Your daily dose of Whatever!!
Showbiz Tragedy! Shakira’s Boyfriend Won’t Let Her Do Sexy Videos With Guys Anymore
SHAKIRA says the reason she rolled around half-naked with RIHANNA in her “Can’t Remember to Forget You” video is because her boyfriend won’t let her do that kind of thing with men anymore. But she’s COOL with that. She says, quote, “I like that he protects his turf and he values me.”
But Shakira sees it as kind of a TURN ON. She says, quote, “I like that he protects his turf and he values me, in a way that the only person that he would ever let graze my thigh would be Rihanna.”
(NC-17) Is There a Sex Tape Where Johnny Carson Shows Off 10-Plus Inches?
Someone is supposedly shopping a sex tape JOHNNY CARSON made in the 1970s with his then-wife, which reveals that he was packing MORE THAN 10 INCHES. So far we’ve seen no evidence that it actually exists.
Jennifer Aniston Wants Gisele Bundchen’s Body
If you’ve seen JENNIFER ANISTON’S stripping scenes in “We’re the Millers”, then you know that she doesn’t need to envy ANYONE in the physique department. But it turns out the grass is ALWAYS greener.
Jennifer was asked who she’d choose if she could have any famous person’s body for 24 hours. She said, quote, “I’d love to be able to ski like a crazy person, like Lindsey Vonn. Then I’d also like to have Gisele Bundchen’s body, just ’cause, why not?”
She added, quote, “Would I really want to give it back?”
Sexy Pictures of Famous People
1. If you’re into the pregnant minxes . . . and there’s no shame in that . . . here’s a very well-fetused JENNA FISCHER in a bikini top.
2. Check out KHLOE KARDASHIAN showing cleavage and wearing thigh-high leather stilettos.
3. Here we go again: JUSTIN BIEBER and SELENA GOMEZ were spotted hanging out in Texas on Friday. They went out to breakfast, hit a Starbucks, went shopping, and spent some time at a dance studio.
But judging from the video Justin posted to Instagram yesterday, it might have only been him doing the dancing while Selena just watched.
4. It was kind of funny when CHRIS O’DOWD from “Bridesmaids” and “Girls” ran into DR. RUTH, because she’s 4-foot-7 and he’s 6-foot-3.
5. And now . . . IRELAND BALDWIN, with purple hair, grabbing her boob. She’s fully dressed, so don’t get your hopes up.
6. NICOLE SCHERZINGER looks hot in a bikini, even when she’s making a silly face.
7. The very sexy MATTHEW LEWIS, who played the nerdy Neville Longbottom in the “Harry Potter” movies, engages in a homoerotic dance party on some British TV show he’s doing now.
8. TAYLOR SWIFT and LORDE are still hanging out.
9. Sexy Video: WILL FERRELL kissed another guy’s girl . . . on the cheek . . . for the Lakers’ Kiss Cam.
Kevin Bacon Used to Be Insulted by The Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon
KEVIN BACON HATED “The Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon” when it was invented in 1994. He says, quote, “I thought it was a joke at my expense . . . I found it belittling.” Then he met the guys who made it up and realized they actually LIKED him and weren’t making fun of him.
It’s hard to believe, but 2014 marks the game’s 20th anniversary. It was invented by three guys at Albright College. And meeting them on “The Jon Stewart Show” in 1995 helped Kevin learn to love the game.
He says, quote, “I nearly canceled the appearance because I thought it was going to be embarrassing. But when I met them, I realized they weren’t making fun of me; they actually liked my movies.”
Bacon even USES the game from time to time. Whenever he hears that an actor is coming to work on his show “The Following”, he checks their “Bacon Number”.
That way, when he meets them he doesn’t have one of those embarrassing moments where he says, “Hi, nice to meet you,” and they reply, “Uh, we worked together in 1995.” (In related news . . . THIS.)
“300: Rise of an Empire” Beat “Mr. Peabody & Sherman” at the Box Office
“300: Rise of an Empire” made $45.1 million at the box office this weekend, easily taking the #1 spot. Though that wasn’t anywhere near the original “300”, which made mover $70 million when it was released in 2007.
“Mr. Peabody & Sherman” took 2nd place, bringing in a respectable $32.5 million. And “12 Years a Slave” is back in the Top 10 after its Best Picture win at last weekend’s Oscars. It made $2.2 million in 9th place.
Here are this week’s Top 10 movies:
1. (NEW) “300: Rise of an Empire”, $45.1 million.
2. (NEW) “Mr. Peabody & Sherman”, $32.5 million.
3. “Non-Stop”, $15.4 million. Up to $52.1 million in its 2nd week.
4. “The LEGO Movie”, $11 million. Up to $225 million in its 5th week.
5. “Son of God”, $10 million. Up to $41.5 million in its 2nd week.
6. “The Monuments Men”, $3.1 million. Up to $70.6 million in its 5th week.
7. “3 Days to Kill”, $3.06 million. Up to $25.6 million in its 3rd week.
8. “Frozen”, $3 million. Up to $393 million in its 16th week.
9. “12 Years a Slave”, $2.2 million. Up to $53.1 million in its 21st week.
10. “Ride Along”, $2 million. Up to $130 million in its 8th week.
There’s a Petition Asking That Lupita Nyong’o Replace Halle Berry in Any Future “X-Men” Movies
There’s a new petition on Change.org asking that “12 Years a Slave” star LUPITA NYONG’O replace HALLE BERRY as Storm in any future “X-Men” movies. The petition claims, Lupita, quote, “has the accent, the look, and the acting chops to play Storm as the comic book intended.”
According to the petition, Lupita, quote, “has the accent, the look, and the acting chops to play Storm as the comic book intended.” That’s a reference to Storm being African in the comic books . . . not a Clevelander like Halle.
It goes on, quote, “This petition was started based on the overwhelming responses to my Tweet, ‘I volunteer as tribute to lead a social media charge to get Lupita cast as Storm!” Last we checked, the petition had over 500 signatures.
14 Random Movie Facts You Need to Know
Buzzfeed.com did a video about “31 Movie Facts You Need to Know.” The highlights include: Arnold Schwarzenegger’s $15 million salary for “Terminator 2: Judgment Day” breaks down to $21,429 per word . . . “Psycho” was the first American movie to show a toilet flushing . . . and Ron Jeremy has a cameo in “Ghostbusters”.
1. John Travolta and Uma Thurman’s dance in “Pulp Fiction” is the same as the one in the 1963 Federico Fellini classic “8 1/2″, between the characters Gloria and Mario.
2. Clint Eastwood wore the same poncho through the “Man with No Name” trilogy without ever cleaning it . . . “A Fistful of Dollars”, “For a Few Dollars More” and “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”.
3. Christopher Lee . . . who played Saruman in the “Lord of the Rings” movies . . . is the only member of the cast and crew to have ever met the books’ author, J.R.R. Tolkien.
4. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s $15 million salary for “Terminator 2: Judgment Day” breaks down to $21,429 per word. So the line “Hasta La Vista, Baby” earned him $85,716.
5. All the animals in “The Matrix” are computer-generated.
6. Anthony Hopkins is only on screen for 16 minutes in “The Silence of the Lambs”. The movie is just under two hours long . . . and he won Best Actor.
7. Neil Patrick Harris was considered for the role of Private Ryan in “Saving Private Ryan”. But the part went to Matt Damon.
8. Paula Abdul choreographed the cheerleaders’ dance routine in “American Beauty”.
9. In “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”, the knights run around clapping coconuts together to make it sound like they’re riding horses . . . but only because they couldn’t afford ACTUAL horses.
10. “Psycho” was the first American movie to show a toilet flushing.
11. The name The Beatles was never once mentioned in their movie, “A Hard Day’s Night” . . . even though the original working titles of the movie were first “The Beatles” and then “Beatlemania.”
12. Ron Jeremy has a cameo in “Ghostbusters”. He’s in the crowd outside their headquarters when the containment unit explodes, and all the ghosts get out.
13. The run-time of “Titanic” is three hours and 14 minutes . . . the exact time it took the actual ship to sink.
14. “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” was the favorite film of Adolf Hitler.
Is This a Definitive Ranking of All the “Brady Bunch” Kids?
Saturday was the 40th anniversary of the last “Brady Bunch” episode . . . and to celebrate, the “Huffington Post” put out a “definitive ranking of all the ‘Brady Bunch’ kids.” Jan came in first, followed by Marcia and Greg.
1. Jan. “She may not be the prettiest or the grooviest, but she had the best comebacks, the most sass, and gave a voice to middle children everywhere. Plus, she had the best catch phrase,” which of course was “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.”
2. Marcia. “She’s the prettiest and has the best hair, [however] her obsession over her looks that is ultimately her downfall . . . Marcia believes looks count over everything, which is not the Brady way.”
3. Greg. “He was the oldest, and got some of the better plots like learning to drive or dating girls. He also plays guitar, surfs, [and] wears some of the grooviest outfits ever seen on ’70s TV.”
4. Peter. “[He’s] the definition of a middle child, and with no real personality he unfortunately gets lost in the shuffle of all the other Brady kids. One saving grace is that he became pretty dreamy during his teen years.”
5. Cindy. “The pigtails almost scored Cindy a higher ranking, but when all the girls have ‘hair of gold’ you gotta have more than a cute ‘do to stand out. She had a lisp . . . [and] she was a major tattle-tale, which no one likes.”
6. Bobby. “While cute and all, [he] was the lamest member of the Brady household . . . Bobby might have been one of the smallest Bradys but he always seemed to complicate things the most.”
(Hit up HuffingtonPost.com for the full commentary on each.)
Monday’s TV Reminders:
• “The Bachelor” [18th Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. Juan Pablo chooses between Clare the hot hairstylist and Nikki the naughty nurse. The obligatory hour-long “After the Final Rose” special follows the finale at 10:00 p.m.
• “Believe” [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. A death row inmate is broken out of prison and assigned to protect a 10-year-old girl who has telekinetic and other psychic powers. She’s played by a little girl named Johnny Sequouyah.
You might remember the guy protecting her as Bo on the TV version of “Crash”. Coincidentally, that’s also the girl’s name here.
Alfonso Cuaron, the Oscar-winning director of “Gravity”, created “Believe” and also directs the first episode. J.J. Abrams and Alfonso are both executive producers of the show, and Asiatic minx Jamie Chung is also part of the team protecting the girl.
• “Inside Comedy” . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Showtime. Julia Louis Dreyfus and Dick Van Dyke.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon” – Kristen Bell, Steve Harvey, and Demi Lovato.
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” – Andy Samberg, Busy Philipps, and “Broad City” stars Abbi Jacobson, and Ilana Glazer.
• “Letterman” – John McCain and Little Mix.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Seth Rogen, Snoop Dogg, and White Denim.
• “Carson Daly” – Rob Thomas, Albert Hammmond Jr., and Hell or Highwater.
• “Arsenio” – The cast of “The Single Moms Club”, including Nia Long, Amy Smart, and Wendi McLendon-Covey.
• “Conan” – Kevin Nealon and “Divergent’s” Ansel Elgort. Music Guest: Warpaint.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Emily Mortimer from HBO’s “The Newsroom”, comedian Darrin Rose, and the Alternate Routes.
• “Chelsea Lately” – Minnie Driver.
• “Jon Stewart” – Paul Taylor, author of “The Next America: Boomers, Millennials, and the Looming Generational Showdown”.
• “The Colbert Report” – Neil DeGrasse Tyson from “Cosmos”.
Five Random Facts For Monday
Here are some random facts for you. Two-thirds of the people in the world have never seen snow. Daylight saving time was originally created to save energy . . . but now, because of air conditioning, we use MORE energy. And 2% of people have wiped themselves on the toilet using MONEY.
1. Two-thirds of the people in the world have never seen snow.
2. Daylight saving time was originally created to save energy . . . the theory was more sunlight would lead to less electricity being used. But the OPPOSITE is now true. Because of air conditioning, we use 1% MORE electricity during daylight savings.
3. McDonald’s feeds 68 million people per day . . . or about 1% of the world’s population.
4. 2% of people have wiped themselves on the toilet using MONEY. 8% have wiped with their hands, and 50% have wiped with leaves.
5. There’s one zip line in the world that lets you cross TIME ZONES. You can zip from Andalucia, Spain to Alcoutim, Portugal . . . which is one hour behind.
Having Sex on the First Date Has No Effect on Whether a Guy Will Call You Again
According to a new study from the University of Maryland, having sex on the first date has NO EFFECT on whether a guy will call you again. Researchers found that dates turn into relationships based on whether people like each other and are attracted to each other . . . and the decision WHEN to have sex doesn’t affect anything.
Women Get Turned On Just by Touching Men’s Underwear
A new study found that women get turned on just by touching men’s UNDERWEAR. Researchers found it triggers the reward system in their brain and focuses them on the pleasure that comes from having sex. Naturally, men also get turned on by touching women’s bras.
Twin Sisters Got $200,000 in Plastic Surgery to Look Identical . . . and They Wound Up Looking Identically Frightening
There are 28-year-old fraternal twin sisters in Australia who wanted to look identical, so they spent $200,000 on plastic surgery to make themselves look more alike. They got breast implants, lip enhancements, and tattooed eyebrows . . . plus they eat the same foods, exercise the same, and tan on the same schedule. And it worked . . . but they both look terrifying.
What’s the Most Depressing Meal You’ve Ever Made Yourself?
1. “Flour and water fried up in a skillet. It was the saddest pancake I ever ate.”
2. “While squatting in an empty apartment I once boiled pasta in a mop bucket and ate it with a screwdriver.”
3. “I ate a can of refried beans, cold, in the can . . . and used a knife because I didn’t have any other utensils.”
4. “I had a sandwich of salt and pepper on white bread.”
5. “My roommate and I ate a bag of stale Doritos that came with our apartment.”
6. “I loved a poor man’s steak sandwich and tomato soup. The steak sandwich is A1 sauce on a piece of white bread folded in half . . . the tomato soup is a bowl of hot ketchup and water.” (Reddit)
A Family Was Hospitalized After Eating Steak From Walmart . . . Laced With LSD?
A family in Florida was hospitalized last week, after eating steak from Walmart . . . that was apparently laced with LSD. They all turned out okay, but the woman was pregnant so the doctors induced labor . . . and fortunately her baby was healthy too.
A Woman’s Mummified Body Is Found Five Years After She Died . . . And No One Knew She Was Dead Because of Auto-Pay
There’s a woman in Michigan who died at least five years ago . . . but her body was just discovered last WEEK. It’s because she didn’t have any family, her neighbors thought she’d moved, and all her bills were on AUTO-PAY. She had $54,000 in her bank account when she died, and the money just kept being deducted. When it finally ran out, an investigator from the bank visited and found her.
Disneyland Has Been Invaded by Gangs . . . Exclusive, Hardcore, Disney-Loving Gangs
Apparently, Disneyland has been invaded by GANGS. But these gangs are made up of hardcore Disney-loving fans who wear matching custom gear and get tattoos. For now, Disney is alright with them because they aren’t causing trouble . . . but if they start to be a problem, expect Disney to crack down quickly.
A Guy Dropped $20 in a Storm Drain, Climbed Down a Manhole to Get It . . . And Got Stuck for Two Days
Last week, a man in Oklahoma dropped a $20 bill in a storm drain, climbed down a MANHOLE to get it . . . then couldn’t find his way OUT. Eventually some kids heard him screaming for help, and called 911. Police say he’d completely lost track of time because it was so dark down there, but they estimated he’d been trapped for TWO DAYS. And after all that . . . he didn’t even find the $20 he dropped.
A Mom in Florida Beat Up a 12-Year-Old for Bullying Her Daughter
A 35-year-old woman in Florida BEAT UP a 12-year-old girl last week . . . for BULLYING her daughter. The girl ended up with a cracked tooth and some scratches . . . and the woman was arrested for battery.
CHUCK NORRIS! is 74. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer . . . too bad he has never cried!
Emily Osment is 22. Miley Cyrus’ best friend Lily on “Hannah Montana”. She’s also the younger sister of “Sixth Sense” superstar Haley Joel Osment.
Olivia Wilde is 30. The secretive and sexy Dr. “Thirteen” on “House”. She was also in “Tron: Legacy” and in Jon Favreau’s sci fi western “Cowboys & Aliens”. Currently carrying the child of her very lucky boyfriend Jason Sudeikis in her womb.
Carrie Underwood is 31. Arguably the biggest “American Idol” success story. That’s right, I went there. Eat it, Kelly Clarkson, Jennifer Hudson, and Daughtry.
Bree Turner is 37. Rosalee, Monroe’s adorable girlfriend on “Grimm”.
Micki Lynn is 41. Mattress actress who starred in 210 fine films, including . . . “Sheepless in Montana”, “Milli Vanilla”, “Anus the Menace” AND “The New Adventures of Mr. Tootsie Pole 2: Menage A Pole”! (?)
Jon Hamm is 43. Mantastic star of A&E’s “Mad Men”. Known for having a HUGE unit and frequently going commando! Also gave it to Kristen Wiig GOOD AND HARD in “Bridesmaids”.
Timbaland is 43. Superstar rapper and producer. And yes, he got his stage name because he liked wearing Timberland boots. His real name is the less-hardcore Timothy Zakar Mosley.
Paget Brewster is 45. Sexy special agent Emily Prentiss on “Criminal Minds”.
Edie Brickell is 48. Best known for her smash hit? with her band New Bohemians, “What I Am”. She gets to nail Paul Simon anytime she wants to!
NENEH CHERRY! is 50. Looking good in a “Buffalo Stance”.
JASMINE GUY! is 52. “A Different World”, starring KADEEM HARDISON!
SHANNON TWEED! is 57. Softcore queen, and Gene Simmons’ wife as of October of 2011. She lets Gene hit ANYTHING HE WANTS!
Jeff Ament is 51. Pearl Jam’s bassist.
MITCH GAYLORD! is 53. 1984 Olympic Gold medalist who has TWO gymnastics techniques named after him: The Gaylord Two and the Gaylord Flip!
Lance Burton is 54. Master Vegas magician!
Sharon Stone is 56. Currently COUGARING with a 27-year-old dude.
Osama Bin Laden would have been 57. (1957 – 2011)
Tom Scholz is 67. Lead guitarist, keyboardist and songwriter for Boston . . . who also has a master’s degree from MIT. Biggest Hit: “More than a Feeling”. He’s so smart, he drove Brad Delp to SUICIDE. Allegedly. Make SURE you say “allegedly”, or Tom WILL sue you.
Dean Torrence is 74. He IS the Dean of JAN & DEAN!
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 7 days to St. Patrick’s Day
• 7 days to Dancing with the Stars
• 22 days to April Fool’s Day
• 25 days to “Captain America 2″
• 27 days to “Game of Thrones”
• 1,047 days left of “Hope and Change”
165 years ago . . . In 1849, an Illinois attorney received a patent for an inflatable airbag to lift grounded boats off sandbars. However, the inventor . . . one ABE LINCOLN . . . was too busy pursuing politics and the invention never developed.
138 years ago . . . In 1876, ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL transmitted the FIRST TELEPHONE MESSAGE, to his assistant in the next room: “Mr. Watson, come here, I want you.” It sounds gay, but Bell was actually in a panic because he had spilled acid on his clothes.
134 years ago . . . In 1880, THE SALVATION ARMY arrived in the U.S., after being created in England.
37 years ago . . . In 1977, astronomers discovered RINGS around URANUS. (Luckily, a good ANAL BLEACHING can take care of that these days.) (?)
36 years ago . . . In 1978, the BEE GEES’ “Night Fever” moved into the #1 spot on the chart . . . replacing another masterpiece from the Brothers Gibb, “Stayin’ Alive”.
26 years ago . . . In 1988, ANDY GIBB died of a heart ailment. He was only 30 hairless years old.
16 years ago . . . In 1998, LLOYD BRIDGES died in Westwood, California. He was 85.
14 years ago . . . In 2000, VINCE GILL married AMY GRANT. Today is their 14th Anniversary.
Eight years ago . . . In 2006, the Louisiana Supreme Court overturned C-MURDER’S murder conviction for (allegedly) shooting a 16-year-old outside a nightclub back in 2002. He was retried and reconvicted, and he’s doing life now.
Seven years ago . . . In 2007, comedian RICHARD JENI committed suicide by shooting himself. His family said he’d been diagnosed with clinical depression and bouts of psychotic paranoia.