Whatever 2.7
Your daily dose of whatever includes:
- Today's opening movies!
- Jay Leno has his last show...
- Facts for a Friday!
Jay Leno's Final "Tonight Show" . . . Kim Kardashian Sang . . . and Jay Did Tear Up Saying Goodbye
JAY LENO'S final "Tonight Show" included guest appearances by Billy Crystal, Jack Black, Carol Burnett, Jim Parsons, Sheryl Crow, Oprah Winfrey, President Obama and Kim Kardashian . . . who SANG, but only briefly. He signed off by saying, quote, "It really is time to go, hand it off to the next guy. It really is."
Kim was part of an ensemble that sang a specially-tweaked version of "So Long, Farewell" from "The Sound of Music". Her line was, quote, "So long, farewell, tonight I told my folks. And now, I won't be the butt of Leno's jokes."
Billy Crystal, Jack Black, Carol Burnett, Jim Parsons, Sheryl Crow and Oprah Winfrey all showed up to add verses, too. (Here's video.)
After Leno's monologue they went to a video of celebrities telling Jay what he can do now that he's retired.
Those celebrities included PRESIDENT OBAMA, who joked he was making Leno ambassador to Antarctica as payback for all the jokes he's told about him.
Jay didn't break down until the end of the show, when he gave a final speech. He said, quote, "This has been the greatest 22 years of my life." He talked about how lucky he was and thanked the audience. Then he thanked his staff.
He said, quote, "The first year of this show, I lost my mom. The second year, I lost my dad. Then my brother died. After that I was pretty much out of family, and the folks here became my family . . .
"People say to me, 'Why didn't you go to ABC, to Fox?' I don't know anybody over there. These are the only people I have ever known."
He finished off with the words that JIMMY FALLON was probably hoping to hear . . . quote, "It really is time to go, hand it off to the next guy. It really is." (Check out the whole thing here.)
Sexy Pictures of Famous People
1. (NC-17) MILEY CYRUS is topless again. She posted some UNCENSORED photos from the German edition of "Vogue", plus a CENSORED picture of herself in bed with two guys, from her "W" magazine photo shoot.
2. Check out SCARLETT JOHANSSON, KATE WINSLET and BRAD PITT without makeup. (I don't wanna be mean about it, but Kate definitely looks the worst.)
3. LINDSAY LOHAN ran into the guy who played Damian in "Mean Girls" the other night.
4. It's rare that I don't have time for pictures of a partially-clothed GISELE BUNDCHEN.
5. MANDY MOORE gets her Iron Maiden t-shirts dry-cleaned.
6. MIRANDA KERR'S cleavage and a stuffed tiger. It just seems to work.
7. NICKI MINAJ shows off her real hair . . . and her unreal boobs.
Oprah Says She Can Chill Now That She's 60
For OPRAH WINFREY, the best thing about being 60 is that she can finally CHILL. She says, quote, "You are through with the bull[crap] . . . You are chilled, and you have nothing to prove, and you can sit above that perch with a sense of knowing that you are who you want to be, inside and out, and it's good. Life is good."
Charlie Sheen Apologized to Ashton Kutcher . . . and Then Threatened Him
This week, ASHTON KUTCHER called out CHARLIE SHEEN for slamming the work he's doing on "Two and a Half Men". Now, Charlie is apologizing to Ashton . . . but he's also THREATENING him, saying that if Ashton ever calls him out again he'll "put him on a hospital food diet for a year."
Mia Farrow Sent Woody Allen a Psychotic Valentine With a Knife Stuck Through It in 1992
In a "60 Minutes" interview from 1992, WOODY ALLEN showed a Valentine he received from MIA FARROW. It was a picture of Mia and her kids, with metal skewers and a steak knife stabbed through it. He also said she frequently threatened to kill him and cut out his eyes.
But Mia stuck what look like metal SKEWERS into everybody. And she stabbed a STEAK KNIFE through the picture . . . right into her own heart.
Oh, and she taped what appears to be a picture of SOON YI on the handle of the knife. (Check out pictures here.)
Leonardo DiCaprio Has Never Done Drugs
LEONARDO DICAPRIO has been in Hollywood for well over 20 years . . . but he's never once done drugs. He says, quote, "Never done it. That's because I saw this stuff literally every day [in my neighborhood] when I was three or four years old. So Hollywood was a walk in the park for me."
"I'd go to parties, and it was there and, yeah, there's that temptation." Leonardo says the L.A. neighborhood he grew up in was filled with prostitution, drug addicts and gang violence.
Now, we're assuming Leonardo's definition of "drugs" includes marijuana, but he isn't completely sober. He drinks, and has admitted to partying a lot in his younger days. He also has a major tobacco habit, and is really into e-cigarettes right now.
But apparently, it was all ACTING when you saw his character do cocaine and Quaaludes in his new movie, "The Wolf of Wall Street".
"The LEGO Movie" and "The Monuments Men" Are in Theaters
1. "The Monuments Men" (PG-13) Trailer
A World War II movie based on the real life mission to recover stolen art masterpieces before the Nazis could destroy them.
George Clooney directed it, and leads a platoon of seven museum directors and art historians, including Matt Damon, Bill Murray, and John Goodman. Cate Blanchett is in it too, as a member of the French Resistance.
2. "The LEGO Movie" (PG) Trailer
Chris Pratt plays Emmett, an ordinary Lego figure who's mistakenly identified as the one person destined to save the Lego world from an evil tyrant.
Will Ferrell plays the bad guy, and Morgan Freeman is the ancient wizard who predicts Emmett will become the greatest Master Builder of all time.
Elizabeth Banks is the hot Lego chick who starts to fall for Emmett, even though she's already dating Batman . . . who's voiced by Will Arnett.
Liam Neeson, Channing Tatum, Jonah Hill, and Shaq do some of the other voices.
This Weekend's New Movies (continued)
3. "Vampire Academy" (PG-13) Trailer
It's about a princess at a boarding school for vampires, and her best friend, who's assigned to protect her from being killed. Australian actress Lucy Fry is the princess, and Zoey Deutch from "Ringer" is the friend.
Sarah Hyland from "Modern Family" and Bond girl Olga Kurylenko are in it too.
4. And now, some limited releases you may or may not care about:
• "A Fantastic Fear of Everything" stars Simon Pegg as a paranoid novelist who, among his other irrational fears, thinks he's being stalked by a serial killer. (Trailer)
• "Cavemen" stars Skylar Astin from "Pitch Perfect" as a guy who gives up his empty one-night stands to find true love with Camilla Belle. "One Tree Hill's" Chad Michael Murray and "Footloose" stud Kenny Wormald play his roommates. (Trailer)
• "The Pretty One" stars Zoe Kazan as a girl who assumes the identity of her outgoing twin sister after they're in a car accident and everyone assumes she's the one who died. Jake Johnson from "New Girl" is the guy she falls in love with. (Trailer)
• "Love and Air Sex" is a romantic comedy about couples who break up and then act out their revenge at the Air Sex World Championships, where you have two minutes to perform a simulated sexual encounter set to music. (Trailer)
Upcoming Netflix, CD, DVD, Games, and Theatrical Releases
Theatrical Releases for Next Friday, February 14th:
• "Robocop" . . . starring Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, and Michael Keaton.
• "Endless Love" . . . starring Alex Pettyfer and Gabriella Wilde.
• "About Last Night" . . . starring Kevin Hart and Michael Ealy.
• "Winter's Tale" . . . starring Colin Farrell, Jennifer Connelly, and Russell Crowe.
Coming Soon to Netflix Instant Streaming:
• "House of Cards: Season 2" will be out next Friday, February 14th.
DVDs for Tuesday, February 11th:
• "Ender's Game" . . . starring Asa Butterfield and Harrison Ford.
• "All is Lost" . . . starring Robert Redford as a guy lost at sea.
• "Diana" . . . starring Naomi Watts as Princess Diana.
• "The Anna Nicole Story" . . . starring Agnes Bruckner as Anna Nicole Smith.
• The second season of the new "Dallas", which includes J.R.'s funeral.
• The third season of "Sherlock", which explains how he faked his own death.
Games for Tuesday, February 11th:
• "Lightning Returns: Final Fantasty XIII" on the Xbox360 and PS3
CDs for Tuesday, February 11th:
• "Samson and Delilah", Ace Young and Diana DeGarmo
• "Dizzy Heights", Neil Finn of Crowded House
• "The Outsiders", country singer Eric Church
• The second soundtrack album from HBO's "Girls"
• "Disney Channel Play It Loud", featuring the stars of various Disney shows.
Are Producers Planning to "Digitally Recreate" Philip Seymour Hoffman to Finish His Last "Hunger Games" Scenes?
The "New York Post" claims the producers of "The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 2" have decided to finish shooting PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN'S scenes . . . by DIGITALLY RE-CREATING him. Supposedly, they're doing it using "computer graphics and camera tricks."
Matt Damon Thinks It's Funny That His Puppet in "Team America: World Police" Was Mentally Challenged
MATT DAMON says he thought it was hilarious that he was portrayed as mentally challenged in the 2004 puppet movie "Team America: World Police". He also says he heard that the filmmakers decided to do that because the puppet came to them looking "mentally deficient" and they didn't have time to change it.
• "Oprah: Where Are They Now?" . . . Friday from 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on OWN. It includes updates on Rick Springfield and the Village People.
• "Olympics Opening Ceremony" . . . Friday from 7:30 to 11:30 P.M. on NBC.
• "Primetime Olympics Coverage" . . . Saturday from 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. Saturday's events include freestyle skiing, the ice-dancing short program for team figure skating, and the slopestyle snowboarding finals.
Shaun White was SUPPOSED to compete in the slopestyle snowboarding event but he backed out at the last minute, saying he wants to focus solely on getting his third straight gold medal in the halfpipe instead.
• "Primetime Olympics Coverage" . . . Sunday from 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. Sunday's events include men's downhill Alpine skiing, women's slopestyle snowboarding, and men's ski jumping . . . with medals in team figure skating.
• "That Metal Show" features Ted Nugent as this week's guest this Saturday at 11:00 P.M. Eastern on VH1 Classic.
• "The Night That Changed America: A Grammy Salute to the Beatles" is a Beatles special airing Sunday from 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the night they appeared on "The Ed Sullivan Show".
It includes modern artists covering classic Beatles songs. The performers include Maroon 5, Annie Lennox and Dave Stewart reuniting as the Eurythmics, Alicia Keys singing with John Legend, and John Mayer performing with Keith Urban.
• "The Walking Dead" returns Sunday and we find out who survived the prison being overrun. It airs at 9:00 P.M. on AMC, and is followed by "The Talking Dead".
Tonight's Late Night Talk Shows:
• "Letterman" - Amy Adams ("American Hustle").
• "Jimmy Kimmel" -Morgan Freeman, Anna Faris, and Motley Crue.
• "The Tonight Show" - Preempted for Olympics coverage.
• "Jimmy Fallon" - Andy Samberg and the Muppets.
• "Carson Daly" -Preempted for Olympics coverage.
• "Arsenio" -Drew Carey and Charlamagne Tha God.
• "Craig Ferguson" - Tom Lennon and Sarah Paulson.
• "Chelsea Lately" - Vanessa Hudgens. (Repeat)
Five Random Facts For Friday
1. At a gym, the first muscles women look at on a man are his BACK muscles. The first thing a man looks at on a woman is her BUTT.
2. Like a lot of languages, the language in Finland doesn't have any gender-specific pronouns. Like . . . they don't have different words for "he" and "she." Which obviously causes problems for Finnish people who learn languages like English.
3. Your eardrums rupture at 150 decibels . . . slightly louder than a jet engine going off right next to you. Your lungs would rupture at 200 decibels . . . but it's impossible for a sound to be louder than 194 decibels, because the air breaks down the sound waves.
4. The phrase "seven-year itch" used to describe SCABIES . . . because back before they could be treated, they lasted for seven years. It became a metaphor for a situation with no hope for relief . . . including boring marriages.
5. The "New York Times" had ELIZABETH TAYLOR'S obituary written for so long that the guy who wrote it died SIX YEARS before she did. The writer was a theater critic who died at age 71 in 2005 . . . Elizabeth Taylor died at age 79 in 2011.
(FemaleFirst / Wikipedia / PopSci / Wikipedia / Wall Street Journal)
The Top Five Ways People Waste Time at Work
According to a new survey, here are the top five ways people waste time at work: Talking and socializing with coworkers . . . Internet and social media . . . personal calls and emails . . . work emails . . . and meetings.
What Was the Worst Job You Ever Had?
What was the worst job you ever had? A few of the best ones we've heard are a telemarketer who scared old people into buying crappy life insurance . . . a bath and body store saleswoman who had to massage every customer's hands . . . and the janitor at a disgusting college bar.
(Reddit)
Your Chances of Having Sex On Valentine's Day Go Up 42% If You Spend the Night in a Hotel
According to a new survey, 64% of people in relationships say they're more likely to WATCH TV on Valentine's Day than have sex. How do you fix that? Change the venue. Your chances of having sex on Valentine's Day go up 42% if you spend the night in a HOTEL.
A Teenager on a Field Trip for Anatomy Class Took a Selfie with a Cadaver
A high school senior in Alabama went on a field trip to the University of Alabama Birmingham with her anatomy class . . . and took a SELFIE next to a CADAVER . . . then posted it to INSTAGRAM. School officials are still figuring out how to punish her.
A Woman Wakes Up to Pet Her Cat . . . Turns Out It's a Wild Raccoon That Attacks Her
On Wednesday morning, a 73-year-old woman in Massachusetts woke up and thought she felt her CAT nuzzling her in bed . . . only it was actually a WILD RACCOON that had gotten into the house through the cat door. And it ended up ATTACKING her. She was hospitalized with scratches and bites on her face and fingers, and they're testing her for rabies.
A School Celebrates Black History Month By Serving Fried Chicken, Cornbread, and Watermelon?
A high school in northern California just tried to honor Black History Month by serving a special lunch menu . . . featuring fried chicken, cornbread, and watermelon. But students and parents were outraged, and the principal of the school ended up apologizing.
A Woman Gets 20 Months in Prison For Cyberbullying . . . Herself
A 24-year-old woman in England just got 20 months in prison for cyberbullying . . . HERSELF. Three years ago, she wanted to make her father's life hell, so she set up fake Facebook profiles for him, his new wife, and other relatives . . . then sent THREATENING and SEXUAL messages to herself from those profiles. The cops eventually traced them to her and she was arrested
James Deen is 28. Porno man-slut who had the "privilege" of costarring with Lindsay Lohan in "The Canyons". He also tackled THE DIFFICULT BROWN in the Farrah Abraham sex tape, "Backdoor Teen Mom".
Deborah Ann Woll is 29. Jessica Hamby on "True Blood", whose HYMEN GROWS BACK each time after she's had sex. How cool is that?!
Ashton Kutcher is 36. Now free to sample all the Mila Kunis action he wants.
Steve Nash is 40. Token NBA honky with the Los Angeles Lakers. Looks goofy . . . but nailed Elizabeth Hurley.
Robyn Lively is 42. "Teen Witch", "Karate Kid 3", and the older sister of Ryan Reynolds' wife Blake Lively.
Sully Erna is 46. Godsmack.
Chris Rock is 49.
JASON GEDRICK is 49. Superstar of "IRON EAGLE"!
GARTH BROOKS is 52. Officially unretired. He gives it to chubbilicious Trisha Yearwood REAL GOOD.
Eddie Izzard is 52. British transvestite stand-up comedian who played the HI-larious Mr. Kite in "Across the Universe".
Kimberly Kane is 53. Blonde porn star from the '90s who starred in 79 fine films, including "50 Ways to Lick Your Lover", "Breast Side Story", AND "City Lickers"!
Robert Smigel is 54. He IS Triumph the Insult Comic Dog!)
James Spader is 54. "The Blacklist". And he's playing the villain Ultron in next year's "Avengers" sequel. Hard to believe he got his start as the little pervert in "Pretty in Pink", and the big pervert in "Sex, Lies, and Videotape".
Steve Bronski is 54. Bronski Beat!
Miguel Ferrer is 59. Asst. Director Granger on "NCIS: Los Angeles". He's José Ferrer's and Rosemary Clooney's son, AND George Clooney's half-Hispanic cousin!
Laura Ingalls Wilder (1867 - 1957) Children's author: "Little House on the Prairie". Melissa Gilbert played her on the show. I miss you Half-Pint!
Charles Dickens (1812 - 1870) Responsible for "The Muppets Christmas Carol".
John Deere (1804 - 1886) Tractor guy.
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• The Olympics start today
• 2 days to "The Walking Dead"
• 7 days to Valentine's Day
• 17 days until "The Voice" returns
• 23 days to the Oscars
• 1,078 days left of "Hope and Change"
132 years ago . . . in 1882 - The last BARE-KNUCKLE FIGHT for the heavyweight boxing title went down in Mississippi City. JOHN L. SULLIVAN knocked out Paddy Ryan in the ninth round.
92 years ago . . . in 1922 - "Reader's Digest" began publication with 5,000 copies. Today they move more than 27 MILLION copies worldwide. They also help me during MY movements. Perfect toilet reading. Perfect.
74 years ago . . . in 1940 - WALT DISNEY'S animated film "Pinocchio" was released.
(1971 would see the release of the non-Disney version, "The Erotic Adventures of Pinocchio" . . . complete with the tagline, "It's Not His Nose That Grows!" Seriously, it was a real movie. Google it.)
72 years ago . . . in 1943 - The U.S. began RATIONING SHOES, limiting consumers to THREE PAIRS PER PERSON for the remainder of the year.
65 years ago . . . in 1949 - JOE DIMAGGIO signed with the Yankees for $100,000 . . . the first six-figure contract in the major leagues. (The AVERAGE salary in baseball is now almost $3.3 million.)
50 years ago . . . in 1964 - THE BEATLES arrived at New York's Kennedy Airport for their first appearance on "The Ed Sullivan Show". It was also the day that BASKIN-ROBBINS introduced "BEATLE-NUT" ice cream. (True, BUT WHO KNEW?)
40 years ago . . . in 1974 - "Blazing Saddles" was released . . . starring MEL BROOKS in four different roles, HARVEY KORMAN in three roles, GENE WILDER as the Waco Kid and CLEAVON LITTLE as Bart, the kick-ass Black Sheriff of Rock Ridge.
38 years ago . . . in 1976 - Paul Simon's "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover" hit #1 on the charts! Perhaps things would be different today if O.J. had only chosen one of them.
29 years ago . . . in 1985 - "Sports Illustrated" released their annual SWIMSUIT ISSUE . . . with PAULINA PORIZKOVA on her second cover. RIC OCASEK (the lead singer and rhythm guitarist for The Cars) gets to nail her anytime he wants to.
26 years ago . . . in 1988 - "America's Most Wanted" debuted on Fox.
26 years ago . . . in 1988 - MIKE TYSON entered into holy matrimony with the woman who became his downfall . . . ROBIN GIVENS. They divorced on Valentine's Day the next year.
20 years ago . . . in 1994 - BLIND MELON'S lead singer SHANNON HOON was ejected from the American Music Awards for loud and disruptive behavior. He was eventually charged with battery, assault, resisting arrest and destroying a police station phone.
Blind Melon's lead singer Shannon Hoon is dead, ya know. The Horse. JUNKIES SUCK!
(Blind Melon is still around . . . with a new singer, obviously.)
20 years ago . . . in 1994 - HOWARD STERN convinced a man who called into his radio show not to jump off the George Washington Bridge. At one point he told the jumper that he had a movie coming out and that he would miss it if he took the plunge.
17 years ago . . . in 1997 - SARAH MCLACHLAN married her extremely lucky drummer Ashwin Sood. They're separated but today would technically be their 17th Anniversary.
14 years ago . . . in 2000 - With an astonishing comeback at the Pebble Beach National Pro-Am, TIGER WOODS got his sixth straight PGA Tour victory, becoming the first player . . . interracial or otherwise . . . since Ben Hogan in 1948 to win six in a row.
14 years ago . . . in 2000 - Tragedy struck when 698-POUND Latino rapper BIG PUN died of a massive coronary. At the time of his death, Big Pun's heart was FOUR TIMES the normal size.
13 years ago . . . in 2001 - DALE EVANS passed away at the age of 88.
Four years ago . . . in 2010 - The NEW ORLEANS SAINTS beat the INDIANAPOLIS COLTS 31-17 in Super Bowl XLIV. It was the first championship in Saints history.
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