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Whatever 11.18

Your daily dose of WHATEVER!!

Rihanna’s Twerking Puts Miley’s To Shame 

 

 

MILEY CYRUS may be the name most associated with twerking, but RIHANNA’S got stripper moves that put hers to shame.

 

 

And she showed them off during the final show of her tour in New Orleans on Friday.  But not onstage.

 

 

Rihanna was backstage listening to T-PAIN sing “Up Down (Do This All Day)”, and her butt just started doing things.  Magical things.  Luckily, someone had a camera, and some videos ended up on Instagram.  (Check ‘em out here. 

And Now . . . Britney Spears’ Exact Measurements 

 

 

Someone on the web claims to have gotten a hold of an actual casting notice seeking a body double for BRITNEY SPEARS.  And it includes Britney’s EXACT MEASUREMENTS.  Here they are:

 

 

Britney is 5-foot-4, 130 pounds.  Her dress size is 4, her shoe size is 7.  And she’s 32C-27-35.

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

 

 

1.  ROBERT PATTINSON is growing a goatee.  (Here’s a pic.)

 

 

 

2.  MELISSA RAUCH from “The Big Bang Theory” got all tarted up for “Maxim”.  (Here are the pics.  Melissa plays Bernadette on the show.)

 

 

 

3.  When JESSICA ALBA bends down and offers me a view down her shirt, I take it.  That’s my policy.  (Make it yours too, here.)

 

 

 

4.  If all the women who do granny porn looked like 73-year-old RAQUEL WELCH, granny porn would be a lot more popular.  (Check out some pics here.)

 

 

 

5.  ELLEN DEGENERES and PORTIA DE ROSSI were looking pretty happy during a shopping trip in L.A.  (Here are some pics.)

 

 

 

6.  KIM KARDASHIAN stuffed her gigantic backside into another impossibly-stretchy skirt.  (Here are the pics.)

 

 

 

7.  42-year-old DEBBIE GIBSON looked pretty sexy singing at the Knicks game the other night.  (Here’s a pic.)

Miley Cyrus Smoked Pot at the “MTV Europe Music Awards” Because She Thought It Would Be Funny 

 

 

MILEY CYRUS confirms that she lit up a real joint onstage at the “MTV Europe Music Awards”, but she claims it wasn’t part of some grand marketing plan.

 

 

She says, quote, “I was just walking out of my room and then I was like ‘Oh I have this in my bag, that will be really funny.’  And I didn’t say anything to anybody. 

 

 

“I just did it mostly because I knew the fans in Amsterdam would love it and they started going crazy when I did it.”  (Meanwhile, here’s a METAL version of “Wrecking Ball”.)

Zac Efron is Drinking Soup Through a Straw 

ZAC EFRON is recovering from the broken jaw he suffered during a fall in his house.  ADAM SHANKMAN, who directed Zac in “Hairspray”, says, quote, “I have been making him soup. He has been drinking it through his straw.

 

 

“He has to eat through a straw on a syringe. It’s horrible.”

 

 

He added, quote, “He’s in great spirits.  He’s just like, ‘Oww.  It hurts.’”

Justin Bieber’s Neighbor Called Police on Him Three Times in One Night 

Police showed up at JUSTIN BIEBER’S house three times Saturday morning after a neighbor complained that he and his friends were partying too loudly.  Nobody was arrested, even though cops said they smelled marijuana.  But the neighbor filed a report against Justin for disturbing the peace.

Thor is #1 at the Box Office for a Second Week in a Row

 

 

“Thor: The Dark World” took the #1 spot at the box office again this weekend.  It earned another $38.5 million to bring its second-week total up to $147 million.

 

 

“The Best Man Holiday” made a solid showing in second place, with just over $30 million.  That’s far higher than the $20 million or so analysts expected it to make, and almost double its $17 million budget.  Here are this week’s Top 10 movies:

 

 

1.  “Thor: The Dark World”, $38.5 million.  Up to $147 million in its 2nd week.

 

2.  (NEW)  “The Best Man Holiday”, $30.6 million.  

 

3.  “Last Vegas”, $8.9 million.  Up to $47 million in its 3rd week.

 

4.  “Free Birds”, $8.3 million.  Up to $42.2 million in its 3rd week. 

 

5.  “Bad Grandpa”, $7.7 million.  Up to $90.2 million in its 4th week.

 

6.  “Gravity”, $6.3 million.  Up to $241 million in its 7th week.

 

7.  “Ender’s Game”, $6.2 million.  Up to $53.8 million in its 3rd week.

 

8.  “12 Years a Slave”, $4.7 million.  Up to $24.9 million in its 5th week.

 

9.  “Captain Phillips”, $4.5 million.  Up to $97.6 million in its 6th week. 

 

10.  “About Time”, $3.5 million.  Up to $11.6 million in its 3rd week.

Monday TV Reminders:

 

 

“Monday Night Football” . . . 8:30 to 11:30 P.M. Eastern on ESPN.  The Carolina Panthers host the New England Patriots.

 

 

“How I Met Your Mother” . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on CBS.  John Lithgow guest stars as Barney’s father.

 

 

“Dancing with the Stars”. . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.  Maksim Chmerkovskiy is a guest judge as the couples perform to two different versions of the same song.  Music Guests:  Kerli and Noah Guthrie.

 

 

“The Voice” [Performance] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC.  The top 10 perform.  NBC starts the night off with an hour recap at 8:00 P.M., if that’s your thing.

 

 

“Whoopi Goldberg Presents Moms Mabley”  . . . 9:00 to 10:15 P.M. on HBO.  African-American comedienne Jackie “Moms” Mabley is profiled.  It includes interviews with Bill Cosby and Eddie Murphy.

 

 

“Watch What Happens:  Live” . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Bravo.  Stassi Schroeder and Jax Taylor (“Vanderpump Rules”) are guests.

Monday’s Daytime Talk Show Guests:

 

“The Today Show”Kenny Loggins.

 

“Good Morning America”Vince Vaughn (“Delivery Man”), Demi Lovato, and “Dancing with the Stars” pro Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

 

“CBS This Morning” – Director Steve McQueen (“12 Years a Slave”).

 

“Ellen DeGeneres”James Franco (“Homefront”) and Anna Faris (“Mom”).  Former NFL wide receiver Donald Driver is the guest DJ.

 

“Live! With Kelly and Michael”Vince Vaughn (“Delivery Man”) and David Blaine . . . plus Michael’s fiancée Nicole Murphy prepares cornbread stuffing.

 

“The View”Jimmy Kimmel and Walt Disney Co. CEO Bob Iger.  Demi Lovato co-hosts and promotes her book “Staying Strong: 365 Days a Year”.

 

“The Talk”Carol Burnett and Daughtry.  Carnie Wilson co-hosts.

 

“Katie Couric” – Former NASA astronaut Mark Kelly and his wife Gabby Giffords discuss gun violence, plus Randi Zuckerberg discusses tech etiquette.  Music Guest:  Julian Lennon.

 

“Queen Latifah Show”Lenny Kravitz (“The Hunger Games: Catching Fire”) and Melissa Rauch (“The Big Bang Theory”).  Music Guest:  Christina Perri.

 

“Wendy Williams” – Personal trainer Michelle Bridges.

 

“Rachael Ray”Geoffrey Rush (“The Book Thief”) and Whoopi Goldberg.

Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:

 

 

“Letterman”Vince Vaughn (“Delivery Man”) and six-time NASCAR champion Jimmie Johnson.  Music Guest:  Luscious Jackson.

 

 

“Jimmy Kimmel”Barbara Walters (“The View”) and Josh Gad (“Frozen”).  Music Guest:  Fall Out Boy.

 

 

“The Tonight Show”Whoopi Goldberg, Anthony Jeselnik (“The Jeselnik Offensive”), and a performance by Cirque du Soleil Totem.

 

 

“Jimmy Fallon”Bill Cosby (“Far From Finished”).  Music Guests:  Girl Talk and Freeway.

 

 

“Carson Daly”Adam Richmond and The Wes Anderson Collection is profiled.  Music Guest:  St. Lucia.

 

 

“Arsenio”Zooey Deschanel (“New Girl”), Mayim Bialik (“The Big Bang Theory”), and “The View’s” Sherri Shepherd.

 

 

“Conan”Eric Stonestreet (“Modern Family”), David Morrissey (“The Walking Dead”), and comedian Reggie Watts.

 

 

“Craig Ferguson”Kunal Nayyar (“The Big Bang Theory”).

 

 

“Chelsea Lately”Jeffrey Wright (“The Hunger Games: Catching Fire”).

 

 

“Jon Stewart”Elizabeth Olsen (“Oldboy”).

 

 

“The Colbert Report”Director Steve McQueen (“12 Years a Slave”).

92% of Us Will Serve Turkey on Thanksgiving . . . 10% Will Serve Pasta or Tamales

92% will serve turkey.

76% will serve pumpkin pie.  And about two-thirds of those will be store bought.

75% will have either rolls or other bread.

70% will serve green beans . . . but mostly in a casserole.

63% will serve corn.

56% will serve apple pie.

43% will serve pecan pie.

And 10% will serve something unique to their culture, like pasta, tamales, or pierogies. 

(PR Newswire)

Falling In Love Immediately Makes You Dumber

According to a new study, people immediately get DUMBER when they fall in love.  Researchers found that people who were falling in PASSIONATE LOVE did WORSE on tests than people who were just dating casually.  They say it’s because your brain has a limited amount of resources, so when love is dominating your thoughts you don’t have enough brainpower for everything else.

(Huffington Post)

Broken Hearts Are For Real . . . Your Chances of Dying Skyrocket Right After Your Spouse Dies

A new study has figured out that a BROKEN HEART can take a REALLY BAD toll on your health . . . more than you’d think.  Researchers found that after your husband or wife dies, your chance of dying in the next three months SKYROCKETS by 66%.  It can be caused by grief . . . or because you let your own health go taking care of your sick husband or wife.

(Parent Herald)

A Guy Buys the House Next Door to His Ex Wife . . . and Puts Up a Giant Statue of a Middle Finger Pointing at Her

A rich strip club owner in Michigan recently divorced his wife of two years, when he found out she was CHEATING on him.  So when she moved in with the other guy, he bought the house next door . . . and put up a huge statue of a MIDDLE FINGER pointed at it.

(Gawker / Deadline Detroit) 

The Key to Making People Think You’re Rich Is . . . Wearing Sweatpants in Public?

According to a new survey of shop assistants at super high-end luxury boutiques, a great sign that someone’s RICH is . . . SWEATPANTS.  The consensus is that, quote, “Wealthy people sometimes dress very badly to demonstrate superiority.”  So if you’re wearing nice sweatpants, it can be a sign you’re loaded . . . NOT that you’re lazy and you’ve given up.

(Harvard Business School)

Eight Things Guys Think They’re Doing Sneakily . . . But Women Always Notice

Here are some things guys THINK they’re doing sneakily but women ALWAYS notice:  Turning your head BEFORE a woman walks past, so you’re already looking that direction and can check out her butt once she passes . . . leading the conversation to see if she’s single . . . and trying to lead a text conversation toward having her send you nude photos.

Reddit)

A $338 Million Powerball Winner Who Promised to Pay His Neighbors’ Rent Didn’t . . . and Even Skipped Out on His Own Rent

Back in March, a 44-year-old man in New Jersey won a $338 million Powerball jackpot.  It quickly came out he was a DEADBEAT DAD, but he paid his back child support . . . AND told everyone on his block he’d pay their rent for a month or two.  Well . . . he didn’t.  And his landlord says he didn’t even pay his OWN final month’s rent . . . and still owes $725.

.”  (NJ.com)

Kirk Hammett – 51  (Metallica guitarist.  Sometimes he likes to kick little kids in the head with balloons during his concerts.  This is what it looks like . . .)

Fabolous – 36  (Young urban troubadour whose biggest hits include:  “Make Me Better”, “Throw It In the Bag”, and “Can’t Let You Go”.)

 

Nathan Kress – 21  (“iCarly” punk who played Freddie on the show.)

 

 

David Ortiz – 38  (Big Papi.  Boston Red Sox World Series hero and superstar.  I like him ’cause after any of his teammates hits a home run, he gives the dude a full-frontal man hug.  Boston is his (effing) city.)

 

 

Chloë Sevigny – 39  (Oddly-sexy indie actress who performed actual fellahchio on camera, for the non-pornographic, artsy movie “Brown Bunny”.  She recently played Bill Paxton’s second wife, Nikki, on “Big Love”.)

 

 

Duncan Sheik – 44  (Singer of the smash hit “Barely Breathing”.)

 

 

Owen Wilson – 45  (Successful in movies and impregnating women;  failure at suicide.)

 

Gary Sheffield – 45  (Retired Major League Baseball outfielder, and nephew of Dwight Gooden.  It’s Gary’s wife who’s allegedly getting-it-on with R. Kelly in one of his sex tapes!)

 

 

Kim Wilde – 53  (Annoying hit:  “Kids in America”.)

 

 

Kevin Nealon – 60  (Former “SNL” and “Weeds” clown-ass.  He told Happy Gilmore to SEND THE BALL HOME.)

 

 

Dennis Haskins – 63  (Mr. Frickin’ Belding on “Saved By The Bell”.)  (He’s a KARAOKE SUPERSTAR!  Check out his mic supremacy.)

 

JAMESON PARKER! – 66  (Superstar who WAS A.J. SIMON on “Simon & Simon”!)

 

 

LINDA EVANS – 71  (Middle-aged minx.  Yanni, the long-maned, mustachioed, Greek Love God used to nail her anytime he wanted to!)

 

 

Mickey Mouse – 85  (The new overlord of the “Star Wars” franchise.)

 

 

Alan B. Shepard Jr. – (1923 – 1998)  (America’s first man in space.)

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• 4 days to “Catching Fire”

• 10 days until Thanksgiving

• 25 days to “The Hobbit: Part 2″

• 37 days until Christmas

• 88 days to Valentine’s Day

• 1,159 days left of “Hope and Change”

706 years ago . . . in 1307 – WILLIAM TELL, an incredible crossbow marksman, shot an apple off his son’s head.  Imprisoned for rebelling against Imperial rule, Tell escaped and killed the local governor, setting off the famous struggle for Swiss independence.

 

 

387 years ago . . . in 1626 – ST. PETER’S BASILICA, the main church in the Vatican, was dedicated by the dazzling POPE URBAN THE EIGHTH.

 

 

111 years ago . . . in 1902 – Brooklyn toy maker Morris Michton created the first TEDDY BEAR.  (The toy got its name from an incident involving Teddy Roosevelt.  He was on a hunting trip when he had the opportunity to shoot a large female bear . . . but decided not to kill the beast when he spotted her cubs nearby.)

 

 

85 years ago . . . in 1928 – Animator UB IWERKS drew MICKEY MOUSE for the first time.  He called the character “Mortimer.”  Walt Disney’s wumpty, Mrs. Disney, thought the name was too stuffy . . . she told Walt to change it to Mickey Mouse.

 

 

47 years ago . . . in 1966 – U.S. ROMAN CATHOLIC BISHOPS did away with the rule against eating meat on Fridays.  Now they only avoid Friday meat during Lent.

 

 

35 years ago . . . in 1978 – Satan’s nephew, the Reverend JIM JONES, persuaded 900 of his followers to commit suicide in “Jonestown”, in the jungles of Guyana.  The members of the People’s Temple cult suicided by drinking Kool-Aid laced with cyanide.  DON’T DRINK THE KOOL-AID, MAN!

 

 

25 years ago . . . in 1988 – RONALD REAGAN created the Cabinet position of DRUG CZAR, and signed a law allowing the death penalty for drug traffickers who kill . . . while at the same time, Ronnie’s CIA was selling crack to black folk in the ghetto.  (ATTICA!)

 

 

13 years ago . . . in 2000 – CANCEROUS ADMITTED SEX ADDICT MICHAEL DOUGLAS married CATHERINE ZETA- JONES.  He’s older than her DAD.  (They’re currently separated, but not necessarily divorcing.)

 

 

8 years ago . . . in 2005 – ROBERT BLAKE was ordered by a civil court to pay Bonny Bakley’s children $30 million, even though Johnny Law says he DIDN’T do the crime.

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