Whatever 11.4

Your daily dose of WHATEVER!!

Was Justin Bieber Caught Sneaking Out of a Whorehouse in Brazil? 

JUSTIN BIEBER was spotted leaving a WHOREHOUSE in Rio de Janeiro on Friday.  He was trying to hide under a blanket.  He and a friend brought some girls with them back to his hotel.  The following night he ended a concert early after someone hit him with a water bottle.

18-Year-Old Kendall Jenner Is Getting Offers to Do Porn 

KENDALL JENNER turned 18 yesterday . . . and the PORN OFFERS are already rolling in.  According to TMZ, at least SIX companies are offering Kendall BIG MONEY to become famous the way her big sister KIM KARDASHIAN did.

One company, Bangyoulater.com, is offering $1.8 MILLION for Kendall and a partner of her choosing to get it on for them. 

Chris Kirkpatrick Got Married . . . And the Other 'N Sync Guys Were His Groomsmen 

CHRIS KIRKPATRICK married his girlfriend Karly Skladany in Orlando, Florida on Wednesday . . . and the other guys in 'N SYNC were his groomsmen . . . including Justin Timberlake, who brought his wife Jessica Biel with him.  Lance Bass said Chris got their tuxes at MEN'S WAREHOUSE.

Courtney Stodden is Divorcing Her Creepy Husband 

Former "teen bride" COURTNEY STODDEN is divorcing her creepy, older husband DOUG HUTCHISON.

Courtney is 19 now, and Doug is 53.  But when they got married in 2011, she was 16, and he was 51.  Doug had to get permission from Courtney's parents to marry her.  For some reason, they were okay with it.

A source says Courtney feels a lot more independent since doing Britain's "Celebrity Big Brother" . . . quote, "She was so reliant on Doug up until doing the show, but after going so far away, she realized she could survive by herself."

The "Tan Mom" Is Leaving Her Husband 

"Tan Mom" PATRICIA KRENTCIL is divorcing her husband of 8 years, after she found out he cheated on her when he failed a lie detector test on that reality show "The Test".

She wants custody of their two kids, as well as $1,000 A WEEK in spousal and child support.  For some reason, this guy actually wants to STAY with Patricia.  He's hoping to work things out.

Celebrities Who Became Homeless 

A list of celebrities who became homeless includes Erin Moran, Danny Bonaduce, Willie Aames, Margot Kidder and Brett Butler.

"Ender's Game" Is #1 With $28 Million

The sci-fi movie "Ender's Game" was #1 at the box office this weekend with $28 million in ticket sales.  That was above industry expectations, but still not great for a movie that cost more than $100 million to make.

The MICHAEL DOUGLAS-ROBERT DE NIRO comedy "Last Vegas" opened in 3rd place with $16.5 million, just beating the 3D animated kids movie "Free Birds", which debuted in 4th place with $16.2 million. 

Here are this week's Top 10 movies:

1.  (NEW)  "Ender's Game", $28 million.

2.  "Bad Grandpa", $20.5 million.  Up to $62.1 million in its 2nd week.  

3.  (NEW)  "Last Vegas", $16.5 million.

4.  (NEW)  "Free Birds", $16.2 million.

5.  "Gravity", $13.1 million.  Up to $219 million in its 5th week.    

6.  "Captain Phillips", $8.5 million.  Up to $82.6 million in its 4th week. 

7.  "12 Years a Slave", $4.6 million.  Up to $8.8 million in its 3rd week of limited release.

8.  "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2", $4.2 million.  Up to $106 million in its 6th week.

9.  "Carrie", $3.4 million.  Up to $32 million in its 3rd week.  

10.  "The Counselor", $3.3 million.  Up to $13.4 million in its 2nd week. 

Monday TV Reminders:

• "Monday Night Football" . . . 8:30 to 11:30 P.M. Eastern on ESPN.  The Green Bay Packers host the Chicago Bears at Lambeau Field.

• "The Voice" [The Live Playoffs] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC.  Christina Aguilera performs with Flo Rida.

• "Dancing with the Stars". . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.  Music Guest:  Cher.

• "How I Met Your Mother". . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on ABC.  Cristin Milioti returns as Ted's future wife, the "Mother" from the show's title.

• "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" [4th Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Bravo.

• "Mike & Molly" [4th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on CBS.

• "Vanderpump Rules" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Bravo.

• "The Real Housewives of Miami" [3rd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Bravo.

• "Watch What Happens:  Live" . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Bravo.  Whitney Cummings ("Whitney") and Lisa Vanderpump ("Vanderpump Rules") are guests.

Early Morning Show Guests:

• "The Today Show" - Jason Statham ("Homefront"), co-authors Mark Halperin and John Heilemann ("Double Down: Game Change 2012").  Music Guest:  Fifth Harmony.

• "Good Morning America" - Corey Feldman for his book "Coreyography: A Memoir".  Music Guest:  The Wanted.

• "CBS This Morning" - Oprah Winfrey, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, Senator Kelly Ayotte, and author Amy Tan ("The Valley of Amazement").

Mid-Morning Show Guests:

• "Live! With Kelly and Michael" - Jason Statham ("Homefront") and Pharrell Williams ("Styled to Rock").

• "The View" - Seth Green ("Dads"), Lisa Vanderpump and Kyle Richards ("The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"), co-authors Mark Halperin and John Heilemann ("Double Down: Game Change 2012").  Brad Garrett guest co-hosts until Wednesday.

• "Rachael Ray" - Regis and Joy Philbin, plus Bill and Kristen Bellamy.

This Afternoon On TV:

• "Ellen DeGeneres" - Melissa McCarthy ("Mike & Molly").

• "The Talk" - Zachary Levi ("Thor: The Dark World"), Kirk Fox ("Who Gets the Last Laugh?"), and "Top Chef's" C.J. Jacobson.  Marie Osmond co-host.

• "Katie Couric" - Aziz Ansari ("Parks and Recreation").

• "Queen Latifah Show" - Cloris Leachman ("Raising Hope") and an 8-year-old antiques expert offers advice.  Music Guest:  Queen Latifah.

• "Steve Harvey" - "Can Women Truly Have It All? Steve Hosts a Debate of Real Women to Discuss Motherhood, Career and Marriage!"

• "Dr. Phil" - "Starving Myself: Killing My Family".

• "Dr. Oz Show" - "Metabolism Game Changer".  Dr. Oz examines a natural weight-loss tool, natural appetite suppressants and metabolism personalities.

• "Wendy Williams" - Chef Rocco DiSpirito (Food Network's "Restaurant Divided") and lifestyle expert Noah Levy.

• "Bethenny" - Loni Love (host of "The Real"), relationship advisor Tionna Smalls, and "Top Chef's" Hung Huynh help celebrate Bethenny's birthday.  Music Guest:  Rick Springfield.

Tonight's Late Night Talk Shows:

• "Letterman" - Woody Harrelson ("Free Birds") and 2013 World Series MVP David Ortiz.  Music Guest:  The Wanted.

• "Jimmy Kimmel" - Chris Hemsworth ("Thor: The Dark World") and Artie Lange for his book "Crash and Burn".  Music Guest:  Jane's Addiction.

• "The Tonight Show" - Anthony Hopkins ("Thor: The Dark World").  Music Guest:  Sting.

• "Jimmy Fallon" - Simon Baker ("The Mentalist") and Senator John McCain.  Music Guest:  The Dismemberment Plan.

• "Carson Daly" - Singer Caitlin Crosby.  Music Guest:  STRFKR.

• "Arsenio" - Barkhad Abdi ("Captain Phillips") and Michael Weatherly ("NCIS").  Music Guest:  Janelle Monáe.

• "Conan" - Brie Larson ("Short Term 12") and Kevin Kline ("Last Vegas").  Music Guest:  King Krule.

• "Craig Ferguson" - Lauren Graham ("Parenthood") and Eugenio Derbez.

• "Chelsea Lately" - Tom Hiddleston ("Thor: The Dark World").

• "Jon Stewart" - "Good Morning America" correspondent Bob Woodruff.

• "The Colbert Report" - Author David Folkenflik ("Murdoch's World: The Last of the Old Media Empires").

The Eight Things People Like That Aren't Normally Considered Attractive

1.  Dark circles under the eyes, like the person hasn't slept.

2.  Slightly crossed eyes.

3.  When left-handed people do things with their left hand.

4.  An overbite . . . the more horse-like, the better.

5.  Young men with gray hair.

6.  Large noses.

7.  Super pale skin.

8.  Female bodybuilders.  (Reddit)

Men Have Faked More Orgasms Than Women . . . and Four Other New Sex Stats

According to a new survey, MEN are more likely to fake an orgasm than women, 23% to 21%.  Men are also more likely to blurt out "I love you" during sex when they don't mean it.  And 6.25% of both men and women have faked CRYING during sex.

(Daily Telegraph)

Men in the U.S. Are Going to Prostitutes at Historically Low Rates . . . Are Hook-Up Apps the Reason?

Only 9.1% of men in the U.S. say they've paid for sex, which is historically low.  And the theory is . . . men aren't paying because now TECHNOLOGY lets them find people to have sex with for free.  Between websites like Adult Friend Finder and Craigslist Casual Encounters and hook-up apps like Tinder and Grindr, men have a better chance of finding sex without paying for it.

(Seattle Times)

Our Eight Biggest Fantasies . . . Outside the Bedroom

:  What's your biggest fantasy?  And we're talking OUTSIDE the bedroom.  Some of the most common ones we've heard are saving someone's life . . . running away and starting from scratch . . . winning the lottery and figuring out how you'd spend the money . . . and performing music to a sold-out crowd.

1.  Feeling like you could jump buildings and beat people up after watching an action movie.

2.  Saving someone's life.  That also includes the fantasy of having the pilot pass out, and YOU being the one who steps up and safely lands the plane.

3.  Having a family with its own traditions that SEEM lame on the outside, but that everyone really loves . . . like Tuesday night pizza or board game night.

4.  Running away and starting over from scratch.

5.  Performing music to a massive, sold-out, adoring crowd.

6.  Winning the lottery and figuring out how to spend the money . . . not all of it, but figuring out what to buy with a few million immediately.

7.  Having super powers, like the ability to time travel or fly.

8.  Finding a good, comfortable relationship.  (Reddit)

A Guy Calls 911 Because His Girlfriend "Believes She Does No Wrong" . . . and the Deputy Actually Gives Them Relationship Counseling

On Thursday night, a man in Texas called 911 to report his girlfriend was SELF-CENTERED.  When a deputy went to the house, instead of lecturing the guy on wasting police time, the deputy decided to give him RELATIONSHIP ADVICE . . . and told him with a positive attitude, he could get past their issues.

.  (ABC 7 - Tyler)

The Average Person Feels 13 Years Younger Than They Are

This was only a survey of middle-aged people, but I bet it applies to everyone from 25 to 112.  The survey found people feel an average of THIRTEEN YEARS YOUNGER than they actually are.  So if you're 50, you feel like you're 37.

The survey also found as many as one in eight middle-aged people feel like they're 30 years old or younger. 

(UPI)

Lay's Is Introducing Chocolate-Dipped Potato Chips This Week

Until now, if you wanted chocolate-covered potato chips, you had to melt the chocolate and dip the chips yourself.  LIKE A CAVEMAN.  Finally SOMEONE realized there's money to be made from combining two of America's favorite foods.

Lay's just announced they'll be selling chocolate-covered potato chips . . . and the chips hit stores this week.  Their wavy potato chips will be covered in milk chocolate and cost $3.49 for a bag. 

(USA Today)

Three Stupid Survival Stories:  A Guy Who Ate His Dog, a Guy Who Was Too Drunk to Die, and a Guy Who Got Thrown Off a Cliff by a Bear?

1.  44-year-old Marco Lavoie set out in July for a long solo canoeing trip in northwestern Quebec.  But when a bear attacked his campground and destroyed his food and equipment, he was SCREWED.

Luckily his German shepherd scared off the bear.  But after a few days . . . Marco decided he had to KILL and EAT HIS DOG to survive.  He was finally found on October 21st, dehydrated, hypothermic, and half his body weight.  (Gawker)

2.  Last week, a guy decided to take a swim in FREEZING water in Kent, England after a night out drinking.  He was in the water for 45 minutes before he was rescued, and he SHOULD'VE died . . . but the BOOZE saved his life.

Because he'd had about eight drinks, it slowed down his body's reaction to the cold and kept him alive.  (Daily Mail)

3.  Last week, in Kabardino-Balkaria, Russia, an 80-year-old man named Yusef Alchagirov was out walking when he came face-to-face with a bear.  He tried to STAB it, but the bear swatted the knife away.  So Yusef HEADBUTTED it.

But this time when the bear hit back, it knocked Yusef off a CLIFF.  Somehow Yusef survived . . . and he says headbutting the bear was the only reason it didn't kill him.  (Ria Novosti)

Birthdays

Jean-Luc Bilodeau - 23  (Ben Wheeler on ABC's "Baby Daddy".)

Mya Mason - 29  (Nubian mattress actress who has starred in 152 fine films, including . . . "Choc Full A Nut", "Grand Theft Anal 2" and "Toys In Da Hood".)

Trishelle Cannatella - 34  ("Real World" and "Surreal Life" skank, who went on to do some grappling on "Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling", on CMT.)

Curtis Stone - 38  (Aussie celebrity chef who is more "celebrity" than "chef" these days.  You've seen him over and over on "The Biggest Loser", "America's Next Great Restaurant", "Top Chef Masters", and "Around the World in 80 Plates".)

Bethenny Frankel - 43  (One of the original "Real Housewives of New York City" and a legit multimillionaire thanks to her talk show, SkinnyGirl cocktail line and various other business ventures.  Like every other female celebrity these days, she now has her own daytime talk show.)

Puff Diddy - 44

Matthew McConaughey - 44  (Bongo loving, pot-smoking nudist.)

RALPH MACCHIO! - 52  ("Karate Kid 1, 2 AND 3", and fourth-place finisher on the 12th season of "Dancing With the Stars" this past spring!  Master Thespian Ralph Macchio passed on the role of Marty McFly in "Back to the Future" because he thought it sounded too goofy.  Good career move.)

Jeff Probst - 52  (Hung "Survivor" host.)

Kathy Griffin - 53  (She was Vicki on "Suddenly Susan" and the host of "Kathy Griffin:  My Life on the D-List".  She's got the fire down below.)

Markie Post - 63  ("Night Court" minx.)

"LUSCIOUS" LAURA BUSH - 67

LORETTA SWIT! - 76  (NAUGHTY MINX THAT IS "HOT LIPS" ON "M*A*S*H" . . . who in recent years spoke out to try to get foie gras banned in Chicago.)

"DELICIOUS" DORIS ROBERTS! - 83  (Ray's mom on "Everybody Loves Raymond".)

Walter Cronkite - Would have been 97 - (1916 - 2009)

Alfred Heineken - Would have been 90 - (1923 - 2002)  (Dutch brewery genius.)

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• 4 days to "Thor: The Dark World"

• 18 days to "Catching Fire"

• 24 days until Thanksgiving

• 39 days to "The Desolation of Smaug"

• 51 days until Christmas

• 1,173 days left of "Hope and Change"

171 years ago . . . in 1842 - ABRAHAM LINCOLN married MARY TODD at his sister's house in Springfield, Illinois.  Randy playboy Abraham Lincoln was so depressed about getting married, friends had to keep sharp objects away from him. (True!)

134 years ago . . . in 1879 - Ohio bar owner J. Ritty INVENTED THE CASH REGISTER to stop bartenders from pocketing his profits.  (Apparently, he didn't have a no-nonsense "cooler" like Patrick Swayze's Dalton to keep them from SKIMMING FROM THE TILL.)

61 years ago . . . in 1952 - GENERAL DWIGHT EISENHOWER defeated Adlai Stevenson to become the 34th U.S. president.

50 years ago . . . in 1963 - THE BEATLES played a Royal Command Performance in front of British royalty in London.  This was the show where JOHN LENNON said, quote, "Will people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?  All the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry."

34 years ago . . . in 1979 - Revolutionaries in Iran stormed the U.S. EMBASSY IN TEHRAN and took 90 hostages.  Some of the captives, including women, blacks and non-Americans were released a few weeks later, but 52 of them were kept in captivity for 444 days.  They were finally freed on PRESIDENT REAGAN'S inauguration day, January 20th, 1981.

33 years ago . . . in 1980 - RONALD REAGAN was elected president over the lustful JIMMY CARTER.

27 years ago . . . in 1986 - Painkiller addict TAMMY WYNETTE checked into the Betty Ford Clinic.

18 years ago . . . in 1995 - Israeli Prime Minister YITZHAK RABIN was assassinated by a right-wing Jewish extremist minutes after attending a PEACE RALLY.

17 years ago . . . in 1996 - MELISSA ETHERIDGE and her life-partner JULIE CYPHER set tongues wagging (pun intended) when they appeared on the cover of "Newsweek", promoting an article on gay parents.

8 years ago . . . in 2005 - PAGE KENNEDY was fired from the cast of "Desperate Housewives" for allegedly flashing his "junk" at two female staffers.

5 years ago . . . in 2008 - BARACK OBAMA was elected the 44th President of the United States.

Two years ago . . . in 2011 - "60 Minutes" legend ANDY ROONEY died at the age of 92.

10 Year Flashback:  Are the Wayans Brothers Making a Movie Where They Dress Up as the Hilton Sisters? . . . and Flash-Forward to "White Chicks"

Our Flashback section features a story we were talking about on The Complete Sheet 10 years ago to this day.  We've also added some modern perspective to give these stories some context today.