Your daily dose of WHATEVER!!
Justin Bieber’s Brazilian Prostitute Says His Manhood is “Average”
JUSTIN BIEBER’S Brazilian prostitute gave an interview to some website, in which she described the sex as, quote, “SUPER DELICIOUS.” She added that it lasted about an hour.
She said, quote, “I wanted to do everything with him. I did everything!”
And now, on to the detail you’ve been waiting for: How many inches of delicious hairlessness is Justin packing? She says he was, quote, “AVERAGE.”
Miley Cyrus Grabbed a Little Person’s Breast, Showed Off Her Camel Toe and Lit a Joint Onstage at the MTV Europe Music Awards
MILEY CYRUS appeared at the MTV Europe Music Awards in Amsterdam over the weekend . . . and once again did everything she possibly could to get attention. She showed major camel toe, squeezed the latex-clad breast of her little person dancer and lit a joint onstage while accepting an award.
She performed twice. At the beginning of the show she sang about 90 seconds of “We Can’t Stop”.
She had her little person twerker onstage with her . . . but this time she was dressed head-to-toe in latex. And Miley GROPED HER BREAST. (Here’s video.)
Later on she sang “Wrecking Ball” . . . in an outfit that gave her MAJOR CAMEL TOE.
Miley also won Best Video for “Wrecking Ball” . . . and during her acceptance speech she pulled a joint out of her purse and lit it. (Here’s video of Miley lighting up. And here are pictures of all the other chaos.)
Shocker: Charlie Sheen Cares More About Drugs and Porn Stars Than His Kids
An anonymous source at child services says CHARLIE SHEEN, quote, “cares more about his drugs and porn stars than he does the kids.” Meanwhile, BROOKE MUELLER’S brother was given custody of their twins on Friday, which prompted Charlie to violate a gag order and call the judge, quote, “anus-brain.”
Did Tom Cruise Say Making Movies Is As Hard as Fighting in Afghanistan?
In a recent legal deposition, TOM CRUISE compared making movies to fighting in Afghanistan. But his attorney says he didn’t mean to say making movies was just as hard. He says, quote, “What Tom said, laughingly, was that sometimes, ‘That’s what it feels like.'” He added that Tom is, quote, “a staunch supporter of our troops.”
And Now . . . Lady Gaga Wears a Flying Dress
LADY GAGA does a lot of weird stuff . . . but sometimes it’s actually COOL. Like yesterday when she wore a FLYING DRESS. Okay, so it only lifted her a few feet off the ground. It’s still worth a look. (Check out a picture and video here.)
“Thor” Topped the Box Office With $86 Million
“Thor: The Dark World” was the only new movie in theaters this weekend, giving it the easy win at the box office. It made just over $86 million in its first three days of release, about $20 million more than the original made when it came out in 2011.
When you add in international ticket sales, “Thor: The Dark World” has made $327 million worldwide.
Here are this week’s Top 10 movies:
1. (NEW) “Thor: The Dark World”, $86.1 million.
2. “Bad Grandpa”, $11.3 million. Up to $78.7 million in its 3rd week.
3. “Free Birds”, $11.2 million. Up to $30.2 million in its 2nd week.
4. “Last Vegas”, $11.1 million. Up to $33.5 million in its 2nd week.
5. “Ender’s Game”, $10.3 million. Up to $44 million in its 2nd week.
6. “Gravity”, $8.4 million. Up to $231 million in its 6th week.
7. “12 Years a Slave”, $6.6 million. Up to $17.3 million in its 4th week.
8. “Captain Phillips”, $5.8 million. Up to $91 million in its 5th week.
9. “About Time”, $5.2 million. Up to $6.7 million in its 2nd week.
10. “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2″, $2.8 million. Up to $110 million in its 7th week.
Bill Cosby Is Working on a New Sitcom, and a “Fat Albert” Remake
BILL COSBY hasn’t done much on TV over the past 13 years . . . but he’s developing TWO new shows: A family sitcom like “The Cosby Show” . . . and a new version of “Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids”. Also in two weeks, Comedy Central will air his first concert special in 30 YEARS.
Monday TV Reminders:
• “Monday Night Football” . . . 8:30 to 11:30 P.M. Eastern on ESPN. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers host the Miami Dolphins.
• “The Voice” . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC. The top 12 contestants perform.
• “Dancing with the Stars”. . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.
• “Life After Anna Nicole: The Larry & Dannielynn Story” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on E! A look at the life of Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter, Dannielynn, with her father Larry Birkhead.
• “Dream School” [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Sundance.
• “Watch What Happens: Live” . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Bravo. Brandi Glanville (“The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills”) and Mark Consuelos.
Monday’s Daytime Talk Shows:
• “The Today Show” – Nick Cannon, Lady Antebellum, Sarah Palin, and “American Horror Story’s” Jessica Lange.
• “GMA” – Geoffrey Rush (“The Book Thief”) and Jason Derulo.
• “Ellen DeGeneres” – Rebel Wilson (“Super Fun Night”) and Adam Lambert is your guest DJ.
• “Live! With Kelly and Michael” – “American Horror Story’s” Jessica Lange for her children’s book “It’s About a Little Bird” and Mark Consuelos (“Alpha House”).
• “The View” – Sara Ramirez (“Grey’s Anatomy”). Music Guest: Julian Lennon. Medal of Honor recipient Sergeant Dakota Meyer co-hosts.
• “The Talk” – Donnie Wahlberg (“Blue Bloods”) and chef Ree Drummond. Marie Osmond co-hosts.
• “Katie Couric” – Taye Diggs (“The Best Man Holiday”) and Alec Baldwin’s wife, sexy yoga instructor Hilaria Baldwin.
• “Queen Latifah Show” – Nick Cannon (BET’s “Real Husbands of Hollywood”) and Carol Burnett.
• “Wendy Williams” – Porsha Stewart (“The Real Housewives of Atlanta”) and Hollyscoop.com’s Diana Madison.
• “Rachael Ray” – Liv Tyler for her book “Modern Manners: Tools to Take You to the Top” and chef Richard Blais prepares turkey in a bag.
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “Letterman” – Julianna Margulies (“The Good Wife”) and U.S. Army Chief of Staff General Ray Odierno. Music Guest: Moon Taxi.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Zooey Deschanel (“New Girl”) and Chris Elliott (“Eagleheart”). Music Guest: Frank Turner.
• “The Tonight Show” – Casey Affleck (“Out of the Furnace”) and Kelly Clarkson. Music Guest: Lyle Lovett.
• “Jimmy Fallon” – Billy Crystal, Evan Rachel Wood, and Cher Lloyd with Skee-Lo.
• “Carson Daly” – “Top Chef’s” Ilan Hall and “Medora” director Davy Rothbart (). Music Guest: White Denim.
• “Arsenio” – Retta (“Parks and Recreation”) and Donnie Wahlberg (“Blue Bloods”).
• “Conan” – Jon Cryer (“Two and a Half Men”), Avril Lavigne, and Canadian astronaut Colonel Chris Hadfield for his book “An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth”.
• “Craig Ferguson” – LL Cool J (“NCIS: Los Angeles”).
• “Chelsea Lately” – Former White House chef Sam Morgante.
• “Jon Stewart” – Author Doris Kearns Goodwin (“The Bully Pulpit: Theodore Roosevelt, William Howard Taft, and the Golden Age of Journalism”).
• “The Colbert Report” – Author Peter Baker (“Days of Fire: Bush and Cheney in the White House”).
Someone Created an Online Petition Begging Beyoncé Not to Go to Kim Kardashian’s Wedding
Someone created a petition on Change.org to get BEYONCÉ to NOT go to KIM KARDASHIAN and KANYE WEST’S wedding. It featured some fun shots at Kim and Kanye but it turned out to be a joke, and the original author said he didn’t care if she went or not.
A List of Every Celebrity Eminem Has Ever Dissed
The site SocialReader.com has put together a comprehensive list of “Every Celebrity EMINEM Has Dissed.” It’s even alphabetized
There are 54 names on it, including: Christina Aguilera, Mariah Carey, Miley Cyrus, Ellen DeGeneres, Kevin Federline, Michael J. Fox, Norah Jones, Lady Gaga, Limp Bizkit, Lindsay Lohan, John Mayer . . .
Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen, Sarah Palin, Ben Roethlisberger, Will Smith, Britney Spears, Vanilla Ice and Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog. (???) (Here’s the complete list.)
Five Veterans Day Facts and Numbers
Today is Veterans Day, so here are five facts to know: There are 21.2 million military vets in the U.S. . . .1.6 million of them are women . . . the Vietnam War has the most living veterans, with approximately 7.4 million . . . there are still about 1.6 million living World War Two vets . . . and there are no living World War One vets.
1. Veterans Day didn’t start until 1954. November 11th used to be Armistice Day, marking the anniversary of the end of World War One. PRESIDENT EISENHOWER changed it to Veterans Day to honor veterans of ALL wars.
2. There are about 21.2 million military veterans in the U.S., and 1.6 million of them are women.
3. The Vietnam War has the most living veterans, with approximately 7.4 million. The two Gulf Wars have 5.4 million . . . the Korean War has 2.3 million . . . World War Two has 1.6 million . . . and 5.3 million veterans served during peace time.
4. There are no surviving U.S. World War One veterans. Frank Buckles was the last one . . . he died two years ago at 110 years old.
5. Alaska has the largest percentage of veterans, with 13.6% of the adult population. Montana is second, at 12.7%. (U.S. Census Bureau)
A Veteran with No Friends or Family Died at Age 99 . . . But Hundreds of People Are Expected at His Funeral This Morning Because of Twitter
A British World War Two vet named Harold Percival passed away last month in his sleep, at age 99. And when the funeral home found out he didn’t have any close friends or family, they wrote in his obituary that veterans and military personnel would be welcome at the service. But a soldier posted the obituary on Twitter, it got retweeted 4,000 times, and HUNDREDS of people are expected at his funeral this morning.
The Only Word That’s the Same in Every Single Language Is . . . Huh?
A new study has found there’s ONE word that has the same universal meaning in pretty much EVERY language. And it’s . . . “Huh?” Researchers traveled to remote villages on several continents, and found that EVERYONE had a version of “Huh” they used to get someone to clarify or repeat something.
One in 10 Women Love Their Pet More Than Their Significant Other . . . and Five Other Stats on Women and Pets
According to a new survey, 10% of women say they love their PET more than their significant other . . . one in three love their pet as MUCH as their partner . . . and 39% go to their pet for AFFECTION if they feel like they’re being ignored.
People Who “Like” Charities on Facebook Are Less Likely to Actually Donate Money
I know it FEELS like you’re supporting a charity when you “like” them on Facebook. But you know what REALLY supports them? Actually giving them money.
A new study out of the University of British Columbia found that people who “like” charities or post about charities on social media are LESS likely to actually donate to them.
The researchers say it’s because people who publicly support charities on social media feel like they’ve satisfied their desire to look good to other people . . . which gives them less of a sense of urgency to donate. (Newsroom America)
Will You Have Sex With Your Significant Other When They’re Sick?
Do your RAW SEXUAL URGES overpower your urges NOT to have someone breathing flu germs directly into your mouth? A LOT of people say yes.
In a new survey, only 35% of women and 29% of men say they WOULDN’T have sex with their significant other when he or she was sick.
But it would be prostitute-style “no kissing” sex . . . HALF of people say they wouldn’t kiss their significant other if they were sick. (FemaleFirst)
A Former Employee Is Suing the Cheating Website Ashley Madison . . . Because She Wrote So Many Fake Women’s Profiles She Hurt Her Wrists
A former employee is suing the website Ashley Madison . . . which is for people looking to CHEAT on their spouses. The woman says they hired her to write 1,000 FAKE PROFILES for sexy women . . . and she hurt her wrists trying to get that done under her three-week deadline. She’s suing for $20 million.
What Method of Death Do You Want to Avoid Most?
What method of DEATH do you want to avoid more than any other? A few of the top ones are: Being buried alive and going insane from claustrophobia as you slowly die from dehydration . . . being dragged down into the ocean and watching the light from the surface slowly fade . . . and swallowing hydrochloric acid that makes your organs disintegrate.
A Guy Dies From Drinking an Old Bottle of Juice . . . That Turns Out to Be $54,000 Worth of Liquid Meth
For some reason, a guy in London recently drank a bottle of juice that came in the mail addressed to the wrong person three YEARS ago. And he DIED the same day, because it WASN’T actually juice . . . it was $54,000 worth of liquid CRYSTAL METH. Police say there’s no way to track down the person who sent it, because the box it came in got tossed out years ago.
Police Respond to Banging, Screaming, and Crying in a House . . . But It’s Just a Family Frustrated By Putting Together Ikea Furniture
Around 1:00 A.M. on Friday, police in Sweden got a call about banging, screaming, and crying coming from inside a house. But when the cops got there, they found the noise was from . . . a family frustrated by putting together IKEA FURNITURE. The parents were struggling to put it together, woke up their baby, and it started crying.
Christa Allen – 22 (Charlotte Grayson on ABC’s “Revenge”.)
Mark Sanchez – 27 (Butt-fumbling New York Jets quarterback who is no longer nailing Eva Longoria.)
LEONARDO DICAPRIO – 39 (Birth name: Leonardo WILHELM DiCaprio.)
Adam Beach – 41 (Token Native American character actor who’s been in everything from “Law and Order: SUV” to “Big Love”.)
Carson Kressley – 44 (The extra-gay one from “Queer Eye”.)
Calista Flockhart – 49 (“Ally McBeal” minx who was THE star of “Brothers & Sisters”. She and Harrison Ford make the taboo cross-generational love. He’s 70.)
Demi Moore – 51 (Remember how hot Demi used to be? I STILL can’t get over the fact that Demi is now the same age as Rue McCalanahan was when “The Golden Girls” premiered.)
Stanley Tucci – 53 (Oscar winning character actor who was Caesar Flickerman in “The Hunger Games” and one of Meryl Streep’s sidekicks in “The Devil Wears Prada”. He was also in “Captain America” as the scientist who creates the serum that turns Chris Evans into Captain America.)
Superstar Ian Marsh – 57 (Master musician in the Human League AND Heaven 17! The Human League’s biggest single is 1981’s “Don’t You Want Me?”.)
Fuzzy Zoeller – 62 (Professional golfer.)
Barbara Boxer – 73 (One of California’s two sexy Democratic senators.)
Jonathan Winters – Would have been 88 – (1925 – 2013) (Legendary genius funnyman. Without Jonathan Winters, there would be NO ROBIN WILLIAMS!)
Kurt Vonnegut – Would have been 91 – (1922 – 2007) (Brilliant author whose many great books include “Slaughterhouse Five”, “Breakfast of Champions” and “Cat’s Cradle”. C’MON, IT’S A QUICK READ!)
George S. Patton – (1885 – 1945) (“Old Blood & Guts” World War Two General.)
Fyodor Dostoyevsky – (1821 – 1881) (Author of “Crime & Punishment”.)
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 11 days to “Catching Fire”
• 17 days until Thanksgiving
• 32 days to “The Hobbit: Part 2″
• 44 days until Christmas
• 95 days to Valentine’s Day
• 1,166 days left of “Hope and Change”
196 years ago . . . in 1817 – The FIRST SWORD SWALLOWER to perform in the United States did a show in New York City. Tickets to witness the deep-throating cost $1, which was pretty steep back then.
95 years ago . . . in 1918 – WORLD WAR ONE ENDED on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month. General Irwin T. Parkleton called it the “war to end all wars.” He was right! (???) November 11th used to be known as Armistice Day. Today it’s VETERAN’S DAY.
92 years ago . . . in 1921 – President Warren G. Harding dedicated the TOMB OF THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER at Arlington National Cemetery in Arlington, Virginia. They know who he is now, which kind of takes the fun out of it.
75 years ago . . . in 1938 – TYPHOID MARY DIED. Born Mary Mallon, she carried typhoid, and gave it to at least 53 people in America, three of whom DIED. Typhoid Mary spent 27 of her 68 years quarantined in prison. The typhoid isn’t spread sexually . . . but I bet she tried! (Moral of the story: Don’t have a disease named after you! Typhoid Mary . . . Lou Gehrig . . . and, lest we forget, Thaddeus O’Bladder Cancer. It just NEVER ENDS WELL.)
74 years ago . . . in 1939 – IRVING BERLIN’S “peace song”, “God Bless America”, was sung for the first time . . . by a chick named Kate Smith on her network radio show. All the royalties from the song went to the Boy and Girl Scouts of America.
32 years ago . . . in 1981 – Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher FERNANDO “PEEN-CHEE” VALENZUELA became the first chubby player to win Rookie of the Year AND the Cy Young Award in the same season! He’s Hispanic, ya know.
29 years ago . . . in 1984 – Superstar GARY COLEMAN underwent his SECOND kidney transplant.
11 years ago . . . in 2002 – Delectable DIXIE CHICK EMILY ROBISON gave birth to her first child, an 8 pound, 13 ounce baby boy that she named “Gus”. She also birthed a set of twins three years later.
10 Year Flashback: The Paris Hilton Sex Video Has Been Leaked . . . and Flash-Forward to Today’s Perspective on the Start of the Sex Tape Era
Our Flashback section features a story we were talking about on The Complete Sheet 10 years ago to this day. We’ve also added some modern perspective to give these stories some context today.
Flashback to 2003: The Paris Hilton Sex Video Has Been Leaked
For the last few days, there’s been talk of a homemade sex video featuring PARIS HILTON and her ex-boyfriend RICK SOLOMON, (who married SHANNEN DOHERTY last year but is currently ESTRANGED from her.)
This video was supposedly made three years ago, when Paris was 19. She was very much aware of the camera . . . and some of it was apparently shot with NIGHT VISION.
The real tape leaked to the Internet yesterday. There have been several fakes . . . but this one appears to be the real thing.
Today’s Perspective . . . Paris Ushered In the Beginning of the Sex Tape Era
We can’t believe it’s only been 10 years since the Paris Hilton sex tape . . . feels like that happened in, like, 1973 or something.
Her sex tape immediately launched her to a higher level of fame . . . which didn’t go unnoticed. Soon after this, DOZENS of celebrity sex tapes “accidentally” leaked out.
The one that had the most success was KIM KARDASHIAN’S tape with RAY J. No one had heard of Kim . . . other than that she was Paris’s friend . . . and after her tape “leaked,” the Kardashian empire started growing.