Your daily dose of Whatever!

 

SHOWBIZ HIGHLIGHTS - 1 of 4

 

 

1.  ANGELINA JOLIE is turning into quite the HOMEMAKER.  She says, quote, "I think we have more moments where I'm like, 'I'm gonna be a better wife.  I'm gonna be a better cook.'  And [Brad's] like, 'Oh, honey, know what your'e good at.  Know what you're not.'  [But] no, no, I'm gonna get this wife thing down!'"  (Full Story)

 

 

 

2.  A picture on the cover of "In Touch Weekly" shows ANGELINE JOLIE SMOKING on a hotel balcony.  Last year, Angelina had a double-mastectomy after learning she had the so-called "breast cancer gene" . . . so she should know better.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

3.  RadarOnline.com says that KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN walked out on SCOTT DISICK.  She took the kids to a friend's house for a few days last week because she couldn't deal with him.  A source says, quote, "Unfortunately this is not just a story line for the show . . . it's something she has been dealing with for years."  (Full Story)

 

 

 

 

 

 

5.  There's a paparazzi photo of VERNE "MINI-ME" TROYER struggling to lug a Butterball turkey from his scooter into his house.  On one hand, it's kind of mean . . . but on the other, you have to admit the picture is pretty funny, because the turkey is almost as big as him.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

SHOWBIZ HIGHLIGHTS - 2 of 4

 

 

6.  Ask.com released the list of its Top 10 Celebrity Searches so far this year, and ROBIN WILLIAMS is #1, followed by JENNIFER LAWRENCE, who had everyone seeking out her stolen nude photos.  Jay Z, Kim Kardashian, and Joan Rivers round out the Top 5.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

7.  Some people think JOHNNY DEPP has lost his COOL at the box office . . . but Johnny says he doesn't care anymore.  He explains, quote, "Not giving [an eff], that's the total liberation.  Being game to try anything . . . [You can] sit there and stare at the clock in fear of your ultimate demise . . . or you just live."  (Full Story)

 

 

 

8.  The "New York Post" claims CHEVY CHASE was a "train wreck" during an on-stage appearance at a Humane Society event last Friday night.  Supposedly, Chevy seemed "out of it," and "rambled on and repeated himself."  (Full Story)

 

 

 

9.  Last year, BILL COSBY was the THIRD most trusted celebrity.  Now, he's at #2,615.  That's a drop of 2,612 places.  He made a similar drop on the list of celebrities people think would make good product spokespeople.  He WAS fifth on that list . . . now he's at #2,746.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

10.  In 1989, BILL COSBY supposedly handed a story to the "National Enquirer" about his daughter's drug and alcohol abuse, in order to keep them from running a piece they had on his philandering.  It involved Bill, quote, "swinging with SAMMY DAVIS JR. and some showgirls in Las Vegas."  (Full Story)

 

 

 

11.  The sequel to "Horrible Bosses" is in theaters this weekend.  It's up against two BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH movies.  He's an animated animal spy in "Penguins of Madagascar" and a deliciously gay WWII code breaker in "Imitation Game" . . . although that one is only in limited release.  (New Movies)

 

 

 

SHOWBIZ HIGHLIGHTS - 3 of 4

 

 

12.  A few years ago, there was a movie about JONI MITCHELL in development, starring TAYLOR SWIFT.  Now, Joni says she blocked it from being made, mostly because of the content, which she said was "a lot of gossip."  But it also doesn't sound like she loved the idea of Taylor playing her.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

13.  The Latest Trailers:  "Jurassic World", "Peter Pan", and Jennifer Aniston Looking Dumpy in "Cake"  (Full Story)

 

 

 

14.  Despite what you may have heard, Budweiser is NOT phasing out their Clydesdales ads.  On social media, they said, quote, "Don't believe everything that trends.  The Budweiser Clydesdales aren't going anywhere."  (Full Story)

 

 

 

15.  NICOLE KIDMAN and REESE WITHERSPOON will co-star in a "limited series" called "Big Little Lies".  There's no network attached yet . . . so it's too early to say when it might premiere.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

16.  22.4 million people got to see Giants rookie ODELL BECKHAM JR. make the greatest catch in NFL history.  The "American Music Awards" had 11.6 million viewers and the premiere of KATHERINE HEIGL's "State of Affairs" had 8.7 million.  (Weekly Ratings)

 

 

 

 

 

 

18.  JORDIN SPARKS has a new mixtape called "#ByeFelicia", and it features a remix of DRAKE'S song "How Bout Now" that totally RIPS her ex, JASON DERULO.  It has the lyric:  "You didn't really [eff] with me way back then, but how 'bout now?  'Cause I'm up right now and you suck right now."  (Full Story)

 

 

 

SHOWBIZ HIGHLIGHTS - 4 of 4

 

 

19.  ARIANA GRANDE doesn't get why BETTE MIDLER said she's whoring it up.  She Tweeted, quote, "Bette was always a feminist who stood for women being able to do whatever they wanted . . . not sure where that Bette went."  She added that she's still a fan.  And Bette later Tweeted that Ariana has a "beautiful voice," but didn't take what she said back.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

20.  Urban Quick HitsPharrell, Macklemore, and K. Michelle

 

 

 

21.  "Rolling Stone" has a list of the "13 Greatest Songs for Thanksgiving""Blessed" by Martina McBride is #1, followed by Travis Tritt's "It's a Great Day to Be Alive", and Keith Urban's "But For The Grace of God".  (Full Story)

 

 

 

22.  You won't find JAKE OWEN yanking his music from Spotify.  He says, quote, "Certain people have their reasons for pulling off, but from the time I started on a barstool I was never driven by money.  I just wanted to reach fans.  Spotify is an awesome way to reach the fans."  (Full Story)

 

 

 

23.  MIRANDA LAMBERT can't imagine doing anything else but being a country performer.  She says, quote, "I don't know where I'd be or what I'd be doing if I weren't doing this because it's the only thing I can do.  I've been playing music for a living for 12 years, and I'm dang sure not stopping now."  (Full Story)

 

 

 

24.  Country Quiz:  Who Said?  "I would rather my pants fall off on stage than this hat."  Answer:  DUSTIN LYNCH.  He adds, quote, "When this hat falls off, if I knock it off myself or do some weird sort of scissor kick jump on stage and it falls off, I feel naked."  (Full Story)

 

 

 

 

 

 

SHOWBIZ SEXY - 1 of 3

 

 

Angelina Jolie Wants to Be a Better Wife to Brad Pitt 

 

 

Maybe ANGELINA JOLIE isn't as unconventional as we make her out to be.  Because now that she's married to BRAD PITT, she's turned from home-wrecker to HOMEMAKER.

 

 

She says, quote, "I think we have more moments where I'm like, 'I'm gonna be a better wife.  I'm gonna be a better cook.'  And [Brad's] like, 'Oh, honey, know what your'e good at.  Know what you're not.'

 

 

"'No, no, I'm gonna get this wife thing down!'  But he knows my limitations and where I'm a good wife and good mom."  (This is from a Tom Brokaw interview on yesterday's "Today" show.  Here's video.)

 

 

 

 

 

Angelina Jolie is Smoking . . . Despite Her Cancer Scare 

 

 

A few days ago, pictures emerged of ANGELINE JOLIE and BRAD PITT looking like they were fighting on a hotel balcony in Australia.  Well, "In Touch Weekly" has those pictures on its cover, along with one where Angelina is SMOKING.

 

 

It's not clear if they were fighting BECAUSE she was smoking, or if she was smoking to de-stress from the fight.  But last year, Angelina had a double-mastectomy after learning she had the so-called "breast cancer gene" . . . so she should know better.  (Check out the "In Touch" cover here.)

 

 


SHOWBIZ SEXY - 2 of 3

 

 

Did Kourtney Kardashian Walk Out on Scott Disick? 

 

 

The not-always-reliable RadarOnline.com says that KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN walked out on SCOTT DISICK.  She took the kids to a friend's house for a few days last week because she couldn't deal with him.

 

 

They came back, but things aren't getting better.  A source says, quote, "Kourtney is trying to hold it together desperately because the baby is coming and also because of the holidays . . .

 

 

"Scott feels that he is superhuman and the richer he gets, the worse it gets.  Unfortunately this is not just a story line for the show . . . it's something she has been dealing with for years."  (Here's a clip of Kourtney and Scott fighting on the upcoming episode of "Kourtney and Khloe Take the Hamptons".)

 

 

 

 

 

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

 

 

1.  It's nice to see BILL CLINTON hasn't changed.  Not one single bit.

 

 

 

2.  Sexy Video:  Here's PRESIDENT GEORGE H.W. BUSH planting one on his wife BARBARA for the Kiss Cam at Sunday's Houston Texans game.

 

 

 

3.  Every time CHARLIE HUNNAM from "Sons of Anarchy" takes his shirt off, 1,000 women get pregnant.  It's science.

 

 


SHOWBIZ SEXY - 3 of 3

 

 

More Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

 

 

4.  And now, LADY GAGA is wearing INFLATABLE outfits.  (Scroll down for video of her blowing this ridiculous thing up.)

 

 

 

5.  TMZ got a hold of some NUDE photos of ROBIN THICKE's supposed 19-year-old girlfriend, APRIL LOVE GEARY.  Don't worry . . . they're censored.

 

 

 

6.  In the late '80s, PAUL RUDD was a member of the Sigma Nu fraternity at the University of Kansas.  Oh, and he had an AMAZING mane of hair(The frat reportedly has to keep all photos with Rudd in them behind locked doors, because people keep stealing them.)

 

 

 

7.  KHLOE KARDASHIAN's butt just continues to grow.

 

 

 

8.  (NC-17)  CHELSEA HANDLER is showing her boobs again, and I'm okay with that.

 

 

 

9.  Somebody has a huge leg tattoo of THE ROCK . . . and The Rock approves.

 

 

 

SHOWBIZ NONSENSE - 1 of 3

 

 

Celebrity Thanksgiving Photo of the Day:  Verne Troyer Struggles With a Butterball That's Almost As Big As He Is 

 

 

Preparing Thanksgiving dinner can be a chore.  But it's even harder when YOU'RE BARELY EVEN BIGGER THAN THE TURKEY.

 

 

Check out VERNE "MINI-ME" TROYER trying to lug a Butterball that he could almost fit in from his scooter into his house.

 

 

On one hand, I want to punch the A-hole photographer who stood there snapping away while a 2-foot-8-inch Verne struggled with this thing.  On the other hand, you have to admit the picture is kind of priceless.

 

 

 

 

 

Robin Williams and Jennifer Lawrence Are the Top 10 Celebrity Online Searches So Far 

 

 

Scandal will get you EVERYWHERE.  Ask.com released the list of its Top 10 Celebrity Searches so far this year, and ROBIN WILLIAMS is #1, followed by JENNIFER LAWRENCE, who had everyone seeking out her stolen nude photos.

 

 

The rest of the top 5, in this order, is Jay Z, Kim Kardashian, and Joan Rivers.

 

 

Numbers 6 through 10 are:  Ray Rice, Angelina Jolie, Renee Zellweger, Kate Middleton, and Derek Jeter.

 

 

 

SHOWBIZ NONSENSE - 2 of 3

 

 

Johnny Depp on His Career Slump:  He "Doesn't Give an [Eff]" Anymore 

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  Some people think JOHNNY DEPP has lost his COOL at the box office . . . but Johnny says he doesn't care anymore.  He explains, quote, "Not giving [an eff], that's the total liberation.  Being game to try anything . . . [You can] sit there and stare at the clock in fear of your ultimate demise . . . or you just live."

 

 

FULL STORY:  After doing awesome work in the '90s, some people question JOHNNY DEPP'S recent choices . . . doing stuff like "The Tourist", the fourth "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie, "The Rum Diary", "Dark Shadows", "The Lone Ranger", and "Transcendence".

 

 

When asked about his alleged "career slump" in a recent interview, Johnny didn't seem fazed . . . because he cares enough to NOT care anymore.  Or something like that.

 

 

He tells "Details" magazine, quote, "What is really satisfying is, like Marlon [Brando], getting to that place where he just didn't give [an eff].  First, I reached a point where I cared so much and was so diligent in terms of approaching the work.

 

 

"Then you get to where you care so [effing] much that it gets . . . beleaguering.  But then a great thing happens.  Suddenly you care enough to not give [an eff], because not giving [an eff], that's the total liberation.  Being game to try anything."

 

 

He adds, quote, "For everybody, the clock's ticking.  [You can] sit there and stare at the clock in fear of your ultimate demise . . . which is pointless . . . or you just live."

 

 


SHOWBIZ NONSENSE - 3 of 3

 

 

Was Chevy Chase Acting Like a Mess at a Humane Society Event? 

 

 

The "New York Post" claims CHEVY CHASE was a "train wreck" during an on-stage appearance at a Humane Society event last Friday night.  Supposedly, Chevy seemed "out of it," and "rambled on and repeated himself."

 

 

A "source" says, quote, "No one could tell if it was an act, but his daughter was teasing him, pointing to the script and telling him to read it . . . by the middle of his speech, she seemed serious about telling him to stop talking and read."

 

 

Chevy hasn't done much of late . . . although a couple years ago, he left "Community" after throwing a series of tantrums on the set.  (There aren't any videos of him being a mess at this event, but there is this silly photo.)

 

 

 

NEW MOVIES THIS WEEKEND - 1 of 2

 

 

New In Theaters:  "Horrible Bosses 2" and Two Benedict Cumberbatch Movies

 

 

 

 

After an investor screws the guys out of a huge order from their new startup company, Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis, and Charlie Day kidnap his son so they can ransom him back for the half million dollars it would take to get their company back.

 

 

Christoph Waltz plays the investor, and Chris Pine is their enthusiastic kidnapping victim.  Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Aniston and Kevin Spacey are also back from the first movie . . . and you may recognize Keegan-Michael Key as a daytime talkshow host.

 

 

(Uncensored Trailers:  Trailer 1 and Trailer 2.  Watch out for profanity in these.)

 

 

 

 

 

The four penguins from the "Madagascar" movies team up with a covert interspecies task force to stop a madman from destroying the world.  Benedict Cumberbatch is the wolf leading the task force and John Malkovich is the voice of the villain.

 

 

So far there have been three "Madagascar" movies, the penguins had their own TV series for a few years, and there's a fourth "Madagascar" movie on the way in 2018.

 

 

 

NEW MOVIES THIS WEEKEND - 2 of 2

 

 

3.  "The Imitation Game"  (PG-13)  Trailer  (Limited)

 

 

Benedict Cumberbatch plays secretly gay mathematician Alan Turing, the World War Two hero who led a team of code-breakers to crack an "unbreakable" Nazi code.  They were assigned to decipher messages that were encrypted by an Enigma cipher machine . . . which leads them to create one of the world's first computers.

 

 

Keira Knightley is the only woman on his decryption team, and she effectively becomes his 'beard'.  Matthew Goode from "The Good Wife" is also in it, and the guy you know as Tywin Lannister on "Game of Thrones" is their boss.

 

 

Alan Turing was a BRILLIANT scientist.  In addition to designing a computer to defeat Enigma, he also devised a way to measure artificial intelligence.  His Turing Test proposes that if a machine can imitate us well enough to fool us into thinking we're talking to a real person, then it would have achieved true consciousness.

 

 

Unfortunately for Alan, being gay in the '40s was still considered a CRIME, so his story had a tragic end.  He was convicted of INDECENCY for his divine manly urges in 1952.  And took his own life two years later . . . with a poisoned apple.

 

 

But hopefully the movie only celebrates him as the homosexual hero he truly was.

 

 

 

MOVIE QUICK HITS - 1 of 2

 

 

Joni Mitchell Blocked a Movie About Her Starring Taylor Swift, Because All They Had Right Was a "Girl with High Cheekbones" 

 

 

A few years ago, there was a movie about JONI MITCHELL in development, starring TAYLOR SWIFT.  It was called "Girls Like Us", and it was based on a book about Joni, CARLY SIMON, and CAROLE KING.

 

 

Taylorwas set to play Joni . . . and while Joni didn't comment directly on how she felt about that . . . she wasn't happy about the project as a whole, so she blocked it from being made.

 

 

Joni says, quote, "I squelched that.  I said to the producer, 'All you've got is a girl with high cheekbones.'  It's just a lot of gossip, you don't have the great scenes . . . There's a lot of nonsense about me in books . . . assumptions, assumptions."

 

 

(It seems like Joni's biggest concern was the CONTENT of the movie.  But since she didn't have anything to say about Taylor other than that she was a "girl with high cheekbones," we can assume she wasn't thrilled about that either.)

 

 

 

MOVIE QUICK HITS - 2 of 2

 

 

The Latest Trailers:  "Jurassic World", "Peter Pan", and Jennifer Aniston Looking Dumpy in "Cake" 

 

 

1.  The trailer for "Jurassic World" is here.  And for some reason, after everything that happened in the first three movies, THEY WENT AHEAD AND OPENED THE PARK ANYWAY.

 

 

The chaos this time is created by a brand new, genetically-modified dinosaur, which is NOT revealed in the trailer.  The movie stars CHRIS PRATT and BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD, and it opens next June.

 

 

 

2.  "Pan" invents a new origin story for Peter Pan, where Captain Hook is young, still has two hands, and is a GOOD GUY, played by GARRETT HEDLUND.  The villain is Blackbeard, and he's played by HUGH JACKMAN.

 

 

A kid you've never heard of named LEVI MILLER plays Peter.  The movie hits theaters in July.  (Here's the trailer.)

 

 

 

3.  JENNIFER ANISTON is getting serious Oscar buzz for getting all dumpy-looking in a movie called "Cake".  Her character develops a relationship with the husband of a woman in her chronic pain support group who committed suicide.

 

 

SAM WORTHINGTON plays the husband, and ANNA KENDRICK is his dead wife, who Aniston has visions of.  (Here's the trailer.)

 

 

 

TV QUICK HITS - 1 of 2

 

 

Relax . . . Budweiser Isn't Dumping the Clydesdales 

 

 

In a recent article on Budweiser's decline, the "Wall Street Journal" claimed Anheuser-Busch would be fazing out their classic Clydesdales ads for a "fresher" approach targeting young adults.  But don't worry, horse-loving, light beer drinkers, it's not happening.

 

 

In a statement, Budweiser said that the Clydesdales WILL continue to be featured, because they, quote, "play a strong role for the brand."

 

 

On social media, they said, quote, "Don't believe everything that trends.  The Budweiser Clydesdales aren't going anywhere."  (In fact, the Clydesdales are in Bud's new campaign in association with the ride-sharing company Lyft.)

 

 

 

 

 

Nicole Kidman and Reese Witherspoon Are Co-Starring in a Limited Series Called "Big Little Lies" 

 

 

NICOLE KIDMAN and REESE WITHERSPOON will co-star in a "limited series" called "Big Little Lies".

 

 

It's described as "a subversive comedy, which tells the tale of three mothers of kindergartners whose apparently perfect lives unravel to the point of murder."

 

 

There's no word on how many episodes there will be, but it'll be capped at one season, like HBO's "True Detective".  No network is attached yet, so obviously it's too early to say when it might premiere.

 

 

 

TV QUICK HITS - 2 of 2

 

 

The NFL Won the Week Again . . . Plus Your Ratings for the AMAs and Katherine Heigl's New Show

 

 

"Sunday Night Football's" Giants-Cowboys game was last week's most watched show.  22.4 million people got to see Giants rookie ODELL BECKHAM JR. make the greatest catch in NFL history.  The Cowboys won that game 31-28.

 

 

Meanwhile, the "American Music Awards" had 11.6 million viewers and the series premiere of KATHERINE HEIGL's new NBC show "State of Affairs" had 8.7 million.

 

 

Here are last week's Top 10 primetime shows:

 

 

1.  "Sunday Night Football's" Giants-Cowboys game, NBC, 22.4 million viewers.

 

2.  "NCIS", CBS, 18.1 million viewers.

 

3.  "60 Minutes", CBS, 17.2 million viewers.

 

4.  "NCIS: New Orleans", CBS, 16.9 million viewers.

 

5.  "The Big Bang Theory", CBS, 14.6 million viewers.

 

6.  "Dancing with the Stars", ABC, 14.3 million viewers.

 

7.  "The Walking Dead", AMC, 13.3 million viewers.

 

8.  "Monday Night Football's" Titans-Steelers game, ESPN, 12.8 million viewers.

 

9.  "Madame Secretary", CBS, 12.4 million viewers.

 

10.  "Blue Bloods", CBS, 11.62 million viewers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

TV REMINDERS - 1 of 2

 

 

Wednesday TV Reminders:

 

 

"The Making of Peter Pan Live" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC.  A behind-the-scenes look at the upcoming live special, which stars Allison Williams as Peter and Christopher Walken as Captain Hook.  That airs December 4th.

 

 

"Charlie Brown Thanksgiving" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC.

 

 

"Saturday Night Live Thanksgiving" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC.

 

 

"Duck Dynasty" . . . from 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on A&E.  Thanksgiving tips from the Robertsons!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TV REMINDERS - 2 of 2

 

 

Weekend TV Reminders:

 

 

• Thursday:  "Thanksgiving Football:  Bears vs Lions" . . . 12:30 P.M. Eastern on CBS.  The Detroit Lions host the Chicago Bears.

 

 

• Thursday:  "Thanksgiving Football: Eagles vs. Cowboys" . . . 4:30 P.M. Eastern on Fox.  The Dallas Cowboys host the Philadelphia Eagles.

 

 

• Thursday:  "Thanksgiving Football: Seahawks vs 49ers" . . . 8:30 P.M. Eastern on NBC.  The San Francisco 49ers host the Seattle Seahawks.

 

 

• Friday:  "CMT Crossroads" . . . from 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CMT.  Bob Seger and Jason Aldean perform together.

 

 

• Saturday:  "Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever" . . . from 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Lifetime.  Aubrey Plaza IS the voice of grumpy cat.

 

 

"Sunday Night Football" . . . from 5:30 to 8:30 P.M. Eastern on NBC.  The Kansas City Chiefs host the Denver Broncos.

 

 

• Sunday:  "Soul Train Awards 2014" . . . from 8:00 to 9:30 P.M. on BET.  Wendy Williams hosts.  The performers include Chris Brown, Tinashe, Justine Skye, Nico & Vinz, Lil Kim, Ledisi, Kem, Missy Elliott, Aloe Blacc, Mase, and Lisa Stansfield.

 

 

• Sunday:  "The Mentalist" seventh season premiere . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS.

 

 

• Sunday:  "The Walking Dead" . . . from 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on AMC.  Daryl tries to rescue Beth and Carol with devastating results.  This is also the midseason finale.  The second half of the fifth season doesn't resume again until February 8th.

 

 

(You can preview Monday's schedule here.)

 

 


TODAY ON TV TALK SHOWS

 

 

Tonight's Late Night Talk Shows:

 

 

"The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon" - Christopher Walken, Nick Jonas, and Iggy Azalea.

 

 

"Late Night with Seth Meyers" - Allison Williams, Dan Patrick, and magician Josh Beckerman.

 

 

"Letterman" - Jake Gyllenhaal, Dr. John P. Holdren, and Nico & Vinz.

 

 

"Jimmy Kimmel" - Mindy Kaling, Ronda Rousey, and Rick Ross.

 

 

"Carson Daly" - Franz Ferdinand, and "St. Vincent" director Ted Melfi. (Repeat)

 

 

"Conan" - Bill Hader, Chelsea Peretti from "Brooklyn Nine-Nine", and Norah Jones.  (Repeat)

 

 

"Craig Ferguson" - Wayne Brady, and Alison Becker. (Shauna on "Parks & Recreation").

 

 

"Jon Stewart" - Steve Carell.  (Repeat)

 

 

"The Colbert Report" - Jon Stewart.  (Repeat)

 

 

(You can preview Monday's late night schedule here.)

 

 

 

MUSIC QUICK HITS - 1 of 3

 

 

Jordin Sparks Rips Her Ex Jason Derulo in a New Track 

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  JORDIN SPARKS has a new mixtape called "#ByeFelicia", and it features a remix of DRAKE'S song "How Bout Now" that totally RIPS her ex, JASON DERULO.  It has the lyric:  "You didn't really [eff] with me way back then, but how 'bout now?  'Cause I'm up right now and you suck right now."

 

 

FULL STORY:  When JORDIN SPARKS and JASON DERULO broke up in September, they initially said that it was mutual . . . that they still cared for each other . . . and would remain friends.  But that doesn't seem to be the case now.

 

 

Jordin just released a new mixtape called "#ByeFelicia", and it includes a few tracks that address her ex.  The most direct reference is in a remix of DRAKE'S song "How Bout Now" . . . and it's pretty brutal.

 

 

It includes the lyrics:  "Remember when you broke your neck and I had to wash your back for ya?  You probably don't remember half the [crap] I did for ya . . .

 

 

"You didn't really [eff] with me way back then, but how 'bout now?  'Cause I'm up right now and you suck right now . . . Once you blew up, head got big and you started changing.  Can't believe all the things that you started saying.  Like 'I'm with you for your fame and your name.'  What?"

 

 

(Profanity Warning:  You can sample it, here . . . but be careful, there's UNCENSORED PROFANITY.  The song begins 36 seconds in.)

 

 

(Also, "Bye Felicia" is a quote from the movie "Friday", and has come to be defined as when a person says they're leaving and you couldn't care less.)

 

 

 

MUSIC QUICK HITS - 2 of 3

 

 

Ariana Grande Doesn't Get Why Bette Midler Said She Was Whoring It Up . . . But Says She'll Remain a Fan Anyway 

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  ARIANA GRANDE doesn't get why BETTE MIDLER said she's whoring it up.  She Tweeted, quote, "Bette was always a feminist who stood for women being able to do whatever they wanted . . . not sure where that Bette went."  She added that she's still a fan.  And Bette later Tweeted that Ariana has a "beautiful voice," but didn't take what she said back.

 

 

FULL STORY:  Earlier this week, BETTE MIDLER said ARIANA GRANDE'S over-sexualized act was "silly beyond belief."

 

 

She added, quote, "[She's] slithering around on a couch, looking so ridiculous . . . You don't have to make a whore out of yourself to get ahead."

 

 

Well, Ariana responded on Twitter . . . quote, "Bette was always a feminist who stood for women being able to do whatever the 'F' they wanted, without judgment.  Not sure where that Bette went, but I want that sexy mermaid back!!

 

 

"Always a fan no matter what."

 

 

Last night, Bette cooled things down a little, but didn't take anything back.  She Tweeted, quote, "About my screed on Ariana, all I can say is, 'Spoken like a reformed old whore!'  She does have a beautiful voice, on a couch or off.'"

 

 

 

MUSIC QUICK HITS - 3 of 3

 

 

Urban Quick Hits:  Pharrell, Macklemore, and K. Michelle 

 

 

1.  In an interview that went down two weeks ago, PHARRELL told "Ebony" magazine that Michael Brown, the teen who was killed by a cop inFerguson, looked, quote,  "very bully-ish."

 

 

He added, quote, "That in itself I had a problem with.  Not with the kid, but with whatever happened in his life for him to arrive at a place where that behavior is OK.  Why aren't we talking about that?"  (???)  Isn't EVERYONE talking about that?

 

 

Pharrell said the cop should be punished and serve time for using, quote, "excessive force on a child."  But he also said that after what happened in the convenience store, Michael was "asking for trouble" by ignoring the cop.

 

 

 

2.  MACKLEMORE marched in Seattle to protest the decision not to indict officer Darren Wilson, who shot and killed Michael Brown in Ferguson.  He also Tweeted, quote, "The system that instills and protects white supremacy wins again.  Humanity loses . . . no justice.  I pray for Mike Brown and his family.  So sad."

 

(Profanity Warning:  TMZ has video, but it sounds like there's uncensored profanity in the background.)

 

 

 

3.  Now, THIS is marketing.  K. MICHELLE is giving fans a signed, nude poster if they preorder her new album "Anybody Wanna Buy A Heart?" from her website.

 

 

It's a mostly black-and-white poster, and her naughty bits ARE covered by her arms and some strategically placed roses.  The album comes out December 9th.

 

 

WEDNESDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS - 1 of 2

 

 

Sexy Extras:

 

 

1.  MICHAEL LOHAN married his girlfriend KATE MAJOR.  They're expecting their second child together.  (Full Story)

 

 

2.  Are KIM KARDASHIAN and KANYE WEST headed for divorce?  Her rep says no.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

Nonsense Extras:

 

 

1.  TED NUGENT said exactly what you'd expect him to about the ruling in Ferguson, Missouri.  His hate-filled online rant targeted thugs and abortion, as well as President Obama and Al Sharpton and their, quote, "black klansmen."  (Full Story)

 

 

2.  OMAROSA thinks her former "Apprentice" boss DONALD TRUMP should probably stop blaming PRESIDENT OBAMA for Ferguson.  (Full Story)

 

 

3.  SHIA LABEOUF showed up clean-shaven for a progress hearing on his disorderly conduct arrest.  The judge was pleased with his progress.  (Full Story)

 

 

4.  ASHTON KUTCHER wrote an essay on invasive journalists and the privacy rights of celebrities.

 

 

5.  MELISSA MCCARTHY is launching her own clothing line.  (Full Story)

 

 

WEDNESDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS - 2 of 2

 

 

Movie Extras:

 

 

1.  ELLEN DEGENERES put herself in the "Fifty Shades of Grey" trailer.  (Full Story)

 

 

2.  The director of the last three "Hunger Games" movies says there are actually talks about doing MORE.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

TV Extras:

 

 

1.  ALFONSO RIBEIRO won "Dancing with the Stars"SADIE ROBERTSON finished second, and JANEL PARRISH came in third.  (Full Story)

 

 

2.  HBO will air the first fully-authorized KURT COBAIN documentary sometime next year.  It's called "Kurt Cobain:  Montage of Heck" . . . and it will include concert footage, previously unheard songs and never-before-seen home movies, recordings, artwork, photography, journals, demos, and songbooks.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

Music Extras:

 

 

1.  Remember ALISAN PORTER from the 1991 movie "Curly Sue"?  She's 33 years old now, and she's a musician.  She just released a new album.  (Full Story)

 

 

2.  ONE DIRECTION has surpassed a billion streams on Spotify.  But they're still only 14th on the list of the most-streamed artists.  EMINEM is first, followed by Davie Guetta, Rihanna and Coldplay.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

STUPID NEWS HIGHLIGHTS - 1 of 2

 

 

1.  Here are a few random facts for you.  When Mr. Potato Head first came out, it was just body parts on spikes, and you had to provide your own potato.  Some of the raptor sound effects in "Jurassic Park" were created from audio of tortoises having sex.  And "Jingle Bells" was originally written to be a Thanksgiving song.  (Full Story)

 

 

2.  A new study found the average person will eat around 2,000 calories at Thanksgiving dinner.  But if you have seconds of the unhealthy side dishes or dessert, you could DOUBLE that.  (Full Story)

 

 

3.  The "New York Times" figured out the weirdest Thanksgiving dishes that are actually STANDARD in each state, and found things like a salad made of Snickers bars and whipped cream . . . a cheesecake made with crescent rolls . . . and something called pineapple casserole.  (Full Story)

 

 

4.  A website just ranked the biggest U.S. airlines based on how late they've been on flights during the week of Thanksgiving over the past six years.  JetBlue is the worst, followed by Southwest, Alaska, and Delta.  And United was the best.  (Full Story)

 

 

5.  A new survey found our favorite things about holiday shopping are finding the perfect gift for someone . . . finding great deals . . . and Christmas music.  The things we HATE the most are not knowing what to buy . . . parking lots and traffic . . . and lines.  (Full Story)

 

 

6.  Barbie isn't the most popular toy for girls this Christmas for the first time . . . toys from "Frozen" are now number one.  The most popular toy for boys this year is LEGO.  (Full Story)

 

 


STUPID NEWS HIGHLIGHTS - 2 of 2

 

 

7.  A new survey just found the most common DEAL BREAKERS that stop potential relationships.  The top five are:  The other person wants an open relationship where you both can have sex with other people . . . they're way younger than you . . . they're old enough to be your parent . . . they don't get along with your family or friends . . . and they smoke.  (Full Story)

 

 

8.  An inventor in France has created a new pill that makes your flatulence smell like CHOCOLATE.  It's all-natural and herbal, and only costs $16 to get a package of 60 capsules delivered.  (Full Story)

 

 

9.  A guy went to a 7-Eleven in Virginia on Monday, pulled a gun, and demanded some cash.  But when the clerk opened the register and the guy saw how LITTLE cash was in there . . . he cursed at the clerk and stormed out empty handed.  The police are trying to find him.  (Full Story)

 

 

10.  A 54-year-old homeless guy in Norfolk, Virginia posted an ad online earlier this month, looking for someone to spend Thanksgiving with.  And DOZENS of families have invited him to dinner.  He's also been invited to spend Christmas and Easter with people, and someone even got in touch to offer him a JOB.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

STUPID NEWS - 1 of 10

 

 

Five Random Facts For Wednesday

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  Here are a few random facts for you.  When Mr. Potato Head first came out, it was just body parts on spikes, and you had to provide your own potato.  Some of the raptor sound effects in "Jurassic Park" were created from audio of tortoises having sex.  And "Jingle Bells" was originally written to be a Thanksgiving song.

 

 

FULL STORY:  Here are some random facts for you . . .

 

 

1.  When Mr. Potato Head first came out in 1952, it was just the body parts on sharp spikes . . . you had to provide your OWN potato.  It didn't include the plastic potato without the spikes until the 1970s.

 

 

2.  There are only five states inAmericawith no state sales tax: Oregon,Delaware,New Hampshire,Montana, andAlaska.

 

 

3.  Some of the raptor sound effects in "Jurassic Park" were created from audio samples of tortoises having sex.

 

 

4.  "Jingle Bells" was originally written to be a Thanksgiving song, not a Christmas song.

 

 

5.  Richard Gere's middle name is . . . Tiffany.  That's his mother's maiden name.

 

 

 

 


STUPID NEWS - 2 of 10

 

 

You'll Eat at Least 2,000 Calories at Thanksgiving Dinner . . . And Might Double That Without Realizing It

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  A new study found the average person will eat around 2,000 calories at Thanksgiving dinner.  But if you have seconds of the unhealthy side dishes or dessert, you could DOUBLE that.

 

 

FULL STORY:  Thanksgiving dinner isn't exactly a time when people count calories, and we're not saying you should.  But someone else did it for you . . . and you are going to eat a LOT of 'em.

 

 

A professor atCornellUniversitymonitored one family's early Thanksgiving dinner to figure out how many calories they were taking in.  And while it's just a sample size of one family, it SEEMS pretty universal.

 

 

1.  The average person ate around 2,000 calories worth of food just at dinner.  And that doesn't even include drinks or appetizers.

 

 

2.  Some people ate almost DOUBLE that.  The best way to eat close to 4,000 calories is to dive in for seconds on the least-healthy side dishes . . . like stuffing, macaroni and cheese, or sweet potato casserole . . . or dessert.

 

 

3.  People added at least a few hundred calories before dinner even started by eating appetizers, rolls, or picking little pieces off the turkey.

 

 

4.  At a 10-person Thanksgiving, it's realistic to assume you'll eat a combined 25,000 calories together.  (Today)

 

 


STUPID NEWS - 3 of 10

 

 

Five Weird Thanksgiving Dishes That Are Actually Popular

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  The "New York Times" figured out the weirdest Thanksgiving dishes that are actually STANDARD in each state, and found things like a salad made of Snickers bars and whipped cream . . . a cheesecake made with crescent rolls . . . and something called pineapple casserole.

 

 

FULL STORY:  The "New York Times" analyzed Google searches to find which Thanksgiving recipes are unusually popular in each state.  And while they're all strange, most of them sound off-the-charts indulgent.  We need to start sharing this stuff people!

 

 

Here are five of the weirdest dishes . . . and they're actually popular in MORE than one state . . .

 

 

1.  Snicker apple salad is popular inSouth Dakota,Iowa, andNebraska.  It's a dessert featuring chopped up Snickers candy bars and apples in whipped cream.

 

 

2.  Frog eye salad . . . inNevada,Idaho,Wyoming, andColorado.  It's a salad with pasta, fruit, eggs, whipped cream, and marshmallows.

 

 

3.  Stuffed artichokes . . . inNew YorkandNew Jersey.

 

 

Continued . . .

 

 

 

STUPID NEWS - 4 of 10

 

 

Five Weird Thanksgiving Dishes That Are Actually Popular  (continued)

 

 

4.  Pumpkin whoopee pie, inNew HampshireandMaine.  It's two pumpkin cookies with a cream cheese filling in between.

 

 

5.  Sopapilla cheesecake, inOklahomaandTexas.  Basically a cheesecake made with crescent rolls, loosely based on the Latino sopapilla pastry.

 

 

There are a few others that sound great just on their name ALONE:  Cookie salad in North Dakota . . . key lime cake in Georgia . . . maple walnut pie in Vermont . . . corn pudding in Maryland . . . and pineapple casserole in South Carolina.

 

 

And the worst unusually popular Thanksgiving dish?  It's a landslide win forOregon, where the number one choice is . . . vegan mushroom gravy.

 

 

Montana's unusually popular Thanksgiving food is a close second . . . it's fruit salad.  Come on,Montana.  Just fruit?  People just one state over are mixing Snickers bars with whipped cream and calling it a salad!

 

 

 

 

(You can see a map of the U.S. with the popular dishes, plus the top 10 unique Thanksgiving recipes for every state, here.)

 

 


STUPID NEWS - 5 of 10

 

 

The Major U.S. Airlines Ranked by Their Thanksgiving Delays

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  A website just ranked the biggestU.S. airlines based on how late they've been on flights during the week of Thanksgiving over the past six years.  JetBlue is the worst, followed by Southwest,Alaska, and Delta.  And United was the best.

 

 

FULL STORY:  A website just ranked the seven biggestU.S. airlines based on how LATE they've been on flights during the week of Thanksgiving over the past six years.

 

 

Here's the lateness percentage for each airline, from worst to best . . .

 

 

1.  JetBlue.  15% late during the week of Thanksgiving, with an average delay of 42 minutes.

 

2.  Southwest.  15% late, average delay of 40 minutes.

 

3. Alaska.  15% late, average delay of 39 minutes.

 

4.  Delta.  15% late, average delay of 36 minutes.

 

5.  American. 13% late, average delay of 47 minutes.

 

6. U.S.Airways.  12% late, average delay of 31 minutes.

 

7.  United.  11% late, average delay of 46 minutes.

 

 

 

 


STUPID NEWS - 6 of 10

 

 

The Top Five Things We Like Most About Holiday Shopping . . . And the Six Things We Hate Most

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  A new survey found our favorite things about holiday shopping are finding the perfect gift for someone . . . finding great deals . . . and Christmas music.  The things we HATE the most are not knowing what to buy . . . parking lots and traffic . . . and lines.

 

 

FULL STORY:  You'll probably do at least a LITTLE shopping over the next four days.  Unless you're somehow immune to the tsunami of commercialization coming at you from all angles.  Whether you have a good TIME shopping . . . that's a different story.

 

 

A new survey found the top five things we like most about shopping . . . and the six things we HATE about it.

 

 

The thing we like the most about holiday shopping is . . . finding the perfect gift for someone.

 

 

The rest of the top five are:  Finding great deals . . . Christmas music . . . the crowds and the energy . . . and getting to spend money.

 

 

The thing we HATE most about holiday shopping is . . . not knowing what to buy.

 

 

That's followed by parking lots . . . traffic . . . lines . . . staying within your budget . . . and how much time it takes.

 

 

The survey also found 87% of people say the best part of giving a gift is seeing the look on the person's face when they get it.  6% say their favorite part of gift giving is wrapping presents.  (PR Newswire)

 

 


STUPID NEWS - 7 of 10

 

 

For the First Time, Barbie Isn't the Most Popular Christmas Toy For Girls . . . Here Are the Top 10 Toys For Both Boys and Girls

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  Barbie isn't the most popular toy for girls this Christmas for the first time . . . toys from "Frozen" are now number one.  The most popular toy for boys this year is LEGO.

 

 

FULL STORY:  The National Retail Federation runs an annual survey on the most popular Christmas toys for boys and girls.  And every year, the top toy for girls is BARBIE.

 

 

It was going to take a hell of an upstart to unseat her as number one.  But this year . . . it finally happened.

 

 

Toys based on "Frozen" have finally beaten her.  Even though the movie came out over a year ago, girls are still INSANE for it.

 

 

The top 10 toys for girls for Christmas 2014 are:  "Frozen" toys . . . Barbie . . . other dolls . . . "Monster High" dolls . . . American Girl . . . Lego . . . tablets and iPads . . . "My Little Pony" . . . Disney's "Doc McStuffins" . . . and apparel.

 

 

The top 10 toys for boys are:  LEGO . . . cars and trucks . . . "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" . . . video games . . . Hot Wheels . . . Xbox One . . . PlayStation 4 . . . "Transformers" . . . remote control cars . . . and Marvel action figures.

 

 

42% of people will buy at least one toy this holiday season.  (CNBC / National Retail Federation)

 

 

(And if you're interested, someone finally came up with a Lego STRIP CLUB set.)

 

 


STUPID NEWS - 8 of 10

 

 

Twelve Major Relationship Deal Breakers, Ranked by How Common They Are

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  A new survey just found the most common DEAL BREAKERS that stop potential relationships.  The top five are:  The other person wants an open relationship where you both can have sex with other people . . . they're way younger than you . . . they're old enough to be your parent . . . they don't get along with your family or friends . . . and they smoke.

 

 

FULL STORY:  Everyone has different deal breakers that mean you can't be with someone . . . no matter how perfect they are in other ways.  Some people have one or two . . . some people are like "Seinfeld" characters with one or two THOUSAND.

 

 

Buzzfeed asked people to name their biggest dating deal breakers.  Here are the top 12, ranked by how common they are . . .

 

 

1.  The other person wants to be in an open relationship where you can both have sex with other people . . . 90% say it's a deal breaker.

 

 

2.  They're way younger than you, 83%.

 

 

3.  They're old enough to be your parent, 81%.

 

 

4.  They don't get along with your family or friends, 71%.

 

Continued . . .

 

STUPID NEWS - 9 of 10

 

 

Twelve Major Relationship Deal Breakers, Ranked by How Common They Are  (continued)

 

 

5.  They smoke, 67%.

 

 

6.  They're bisexual, 56%.

 

 

7.  They have different political views than you, 39%.

 

 

8.  They're long distance, 39%.

 

 

9.  They don't drink alcohol, 32%.

 

 

10.  They eat a diet that's wildly different than yours, 23%.

 

 

11.  They like a different kind of music than you, 16%.

 

 

12.  Their astrological sign is a bad match for yours, 5%.

 

 

 

 

 

STUPID NEWS - 10 of 10

 

 

A Guy Invented a Pill That Makes It Smell Like Chocolate When You Break Wind

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  An inventor inFrance has created a new pill that makes your flatulence smell like CHOCOLATE.  It's all-natural and herbal, and only costs $16 to get a package of 60 capsules delivered.

 

 

FULL STORY:  A 65-year-old inventor inFrance named Christian Poincheval says he's created a new pill that makes it smell like CHOCOLATE when you BREAK WIND.

 

 

He says, quote, "It's a nice present for the festive season.  There will be a real need for these pills over Christmas."

 

 

The pills are all-natural and use an herbal blend to neutralize the odor of your flatulence and turn it chocolate-y.  Christian also has pills that make your gas smell like rose and violet . . . and a powder to improve the smell of your DOG'S gas.

 

 

A package of 60 capsules to transform your gas into chocolate sells for $12.50 online, plus another $3 or so for shipping.  I'm not sure how he gets international shipping that cheap, but it might take a while for them to get to you.

 

 

You can buy them online at Pilulepet.com(The Local)

 

 

(I feel like I HAVE to buy these just to see if it's true . . . because if it is, these SHOULD revolutionize the world.  Or at least revolutionize your relationship, so things are more amicable on Mexican night.)

 

 


STUPID CRIMINALS

 

 

A Guy Tried to Rob a 7-Eleven . . . But Walks Out When He Sees How Little Money Is in the Register

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  A guy went to a 7-Eleven inVirginia on Monday, pulled a gun, and demanded some cash.  But when the clerk opened the register and the guy saw how LITTLE cash was in there . . . he cursed at the clerk and stormed out empty handed.  The police are trying to find him.

 

 

FULL STORY:  You know those signs that businesses put up to try to deter robbers that say things like, "Safe contains less than $50"?  Maybe those really ARE a good deterrent.

 

 

A guy walked into a 7-Eleven inNewport News,Virginiaaround 12:30 A.M. on Monday, pulled out a GUN, and demanded cash from the clerk.  The clerk opened up the register to give the guy the money.

 

 

But when the guy got a look at just how little cash was in the register, he CURSED . . . and stormed out empty handed.

 

 

There's no word on just how little money was in the register, but clearly it wasn't worth the trouble of actually following through on the robbery.

 

 

Police are trying to find him.

 

 

 

BIRTHDAYS - 1 of 2

 

 

Natasha Bedingfield is 33.  Minx who sings "Unwritten" and "These Words".

 

 

Mikey Teutul is 36"American Chopper" screw-up / comic relief.

 

 

Maia Campbell is 38.  Tiffany Warren on The Mighty UPN's "In the House", the brilliant sitcom starring LL Cool J AND ALFONSO RIBEIRO!  Hello?  Is this thing on?

 

 

Tammy Lynn Michaels is 40"Popular" minx who MARRIED Melissa Etheridge and gave birth to their twins in October of 2006 with the help of a sperm donor.  She's now Melissa Etheridge's very bitter, blogging ex-lesbian lover.

 

 

Peter Facinelli is 41.  Carlisle Cullen in the "Twilight" movies.  Now he's a doctor on Showtime's "Nurse Jackie".

 

 

Kristin Bauer van Straten is 48.  Pam De Beaufort on "True Blood".  You might also remember her from "Seinfeld" as the girl Jerry dated with the "man hands".

 

 

Garcelle Beauvais is 48.  Fine-looking Nubian Assistant D.A. on "NYPD Blue".

 

 

Scott Adsit is 49.  Beautifully balding Pete Hornberger on "30 Rock".  He's in theaters now as the voice of the chubby robot Baymax in "Big Hero 6".

 

 

John McVie is 69.  Fleetwood Mac bassist.  Biggest albums:  Their 1975 self-titled album, with "Over My Head", "Rhiannon" and "Say You Love Me" . . .

 

. . . 1977's "Rumours", with "Go Your Own Way", "Dreams", "Don't Stop", "You Make Loving Fun" and "Gold Dust Woman" . . . and 1979's "Tusk" . . . with the hit title track, "Sara", "Think About Me" and "Sisters of the Moon".

 

 

 

BIRTHDAYS - 2 of 2

 

 

Tina Turner is 75.  MY Private Dancer.  Great legs.  No longer aU.S. citizen.  She gave it up because she's been living inSwitzerland for ages, and has no plans to move back.

 

 

Rich Little is 76.  Impressionist Extraordinaire.  Who would ever guessed that he would outlive both Jonathan Winters and Robin Williams?

 

 

Robert Goulet  (1933 - 2007)

 

 

Bruce Paltrow  (1943 - 2002)  Father of Gwyneth Paltrow.  He produced and directed "St. Elsewhere", "The White Shadow" and Gwyneth's karaoke atrocity, "Duets".

 

 

WAYLAND FLOWERS!  (1939 - 1988)  Foul-mouthed ventriloquist of Wayland Flowers & Madame fame.  Wayland nailed many a gay stud in his day . . . and died of AIDS.

 

 

Lefty Gomez  (1908 - 1989)  New York Yankees Hall of Famer.  The original en fuego Latino beisbol superstar.  Nicknames:  El Goofy AND The Gay Caballero.

 

 

Charles M. Schulz  (1922 - 2000"Peanuts" genius, and year after year one of the top-earning dead celebrities.

 

 

 

 

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day

• 21 days to the third "Hobbit" movie

• 29 shopping days to Christmas

• 36 days to the New Year

• 80 days to Valentine's Day

• 786 days left of "Hope and Change"

 

 


NOVEMBER 26th - BACK IN THE DAY

 

 

189 years ago . . . In 1825, THE FIRST COLLEGE SOCIAL FRATERNITY, Kappa Alpha, was formed at Union College in Schenectady, New York.  The original members invited friends over for dinner parties of baked potatoes and apples, as well as "mirth and wit and merry song."  You know, just like frats do today.  (???)

 

 

92 years ago . . . In 1922, the entrance to KING TUT'S TOMB was deliciously penetrated by Lord Carnarvon ofEngland and American archeologist Howard Carter.  The hairless Egyptian boy-king became Pharaoh at age 9 and died when he was 19.

 

 

72 years ago . . . in 1942, President Franklin Roosevelt ordered nationwide GASOLINE RATIONING, beginning December 1st.

 

 

72 years ago . . . In 1942, "Casablanca", starring HUMPHREY BOGART and INGRID BERGMAN, had its world premiere at the Hollywood Theater in New York.

 

 

38 years ago . . . In 1976, TRAGEDY STRUCK . . . WHEN 10CC BROKE UP!!!

 

 

32 years ago . . . In 1982, MILES DAVIS married CICELY TYSON.  Alleged serial rapist BILL COSBY was the best man.  (They divorced in 1988.  Miles died in 1991.  Cicely recently showed up on a list of TAX CHEATS in the state of New York.)

 

 

28 years ago . . . In 1986, "Star Trek 4:  The Voyage Home" was released.  It's the one with the whales.

 

 

22 years ago . . . In 1992, the British government announced that QUEEN ELIZABETH II had volunteered to start paying taxes on her personal income.  She also took her children off the dole.

 

 

16 years ago . . . In 1998, HULK HOGAN announced that he was retiring from pro wrestling and would run for president in 2000.  Four years later, Hulk Hogan was back in wrestling.  He's currently back "home" in the WWE, and he's been teasing a possible return to the ring.

 

 

(

THURSDAY BIRTHDAYS - 1 of 3

 

 

Aubrey Peeples is 21.  Layla on "Nashville" . . . and Jem in the upcoming movie version of "Jem and the Holograms".

 

 

Allison Pill is 29.  Maggie Jordan, the eager young associate producer on HBO's "The Newsroom".

 

 

Hawaiian mattress actress Mika Tan is 37.  She's starred in 473 fine films, including "Memoirs of a Modern Day Geisha", "Naporneon Dynamite", "Kung Pow Kitty", and "MAMASANS KNOCK YOU OUT"!

 

 

JALEEL WHITE! is 38.  URKEL!  A couple years ago there was a rumor that he committed SUICIDE . . . and that his suicide note said only, quote, "Did I do that?"

 

 

Sharlto Copley is 41.  He was AMAZING in "District 9".  He was somewhat less amazing in "The A-Team", "Elysium", and "Maleficent"..

 

 

Twista is 41.  Biggest album:  2004's "Kamikaze" . . . featuring the ghetto jams "Overnight Celebrity", "Slow Jamz" and "So Sexy".

 

 

Erik Menendez is 43.  One half of the parent-killing Menendez Brothers, along with toupee-wearing Lyle.

 

 

Michael Vartan is 46.  Former "Alias" stud.  He briefly dated Jennifer Garner, then had to awkwardly do love scenes with her after she left him for Ben Affleck.

 

 

Robin Givens is 50.  Mike Tyson's downfall.

 

 

 

THURSDAY BIRTHDAYS - 2 of 3

 

 

FISHER STEVENS! is 51.  Superstar of "Short Circuit" 1 AND 2!  And . . . HE USED TO NAIL MICHELLE PFEIFFER!

 

 

Steve Oedekerk is 53"KUNG POW:  ENTER THE FIST"!

 

 

Caroline Kennedy is 57.  She WAS Neil Diamond's inspiration for the jam we ALL can agree on . . . "SWEET CAROLINE"!

 

 

William Fichtner is 58.  He was Alex Mahone on "Prison Break" and Phil Yagoda on "Entourage".  And SHREDDER in the new live-action "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles".

 

 

Bill Nye "The Science Guy" is 59.  BILLIONS AND BILLONS OF STARS!  Not so many dance moves.

 

 

Curtis Armstrong is 61.  Booger in "Revenge of the Nerds" . . . Miles in "Risky Business", Charles De Mar in "Better Off Dead" and, who can forget . . . Goov in "Clan of the Cave Bear"!  More recently, Snot on "American Dad".

 

 

Kathryn Bigelow is 63.  Oscar-winning "Hurt Locker" director.  She had the added satisfaction of beating her ex for the Best Directing Oscar.  James Cameron was up for it for "Avatar".  It was the first time spouses had competed in that category.

 

 

 

THURSDAY BIRTHDAYS - 3 of 3

 

 

James Avery  (1945 - 2013)  Chubby Uncle Phil on "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air".

 

 

Jimi Hendrix  (1942 - 1970)  He was only 27.  That's a scary age for famous musicians . . . because the odds are so good they WON'T LIVE THROUGH IT.

 

(Other rock stars who died at 27:  Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Rolling Stone Brian Jones, blues legend Robert Johnson, Ron "Pigpen" McKernan of the Grateful Dead, and Amy Winehouse.)

 

 

Eddie Rabbitt  (1941 - 1998)  Country superstar.  Biggest hits:  1978's "Every Which Way But Loose", 1980's "Drivin' My Life Away" AND "I Love a Rainy Night", and 1982's "You and I".  Eddie Rabbitt also wrote Elvis' "Kentucky Rain".

 

 

Bruce Lee  (1940 - 1973)  He was only 32.

 

 

Davey Boy Smith  (1962 - 2002)  THE BRITISH BULLDOG!  As a member of the Bulldogs, he won the WWF Tag Team Titles from the Dream Team of Greg "The Hammer" Valentine and Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake.

 

 

 

 


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Karen Gillan is 27Nebula in "Guardians of the Galaxy", and former "Doctor Who" companion Amy Pond.  Her ABC sitcom "Selfie" is already on the chopping block.

 

 

Mary Elizabeth Winstead is 30.  Sexy brunette from "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World", the prequel to "The Thing", and "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter".  She's also Bruce Willis' daughter in the fourth "Die Hard" film and was the villain in "Sky High".

 

 

Trey Songz is 30.  Biggest hits:  "Bottoms Up" and "Say Aah".

 

 

Alan Ritchson is 30.  District One tribute Gloss in "The Hunger Games:  Catching Fire" and Raphael in the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" reboot. You might remember his as Thad the meat-head linebacker on "Blue Mountain State".

 

 

Chamillionaire is 35.  Young urban troubadour.  Real name:  Hakeem Seriki.  "They see him rollin' . . . they hatin'.  Patrollin' and trying to catch him ridin' dirty."

 

 

Aimee Garcia is 36.  Jamie Batista, Dexter's scantily-clad nanny on "Dexter".

 

 

Ryan Kwanten is 38.  Sookie's mantastic brother, Jason, on "True Blood".

 

 

Apl.de.Ap is 40.  Half Filipino / Half Black troubadour in the Black Eyed Peas.

 

 

Styles P is 40.  Jadakiss' protégé from the rap group D-Block.  The P stands for "Paniro" because he raps, quote, "like Pacino and De Niro, so they call me Paniro."

 

 

JON STEWART! is 52"Daily Show" genius.

 

 

Pearl Jam drummer Matt Cameron is 52.

 

 

Alfonso Cuarón is 53.  Director of "Gravity" and the third Harry Potter movie, "The Prisoner of Azkaban".

 

 

 

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JUDD NELSON! is 55.  My favorite Brat Packer.  SCREW EMILIO!

 

(If you want to be a true Judd Nelson fan, check out his 1991 comedy "The Dark Backward" . . . in which he plays an awful wannabe standup comic whose career takes off when he grows a third arm out of his back.  Here's the trailer.)

 

 

Kristine Arnold is 58.  Country singer in Sweethearts of the Rodeo.

 

 

S. Epatha Merkerson is 62.  She played Nubian Lieutenant Anita Van Buren on the ORIGINAL version of "Law & Order".

 

 

Ed Harris is 64.  He was Pollock in "Pollock", and has also starred in flicks like "Radio", "Apollo 13", "The Right Stuff", "The Rock" and "The Abyss".  He also played John McCain in HBO's film about the 2008 election "Game Change".

 

(Did you know he was the voice of Mission Control in "Gravity"?)

 

 

PAUL SHAFFER! is 65.  "Late Show" bandleader (slash) Dave's nutty sidekick!

 

 

Randy Newman is 71.  Biggest hits:  "Short People" and "I Love L.A."  He also wrote Three Dog Night's super-smash #1 hit, "Mama Told Me Not to Come".

 

(Your kids are probably bigger Randy Newman fans than you are, thanks to his work on the soundtracks to Disney / Pixar movies, like "Toy Story".)

 

 

Gary Hart is 78.  Former Senate stud who liked to secretly nail Donna Rice.

 

 

Berry Gordy Jr. is 85.  Motown founder.

 

 

Anna Nicole Smith  (1967 - 2007)

 

 

 


SATURDAY BIRTHDAYS - 1 of 3

 

 

Laura Marano is 19.  Annoying young Disney singer from "Austin & Ally".

 

 

Mattress actress Lauren May is 27.  She's starred in 88 fine films, including "Sextoy Story", "Home Alone", and "I Kissed a Girl and I Licked It".

 

 

Lucas Black is 32.  LaSalle on "NCIS: New Orleans".  You may also know him as Sean Boswell in "The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift" . . . and the upcoming "Furious 7".

 

 

Janina Gavankar is 34.  Sexy Detective Meredith Bose on "The Mysteries of Laura".  You might also remember her as skinwalker Luna Garza on "True Blood" and Tessa, the witch who created the original vampires, on "The Vampire Diaries".

 

 

Game is 35.  WAY more gangsta since he dropped the "The" from his name!  He'll spend the day with his lonely, single brother, "No Game."

 

 

Lauren German is 36.  Leslie Shay, the lesbian paramedic on "Chicago Fire".  Sadly, she's the one they killed off in that building collapse when the new season premiered.

 

 

Anna Faris is 38.  Hot blonde in the first four "Scary Movie" flicks, but NOT the fifth installment.  Now she's on the CBS comedy "Mom" with Allison Janney.  AND she's married to one of this year's Sexiest Men Alive, Chris Pratt from "Guardians of the Galaxy".

 

 

Brian Baumgartner is 42.  Kevin, the accountant (slash) brilliant drummer of the Police cover band, Scrantonicity, on "The Office".

 

 

Gena Lee Nolin is 43"Baywatch" AND former Barker Beauty on "The Price Is Right".  Also the co-star of the most UN-EROTIC celebrity sex tape EVER.

 

 

Jonathan Knight is 46.  NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK!  He left NKOTB in 1994 because of a supposed emotional breakdown.  He was a real estate developer before the New Kids returned to POP DOMINANCE.  (True.)

 

 

 

SATURDAY BIRTHDAYS - 2 of 3

 

 

Don Cheadle is 50.  Marty Kaan on Showtime's "House of Lies", and "Rhodey" Rhodes in "Iron Man 2", "Iron Man 3", and the upcoming "Avengers" sequel.

 

You also know him as the dazzling young urbanite and incredible actor from "Hotel Rwanda", "Crash", "Boogie Nights", and all three "Ocean's Eleven" movies.

 

 

ANDREW MCCARTHY! is 52"St. Elmo's Fire", "Pretty in Pink", "Less Than Zero", "Weekend at Bernie's" AND "Mannequin"!

 

 

Tom Sizemore is 53.  Disgraced Whizzinator afficianado.

 

 

Cathy Moriarty is 54.  Probably best known as the very sexy Vickie La Motta in "Raging Bull", Robert Downey Jr.'s tasty tranny "girlfriend", Montana Moorehead, in "Soapdish" AND for her riveting performances on "Hollywood Squares"!

 

 

Rahm Emanuel is 55.  President Obama's chief of staff from 2009 to 2010, now the mayor ofChicago.

 

 

Howie Mandel is 59.  He's BACK ON TOP thanks to "America's Got Talent".  I knew he could make it without the afro and that stupid rubber glove.  He'll celebrate his birthday the same way he does every year . . . by carefully not touching anyone the entire day.

 

 

Joel Coen is 60.  With his brother Ethan, he wrote and directed "Raising Arizona", "Fargo", "O Brother Where Art Thou", "The Man Who Wasn't There" AND "The Big Lebowski"!

 

 

Garry Shandling is 65.  Neurotic genius of "The Larry Sanders Show".

 

 

Jerry "The King" Lawler is 65.  Brilliant WWE announcer.  He's also the rassler who had that feud with wacky Andy Kaufman.  In September of 2012 he had a near-fatal ON-AIR heart attack during "Monday Night Raw".  But he's back at the announce table.

 

 


SATURDAY BIRTHDAYS - 3 of 3

 

 

SUZY CHAFFEE! is 68.  She is single-handedly responsible for making "ChapStick"America's Favorite Lip Balm!

 

 

CHUCK MANGIONE! is 74.  Composer-musician and master of the soft-toned FLUGELHORN on the fabulous instrumental classic "Feels So Good"!  You'd know it if you heard it.  It's delightfully soft-toned!

 

A FLUGELHORN is like a trumpet, but with a softer, richer sound.  Every show should have its very own "Official Flugelhornist", yes?  Call in now to audition . . . we'll make YOU a star, the likes of the Greatest Flugelhornist Ever . . . MR. CHUCK MANGIONE!

 

 

VIN SCULLY is 87.  Hall-of-Fame sportscaster for the Los Angeles Dodgers.  He's done play-by-play for the Dodgers for 60 YEARS!

 

 

Denny Doherty  (1940 - 2007)  Incredible lead singer of The Mamas & The Papas.  Their hits include "California Dreamin'", "Monday, Monday", "I Saw Her Again", "Words Of Love", "Dedicated to the One I Love" and "Creeque Alley".

 

(We don't know if Denny ever had sex with Mackenzie Phillips . . . but everybody else did, so the odds are probably decent.)

 

 

C. S. Lewis  (1898 - 1963)  Wrote the "Chronicles of Narnia" books, including "The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe".

 

 

Louisa May Alcott  (1832 - 1888)  Chick novelist:  "Little Women".

 

 

 

 


SUNDAY BIRTHDAYS - 1 of 2

 

 

CLAY AIKEN! is 36 and a deliciously gay dad . . . but not a member of Congress.

 

 

Kaley Cuoco is 29"Big Bang Theory" minx who got her start on "8 Simple Rules".

 

 

Elisha Cuthbert is 32.  Kiefer's hot daughter on "24" . . . the hot high school girl in "Old School" . . . and the hot, deep, pornographic prostitute in "The Girl Next Door".

 

 

Amy Ryan is 45.  Holly Flax on "The Office".

 

 

Ben Stiller is 49.

 

 

Ryan Murphy is 49.  Deliciously gay.  And the creator of "Nip / Tuck", "Glee", and "American Horror Story".

 

 

Bo Jackson is 52.  Badass multi-sport athlete, Heisman Trophy winner, and the first man selected for both the Major League Baseball All-Star game and the NFL Pro Bowl.

 

 

Stephen Dillane is 58.  Tight-lipped Stannis Baratheon on "Game of Thrones".

 

 

Billy Idol is 59.  Punk-pop god!  His biggest hits include "White Wedding", "Hot in the City", "Rebel Yell", "Eyes Without A Face" and "Flesh for Fantasy";  but he's probably MOST famous for his GROUPIE DEBAUCHERY!

 

(You might be able to get Billy to perform at your birthday like he did for that guy in Seattle . . . if you're willing to devote two years of your life to it.)

 

 

Mandy Patinkin is 62.  Inigo Montoya in "The Princess Bride"!  "Hello.  My name is Inigo Montoya.  You killed my father.  Prepare to die."  Classic!  He left "Criminal Minds" in 2007 because of so-called "creative differences."  Now he's on "Homeland".

 

 

 

SUNDAY BIRTHDAYS - 2 of 2

 

 

Ridley Scott is 77.  Director of "Alien", "Gladiator", "Blade Runner", "Black Rain", "Thelma & Louise", "Hannibal", "Black Hawk Down", "Robin Hood" and most recently "Prometheus".

 

 

G. Gordon Liddy is 84.  G-man convicted for his Watergate involvement.

 

 

ROBERT GUILLAUME! is 87"Benson"!

 

 

Dick Clark would have been 85.  (1929 - 2012)

 

 

June Pointer of the Pointer Sisters.  (1953 - 2006)  Their biggest album is 1983's "Break Out" . . . featuring their CLASSICS "Jump (For My Love)", "Automatic", "I Need You", "Neutron Dance" and "I'm So Excited".

 

 

Mindy McCready  (1975 - 2013)

 

 

Allan Sherman  (1924 - 1973"Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh"!

 

 

Winston Churchill  (1874 - 1965)  British Prime Minister during World War Two.  After the Royal Air Force scored a major victory, Churchill said . . . "Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few."

 

 

MARK TWAIN  (1835 - 1910)  Brilliant author of "Tom Sawyer" and "Huck Finn".

 

(The first part of his three-volume autobiography came out in 2010.  Why did it take so long?  Because he didn't want it released until 100 years after his death.  Twain died on April 21st, 1910.  Volume 2 just came out last year.)

 

 

 

 

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