Your daily dose of WHATEVER!!
Lou Reed Has Died
Former VELVET UNDERGROUND superstar LOU REED passed away yesterday. He was 71. He’d been suffering from liver disease . . . and back in April, he had a liver transplant. He had some complications recently, and obviously he wasn’t able to pull through.
At the time, it was thought to have been a “life-saving” procedure. In June, Lou seemed pretty optimistic. In a Facebook post, he said, quote, “I am a triumph of modern medicine, physics and chemistry. I am bigger and stronger . . .
“Stronger than ever.”
His wife Laurie Anderson was more concerned. She said, quote, “It’s as serious as it gets. He was dying . . . I don’t think he’ll ever totally recover from this, but he’ll certainly be back to doing [things] in a few months . . . it’s a new life for him.”
Julianne Hough Thought It Would Be a Good Idea to Go to a Halloween Party in Blackface
JULIANNE HOUGH went to a Halloween party as an African-American character from the Netflix prison series “Orange Is the New Black”. And she wore BLACKFACE. People freaked and she apologized, saying she’s a huge fan of the show, the character and the actress who plays her, and didn’t mean to offend anyone.
(Check out pictures of Julianne and the REAL Crazy Eyes here.)
Halloween Pictures of Famous People
1. I’m not surprised PARIS HILTON would be unoriginal and uninspired enough to be MILEY CYRUS for Halloween. (Here are some pics.)
2. HUGH HEFNER and CRYSTAL HARRIS were ROBIN THICKE and MILEY CYRUS. (Here are some pics.)
3. The “Fashion Police” cast dressed up for Friday’s show. KELLY OSBOURNE was CHRISTINA HENDRICKS from “Mad Men”, and JOAN RIVERS was a fat MILEY CYRUS. (Here are some pics.)
4. SNOOKI and her family did the “Wizard of Oz”. Snooki was Dorothy, her fiancé Jionni was the scarecrow and their baby Lorenzo was the Cowardly Lion. (Here’s a pic.)
5. “Glee” star MATTHEW MORRISON threw a Halloween party. He dressed as ANDY WARHOL, while CHRIS COLFER and a friend were a pretty bizarre R2-D2 and C3P0. (Here are some pics.)
6. KATE UPTON went to a party with “Day of the Dead” skull makeup and a Marie Antoinette-type dress. Boyfriend MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY teamed up with his brother VAL and another friend to be the Three Musketeers. (Here are some pics.)
7. FERGIE and JOSH DUHAMEL dressed up TWICE this weekend. On Friday, they wore Day of the Dead makeup . . . then Saturday she was ELVIRA and he was Riff Raff from “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”. (Here are the pics.)
8. VANESSA HUDGENS was an angel in fuzzy, knee-high boots. (Check her out here.)
9. CHELSEA HANDLER went as . . . PREGNANT. (Here’s a pic.)
10. DAVID SPADE was a fox. I wonder what he said? (Here’s a photo.)
11. Someone made a NICOLAS CAGE costume that’s kind of terrifying. (Check it out here.)
12. NAYA RIVERA was a super-sexy Carmen Sandiego, and ADAM LAMBERT was an S&M guy, apparently. (Here are the pics.)
13. Check out a TON of random celebrity Halloween costume pics here.
Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis Are Having a Baby
OLIVIA WILDE and JASON SUDEIKIS are expecting their first child. A source says, quote, “They are incredibly happy. They’re very excited to welcome a new member into their family.”
Jason is 38 . . . Olivia is 29. They met on the set of “Saturday Night Live” in 2011 and started dating six months later. They got engaged in January.
Did Justin Bieber Enjoy the Talents of a Panamanian Prostitute?
Just because JUSTIN BIEBER is in between girlfriends, that doesn’t mean he’s not getting any. A Panamanian prostitute told a local newspaper that Justin sampled her talents in Panama City earlier this month.
She said the sex lasted about an hour, and Justin, quote, “had me in all the positions.” She also said he’s AVERAGE in size . . . quote, “He didn’t have a very big or very small one. I believe it was so-so. Medium. I didn’t say ‘Whoa!'”
Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr Split Up . . . Is It Justin Bieber’s Fault?
ORLANDO BLOOM and MIRANDA KERR have split up after three years of marriage. They have a 2-year-old son named Flynn. There are rumors that Miranda’s obsession with JUSTIN BIEBER may have had something to do with it. They met at a party last year and spent HOURS together. Orlando wasn’t happy.
Sean Connery is the Most Popular British Actor in America
SEAN CONNERY is the most popular British actor in America, according to a new poll.
He’s followed, in this order, by Anthony Hopkins, Liam Neeson, David McCallum from “NCIS”, and Daniel Day-Lewis.
Rounding out the Top 10 are Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Daniel Craig, Hugh Laurie and James Purefoy.
“Bad Grandpa” is the New #1 Movie in America
The JOHNNY KNOXVILLE movie “Bad Grandpa” topped the weekend box office with a strong $32 million take. “Gravity” was knocked down a notch after spending the last three weeks at #1. Its four-week total is now up to $200 million.
The only other wide release was the star-packed thriller “The Counselor”, which made just $8 million in 4th place. Here are this week’s Top 10 movies:
1. (NEW) “Bad Grandpa”, $32 million.
2. “Gravity”, $20.3 million. Up to $200 million in its 4th week.
3. “Captain Phillips”, $11.8 million. Up to $70.1 million in its 3rd week.
4. (NEW) “The Counselor”, $8 million.
5. “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2″, $6.1 million. Up to $101 million in its 5th week.
6. “Carrie”, $5.9 million. Up to $26 million in its 2nd week.
7. “Escape Plan”, $4.3 million. Up to $17.4 million in its 2nd week.
8. “12 Years a Slave”, $2.2 million. Up to $3.4 million in its 2nd week of limited release.
9. “Enough Said”, $1.6 million. Up to $13 million in its 6th week.
10. “Prisoners”, $1.1 million. Up to $59.1 million in its 6th week.
There Could Be A Second Version of “Anchorman 2″ Made of Alternate Footage
“Anchorman 2″ director ADAM MCKAY says there was so much improv going on during shooting that they could literally put together another version of the movie made almost entirely of alternate takes. In fact, the editor is in the process of doing it, and McKay thinks it would be cool to run midnight showings.
PG Movies That Are Actually Terrifying
A list of 21 PG-Rated Movies That Are Actually Terrifying includes “Jaws”, “Poltergeist”, “Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”, “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” and “The Wizard of Oz”.
1. “Jaws”, 1975. This one would have probably been PG-13, if that rating had existed at the time. But that rating wasn’t created until July of 1984.
2. “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”, 1971. There are some pretty trippy scenes . . . plus the fact that Wonka doesn’t seem to care if any of these kids live or die.
3. “Poltergeist”, 1982. Another one that probably would have been PG-13. One guy rips his face off and there’s an evil clown doll among other things.
4. “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom”, 1984. This one has sacrificial heart-ripping and monkey brain-eating. The PG-13 rating was instituted not long after this one came out.
5. “Ghostbusters”, 1984. There’s the scary librarian ghost, not to mention Sigourney Weaver’s possession.
6. “Mommie Dearest”, 1981. Faye Dunaway is easily one of the worst, if not the most terrifying, movie moms of all time.
7. “The Witches”, 1990. It’s based on a Roald Dahl story, just like “Wonka”. That guy’s children’s books were pretty subversive.
8. “Coraline”, 2009. It’s about, quote, “a monster who lures children away in order to try and trick them into having buttons sewn on their eyes.”
9. “Return to Oz”, 1985. There’s a headless witch, a scene where Dorothy is strapped down for electroshock treatment and more.
10. “Beetlejuice”, 1988. Lots of creepy imagery . . . including Beetlejuice himself.
11. “The Birds”, 1963. Children are menaced and people are pecked to death.
12. “Little Monsters”, 1989. A monster’s face melts off, and another monster rips a child’s head off.
13. “The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian”, 2008. There are some gnarly fight scenes, including one in which a guy is crushed by a gate.
14. “Gremlins”, 1984. This one has a wicked sense of humor and plenty of violence.
15. “The Wizard of Oz”, 1939. The flying monkeys . . . the Wicked Witch . . . the dark forest. There’s plenty to scare the crap out of kids.
16. “The Nightmare Before Christmas”, 1993. The Oogie Boogie Man and the Doctor are pretty creepy characters. Plus Sally keeps losing limbs and having to sew them back on.
17. “The Neverending Story”, 1984. There’s a scary wolf . . . and a scene with the hero’s horse that will TRAUMATIZE your kids.
18. “Anastasia”, 1997. Anastasia’s family is massacred. And of course there’s also Rasputin and his evil magic.
19. “Labyrinth”, 1986. David Bowie steals a baby and there are characters who rip their own bodies apart.
20. “The Dark Crystal”, 1982. The evil Skeksis are lizard-like creatures who look like buzzards.
21. “Hocus Pocus”, 1993. Witches sucking out the souls of little children.
Monday TV Reminders:
• “World Series” [Game 5] . . . 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. Eastern on Fox. The St. Louis Cardinals host the Boston Red Sox. The series is now tied at two games apiece.
• “Monday Night Football” . . . 8:30 to 11:30 P.M. Eastern on ESPN. The St Louis Rams host the Seattle Seahawks.
• “The Voice” [The Knockout Rounds Begin] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC. Coaches get a chance to steal singers as the teams compete against one another.
• “Dancing with the Stars”. . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.
• “Love & Hip Hop” [4th Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on VH1.
• “Chrissy & Mr. Jones” [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on VH1.
• “Seduced and Abandoned” . . . 9:00 to 10:30 P.M. on HBO. Alec Baldwin and director James Toback pitch a movie and seek backing at the Cannes Film Festival.
• “Celebrity Crime Files” [2nd Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TV One. Michael Jackson’s death and trial are examined.
• “Scare Tactics” [5th Season Finale] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on Syfy.
• “Watch What Happens: Live” . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Bravo. Marysol Patton (“The Real Housewives of Miami”) and Dr. Oz are guests.
• “The Pete Holmes Show” [Series Premiere] . . . Midnight to 12:30 A.M. on TBS. The voice of E*Trade baby Pete Holmes scores his own show, with his first guest being Kumail Nanjiani from “Franklin & Bash”.
Early Morning Show Guests:
• “The Today Show” – Skiier Lindsey Vonn and Tim Conway for his book “What’s So Funny?: My Hilarious Life”. Music Guest: Céline Dion.
• “Good Morning America” – Christina Milian (“The Voice”). Music Guest: Enrique Iglesias.
• “CBS This Morning” – Mary Steenburgen (“Last Vegas”), Dr. Ruth, and author Philip Shenon (“A Cruel and Shocking Act: The Secret History of the Kennedy Assassination”).
Mid-Morning Show Guests:
• “Live! With Kelly and Michael” – Robert De Niro (“Last Vegas”) and Jackson Nicoll (the kid from “Bad Grandpa”).
• “The View” – Neil Patrick Harris (“How I Met Your Mother”). Music Guest: Véronic. “The Bachelor’s” Chris Harrison co-hosts.
• “Rachael Ray” – Chef Bobby Flay and animal expert Jarod Miller.
This Afternoon On TV:
• “Ellen DeGeneres” – Michael Ealy (“Almost Human”) and Romany Malco (“Last Vegas”). Music Guest: Keith Urban.
• “The Talk” – Wynonna Judd, Bobby Brown, and George Lopez help celebrate Sheryl Underwood’s birthday.
• “Katie Couric” – Professional organizer Jeffrey Phillips, plus a man who gave away $3 billion so that kids could receive the education they deserve.
• “Queen Latifah Show” – Chris Colfer (“Glee”), plus a tribute by a top glee club. Music Guest: Ellie Goulding.
• “Steve Harvey” – Star Jones and sex therapist Dr. Laura Berman.
• “Dr. Phil” – “When Love Hurts”. Dr. Phil discusses domestic violence.
• “Dr. Oz Show” – Montel Williams discusses cancer with Dr. Oz.
• “Wendy Williams” – Jerry Ferrara (“Last Vegas”). Music Guest: August Alsina.
• “Bethenny” – Farrah Abraham. Also: Jevon “Vawn” Sims (“The New Atlanta”).
Tonight’s Late Night Talk Shows:
• “Letterman” – Charles Barkley and skiier Lindsey Vonn. Music Guest: King Krule.
• “Jimmy Kimmel” – Dax Shepard (“Parenthood”) and “X Factor” judge Kelly Rowland. Music Guest: Smallpools.
• “The Tonight Show” – Adam Levine (“The Voice”) and Ali Wentworth. Music Guests: Steve Nieve with Elvis Costello.
• “Jimmy Fallon” – Hugh Laurie. Music Guest: Céline Dion.
• “Carson Daly” – Former “Voice” contestant Tony Lucca and artist Alexa Meade. Music Guest: Blue Hawaii.
• “Arsenio” – Jillian Rose Reed (“Awkward”) and Piers Morgan. Music Guest: Hiatus Kaiyote.
• “Conan” – Comedian Steven Wright.
• “Craig Ferguson” – Katey Sagal (“Sons of Anarchy”) and director Richard Curtis (“About Time”).
• “Chelsea Lately” – Musician Julian Lennon.
• “Jon Stewart” – Nick Offerman (“Parks and Recreation”).
• “The Colbert Report” – Orlando Bloom (Broadway’s “Romeo & Juliet”).
A New Study Has the Latest Numbers on the Calories Burned During Sex
A brand new study out of Canada has tried to answer the old question of whether or not sex is a viable form of exercise. Researchers found that men burn about 4.2 calories per minute during sex, women burn 3.1. That’s about the same as walking or ballroom dancing.
Women Who Are a Size 12 Are the Happiest
According to a new survey, the women who are HAPPIEST and the most comfortable in their bodies are women who are a SIZE 12. They’re almost twice as likely to be happy with their bodies as women who are size twos. The main reason is they feel having CURVES makes them look better.
Pennsylvania Has Made It Illegal to Touch a Pregnant Woman’s Belly Without Asking Her First
In Pennsylvania, it’s now ILLEGAL to touch a pregnant woman’s belly without permission. That falls under misdemeanor harassment, which can get you a fine, community service . . . or up to a year in jail in extreme cases.
How Did You Come to the Realization That You Were an A-Hole?
Did you ever have a moment where suddenly it clicked in your head, “Oh my God. I’m a A-HOLE”? A few of the best examples of that moment we’ve heard are a guy who realized his friends would always give a disclaimer about his personality when they introduced him . . . and a guy who lost his phone and figured he’d add numbers to his new one when people contacted him, but no one did.
1. “When I realized my friends had to give disclaimers to people meeting me for the first time. ‘Don’t worry if he says something mean, that’s just how he is, we swear he’s a good guy once you get to know him.'”
2. “When a cop pulled me over and asked if I’d been, quote, ‘driving like an a-hole’ . . . and I said no, I was driving like I always do.”
3. “I lost all my phone numbers from a broken phone. I got a new phone and figured I’d add people’s numbers as they called or texted me. I didn’t get a single call or text in a month.”
4. “I heard a joke that out of every group of friends, there’s one a-hole. I thought about my friends and couldn’t pick out the a-hole. That’s when it clicked it was me.”
5. “I broke up with a girl and realized it was the third or fourth heart I’d broken just because I was bored.”
6. “When I realized the things I say made me fit in better with Internet commenters than my friends and family.” (Reddit)
And Now, Three New Things to Worry About
1. Your Boss Is Ruining Your Life. A new study out of Denmark has found the MAIN thing that makes people depressed at work is . . . a BAD BOSS. A heavy workload has NO negative effect on your happiness. (Science Nordic)
2. Good-Looking People Mess With Your Memory. A new study out of Texas Christian University found that people will LIE about their memories and their history to try to impress GOOD-LOOKING people.
But we’re SO adamant about impressing good-looking people, that eventually we actually can’t remember the difference between our lies and what REALLY happened. So, good-looking people legitimately screw with your memory. (NBC News)
3. Halloween Colored Contacts Can Make You Blind. If you’re thinking of wearing colored contacts on Halloween to be a lizard or something . . . here’s your requisite warning. They can be VERY dangerous.
Since the contacts aren’t fitted to your eye by an optometrist . . . and can be made from cheap materials . . . they can cause all sorts of eye problems, and in extreme cases, BLINDNESS. (CBS News)
Seven Totally Random Facts About Nature
Here are a few random facts about nature. Broccoli is MAN MADE . . . it was carefully bred by Italian farmers more than 2,000 years ago. Hummingbirds have metabolisms so fast they have to hibernate every night or they’d starve to death in their sleep. And a blue whale’s heart is the size of a car.
1. Lion tamers use chairs because lions are wired to focus on one thing and attack . . . so the four legs of the chair freak them out and make them back off.
2. Broccoli is man-made. It’s the result of Italian farmers more than 2,000 years ago, carefully breeding different types of wild cabbage to create it.
3. Hippopotamus milk is naturally BRIGHT PINK.
4. Hummingbirds have metabolisms that are so fast, they have to put themselves into a state of hibernation at night . . . or they’d STARVE TO DEATH in their sleep.
5. Pineapple has proteins that degrade meat . . . and that includes human flesh. People who work in pineapple processing plants generally lose their fingerprints over time from handling so much pineapple.
6. A blue whale’s heart is the size of a car.
7. You don’t smell rain . . . the moisture in the air just heightens your sense of smell and you’re smelling cement, grass, and plants. Also, that’s why if you pee in the shower, it smells worse than peeing in the toilet. (Reddit)
Scandal Rocks Brazil’s Nationwide Best Butt Competition . . . Two Contestants May Have Bribed the Judges
There’s a huge contest in Brazil every year to find the woman with the BEST BUTT. And it’s such a big deal, the winner becomes a legit celebrity. But this year, there’s a SCANDAL . . . the winner will be named next month, and two contestants allegedly bribed the judges more than $30,000 each to be named the winner and runner up.
A Guy Ran Back Into a Burning House . . . To Rescue His Beer?
A guy in Columbus, Georgia risked his life on Thursday, when he ran back into a burning building he’d just escaped from. But he didn’t go back to rescue a person, or even a pet. He went back to grab several cans of BUD LIGHT from the fridge. And he and the beer made it out safely.
A Bus Driver Is Fired For Refusing to Pick Up Kids . . . Because He Had a Psychic Vision That Something Would Go Wrong If He Stopped
Earlier this year, a school bus driver in Scotland has a PSYCHIC PREMONITION that something would go WRONG if he stopped the bus. So he blew past a few stops . . . leaving several kids STRANDED without a ride to school. He was fired.
Frank Ocean – 26 (Openly gay R&B star. He came out right before his debut album dropped last year. But it wasn’t a publicity stunt, or so he says.)
Troian Bellisario – 28 (Spencer Hasting on “Pretty Little Liars”.)
Justin Guarini – 35 (Interracial, afro-wearing “American Idol” runner-up. He’s mostly doing stage work now, including several Broadway shows.)
Joaquin Phoenix – 39
Matt Smith – 31 (The current Doctor on “Doctor Who”.)
Dayanara Torres – 39 (Former Miss Universe who used to nail Marc Anthony.)
Trista Rehn – 41 (No longer a “Bachelorette”. Still obnoxious.)
Brad Paisley – 41 (Country star who nails “Father of the Bride’s” Kimberly Williams.)
Ben Harper – 44 (He no longer interracially nails Laura Dern.)
JULIA ROBERTS – 46
Andy Richter – 47 (Once again sucking on Conan O’Brien’s teat.)
Jami Gertz – 48 (“Square Pegs”, “Sixteen Candles”, “The Lost Boys”, “Less Than Zero”. She was also Marlo Klein on HBO’s “Entourage”. Now she’s on the ABC comedy “The Neighbors”, about a human family that moves into a development that’s totally inhabited by aliens. She plays one of the humans.)
Lauren Holly – 50 (Jim Carrey’s ex-wife in real life and the chick he fell for in “Dumb and Dumber”. You also know her as Jenny Shepard on “NCIS”. She was murdered at the end of Season 5, in 2008 . . . and it’s a good thing too because she was truly ANNOYING as hell.)
Daphne Zuniga – 51 (Former “Melrose Place” minx who did a few episodes of the CW version before it was canceled. But to me she’ll always be Princess Vespa in “Spaceballs”.) (She was also on the CW’s “One Tree Hill” . . . which finally ended last year after nine seasons.)
Bill Gates – 58 (His home covers about 66,000 square feet. All the floors are heated, including the DRIVEWAY. The swimming pool has massive speakers in it so you can hear your favorite music under water.)
ANNIE POTTS – 61 (Former “Designing Women” spinner who was also in the underrated John Candy comedy classic “Who’s Harry Crumb?”)
Bruce Jenner – 64 (Olympic gold medalist and STAR OF “CHiPs”. When en fuego Erik Estrada was in a salary dispute, Bruce was brought in as Officer Steve McLeish. Sadly, he and Ponch never got to ride side-by-side OR on top of each other.)
Dennis Franz – 69 (Famous “NYPD Blue” buttocks.)
CHARLIE DANIELS – 77 (Genius who gave us “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”.)
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 3 days until Halloween
• 6 days until Daylight Savings Ends
• 11 days to “Thor: The Dark World”
• 31 days until Thanksgiving
• 58 days until Thanksgiving
• 1,180 days left of “Hope and Change”
Back in the day
337 years ago . . . in 1636 – HARVARD College was founded in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
127 years ago . . . in 1886 – The STATUE OF LIBERTY was unveiled. President Grover Cleveland formally dedicated the 225-ton, 152-foot tall gift from the snooty [slash] stinky people of France in New York Harbor.
84 years ago . . . in 1929 – THE FIRST CHILD BORN ON AN AIRPLANE WAS DELIVERED OVER MIAMI.
52 years ago . . . in 1961 – Record store owner BRIAN EPSTEIN received a request from a customer for a song called “My Bonnie” from an obscure new group called the BEATLES. He’d never heard of them . . . but he soon became their manager.
32 years ago . . . in 1981 – The LOS ANGELES DODGERS beat the NEW YORK YANKEES in six games to win the WORLD SERIES.
The Dodgers were carried on the chubby shoulders of one FERNANDO VALENZUELA . . . and one PEDRO GUERRERO! It was NOT a peen-chee!
27 years ago . . . in 1986 – Evangelist PAT ROBERTSON warned parents against the DANGERS OF HALLOWEEN. Quote: “We ought to close Halloween down. Do you want your children dressing up like witches? They are acting out Satanic rituals.”
17 years ago . . . in 1996 – RICHARD JEWELL, the delicious chubby cleared of committing the Olympic park bombing, held a news conference in Atlanta in which he thanked his mother for standing by him and lashed out at reporters and investigators who had depicted him as the bomber!
9 years ago . . . in 2004 – DAVID HASSELHOFF lost his license because of a DUI.
9 years ago . . . in 2004 – BILL O’REILLY reached some kind of undisclosed settlement with his accuser, “O’Reilly Factor” producer Andrea Mackris.
One year ago in 2012 – The SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS swept the DETROIT TIGERS to win the World Series. PABLO “KUNG FU PANDA” SANDOVAL was the series MVP.