Your daily dose of Whatever!!
Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis Are Having a Baby
MILA KUNIS was spotted attending a prenatal yoga class in Hollywood, which supports the rumor that she and ASHTON KUTCHER are expecting. A source says, quote, “They are both very, very happy. It’s still early.”
There’s also no word if pregnancy will affect Mila’s status as a spokeswoman for Jim Beam.
Whether she’s pregnant or not, one thing we do know is that Ashton and Mila locked lips for the L.A. Clippers Kiss Cam.
Yes Or No? Madonna Has Hairy Armpits Now
It’s time once again to play Yes Or No. By now you know the drill. We show you a photo, and you tell us if it’s FETCHING, or if it’s nasty enough to cause WRETCHING.
Today we have MADONNA going all European on us. She posted a picture of herself with a HAIRY ARMPIT, and captioned it, “Long hair . . . don’t care.”
Sexy Pictures of Famous People
1. (NC-17) So how about a gallery of GIFs of the sexiest NAKED MALE BUTTS in Hollywood?
2. Did SELENA GOMEZ post a NAKED picture of herself on Instagram? She LOOKS naked, but she’s behind a sheer curtain, so you can’t really tell for sure.
Meanwhile . . . Selena apparently hangs out with KENDALL JENNER now.
3. AMANDA BYNES was looking uncharacteristically normal and happy at a fashion show.
4. TARA REID is confident enough in her body again to pose in a bikini. Should she be?
5. MEGAN FOX gave birth five weeks ago, and she already looks like this.
6. RIHANNA wore a see-through skit and pink panties.
7. HUGH HEFNER’S wife CRYSTAL posted a picture of her dog relaxing . . . in her BUTTCRACK.
8. SHAKIRA’S cleavage . . . you are very welcome.
9. BRUCE JENNER was wearing crop-tops LONG before his daughters.
10. NAYA RIVERA’S cleavage is back . . . this time without a bra.
Showbiz Video of the Day: Kevin Bacon Recreated Two “Footloose” Dance Scenes on “The Tonight Show”
It’s been 30 years since KEVIN BACON starred in “Footloose”. And he celebrated by recreating a couple dance scenes on “The Tonight Show” on Friday . . . the one where he dances alone in a warehouse, and the one at the end where all the kids dance.
The 40 Most Ridiculously Arrogant Kanye West Quotes
A website came up with a list of the 40 Most Brain-Bendingly Arrogant Kanye West Quotes, and it includes this gem: “For me to say I wasn’t a genius, I would just be lying to you and to myself.” And then there’s this one: “If I don’t win, the award show loses credibility.”
1. “For me, you know, I’m a creative genius, and there’s no other way to word it. I know you’re not supposed to say that about yourself.”
2. “Nobody can tell me where I can and can’t go. Man, I’m the number one living and breathing rock star. I am Axl Rose; I am Jim Morrison; I am Jimi Hendrix.”
3. “I am the number one human being in music. That means any person that’s living or breathing is number two.”
4. “If I were to write my title like going through the airport and you have to put down what you do? I would literally write ‘creative genius’ except for two reasons: Sometimes it takes too long to write that and sometimes I spell the word ‘genius’ wrong. The irony.”
5. “If I was just a fan of music, I would think that I was the number one artist in the world.”
6. “If I don’t win, the award show loses credibility.”
7. “I’m like a vessel, and God has chosen me to be the voice and the connector.”
8. “My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.”
9. “I’m going down as a legend, whether or not you like me or not. I am the new Jim Morrison. I am the new Kurt Cobain . . . The Bible had 20, 30, 40, 50 characters in it. You don’t think that I would be one of the characters of today’s modern Bible?”
10. “Put this in the magazine: There’s nothing more to be said about music. I’m the [effing] end-all, be-all of music.”
11. “For me to say I wasn’t a genius, I would just be lying to you and to myself.”
“Vogue” Put Kim Kardashian on Its Cover . . . and It Was Immediately Spoofed by James Franco and Seth Rogen
If KIM KARDASHIAN was once banned from “Vogue”, she isn’t anymore . . . because the new cover features Kim and Kanye. It was spoofed by SETH ROGEN and JAMES FRANCO, who put themselves in it. And SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR hated it enough to Tweet she’s canceling her subscription.
By the way, remember when SETH ROGEN and JAMES FRANCO did that parody of Kanye and Kim in Kanye’s “Bound 2″ video? Well, now they put out a version of the “Vogue” cover, with THEIR faces Photoshopped over Kanye and Kim’s.
Seth Tweeted it out . . . and said, quote, “It had to be done.”
Justin Bieber Recreated a Classic James Dean Photo . . . But Even Though It Includes a Cigarette, He Says He Doesn’t Smoke
Does JUSTIN BIEBER want to be JAMES DEAN? He recently recreated an old photo of James, complete with a white shirt and a cigarette in his mouth.
He posted the shot on Instagram, with the caption, quote, “This is James Dean inspired. Don’t ask me if I smoke ciggys, cuz I don’t.” (Here’s the direct link to Justin’s photo. Here’s the James pic. And here’s a comparison.)
Jimmy Kimmel Recreated Ellen DeGeneres’ Oscar Selfie . . . with the Clinton Family
JIMMY KIMMEL recreated ELLEN DEGENERES’ now-famous Oscar selfie . . .
But without the celebrities, and with the CLINTONS: BILL, HILLARY and CHELSEA. And he captioned it, quote, “No Brad Cooper but 3 Clintons & a Kimmel.”
He took the photo at the Clinton Global Initiative event where he interviewed Hillary in front of more than 1,000 students. (Here’s the picture.)
Actor James Rebhorn Has Died
Character actor JAMES REBHORN died on Friday, after a long battle with skin cancer. He was 65. You didn’t know his name, but you’d definitely recognize his face. He played the father of CLAIRE DANES’ character on “Homeland” . . . and he was also the District Attorney who sent Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer to jail on the series finale of “Seinfeld” back in 1998.
“Divergent” Made $56 Million at the Box Office
Here are this week’s Top 10 movies:
1. (NEW) “Divergent”, $56 million.
2. (NEW) “Muppets Most Wanted”, $16.5 million.
3. “Mr. Peabody & Sherman”, $11.7 million. Up to $81 million in its 3rd week.
4. “300: Rise of an Empire”, $8.7 million. Up to $93.8 million in its 3rd week.
5. (NEW) “God’s Not Dead”, $8.6 million.
6. “Need for Speed”, $7.8 million. Up to $30.4 million in its 2nd week.
7. “The Grand Budapest Hotel”, $6.8 million. Up to $13 million in its 3rd week of limited release.
8. “Non-Stop”, $6.3 million. Up to $78.6 million in its 4th week.
9. “The LEGO Movie”, $4.1 million. Up to $243 million in its 7th week.
10. “Tyler Perry’s The Single Moms Club”, $3.1 million. Up to $12.9 million in its 2nd week.
They’re Putting Paul Walker’s Face on Other Actors to Finish “Fast & Furious 7″?
The question of how the producers of “Fast & Furious 7″ will finish filming PAUL WALKER’S scenes may have been answered.
The “New York Daily News” says that they hired four actors with similar body types, and they’ll use CGI to put his face on them. They’ll also dub in Paul’s actual voice.
Nobody associated with the movie has confirmed this. It came from an anonymous “source”.
Monday TV Reminders:
• “Dancing with the Stars” . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. Tonight is the first elimination of the season. And with his two bad hips, it would take the intervention of the Jedi Council to save Billy Dee Williams from being the first to go.
• “The Voice” . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC. Aloe Blacc, Jill Scott, Miranda Lambert, and the Band Perry return as advisers as the battle rounds continue.
• “Teen Wolf” [3rd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on MTV.
• “Inside Comedy” . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Showtime. Gilbert Gottfried and Richard Lewis are this week’s guests.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon” – Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carson Daly, and Vampire Weekend.
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” – Kyle MacLachlan (NBC’s “Believe”) and Karmin.
• “Letterman” – Jimmy Carter.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Jennifer Connelly (“Noah”) and Rohan Chand (“Bad Words”), Music Guest: Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings.
• “Carson Daly” – TBA
• “Arsenio” – TGT . . . the R&B supergroup of Tyrese, Ginuwine, and Tank.
• “Conan” – Jeff Garlin from “The Goldbergs”, Andy Daly from Comedy Central’s “Review”, and comedian Todd Barry.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Betty White and Brett Dalton from “Agents of “S.H.I.E.L.D.”.
• “Chelsea Lately” – Drew Brees.
• “Jon Stewart” – Arianna Huffington.
• “The Colbert Report” – Bryan Cranston.
Five Random Facts For Monday
1. Steve Guttenberg beat out HUGE competition to be the star of “Police Academy”. Other actors who auditioned for the role are Bruce Willis, Michael Keaton, Tom Hanks, and Judge Reinhold.
2. Viagra doesn’t just make MEN engorged . . . it can also engorge flowers. If one milligram of Viagra is dissolved in a vase of water, it can make flowers stand up straight without wilting for up to a WEEK longer than usual.
3. JUSTIN BIEBER has never had a number one single in the U.S. His closest was “Boyfriend”, which peaked at number two back in 2012.
4. In the country Mauritania in northern Africa, female CHUBBINESS is considered SO attractive that parents sometimes intentionally fatten up their daughters by giving them huge amounts of food and milk.
5. The shortest war in history was the U.K. versus Zanzibar on August 27th, 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
The Top Four Things Women Wish Their Husbands Would Do
The number one thing women wish their husbands would do more often is . . . VACUUM. It beat out emptying the dishwasher and asking for directions.
2. Empty the dishwasher.
3. Ask for directions.
4. Put the toilet seat down. (PR Newswire)
The Five Things People in Relationships Are Least Likely to Change
A new survey came up with the top things people in relationships are LEAST likely to change. And the top three are: What you eat for breakfast . . . who uses which coffee mug . . . and what time you go to bed.
The top five are . . .
1. What you eat for breakfast.
2. Who uses which coffee mug.
3. What time you go to bed.
4. The brands of food and drinks you buy.
5. The small handful of restaurants you always go to. (FemaleFirst)
You’ll Be More Attractive If You Wear 40% Less Makeup
A new study figured out how much makeup women should wear to look most attractive . . . and it’s a SMALLER amount than you might think. Researchers found that women who wore 40% LESS makeup than usual were rated most attractive.
74% of Women Dress Up For Work on Mondays . . . Only 43% Do By Friday
The women at work will probably look pretty nice and dressed up today. But by Friday, that will NOT be the case. According to a new survey, 74% of women say they dress up for work on Mondays, and try to look as put together and professional as possible. By Wednesday, it’s down to 53%. And by Friday, it’s all the way down to 43%.
The Job With The Highest Percentage of Psychopaths Is . . . CEO
The job with the highest percentage of psychopaths is . . . CEO. That’s followed by lawyers, media personalities, salespeople, and surgeons. The jobs with the fewest psychopaths are care aid, nurse, therapist, craftsperson, and stylist.
A Teacher Gets His Class to Behave By Revealing “Game of Thrones” Spoilers Whenever They Act Up
A math teacher in France found the PERFECT way to get his class to behave. Every time they won’t quiet down, he reveals a SPOILER from “Game of Thrones”. And since he’s read all the books, the spoilers ruin future episodes of the show. Apparently after he revealed one spoiler, the class went SILENT and stayed that way.
What’s a Trend You Wish Would Come Back?
What’s a trend you wish would come back? Some of the most popular answers are hitchhiking, straightforward TV news that’s not partisan, Velcro shoes, fanny packs, and grunge.
1. Hitchhiking. Unfortunately the world seems to be getting filled with crazier and crazier people so this isn’t likely . . . but it would be a great way to get around.
2. TV news going back to being straightforward, non-sensationalized, and non-partisan.
4. Velcro shoes . . . especially if they could become trendy for adults.
5. Fanny packs. They’re so convenient and useful.
6. Grunge music and the grunge look. The music was excellent and giant flannel shirts are really comfortable.
7. People dressing up to go out. Every move now is toward being as casual as possible, and it’s not always for the best.
8. Movies that aren’t remakes or sequels. (Reddit)
Keisha Castle-Hughes is 24. Oscar-nominated “Whale Rider” star. She was also the Queen of Naboo in “Star Wars: Episode 3 – Revenge of the Sith”.
She played the Virgin Mary in “The Nativity Story” in 2006 . . . then she got PREGNANT. Her out-of-wedlock baby turns seven on April 25th.
Jessica Chastain is 37. Oscar nominated ginger from “The Help” and “Zero Dark Thirty”.
Peyton Manning is 38. Super Bowl MVP in 2007. He was NOT the Super Bowl MVP in 2014, because his Broncos got CRUSHED by the Seahawks. But he WAS the NFL MVP.
Alyson Hannigan is 40. Lily on “How I Met Your Mother”. She was also lovely lesbian Willow on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and the “One time at band camp . . .” girl from “American Pie” who stuck a flute in her coot.
Jim Parsons is 41. Sheldon on “The Big Bang Theory”.
Megyn Price is 43. Patrick Warburton’s wife Audrey on “Rules of Engagement”.
Lara Flynn Boyle is 44. She’s had relations with Jack Nicholson.
P.A. Pacemaster Mase from De La Soul is 44.
Houston is 45. Mattress actress who held the World Gangbang Title for receiving 620 men in ONE DAY. (Houston held the record until February of 2002, when some Polish ho named Klaudia Figura let 646 slime-balls incessantly nail her.)
Star Jones is 52. The Kathie Lee Gifford of the new century. (Sadly, she’s no longer a candy-coated chubby. But at least I still have Mo’Nique to satisfy my succulent, chocolate-flavored fantasies.)
The Undertaker is 52. Rasslin’ superstar. Real Name: Mark Calaway. He basically only wrestles once a year these days, at Wrestlemania. He has a Wrestlemania winning streak of 21 and 0. In a few weeks, he’ll try to make it 22 straight wins against former UFC champion Brock Lesnar.
Kelly LeBrock is 54. “Weird Science” [slash] Steven Seagal’s ex. She was also one of the delicious chubbies featured on “Celebrity Fit Club 3″.
NENA is 54. Sexy German singer of “99 Luftballons”, a.k.a. “99 Red Balloons”.
Robert Carradine is 60. The incredibly sexy Lewis Skolnick in the “Revenge of the Nerds” movies. His half-brother, David, should have used a spotter, ya know.
Donna Pescow is 60. Annette, the chubby little slut in “Saturday Night Fever”.
Louie Anderson is 61. The chubby little slut who used to host “Family Feud”. Currently on ABC’s celebrity diving show, “Splash”.
Tommy Hilfiger is 63. He actually attempted to get into a FIST FIGHT with Axl Rose.
Lee Oskar is 66. The harmonica player in War.
R. Lee Ermey is 70. The amazing drill sergeant in “Full Metal Jacket”, the voice of the army sergeant in the “Toy Story” movies, and, well, the drill sergeant in basically every movie, TV show, and commercial, too.
Steve McQueen (1930 – 1980) The king of cool.
Harry Houdini (1874 – 1926)
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 8 days to April Fool’s Day
• 11 days to “Captain America 2″
• 13 days to “Game of Thrones”
• 22 days until your Taxes are Due
• 27 days to Easter Sunday
• 1,033 days left of “Hope and Change”
56 years ago . . . In 1958, at age 23, ELVIS PRESLEY was inducted into the Army in Memphis, Tennessee, and given the serial number 53310761.
29 years ago . . . In 1985, BO DEREK was the big winner at the Razzies for bad acting and delicious nudity in her husband John Derek’s skin flick, “Bolero”.
28 years ago . . . In 1986, LIONEL RICHIE won a Best Song Oscar for “Say You, Say Me” . . . from the Gregory Hines-Mikhail Baryshnikov interracial classic “White Nights”!
25 years ago . . . In 1989, the EXXON VALDEZ rammed a reef off the coast of Alaska . . . leaking 11 MILLION GALLONS of oil into the sea. It took three years and $2 BILLION to clean up.
22 years ago . . . In 1992, a Chicago judge settled the MILLI VANILLI CLASS-ACTION LAWSUIT by approving cash rebates of up to $3 to anyone proving they bought Milli Vanilli music before November 27th, 1990 . . . the date the lip synching scandal broke.
20 years ago . . . In 1994, jackass JOEY BUTTAFUOCO was released 60 days before his six-month sentence was up for the statutory rape of AMY FISHER.
17 years ago . . . In 1997, CUBA GOODING JR. won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for “Jerry Maguire”. In 2002, he starred in that flick about two straight guys on a gay cruise. Then he moved on to “Norbit”. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
12 years ago . . . In 2002, HALLE BERRY became the first African American to win a Best Actress Oscar, for her interracial grinding in “Monster’s Ball”. DENZEL WASHINGTON won Best Actor for his role in “Training Day”.
Nine years ago . . . In 2005, PAULA ABDUL pled no contest to clipping a car on the San Fernando Valley freeway and driving off. She was sentenced to two years of probation, and ordered to pay about $900 in fines and penalties. She also had to give the other driver $775 for the damage she did to his ride.