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Whatever 12.19

Your daily dose of whatever includes:

  • “Duck Dynasty” star suspended from show.
  • Feeling right is better than happy.
  • Orlando Bloom says making women happy is most important.

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

1.  (NC-17)  A topless photo of GISELE BUNDCHEN went completely unnoticed on the Internet.  But only for about 12 hours.  (WARNING!!!  Glorious nudity ahead.)

2.  (NC-17)  BROOKLYN DECKER suffered a nip-slip during a bikini photo shoot.  (WARNING!!!  Half-moon nipple ahead.)

3.  HUGH JACKMAN shirtless at the beach?  I don’t suppose I could talk you out of looking, could I?

4.  JON HAMM’S Christmas gift to you?  Jeans and no underwear.

5.  If for some reason you’d like to see Christmas card photos from Michael Lohan, Sydney Leathers and the Tan Mom, TMZ has your hookup.

6.  ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO in a red bikini and reindeer antlers on the beach is one of the most confusing Christmas images you’ll ever love.

7.  This is a lot more disturbing than you think it’s going to be:  It’s a collection of photos and GIFs of shirtless actors with huge nipples Photoshopped onto their chests.

8.  BRAD PITT turned 50 yesterday, and AARP Magazine put him on a mock cover.  Meanwhile, here’s a picture of Brad at the age of 14.  (And here’s a quick time-waster for you: Click on the actress to find out if Brad nailed her.)

9.  Are these the 15 Hottest Male Celebrities Older Than 50?

10.  Are these the 10 Most Epic Abs in Movie History?

11.  And now . . . IAN MCKELLEN and PATRICK STEWART sit on Santa’s lap.

12.  Check out a gallery of celebrities in classic works of art.  The portraits for Robin Williams, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sean Connery are really well done.

Orlando Bloom Says the Goal of Men Should Be to Make All Mothers Happy 

In a recent interview, ORLANDO BLOOM said one of the things he’s learned through his studies of Buddhism is, quote, “The goal of men and the world should be to make all mothers happy.  Women, as mothers of the earth, deserve the utmost respect.”  But he refused to answer questions about his soon-to-be ex-wife MIRANDA KERR.

Showbiz Video of the Day:  A Man Tried to Offer Pamela Anderson $1 Million to Quit Acting 

PAMELA ANDERSON was in Canada on Tuesday with a group of activists who were offering $1 million to the Canadian Sealers Association if they would END a yearly seal hunt.

But Mark Critch, a comedian from a satirical news show called “This Hour Has 22 Minutes,” showed up and offered Pam an equivalent payout … if she would QUIT ACTING.  Obviously, she tried to ignore him.  (Here’s video.)

At first, he calls it a million-dollar check. But later he drives home the point that there are so many people in the sealers’ association that Pam’s bribe only amounts to $165 per person. So THAT’S the amount that he was offering her. Classic.

Did Martha Stewart Just Dis Gwyneth Paltrow? 

GWYNETH PALTROW has been trying to rebrand herself as some kind of lifestyle guru these days. But it sounds like the OG of domestic goddesses, MARTHA STEWART, isn’t impressed.

The paparazzi asked Martha which of them was the “better lifestyle coach.”And she replied, quote, “Oh, for heaven’s sake, you have to live to be a coach.”  (Here’s video.)

An Ohio Man Died on a Skydiving Trip His Wife Won on “Ellen” 

An Ohio man died in a skydiving accident in Australia on Saturday … and ELLEN DEGENERES is to blame.  Well, not really.  But she probably feels kind of bad about it, because the guy’s wife won the skydiving trip on her show last January.

Cherilyn McGraw did a tandem jump. But her husband, Brandon, a Marine with skydiving experience, jumped solo.

It was all going well until the end. An employee from the skydiving school said that just before landing, Brandon turned sharply left, then right, then crashed into the ground.  He was pronounced dead at the scene.  (Check out some pictures here.)

There’s No Evidence Anything But Speed Caused Paul Walker’s Crash 

The Associated Press says investigators have determined that “speed and speed alone” caused the crash that killed PAUL WALKER and his friend.  They’ve found no evidence that mechanical failure or road debris had anything to do with it.

This isn’t official though, and TMZ says it’s NOT TRUE.  They say Porsche engineers from Germany are still being brought in to investigate the wreckage.

A tabloid claims that someone who was at the scene of the accident is trying to sell photos of the burned bodies of the two men before they were removed from the car.  (Meanwhile, Paul’s 15-year-old daughter Meadow went to the premiere of Justin Bieber’s new movie.)

Paul Rudd Will Play Ant Man 

PAUL RUDD has been chosen to play Marvel’s next superhero, Ant Man … whose power, obviously, is that he can shrink down to the size of an insect.

The movie is due out in the summer of 2015, and it’ll be directed by EDGAR WRIGHT, who did “Shaun of the Dead,”“Hot Fuzz,”“The World’s End” and “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.”

In the comics, Ant Man was a founding member of The Avengers. There’s no word if he’ll be rolled into any future “Avengers” movies.

And Now . . . A 28-Minute Video of Every Arnold Scwharzenegger Kill Ever –All 509 of Them 

Someone took the time to make a 28-minute video compilation of every ARNOLD SCHWAZENEGGER kill ever.  And they counted 509, going all the way back to the 1969 cinematic classic “Hercules In New York”.

We should note that some people in the comments section claim there are kills MISSING.  But even if that’s the case, this is an impressive accomplishment. 

At the end of the video, they even break down the kill methods by number.  For instance, 278 were by firearm, 91 by explosion and five by CRUSHING.  (Check it out here.  WARNING!!!  Obviously, it’s loaded with violence . . . and there’s a little bit of PROFANITY here and there.)

Is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s “I’ll Be Back” the Best Movie Catchphrase Ever? 

According to a new poll by a British streaming service called LOVEFiLM, ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER’S“I’ll Be Back” is the Best Movie Catchphrase Ever.  It was followed by “Bond.  James Bond,” … which is from, like, every James Bond movie.

1.  “I’ll be back.”  “The Terminator”,  1985

2.  “Bond.  James Bond.”  All of them.  (???)

3.  “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.”  “Mary Poppins”,  1964

4.  “Who you gonna call?”  “Ghostbusters,”1984

5.  “Elementary, my dear Watson!”  “The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes”, the original 1939 version starring Basil Rathbone as Holmes.

 6.  “Heeeere’s Johnny!”  “The Shining,”  1980

 7.  “Run Forrest Run!”  “Forrest Gump,”  1994

 8.  “You talking to me?”  “Taxi Driver,”1976

 9.  “Goooood morning, Vietnam!”  “Good Morning Vietnam,”  1988

 10.  “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”  “Apocalypse Now,”  1979

Phil Robertson Was Suspended from “Duck Dynasty” for Saying Some Terrible Stuff About Gay People and African Americans 

A&E suspended “Duck Dynasty’s” PHIL ROBERTSON indefinitely, after a crazy interview where he equated gay people with “drunks and terrorists” . . . and insisted that he believes black people were happy BEFORE the Civil Rights movement, a time he refers to as, quote, “pre-entitlement.”

A&E said, quote, “We’re extremely disappointed to have read Phil Robertson’s comments, which are based on his own personal beliefs and are not reflected in the series ‘Duck Dynasty’.

“The network has placed Phil under hiatus from filming indefinitely.” 

The show’s fourth season premieres on Jan. 15 … and he’ll probably appear in most of it since, at this point, most of the season has already been filmed.

In the interview, Phil said his family believes “strongly” that, quote, “if the human race loved each other and they loved God, we would just be better off.”

But Phil had some not-so-loving things to say about the gay community.

The 100 Most-Watched Shows on the Broadcast Networks This Fall 

“Entertainment Weekly” has a new list of the 100 most-watched shows on the major broadcast networks this fall. 

NCIS” is  No. 1, with an average of 21.8 million viewers . . . followed by “Sunday Night Football”, with 21.5 million.

1.  “NCIS,” 21.8 million viewers  (CBS)

2.  “Sunday Night Football,” 21.5 million viewers  (NBC)

3.  “The Big Bang Theory,” 21.3 million viewers  (CBS)

4.  “NCIS: Los Angeles,” 16.8 million viewers  (CBS)

5.  “The Blacklist”, 16.6 million viewers  (NBC)

6.  “Person of Interest,” 16 million viewers  (CBS)

7.  “Sunday Night Football, Pre-Show,” 15.6 million viewers  (NBC)

8.  “Dancing with the Stars,” 15 million viewers  (ABC)

9.  “Sunday NFL on Fox” postgame show, 14.85 million viewers  (Fox)

10.  Monday episodes of “The Voice,” 14.84 million viewers  (NBC)

 11.  “Blue Bloods,” 14.4 million viewers  (CBS)

 12.  “Castle,” 14.3 million viewers  (ABC)

13.  Tuesday episodes of “The Voice,” 14 million viewers  (NBC)

14.  “Criminal Minds,” 13.6 million viewers  (CBS)

 15.  “60 Minutes,” 13.5 million viewers  (CBS)

 16.  “Modern Family”, 13.3 million viewers  (ABC)

 17.  “Elementary,” 12.9 million viewers  (CBS)

 18.  “Hawaii Five-0,” 12.42 million viewers  (CBS)

 19.  “CSI,” 12.4 million viewers  (CBS)

 20.  “The Millers,” 12.2 million viewers  (CBS)

Thursday TV Reminders:

“A Charlie Brown Christmas” … 8 to 9 p.m. on ABC.

“The X Factor” [third season finale]  …  8 to 10 p.m. on Fox.  Leona Lewis, Mary J. Blige and One Direction perform.

 “SNL: Saturday Night Live Christmas”. . . 9 to 11 p.m. on NBC.  A compilation of popular “Saturday Night Live” holiday sketches.

 “20/20: The Year” . . . 9 to 11 p.m. on ABC.  A look back at the events of 2013 with celebrities, newsmakers and special guests.

“Biggest Reality Scandals” … 9 to 10 p.m. on E!  A look at reality-TV’s biggest scandals.

Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:

 “Letterman”Steve Carell (“Anchorman 2″).  Music Guest:  The Saint Johns.

 “Jimmy Kimmel”Will Ferrell (“Anchorman 2″) and Adam Scott (“The Secret Life of Walter Mitty”).  Music Guest:  Christopher Cross with Ron Burgundy.

 “The Tonight Show”Sylvester Stallone (“Grudge Match”) and “Anchorman 2″ producer Judd Apatow.  Music Guest:  Libera.

 “Jimmy Fallon”Joseph Gordon-Levitt (“Don Jon”) and Stephen Merchant (“Hello Ladies”).  Music Guest:  The Avett Brothers.  (REPEAT)

 “Carson Daly” – Comedienne Erin Foley.  Music Guest:  Two Door Cinema Club.  (repeat)

 “Arsenio”Meagan Good (“Anchorman 2″), Clay Aiken and Chance the Rapper.

 “Conan”Christina Applegate (“Anchorman 2″) and Skylar Astin (“Ground Floor”).  Music Guest:  Young the Giant.

 “Craig Ferguson”Emily Wickersham (Ellie Bishop, Ziva’s replacement on “NCIS”) and Cuba Gooding Jr.

 “Chelsea Lately”Sara Bareilles.

 “Jon Stewart”Jonah Hill (“The Wolf of Wall Street”).

 “The Colbert Report”Ben Stiller (“The Secret Life of Walter Mitty”).  Music Guest:  The Blind Boys of Alabama.

It Feels Better To Be Right Than Happy

A new study has found it feels better to be RIGHT than to be HAPPY.  For the study, they had a husband always agree with everything his wife said.  In less than two weeks, she’d become SO cocky about always being right she became WAY more critical of her husband . . . and he’d become completely miserable.

(Los Angeles Times)

Thinking of Proposing on Christmas?  There’s a Decent Chance Your Girlfriend Wants You to Wait Until Valentine’s Day

Even though Christmas is the most popular holiday for proposals, a LOT of women don’t think it’s the ideal time.  A new survey found 45% of women think Christmas Eve or Christmas are the best days of the year for a proposal . . . but 30% want you to wait until Valentine’s Day, 14% want you to wait until New Year’s, and a weird 6% want you to propose on Halloween.

(FemaleFirst)

A 440-Pound Virgin Has Sex With His 110-Pound Girlfriend . . . and She Winds Up in the Hospital

There’s a new show on TLC debuting later this month called “Sex Sent Me to the ER”.  Their debut story is about a 440-pound virgin from New York who had sex for the first time with his 110-pound girlfriend . . . and accidentally thrusted her THROUGH a sheet rock wall.  She ended up with a concussion.

(New York Post)

What Are the Perks of Being Single Forever?

 What are the perks of being SINGLE FOREVER?  Some of the best ones we’ve heard are it only takes five seconds between the impulse to leave the house and leaving . . . you only have to go to ONE family’s worth of events for the holidays . . . and you can sleep in the middle of the bed with your limbs spread everywhere.

(Reddit)

Would You Rather Get a Good Night’s Sleep or Go to a Party?

According to a new study out of Canada, partying is DEAD and SLEEP is the new hot trend.  TWO-THIRDS of people say they’d rather get a good night’s sleep than go out for a fun night.  Even among people 18 to 24, 55% say they’d pick sleep over partying.

(Conference Board)

A Study Figures Out When Jokes About a Tragedy Are “Too Soon” and When They Finally Become Funny

A new study has figured out when it’s TOO SOON to joke about a tragedy . . . and when it becomes funny.  The researchers had people rate jokes about Superstorm Sandy last year, and found people were most offended by the jokes in the first 15 days . . . then gradually found them funnier.  The humor peaked 36 days after Sandy.

(The Atlantic)

A Woman Walks Off a Pier While Checking Facebook on Her Phone

On Monday night, a female tourist was walking down a pier in Australia while checking Facebook on her phone.  And she was SO INTO Facebook that she accidentally walked right off the pier.  She couldn’t swim, so she floated on her back in VERY cold water for about 20 minutes until the cops fished her out.  They say she never let go of her phone the entire time.

(Gawker / Victoria Police News)

A Guy Won $40 Million in the Lottery, and He’s Giving All of It to Charity

A 64-year-old guy in Canada named Tom Crist recently won $40 MILLION in the lottery.  But he’s retired and well off . . . so he’s giving all of it to CHARITY.  He set up a trust fund, so he and his kids can handpick who they donate, too.  But he says a large chunk of it will go to fund cancer research.

(CBC News / CTV News / KHON2) 

Birthdays

Paulina Gretzky – 25  (Wayne Gretzky’s hot daughter.)

 Marla Sokoloff – 33  (Lucy Hatcher on “The Practice”, and Wilma in “Dude, Where’s My Car?”.  She also used to be naughty Gia on “Full House”.)

 Jake Gyllenhaal – 33  (BRILLIANT star of “Donnie Darko”.  Took it NICE AND DEEP in “Brokeback Mountain”.  It was a good love.  It was a strong love.  But they let it slip away.)  (???) 

Used to give it to Kirsten Dunst.  Traded WAY up to Reese Witherspoon.  Then did a year with Taylor Swift.  And you scoffed at him when he played “The Bubble Boy”.)

ALYSSA MILANO – 41  (Has hairy arms and loves baseball.  These are perhaps the only two ways in which Alyssa Milano resembles Billy Crystal.)

TYSON BECKFORD – 43  (Coco dreamboat [slash] male Nubian supermodel.)

KRISTY SWANSON - 44  (Christie Boner in “Dude, Where’s My Car?”, and the ORIGINAL star of “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” . . . the movie, not the TV series.  She had a baby with her “Skating with Celebrities” partner, Lloyd Eisler.)

CRISS ANGEL - 46  (“Mindfreak” superstar.)

ROBERT MACNAUGHTON - 47  (Elliot’s older brother, “PENIS BREATH,” in “E.T.”!!!  These days he’s a POSTAL WORKER.)  (True.)

 JENNIFER BEALS - 50  (Taboo interracial minx, and steelworker-by-day-dancer-by-night in “Flashdance”.  She was also an extra-delicious lesbian on “The L Word.”)

 MIKE LOOKINLAND - 53  (Bobby Brady on “The Brady Bunch”.)

KEVIN MCHALE - 56  (Boston Celtics great from the ’80s, who also helped the “Cheers” gang beat Gary’s Old Town Tavern. He is currently coach of the NBA’s Houston Rockets.)

 TIM REID - 69  (Venus Flytrap on “WKRP in Cincinnati”.)

 MAURICE WHITE - 72  (Founder of Earth, Wind and Fire.)

CICELY TYSON - 80  (Amazing actress.  She starred as former slave Miss Jane Pittman in “The Autobiography Of Miss Jane Pittman” . . . as Binta, Kunta Kinte’s mother, in “Roots” . . . and as Harriet Tubman in “A Woman Called Moses”.)

 Little Jimmy Dickens – 93  (4-foot-11 Country Music Hall-of-Famer.)

Alvin Lee – Would have been 69 – (1944 – 2013)  (Leader of Ten Years After:  “I’d Love To Change The World.”)

 ROBERT URICH – (1946 – 2002)  (Superstar of “Vega$”, “Spenser For Hire”, “Love Boat:  The Next Wave”, “The Ice Pirates” AND RINGMASTER of “Circus Of The Stars #15″.)

 Zal Yanovsky – (1944 – 2002)  (The Lovin’ Spoonful:  “Summer In The City”, “Do You Believe In Magic?”, “Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind” and “Daydream”.)

 The Rev. Reggie White – (1961 – 2004)  (Legendary NFL racist.)

Capt. Phil Harris – Would have been 57 – (1956 – 2010)  (Captain of the Cornelia Marie on “Deadliest Catch”.  He had a stroke while offloading crab.)

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• 6 days until Christmas

• 13 days until the New Year

• 45 days until Super Bowl 48

• 50 days to the Winter Olympics

• 57 days to Valentine’s Day

• 1,128 days left of “Hope and Change”

Back in the day

281 years ago . . . in 1732 – BENJAMIN FRANKLIN began publishing “Poor Richard’s Almanack” with advice like, “Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise” . . . and . . . “A penny saved is a penny earned.”

 170 years ago . . . in 1843 - “A Christmas Carol”, the story of Ebenezer Scrooge and Tiny Tim, by one CHARLES DICKENS, was first published in England.

 66 years ago . . . in 1947“Here Comes Santa Claus”, by GENE AUTRY, entered the Top 40 chart.

 

 

 

54 years ago . . . in 1959 – Walter Williams, the last surviving veteran of the CIVIL WAR, died at age 117.

 

 

 

53 years ago . . . in 1960 – The annoying Christmas jam “THE CHIPMUNK SONG (Christmas Don’t Be Late)”, by THE CHIPMUNKS, re-entered the chart and peaked at #45.  It had hit #1 two years earlier.

 

 

 

53 years ago . . . in 1960 – NEIL SEDAKA released the monster jam, “CALENDAR GIRL”.

39 years ago . . . in 1974 - The ninth James Bond film, “The Man With The Golden Gun”, was released.

 

 

This was the one where ROGER MOORE fights CHRISTOPHER LEE (Saruman the White from “The Lord Of The Rings”) AND “Fantasy Island” superstar HERVE VILLECHAIZE, who stars as Lee’s tiny henchman, Nick Nack.

38 years ago . . . in 1975 – C.W. MCCALL earned a Gold record for his hit “Convoy”.  As you are undoubtedly aware, “CONVOY” is a saga of interstate truck drivers and their run-ins with the law!!!

 

 

 

33 years ago . . . in 1980 – DOLLY PARTON made her movie debut with the release of “NINE TO FIVE”.  She and her humongous rack won two Grammys for the title song.

 

 

 

28 years ago . . . in 1985 – Country clown-ass JOHNNY PAYCHECK, of “TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT” fame, shot and wounded another redneck at a Hillsboro, Ohio, tavern . . . after the other redneck asked Paycheck if he’d ever eaten turtle meat.

27 years ago . . . in 1986 – “LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS” was released . . . starring the musical stylings of RICK MORANIS as a nerdy florist with a giant man-eating plant that demands to be fed.  “Feed me, Seymour!”

25 years ago . . . in 1988JOHNNY CASH and his friend WAYLON JENNINGS were bad-ass in the same hospital recovery room.  Both had undergone heart bypass surgery, though six days apart.

 

 

17 years ago . . . in 1996 – The Oakland, California, school board voted to recognize “EBONICS” as Black English.  After much controversy, the board later revised its decision.

 

 

16 years ago . . . in 1997 – “TITANIC” was released in the U.S.  It won Best Picture, JAMES CAMERON took the Oscar for Best Director, and it made me fantasize for the first time about the delicious chubby that is KATE WINSLET.

 

 

16 years ago . . . in 1997MASARU IBUKA, the founder of SONY, died at age 89 from heart failure.  His first innovation, an electric rice cooker that he built from his office in a bombed-out building in Tokyo in 1946, failed.  The transistor radio, the Walkman and the PlayStation did not.

 

 

15 years ago . . . in 1998PRESIDENT CLINTON was impeached by the Republican-controlled House for perjury and obstruction of justice . . . becoming only the second chief executive ordered to stand trial in the Senate.  Like ANDREW JOHNSON before him, he was also acquitted.

 

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