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Whatever 11.14

Your daily dose of WHATEVER!!

Did Britney Spears Nail Robin Thicke 10 Years Ago?  

“In Touch” magazine says ROBIN THICKE and BRITNEY SPEARS had an affair in 2003, after collaborating on a project that never materialized.  Britney would have been around 21 at the time, and Robin would have been about 26.  Robin’s rep denies it.

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

1.  CAMERON DIAZ is definitely going for a more modern take on the Miss Hannigan character in the upcoming “Annie” remake.  (Check out her version here.  And you can find pictures of Carol Burnett in the role in the 1982 version here and here.)

 

 

 

2.  KATE HUDSON looks stunning in the new issue of “Harper’s Bazaar”.  (Here are the pics.)

 

 

 

3.  Newly-single COURTNEY STODDEN whored it up for a beach photoshoot.  (If your taste in women tends toward the PLASTIC, you can’t do better than this girl.  Here are the pics.)

 

 

 

4.  Check out LARRY DAVID courtside at a Knicks game . . . looking utterly unimpressed.  (Here’s the pic.)

 

 

 

5.  Check out video and animated GIFs of a young RYAN GOSLING in a “Lassie” parody that aired on “The Mickey Mouse Club”.  (Here’s the link.)

 

 

 

6.  Someone out there had the time to re-draw Disney villains WAY HOTTER.  (Check ‘em out here.)

And Now . . . Celebrities Explaining Why They’re Not on Twitter 

Not ALL celebrities have succumbed to Twitter . . . and VanityFair.com has assembled quotes from some of those who don’t, explaining why.  For example, Daniel Craig and Tina Fey think everything people Tweet is useless . . . Jennifer Lawrence says it totally overwhelms her . . . and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie don’t know how to use a computer.

Daniel Craig:  “I am bloody not [on Facebook].  And I’m not on Twitter either . . . ‘Woke up this morning, had an egg’?  What relevance is that to anyone?  Social networking?  Just call each other up and go to the pub and have a drink.”

Tina Fey:  “Most people are so [effing] boring that they should shut up, and you should have to get a license.  And I’m volunteering to be in charge of the licenses.  Go write it in a journal and mail it to your grandma.”

Sandra Bullock:  “[I'm not on Twitter because] I don’t want anyone to know where I am.”

George Clooney:  “So one drunken night, you come home and you’ve had two too many drinks and you’re watching TV and somebody pisses you off, and you go ‘Ehhhhh’ and fight back.  And you go to sleep . .

“You wake up in the morning and your career is over.  Or you’re an [A-hole].  Or all the things you might think in the quiet of your drunken evening are suddenly blasted around the entire world before you wake up.”

Julia Roberts:  “[Social media] is kind of like cotton candy . . . It looks so appealing and you just can’t resist getting in there, and then you just end up with sticky fingers and it lasted an instant.”  (???)

Jennifer Lawrence:  “Everybody was talking yesterday about Twitter and Instagram and Tumblr.  It was really confusing me and overwhelming me.  I literally started losing my breath

“People were showing me these hilarious things and I was like . . . I want to have this.  What’s Pinterest?  I don’t have it.  I know by the time I get it, it’ll be something else.  I bought a CD case less than a year ago.”  (???)

Check Out Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson As Their “Fifty Shades of Grey” Characters 

“Fifty Shades of Grey” stars JAMIE DORNAN and DAKOTA JOHNSON got into character for an “Entertainment Weekly” photo shoot.  (Check out the pictures here.)

Dornan tells the magazine he was, quote, “really [effing] excited to get the part.”  He added, quote, “I grew up in a very liberal place. I’m not saying we had a playroom, but I’m not shocked by the sex in the book.

Meanwhile, Dakota’s biggest hang-up isn’t getting naked, but looking good when she does . . . quote, “Obviously, I want to look good naked.  I totally understand now why people exercise, because it kind of [effing] feels awesome.”

“Modern Family’s” Viewers Are the Richest . . . While “Bob’s Burgers’” Viewers Are the Poorest 

TheWrap.com has put out a report on which shows have the RICHEST audience, and which shows have the POOREST.  “Modern Family” viewers make the MOST money, with an average salary of $81,100 a year.  “Bob’s Burgers” was on the other end, with viewers earning $48,800 a year.

Mariah Carey Says “American Idol” Was “Hell” . . . and She Refers to Nicki Minaj as “Satan” 

In a new interview, MARIAH CAREY says she “hated” doing “American Idol” last season.  She adds, quote, “It was like going to work every day, in hell, with Satan.”  And yeah, it sure sounds like she’s talking about NICKI MINAJ, although she didn’t specifically mention her name.

Matthew Perry and Courteney Cox Will Reunite on “Cougar Town” 

Former “Friends” stars MATTHEW PERRY and COURTENEY COX will reunite on an upcoming episode of her show, “Cougar Town”.  There’s no airdate yet.  Earlier this year, Courteney appeared on Matthew’s failed show, “Go On”.

Matthew is the third “Friends” star to reunite with Courteney on “Cougar Town”.  LISA KUDROW guest-starred in Season One . . . and JENNIFER ANISTON was on during Season Two.

TBS will begin airing Season Five of “Cougar Town” on January 8th. 

Thursday TV Reminders:

 

 

“Thursday Night Football” . . . 8:25 to 11:25 P.M. Eastern on the NFL Network.  The Tennessee Titans host the Indianapolis Colts.

 

 

“The X Factor” [Results] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.

 

 

“Grey’s Anatomy” . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.  Hector Elizondo guest stars as Callie’s father.

 

 

“The Crazy Ones” . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on CBS.  Brad Garrett guest stars.

 

 

“Ground Floor” [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TBS.  Skylar Astin, a.k.a. Jesse in “Pitch Perfect”, is a banking executive who falls for a woman in his building’s maintenance department . . . played by Briga Heelan from “Cougar Town”.

 

 

“Million Dollar Shoppers” [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Lifetime.

 

 

“Later… With Jools Holland” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. Eastern on Palladia.  Country minx Kacey Musgraves performs.  Some of the other acts include Manic Street Preachers, Polica, Jake Bugg, and V.V. Brown.

 

 

“Watch What Happens:  Live” . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Bravo.  Terrence Howard (“The Best Man Holiday”) guests.

 

 

“Eagleheart” [3rd Season Premiere] . . . Midnight to 12:30 A.M. on Adult Swim.

 

 

“Alpha House” [Series Premiere] . . .  starts streaming today on Amazon Prime.  It’s a political comedy that stars John Goodman and Mark Consuelos.

Thursday’s Daytime Talk Show Guests:

 

“The Today Show”Martha Stewart.

 

“Good Morning America”Idris Elba (“Thor: The Dark World”) and Damian Lewis (“Homeland”).

 

“CBS This Morning”Geoffrey Rush (“The Book Thief”).

 

“Ellen DeGeneres”Kerry Washington (“Scandal”) and David Morrissey (the Governor on “The Walking Dead”).  “The Office’s” Ellie Kemper guest DJs.

 

“Live! With Kelly and Michael”Idris Elba (“Thor: The Dark World”), “SNL’s” Seth Meyers, and your new 2013 Miss Universe Gabriela Isler.

 

“The View”Will Forte (“Nebraska”), Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen (Broadway’s “No Man’s Land” and “Waiting for Godot”).  Matthew McConaughey’s wife, Camila Alves co-hosts.

 

“The Talk”Christina Applegate and chef Roy Choi.

 

“Katie Couric” – The cast of BET’s “Real Husbands of Hollywood”, which includes Nelly, Nick Cannon, and comedian Kevin Hart.

 

“Queen Latifah Show”Monica Potter (“Parenthood”), LL Cool J (“NCIS: Los Angeles”), and the winner of the “Pillsbury Bake-Off Contest”, Glori Spriggs.

 

“Wendy Williams”Bellamy Young (the First Lady on “Scandal”).

 

“Rachael Ray”Nick Cannon (“Real Husbands of Hollywood”).

Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:

 

 

“Letterman”Claire Danes (“Homeland”), Will Forte (“Nebraska”) and Metric.

 

 

“Jimmy Kimmel”Sarah Silverman, David Blaine and R&B singer Charlie Wilson.

 

 

“The Tonight Show”Jaimie Alexander (“Thor: The Dark World”) and Craig Ferguson.  Music Guests:  J Rand with Flo Rida.

 

 

“Jimmy Fallon”Steve Coogan (“Philomena”) and Damian Lewis (“Homeland”).  Music Guest:  Sheryl Crow.

 

 

“Carson Daly” – Comedienne Erin Foley.  Music Guest:  Two Door Cinema Club.

 

 

“Arsenio” – The mantastic cast from the movie “The Best Man Holiday”, which includes Taye Diggs, Morris Chestnut, and Terrence Howard.  Music Guests:  Robert Glasper Experiment and Anthony Hamilton.

 

 

“Conan”Melissa McCarthy and Billy Gardell (“Mike & Molly”), plus Chris Elliott (“Eagleheart”).

 

 

“Craig Ferguson”Casey Wilson (“Happy Endings”) and Donald Sutherland (“The Hunger Games: Catching Fire”).

 

 

“Chelsea Lately”Kerry Washington (“Scandal”).

 

 

“Jon Stewart”Geoffrey Rush (“The Book Thief”).

 

 

“The Colbert Report”Author Alexis Ohanian (“Without Their Permission: How the 21st Century Will Be Made, Not Managed”).

The Top Ten Habits We Wish We Could Break

According to a recent survey, the top ten habits people WISH they could break include smoking, swearing, picking your nose, biting your fingernails, drinking too much coffee, watching reality TV, and shopping to relieve stress.

1.  Smoking

 

2.  Swearing  (Really?  This is the part where we should tell you . . . the survey is by a British e-cigarette company.)

 

3.  Picking your nose

 

4.  Biting your fingernails

 

5.  Drinking too much coffee

 

6.  Watching reality TV

 

7.  Fast food

 

8.  Alcohol

 

9.  Going shopping to relieve stress

 

10.  Racking up debt on your credit cards 

(Daily Mail) 

Would You Rather Live to 60 With Internet Access . . . or to 80 Without It?

According to a new survey, one in four people would rather live to 60 WITH internet access, than to 80 without it.  But the people surveyed were students . . . so they’re a long way to either 60 or 80, and they’ve never known life WITHOUT the internet.

(RTE)

80% of People Say the Best Place to Meet Someone Is . . . Work?

Believe it or not, 80% of people say the best place to meet someone is . . . at WORK.  Most women say they’d want to date their boss or someone more senior than them . . . and most men say they’d want to date someone more junior than them.

(Counsel & Heal)

The Top Five Reasons Your Boss Won’t Apologize When They Screw Up

A new survey found only 5% of employees say their boss apologizes for screwing up . . . versus HALF of bosses who SAY they apologize.  When they DON’T apologize, their top reasons are a fear of looking incompetent, a fear of looking weak, and, quote, “I’m the boss, I shouldn’t have to.”

(PR Newswire)

The Average Woman Spends $44,300 on Her Hair Over the Course of Her Life

According to a new survey, the average woman spends about $44,300 on her hair over the course of their life.  That’s an average of about $703 a year, for trips to the salon, coloring, shampoo and conditioner, styling products, and accessories.  And 83% of women say the cost is TOTALLY WORTH IT.

(Daily Mail)

The Average Pet Causes $440 Worth of Damage a Year?

 

This seems high, but according to a new survey, the average pet causes $440 worth of damage a year.  The main way is from chewing, biting, or drooling on stuff . . . but also by knocking electronics into the toilet, vomiting or peeing on them, and burying things in the yard.

(Daily Mail)

What’s the Shortest But Funniest Joke You Know?

What’s the shortest but funniest joke you know?  A few of our favorites are:  How many Freudian psychologists does it take to screw in a penis? . . . For Sale:  Parachute.  Only used once, never opened . . . and, Why are New Yorkers so depressed?  Because the light at the end of the tunnel is Jersey.

(Reddit)

What’s Something People Constantly Brag About That Doesn’t Impress You?

What’s something people constantly brag about that doesn’t impress you?  A few of the best ones we’ve heard are:  How little they paid attention or “tried” in school . . . how many black or gay friends they have . . . how fast and irresponsibly they drive . . . and how they “don’t get computers.”

Reddit)

A Couple Who Got Married on 9/10/11 Just Had Their First Child on 11/12/13

This is some real numerology stuff right here.  A couple in South Carolina who got married on 9/10/11 just had their first child . . . on 11/12/13.  The baby was born two weeks before his due date . . . he and his mother are both doing well.

(FOX 21 – Greenville) 

 

Two Guys Bet on a Soccer Game . . . One Bet His House, the Other Bet His Wife

On Sunday, there was a huge soccer game in England between Arsenal and Manchester United.  And two guys in Uganda made an EXTREME bet on the game . . . one guy bet his house on Arsenal, the other guy bet his WIFE on Manchester United.  Manchester ended up winning, so he got the house . . . and moved in on Monday.  There’s no word on just how upset his wife is right now.

(Uganda Observer)

 

Birthdays

Olga Kurylenko – 34  (Bond girl from “Quantum of Solace”.  She’s rumored to be in the running to play Wonder Woman in the next Superman movie.)

 

 

Travis Barker – 38  (Drummer from Blink-182.  Also famous for ALMOST DYING with DJ AM in that plane crash back in September of ’08.  But thanks to being burned all over his body and having multiple skin grafts, he gets a redo on a lot of his old tattoos.  So he’s got that going for him.)  (???)

 

 

Josh Duhamel – 41  (“Transformers” stud.  He gives it to Fergie OH-SO-NASTILY.  She recently bore him a son, whom they named Axl.  It’s a guarantee that at least one of the three of them will regret that someday.)

 

 

Janine Lindemulder – 45  (The mattress actress who Jesse James was married to before he broke Sandra Bullock’s heart.  Janine’s adult career included such fine films as “Eager Beaver”, “Fire in the Hole” and “Janine’s Been Blackmaled”.)

 

 

Curt Schilling – 47  (Former Boston Red Sox pitching stud who was amazing in the 2004 playoffs DESPITE his bloody, busted ankle being on the verge of SNAPPING OFF.)

 

 

Patrick Warburton – 49  (Puddy on “Seinfeld” and the voice of Peter’s wheelchair-bound neighbor Joe on “Family Guy”.  Plus, he WAS “The Tick”!)

 

 

Laura San Giacomo – 51  (Petite, top-heavy-minx Maya Gallo on “Just Shoot Me”.  She was also Julia Roberts’ hooker-friend in “Pretty Woman”.)

 

 

CONDOLEEZZA RICE – 59  (Very Sexy Nubian Former Secretary of State.  Also the subject of a LOVE SONG written by the late, great Muammar Gaddafi called “Black Flower in the White House”!)  (TRUE!!!)

YANNI! – 59  (DASHING GREEK MUSICAL GOD WHO USED TO NAIL LINDA EVANS ANY TIME HE WANTED TO!  Not sure if he did her Greek-style . . . “butt” . . . HE PROBABLY DID!)

James Young – 64  (Guitarist in Styx.  Their biggest albums include 1977′s “The Grand Illusion” featuring “Come Sail Away”;  1981′s “Paradise Theater” with “The Best of Times” and “Too Much Time On My Hands” . . .)

Prince Charles – 65

Boutros Boutros-Ghali – 91  (Former U.N. Secretary-General with a name so nice you have to say it twice.)

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• 8 days to “Catching Fire”

• 14 days until Thanksgiving

• 29 days to “The Hobbit: Part 2″

• 41 days until Christmas

• 92 days to Valentine’s Day

• 1,163 days left of “Hope and Change”

162 years ago . . . in 1851 – A little book HERMAN MELVILLE wrote called “Moby Dick” was first published in the U.S.

 

 

27 years ago . . . in 1986 – GENE HACKMAN’S classic basketball film “Hoosiers” was released.

 

 

26 years ago . . . in 1987 – SONNY & CHER WERE PRODDED BY DAVID LETTERMAN INTO SINGING “I GOT YOU BABE” ON HIS SHOW.

 

 

23 years ago . . . in 1990 – THE WHO’S PETE TOWNSHEND confessed his BISEXUALITY to “Newsweek”.  Bisexual Pete Townshend said, quote, “I know how it feels to be a woman because I am a woman.  And I won’t be classified as just a man.”

 

 

20 years ago . . . in 1993 – Miami Dolphins coach DON SHULA picked up his 325th win, an NFL record.

 

 

20 years ago . . . in 1993 – PUERTO RICO VOTED AGAINST BECOMING THE 51ST U.S. STATE.  Why they hatin’?  (???)

 

 

20 years ago . . . in 1993 – H. Shiozawa & T. Urata discovered ASTEROID #7136, while M. Hirasawa & S. Suzuki discovered ASTEROID #6416.

 

 

17 years ago . . . in 1996 – MICHAEL JACKSON married DEBBIE ROWE.  They spawned two kids, son Prince Michael Jackson, Jr. and daughter Paris Michael Katherine Jackson, before divorcing in 1999.

 

 

15 years ago . . . in 1998 – CARMEN ELECTRA married DENNIS RODMAN.  The nation was SHOCKED when they divorced less than six months later.

10 Year Flashback:  The Guy From Paris Hilton’s Sex Tape Is Now Suing Her? . . . and Flash-Forward to Today’s Perspective on Rick Solomon

 

 

Our Flashback section features a story we were talking about on The Complete Sheet 10 years ago to this day.  We’ve also added some modern perspective to give these stories some context today.

 

 

Flashback to 2003:  The Guy From Paris Hilton’s Sex Tape Is Now Suing Her?

 

 

We didn’t see this coming.  RICK SALOMON . . . the gentleman from the PARIS HILTON sex tape . . . is now planning to SUE her and her family for DEFAMING him.

He claims the Hiltons accused him of leaking the tape for publicity . . . and of making the tape when Paris was drunk.

He’ll be seeking $10 MILLION.

 

 

Today’s Perspective . . . So What Happened to Rick Salomon?

It’s not clear why Rick Salomon was so OUTRAGED over the suggestion that he was behind the tape . . . because in April of 2004, HE started distributing it.

He dropped his lawsuit in July of 2004 and ended up agreeing to pay Paris $400,000 plus a cut of the tape’s profits.

Since then, Salomon has gone on to have a seven-month marriage with Shannen Doherty and a 10-week marriage with Pam Anderson.

(Rick and Pam were just spotted fooling around over the summer.)

 

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