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Whatever 12.18

Your daily dose of whatever includes:

  • Bad Celebrity Tattoos
  • Worst TV of 2013
  • Worst Gifts

 

Photo Gallery of the Day:  Unfortunate Celebrity Ink 

A gallery of Unfortunate Celebrity Ink includes the butterfly on Harry Styles’ abs . . . Miley Cyrus’ “Rolling $tone” foot tattoos . . . Hayden Panettiere’s misspelled Italian ink . . . and Steve O’s ridiculous back tattoo of himself.

The butterfly on Harry Styles’ abs.

 

Miley Cyrus’ “Rolling $tone” foot tattoos.

 

Kat Von D’s replica of a childhood photo of her now-ex-boyfriend Jesse James

 

Hayden Panettiere’s misspelled Italian ink

 

Steve O’s ridiculous back tattoo . . . of himself

 

The barcode on the back of Pink’s neck

 

Johnny Depp’s “Wino Forever” tattoo.  It was “Winona Forever” when he was dating Winona Ryder.  He changed it after they broke up

Fox News took a break from trying to outlaw black Santa Clauses to throw together a gallery of Unfortunate Celebrity Ink.

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

 

 

1.  Check out GISELE BUNDCHEN waiting outside TOM BRADY’S locker room with a concerned look on her face after the Patriots lost to the Dolphins Sunday.

 

 

 

2.  MILEY CYRUS “accidentally” showed off her panties . . . And also showed some leg in a pair of Daisy Dukes.

 

 

(In related news, Miley admitted to being drunk during a recent performance.  Read more about that here.)

 

 

 

3.  JENNIFER HUDSON has a nice set of legs.

 

 

 

4.  DAVID ARQUETTE has been doing some serious partying . . . despite having a pregnant girlfriend at home.

 

 

 

5.  Did SIMON COWELL get pectoral implants?

 

 

 

6.  NAOMI WATTS still looks good in a bathing suit.

Does Kim Kardashian Wax Her Daughter’s Eyebrows? 

KIM KARDASHIAN is denying Internet accusations that she waxes her 6-month-old daughter’s eyebrows.  She Tweeted, quote, “Do people really think I would wax my daughter’s eyebrows so young?  Come on, I’d wait until she’s at least 2 1/2!  I’m kidding!!!  It’s pretty sick for people to insinuate that I would wax my daughter’s eyebrows.  They are thick, natural, and amazing!” 

Jennifer Lawrence Thinks It Should Be Illegal to Call Somebody Fat on TV 

In her interview for the BARBARA WALTERS“Most Fascinating People” special, JENNIFER LAWRENCE says it should be ILLEGAL to call somebody “fat” on TV.  She says, quote, “I think the media needs to take responsibility for the effect it has on our younger generation on these girls that are watching these television shows and picking up how to talk and how to be cool.”

Google’s Most Searched People, Movies, TV Shows and More 

Google just released their lists of the most popular searches for 2013.  Miley Cyrus was the most searched person, “Man of Steel” was the most searched movie, “Breaking Bad” was the most searched TV show, and accused murderer Aaron Hernandez was the most searched athlete.

1.  Miley Cyrus

 

2.  Drake

 

3.  Kim Kardashian

 

4.  Justin Bieber

 

5.  Beyoncé

 

6.  Rihanna

 

7.  Taylor Swift

 

8.  Selena Gomez

 

9.  Katy Perry

 

10.  Kanye West

Most searched breakup:  Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth

 

Most searched death:  Paul Walker . . . followed by Nelson Mandela

 

Most searched wedding:  Kerry Washington and Nnamdi Asomugha

 

Most searched celebrity pregnancy:  Kim Kardashian

 

Most searched movie:  “Man of Steel”

 

Most searched TV show:  “Breaking Bad”

 

Most searched athlete:  Accused murderer Aaron Hernandez

 

Most searched concert:  Thirty Seconds to Mars  (???)

 

Most searched song lyrics:  “Thrift Shop”

 

Most searched song:  “The Harlem Shake”

Showbiz Video of the Day:  Watch Smoke Pour Out of Justin Bieber’s Van as the Door Opens 

JUSTIN BIEBER’S van rolled up to a curb in L.A. yesterday, and as the door slid open and Justin emerged, so did a CLOUD OF SMOKE.  Now, we have no idea if it was TOBACCO smoke . . . or some other kind of smoke.

 

 

Either way it made for an amusing image that was somewhat reminiscent of the scene in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” where SEAN PENN and his stoner buddies open the doors of their VW Bus.

 

Shia LaBeouf Apologized for Plagiarizing His Short Film . . . With a Plagiarized Apology 

SHIA LABEOUF made a short film called “HowardCantour.com”, which premiered online on Monday.  But it was taken down after people realized it was basically a RIP-OFF of a comic that came out in 2007.  Shia apologized, but it turns out some of his apology was lifted from a Yahoo Answers article about plagiarism.

But almost as soon as it hit the web, somebody noticed that it was a RIP-OFF of a short story called “Justin M. Damiano”, which was published in comic book form back in 2007.  The movie was pulled from the Net, and Shia apologized on Twitter.

 

 

But he claimed he just FORGOT to note that he was copying someone else’s work.  He said he, quote, “got lost in the creative process and neglected to follow proper accreditation.”  He added, quote, “I [effed] up.”  (You can see all his Tweets here.)

There’s a “Gilligan’s Island” Movie in the Works . . . Who Would You Cast as the Seven Castaways? 

There’s a “Gilligan’s Island” movie in the works.  JOSH GAD, who played Steve Wozniak in the movie “Jobs”, is going to co-write it AND play one of the parts.  There’s no word which one.

We also don’t know if it’ll take place in the present day.  The original series ran for three seasons in the 1960s.

 

 

But either way, this brings up the obvious question:  Who would YOU cast in a “Gilligan’s Island” movie?  Here are my picks:

 

 

Gilligan:  Justin Long

 

Skipper:  John Goodman

 

The Professor:  Steve Carell

 

Mary Ann:  Jennifer Lawrence

 

Ginger:  Christina Hendricks

 

Mr. Howell:  Tom Hanks

 

Mrs. Howell:  Meryl Streep

10 of the Worst Things TV Did This Year 

“Time” magazine has put out a list of The Worst TV of 2013 . . . and it includes:  Fox’s “Dads”, the “Dexter” finale, Lara Logan’s botched “60 Minutes” Benghazi report, and the celebrity diving show, “Splash”.

Here’s the list:

 

 

1.  Fox’s show “Dads”, which is a, quote, “waste of good comic actors.”

 

 

2.  The “Dexter” finale, which, quote, “went all-in on implausibility and cheated any kind of real closure.”

 

 

3.  Fox’s “The Following”, which is a, quote, “increasingly far-fetched example of the growing TV cliché of the evil, nihilist mastermind.”

 

 

4.  Netflix’s “Hemlock Grove” . . . a, quote, “goofy, laughable horror serial.”

 

 

5.  AMC’s “Low Winter Sun”, Showtime’s “Ray Donovan”, and general, quote, “Anti-hero Overload.”

6.  NBC’s “Ready for Love”, which was, quote, “‘The Bachelor’ meets ‘Millionaire Matchmaker’ meets the slow demise of your faith in humanity.”

 

 

7.  Lara Logan’s botched “60 Minutes” Benghazi report.

 

 

8.  The celebrity diving show, “Splash”.

 

 

9.  “The View” and Katie Couric’s, quote, “vaccine fumbles.”  The “View” hired Jenny McCarthy, an anti-vaccine crusader . . . and Katie gave “undue legitimacy to critics of the HPV vaccine . . . but later corrected it in a blog post.”

 

 

10.  ABC’s “Zero Hour”, which “Time” says “might actually have been one of the best shows of the year, if it were a 90-second parody trailer.”

The “Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” Was the Most-Tweeted About Show of the Week . . . and Ratings for the “Survivor” Finale Were at an All Time Low

The 27th season finale of “Survivor: Blood vs. Water” got 10.2 million viewers, but that was still a ratings low for the series.  Meanwhile, “NCIS” won the week with 19.3 million viewers, the “Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” attracted 9.7 million viewers and was also the most-tweeted about show of the week, and the season premiere of “The Sing-Off” had 8.4 million viewers.

Here are the Top 10 shows in the ratings:

 

 

1.  “NCIS”, CBS, 19.3 million viewers.

 

2.  “The Big Bang Theory”, CBS, 17.7 million viewers..

 

3.  “Sunday Night Football”, NBC, 16.4 million viewers.

     . . . The Pittsburgh Steelers beat the Cincinnati Bengals, 30-20.

 

4.  Monday Night Football”, ESPN, 16.2 million viewers.

     . . . The Chicago Bears beat the Dallas Cowboys, 45-28.

 

5.  “The OT”, Fox, 15.8 million viewers.

 

6.  “NCIS: Los Angeles”, CBS, 15.2 million viewers. 

 

7.  Monday’s performance on “The Voice”, NBC, 13.2 million viewers.

 

8.  Tuesday’s results for “The Voice”, NBC, 11.5 million viewers.

 

9.  “Criminal Minds” repeat, CBS, 11.2 million viewers.

 

10.  “Blue Bloods”, CBS, 10.9 million viewers.

Here are the top five most tweeted about shows of the week:

 

1.  “The Victoria Secret Fashion Show” . . . with 1.5 million tweets by 829,000 people

2.  “The Heisman Trophy Presentation” . . . with 350,000 tweets by 189,000 people

3.  The “American Country Awards” . . . with 269,000 tweets by 170,000 people

4.  “Scandal” . . . with 420,000 tweets by 106,000 people

5.  “The Voice” . . . with 142,000 tweets by 70,000 people

TV Ratings  (continued)

 

 

And here are some additional ratings you may or may not be interested in:

 

  The two-hour finale of “Survivor: Blood vs. Water” got 10.2 million viewers and 7.5 million people stuck around for the live reunion.  Tyson Apostol won it.

 

  “The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” got 9.7 million viewers. 

 

  “Thursday Night Football” got 8.9 million viewers.  The San Diego Chargers beat the Denver Broncos, 27-20.

 

  The 4th season premiere of “The Sing-Off” attracted 8.4 million viewers.  It was down to 6 million on the second night, and 4.6 million by the third episode.

 

  The series premiere of ABC’s “The Great Christmas Light Fight” had 5.5 million viewers.

 

  “Kelly Clarkson’s Cautionary Christmas Music Tale” drew 5.3 million viewers. 

 

  The 6th season finale of “Sons of Anarchy” got 5.2 million viewers on FX.  That’s the most for any finale in the show’s run so far.

 

  “The American Country Awards 2013″ attracted 5.1 million viewers.  You can revisit the winners here.

 

  The shocking 3rd season finale of Showtime’s “Homeland” got 2.4 million viewers.  That was a series high and featured the death of a major character.

Wednesday TV Reminders:

 

 

“A Home for the Holidays with Celine Dion” . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.  Celine Dion hosts the 15th annual special to raise awareness for foster-care.  It includes performances by Ne-Yo and Chris Young.

 

 

“The iHeartRadio Jingle Ball 2013″ . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on the CW.  Performers include Miley Cyrus, Robin Thicke, Pitbull, Fall Out Boy, Selena Gomez, Ariana Grande, Jason Derulo and Austin Mahone.

 

 

“E! Special – Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues” . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on E!  Giuliana Rancic interviews the cast of “Anchorman 2″.

 

 

“Barbara Walters 10 Most Fascinating People of 2013″ . . . 9:30 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC.

 

 

“Michael Bublé’s 3rd Annual Christmas Special” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC.  Mariah Carey, Mary J. Blige and Cookie Monster are among the performers joining the singer to perform Christmas classics.

 

 

“Kirstie” . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on TV Land.  Cloris Leachman guest stars as Kirstie Alley’s mom.

 

 

“Key & Peele” [3rd Season Finale] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on Comedy Central.

Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:

 

 

“Letterman”Ben Stiller (“Secret Life of Walter Mitty”) and singer Brett Dennen.

 

 

“Jimmy Kimmel”Tim Robbins, and ESPN sports analysts Bill Simmons and Jalen Rose.  Music Guest:  HAIM.

 

 

“The Tonight Show”Christina Applegate (“Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues”) and Kevin Nealon.  Music Guest:  The winner of “The Voice”.

 

 

“Jimmy Fallon”Billy Crystal, Evan Rachel Wood, and Cher Lloyd.  (REPEAT)

 

 

“Carson Daly”“Ender’s Game” producers Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman.  Music Guest:  Tame Impala.  (REPEAT)

 

 

“Arsenio”Kevin Smith, boxer Bernard Hopkins, spoken word artist Prentice Powell, and the cast of VH1′s “Single Ladies”.

 

 

“Conan”Jennifer Lawrence (“American Hustle”) and Bob Odenkirk (“Nebraska”).  Music Guest:  Bad Religion.

 

 

“Craig Ferguson”Natasha Lyonne (“Orange Is the New Black”) and author Michael Connelly (“The Gods of Guilt (Lincoln Lawyer)”).

 

 

“Chelsea Lately”James Marsden (“Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues”).

 

 

“Jon Stewart”Will Ferrell, Steve Carell, David Koechner and Paul Rudd.

 

 

“The Colbert Report”Keanu Reeves (“47 Ronin”).  Music Guest:  Aaron Neville and MusiCorps.

31% of Us Haven’t Bought a Single Christmas Gift Yet

 

You’re not the only person who hasn’t started their Christmas shopping yet.  According to a new survey, a full 31% of us haven’t bought a SINGLE gift so far.  Only 11% are completely done with their shopping.

 

(Sacramento Bee)

What’s the Worst Christmas Present You’ve Ever Gotten?

What’s the WORST Christmas present you’ve ever gotten?  Some of the best ones we’ve heard are an unemployed guy who got a stack of job applications from his parents . . . a seven-year-old who got a Dustbuster so he could vacuum the stairs easier . . . and a great-aunt who gave out a VHS tape of her caretaker’s funeral.

1.  “I got a used gift card with only $3.75 left on it.”

 

2.  “When I was seven, my grandma bought my cousin a PlayStation 2.  I’m the exact same age . . . and she got me a ‘Shrek’ lunch box.”

 

3.  “I was unemployed and got a large, gift-wrapped box from my parents.  It was a stack of job applications from local businesses.”

 

4.  “When I was seven I unwrapped a gift and found a Dustbuster box.  I thought my present was inside the box . . . turned out my present WAS the Dustbuster, so I could vacuum the stairs easier.”

 

5.  “My mom gave me a jar of sugar with a note about how sweet I was.  Then, two days later, I came home and found she’d used the sugar to bake cookies.”

 

6.  “My great-aunt had a live-in caretaker.  He unexpectedly died.  The next year, when I was seven, I got a VHS copy of his funeral for Christmas.”

 

7.  “My grandpa gave everyone in the family bright orange rape whistles for Christmas . . . even the men.”

 

8.  “A guy I was dating gave me a self-help book for women with daddy issues.  He was dead serious and insisted I was molested as a child.  I was not.”  (Reddit)

Google Has Released 2013′s Most Searched Beer, Gadget, Dance Move, Appetizer, and More

Google just released their lists of the most popular searches for 2013.  Some of the highlights are Blue Moon as the most searched beer . . . Gangnam style as the most searched dance move . . . the flu as the most searched health issue . . . and the PlayStation4 as the most searched gadget.

Most searched appetizer:  Tomato mozzarella.

 

Most searched beer:  Blue Moon.

 

Most searched calories:  Eggs.

 

Most searched dance move:  Gangnam style.

 

Most searched diet:  The Paleo diet.

 

Most searched fast food:  Pizza Hut.

 

Most searched health issue:  Flu.

 

Most searched recipe:  Chili.

 

Most searched social media site:  Tumblr.

 

Most searched symptoms:  Pregnancy symptoms.

 

Most searched gadget:  PlayStation 4.

 

Most searched “What is”:  What is twerking?  (Google) 

This Year the Government Wasted Money on Tax Breaks for Brothels, an Indie Rock Executive Tour, and Serving Red Wine in China

Senator Tom Coburn of Oklahoma just published his annual list of the biggest WASTES OF TAXPAYER MONEY.  Some of the highlights are $17.5 million in tax breaks to legal brothels in Nevada . . . a $360,000 NASA study that will pay people to spend two full months in bed . . . and a $284,000 grant for indie music executives to travel the world to promote their music.

 

(Wastebook)

Are You Making Less Money Than You Thought You Would at This Age?

:  Are you making less money right now than you thought you’d be making at this age?  In a new survey, HALF of Americans say YES.  34% say they’re making just about what they expected, and 16% are making more.

(PR Newswire)

The 10 Weirdest Sex Laws in America

Here are some of the weirdest REAL sex laws in the U.S.  In Indiana, it’s illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public . . . in Iowa, it’s illegal to kiss for more than five minutes . . . in Nebraska, you can’t get married if you have gonorrhea . . . and in Washington, if you give a prostitute a ride to work, the police can confiscate your car.

1.  In Fairbanks, Alaska, moose are banned from having sex on city streets.

 

2.  In Arizona, it’s illegal to have more than two love toys in the same house.  In Texas, the maximum is six.

 

3.  In California, it’s illegal to sell stuffed items resembling breasts . . . like boob-shaped pillows . . . within 1,000 feet of a highway.

 

4.  In Illinois, if you sell a reptile, you have to give a written warning not to, quote, “nuzzle or kiss” them.

 

5.  In Indiana, it’s illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.

 

6.  In Iowa, it’s illegal to kiss for more than five minutes.

 

7.  In Kentucky, dogs are banned from molesting people or property.

 

8.  In Mississippi, it’s illegal to teach other people what “polygamy” is.

 

9.  In Nebraska, you can’t get married if you have gonorrhea.

 

10.  And in Washington, if you give a prostitute a ride to work, the police can legally confiscate your car.  (io9) 

0.8% of Young Pregnant Women Claim They’re Virgins?

A new study found that 0.8% of young pregnant women in the U.S. claim they’re having VIRGIN BIRTHS.  The researchers interviewed 5,340 pregnant women between 15 and 28, and 45 claimed they’d miraculously gotten pregnant without sex or in vitro.  But the researchers also interviewed their friends, and it turns out none of them was actually a virgin.

.  (Reuters)

The Smaller the Dog, the More Likely He Is to Hump Your Leg

:  A new study in Australia found that the smaller a dog is, the more likely he is to be aggressive, wild, noisy, and obsessed with humping things.  Then, they went ahead and compared that to the Napoleon complex in short men . . . where they overcompensate for their height by being angrier and more aggressive.  Short men are like mean, leg-humping Chihuahuas.  Got it.

(Sydney Morning Herald)

60 Kids Were Evacuated from a Locker Room When Their Teacher Spotted a Pervert Watching Them Change . . . But It Turned Out to Be a Prosthetic Leg?

60 elementary school students were evacuated from a rec center in England recently, when one of their teachers spotted a guy in a locker room stall watching them change.  But when several teachers went to confront the guy . . . it turned out to be a PROSTHETIC LEG that a disabled guy had left behind.

(Kent Online / Mirror / Huffington Post)

Ashley Benson – 24  (Hanna Marin on “Pretty Little Liars”.)

 

 

Josh Dallas – 32  (Prince Charming on “Once Upon a Time”.)

 

 

Christina Aguilera – 33  (Responded to criticism of her weight by . . . losing a ton of weight.  The bullies win again!)

 

 

Katie Holmes – 35  (The former Mrs. Tom Cruise.  See her TOPLESS in “The Gift”, in which she plays a very sexy, very promiscuous . . . and very DEAD woman.)

 

 

Bridgit Mendler – 21  (Teddy on “Good Luck Charlie”.  Before that she was Justin’s vampire girlfriend Juliet on “Wizards of Waverly Place”.  Trust me.  Your Disney Channel-addicted kids know exactly who she is.)

 

 

Trish Stratus – 38  (Former WWE minx.)

 

 

DJ Lethal – 41  (Limp Bizkit)

 

 

DMX – 43  (The length of his rap sheet is one of the reasons why the rain forest is running out of trees, but at least you can’t fault his ability to perform “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”.)

 

 

Rachel Griffiths – 45  (She was Brenda on “Six Feet Under” and Calista Flockhart’s older sister on “Brothers & Sisters”.)

 

 

“Stone Cold” Steve Austin – 49  (Now hosts a silly cable reality show called “Redneck Island”.)

 

 

Brad Pitt – 50  (He’s had sex with two of the most beautiful women in the world . . . and he doesn’t even bathe every day.  How does that make YOU feel?)

Ray Liotta – 59  (“Goodfellas”, “Field of Dreams” and “Hannibal” superstar.  He was TIGHT as the psycho cop in “Unlawful Entry”.  DON’T YOU RESIST ME!) 

 

 

Steven Spielberg – 67  (Took responsibility for putting Harrison Ford in the fridge in “Indiana Jones 4″.  Forgivable?  Discuss.)

Keith Richards – 70  (Rolling Stones corpse.)

Ossie Davis – (1917 – 2005)  (He gave the eulogy at the funerals of both Martin Luther King, Jr. AND Malcolm X, and it’s his voice on the American Negro College Fund commercials saying, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste.”) 

 

(AND he played John F. Kennedy to Bruce Campbell’s Elvis in the lovingly-crafted cinematic masterpiece, “Bubba Ho-Tep”!)

 

 

Ty Cobb – (1886 – 1961)  (The greatest baseball player of all time AND baseball’s first millionaire.  He built his fortune investing in Coca-Cola and General Motors.)

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• 7 days until Christmas

• 14 days until the New Year

• 46 days until Super Bowl 48

• 51 days to the Winter Olympics

• 58 days to Valentine’s Day

• 1,129 days left of “Hope and Change”

294 years ago . . . in 1719 – Thomas Fleet published the first book of stories that his mother-in-law used to tell her grandchildren.  Her name was ELIZABETH FOSTER GOOSE, so he called the story collection “Mother Goose’s Melodies For Children”.

 

 

56 years ago . . . in 1957 – “The Bridge on the River Kwai” was first released in the U.S.  It won the Best Picture Oscar, and ALEC GUINNESS took Best Actor.

 

 

52 years ago . . . in 1961“The Lion Sleeps Tonight”, by THE TOKENS, hit #1 on the pop singles chart.

 

 

47 years ago . . . in 1966 – Dr. Seuss’s “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” aired for the first time on CBS.

 

 

43 years ago . . . in 1970 – DIVORCE BECAME LEGAL IN ITALY.

 

 

38 years ago . . . in 1975 – ROD STEWART blew it when he quit FACES to pursue a solo career.  (The Faces also include Rolling Stones guitarist Ron Wood.)

 

 

37 years ago . . . in 1976“Wonder Woman”, starring the incredibly beautiful AND incredibly-chested LYNDA CARTER, debuted on ABC.

 

 

31 years ago . . . in 1982 - HALL & OATES hit the #1 spot on the singles charts for the FIFTH TIME with their biggest smash ever . . . “Maneater”!!!

 

 

29 years ago . . . in 1984 – Comedy genius CHRISTOPHER GUEST (the Six-Fingered Man in “The Princess Bride”, and NIGEL TUFNEL in “SPINAL TAP”!!!) married JAMIE LEE CURTIS & HER INCREDIBLE RACK at ROB REINER’S house in L.A.

 

 

16 years ago . . . in 1997 – CHRIS FARLEY was found dead in his Chicago apartment.  He died from an overdose of cocaine.  He was only 33 . . . the same age John Belushi was when drugs took HIS life in 1982.  DON’T TAKE DRUGS!!!

 

 

4 years ago . . . in 2009 - JON and KATE GOSSELIN divorced. 

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