Your daily dose of WHATEVER!!
Kris and Bruce Jenner Are Separated
KRIS and BRUCE JENNER are separated after 22 years of marriage. They issued a statement saying, quote, “We are living separately and we are much happier this way . . . We will always remain best friends and, as always, our family will remain our number one priority.” Sources say they have no plans to divorce.
Kris says, quote, “We are living apart. But there is no animosity. We are united and committed to our family.”
She added, quote, “We ended a marriage, but that’s not the end of our friendship. I will always love him, but we are [no] longer a couple in that way.”
They also released a joint statement saying, quote, “We are living separately and we are much happier this way . . . We will always remain best friends and, as always, our family will remain our number one priority.”
Game Threatened to Go All Kanye on the Paparazzi to Protect Khloe Kardashian
KHLOE KARDASHIAN got swarmed by the paparazzi while leaving a club Monday night with a group of friends, including the rapper GAME. Game went after the paparazzi, saying, quote, “You thought Kanye was a problem? I’m a REAL problem.” Game also Tweeted that nothing is going on between him and Khloe.
Robin Thicke’s Family is Pretty Messed Up
The “National Enquirer” decided to run down all the damage in ROBIN THICKE’S family. In a nutshell, it includes alcoholism, marijuana, three-way sex, womanizing and even MURDER. But I guess the line between functional and DYS-functional is blurred.
Pimp2-D2 Is the Greatest “Star Wars” Toy of All Time
At New York Comic Con this weekend, a company is selling a figure called PIMP2-D2 . . . which is just an R2-D2 toy with a PIMP HAT, PIMP CANE and VELVET CAPE. He’s selling for 50 bucks. There’s no word whether LucasFilm or Disney are on board with this.
Harrison Ford Has Been “Chatting” With Ridley Scott About a “Blade Runner” Sequel
HARRISON FORD is talking with director RIDLEY SCOTT about a possible “Blade Runner” sequel. He says, quote, “Yeah, we’ve been chatting about it. I truly admire Ridley as a man and as a director and I would be very happy to engage again with him in the further telling of this story.”
The Broncos-Cowboys Game Beat “NCIS” And “Sunday Night Football”
Sunday’s Broncos-Cowboys game took the top spot in the ratings. It was seen by 28.3 million people, making it one of the most-watched games of the football season. The next highest-rated show was “NCIS” with 20 million viewers.
Eight more new shows debuted last week, including the “Ironside” remake, the “Vampire Diaries” spin-off “The Originals”, and Sean Hayes’ sitcom “Sean Saves The World”. But Will Arnett’s sitcom “The Millers” was the only one to make the Top 20.
(We’ve got the ratings for all eight of those new shows here.)
Here are the top 20 shows:
1. “NFL Football: Denver vs. Dallas”, CBS, 28.3 million viewers. The Broncos beat the Cowboys, 51-48.
2. “NCIS”, CBS, 20 million viewers.
3. “The Big Bang Theory”, CBS, 18.2 million viewers.
4. “60 Minutes”, CBS, 17.9 million viewers.
5. “Sunday Night Football”, NBC, 17.7 million viewers. The San Francisco 49ers crushed the Houston Texans, 34-3.
6. “NCIS: Los Angeles”, CBS, 15.1 million viewers.
7. Tuesday’s episode of “The Voice”, NBC, 14.5 million viewers.
8. Monday’s episode of “The Voice”, NBC, 14.1 million viewers.
9. “Monday Night Football”, ESPN, 13.7 million viewers. The New Orleans Saints beat the Miami Dolphins, 38-17.
10. “Sunday Night NFL Pre-kick”, NBC, 13.3 million viewers.
11. “Dancing with the Stars”, ABC, 13.1 million viewers.
12. The series premiere of “The Millers”, CBS, 13.1 million viewers.
13. “Person of Interest”, CBS, 12.3 million viewers.
14. “The Crazy Ones”, CBS, 11.7 million viewers.
15. “Blue Bloods”, CBS, 11.4 million viewers.
16. “The Blacklist”, NBC, 11.3 million viewers.
17. “Modern Family”, ABC, 11.1 million viewers.
18. “Criminal Minds”, CBS, 11.1 million viewers.
19. “Castle”, ABC, 10.9 million viewers.
20. The 3rd season premiere of “Scandal”, ABC, 10.5 million viewers. That’s a 71% jump from last year’s premiere.
It’s also worth noting that the “The Crazy Ones” and “The Blacklist” both held on to their spots in the Top 20. The “The Blacklist” kept 97% of its premiere audience once DVR watchers were counted.
Here are some additional ratings you may or may not be interested in:
• “Thursday Night Football” had 6.9 million viewers on the NFL Network. The Cleveland Browns vs. the Buffalo Bills. The Browns won, 37-24.
• “The Simpsons” 24th “Treehouse of Horror” special had 6.4 million viewers.
• The 5th season premiere of “The Vampire Diaries” had 2.6 million viewers.
• The 1st season finale of the FX show “The Bridge” had 1.4 million viewers.
• The 11th season premiere of Bravo’s “Top Chef” had 1.3 million viewers.
“The Millers” Had the Best Ratings of Last Week’s Eight New Shows
Will Arnett’s CBS sitcom “The Millers” led the pack of last week premieres with 13.1 million viewers. Rebel Wilson’s new show “Super Fun Night” had a decent debut with 8.2 million viewers. However, “Ironside”, starring Blair Underwood, was ABC’s lowest scoring drama debut ever. It only got 6.8 million viewers.
Here’s how the new series premieres did in the ratings:
• The series premiere of Will Arnett’s sitcom “The Millers” had 13.1 million viewers.
• The series premiere of the ABC sitcom “Super Fun Night” had 8.2 million viewers. It’s about the weekly girls night out that Rebel Wilson shares with her friends.
• The series premiere of NBC’s “Ironside” remake had 6.8 million. It stars Blair Underwood in the paraplegic detective role Raymond Burr made famous in the ’60s.
• The series premiere of the CBS sitcom “We Are Men” had 6.1 million viewers. Jerry O’Connell, Tony Shalhoub, and Kal Penn play men struggling with their love lives.
• The series premiere of Sean Hayes’ NBC sitcom “Sean Saves The World” had 4.4 million viewers. He plays a divorced gay father raising a 14-year-old.
• The series premiere of “Welcome To the Family” had 3 million viewers. This NBC sitcom stars the guy who plays Kurt’s dad on “Glee”. He’s stuck in the unenviable situation of having his wife and daughter both get pregnant at the same time.
• The series premiere of the “The Vampire Diaries” spin-off “The Originals” had 2.2 million viewers. It aired right after the “Vampire Diaries” season premiere.
• The series premiere of Lifetime’s “Witches of East End” had 1.9 million viewers. It stars Channing Tatum’s hot wife Jenna Dewan as a witch in a secluded seaside town.
Wednesday TV Reminders:
• “The X Factor” [Four-Chair Challenge] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. Contestants compete for a spot in the Top 16.
• “The Middle” . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on ABC. “SNL’s” Rachel Dratch guests stars as Brick’s principal.
• “Arrow: Year One” [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on the CW. Summer Glau joins the cast this season as a shifty Russian minx. You know her as the terminator on “The Sarah Connor Chronicles”.
• “The Tomorrow People” [Series Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on the CW. Robbie Amell, cousin to “Arrow’s” Stephen Amell, stars as a troubled teen who learns he’s part of a genetically advanced race known as the Tomorrow People.
• “Full Circle” [Series Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on DirecTV. “Harry Potter’s” Tom Felton and “Friday Night Lights’” Minka Kelly play dining companions whose conversation feeds into subsequent storylines.
(–Julian Mcmahon, David Boreanaz, Keke Palmer, Kate Walsh, and Ally Sheedy are among the stars lined up as future dinner companions.)
• “South Park” . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Comedy Central. Cartman tries to warn the citizens of South Park of an imminent danger.
• “CSI” . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS. “Cheer’s” star John Ratzenberger guests as a club owner.
• “American Horror Story: Coven” [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on FX. Angela Bassett, Kathy Bates and Jessica Lange star. This season’s theme is the secret history of witches and witchcraft in America.
• “Call Me Fitz” [4th Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on DirecTV.
• “Less Than Kind” [4th Season Premiere] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on DirecTV.
• “Watch What Happens: Live” . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Bravo. MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow and Michael Strahan (“Live with Kelly and Michael”) are guests.
Early Morning Show Guests:
• “The Today Show” – Alfre Woodard (“12 Years a Slave”), Kenny Rogers, Reverend Al Sharpton for his new book “The Rejected Stone: Al Sharpton and the Path to American Leadership”, author Kayli Stollak and Granny Gail (“Granny Is My Wingman”). Music Guest: Tony Bennett.
• “Good Morning America” – Hayden Panettiere (“Nashville”), Katie Holmes (Broadway’s “Dead Accounts”), Sophie Lowe (Alice in “Once Upon a Time in Wonderland”), and chef David Myers.
• “CBS This Morning” – Comedian Russell Peters.
Mid-Morning Show Guests:
• “Live! With Kelly and Michael” – Hayden Panettiere (“Nashville”) and Max Irons (“The White Queen”).
• “The View” – Sophie Lowe and Michael Socha (“Once Upon a Time in Wonderland”). Music Guest: Kelly Clarkson. Chef Bobby Flay co-hosts.
• “Rachael Ray” – Comedian Mo Rocca.
This Afternoon On TV:
• “Ellen DeGeneres” – Jack Black (Yahoo!’s “Ghost Girl”) and Shemar Moore (“Criminal Minds”). Music Guest: Lorde.
• “The Talk” – Blair Underwood (“Ironsides”).
• “Katie Couric” – Daniel Radcliffe (“Kill Your Darlings”).
• “Steve Harvey” – Cedric the Entertainer (host of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire”) and WNBA’s Chicago Sky guard Elena Delle Donne.
• “Dr. Phil” – “Threats, Fights and Videotape”. Two couples who engage in explosive fighting that’s causing problems in their marriages.
• “Dr. Oz Show” – “Your Biggest Flu Questions Answered”. Four simple flu-fighters and what every family needs in their flu-prevention kit.
• “Wendy Williams” – Blair Underwood (“Ironside”).
• “Bethenny” – Nicole Murphy (“Hollywood Exes”), Gilles Marini (“Switched at Birth”), Mario Lopez (host of “The X Factor”), and WWE star John Cena.
• “Queen Latifah Show” – Angela Bassett (“American Horror Story: Coven”) and Naya Rivera (Santana on “Glee”). Music Guest: Gary Clark Jr.
• “Letterman” – Lucy Liu (“Elementary”) and environmental engineering professor Mark Jacobson. Music Guest: The Weeknd.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Kanye West. Music Guest: Arctic Monkeys.
• “The Tonight Show” – Whitney Cummings (“Whitney”) and Ann Romney for her cookbook “The Romney Family Table”. Music Guest: Lissie.
• “Jimmy Fallon” – Chloë Grace Moretz (“Carrie”) and Alan Rickman (“CBGB”). Music Guests: Ylvis (“The Fox”) and Cassadee Pope sits in with the Roots.
• “Carson Daly” – Comedian Deon Cole and a look at the documentary “Dirty Wars“. Music Guests: Kimbra. (REPEAT)
• “Arsenio” – Margo Martindale (“The Millers”) and Bill Maher. Music Guest: MC Lyte.
• “Conan” – Leven Rambin (“Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters”). Music Guests: Steve Martin and Edie Brickell. (REPEAT)
• “Craig Ferguson” – Sean Hayes (“Sean Saves the World”) and comedian Tom Cotter.
• “Chelsea Lately” – Sofía Vergara (“Modern Family”).
• “Jon Stewart” – Michael Fassbender (“12 Years a Slave”).
• “The Colbert Report” – Tom Hanks (“Captain Phillips”).
The 100 Inventions That Changed Our Lives in the Past 100 Years . . . Including TV, Disposable Diapers, and Beats By Dre?
There’s a new list of the top 100 inventions of the last 100 years. It includes the big ones, like TVs, computers, batteries, cell phones, and the Internet. Some ones you might not expect, like the lie detector, the Leatherman tool, and the helicopter. And some VERY questionable calls, like Beats by Dre headphones, and the Kindle Fire.
People Hate Congress More than the DMV, Hemorrhoids, and Cockroaches . . . But Not as Much as They Hate Ebola, Miley Cyrus, and Heroin
: A new poll asked Americans whether they had a higher opinion of Congress compared to other notorious people and things. A few of the things people like MORE than Congress are: Jury duty, fungus, cockroaches, the IRS, the DMV, and hemorrhoids. But people have a HIGHER opinion of Congress than Ebola, heroin, Syria, twerking, Miley Cyrus, and Anthony Weiner.
The Senior Communications Advisor for the White House Accidentally Tweeted the N-Word
Yesterday, a White House advisor named Dan Pfeiffer meant to send out a tweet with the word “bigger” in it . . . but accidentally typed the N-WORD. Which is obviously ironic since he works for the first African-American president . . . and also because Pfeiffer is Obama’s senior COMMUNICATIONS advisor.
America Is Below Average . . . But Not Even Close to the Dumbest First-World Country
According to a new study, America ISN’T the dumbest first-world country! We ARE below average, but still . . . not last. Japan and Finland came out on top . . . the U.S. finished 16th out of 23 . . . and Spain and Italy came in last.
14% of Men Are More Body Conscious Than Their Wives or Girlfriends
According to a new survey, 14% of men are MORE body conscious than their wives or girlfriends, and actually spend MORE time trying to get themselves ready for a vacation. The survey also found 9% of men have CANCELLED a vacation because they were insecure about their bodies.
64% of Women Say They Can’t Afford to Be Fashionable . . . and 19% Have Intentionally Damaged Clothes to Get a Discount
According to a new survey, 64% of women say they can’t afford to be fashionable, 41% have to opt for the sales rack, and 19% have intentionally DAMAGED an item just to get a discount on it. Also, the average woman spends $85 a month on clothing, but thinks that being fashionable would require $100 MORE than that.
The Eight Strangest Excuses for Having a Bad Credit Score
A credit counseling company just released a list of the STRANGEST excuses people have given to explain their bad credit score. A few of the best ones are: “I declared bankruptcy so I could be debt-free when I buy a house” . . . “Construction workers moved my mailbox” . . . and “I accidentally married the devil, she gave me gout, and ruined my credit score.”
1. “I accidentally married the devil. Our marriage license number was 666, I think she gave me gout, and ruined my credit score.”
2. “I stopped making credit card payments and filed for bankruptcy because I didn’t want any debt when I buy a house.”
3. “I pay late fees every month to help boost my credit rating.”
4. “My car broke, so I stopped making the payments so the bank would come repossess this junk car.”
5. “Construction workers moved my mailbox and I couldn’t find it for three months.”
6. “My wife thought I was paying the bills . . . I thought she was paying them.”
7. “I didn’t pay my gas credit card because they sold me bad gas.”
8. “My wife and I were abducted by aliens.” (ABC News)
Ten Diseases That Would Make Great Names for Your Daughter?
We saw a random discussion online about DISEASES that would make great names for a baby girl . . . you know, if they weren’t diseases. Some of the best ones are Rosacea, Chlamydia, Melanoma, Rubella, Malaria, and Amnesia.
4. Dementia. You could shorten it to Demi.
6. Influenza, for a Hispanic girl.
The best disease names for baby boys would be Lupus, Graves, Colic, Sars, and Hepatitis . . . but that one’s really only for an Amish kid. (Reddit)
You Unlock Your Cell Phone 110 Times a Day
Remember when we didn’t have to unlock cell phones, we could just FLIP THEM OPEN and look totally badass? Now we spend our entire lives unlocking our iPhones.
A new study found the average person unlocks their phone 110 times a day. Spread over the 16 hours you’re awake, that’s about seven times per hour, every hour.
Scotty McCreery – 20 (Honky winner of the 10th season of “American Idol”.)
Brandon Routh – 34 (Superman in the movie that attempted to kill the Superman franchise, “Superman Returns”.)
JOHN LENNON - (1940 – 1980)
Sean Lennon – 38 (John & Yoko’s taboo interracial Amer-Asian son.)
Jodelle Ferland – 19 (The demonic foster child in Renee Zellweger’s “Case 39″ . . . the little girl in “Silent Hill” . . . and young vampire Bree in “Eclipse”.)
Zachery Ty Bryan – 32 (Tim Allen’s oldest son Brad on “Home Improvement”.)
Chris O’Dowd – 34 (Kristen Wiig’s boyfriend in “Bridesmaids” and Thomas-Jane on HBO’s “Girls”. He also stars in his own HBO show, “Family Tree”.)
Nick Swardson – 37 (The crazy stalker in “Blades of Glory”, Jeff in “Grandma’s Boy”, and Bucky in “Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star”, which may have been the worst movie of 2011.)
Steve Burns – 40 (The original host of “Blues Clues” . . . who left the show to begin a “highly successful” music career. We were pretty unsuccessful in trying to figure out what he’s been doing lately, other than a YouTube series he did last year.)
P.J. Harvey – 44 (Oddly sexy singer. Guess what P.J. stands for? POLLY JEAN.)
Guillermo Del Toro – 49 (“Hellboy” director who most recently made “Pacific Rim”. He’s also doing a “Pinocchio” reboot slated to come out in 2014.)
Michael Paré – 55 (“Eddie & The Cruisers” and the ’80s sci-fi flick “The Philadelphia Experiment”. This hunk should’ve been a HUGE star.)
Ini Kamoze – 56 (“Here Comes The Hotstepper”.)
John O’Hurley – 59 (J. Peterman on “Seinfeld”. He lost to Kelly Monaco on the first season of “Dancing with the Stars” . . . he but WHOOPED her in a rematch that was based ONLY on viewer votes.)
Scott Bakula – 59 (“Quantum Leap” AND “Star Trek: Enterprise” superstar.)
Tony Shalhoub – 60 (No matter how many Emmys he won for “Monk”, he will always be Antonio on “Wings”. Also HI-larious in the “Star Trek” spoof, “Galaxy Quest”. If you appreciate “Trek” and you haven’t seen “Galaxy Quest”, you NEED TO.)
Sharon Osbourne – 61 (Witch. Don’t let her cheeriness on “The Talk” fool you.)
Jackson Browne – 65 (Biggest Hits: “Running On Empty”, “Doctor My Eyes” and Daryl Hannah. He used to date Daryl Hannah AND BEAT THE HELL OUT OF HER.)
Eddie Guerrero – (1967 – 2005) (Low rider-driving former WWE superstar.)
John Entwistle – (1944 – 2002) (Cocaine-addicted bassist for The Who.)
Shannon “Savannah” Wilsey – (1970 – 1994) (Drug-addicted mattress actress who dated Pauly Shore and then committed suicide. She shot herself after damaging her face in a car accident.)
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 4 days to “The Walking Dead”
• 7 days until Boss’s Day
• 22 days until Halloween
• 25 days until Daylight Savings Ends
• 50 days until Thanksgiving
• 1,199 days left of “Hope and Change”
Back In The Day….
1,013 years ago . . . in 1000 – LEIF ERIKSON landed in North America. Screw YOU, Columbus.
237 years ago . . . in 1776 – A group of gay Spanish missionaries settled in present-day SAN FRANCISCO.
158 years ago . . . in 1855 – The SEWING MACHINE MOTOR WAS PATENTED by the man whose name it still bears . . . ISAAC SINGER.
141 years ago . . . in 1872 – The FIRST MAIL-ORDER CATALOG was delivered. It was one page long, and was put out by MONTGOMERY WARD.
64 years ago . . . in 1949 – HARVARD LAW SCHOOL began admitting women. Let the co-ed cavorting commence.
62 years ago . . . in 1951 – MARILYN MONROE was urged to wear panties underneath her dress at RKO.
52 years ago . . . in 1961 – “Hit The Road Jack”, by RAY CHARLES, peaked at #1 on the pop singles chart, while “Crying” by ROY ORBISON peaked at #2.
40 years ago . . . in 1973 – ELVIS and PRISCILLA PRESLEY got divorced in Santa Monica, California, after six years of marriage.
40 years ago . . . in 1973 – The short-lived TV series “Shaft” came to CBS with RICHARD ROUNDTREE making the jump from the big screen to once again play the black private dick who’s a sex machine to all the chicks.
30 years ago . . . in 1983 – Helen Moss of Oxfordshire, England, became the OLDEST PERSON TO JOIN THE BROWNIES. She was 86. (She got her badge in knot-tying using nothing but her BREASTS. No YOU shut up!!! I came prepared with that joke!!!) (???)
28 years ago . . . in 1985 – THE STUNNING YOKO ONO dedicated a two-and-a-half acre garden memorial to JOHN LENNON in New York City’s Central Park. The memorial’s name: STRAWBERRY FIELDS.
27 years ago . . . in 1986 – FOX debuted as a TV network.
17 years ago . . . in 1996 - In the opening game of the AMERICAN LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES, 12-year-old Jeffrey Maier turned a probable fly-out into a game-tying home run.
(He reached over the right-field wall at Yankee Stadium, sweeping the ball into the stands with his baseball glove. His catch helped the Yankees win, 5-4 in 11 innings.)
14 years ago . . . in 1999 - In boxing’s first sanctioned “BATTLE OF THE SEXES”, Margaret MacGregor (A CHICK) DEFEATED Loi Chow (A DUDE . . . and professional JOCKEY) by winning all four rounds on all three judges’ cards. (ATTICA!!!)
4 years ago . . . in 2009 - President BARACK OBAMA was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. It was delivered to him via drone.