In other words, it’s before primetime TV starts.

 

4.  And the average call only lasts 22 minutes. 

 

 

(The Guardian)

 

You’re More Likely to Check Email or Watch TV Before Work Than Spend Time with Your Family

According to a new survey, only 18% of people say they have time to help their kids get ready for school in the morning.  And only 43% have ANY time to spend with their family.  But 51% say they have time to check email, 48% have time to browse the Internet, and 47% have time to watch TV . . . all before work.

(Daily Mail)

 

Four Myths Parents Tell Kids to Get Them to Eat

Here are the top MYTHS parents tell their kids to get them to eat different foods.  31% tell their kids eating the crusts on their bread will give them curly hair . . . 29% say drinking milk will make you strong . . . and 25% say eating carrots will help you see in the dark.

(Daily Mail)

What’s Something You Figured Out as an Adult That You Should’ve Learned as a Child?

What’s something you figured out as an adult that you really should’ve learned as a child?  A few of our favorites are that it’s a smaller world than you think, so don’t burn bridges . . . you’re not going to succeed on just your natural talent and intelligence, you need to work . . . and not every single person is going to like you.

(Reddit)

Does Drinking Make You Funnier?  No . . . It Actually Makes You Less Funny

Does drinking make you funnier?  Yes and no . . . but mostly no.  A new study found that people think they’re INCREDIBLY funny when they’re drunk . . . but their friends don’t see it that way.  For every drink you have, you think you’re getting funnier . . . while your sober friends think you’re getting less funny.

 (Daily Mail)

5% of People Have Checked Facebook During Sex

Believe it or not, 5% of people say they’ve checked FACEBOOK during sex.  Which isn’t really an endorsement of how INTERESTING their friends are on Facebook . . . it’s more of a sign of how BAD their sex is.

The survey also found 12% of people have answered their phone during sex and 10% have texted. 

(cnet)

Women Now Want a “Thoughtful Gift” Way More Than Diamonds

Women always say it’s the thought that counts when it comes to presents.  And as guys, we all assumed that meant:  “Nothing’s more thoughtful than expensive jewelry.”  But apparently we were being too cynical.

In a new survey, 56% of women say they’d prefer a thoughtful gift like a memorable trip over diamonds.  The survey also found women would prefer a gift card to cash. 

(FemaleFirst)

A Woman Just Won a Trip to the Final Four From Burger King . . . And Won the Same Thing Last Year From Wheat Thins

A woman in Los Angeles just won an all-expenses paid trip to the Final Four in a contest from Burger King.  Which is crazy . . . since she ALSO won an all-expenses paid trip to the Final Four last year, from Wheat Thins.  She’s a “sweeper” . . . which is a person who enters basically every corporate contest they can find no matter how big or small the prize is.

(Deadspin)

Alyson Michalka is 25.  Jenny’s hot girlfriend Brooke on “Two and a Half Men”.  You’d also know her from “Hellcats” and as the Aly of the teen pop duo Aly & AJ.

 

 

Katharine McPhee is 30.  Before NBC’s “Smash”, she was the “American Idol” runner-up who lost out to Taylor Hicks . . . despite her gorgeous, all natural breasts.

 

 

Danica Patrick is 32.  Auto racing’s female superstar.  Despite the fact that she has an actual talent, she’s also lowered herself to become a “Go Daddy Girl”.

 

Related Comedy:  Danica Patrick turns 32 today.  She’ll leave for her birthday party at the same time as everyone else, but still get there last.

 

 

Lee Pace is 35.  He’s two years younger than Orlando Bloom, despite playing Legolas’ father . . . King Thranduil . . . in the “Hobbit” movies.  He’s also the villain in the upcoming Marvel movie “Guardians of the Galaxy”.

 

 

Juvenile is 39.  Dazzling young urbanite.

Lark Voorhies is 40.  Delicious Nubian Lisa on “Saved By The Bell”!  She was also in “How High” with Method Man and Redman and was once engaged to Martin Lawrence.  She’s spent the last few years turning white and going insane.  (???)

 

 

Sheryl Swoopes is 43.  Three-time WNBA MVP . . . who came out of the closet in 2005.  FYI:  The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice.  So, Sheryl Swoopes is NOT safe for lesbian diabetics.

Teanna Kai is 43.  Asiatic mattress actress who was “Penthouse” Pet of the month in October of 2001, and performed lesbian scenes in 139 fine films, including . . . “Sex Idol”, and “Asian Invasion 3″.  Enjoy one of her PG-13 photo shoots here.

Sarah Jessica Parker and her Man Hands are 49.

 

 

Lisa Gay Hamilton is 50.  Used to be the Nubian lawyerette on “The Practice”.  She was also on that TNT show “Men of a Certain Age”.  And she appeared in the movie “Beastly” as the beast’s loyal maid.

 

 

Marcia Cross is 52.  Bree on “Desperate Housewives”.

 

 

Brenda Strong is 54.  “Desperate Housewives” narrator Mary Alice Young and Bobby’s wife on the new “Dallas”.  But I’ll always know her from her legendary “Seinfeld” role as Sue-Ellen Mishkie, Elaine’s bra-less rival and heir to the Oh Henry! candy bar fortune.

 

 

HAYWOOD NELSON! is 54.  DWAYNE ON “WHAT’S HAPPENING!!” AND “WHAT’S HAPPENING NOW!”  His best line:  “Hey HEY hey!”

 

 

Bonnie Bedelia is 66.  Camille Braverman on “Parenthood”.  But to me she’ll always be Holly McClane in the “Die Hard” movies.

 

 

Elton John is 67.  He didn’t let the sun go down on him.  But the father and the older brother were another story.

 

 

Paul Michael Glaser is 71.  Starsky on “Starsky & Hutch”.  He was the LOOSE CANNON of the duo, and he had the sweet ride.  He and the original Hutch, David Soul, had a cameo in the Ben Stiller/Owen Wilson movie remake.

Aretha Franklin is 72.  Aretha digs Terrence Howard:  Quote, “Twenty years ago, I would have hustled and flowed with him.  He sure is fine!  I have to say that every time I see him.  Hallelujah, glory to God!  That man is fine!”  And we’d guess Terrence would be into it . . . last year, he talked about doing a love scene with Oprah in that movie “Dead Man Down” and praised Oprah’s “tig ol’ bitties.”

 

Related Comedy:  Aretha Franklin and Elton John both celebrate birthdays today.  Which means it’s the birthday of one of the most successful women in music history . . . as well as Aretha Franklin.

 

 

Gloria Steinem is 80.  Drop dead sexy.

 

 

Gene Shalit is 89.  “Today” show movie critic with the amazing afro [slash] mustache combo!

 

 

Howard Cosell  (1918 – 1995)  Genius sportscaster.

 

 

Jeff Healey  (1966 – 2008)  Blind singer-guitarist.  Biggest hit:  1988′s “Angel Eyes”.  He ROCKED in “Road House”.  Currently jamming with Patrick in that Road House in the Sky.

 

 

Hoyt Axton  (1938 – 1999)  Songwriting legend.  Biggest hit:  “Joy to the World” ["Jeremiah was a bullfrog"].  His mama co-wrote “Heartbreak Hotel” for Elvis.  And Hoyt was THE star of “Gremlins”.

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• 7 days to April Fool’s Day

• 10 days to “Captain America 2″

• 12 days to “Game of Thrones”

• 21 days until your Taxes are Due

• 26 days to Easter Sunday

• 1,032 days left of “Hope and Change”

59 years ago . . . In 1955, “Blackboard Jungle” was released . . . starring SIDNEY POITIER as an angry urban youth who helps a middle-aged white teacher fight a gang of ruffians!

54 years ago . . . In 1960, ROY ORBISON recorded the amazing and underrated smash “Only The Lonely”.

 

 

46 years ago . . . In 1968, tragedy struck when the 58th and FINAL episode of “The Monkees” aired.

 

 

31 years ago . . . In 1983, during Motown’s 25th Anniversary TV special, MICHAEL JACKSON astounded audiences by performing a new dance move . . . the MOONWALK!

 

 

31 years ago . . . In 1983, “The Outsiders” was released, starring such unknowns as TOM CRUISE, ROB LOWE, MATT DILLON, PATRICK SWAYZE, EMILIO ESTEVEZ, DIANE LANE, RALPH MACCHIO, AND C. THOMAS HOWELL AS PONYBOY!

 

(Why was there never a sequel to this movie?  I’m DYING to know if Ponyboy stayed gold!!!)

 

 

29 years ago . . . In 1985, PRINCE won the Oscar for Best Original Score with the “Purple Rain” soundtrack.  STEVIE WONDER won the Best Song Oscar for “I Just Called To Say I Love You” (from the film, “The Woman In Red”).

24 years ago . . . In 1990, TOMMY LEE was arrested for exposing his well-hung Hepatitis-laden buttocks (?) during a Georgia concert.

 

 

22 years ago . . . In 1992, COSMONAUT SERGEI KRIKALEV returned to Earth after 10 months on what was only supposed to be a five-month space mission.  He was forced to double his time in space when the Soviet Union CEASED TO EXIST in his absence.  Thankfully, the Ruskies finally coughed up enough rubles to retrieve him.

 

 

20 years ago . . . In 1994, “D2:  The Mighty Ducks” was released . . . starring a young, smooth AND tender JOSHUA JACKSON!

 

 

19 years ago . . . In 1995, the first wiki, WikiWikiWeb, went online.

 

 

19 years ago . . . In 1995, MIKE TYSON was released from prison after serving three years for the rape of beauty pageant contestant DESIREE WASHINGTON.  You can forget about him having been “rehabilitated”.  He STILL claims she made it all up.

 

 

18 years ago . . . In 1996, “Braveheart” won the Best Picture Oscar and MEL GIBSON won Best Director.

 

 

13 years ago . . . In 2001, JULIA ROBERTS won the Best Actress Oscar for “Erin Brockovich” . . . and Hollywood He-Whore RUSSELL CROWE won for “Gladiator”.

 

 

Nine years ago . . . In 2005, PAUL HESTER, the drummer for CROWDED HOUSE, killed himself.

 

 

Eight years ago . . . In 2006, country music legend BUCK OWENS died at his home from an apparent heart attack.  He was 76 years old.

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