Your daily dose of Whatever!

SHOWBIZ HIGHLIGHTS - 1 of 3

1.  MAMA JUNE and SUGAR BEAR from "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" have been offered an opportunity to make a PORNO.  Vivid Entertainment, which is a legit smut company, says they could make a million dollars or more, because big women are a growing smut category.  (Full Story)

2.  JESSICA BIEL was spotted wearing a one-piece suit that looks like a maternity outfit . . . and there did appear to be a bump under it.  But there's still no official word that she and JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE are expecting.  (Full Story)

3.  HAYDEN PANETTIERE and fiancée WLADIMIR KLITSCHKO announced that their baby girl was born last Tuesday.  They named her Kaya Evdokia Klitschko.  Hayden and Wladimir issued a statement saying, quote, "We are over the moon and madly in love!"  (Full Story)

4.  KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN had a baby boy yesterday . . . which just happened to be her oldest son Mason's birthday.  He's the third child for Kourtney and her sleazy boyfriend SCOTT DISICK.  (Full Story)

5.  Sexy Pictures of Famous People

6.  TAYLOR SWIFT had a massive 25th birthday party Friday night, that was attended by Jay Z and Beyoncé, Justin Timberlake, Selena Gomez, Iggy Azalea, and Sam Smith . . . just to name a few.  And earlier in the day, Aretha Franklin sang "Happy Birthday" to her.  (Full Story)

SHOWBIZ HIGHLIGHTS - 2 of 3

7.  MILEY CYRUS had a cyst removed from the inside of her wrist on Friday.  And of course, she just had to post a picture of the incision being held wide open in the doctor's office.  She even Photoshopped a smiley face inside the wound.  (Full Story)

8.  BILL COSBY spoke briefly to the "New York Post", saying, quote, "I only expect the black media to uphold the standards of excellence in journalism and when you do that you have to go in with a neutral mind."  He added that his wife is dealing with everything through, quote, "Love and the strength of womanhood."  (Full Story)

9.  ANGELINA JOLIE made a video to announce she has CHICKEN POX, and will have to miss some movie premieres.  She said, quote, "I found out last night that I have chickenpox.  So, I will be home itching and missing everyone."  (Full Story)

10.  ZAC EFRON had to pee while partying in a club, but there was a huge line for the restroom.  So he had one of his peeps stand in the line . . . and when he got to the front, he texted Zac, who came over and took his place.  The other guys in line were not amused.  (Full Story)

11.  "Exodus: Gods and Kings" was #1 at the box office this weekend with $24.5 million.  It took down "The Hunger Games", which has been #1 for the past three weeks.  CHRIS ROCK'S "Top Five" made $7.2 million in 4th place, even though it was in less than 1,000 theaters.  (Full Story)

SHOWBIZ HIGHLIGHTS - 3 of 3

12.  On Friday's "Ellen", ASHTON KUTCHER hinted pretty strongly that CHARLIE SHEEN will return for the "Two and a Half Men" series finale in February.  He said, quote, "If you're working on the Warner Brothers lot, if there's sirens, come save me . . . If you smell something, I wasn't smokin' it."  (Full Story)

13.  TV Reminders and Late Night Guests

14.  IGGY AZALEA joked on Twitter about a rumor that she was born a man and her name is Cody.  She said, quote, "I just don't see myself as a Cody.  I'm more of a Liam, if had a penis.  Liam Azalea."  She also gave some fans the finger Friday because they booed her when she ignored them.  It was caught on video.  (Full Story)

15.  The wife of CREED singer SCOTT STAPP and her sister called 911 recently to say that Scott thought he was in the CIA, and was supposed to kill PRESIDENT OBAMA.  Scott's wife said, quote, "He self-medicates . . . I love him and we want to see him get better but I just need law enforcement's help."  (Full Story)

16.  Urban Quick Hits:  Rihanna, Jay Z, and Jeremih

17.  TheBoot.com released their Top 10 Country Music Moments of 2014.  They include Garth Brooks un-retiring, Taylor Swift officially going pop, and Ty Herndon and Billy Gilman coming out.  (Full Story)

18.  Showbiz Extras and Country Extras

SHOWBIZ SEXY - 1 of 4

Mama June and Sugar Bear Could Make $1 Million . . . Doing Porn 

This is a terrifying thought:  MAMA JUNE and SUGAR BEAR from "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" could make a million dollars or more . . . by DOING PORN.

Vivid Entertainment, one of the biggest smut companies of them all, has official extended the offer, since "BBW" is growing in popularity as a porn genre.

(For those of you who have to feign ignorance because your wives are currently in the car next to you, BBW stands for BIG, BEAUTIFUL WOMEN.)

Vivid is also offering Mama June and Sugar Bear, quote, "as much creative input as you would like."

Related Comedy:  Mama June and Sugar Bear from "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" have been offered $1 million to make a sex video:

. . . As for what she'll be required to do, they're offering her a lot of "wiggle room".  Which, incidentally, is also the name of the video.

. . . And Stevie Wonder was all like, "Who's disadvantaged now, suckers?!?"

. . . Suddenly, that CIA torture report doesn't seem all that bad.

. . . I'm pretty sure I can raise $100 million for them to agree NOT to do one.

Is Jessica Biel Wearing Maternity Clothes? 

Rumors of a JESSICA BIEL pregnancy picked up steam over the weekend, after Jessica was spotted wearing what looks like a MATERNITY-style jumpsuit.

And while you can never say for sure from just a few photos, it DOES look like there's a baby bump underneath.  If Jessica IS pregnant, this will be the first child for her and her husband, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE.

SHOWBIZ SEXY - 2 of 4

Hayden Panettiere Had Her Baby 

HAYDEN PANETTIERE and fiancée WLADIMIR KLITSCHKO announced that their baby girl was born last Tuesday.  And it's about time.  Hayden was closely approaching critical mass.

They named her Kaya Evdokia Klitschko . . . and despite Hayden's HUGENESS, she only entered the world at 7 pounds, 14 ounces.  Hayden and Wladimir issued a statement saying, quote, "We are over the moon and madly in love!"

Kourtney Kardashian Popped Out Her Third Kid 

KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN popped another boy out of her well-worn baby chute yesterday . . . which just happened to be her oldest son Mason's birthday.

There's no word on the new kid's name, but he's the third child for Kourtney and her sleazy boyfriend SCOTT DISICK.  Mason is 5 years old, and they also have a 2-year-old daughter named Penelope.

Since the baby was born on Mason's birthday, Kourtney took the wise precaution of only talking about Mason yesterday on social media so he wouldn't get too jealous.

She wrote on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, quote, "Happy birthday to the coolest little boy in the entire world. You teach me so much every single day and changed my universe the second I met you. You have taught me what life is all about and I am truly blessed and honored to be your mommy."

SHOWBIZ SEXY - 3 of 4

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

1.  "Battlestar Galactica" co-stars KATEE SACKHOFF and TRICIA HELFER started a charity called Acting Outlaws . . . where they organize motorcycle rides for various charities.  But more importantly, they also make a SEXY CALENDAR every year.  Explore all three of their calendars here.

2.  (NC-17)  If PAMELA ANDERSON in lingerie still does it for you, some pictures and video from "Love" magazine should give you a jolt.  (WARNING!!!  There's visible nipple in the video and one of the pics.)

3.  "New York Times Magazine" filmed short videos of random celebrities kissing.  They included Reese Witherspoon and Benedict Cumberbatch . . . Steve Carell and Laura Dern . . . and a very erotic same-sex kiss between Rosario Dawson and Jenny Slate.

There was also a man-on-man kiss between David Oyelowo from "Interstellar" and Timothy Spall from the "Harry Potter" movies, but it was done for COMEDIC effect.

(For all the talk of "liberal" Hollywood and the "liberal" "New York Times", they still couldn't give us a MALE kiss with a hint of eroticism . . . or even homosexuality.  But the girls went at it like porn stars.  Double standard?  Obviously.  Check out all 9 videos here.)

SHOWBIZ SEXY - 4 of 4

More Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

4. Here's a fun gallery of old Christmas pictures of the stars . . . including Taylor Swift, Jessica Alba, Ariana Grande, Katy Perry, and John Stamos.

5.  PRINCE GEORGE is a seriously cute kid . . . and he looks a lot like his dad at the same age.

6.  CHARLIE XCX wore a mostly see-through dress to an event on Friday.

7.  Guess what's featured prominently in the 2015 NICKI MINAJ calendar?  Hint:  It's not her eyes.

Meanwhile, Nicki released her "Only" video this weekend.  Although it seems weird to call it Nicki's video . . . because she doesn't get any more screen time or mic time than guest stars Drake, Chris Brown and Lil Wayne.

(WARNING!!!  This video is LOADED with profanity.)

8.  ARIANA GRANDE was probably exaggerating a little when she said she "almost died" after slipping on confetti during a show Friday night.  (Here's video.  Skip to the 8-minute mark.)

Meanwhile, Ariana released her "Santa Tell Me" video this weekend.

SHOWBIZ NONSENSE - 1 of 4

Taylor Swift Celebrated Her Birthday With Jay Z, Beyoncé, Justin Timberlake, And Everybody Else Who Matters 

HIGHLIGHTS:  TAYLOR SWIFT had a massive 25th birthday party Friday night, that was attended by Jay Z and Beyoncé, Justin Timberlake, Selena Gomez, Iggy Azalea, and Sam Smith . . . just to name a few.  And earlier in the day, Aretha Franklin sang "Happy Birthday" to her.

FULL STORY:  Those of you who still don't consider TAYLOR SWIFT the biggest name in music right now can officially consider yourselves on the WRONG SIDE OF HISTORY.

Because she had a party Friday night at herNew Yorkapartment to celebrate her 25th birthday . . . and EVERYBODY came.  That's almost not an exaggeration.

The guests included Jay Z and Beyoncé, Justin Timberlake, Selena Gomez, Iggy Azalea, Sam Smith, 5 Seconds of Summer, Nick Jonas and his girlfriend Olivia Culpo, Charlie XCX . . .

Victoria's Secret model Karlie Kloss, Jaime King, model Chrissy Teigen, the group HAIM, and "Divergent" actor Ansel Elgort.

Of course, the annual "Jingle Ball" concert went down earlier that night, and some of these people performed at it.  So they probably just kind of wandered over afterward, because it seemed like the thing to do.

Continued . . .

SHOWBIZ NONSENSE - 2 of 4

Taylor Swift Celebrated Her Birthday With Jay Z, Beyoncé, Justin Timberlake, And Everybody Else Who Matters  (continued) 

Still, it was a party . . . and there are plenty of pictures to prove it.

(Check out a whole bunch here.  And yes, that's Justin Timberlake wearing the "poop emoji" mask.)

That might not have been the best part ofTaylor's birthday weekend though.  On Friday afternoon, she was named Woman of the Year at the Billboard Women in Music Awards . . .

And ARETHA FRANKLIN sang "Happy Birthday" to her.  (Here's video.  And for the record, Taylor's actual birthday was Saturday.)

(NC-17)  Miley Cyrus Posted a Gross Photo of a Cyst Being Removed from Her Wrist 

MILEY CYRUS had a cyst removed from the inside of her wrist on Friday.  And of course, she just had to post a picture of the incision being held wide open in the doctor's office.  She even Photoshopped a smiley face inside the wound.

(Check it out here.  WARNING!!!  It's graphic.)

On Saturday, Miley and her boyfriend PATRICK SCHWARZENEGGER made a surprise appearance at a charity event for St. Jude's Children'sResearchHospital.

SHOWBIZ NONSENSE - 3 of 4

Bill Cosby Only Trusts Black Media Now 

HIGHLIGHTS:  BILL COSBY spoke briefly to the "New York Post", saying, quote, "I only expect the black media to uphold the standards of excellence in journalism and when you do that you have to go in with a neutral mind."  He added that his wife is dealing with everything through, quote, "Love and the strength of womanhood."

FULL STORY:  The "New York Post" actually got BILL COSBY to talk to them briefly . . . although he didn't specifically address the allegations against him.  But he did reveal who he trusts at this point to get the story straight.

He said, quote, "Let me say this:  I only expect the black media to uphold the standards of excellence in journalism and when you do that you have to go in with a neutral mind."

He was also asked how his wife Camille is dealing with everything.  He said, quote, "Love and the strength of womanhood.  Let me say it again, love and the strength of womanhood.  And, you could reverse it, the strength of womanhood and love."

But then he cut off the conversation, saying, quote, "They don't want me talking to the media."  ("They" being his attorneys, we assume.)

SHOWBIZ NONSENSE - 4 of 4

Angelina Jolie Made a Video to Announce She Has Chicken Pox 

ANGELINA JOLIE is missing some premieres of that new movie she directed, "Unbroken", because she has CHICKEN POX.  And she posted a YouTube video to explain it to her fans.

She said, quote, "I just wanted to be clear and honest about why I will be missing the 'Unbroken' events in the next few days, which is that I found out last night that I have chickenpox.

"So, I will be home itching and missing everyone, and I can't believe it, because this film means so much to me.  I just can't believe it.  But such is life, there it is.  And send everyone my love, and hope everything goes well."

Did Zac Efron Have a Friend Stand In for Him . . . In a Bathroom Line? 

Don't hate on ZAC EFRON . . . you'd do this if you could:  According to the "National Enquirer", Zac and his friends were partying at a club inL.A. when Zac's bladder filled up.  Unfortunately, there was a huge line for the men's room.

So Zac had one of his peeps stand in the line . . . and when the guy got to the front, he texted Zac, who came over and took his place.  The other guys in line were not amused.

(On the surface, I can see why.  But the fact is, nobody behind Zac's friend lost their spot.  If they're mad, they're mad at the fact that Zac can pull this move and THEY CAN'T.  That's envy.  It's a deadly sin.  Look it up.)

MOVIE QUICK HITS

"Exodus: Gods and Kings" Is Your New #1 Movie

CHRISTIAN BALE'S Moses movie "Exodus: Gods and Kings" was #1 at the box office this weekend, with $24.5 million.  But it's not that great when you consider it cost an estimated $140 million to make.

The other new release in the Top 10 was CHRIS ROCK'S "Top Five", which made $7.2 million in 4th place, even though it was in less than 1,000 theaters.

Here are this week's Top 10 movies:

1.  NEW:  "Exodus: Gods and Kings", $24.5 million.

2.  "The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1", $13.2 million.  Up to $277 million in its 4th week.

3.  "Penguins of Madagascar", $7.3 million.  Up to $58.8 million in its 3rd week.

4.  NEW:  "Top Five", $7.2 million.

5.  "Big Hero 6", $6.1 million.  Up to $185 million in its 6th week.

6.  "Interstellar", $5.5 million.  Up to $167 million in its 6th week. 

7.  "Horrible Bosses 2", $4.6 million.  Up to $43.6 million in its 3rd week.

8.  "Dumb and Dumber To", $2.8 million.  Up to $82.1 million in its 5th week.

9.  "The Theory of Everything", $2.5 million.  Up to $17.1 million in its 6th week.

10.  "Wild", $1.6 million.  Up to $2.4 million in its 2nd week of limited release.

TV QUICK HITS

Ashton Kutcher Hints That Charlie Sheen Will Be on the "Two and a Half Men" Finale 

HIGHLIGHTS:  On Friday's "Ellen", ASHTON KUTCHER hinted pretty strongly that CHARLIE SHEEN will return for the "Two and a Half Men" series finale in February.  He said, quote, "If you're working on the Warner Brothers lot, if there's sirens, come save me . . . If you smell something, I wasn't smokin' it."

FULL STORY:  On Friday's "Ellen", ASHTON KUTCHER hinted pretty strongly that CHARLIE SHEEN will return for the "Two and a Half Men" series finale in February.

He told Ellen that he just got pitched the story for the finale, and he's, quote, "a little terrified."

Ellen tried to get him to admit Charlie's coming back, and he wouldn't.  But he said, quote, "If you're working on the Warner Brothers lot, if there's sirens, come save me."

Then he added, quote, "If you smell something, I wasn't smokin' it."  (Here's video.)

(Charlie's character was killed off when he had his meltdown and got fired.  But that's easy enough to work around . . . especially for a comedy as broad as "Two and a Half Men".)

(Meanwhile, Ashton Tweeted a link to a fake movie trailer starring himself, Mila Kunis and Rihanna.  People think it might be part of the new "Annie" movie.  You can read more about it here.)

TV REMINDERS

Monday TV Reminders:

• "Monday Night Football" . . . 8:30 to 11:30 P.M. Eastern on ESPN.  The Chicago Bears host the New Orleans Saints.

• "The Voice" . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC.  Tomorrow is the season finale.  The Top 3 and the Wild Card winner perform tonight.  Your top three finalists are Chris Jamison, Craig Wayne Boyd, and Matt McAndrew.

And Damien reentered the competition by winning the Wild Card playoff, which gives Team Adam three people in the finals going up against Craig from Team Blake.

• "The 1st American Country Countdown Awards" . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.  Brian Kelley and Tyler Hubbard from Florida Georgia Line are your hosts.  These are the awards that are based solely on album sales and radio airplay.

The lineup of performers include Carrie Underwood, Miranda Lambert, Brett Eldredge, Eric Church, Luke Bryan, and Jason Aldean.

• "The Great Christmas Light Fight" . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.

• The fourth season premiere of "Hart of Dixie" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on the CW.

• The fifth season premiere of "Love & Hip Hop" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on VH1.

• "Ascension" [Part 1 of 3] . . . 9:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Syfy.  Tricia Helfer from "Battlestar Galactica" stars in this murder mystery about an interstellar spaceship that was secretly launched on a mission to populate a new world 50 years ago.

Part 2 airs tomorrow night and Part 3 airs on Wednesday.

TODAY ON TV TALK SHOWS

Tonight's Late Night Talk Shows:

• "The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon" - Oprah Winfrey and Idina Menzel.

• "Late Night with Seth Meyers" - 50 Cent, Patricia Clarkson, and James Bay.

• "Letterman" - Emma Stone, Bob Seger, and a Top Ten List from Heisman Trophy winner, Marcus Mariota.

• "Jimmy Kimmel" - Emily Blunt, Lee Pace from "The Hobbit", and Alt-J.

• "Carson Daly" - Tricia Helfer (Syfy's "Ascension"), and Interpol.

• "Conan" - Lisa Kudrow, Adult Swim's Eric Andre, and Interpol.

• "Craig Ferguson" - Jon Hamm, and Tim Meadows.

• "Jon Stewart" - Tim Burton.

• "The Colbert Report" - Seth Rogen.

MUSIC QUICK HITS - 1 of 3

Iggy Azalea Would Like You to Know She Was Not Born a Man 

HIGHLIGHTS:  IGGY AZALEA joked on Twitter about a rumor that she was born a man and her name is Cody.  She said, quote, "I just don't see myself as a Cody.  I'm more of a Liam, if had a penis.  Liam Azalea."  She also gave some fans the finger Friday because they booed her when she ignored them.  It was caught on video.

FULL STORY:  IGGY AZALEA gets cracked on a lot for her looks, so it's cool that she still has a sense of humor about it.  Recently, she hit Twitter to address a pretty crazy rumor she heard about herself.

She said, quote, "Wait, so I'm just now reading that I was born a man and my name is Cody? . . . Why Cody tho?  Lol."

Then she added, quote, "I just don't see myself as a Cody.  I'm more of a Liam, if had a penis.  Liam Azalea."

(Technically, it would be Liam KELLY, since Iggy's real name is Amethyst Amelia Kelly.  Which, if you ask me, would have been a cooler stage name than Iggy Azalea.)

Iggy did NOT have a sense of humor Friday when fans BOOED her.  She was making her way intoMadisonSquareGardenfor the annual "Jingle Ball" concert, and she pretty much ignored the crowd.  So they let her have it.

And Iggy let THEM have it right back . . . with her middle finger.  (Here's video.  WARNING!!!  Bleeped profanity.)

MUSIC QUICK HITS - 2 of 3

Does Scott Stapp Think He's a CIA Agent Who's Supposed to Assassinate President Obama? 

HIGHLIGHTS:  The wife of CREED singer SCOTT STAPP and her sister called 911 recently to say that Scott thought he was in the CIA, and was supposed to kill PRESIDENT OBAMA.  Scott's wife said, quote, "He self-medicates . . . I love him and we want to see him get better but I just need law enforcement's help."

FULL STORY:  The saga of former CREED singer SCOTT STAPP got a little weirder this weekend, when TMZ posted audio of a 911 call that Scott's wife and his sister made earlier this month.

In that call, they said Scott was riding around on a bicycle, shirtless, with a backpack full of papers he believed were CIA documents.  And he apparently believed he was, quote, "a CIA agent and he was supposed to assassinate Obama."

It sounds like this happened after Scott was released from a 72-hour psychiatric hold.  In addition to the papers, which he'd printed off the Internet, Scott also had tools and hard drives in his backpack.

The sister said that when Scott has schizophrenic episodes, he, quote, "collects a lot of weird belongings."

Scott's wife told the operator, quote, "He self-medicates and he's been in eight rehabs, he's been in rehab about eight to 10 times . . . I love him and we want to see him get better but I just need law enforcement's help."

Police did show up, but they decided Scott didn't need to be locked up.  (Here's some audio from the call.)

MUSIC QUICK HITS - 3 of 3

Urban Quick Hits:  Rihanna, Jay Z and Jeremih 

1.  BRAD PITT introduced RIHANNA's performance at a charity event the other night in Beverly Hills, and joked about how her life has gone downhill since she hooked up with JAY Z.

He called Jay a "dubious and nefarious character" and an "evil impresario."  Then he showed a Photoshopped picture of an overweight Rihanna on a couch eating a sandwich, saying, quote, "[Gosh darn it], just do something with your life."  (WARNING!!!  This video includes PROFANITY.)

2.  Speaking of Jay Z's "dubious and nefarious character," Fox News Tweeted a link to their story about Jay meeting with New York Governor ANDREW CUOMO, in which they identified Jay as a "former crack dealer."

Which, by the way, is true.  Jay has referenced it frequently in his music.  (Full Story)

3.  JEREMIH and two friends were arrested Friday atNewarkInternationalAirport inNew Jersey.  What happened was that Jeremih and his posse were late for a flight, and the jetway door closed before they could all board.

Jeremih and another man who made it on pried open the jetway door so the rest could get in.  One guy managed to squeeze in before they were caught.  That's illegal though, so the three guys were arrested.  (Full Story)

STUPID NEWS HIGHLIGHTS - 1 of 2

1.  Here are a few random facts for you.  There are 43 countries in the world where spanking your kids is illegal.  MARIAH CAREY didn't record "All I Want For Christmas" at Christmas . . . it was August of 1994.  And PAMELA ANDERSON was the first baby born in Canada on its 100th anniversary, so she got media coverage as the country's "Centennial Baby."  (Full Story)

2.  A new survey found a third of us have bought someone a Christmas present . . . then decided to keep it for ourselves.  And women are more likely to do it than men, 34% to 26%.  (Full Story)

3.  A restaurant in Japan announced they're BANNING couples on Christmas Eve . . . that's that main day people celebrate Christmas in Japan.  They're doing it so single people won't feel bad.  (Full Story)

4.  A new study looked at the Darwin Awards since 1995 . . . you know, those awards for real people who accidentally kill themselves in the stupidest ways possible.  And 88.7% have gone to MEN.  In other words, it's proof that men are more likely to be IDIOTS than women.  (Full Story)

5.  A new study by Pornhub.com found the U.S. is definitely a BUTT country, not a boob country.  Only 10 states prefer boobs to butts . . . Idaho is the most pro-boobs state . . . and Mississippi is the most pro-butt state.  (Full Story)

6.  A new survey found people think it's more annoying when a waiter is TOO attentive than a waiter who disappears or ignores you.  And the third most annoying things waiters do is . . . smell bad.  (Full Story)

STUPID NEWS HIGHLIGHTS - 2 of 2

7.  The Lonely Planet travel guide just released its top U.S. travel destinations for 2015, and the top pick is . . . Queens, New York.  They say it's becoming New York's hippest borough.  They also picked Western South Dakota . . . New Orleans . . . the Colorado River . . . and North Conway, New Hampshire.  (Full Story)

8.  A guy in the Netherlands rented a CRANE to reach his girlfriend's apartment and propose on Saturday . . . but the crane TOPPLED OVER and destroyed her neighbor's roof.  No one was hurt, the girlfriend said yes, and they headed to Paris.  But the crane fell AGAIN later that day and destroyed the rest of the neighbor's roof.  (Full Story)

9.  A 29-year-old guy in Iowa emailed University of Iowa students claiming to be a Victoria's Secret model scout, and told them to submit underwear photos.  And two women actually DID.  He was just arrested for identity theft and unauthorized computer access.  (Full Story)

10.  A 24-year-old guy and his 23-year-old wife in Florida have been squatting in a 7,000 square foot mansion since September . . . but got caught when someone actually bought the house for $1.1 million.  The couple whipped up a fake deed, but dated it Labor Day . . . and since banks were closed that day, they were both arrested for forgery and grand theft.  (Full Story)

11.  Last Wednesday, an unidentified woman walked into a Toys R Us in Bellingham, Massachusetts, and dropped $20,000 to pay for ALL the stuff people had on layaway.  According to a spokesperson, 597 layaway orders were anonymously paid for by people at Toys R Us stores across the country last Christmas.  (Full Story)

STUPID NEWS - 1 of 9

Five Random Facts For Monday

HIGHLIGHTS:  Here are a few random facts for you.  There are 43 countries in the world where spanking your kids is illegal.  MARIAH CAREY didn't record "All I Want For Christmas" at Christmas . . . it was August of 1994.  And PAMELA ANDERSON was the first baby born inCanada on its 100th anniversary, so she got media coverage as the country's "Centennial Baby."

FULL STORY:  Here are some random facts for you . . .

1.  There are 43 countries in the world where spanking your kids is illegal . . . including Germany, New Zealand, Spain, and most of South America.

2.  STING the singer doesn't own the rights to the name Sting.  The registered owner with the U.S. Patent Office is the pro WRESTLER Sting . . . but he lets the other Sting use the name too.

3.  MARIAH CAREY recorded the lyrics for "All I Want For Christmas" in August of 1994.  So they brought Christmas trees into the studio to make it feel like Christmas, even though it was summer.

4.  DR. SEUSS'S real name is Theodor Geisel.  He came up with the pen name Seuss when he was caught drinking in college, got banned from extracurricular activities . . . but wanted to keep writing forDartmouth's humor newspaper.

5.  PAMELA ANDERSON was the first baby born inCanada on July 1st, 1967 . . .Canada's 100th anniversary, so she got media coverage as the country's "Centennial Baby."

(Time / Uproxx / News.com.au / Wikipedia / Wikipedia)

STUPID NEWS - 2 of 9

A Third of Us Have Bought Someone a Christmas Present, Then Decided to Keep It For Ourselves

HIGHLIGHTS:  A new survey found a third of us have bought someone a Christmas present . . . then decided to keep it for ourselves.  And women are more likely to do it than men, 34% to 26%.

FULL STORY:  This is some next level re-gifting right here.  Instead of waiting until you get a lame present to re-gift to someone else . . . you buy a SWEET present for someone then give it to YOURSELF.

A new survey by eBay found about one in three people have bought someone a Christmas present . . . then decided to keep it for themselves.

And women are more likely to do it than men, 34% to 26%.

The survey also found about half of people have bought themselves something while they were doing their gift shopping this year.

(FemaleFirst)

STUPID NEWS - 3 of 9

A Japanese Restaurant Is Banning Couples on Christmas So Single People Don't Feel Bad

HIGHLIGHTS:  A restaurant inJapan announced they're BANNING couples on Christmas Eve . . . that's that main day people celebrate Christmas inJapan.  They're doing it so single people won't feel bad.

FULL STORY:  Christmas can be hard when you're single, and surrounded by happy couples who seem to be MOCKING you at every turn.

Well . . . there's one restaurant that wants to fix that.

PiaPia is a restaurant inTokyo,Japan. . . and they've announced they're BANNING couples from eating dinner there on Christmas Eve.

InJapan, Christmas Eve is the main day people celebrate Christmas . . . or just go out to eat and exchange gifts even if they're NOT Christian.  Then Christmas itself is a regular work day . . . that's just howJapanrolls.

Anyway, the restaurant says they don't want couples making single people feel bad for eating alone . . . OR making their single staff members feel, quote, "severe emotional trauma."  (The Independent)

(Here's a photo of the sign . . . it's in Japanese, but the illustration drives the point home.)

STUPID NEWS - 4 of 9

A Study Proves Men Are More Likely to Be Idiots Than Women

HIGHLIGHTS:  A new study looked at the Darwin Awards since 1995 . . . you know, those awards for real people who accidentally kill themselves in the stupidest ways possible.  And 88.7% have gone to MEN.  In other words, it's proof that men are more likely to be IDIOTS than women.

FULL STORY:  Science just confirmed something we've all known forever:  Men are idiots.

The "British Medical Journal" decided to prove it, so they took a look at the Darwin Awards . . . those are the awards given out every year to real people who accidentally kill themselves in the stupidest ways possible.

For example, a terrorist who tried to mail a bomb in a package, didn't put enough postage on it, so it was returned to him . . . and he OPENED it.

There have been 318 awards given out since 1995 that were independently verified as TRUE by the Darwin Awards committee . . . 282 were given to men, and 36 were given to women.

That means 88.7% of the Darwin Award winners are men . . . which is statistically significant proof that men are more likely to be IDIOTS than women.

(BMJ)

STUPID NEWS - 5 of 9

America Prefers Butts to Boobs . . . Only 10 States Prefer Breasts

HIGHLIGHTS:  A new study by Pornhub.com found theU.S. is definitely a BUTT country, not a boob country.  Only 10 states prefer boobs to butts . . .Idaho is the most pro-boobs state . . . andMississippi is the most pro-butt state.

FULL STORY:  America is more unified in its love of a JUICY DOUBLE than in its love of any political candidate since RONALD REAGAN in 1984.

Pornhub.com just analyzed its searches to find out whether each state prefers BOOBS or BUTTS . . . and the answer was BUTTS in a landslide.

Only 10 states prefer boobs: Idaho,Montana,Utah,Wyoming,North Dakota,South Dakota,Iowa,New Hampshire,Vermont, andMaine.  So yeah, boob love is heavily clustered inNew Englandand the 'Big Sky' region out west.

Overall,Idahois the most pro-boobs state in the country.  On the other side,Mississippiis the most pro-butt state in the country.

When you look at it from a global perspective, there's a more even split between boobs and butts.

Along with theU.S., some of the other big pro-butt countries areMexico, all of South America except forArgentina, all of Africa exceptEgypt, the entireMiddle East, and a lot of the former Soviet republics.

The big pro-boob countries are Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Russia, China, India, and pretty much all of Europe.  (Pornhub)  (Here's a U.S. and world map showing the breakdown.)

STUPID NEWS - 6 of 9

What's More Annoying:  A Waiter Who Ignores You, or One Who Smothers You?

HIGHLIGHTS:  A new survey found people think it's more annoying when a waiter is TOO attentive than a waiter who disappears or ignores you.  And the third most annoying things waiters do is . . . smell bad.

FULL STORY:  It's a delicate balance when it comes to how much attention you want from a waiter.  You don't want someone who's impossible to find and ignores you . . . but you also don't want someone hovering for your entire meal.

So . . . which is worse?  According to a new survey, people are more annoyed by super ATTENTIVE waiters than by absentee ones.  Here are the top five most annoying things servers do . . .

1.  Being overly attentive.

2.  Ignoring you.

3.  Bad body odor.

4.  Coughing.

5.  Getting "too familiar" with you . . . like sitting down at the table with you to take your order.

Continued . . .

STUPID NEWS - 7 of 9

What's More Annoying:  A Waiter Who Ignores You, or One Who Smothers You?

The survey also found the most annoying things that OTHER people at a restaurant do.  Check 'em out . . .

1.  Talking on cell phones.

2.  Generally being loud.

3.  Getting too drunk.

4.  Starting conversations with strangers who are eating.

5.  Coughing or seeming sick.

6.  Swearing.

7.  Sexually rubbing on each other during dinner.

8.  Dressing inappropriately.

9.  Smoking e-cigarettes.

(Daily Mail)

STUPID NEWS - 8 of 9

The Top Travel Destination For the U.S. in 2015 Is . . . Queens, New York?

HIGHLIGHTS:  The Lonely Planet travel guide just released its topU.S. travel destinations for 2015, and the top pick is . . .Queens,New York.  They say it's becomingNew York's hippest borough.  They also picked Western South Dakota . . .New Orleans . . . the Colorado River . . . andNorth Conway,New Hampshire.

FULL STORY:  There are going to be a lot of disappointed tourists in theU.S. next year if they follow the advice in the Lonely Planet travel guide.

Lonely Planet just released their list of the top travel destinations in the U.S.for 2015.  And number one is . . . Queens, New York.  Even KEVIN JAMES would hear that and say . . . "Really?"

They picked it because, quote, "New York's largest borough is also quickly becoming its hippest . . . with microbreweries springing up, new boutique hotels, a reinvented seaside at Rockaway, a world-class art scene, and a truly global food culture."

The rest of the top 10 are:  Western South Dakota . . . New Orleans . . . the Colorado River . . . North Conway, New Hampshire . . . Indianapolis . . . Greenville, South Carolina . . . Oakland, California . . . Duluth, Minnesota . . . and Mount Shasta, California.  (Lonely Planet)

(You can see the explanations behind all of the picks here.)

STUPID NEWS - 9 of 9

A Guy Rents a Crane For an Elaborate Marriage Proposal . . . and Accidentally Destroys His Girlfriend's Apartment Building

HIGHLIGHTS:  A guy in theNetherlands rented a CRANE to reach his girlfriend's apartment and propose on Saturday . . . but the crane TOPPLED OVER and destroyed her neighbor's roof.  No one was hurt, the girlfriend said yes, and they headed toParis.  But the crane fell AGAIN later that day and destroyed the rest of the neighbor's roof.

FULL STORY:  I know there's an impulse these days to make EVERYTHING a spectacular stunt . . . but please stop.  Not everything in life has to go viral.

A guy in the Netherlandswas proposing to his girlfriend this weekend, and decided to do something WAY over-the-top.  (It happened in a town called IJsselstein.)

So he rented a CRANE, parked it outside his girlfriend's apartment Saturday morning, and lifted himself up to her bedroom window.

But as the crane lifted him up, it TOPPLED OVER . . . and fell straight into the neighbor's ROOF.

No one was hurt, and the guy's girlfriend said yes.  So after they talked with the cops, they headed off on a surprise trip toParis.

But that's not the end.  As the crane operators were trying to get the crane out of the neighbor's roof using a bigger crane, it fell AGAIN.  This time it destroyed the REST of the neighbor's roof . . . and made six other apartments unsafe to be in.

There's no word on what charges might be coming.  (Huffington Post)  (Here's a photo of the crane and the roof.)

STUPID CRIMINALS - 1 of 2

A Guy Posed as a Victoria's Secret Model Scout So Women Would Send Him Underwear Photos . . . and It Worked?

HIGHLIGHTS:  A 29-year-old guy inIowa emailedUniversity ofIowa students claiming to be aVictoria's Secret model scout, and told them to submit underwear photos.  And two women actually DID.  He was just arrested for identity theft and unauthorized computer access.

FULL STORY:  I'm not sure there's an older scam in the pervert handbook than telling women you're a MODEL scout . . . but somehow it's STILL working.

29-year-old Sean Boies ofIowa City,Iowasent an email toUniversityofIowastudents in January claiming he was aVictoria's Secret scout.

He told women interested in being models to upload photos of themselves in their underwear, so they could be flown toMiamifor a photo shoot.  And two women actually DID it.

He also ran a few survey scams where he promised gift cards in exchange for filling them out . . . but used the results to phish passwords and steal student accounts.

Then he used a student account to post thatVictoria's Secret thing, to give it credibility and distance himself from it.  Clearly it didn't work.

He was arrested on Thursday for two counts of identity theft and unauthorized computer access.  (Quad City Times / NBC 7 - Waterloo) 

(Here's his mugshot.)

STUPID CRIMINALS - 2 of 2

A Couple Got Busted Squatting in a $1.1 Million Home Because of a Mistake on Their Forged Deed

HIGHLIGHTS:  A 24-year-old guy and his 23-year-old wife inFlorida have been squatting in a 7,000 square foot mansion since September . . . but got caught when someone actually bought the house for $1.1 million.  The couple whipped up a fake deed, but dated it Labor Day . . . and since banks were closed that day, they were both arrested for forgery and grand theft.

FULL STORY:  24-year-old Justin Dean and his 23-year-old wife Jenna are not millionaires.  We're not even sure they're thousandaires, since they run a marginally successful horse grooming company.  But for a few months, they got to live like royals.

Justin and Jenna moved themselves into a 7,000 square foot mansion inKeystone Heights,Floridain September.  The home had been in foreclosure since 2011 and they must've thought it was going to stay that way . . . so they decided to SQUAT.

They even posted photos on Facebook of their new house, which they claimed they bought for just $1,000 after, quote, "years of looking and harassing banks about their foreclosures."

But there was a problem, when someone ACTUALLY bought the house in September for $1.1 million . . . and found the Deans living there.  The only piece of furniture the Deans had in the six-bedroom house was . . . a pool table.

Justin and Jenna quickly Photoshopped a deed to the place, but made a critical mistake on it . . . they dated it September 1st, which was Labor Day.  The banks were closed on Labor Day, so they couldn't have gotten their deed that day.

They were both arrested for forgery and grand theft.  (Florida Times-Union)  (Here are their mugshots plus a few photos of the house.)

BIRTHDAYS - 1 of 3

Stefania Owens is 17.  Carrie's rebellious younger sister on "The Carrie Diaries".

Camilla Ludington is 31.  British minx who plays Dr. Jo Wilson on "Grey's Anatomy" and is the new Lara Croft for the "Tomb Raider" video game franchise.

Charlie Cox is 32.  Owen Slater on "Boardwalk Empire".  You might also remember him playing Ishmael on Encore's "Moby Dick" mini-series.

Julie Berry is 34.  Native American minx from "Survivor:  Vanuatu".  She used to nail Jeff Probst ANY TIME SHE WANTED TO!

Adam Brody is 35.  Played the charmingly geeky Seth Cohen on "The O.C.".  More importantly, though, he was a young Barry Williams in the made-for-TV CLASSIC, "Growing Up Brady"!  Recently he was on MTV's "Good Vibes".

(Adam was AWESOME as indie band singer Nikolai Wolf in "Jennifer's Body".  The movie could have been better, but he NAILED IT.)

Surya Bonaly is 41.  Nubian French ice skater.

BIRTHDAYS - 2 of 3

Stuart Townsend is 42.  Rock 'n roll vampire Lestat in "Queen of the Damned".  He nailed Charlize Theron for YEARS . . . but that ship finally sailed.  Recently he was on ABC's "Betrayal".

(He was also originally hired to play Aragorn in the "Lord of the Rings" movies . . . but he was dropped and Viggo Mortensen took over the role.)

Michael Shanks is 44.  Dr. Daniel Jackson on the "Stargate" TV series and he had a recurring role as Hawkman on "Smallville".  Now he's Dr. Charlie Harris on "Saving Hope".

NICK BEGGS! is 53.  KAJAGOOGOO!  He handles backing vocals AND bass!)  (Remember the '80s?  YOOOUUU'RRRE "TOO SHY" SHY . . . HUSH-HUSH, EYE TO EYE!  (??????)

Reginald Hudlin is 53.  Superstar director of "House Party" AND "The Ladies Man".

Paul Simonon is 59.  Bass player for the Clash.  He wrote the amazing "Guns of Brixton".  That's also him smashing his bass on the cover of their third album, 1979's "London Calling", which included the title track and "The Guns of Brixton".

BIRTHDAYS - 3 of 3

DON JOHNSON! is 65.  "Nash Bridges", "Miami Vice" and THE coolest movie of 2010, "Machete"!  He used to nail the incredibly annoying Melanie Griffith.

(Did anyone actually think that "Miami Vice" movie worked AT ALL without the DON JOHNSON FACTOR?  Yeah.  I didn't think so.  Colin Farrell as Crockett and Jamie Foxx as Tubbs?  Not where I come from, es-say.)

Dave Clark is 72.  Drummer and leader of the Dave Clark Five!  Their 1964 album, "Glad All Over", features their hits "Bits and Pieces", "Glad All Over", a cover of "Tequila!" AND "No Time to Lose".

Cindy Birdsong is 75.  The Supremes . . . after 1967.

Tim Conway is 81.  Comedy genius.

Alan Freed  (1921 - 1965)  Disc-Jedi who coined the term "Rock 'n Roll" in 1951.

DECEMBER 15th - BACK IN THE DAY - 1 of 3

160 years ago . . . In 1854, the FIRST STREET CLEANING MACHINE was put into operation inPhiladelphia.  DON'T LITTER!

124 years ago . . . In 1890, the legendary Sioux Indian leader SITTING BULL, who was about 60 years old, was shot to death by federal troops on a South Dakota reservation.  DON'T TRUST WHITEY!

70 years ago . . . In 1944, legendary bandleader GLENN MILLER died when the plane he was flying in disappeared in thick fog over the English Channel.

A group of former British Royal Air Force pilots finally admitted in 1985 that when they were unable to drop their bombs onGermanyduring a routine bombing run, they dropped the bombs over theEnglish Channel. . .

. . . where, unknown to them at the time, Glenn Miller's plane was flying.  DON'T DROP BOMBS OVER THEENGLISH CHANNELAND KILL BANDLEADERS!

62 years ago . . . In 1952, CHRISTINE JORGENSON became the first person to undergo a SEX-CHANGE operation.  DON'T CUT OFF YOUR OWN GENITALS!

48 years ago . . . In 1966, WALT DISNEY died of lung cancer inBurbank,California, at the age of 65.  DON'T SMOKE!

DECEMBER 15th - BACK IN THE DAY - 2 of 3

46 years ago . . . In 1968, JEFFERSON AIRPLANE appeared on the "Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour".

Lead singer GRACE SLICK performed in BLACKFACE and raised a black leather-gloved fist in a black power salute after singing "Crown of Creation".

The incident was one of the reasons the Smothers Brothers' show was canceled in 1969.  DON'T PERFORM IN BLACKFACE AND RUIN THE CAREERS OF TWO HARD-WORKING WHITE MEN!

41 years ago . . . In 1973, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN opened at DISNEYWORLD, six years after it first appeared at Disneyland.  It was the very last attraction that Walt Disney helped design himself.

Jack Sparrow wasn't added in until 2006.  DON'T CUT IN LINE!

28 years ago . . . In 1986, KENNY ROGERS cut a deal with the DOLE FOOD COMPANY worth $17 million . . . making him the highest-paid celebrity pitchman at the time.

DON'T BUY ROASTED CHICKEN FROM A COUNTRY SINGER WHO PIMPS PINEAPPLES!

DECEMBER 15th - BACK IN THE DAY - 3 of 3

25 years ago . . . In 1989, PRESIDENT BUSH THE FIRST sent U.S. troops into Panama to battle forces supporting General MANUEL NORIEGA. Panama responded by naming Noriega the head of its government and declaring war on theUnited States.

(Since then, Noriega and his beautiful pock-marked face sat in aU.S.prison . . . except for a little while in 2004, when he had a minor stroke and got taken to a Miami-area hospital.)

(Noriega's prison sentence technically ended in September 2007 but he's still in prison waiting on the outcome of extradition requests from both Panama and France.)

(DON'T MAKE WAR!  DON'T GET ACNE!  DON'T VISIT NORIEGA IN PRISON!)

11 years ago . . . In 2003, six weeks after having her leg amputated to prevent an aggressively cancerous tumor in her foot from spreading to the rest of her body and killing her . . .

16-year-old Becca Solodon was the opening performer at MARIAH CAREY'S "Charmbracelet" tour stop inSanta Barbara!

Carey gave Solodon the unusual opportunity after hearing about her story.  DON'T LET ADVERSITY HOLD YOU DOWN!

(Becca Solodon is now a spokesperson for the Teddy Bear Cancer Foundation.  Check out her website here.)